July 7, 2014
"Don't be sad, Taylor," Karlie says, snuggling her face into Taylor's unbrushed blonde locks.
The early morning New York City is flooding Taylor's bedroom. Taylor had been extra clingy this morning when Karlie awoke to get ready to leave for Paris, not even leaving the long-legged model's side when she went into the bathroom to begin her morning routine including brushed her teeth and applying makeup.
"I know I shouldn't be, I know it is only a couple of days. But I'm still going to miss you so much," Taylor replies, her voice muffled by the shoulder Taylor has chosen to rest her face on.
"I'm going to miss you too, but you have amazing songs to record. I have to work and you have to work, then we will be back together in no time at all," Karlie assures her.
Taylor leans away and gives Karlie a small smile. "You're the only person I've ever been with who has said nice things about my music," Taylor says.
"You don't think Harry will say nice things?" Karlie asks.
"I don't know, I guess he probably will. But it's still different because I'm actually still dating you," Taylor replies.
"Which is why I completely expect for you to write the best songs of your entire career about me," Karlie says with a teasing smile.
"I'll try," Taylor replies with an eye roll.
Karlie laughs and kisses Taylor's temple. "Let me finish packing. Don't you need to get ready for work too?"
"Yeah, I'm going to the studio at nine," Taylor replies.
"Isn't this great? Usually I'm always the one who needs to get up early for the gym. I forgot you even had a job," Karlie teases as she walks towards the suitcases laid out on Taylor's bed.
"You realize you've only known me really during my off time right? I'm basically just starting up work again and I go pretty nonstop for a year and a half," Taylor replies. "I earn my vacation time," Taylor adds.
Taylor can't identify what emotion quickly flashes across Karlie's face, but before she can spend too much time thinking about it Karlie simply laughs it off.
"Okay, fair enough. So when is vacation time over?" Karlie asks as she folds a shirt and places it in her suitcase. Earlier this morning, Taylor hadn't been able to keep a smile from her face when she realized Karlie had only packed half of the clothing she would need for her trip when she was at her own apartment, because so many articles of her clothing had been left here at Taylor's place.
"I'll know when you get back. I need to set an album release date this week. It will most likely be in October. The single release will probably be late August or early September," Taylor replies.
"Wow. Sometimes I forget who you are," Karlie says with a smile.
"I thought I was normal?" Taylor asks with a smile as she climbs back onto the bed to sit beside the suitcases Karlie is busying herself with, throwing the word 'normal' back at Karlie after hearing it for months now.
"Not like that," Karlie replies, with an exaggerated groan. "I mean I forget you're, like, a musical genius. I've never even seen you hold a guitar!" Karlie explains.
"Oh yeah, I guess I didn't have any instruments at Victoria's Secret. I played the piano kind of at Rhode Island," Taylor replies.
"Oh, yeah, what a great time for me that was," Karlie replies sarcastically, thinking back to the haunted rendition of 'I Know Places' Taylor had intimately performed in front of the model, Josh, and Austin.
"Well, it worked out for the best," Taylor laughs, getting up from the bed and kissing Karlie's jaw before going to the bathroom to get ready for her day of work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you sure you have everything?" Taylor asks, as the pair lingers by Taylor's apartment door, awaiting for word that paparazzi have left the street below.
"For the third time, yes, Taylor, I'm sure I have everything," Karlie replies with a mildly amused smile.
"Okay, okay," Taylor replies. "I'm sorry about this," Taylor adds, sounding sheepish. They've been waiting for around fifteen minutes now, occasionally hugging and kissing, as greedy paparazzi wait on the street below. Taylor would prefer that candid shots of Karlie leaving her apartment at such an early hour with luggage weren't captured by their prying lenses.
"I told you, I'm fine with it. But if they aren't gone in another fifteen minutes or so I really need to go, otherwise I will miss my flight for sure," Karlie replies.
Karlie is quick to notice a flash of worry cross the singer's face. "I have been good about letting them always get their shot since I moved here. I hope when security tells them I won't be back from Rhode Island for a couple of hours they'll believe them," Taylor says, biting her lip.
"Taylor, it won't be a big deal if they see me leave the place. Maybe they won't even know who I am," Karlie replies.
"Yeah," Taylor says in noncommittal tone, obviously unswayed by Karlie's remark.
"Relax," Karlie says with a small smile, as she brings Taylor closer to her by pulling the strap of Taylor's shirt closer. "Did you decide to wear this just so I wouldn't want to leave even more?" Karlie laughs, very obviously looking downwards taking her girlfriend in.
"No, it's going to be really hot today," Taylor replies.
Karlie had expected to hear some amusement in Taylor's tone, but only heard hints of sadness. "Taylor, it's only a couple of days. I'm flying back on the tenth!" Karlie says, wrapping her arms tighter around the singer. "Stop being sad, you're going to make me sad," Karlie adds with a small laugh.
The only response Karlie gets is the feeling of Taylor nodding her head against the model's shoulder.
"Isn't your family coming up soon? Austin is coming back from his friend's house upstate today. You have to be in the studio today. You have lots to keep you busy," Karlie replies.
"Yeah," Taylor says monotonously, still resting her head against Karlie's shoulder.
"Why don't you go for a nice walk today? A summer day in the city, go out with Austin, do some shopping, I don't know. Try to have a nice day," Karlie says, trying to put some space between them in order to be face to face with her girlfriend.
Taylor grudgingly moves her head and Karlie stares into blue eyes riddled with sadness. "I know it's only a couple of days, but now I'm just starting to get busy again too. It's scary."
"We'll make it work. I was scared too in the bedroom earlier when I realized I've only really known you while you're on vacation for the most part. But we're going to be fine, Taylor. Don't worry about that, yet, Taylor. We still have the summer," Karlie assures her, squeezing both of the singer's hands in her own.
