Three days had passed since the incident with Charlotte and Murphy, the camp was being run a little more smoothly by Clarke and Bellamy. Everyone understood that they were the leaders and that they finally had rules. During the last three days, Raven had made it down to Earth, the radio in the pod had been knocked out due to rough landing, so they tried flares, which didn't work, because soon after they watched as three-hundred-twenty bodies fell from space. Octavia had been kidnapped by a grounder, who was now locked up on the third level of the ship. Finn had been stabbed by that grounder, poisoned, and then saved by Clarke, Raven, and Octavia. Raven had established radio communication with the Ark, Clarke was the doctor, and Octavia had cut herself with the blade, getting the grounder to finally tell them which vial had the antidote, because he had some weird connection with the girl. Video communication had been established with the Ark and Clarke was now talking to the council.
"Tell us about the grounder. Can he provide any insight on how to survive the winter?" Jaha asked.
"Even if he did, one, I don't think he understands us, and two, they've locked him up because he had kidnapped one of our own," Clarke explained. "We've been gathering nuts and berries, curing meats, so in the end, we'll end up freezing before we starve."
"There's good news on that subject, blue. According to civil defense plans from before the war, there's an old emergency aid depot not far." Kane informed.
"In addition to supplies, it could provide shelter," Jaha added.
"What makes you think it's still intact?" Clarke questioned.
"It was designed to withstand nuclear warfare," Kane answered.
"I have to object." Diana Sydney spoke out, she was new on the council, former Chancellor, she took Abby's place and while Abby was saved from being floated by Jaha, she was removed from the council. "Project Exodus is underway. The kids should sit tight in their camp until the first ship lands."
"Even if everything goes without a hitch, the hundred would die from exposure before help arrives."
"Clarke, what other dangers, besides grounders are you facing down there?" Diana asked.
"Water creature, and clouds of acid fog. Which we have dealt with and escaped before... well not all of us. We lost three people to the acid fog. There is, unfortunately, no way to help other than to put them out of their misery." She informed. "But those are easier to deal with. We don't know what the grounders are going to do. They are our only real problem."
"We are proud of you all." Jaha smiled.
"How do you deal with people who have broken these rules you say you've come up with?" Diana raised an eyebrow.
"We don't kill them if that's what you're asking," Clarke answered, not knowing what Diana's angle was.
"Then what do you do?" Kane asked.
"We banish them. It's what we did to John Murphy." Clarke answered.
"What did John Murphy do?" Diana squinted her eyes.
"He tried to kill a little girl. Charlotte... I didn't know what her last name was..." Clarke began.
"Why was he trying to kill her?" Another council member asked.
"Charlotte... Charlotte was the one who murdered Wells." Clarke answered, not looking at the screen. "She was having nightmares about Jaha floating her parents, she misunderstood some advise one of us gave her and she killed him. I, along with a few others thought it was Murphy, as he was always threatening Wells, and even once got into a knife fight with him, so I confronted him and a group started to attack him. oddly enough, Charlotte had killed herself to save my life. Murphy had a knife to my throat."
"I'd like a moment alone with Clarke." Jaha finally spoke.
"Talk to you later, blue," Kane said giving her a small smile.
Everyone got up and left, the council room.
"Clarke... your mother..." Jaha began.
"Look, I don't want to hear excuses, okay? I have enough going on right now. So just... tell me who's next and let someone who actually wants to, get the chance to talk to their parents." She sighed.
"Dax." Jaha read from the list.
Clarke left the tent and looked around. "Dax?" She called out. When no one answered she walked over to Monty and Jasper, who were sorting, and occasionally eating the nuts.
"Hey, boys." She smiled, watching Monty throw a nut into Jasper's mouth, him catching it then, self high-fiving. "Have you seen Dax?" She asked.
"With the meat crew," Monty answered.
Clarke walked over to the meet crew. "Dax, you're up." She said sending him on his way to the communications tent.
-----
Clarke walked into the dropship, just barely hearing the end of Octavia and Bellamy's latest argument.
"Bellamy?" She asked. "Can I talk to you? Hey, Tavia."
"Don't." Octavia hissed.
"She was just trying to save his life, okay? Finn is one of us. We save our own." Bellamy replied.
"Listen, if Octavia wants to be mad, then she has the right to be mad. It's not good to bundle up emotions." Clarke chimed in.
"See, like always, little lion is the sensible one," Octavia smirked.
"Bell, I need to talk to you." Clarke sighed.
"I'm not talking to Jaha." He said, walking towards the entrance of the ship.
"That's not why... Look, the Ark found some old records that show an emergency depot not too far from here." She informed.
"Why are you asking me?" He raised a brow. "I mean you haven't talked to me in, about three days."
"Because right now, you are the only one who isn't completely pissed off at me. Besides, I trust you." She answered.
"I'll get my things and meet you in ten." Bellamy agreed.
"Thank you." She smiled, then left.
------
Clarke walked out from Finn and Raven's tent, after checking his wound, slightly irritated. She looked around and found Bellamy, taking more rations than needed for just a day trip.
"Why are you taking so many?" She asked, approaching him.
