Herb Cookie and Mala Sauce Cookie were pulling off the heist of a century. They were absolutely booking it, zooming out of the tree lot. Dark Choco Cookie was chasing them, yelling something neither of them could understand over their panting.
How did this begin?
Well, it was an average morning in Mansion Madeleine. There was chatter among the cookies waking up, many of them talking about the upcoming holidays.
More cookies were awake than usual, some helping Grand Madeleine Cookie hang the garland. Kids were parading around with bells in their hands, trying to sing carols, but only half of them knew the lyrics. Even Espresso was in the living room, asking Latte what the hell he was supposed to give Eclair for the teachers' gift exchange.
Black Raisin Cookie was making pancakes in the kitchen, and anyone who walked by could get themselves a plate. It was first come first served in that household.
Suddenly, the peace was ruined by Cocoa Cookie crashing in through the front door. The bells hanging by the doorknob rang in her presence. The room grew quiet.
"I looked everywhere and I couldn't find our tree. How are we supposed to have the perfect Christmas without a TREE?!" She looked distressed.
Grand Madeleine looked down from the ladder she was standing on, "Oh, we haven't told you what happened to our tree yet, have we?"
"Did Chili Pepper steal it again?"
Chili Pepper was walking by with a plate of pancakes topped with a healthy amount of hot sauce. She stopped, hand on one hip, "Hey, I did that last year, don't look at me!"
"That's why your stocking is full of coal this year," Cocoa growled.
"Ohh, that's why it's so rocky."
"Anyways," Grand Madeleine waved off Chili Pepper, "Mala Sauce lit the tree on fire by accident. It's a good thing the rest of the mansion was fine."
"Mala..." Cocoa had a dark look on her face. She got a little bit intense when it came to the winter holidays.
The information didn't become important until she was walking through the mansion later that day. She was on her way to Mint Choco's room to ask him if he wanted to go out for dinner, but on the way she passed by the boiler room.
Hot air blasted through the open door, as did the projecting voice of Mala Sauce, "Alright, it's time to go on a walk! Work up a good sweat!"
Cocoa remembered the tree incident and grabbed Mala on the back of the shirt, stopping her in her tracks, "Actually, I think you need to fix the problem you made."
It was more of a threat than a statement.
That's how Mala Sauce and Herb both got sent to go shopping for a new Christmas tree. Mala being there since she was the reason they needed to shop in the first place, and Herb to prevent her from burning down the whole place.
It was cold outside, and both cookies were wrapped up in their winter attire. Mala Sauce was wearing two pairs of gloves and five pairs of socks, she was shivering in her snow boots. Herb was wearing his usual sweater and beanie.
Together they went to the bus stop and waited to get picked up. Mala Sauce turned to Herb, "So where the hell do you buy a tree?"
He pulled out a map that was way too big to fit in the small front pocket of his sweater, but still somehow fit anyways, and gestured to a place Mala didn't even know existed, "A tree farm. Like this one."
She squinted at the map, "I ain't reading all of that."
Herb sighed and was about to give a rundown on everything , but the bus arrived .
The bus door opened to reveal Wildberry Cookie, who was sitting at the driver's seat with a deadpan expression.
Mala turned to enter the bus, hopping on the steps, "Out in the Dragon's Valley, we don't need maps since everything's right there!"
"Uh-huh," Herb also boarded the bus, his hand gliding along the safety rail as he shared a look with the driver.
The two of them picked their seat and Herb glanced at the map again, still unfolded to give a view of the city.
"We'll have to stop there if we want to get to the tree farm," He waved his hand at an area bordering the city.
Mala Sauce crossed her arms and looked outside the window, "I don't even know why we're going through all of this trouble for a tree anyways."
"Well we wouldn't have to if you didn't burn down the last one."
"I thought it was cold."
"You..." He stared at her incredulously, "You thought it was cold?"
"Aren't you like- part tree or something? You still feel cold." She pointed at the beanie he was wearing.
Herb readjusted the beanie, "Yeah, who doesn't?"
One of the leaves tucked into the brim got loose and floated down.
"Huh. I didn't know you did that," Mala observed.
Herb grabbed the leaf before it reached the ground, shoving it back in the beanie. He looked away, vaguely panicked. "Do what?"
"Shed your hair leaves."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," He shifted the beanie around again and a different leaf popped out, "You didn't see that."
"See what?" Mala reached an arm out and grabbed the beanie, "This?" She ripped it off in one fluid motion.
Leaves scattered everywhere. Both cookies screamed.
"Why would you do that!"
"You're BALD?!"
Herb yanked the beanie back and put it on his head, frantically grabbing leaves, "It's winter! I hate winter!"
Mala Sauce had enough context to put together the pieces herself.
Who knew Herb shed his leaves just like trees do?
The rest of the ride to the bus stop had Herb with his head in his hands and Mala wondering if she should comfort him or just let him have time to grieve for his hair.
Still, though, the two of them made it to the tree farm in one piece. They were finally ready to grab a new tree for the mansion.
Suddenly a voice asks them, "How can I help you today?"