"Okay, you're right," Taylor replies with a small smile. "Karlie?"
"Mhm?" Karlie hums, as she plays with the necklace Taylor has hanging from her neck. "What is this? A unicorn?" Karlie laughs, examining the piece closer.
"Pay attention," Taylor says with a laugh, rolling her eyes, as she grasps both of the model's slender hands in her own. "I think I'm going to tell my parents about us when they get here."
Karlie's eyes widen in surprise as her mouth breaks into her largest signature smile. "Really?" Karlie smiles, wrapping her arms around Taylor's waist, pulling her tightly against her.
"Well, yeah. I need to tell them before I tell my publicist. I never want my family to come second to things like this, I don't think that's normal. And I really need to tell my publicist soon because-"
"Shhh," Karlie shushes before leaning in to give Taylor a kiss, further silencing the singer. Karlie pulls away, only a fraction of an inch so their noses are still touching. "This is a good thing. I'm really happy. You should be too," Karlie says softly, still smiling.
"I am happy with you," Taylor replies shyly, matching Karlie's volume.
Karlie lightly kisses Taylor's nose before leaning away. "I can't wait to see Kimby and Kariann's faces when I tell them," Karlie laughs.
"You'll wait until I tell my publicist right?" Taylor asks.
"Yes, Taylor," Karlie assures her.
"I'm sorry about all of this. Having to wait to tell your family, I know how close you are with them. And I ask you to wait as we wait for paparazzi to leave right now," Taylor says.
"It is really really hard to have to spend extra time with you when you're dressed like this, you're right," Karlie replies with a teasing smile as she begins to play with Taylor's necklace once more, but her hands obviously touching more of Taylor than they need to.
Just then, Taylor's ringtone sounds. She takes the phone out of her purse, doing her best to ignore Karlie's wandering hands as she answers the phone, her face slightly flushed. "Hello? .... Okay, thank you." Putting the phone back in her bag, Karlie sees sadness once more settle over Taylor's features. "They're gone. You can go now," Taylor announces sadly.
Karlie cups Taylor's face in her hands and kisses her forehead before meeting her mouth. They kiss goodbye, not being able to spend too much time doing so now that the coast is finally clear. "Just keep busy, okay? I'll be back in no time," Karlie assures her, hating to see Taylor's eyes so obviously worried.
Taylor nods her head. "When you come back do you want to go to Rhode Island again? Maybe with my family...we don't have to go again, but-"
"That sounds incredible, seriously," Karlie says, her heart fluttering at realizing just how different their relationship is about to be by the time she arrives back from Paris.
Maybe Taylor has the same realization, because Karlie is happy to see a small, yet genuinely happy, smile take over Taylor's features.
They embrace each other in a final hug of goodbye before parting ways, Karlie doing her best to keep her own pain at saying goodbye off of her face, as assurance to Taylor.
"I'll be back real soon."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.wsj.com/articles/for-taylor-swift-the-future-of-music-is-a-love-story-1404763219
Once boarding the plane, Karlie is surprised to find herself feeling quite sad at the idea of leaving New York City. Surprisingly enough, the traveling part of her job has always happened to be both her favorite and least favorite aspect of it. She has been able to experience so many unique and incredible cultures because of her travels and see sights she never thought she would get to see as a teenager, but she has always had feelings of homesickness and longing for people that she would much rather be without. However, a simple trip to Paris for a couple of days has never fazed her, not until now.
I guess it's a good thing, being with someone who I can miss so much even for a couple of days. Karlie never felt too much sadness at being apart from Josh for a few days.
The experienced traveller settles into her first class seat and begins emptying her lightly packed carry on bag of her long distance flight essentials. She opens her daily copy of the Wall Street Journal as other passengers board the plane. She laughs a bit to herself when she is face to face with the name of the girl she happens to be missing already.
"What?" Karlie mutters under her breath, surprised to find an article written by Taylor in front of her, in her favorite source of news.
Karlie reads the piece and is surprised by Taylor's elegance and intelligence, and is once more surprised to find herself reminded just who Taylor is. She is the international superstar musician Taylor Swift, not just her constantly-worrying cat-loving friend. I guess I understand why it's so hard to convince her she's totally normal. Karlie thinks with a smile.
Karlie does her best to hide her large smile as she finishes reading the piece alone. She's unable to do so and is sure people must be wondering what is causing her to smile so much over the Wall Street Journal, but Taylor finished her piece saying she'd also like to have a really nice garden. Karlie can't help but think of the love Taylor has for Karlie's own flower covered apartment gate, and the flowers she has managed to grow on her apartment's balcony.
Quickly, before Karlie and the other passengers are instructed to turn off all electronics, Karlie pulls out her iPhone and takes a quick picture of the article she has in front of her.
I can't seem to get away from you! Very nice op-ed! I will call you later.
Karlie sends a quick and final text message to Taylor once attaching the picture she has taken before the plane takes off for Paris.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I think I want the bridge to be a lot darker. Maybe re-record the vocals for that part, I can go lower with my note," Taylor says, as she listens to the playback of a song she has recorded.
"What are you going for here?" Max Martin asks, as he pauses the recording.
"I want that part to be, like, ominous. It's sort of the end of the story kind of, 'we both went mad.' It doesn't sound like a happy ending and I want it to be sort of unsettling and surprising for the listener, you know?" Taylor says, standing up to head back into the booth before scratching out some lyrics and re-writing something on her piece of paper. "Actually, I think I want to change the first verse too," Taylor says absentmindedly, staring at what she has written.
"Sort of cutting this one close, aren't we? When's the release?" Shellback laughs.
