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Gon had somehow finagled a win out of Hanzo before being forcefully knocked out by the brute of a man. Gon idiotically refused to accept the win, even after his previous forfeit with Kamine.
Killua didn't remember the rest of the matches as he grew unfocused. He tried to take a discreet step closer to Kamine but she backed away, she was clearly trying to keep her distance.
The boy sighed, he was forced to fight a small ginger-haired archer by the name of Pokkle. Killua found the man quite annoying and lacked the motivation to fight him, simply offering him the win as he returned to the sidelines.
After Leorio requested his match to be delayed due to Boduro's injuries Killua's match against Gittarackur was next. He frowned as he approached the pin-infested giant. He was looking forward to giving this man quite the beating after how he treated Kamine in the previous phase. He cracked his knuckles in anticipation as he caught a pair of worried eyes looking at him.
He turned around, his cerulean eyes met the anxious purple hues of Kamine as she glanced at him. Her eyes gave him a pleading look as he stared at her in confusion.
Kamine couldn't possibly be scared of this man... After all, the only people Killua had seen frighten the girl were members of his own family, like his Silva, Grandpa Zeno, or Illumi.
He grew even more rageful at that realization. He'd make Gittarackur pay for frightening Kamine so deeply. But before the match could start his distorted voice had called out to the boy.
"It's been a while, Kil." Gittaracker's muffled voice croaked as he began removing pins from his face. His jaw began to morph as his hair turned a familiar jet black.
Killua's eyes widened in shock as he suddenly put the pieces together, fully understanding Kamine's apprehension towards the man, "No way..." Killua mumbled as Gittaraukur's face morphed into the familiar face of his older brother, Illumi.
"Big brother..." His heart picked up his speed as his body was paralyzed in fear, he couldn't believe his psychotic older brother had followed him here of all places.
"I heard you cut up Mom and Milluki." Illumi's desolate voice chastised the boy as he struggled to respond, "She really cried, you know." Illumi said as Killua gave an awkward laugh, "I guess..." Killua muttered as he struggled to face his terrifying older brother.
"She was just so happy to see you have grown up." Illumi explained as Leorio choked. "But she was worried about how you were fairing and asked me to check up on you— especially since that beloved butler of your's had failed to keep you in check." The man shot a death glare at Kamine who avoided his gaze, staring intently at the ground as she began to tremble in fear.
Surprisingly Kurapika had taken a step in front of the female, he was still willing to defend her after she said she could never be friends with them. Kamine felt the urge to cry, yet was too horrified to let any tears fall in front of the terrifying Zoldyck.
Illumi continued, ignoring the trio, "I had no idea you wanted to be a hunter, I need a license for my next job so I that's why I'm here. It's such a pleasant coincidence that I ran into you." Illumi explained.
"I don't... really want to be a hunter..." Killua trailed off anxiously, "I just wanted to take the exam." The boy explained as he lowered his eyes, unable to make direct eye contact with his frightening older brother.
"I see. That's quite the relief." Illumi sighed as a sinister aura began surrounding him, "Then let me offer you some advice, you're not cut out to be a hunter." His words cut Killua deep as the albino boy struggled to breath, being slowly suffocated by the man's aura.
"You were born to be an assassin."
Kamine frowned as her heart lurched in despair, Killua had fought tooth and nail to disconnect himself from his assassination roots and here Illumi was, dragging him right back and Kamine was powerless to stop him.
"You're a puppet of darkness, without passion. You don't have wants or desires. As someone who lives in the shadows, you can only feel pleasure when people die." Illumi determined for the boy as Kamine grew frustrated, she didn't care if Illumi was one of her master's or not, how dare he belittle Killua's feelings like that. She knew the kindhearted boy could never grow to hate his older brother, which is why she grew vengeful for him. All his maltreatment, his manipulation, his absolute neglect for Killua's true feelings, they burned brightly inside of her as she shot the man a death glare.
She'd stop him even if it killed her, Killua didn't deserve this— no one did. She took a threatening step into the ring as the man in questioned stared her down.
He simply scoffed before issuing her a demand, "Don't get in my way, you rodent." The young master had beckoned her as her head began to pound.
Her vision swirled as his words repeated endlessly in her head, she collapsed onto her knees as she heard some shuffling behind her. Both Kurapika and Leorio had stood to help the girl but were unable to enter the ring, some guards as begun to pull the female back as she failed to resist. She grew confused at her own actions as she found it difficult to concentrate.
"That's how Dad and I raised you, Kil. What in the world would you accomplish by becoming a hunter?" Illumi moved on, ignoring the female as Killua flinched.
"That's true... I don't want to become a hunter... but there is something I want." Killua fumbled around his words as Illumi frowned, "There isn't." He denied but Killua only furthered his declare.
"There is!" The boy hissed, clenching his fist as he refused to make eye contact with the male.
"Fine. Then please, indulge me. What could you possible want so badly." Illumi waved his hand as Killua frowned.
"I want... to be friends with Gon and..." He trailed off, eyeing the female who looked at him wearily, she seemed to be in immense pain they made eye contact. She winced, her head was pounding but she forced herself to retain consciousness. Killua was fighting so hard to stand up for himself, if she didn't intervene, that sparkle in his eye— that hope— it would disappear forever.
She forced her body to move as her head began to feel as if it was splitting in two. Her feet moved around haphazardly as she held her head.
"Didn't I tell you to get lost?" Illumi reaffirmed as the girl choked, her headache seemed to multiply as she felt herself loosing consciousness.