It was Dark Choco Cookie, outfitted in a pretty standard winter getup, a nametag tacked on to one of the pockets of his jacket.
"Dark Choco? What are you doing here?" The last time Mala Sauce saw him was when he was out working an entirely different job, cooking up an 'all you can eat for five coins' buffet.
"I live in a one bedroom apartment with four other cookies, what do you think I'm doing?"
"Oh. Got it," If she had to share the boiler room with four cookies she'd want to move out too.
"Anyways, call me over if you need help or anything. So long as you don't steal a tree or kidnap a cookie, we're good."
Dark Choco walked away and left the others to it. A poor decision, really.
The two of them walked through the bunches of trees, tracking footprints through mud and sloshy snow that was melting.
Mala Sauce looked around. She was determined to find the perfect tree to make Herb feel better.
After a few minutes, she was about to give up when something caught her eye.
"Look!" She physically turned Herb around and pointed, "That one is super green and- uh, tree looking!"
The tree was indeed very tree looking. Decorated with bright lights and even a star on top.
"We won't have to decorate that one!"
Herb gasped, "Yes, that's perfect!"
"I know right! Quick, before anyone else decides they want it!" Mala Sauce ran off and grabbed the tree. The whole thing. She confirmed running off and out of the tree farm.
Herb followed after her, pretty sure that they were skipping a part of the whole tree buying scheme. Well, if he couldn't remember, it probably wasn't important.
Dark Choco, who was busy helping out another cookie, turned around and started chasing them at breakneck speeds, yelling out something neither of them could hear.
Oh, right. Buying a tree.
Herb kept running. They were too far into it now.
Mala ran back to where they came from at the bus stop and suddenly the bus arrived again, almost like Wildberry knew that they wanted to get back home.
The both of them, including the tree in tow, boarded the bus.
"Quick, can you get us back home?" Herb asked between pants.
"Is that one also here for the bus?" Wildberry pointed to Dark Choco, who was rapidly catching up.
"No, he's uh," Mala looked outside the bus windows to the flower shop on the other side of the street, "He's really excited to buy a bouquet of flowers. The shop will close soon."
Wildberry shrugged and closed the door, "Sit down or I'm not driving you."
"Oh, yeah." Mala yelped as she found a seat and put the tree down next to her. Herb sat in front.
The bus departed, barely cutting off Dark Choco in the process.
Mala cheered, hands up in the air as she slumped in her seat.
Herb stared off into the void, the crime they just committed finally sinking in. He'd be lying if he said he didn't have a blast. That was way more fun than it should've been.
All of the leaves had fallen out of his beanie while he was on the run, but by some stroke of luck there were still some littering the floor.
Did he take the floor leaves and pretend like they were his hair? Yes.
He leaned back in his chair with a groan, slightly turning his head to look at the tree they just stole, "How do you keep your hair so green all year?"
The tree responded, "Usually it just stays like this, I don't do anything to it."
"Oh, that's nice," He wasn't expecting a response, but it was unhelpful anyways.
"Wait, did that tree just talk?" Mala raised an eyebrow with a suspicious glare.
"Huh?"
"I could've sworn- nevermind, let's just get home."
Soon enough, the two find themselves at the front door of Mansion Madeleine, surprisingly well before curfew.
Mala Sauce opened the door wide, slamming it against the door stopper, "We got a tree!"
A cluster of children immediately stormed the entrance, and with them, a chatter of excitement and awe. There was a paused game of Smash Bros on the living room tv.
"It's about time," Cocoa huffed. There was a speaker on the counter next to her blasting seasonal music.
"Oh, be nice," Grand Madeleine elbowed her and escaped to the kitchen.
"Yeah. After all, now everything can go on without a hitch!" Mint Choco added cheerfully. He was wearing a Santa hat.
"I guess so," Cocoa's glare softened to a smile. The holiday schedule was back on track again.
"Herb and I spent a lot of time finding the perfect tree, so this better be worth it!" Mala started peeling off the copious layers that she was wearing. She only needed to wear two pairs of socks in the house, not five.
The kids stormed past her for a second time to resume playing their game.
Grand Madeleine returned with a cup and marched past Mala to the doorway again, "Would you like a cup of tea?"
"That would be wonderful, thank you!"
Herb glanced sideways at the tree. Mala Sauce turned around. Hell, Cocoa's Christmas music stopped.
Vampire, hung upside down from the lights in the living room, stared for a solid five seconds before saying something that no other cookie was brave enough to:
"It talks?"
"And what might your name be?" Grand Madeleine's head tilted with the question.
"Carol Cookie. I don't know how I got here, but I love how festive it is!"
Herb's eyes bugged out at his newfound moral dilemma, "We didn't just steal a tree, we kidnapped a whole cookie." He let out a distraught laugh.
Cocoa was stressed, how were they gonna find another new tree?
Grand Madeleine giggled, "I love it when we get new guests. You're welcome to stay here if you don't mind."
Mint Choco sighed, "I'll add her to the chores wheel."
The Christmas music continued again and Carol hummed while looking at the decor, "I don't think I'll mind at all."