"Let's not talk about it," Taylor replies, heading back into the booth with her piece of paper, still studying the lyrics to a song she has yet to figure out the ending to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How was your friend's house?" Taylor asks, once arriving back to her apartment and finding Austin already waiting.
"It was good. We just hung out," Austin replies. "How was recording?" Austin asks.
"It was good. We got one song completely finished. I really like how it came out," Taylor replies, taking a seat beside her brother on the couch. She feels exhaustion setting in, waking up earlier than needed to see Karlie off finally catching up to her.
The feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment she had been feeling after recording a song whose future she had been unsure of only a couple of weeks ago fade, as she realizes how painfully empty her apartment feels due to Karlie's absence.
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http://tswiftdaily.com/tagged/july+7+2014/
"Are you alright?" Austin asks, as they walk side by side through the city streets.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired," Taylor replies. She has been able to muster even a hint of a smile on their walk. She is sure the paparazzi will be frustrated with her once seeing their lack luster candid shots that they've captured. She will have to be all smiles for them tomorrow, to keep them happy with her, but today she simply can't even force herself to smile. Karlie's absence is weighing on her surprisingly heavy.
"It was a pretty crazy weekend," Austin agrees. "I could go for a nap."
Taylor wouldn't mind napping the next four days completely away.
"When do you want me to fly you back out to Nashville?" Taylor asks. "Because I was thinking maybe when Mom and Dad get here we could spend a day in the city and then go to Rhode Island."
"Yeah, that sounds good. I can just fly back with Dad then," Austin replies.
A hint of a smile teases Taylor's lips as she does her best to focus on Karlie's return to the states and of their trip to Rhode Island.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Karlie gets off the plane and turns on her iPhone, she isn't surprised by the amount of text messages she has from Cara Delevingne. She doesn't even have to open them to know that they are all messages insisting that Karlie rushes to meet up with her and other friends the moment she lands. However, she is surprised to find a text message from Josh.
She opens the message, shocked that he has texted her so soon after their last meeting.
Hi Karlie. Could you call me when you get this? It's just business related, I promise.
Karlie's curiosity only increases seeing the message. She thinks of the projects of hers that Josh has invested in. As selfish as it is, Karlie feels a prickle of fear that he may no longer provide the financial security that some of her projects need, especially Karlie's Kookies.
Karlie is constantly consumed with thoughts of Josh and what he could possibly be calling about as she deals with all of her airport procedures and travel to her hotel.
A couple hours later, when finally arriving to her hotel room, Karlie plops onto her bed and immediately dials Josh's number.
"Hi, Karlie," Josh answers after a few rings.
Karlie is caught off guard by his tone of voice. It is confident and professional. This really was a business call.
"Hey, Josh, how are you?" Karlie asks, hating the formality of the call. It feels unnatural to her.
"I'm fine. I'm calling because I actually have a question about Taylor Swift. You don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable," Josh replies. Karlie's heart stops and her mouth becomes dry. Did the cat sticker stuck to the back of her iPhone really reveal all that much? Josh interprets Karlie's pause as a sign to continue speaking. "I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but Taylor contributed an op-ed piece to today's Wall Street Journal. Today at a board meeting it was brought up that she spoke about the monetary value that music has, and she even mentioned streaming in passing. We're a bit nervous about the...randomness of the piece. Especially because we have such a large share of revenue invested in Spotify. She obviously is a huge influence in the music industry, and therefore streaming," Josh says. He pauses waiting for a response from Karlie.
"Um, right," Karlie says, unsure of what she is expected to say, still caught off guard by the professionalism of the conversation. She was seeing a side of Josh she never has before, he was sleek and confident. Well spoken and in command of the conversation. This was a very different version of the man who often nervously lost his hand in his hair when paying Karlie mild mannered compliments in the past.
"I'm basically asking you as a friend, to possibly do me the favor of telling me if Taylor has ever mentioned pulling her music from streaming services," Josh asks. At the mention of friendship and favors, his voice changes slightly, more reminiscent of the Josh she is familiar with.
Karlie breathes a sigh of relief and feels much more at ease, both because the question about Taylor isn't what she had thought it was going to be and because Josh seems less like a stranger.
"No, I genuinely have no idea. We really don't talk about business at all. I only know she's working on a new album," Karlie replies easily.
"Well, alright. I'm sure we'll know soon enough. I just wanted to be a bit more prepared in case," Josh replies.
"Well, I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I wouldn't know anything about that," Karlie replies.
"You probably wouldn't have told me anyway," Josh says with a laugh, sounding much more like himself.
"Why do you say that?" Karlie asks.
"You're loyal to her," Josh replies.
Karlie is surprised by the statement. She isn't sure what he means by it.
"Well, you're both by friends. I help out my friends when I can," Karlie replies slowly.
"Yeah, I know. Well, that's about it. Um.. I have to get going though, I hope everything is well," Josh says.
"Yeah, you too," Karlie replies.
They exchange quick goodbyes and hang up the phone. Karlie can't spend too much time questioning the oddness of the conversation before her phone is ringing once more with an incoming call from Cara.
Karlie smiles before answering it, knowing that her entire evening in Paris has most likely already been planned out by the model.
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http://tswiftdaily.com/tagged/july-8-2014
July 8, 2014
Taylor was just having one of those days today. Her meeting with her label had once again left her with underlying feelings of annoyance, even anger. Even now, after giving her the go ahead to record additional songs for the album release, they had inquired about possible country songs. She wasn't sure just how many more times she was going to be able to calmly explain to people why her music's new direction wasn't going to be stopped by men who have nothing to do with its creation.
But a release date for both the new single and album have been set. Now she just needed to figure out which of her songs would be the single.
In the past, the setting of these dates had always exhilarated Taylor. They made everything much more official, much more real. But today she was missing Karlie, and today setting these dates was a reminder that she may have to get used to missing Karlie much more often. Karlie's schedule was difficult enough as is, and now Taylor was going to have to account for her own once more busy schedule.
