Tenn walked toward my parents' car, and I was right beside him.
"You need to leave," he said to my dad as he began to get out of the car. "If you want to talk to her, you need to talk to me first, and then I'll decide. But we're definitely not doing this here, and we're definitely not doing this now."
I understood why Tenn didn't want my parents here. He wasn't going to allow them to ruin the peaceful atmosphere of our soon-to-be house. He didn't want any tension or ugliness to taint this house and the safety and comfort I felt here.
"It's just --" my dad began.
"It's just nothing," Tenn said. "You didn't give Lark the support she needed when I fucked up, then when she kicked you out of her life, you waited and waited and waited instead of trying to make things right with your daughter and apologize. You didn't show her support. You didn't show her that you loved her and could be there for her when she needed you."
My mother tried to get out of the car, but Tenn shook his head at her. "Don't even think about getting out of the car."
Surprisingly, my mother stayed put. And her face looked...sad, I guess was the best word for it. It was a look I'd never seen before on her face, so I wasn't exactly sure what it meant.
"Call Tenn tomorrow," I told my dad. "Please don't stop by here again without an invitation."
My dad looked at Tenn. "I'll call you first thing in the morning," he said, then got back into the car and drove away.
Tenn and I watched them leave, not saying anything until their car disappeared.
"You OK?" he asked, his hand rubbing my arm. Tenn was still tentative about touching me, understanding I wasn't there yet. It was something we were working on in therapy, and as much as I craved his touch, I was still afraid to take that last step.
Shrugging, I wasn't even sure how to answer his question. I hated being estranged from my parents, but I also wasn't going to let them barge into my life at will when we weren't on speaking terms. This wasn't just something a quick sorry would fix.
"What do you think they wanted?" I asked, knowing it could go several ways.
He pressed a kiss to my head. "I don't know, sweetheart, but I'll find out as soon as he calls tomorrow. My guess? They tried to outwait you. They wanted you to blink first and you didn't. So maybe they figured out how serious you are and realized they needed to make amends and make the first move."
"I guess we'll see. But I'm also wondering how they knew where we were."
"I'll find that out, too," Tenn promised.
The next morning, I made it down to the kitchen later than usual to find Tenn standing at the sink, freshly showered and dressed, draining the last of his coffee from a mug. Fredward was still upstairs sleeping and had shot me a nasty look when I'd gotten up and disturbed his sleep.
"Good morning, Lark," he greeted me. Tenn was a morning person through and through and loved early hours the best. I considered it suspicious that anyone could willingly want to beat the sun up.
"Morning," I said as he smiled at me. I tried to smile back, but I'm sure it came out as more of a grimace. Smiles were difficult for me before eight a.m.
"Heard from your dad bright and early today," he said without any warm up. "The easy question to answer is how they knew where we were. They drove by our house, and not seeing us there, drove by all the properties I own. They'd looked up Larkenn Homes online in the tax rolls, grabbed the addresses of my six properties and did drive-bys until they saw our cars at the project house."
"That was pretty resourceful."
Tenn inclined his head. "They were motivated since your sisters wouldn't give them any information about you, us. Apparently, they didn't know that you, Dove and Robin had been in contact until two days ago. Your sisters kept that to themselves because, as they told your parents, if they wanted a relationship with you, it wasn't going to be through them. They'd have to work it out on their own. And I was glad to hear that because it shows in a very real, concrete way that they have your back."
"Smart move," I said, feeling as if that was another tiny step forward.
"So, your dad said that your mom's been really upset that you haven't called. And he's been telling her that you wouldn't be calling, that she -- they -- needed to make the first move to repair the relationship between you."
"Well, I guess it took him a while to talk her around. So what does that say, Tenn?"
"It says your mom is used to feeling in the right, and she wasn't backing down and she was expecting you to. She has her role and you have yours, and she figured you'd eventually give in and things would smooth themselves out."
"Oh."
"Lark, I said she wasn't backing down. But think about it. You told me you thought she looked sad in the car last night, and when would she have ever stayed in the car because I told her to? Never. Your mom did what she wanted. But she listened and she was sad."
"I've never seen her look like that, not even when Robin got arrested or when Dove got divorced."
"Well, your dad said he came home the night before they found us at the project house and she was crying hysterically. His description, by the way. Apparently, your mom's been seeing a therapist that your dad didn't know about, and your mother had a breakthrough that day. And she realized just how badly she'd let you down the first and only time you turned to her for help. He also said she felt horrible that she didn't listen to you or treat you the right way. Your dad also said he felt terrible for letting you down and for not taking the reins and backing your mother down."
That was a lot to absorb. Mom seeing a therapist absolutely floored me. That just wasn't something I could have imagined her doing, and I said so to Tenn.
He looked sheepish. "The time your mom ambushed you with me, after you left I told your mom that she, your dad and your sisters would keep a family counselor in business for a while. She denied it to me, but she kept thinking about what I said, and finally went to one, according to your dad."
At that, I semi laughed. "I bet she went at first to get validation that she was in the right of it."
Tenn smiled and shrugged, knowing I was probably correct.
"So, they wanted to know if we'd be willing to meet them for coffee. I said I'd ask you."
"Did they seem sincere?"
"Your dad did, yes. I didn't speak with your mom. If you want me to, I can."
"I want to take this slow with them, Tenn. I kind of feel like I'm fighting battles on all sides to find my way back to normal."