"A lot can happen in a day." He answered.
"Whatever let's just go." She sighed.
"Everything alright, Princess?" He asked as they walked through the gate.
"Nothing... I just... its nothing."
"You know you can talk to me right?"
"After... I trust you, Bellamy, I just don't... as much as I want to, we can't just go back to the way things were between us."
"I know." He sighed. "So, what do you thinks going to be in this depot?" He asked.
"Blankets. Things to keep us warm throughout the winter." She answered. "Or at least I hope."
They walked in silence for a little longer before he stopped completely. They were far enough away from camp, he figured.
"Say it."
"What?"
"Clarke, I know you. I can tell something's on your mind so just say it."
"It's nothing."
"Come on, Princess, you used to tell me everything that was running through your mind, except what your father was planning. That was the first real secret you kept from me."
"Please don't." She whispered.
"Just please tell me what's going on."
"I let someone get tortured."
"Clarke..."
"No, Bellamy, not this time. No amount of 'I got ya, Princess.' or 'Everything's going to be okay.' is going to help. Now, let's just... let's just find the damn depot and get back to camp."
"It wasn't just you... okay? I was the one who tortured him."
"Yeah, but I let you. I shouldn't have... I should have just..."
"How else would you have saved Finn?"
"I don't know."
"Clarke, don't beat yourself up over this, okay? There was no other choice."
"I just wish there had been."
They walked in silence for a few more minutes before Bellamy asked,
"Was Murphy telling the truth?"
"What? We already know who killed..."
"No. Not... not about Wells. About... overhearing you and Octavia?"
"Bellamy... Can we please just not talk about that right now?"
"Why not?" He asked, stopping.
"Because we have something more important to worry about right now." She answered, continuing to walk.
"Really? That's your answer? Is that what you've been doing for the last three days? Doing 'more important' things?"
"Yeah, Bellamy that is my answer."
"Did you even love me in the first place?"
Clarke stopped dead in her tracks. "Excuse me?" She turned to him. "You really think that I never loved you?!"
"Well, you sure as hell don't act like it." He said raising his voice.
"And how the hell am I supposed to be acting!?"
"I don't know! I just know that if what we had was real, you wouldn't be fine. I know I'm not."
"I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want? Me to apologize?"
"Clarke, no..."
"I'm sorry that I am trying to learn how to survive before I deal with things like the fact that my best friend was murdered before I got to be friends with him again! Or you know, that fact that it was actually my mother's fault, that my father is dead! Or that I let someone get tortured! Or that my other best friend is pissed off at me for letting the torture happen!" She ranted. "I am so sorry, that I am trying to keep me, you, and the rest of the hundred alive before I deal with being in love with someone!" Deep breath, Clarke. Deep breath. "Now, can we please just find this depot and get back to camp?"
"Fine." He sighed.
"Why do you have all of those extra rations?" She asked after a few moments. "Are you trying to leave?"
"Clarke, I shot Jaha. They'll kill me once they get down here. Best not to stick around."
"You can't just leave! What about Octavia?"
"You can take care of her. I know you can."
------------
"The door should be around here somewhere." She informed once they got to a clearing with a ruined building.
"Keep an eye out." He sighed then walked off.
They had split up to cover more ground and find the door. Bellamy had suddenly felt like he was being watched when Clarke called out to him saying she had found the door. He gave the edge of the woods, one last look, then went to her.
"I think it's rusted shut."
"Watch out," Bellamy said, taking his ax and hitting the rusted handle with it.
Bellamy and Clarke gripped the handle on the door. They pulled, getting the door open.
"Come on," Clarke said, then climbed down the ladder.
Once inside, Bellamy closed the hatch. Clarke used one of the lights from the dropship to see.
"Well, we won't be able to live here." She sighed, looking around at all of the water on the floor, and dripping from the ceiling.
"Well, there has to be something, just search," Bellamy replied, getting out his light.
-------
After a while, they met up in a hallway.
"Find anything?" Clarke asked.
"Nothing." Bellamy sighed. He spotted a few barrels then opened one up, he put his hand in the liquid. Oil. "Damnit!" He exclaimed then knocked it over, the banging noises capturing his and Clarke's attention.
"What is it?"
Bellamy knelt next to the barrel and reached for something.
"Bellamy?"
He looked up at her, smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, and held up a gun. "A way to survive."
"Guns?"
"Come on, you need to practice." He said standing up and checking to see if there were any bullets in the gun.
"What?"
"See that sheet hanging down over there?" Bellamy moved over to it, drawing an 'X' on it with spray paint that he had found in a room a few minutes earlier. "Hit the center of the X."
"Bell..."
"Nope. Come on, you want to learn how to survive, this is it." He said holding the gun out to her.
Clarke took the gun and pointed it at the 'X'. She pressed the trigger. She had been knocked back a bit, but she had missed the marker.
"Here. I'll show you." He said taking his gun, reloading it, and then pressing the trigger. Nothing happened.
"Wow. You're really good at this." She mocked.