When she left the meeting, her mood had a chance of being uplifted at seeing two missed calls from Karlie and one voicemail, but once listening to the voicemail which included both the obviously tipsy Karlie and Cara, she unfortunately felt needless stabs of jealousy.
I know I shouldn't feel jealous.
Maybe it was just Taylor's sour mood, but she couldn't help but harbor feelings of frustration when she calls Karlie back and is met with a pre-recorded message instructing her to leave a voicemail.
Taylor hangs up with a sigh. Karlie was with Cara right now, somewhere loud, by the sounds of it, obviously drinking. Don't be jealous. Cara is my friend, and she's Karlie's too. That's all.
The idea of going back to her apartment now for the night seems like the worst option imaginable. Somehow, her own apartment seems incomplete without Karlie's presence. She isn't sure just how come she misses Karlie so much, it is only a couple of days after all, but the idea that being apart will only become more common is beginning to feel like a looming and dangerous threat.
Taylor takes out her phone and dials Austin as she walks out of the business building with her security.
"Hey, do you want to meet me for dinner downtown?" Taylor asks.
"Uugghhhh," Austin groans.
"What if we come pick you up. Do you want to go out for dinner?" Taylor asks, doing her best not to sound annoyed by her younger brother, who is totally satisfied by sitting in Taylor's apartment watching movies.
"Uuugggghhhhh," Austin groans, louder and longer.
Taylor hangs up the phone with a snap. Austin could be both her best friend and annoying little brother.
She thinks for a moment about who to call next. She isn't sure if she should be embarrassed by the fact that for the most part, Karlie is usually her only option to call in the city. As if I need another reason to wish she was here.
Just as Taylor is about to call up Lena Dunham she realizes she is in L.A.
Taylor sighs. The idea of going home for the rest of the day now still seems like a bad idea. Karlie had told her to keep busy, and she knew she would spend the night missing Karlie in her apartment.
Taylor turns to her two security guards. "Would you like to go get dinner with me? It's on me," Taylor says with a smile.
Although obviously surprised by the offer, they happily agree to dine with their employer.
They have an uneventful and slightly awkward dinner, but Taylor is grateful nonetheless for some company outside of her apartment.
Once returning home she spots paparazzi awaiting her return, and once more she doesn't have the ability to muster up much of a smile for them.
I can't believe I miss her this much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you make me watch that movie I really don't think I can forgive you," Taylor says drily, as her and Austin sit side by side on the couch in search of something to watch.
"If you think I'm watching 'Love Actually' again I can't tell you how wrong you are," Austin replies just as drily.
Right when Taylor is about to crack an amused smile, her phone sounds. Quickly reaching the phone, expecting to see Karlie's contact name on the screen, Taylor's stomach drops seeing her publicist, Tree Paine, calling instead.
If there is one thing Taylor has learned in her years of being in the spotlight, it is that late night phone calls from a publicist are never good.
"I need to take this," Taylor mumbles, standing up and walking away.
"Who is it?" Austin asks.
"Tree," Taylor replies, walking towards her kitchen, legs feeling like lead.
Her brother is silent in response. Even Austin knows that this phone call most likely can't be good.
"Hello?" Taylor answers on the last ring, once safely alone in her kitchen. Her heart is racing and her legs feel heavy. She roughly drags one of her kitchen stools towards her to sit down as her hands shake. How'd we get caught? We've barely been seen together.
"Sorry to call you now. What time is it anyway? Like nine. Alright, Taylor, I got a quick yes or no question for you and that's all I need from you," Tree rattles off. If circumstances had been different Taylor would have smiled hearing Tree like this on the other end. Taylor hired her because she was amazing at her job, cut throat even, but she was also incredibly friendly and likable, even ditzy at times.
"What is it?" Taylor asks, her voice raspy.
"You're not dating anybody, right? Because if you were dating somebody you would obviously inform me immediately right?" Tree asks, sounding bored.
Taylor holds her breath, not being able to find her voice to begin explaining to Tree her and Karlie's complicated story.
"Well, I know this story is complete bullshit. But I just got to ask you before I deny it. You don't have anything going on with...hold on let me get the name..." Tree mumbles, and Taylor can hear her flipping through paperwork on speaker phone.
Karlie Kloss. How does she not remember her name? She knows Karlie. "Tree, I-"
"Kenny Sanders. Here it is! Yeah, Kenny Sanders? BMX guy? The Daily Mail is reporting you've been dating all year, otherwise I wouldn't even deny it, but it's a big enough news site where I figure I probably should," Tree replies.
"Kenny Sanders?" Taylor asks in complete disbelief, her painfully racing heart beginning to slow. Not Karlie? I never thought I would be happy about being linked with a complete stranger.
"Yeah, that's what I figured. So that's a denial from you, right?" Tree asks, once more sounding bored.
"I don't even know who that is, so yeah, we're not dating," Taylor mumbles. "The Daily Mail? Are you serious?" Taylor asks, sounding helpless. Another false reason for the public to make fun of me for being boy crazy. At least I don't have any award shows coming up.
"Don't worry, I just caught it. It hasn't been posted for more than an hour. They're great at correcting their false information. In another hour it will be totally fixed," Tree assures her, all business.
"Doesn't matter. It's already out there. People are still going to add him to my list of apparent exes," Taylor mumbles.
"Well, we're going to fix that. That's why you hired me. Don't worry about it for a second," Tree says confidently.
"Thank you," Taylor sighs. She hired Tree when things were rough, and once this new era begins she's hoping to see some of the magic Tree has promised her.