"I know. I'm sorry," he said and then immediately cringed. "I know you're tired of that phrase, so all I'll say is, it's up to you, Lark. However you want to move forward with them is entirely your call."
"I think I'll approach it like I did with Robin and Dove. I'll meet them at some neutral location, hear what they have to say and then tell them about my texts, calls, then coffee plan."
"If that's what feels comfortable to you, sweetheart, then do that."
"I'll send them a group text -- mom, dad and me -- and let them know how I think we should move forward."
"You want me with you when you meet them?"
"Thanks, but I'm going this one alone. I'll see if they can meet this Saturday morning."
My parents, when I met with them, were much subdued and Mom had tears slipping down her cheeks almost the whole time. It was a very different mom than the one I was used to.
"I'm so sorry," she cried to me. "I let you down. I let you down, Lark, and I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry, too, Lark," Dad had said. "When you set us straight that night at your house, you were absolutely right. I didn't stick up for you, and I should have."
"Do you know how I felt?" I asked. "Just needing my parents' support and not getting it? I was in a world of hurt and couldn't turn to Tenn like I normally would because he was the one causing the pain. You took Tenn's side and never even asked about me! Just pushed me into doing what you wanted! Do you know how hard that was for me?"
"I do now," Mom said, and I think her honesty in that answer is what convinced me she was sincere. It stopped me, honestly. I'd been prepared for resistance, but I got remorse, and that we could work with.
So, after that initial meeting, Mom, Dad and I began texting, and rebuilding our relationship a few words at a time. My parents and I had to learn a new way of interacting with one another so we didn't fall into old roles and habits. It was a painstaking process, but just like with Tenn, just like with Robin and Dove, I was taking it slow.
Relationships needed care and nurturing, and I refused to rush the new foundations I was building in just about every area of my life. Leona, Janie and Dan remained the easy parts of my life and gave me a break when I needed one because forging so many new paths could be draining.
After one of our most recent sessions with Dr. Hampton, Tenn and I walked out, quiet and contemplative.
"That was scary, what Dr. Hampton was saying today about the percentage of couples surviving infidelity," I said to Tenn.
She'd told us that statistics weren't hard and fast, but generally a little more than fifty percent of couples survived an emotional affair, even if they'd done counseling.
"We're not going to become a statistic in the bad sense," Tenn promised me, his voice laced with determination the way it always was when he was talking about us and the future. "We're going to make it, Lark, because I'm going to do everything I can to remind you why we're good together, and I'm never going to stop trying to be a better husband and partner for you. Day after day, Lark, my job is to love you and be the husband you can trust."
"I know, Tenn," I assured him.
I'd realized for a while now that I wasn't the only one with insecurities. If I needed to take it slow and see my trust rebuilt in my husband, Tenn needed reassurance that I was still here, still willing to work on us. He continued to poke his head into whatever room I was working in at the project house every day, worried that I'd give up and leave. I knew he was working on that in individual therapy and we both talked about our individual insecurities with Dr. Hampton.
"I want a plan for us, Tenn. I want us to keep doing counseling -- and maybe it won't always be as often as it is now, but I think we need to continue it."
"Agreed," Tenn said.
"And I want to put off children for now. For years, at least, so we can work on us and getting us strong. If we have children, I want to be able to provide a stable home for them."
"I agree with that, too. So we'll focus on us for a long time, and we'll know when we're ready to add little Larks to the mix."
I couldn't help rolling my eyes.
"No little Larks or Tenns. Our children are going to have normal names that have nothing to do with poets or birds."
"Perfect," Tenn said. "We'll do our own theme. Like famous monsters -- Dracula, The Mummy, Werewolf --"
"Nope."
"OK, then we can go with great NFL teams or NBA teams --"
"Nope and nope."
"Dog breeds?"
"I refuse to have a son named Rottweiler or Chihuahua."
"I think Chihuahua might be more of a girl's name," Tenn told me seriously.
"New rule. I have veto power over all names you suggest."
"I'll come up with a great theme. I've got years to figure this out, so it'll be epic."
After we had only two rooms to finish in our project house, we put our old house on the market and then began furnishing the project house -- now our home. All told, it was a little more than one year after that horrible day when our marriage had blown up.
As we were getting ready to make the move, I knew the time was right to make another move forward. Up until this point, I'd slept in the guest bedroom of our old house, but moving into the new house, it felt like the right time to start sharing a bedroom again.
Tenn had purged his old clothing and was starting with all new clothes in the new house. He was taking starting fresh quite literally. I, however, loved my clothes so I wanted them moved over. Tenn was carrying in the first box of my clothes in when he stopped in the living room and looked at me.
"You never said which bedroom you want," he said.
Deep breath, Lark. Take the final plunge.
"I'll be in the master," I said slowly. "With you."
I watched the emotions wash over his face. Not once had he asked or pushed or questioned. He just let me be and followed my lead and pace. When Dr. Hampton had brought the subject up, he'd simply said he'd wait forever and it was all up to me.
He set the box down, wrapped those strong arms around me and lifted me up, just breathing me in. I could feel him whispering I love you against my neck, over and over.
I could tell by the way he was holding me he'd never let me go. Never again.
We still had a long way to go. It wasn't going to be easy and it was going to take hard work.
But we had time.
We had patience.
We had determination.
And, most of all, we had love.