"I can't-..." She coughed, body began to dangerously sway as her vision blurred, "Killu-..." She couldn't finish as she fainted, the boy gasping in shock as he stared at the female.
"Kamine!" Several voices called out for the female as the young aspiring doctor quickly picked up the pale female in his arms.
"Leorio! What's wrong with her?!" Kurapika demanded as Leorio shook his head, "I'm not sure! She seems to be experiencing a severe migraine of sorts." Leorio explained as Killua shook in fear.
"What did you do to her?!" Killua snapped as Illumi seemed throughly surprised at the boy's retaliation, "You... get very sensitive around that toy of your's don't you." Illumi explained as Killua bit his lip to avoid agitating Illumi further, he didn't know what Illumi could've done to the female but he knew in his gut that he was the culprit of her fainting. If he wasn't careful with his words Illumi would only hurt her further. "I suppose that make sense, that toy was the first thing you ever owned, it's reasonable why you're so obsessed with it." Illumi explained as Leorio hissed at the man.
"Don't refer to Kamine like she's just a possession! She's a human being too!" Leorio hissed as Illumi ignored him.
"Killua, don't you think it's time for you to grow up and get rid of your safety blanket? It's been influenced by the outside world too much. You have no use fussing around with a broken toy, leave it behind and we'll get you a new one when you go back to the estate." Illumi explained as Killua winced in shock.
"I don't want another butler! Kamine is the only butler I'll ever need!" Killua hissed as Illumi sighed, "You don't want it, you don't want anything. You're just infatuated with your toy because it's the first toy you've ever been given."
"You're wrong! Kamine's not a toy..." Killua trailed off, "And I already told you what I wanted."
"I want... to be friends with Gon and Kamine!" Killua declared proudly as Illumi sighed, "That's preposterous, you can't be friends with a possession." Illumi explained as Killua winced.
"I know that already!" Killua frowned, "That's why, when I go back to the estate... I'll release Kamine from her contract then do whatever it takes for her to become friends with me!" The boy adamantly declared, "I'm so sick of killing people. All I want is to be a normal boy and have normal friends."
"That's impossible." Illumi interjected, "You aren't able to have any friends. You're only concern when you meet someone is whether or not you'll be able to kill them. That's how you were trained."
"If you end up staying with them, you'll just end up wondering whether or not you can kill them. You'll have the urge to see if you can kill them one day, and that's because you were born with the soul of a killer." Illumi determined for the boy as he felt his heart being gripped more and more by despair.
"Killua you idiot!" Leorio screamed from across the hall, snapping the boy out of his thoughts. "You honestly believe that you need to become friends with Gon?! You two were already friends to begin with! And I'm sure Kamine feels the same way!" Leorio bellowed as Killua flinched in shock.
"Oh. So Gon sees Killua as his friend... well that is quite problematic." Illumi hums in thought before snapping his fingers, "Oh. I'll just have to kill Gon!" He determined as he was almost instantly cut off by Kurapika and Hanzo, Leorio lingered nearby holding the unconscious female protectively in his arms.
"Oh this is no good... if I kill one of you I'll fail the exam. Oh... but I suppose that would also happen if I kill Gon." Illumi pondered for a moment before facing the chairman, "Oh right. If I pass the exam then I'll be able to kill everyone here without repercussions correct?" Illumi asked the old man who simply nodded, confirming his words. "Alright, so I'll just pass the exam then kill Gon."
"Did you get all that, Kil?" He turned to face his frightened younger brother, "If you want to save Gon, you'll have to fight me." Illumi stated as Killua shook like a leaf under his death glare.
"Don't move." Illumi ordered the male as he halting in his steps, "If you move then I'll assume the fight had begun, I'll also assume the fight has begun if my hand touches your face." Illumi's hand loomed menacingly over the boy as he continues, "If you want to save Gon, you'll have to fight me Kil... but you can't do it can you?" Illumi taunted the boy as he trembled in fear.
"There is only one way to stop me..."
"You know that don't you?"
Illumi's words were met with harsh retaliations, especially from a particular loud-mouthed spectator who urged Killua to fight the man who stood over him. But Leorio's pleas fell on deaf ears. Killua hand become entangled in his brother's manipulation, his own fear keeping him trapped inside.
He was nothing more than a young butterfly, trapped in his older brother's spiderweb. He had no means of escaping.
"I forfeit, Illumi. I've lost." He muttered out emotionlessly as his brother beamed in content, "That's a relief!" Illumi clapped his hands in joy as he placed a hand on Killua's head, "I was just lying about Gon by the way. That was just a little test, and now I have my answer."
"You don't have the right to make friends, nor do you need them." Illumi's cold hand washed away the hope in the young boys gaze as his eyesight blurred.
He didn't really care anymore. Illumi was right, Killua didn't deserve friends— otherwise he would've been able to fight against his brother to protect them.
Kamine's words rang in his head as his heart began to feel hollowed out.
"I guess I am a monster..."
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-* notes *-
#58 - Killua had said that Kamine feared some members of her family but the truth is the only one she genuinely feared was Illumi. Her admiration and respect for Silva and Zeno outweigh her fear of them, although she is still careful around them.
#59 - Illumi can't kill Kamine because if he does Killua will flip out and kill another member of the family as revenge. Instead, it is much more beneficial just to use her as a tool to manipulate Killua.
#60 - Kurapika knew Kamine was more complicated than simply not wanting to be friends with the Gon and the others. That's why he protected her.
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