"Alright, well let me go take care of this. Tomorrow why don't we plan a meeting to discuss some things for the new album. You'll have to email me your musical schedule in terms of release dates," Tree replies.
"Okay, I'll do that tonight. And I'll call you tomorrow to set something up," Taylor says.
They say their goodbyes, and once hanging up Taylor breathes a sigh of relief as she wipes away at potential tears that had been forming. Her heart has slowed from it's racing pace, but Taylor is still painfully aware of her slightly elevated pulse. Her hands and legs are shaking as she sits on her stool, and her stomach is still in knots.
What would have happened if the name she had was Karlie's instead?
The thought alone is enough to make Taylor's heart rate to pick up again.
And just when I thought things were settling down with the media, I'm sure I'm going to be made fun of all over again because of some guy I don't even know.
Taylor rests her head in her hands, thinking of Karlie telling her to take deep breaths only a couple of days ago. She inhales deeply, willing herself to calm down, especially since Austin is only one room away. Despite no mention of Karlie even being brought up, Taylor can't help but feel as though she has just dodged a major bullet. Mere moments ago, she thought her life was about to change forever, possibly even for the worse. It only reminds Taylor just how urgent it is to tell Tree about her and Karlie sooner rather than later.
Well, first things first. Taylor sighs as she pulls out her cell phone, realizing now that she is dating someone she actually has to correct this rumor personally. How should I tell her it isn't true without making it seem like I'm worried about it?
Even though a BMX biker is so much cooler than you, you know I'm not dating one, right? The Kenny Sanders rumor isn't true. I'm sure you already know that though.
Once Taylor has sent the text message to the surely sleeping model on the other side of the world, Taylor takes one more deep breath before returning to Austin, readying herself to explain to yet another person in her life that is, in fact, not dating a complete stranger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the early morning hours of the night, Taylor is sitting up in her bed, mindlessly surfing the web and her different social media apps. As predicted, much of her night was spent thinking of Karlie, as her and Austin watched movies.
Surprisingly enough, based on Taylor's own research on the web, Tree was doing a good job so far, keeping a lid on the rumors. Very few websites were claiming that her and Kenny were dating, Tree got to the rumor fast. However, many websites were publishing stories on the denial alone. "Taylor Swift not dating Kenny Sanders" still had the words 'Taylor Swift' and 'dating' together, so of course the articles would accrue thousands of clicks over the course of the next couple of days.
Maybe other celebrities were able to ignore or laugh off such false rumors, and sure there were many types of rumors Taylor could laugh off, but when it came to dating rumors Taylor just didn't have that ability. She has been ridiculed and hated for false dating rumors alone, there was no reason to laugh off these types of rumors. Taylor has always been sensitive, and she felt as though she was just waiting for this Kenny Sanders rumor to set off the illusion of calm she has had for the last couple of months when it came to the media and the public's opinion of her.
Just when Taylor decides she had better try and get some sleep as she has to wake up early for yet another recording session, she receives a text message from Karlie.
Are you awake?
Taylor smiles and quickly calls her back.
"Hey, you," Karlie answers, and Taylor recognizes Karlie's morning voice.
"Did you just wake up?" Taylor asks.
"Yup, still in bed," Karlie yawns. "Give me a break, I'm six hours ahead of you. It's not even 8 AM yet," Karlie says, tired yet defensive. "Can you explain the text I just woke up to?"
Taylor sighs. "The Daily Mail was saying that I have been dating Kenny Sanders this year. And, well, I obviously haven't."
"How dare you not tell me that I'm the other woman," Karlie replies dramatically.
"Karlie, this is serious," Taylor says.
"Oh, no it isn't! Don't worry about it, Taylor, I have never even heard of him before. It's not true, as long as you know the truth it's okay," Karlie says, sounding much more awake than before, perhaps sensing Taylor's stress.
"I've gotten hate before because of false stories," Taylor replies.
"Well, let them hate. Just shake it off, you can't control what other people think or say about you, so don't even worry about it. It's not worth it," Karlie says.
"You said that to me after the Oscars party in February," Taylor comments.
"Said what to you?" Karlie asks, sounding confused.
"After I saw Harry and I got a little emotional about everything. You told me to shake it off," Taylor replies.
"And you know what else? I told you to close the laptop the next day when you were googling yourself. Is your laptop open right now?" Karlie asks.
Taylor smiles at the question, staring at her open laptop now with 'Kenny Sanders' typed into the Google search bar.
"Taylor Alison Swift, close the laptop immediately," Karlie says, feigning sternness.
Taylor genuinely laughs and closes the laptop, surprised to hear the sound of her own laughter in her room. After the day she had today it seems like an unlikely noise to come from her. "How'd you know?" Taylor asks.
"Because I know you and you worry about everything," Karlie says simply with a yawn. "No big deal, okay?"
"Okay," Taylor replies, doing her best to push all thoughts of the newest false rumor aside.
"I wish I didn't see your text message. I would have kept pressing snooze for, like, another half hour," Karlie says, yawning once more.
"I'm surprised you're awake so early, sounds like you had fun last night," Taylor says with a smile, but really just wanting to have details of her night out with Cara, remembering the drunken voicemail she had received.
"Yeah, I wish I had a little less fun now," Karlie says with a laugh. "Cara dragged all of us out, but it was fun. I'm sure the makeup team will have a tough job with all of us today," Karlie adds.
"Who was there?" Taylor asks.
"A bunch of models for this big Vogue shoot. Joan Smalls was there, she was at the Met Gala and your apartment that night. Do you know Edie Campbell?" Karlie asks.
"Um.. I don't know, the name sounds familiar. I meet a lot of people in passing," Taylor replies.
"Yeah, she was with us. The rest of the girls I don't think you'd know, I'm not too close with them. Cara is trying to convince Jourdan to make the trip to Paris tonight because Kendall will be here tonight too. Very eventful," Karlie says.