"Mine must be filled with duds. Here, try again." He said setting his gun down then grabbing her by the shoulders then positioning her in front of the sheet. "Just keep your arm up here, and..." He realized his other hand was on her waist and took a deep breath. "Just breath before you pull the trigger, and lean in, so it doesn't kick you back." He quickly stepped back and watched as she did it.
The bullet went right through the center of the 'X' and Clarke smiled, laughing slightly. "I did it!" She jumped up, then turned to him. "Does that make me a bad person?"
"No. Not at all." He smiled back. "Hey, um... I need to go get some air. I'll be back."
"Be careful," Clarke said.
"I'll call for you if anything happens. Okay, Princess?"
"Don't be a damsel in distress, rebel doesn't look good on you."
Bellamy shook his head, with a smile on his face, then left the bunker.
------
Once outside he wiped his hands over his face and started breathing heavily. Suddenly he heard a voice.
"Bellamy Blake."
He turned around, no one was there.
"You're a monster."
He turned again. No one.
"You deserve to die."
"You should have tried harder to kill me."
"Jaha?" He asked, finally seeing the person speaking. This isn't real. I'm dreaming or something. Jaha's on the Ark.
"It's your turn to die."
It's my time. A voice inside of Bellamy spoke.
"You were right. I never loved you."
Clarke? But she was inside...
"I didn't love you. Everything was fake."
"What?" He asked, still confused.
"You're a monster."
"You deserve to die."
"You are the worst son."
"Mom?" He was in tears now.
"I wish I would have had Octavia first, she'd have been a better child."
"You're a monster."
"You are the worst brother. I hope you die out here."
"Octavia? How are you here?" She was supposed to be at camp. What's going on?
Suddenly all four of them were repeating the same two things. "You're a monster." "You deserve to die."
Jaha walked over to Bellamy and started pounding his fists in his face, knocking him down. "You're a monster!"
Bellamy lay there, not caring anymore. His sister hated him. Clarke never loved him. He was alone.
"Get up! Come on! Fight me!" Jaha yelled.
Bellamy felt a little bit of fight left in him and reached for the gun next to him, then suddenly it was gone, and he looked up. Jaha wasn't there, neither were his mother, sister, or Clarke.
"I said, get up!" The kid shouted. "You're pathetic!"
"DAX!" Clarke yelled, from behind them, she was pointing a gun at him, she pulled the trigger but missed.
As she was reloading Dax walked over to her and hit her in the ribs. Bellamy jumped up then ran at him knocking him over before he landed a second punch to Clarke's face. As the two boys fought, Clarke moved behind the tree, trying to reload her gun. Bellamy was knocked to the ground. Clarke moved back around the tree in time to see Bellamy grab the bullet from the ground then push it into Dax's neck, then push him off. Clarke slid down the tree, breathing heavily.
"Clarke..." Bellamy breathed, half crawling towards her.
"Are you okay?" She asked as he sat next to her.
"Fine. What about you? Are you bleeding?" He asked examining her.
"I'm fine. Maybe a broken rib, but I'm fine."
"My mother... if she knew what I had done, who I am... she raised me to be better, to be good."
"Bellamy..."
"And all I do is hurt people... I'm a monster."
"Hey... you saved my life today. You may be a total ass half the time, but I need you. We all do. None of us would have survived this place if it wasn't for you."
Bellamy sighed and looked away from her.
"You want forgiveness? Fine, I'll give it to you. You're forgiven, Okay? But you can't just run, Bellamy. You have to come back with me. You have to face it. Face Jaha."
"Like you faced your mom?"
"You're right, I don't want to face her. I don't want to face any of it. All I think about, every second of every day is, 'how are we going to keep everyone alive?' But we don't have a choice."
"Jaha will kill me when he comes down."
"We'll figure something out. I'm not losing you, Bellamy. Not again."
"Can we figure it out later?"
"Whenever you're ready." She answered, resting her head on his shoulder.
-------
After Bellamy and Clarke had gotten back to camp and talked to everyone about the guns, then went into the communications tent and explained why Bellamy shot him and who wanted him dead to Jaha, Bellamy had left to his tent. A few moments later Clarke followed him in.
"Hey." She smiled. "So, my ribs are not broken."
"That's good." Bellamy sighed, sitting on his bed.
"How are you?" She asked, sitting next to him and examining the cut on his cheek.
"Better." He answered, smiling softly.
"That's good." She replied, lowering her hands, and looked down at them, in her lap.
"Are you sure, you're okay?" He asked.
"Yeah... I just... I do." She sighed.
"Do what?"
"I figured it out when we got back here." She looked up at him. "I do still love you."
Bellamy didn't know what to say, so instead of saying anything he put his hand on her cheek and kissed her gently. He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.
"I love you." He breathed.
"I'm ready." She said looking him in the eyes.
Bellamy gulped, she didn't have to say anything else for him to understand. "Are you sure?" He asked.
"I'm sure."
They moved so Clarke was laying on her back and Bellamy was hovering over her. They both took deep breaths, and Bellamy removed his shirt, while she took her's off. He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her slowly then roughly. They didn't care if anyone ended up hearing them, they were in love and that was all that mattered to them right now.