"Well, I'm glad you're having fun," Taylor replies, doing her best to keep the sadness she has been feeling from her voice.
"I still miss you so much though," Karlie says. "Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone anything, but I can't stop talking about you once I start drinking," Karlie laughs.
"Do you really?" Taylor laughs, her heart warmed at the reveal that Karlie is possibly thinking about her just as often as Taylor is thinking of her.
"Oh yeah, it was real great. So how is everything in New York? Besides your secret love affair with Mr. Sanders, of course" Karlie asks, teasing at the end.
"It's good. Austin is here, but he's pretty much over me now so we didn't have a very eventful night," Taylor says with a laugh.
"Kimby and Kariann are all over me the first couple of days when I go home and then they completely ignore me," Karlie laughs. "Younger siblings are over us."
"The novelty wears off, I guess," Taylor replies. She has always liked hearing about Karlie's family. One thing they have in common is just how important family is to each of them.
"I guess so. So how have you been? How was your day?" Karlie asks.
"I... Today sucked. Karlie, I really miss you," Taylor replies. For a second, she had thought about assuring her friend that all has been well, but knew the model would see right through it.
"Taylor, it's only three more days. I really miss you too but it's not long at all. We've been apart for longer before," Karlie says soothingly.
"I know it isn't long but...it's our first time really apart since we have been officially together. And being in different time zones just make it so much worse. I'm just scared for when I really have to start working because we're going to be apart more and more," Taylor replies quickly, the words coming out fast.
"Let's just take things one trip at a time, okay? I'm back with you in three days. That's all we need to focus on. We'll deal with everything else as it comes, together," Karlie assures her.
"Okay, you're right," Taylor replies. "So I talked to my parents and Austin. They all said they'd like to go to Rhode Island. I'm going to tell all of them about us when my parents get here on Thursday. And then Friday night you'll be back? And we'll go to Rhode Island?"
"Yeah, that sounds perfect!" Karlie says enthusiastically. "Are you nervous to tell them?" Karlie asks.
"I haven't really thought about it yet," Taylor replies. She's surprised when she realizes she has practically forgotten that this announcement will be a much bigger deal in comparison to the times she has told her family about a new boyfriend. Karlie is a much more unexpected significant other. "I know they'll be supportive. I don't think I'm nervous."
"That's good," Karlie replies, and Taylor can all but hear her smile through the phone. "Taylor? I can start telling people I broke up with Josh, right? I felt so weird last night about people asking me how we were. I didn't say anything because I figured I should ask you, but I just feel strange about my family and friends not even knowing we aren't together anymore."
"Um..." Taylor begins. I wish I could ask Tree what to do. Taylor wasn't necessarily sure what Tree would say, but Taylor figures that if she wants to keep a relationship with Karlie hidden, it might be helpful if Karlie isn't known to be single. "Can you...wait, maybe? I just don't know what my publicist would say," Taylor replies unsteadily.
"Well...what about only my close friends? Like Jourdan. And my family," Karlie asks, sounding unsure. She was obviously expecting Taylor to give a different answer. "I think it might be a lot if I tell them all at once that Josh and I are broken up and I'm also dating you. Can't I just tell them we've broken up?" Karlie asks.
Taylor shuts her eyes and furrows her brow, glad that Karlie isn't in her bedroom to see her difficulty with this. After her scare with Tree earlier today, she feels the need to be extra cautious. "Just...please tell as few people as you can for now. And nothing about us," Taylor replies. She wishes she could just tell the younger girl not to talk to anybody about anything, but she figures that might be too demanding.
"Okay," Karlie replies. Taylor hates that she can hear sounds of mild disappointment in her voice, especially because Taylor feels as though she is already pushing her comfort zone.
"I told you it would be complicated," Taylor replies. "I'm sorry."
"No! It's okay! It's going to be so much better once we start telling people, and that's happening really soon," Karlie replies.
"I just...I don't know," Taylor says, quickly deciding against continuing speaking when she is surprised to feel her throat tighten and eyes begin to slightly burn.
"What's the matter, baby? It's okay, really. I'm fine with everything," Karlie assures her, immediately noticing Taylor's shift in mood.
"It's nothing, I just had a bad day. I'm alright," Taylor replies, embarrassed to find herself becoming emotional.
"What happened today?" Karlie asks, sounding worried.
"I don't know...it sounds stupid. Just between missing you, and having a business meeting with people who still are doubting what I'm doing, and the Kenny Sanders thing, and I guess I'm just stressed out about my publicist calling. I thought for sure it was going to be about you," Taylor replies. "It's stupid. None of it is a big deal, I shouldn't be complaining."
"You're allowed to complain. You're under more stress than anyone I know," Karlie replies. "I'm sorry that you had a bad day today, Taylor. But you really don't need to worry about any of that stuff, okay? Just get through the week and we'll have an amazing weekend."
"You're right," Taylor replies.
"If you're ever having a bad day just send me a text. I can always sneak away for a couple minutes from something to give you a call. I know the time zones suck, but I'm still only a phone call away," Karlie says.
Taylor smiles and wishes more than anything that she was with Karlie right now. It was becoming painful to be without her.
"Okay. I'm fine, I was just having an off day," Taylor replies.
"You had a lot going on," Karlie agrees. "I hate to do this, but I need to get ready for work. You should go to sleep, Taylor."
"I know, I have to get up early," Taylor sighs.
"I'll talk to you later?" Karlie asks.
They make plans of a later phone call before hanging up the phone.
Taylor is glad to have spoken to Karlie, even briefly, before going to bed. She is sure she wouldn't have been able to fall asleep so soon if she hadn't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 9, 2014
"I can't believe you dyed your hair blonde without telling me! I thought we were friends!" Jourdan exclaims, twirling a lock of Karlie's newly dyed hair in her hand.
"I just did it today!" Karlie assures her laughing.
"And how is Joshua going to feel about this hair? Does he know?" Jourdan asks. Her dark arms are wrapped tightly around Karlie as they sit side by side on the couch, as Cara returns with drinks from the bar. Jourdan has been inseparable from Karlie all night, it being so long since they last spent time together.
"Oh...actually..." Karlie begins, glancing at Cara who sits opposite from them on the couch. Cara's lips show a playful smile, her blue eyes shining with anticipation. She knows she is about to witness Karlie slowly but surely set the stage to eventually tell Jourdan about Taylor. "We broke up, Jourdan."
"Wait, what?" Jourdan says very quickly, her arms becoming tense around Karlie. Her forehead is wrinkled and her lips are slightly parted, but her eyes are worried as they analyze Karlie's face for hurt.
"I broke up with him. I just...yeah," Karlie replies, looking away from Jourdan's probing face to Cara's. She realizes that was a bad idea when she sees Cara's very obviously exaggerated surprised face, her eyes extra wide and both hands on her cheeks, her mouth a large, gaping and exaggerated 'O.'
"Whaaaaat?" Cara gasps, completely playful in her response.
Jourdan quickly looks to Cara. "You knew?" Jourdan asks, her tone almost accusatory.
Cara's ridiculous face is wiped clear, realizing that she has pushed the boundary a bit too far. "Um..."
"Did she know?" Jourdan asks, looking back to Karlie.
"No," Karlie says quickly, flashing a look of warning in Cara's direction. I don't want her to think Cara is someone who can be questioned for more information.
"I'm so... Well, I mean, explain it to me? Give me details, I'm so confused. Why'd you break up with him?" Jourdan asks.
"I just...I wasn't happy anymore. I mean I was, because obviously Josh is great, but..." Karlie struggles explaining the reasons behind the breakup, without revealing her and Taylor's secret. "I realized I started thinking of him more as like...a friend. I just thought I should feel more when being with someone I'm dating," Karlie finishes. She keeps her stare trained at Jourdan's face, knowing that Cara is drilling a hole into her head with a focused gaze.
"You didn't talk to me about any of this," Jourdan replies, still looking thoroughly confused.
"I know, I've just been-"
"Did she talk to you about any of this?" Jourdan asks, quickly turning her head to Cara.
"No, she has Taylor now, Jourdan," Cara replies. Karlie can see that Cara has a daring yet playful smile on her face, purposely making Karlie feel uncomfortable.
"Yeah, I guess so," Jourdan replies sounding sullen, unwrapping her arms from Karlie.
"Wait? What? Jourdan what's the matter?" Karlie asks, surprised by the reaction.
"Karlie, you're my best friend. How did I not know you were going to break up with Josh? When did you do it?" Jourdan asks.
"The last week of June," Karlie mutters, realizing now that she has been shutting people out of her life.
"Are you serious?!" Jourdan exclaims. Cara quickly gets up from her chair across from the pair and sits on Jourdan's other side. "You didn't think of telling me, Karlie? Seriously? I tell you everything! We used to talk on the phone everyday!"
"Jourdan, you're right. You are. I'm so sorry, you're my best friend too-"
"Are you sure about that?" Jourdan asks, arching an eyebrow.
"Jourdan! Yes, you're the first friend I made here. Riley's my godson, you're like my sister!" Karlie assures her. "I don't know what I've been thinking, I've had so much going on, Jourdan. I should have confided in you, I know I've been distant." I just want to tell her everything.
"Well you've been confiding in someone. Every time I talk to you I swear you say you just got back from seeing Taylor or are going to see her. Have I seriously just been replaced?" Jourdan asks, her voice laced with hurt. "I didn't even think it was possible for us to grow apart, I thought it was all in my head."
"Jourdan, I can't even compare you and Taylor together. I promise, it's so different," Karlie assures her. She doesn't even know how different.
"Why? Is she just on such a higher pedestal than me we can't be compared?" Jourdan asks.
"No, Jourdan-"
"Jourdan, she obviously can't compare you to Taylor. Look at us, we are it. We're 'Double D's' and KK, Delevingne, Dunn, and Karlie Kloss. Who even is Taylor Swift?" Cara interrupts, coming to Karlie's rescue.
"Jourdan, I've sucked the past couple of months but I've been trying to deal with Josh and...everything else, but seriously. I love you, we didn't grow apart. I know I can tell you everything. I can't replace you with anyone," Karlie replies.
"Well...you're okay? You're not sad or anything?" Jourdan asks hesitantly.
"No, I'm so happy Jourdan" Karlie says with a smile. "I'm sorry about everything," Karlie adds, embracing her friend in a tight hug which Cara ends up joining in on.
I'll get to tell her everything really soon. We'll be fine and go back to normal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Karlie Kloss, my savior," Cara says, putting even more of her weight on Karlie as they walk down the hallway of the hotel.
"Okay, Cara, good luck waking up in the morning," Karlie answers, shaking her head at the shorter girl as she stumbles slightly.
"But, Karlie, you got to be good to Jourdan," Cara replies.
"I know, Cara, you know why I haven't been able to keep her in the loop with things," Karlie replies, once figuring out what Cara has said with slurred words.
"Jourdan is hurt," Cara says simply.
"I know she is, but she's, like, jealous of Taylor and you know that how I feel about each of them is completely different," Karlie replies.
"Jourdan doesn't know that," Cara says, as she searches her pockets for her hotel room key once stopping at the door. "Hmmmmm.."
"You've got to be kidding me," Karlie mumbles, watching Cara search for a key. "I'm too tired for this, Cara. Did you leave it at the bar?"
"Pat me down, Kloss, I have no idea," Cara replies, raising her arms up, giving up searching for the key herself.
Karlie quickly searches through the bag Cara is holding. "Are you sure it isn't in your pockets?" Karlie asks.
"Don't think so."
Karlie rolls her eyes. "Come on then. My room is a floor above," Karlie says, grabbing Cara's arm and leading her the right way.
"But seriously, Karlie. Jourdan thinks you're dropping her," Cara says as they begin walking once more.
"Cara you know I'm not. I'll be able to explain everything to her really soon. Has she mentioned that before tonight?" Karlie asks.
"Are you sure about that? You sure you're going to be able to explain everything?" Cara asks, ignoring the last part of what Karlie has said.
"Yes, Cara. We're figuring all of that stuff now. When I get back home we're figuring it all out," Karlie replies.
"I hope so. Don't let someone you're dating get in between you and your friends," Cara says.
"Cara, I promise, I'm going to fix everything," Karlie assures her, pausing in front of her hotel room door with her friend as she searches for her own key.
"The more secrets you keep from people, the further apart you're going to grow from them. If you keep that secret from everyone, who are you really close to?" Cara asks, walking into the hotel room before Karlie once the door swings open.
"Cara, I'm talking, like, I am days away from telling everyone. Believe me, I know, I've never kept anything from my sisters before. And definitely not Jourdan or Derek," Karlie replies. "Has Jourdan been talking about me? Where did all of this come from?" Karlie asks.
Cara dramatically collapses onto Karlie's bed. "Goodnight, Karlie Kloss."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 10, 2014
"Hot. Look at this," Austin says with a mysterious smile, handing his phone to Taylor. They're sitting by each other at Taylor's kitchen table, as Andrea and Scott Swift prepare dinner for their kids.
When Taylor takes the phone her eyes widen, watching Karlie's snapchat story. Karlie's smile is hidden behind Cara's body, who is sleeping on her side. Karlie has reached an arm over her friend to record her asleep and snoring. Only Karlie's green and incredibly amused eyes are visible, but Taylor can tell just by the looks of them that she's smiling.
"Shut up, Austin," Taylor snaps, thrusting the phone back at him. It clatters to the floor as Austin wasn't prepared for the amount of force the phone was going to have.
"Okay, that is definitely the last time I try to get you mad over Karlie," Austin mutters darkly, wiping at his screen. "You're lucky this didn't crack. You realize I'm just joking, right? I am always just kidding, I just do it to get you mad."
"Cool," Taylor replies coldly, gritting her teeth together tightly. They were in bed together this morning. I don't care if they're just friends. I don't like that.
Taylor remains lost in her own thoughts, consumed with coming up with various scenarios of Karlie and Cara spending time together the past couple of days, and doesn't even realize dinner has begun until Andrea asks Taylor if she's hungry.
Taylor realizes she is surrounded by her family eating dinner and begins to help herself to the various plates set on the table, but her hands have begun to shake.
Okay this is it. This is the dinner. I have to tell them.
Taylor is surprised to find her hands to be shaking, and she sets down her silverware to wipe her clammy palms on her shirt before beginning to eat. They're not going to care. They're going to be supportive. Just tell them.
For some reason, Taylor doesn't even know how to begin to get the words out.
"Why is your face so red?" Austin asks.
"It's not red," Taylor replies, her voice still cold when directed towards Austin. Her brother simply shrugs his shoulders, not exactly happy with his sister either.
"Yes it is, honey, are you feeling okay?" Andrea asks.
"Yes, Mom, I'm fine," Taylor mutters, studying her plate of food intently to keep her blushed cheeks out of view.
Okay, after this bite of food I'll tell them.
....
Okay, once Austin and Dad stop talking I'll tell them.
....
Okay, once dessert is served I'll tell them.
....
When dessert is finished I'll tell them.
....
I can just tell them later tonight after we watch a movie, it's fine.
"Taylor, you've been quiet tonight," Scott says, as the family begins standing up from the table, all their plates clear.
"Have I been?" Taylor asks, playing dumb.
"And she was red earlier," Andrea adds, taking the chance to place a hand on Taylor's forehead.
"Mom, I'm twenty four years old," Taylor groans, gently pushing her mother's hand away.
"No temperature," Andrea says, ignoring Taylor's comment.
"I wasn't quiet. My face wasn't red. And I'm not sick," Taylor replies very matter of factly.
"Okay, honey," Andrea says, taking Taylor's dishes from her.
Taylor sighs and stalks her way out to her living room. She sits down on her couch with a huff and stares up at the ceiling. Why can't I tell them? I don't even understand why I'm so nervous. I know they'll be supportive.
It was the questions that Taylor was worried about. Are you gay? Is Karlie gay? How long has this been going on for? Doesn't Karlie date that Josh guy? Does Tree know? Is this a good idea?
I told Karlie I would tell them. I have to tell them. She comes back tomorrow.
Taylor is pulled from her thoughts, when the pure white kitten Karlie had bought for her meows at her feet. With a smile Taylor pulls the kitten onto her lap. She gently strokes the kitten, feeling a little more relaxed.
I could always tell them tomorrow before Karlie gets back.
Taylor thought coming to a resolve would put her mind at ease for the night, as her and her family enjoy a movie night, but rather her thoughts strayed back to Karlie and Cara. Her jaw was firmly set, often ticking as she gritted her teeth tightly, her stare ice cold, and her laughter noticeably absent as the rest of her family watches the comedy they had all decided upon.
Karlie couldn't get home fast enough.
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I guess this chapter is mostly filler, but if you noticed I basically am starting to set up all different types of drama.... So it isn't necessarily random events....
I plan to update again tomorrow before I leave for a trip!! I want to have Taylor and Karlie reunited!