Before now, the only map of Torrine I'd ever seen was in the Palace when Killian and I snuck around the various rooms at night. But even then, I didn't get much of a look. I didn't care about Torrine. In my mind, it was a neighboring enemy country that King Ereon protected us from.
I never would've thought I'd be staring at a map of the country with Torrinian citizens themselves. And, glancing over at Killian tending to Fluffy, I think about what Freya from a year ago would've thought if somebody had told her she'd have her heart stamped on by the commander of the Torrinian army.
"Freya?"
I blink away from Killian, back to Lei waving a hand in front of my face. "Huh?"
"You need to focus. As soon as Juem gets here, we'll need to leave." She clicks impatiently, pointing to the two maps spread across the flat stone surface between us. "What's so distracting anyway?"
"I was watching Casimir," I say quickly, glancing back down at the maps. With a fleeting glance in her direction, one quirked eyebrow tells me she knows exactly who I was staring at. And it's not Casimir, who is currently fiddling with the saddle of a chestnut mare.
"Here." I trace my finger along the line on Myers' map, stopping right where the dotted line halts. "These mountains; that's where it's leading us to."
Lei glares at the map. "I can't see it, remember?"
I shift my gaze to the map beside Myers. Lei's map. The pages are tainted with splotches of dirt and small tears, unlike Myers which was kept hidden away all these years, only yellowed by age. Scanning the map, I compare the two.
"I think it's these mountains," I say, pointing at her map.
"You think?"
"I...I'm not sure. The maps look a little different. There are a few different mountain ranges."
"You have to be sure, Freya. We can't travel days only to end up at the wrong mountain range."
I look back down, studying the fine lines. Though it has clearly been through turmoil, Lei's map is far more detailed than Myers, drawn from a different angle. And Myers map only has a few landmarks labelled.
I nod. "I'm pretty sure."
Lei lets out a groan, muttering something under her breath that I don't quite catch.
"The Saulun mountains," Killian calls from over his shoulder. "It has to be. I told you, Lei. Myers had rocks from those alps."
"That could mean anything. Travelling to the Saulun mountains will take days. We have to be sure."
Killian pats the horse's hind before strolling over to us. "How else would he have gotten those stones?"
I swallow as he reaches us, eyes sweeping over the maps. Killian always looks put together, but there's something about his attire that makes my stomach drop. He's a portrait of elegance. Adorned in all black, only the various weapons sheathed at his belt glint beneath the morning sun. Aside Lei in a similar attire, they make the picture perfect pair. I feel like a child playing dress up in the combat clothing Lei leant me, the clunky weaponry belt weighing down each step.
"Ignore him." Lei swats his words away with a hand. "I'm the navigator. And I say you need to be sure."
I look at Killian; his eyes glint. "No pressure."
The lightness of his tone somehow eases some of the pressure off. I look back to Lei and nod. "I'm sure."
"Really?"
No. "Yes."
She stares for a few more seconds before nodding in affirmation just as Sanaa appears over her shoulder, a stocky man an inch behind her. Lei and Killian both turn at their arrival.
"Juem," Killian greets.
The man, Juem, nods his head at him before looking at me. His black locs brush his shoulders as he walks. "Freya," he says, "I've heard a lot about you."
I imagine most of it was bad. "Nice to meet you," I say. "Killian said you're the best healer."
"How flattering." Juem raises an eyebrow at Killian. "Killian only ever says nice things behind my back."
"If I said them to your face your ego would implode."
Juem offers me a kind smile, easing my nerves. "He's not wrong."
"Let's go," Lei says. "We're wasting precious time."
Juem grins. "Nice to see you too, Lei."
Sanaa interrupts before she can retort, stepping to meet Killian. "I've arranged for a crossing at noon tomorrow. They'll stow you beneath the deck. Don't miss it. There won't be another for weeks, months possibly."
"We won't."
Sanaa says nothing, reaching out to place a hand on Killian's shoulder, but I see the goodbye exchanged through their gaze. It feels so intimate I fight the urge to look away. Sanaa glides past Killian, casting a brief glance at Killian before exchanging a nod with Lei. After, she reaches me.
I don't think I'll ever get over to the intial intimidation I feel when she looks at me. There's a warmth behind her brown eyes. When we first met, I hadn't known if it was genuine. But as she reaches out to hold my forearm, I don't doubt it.
"I am eternally grateful to you," she says. "Your decision to stop the cloud will not go unnoticed."
I shift from foot to foot, uncomfortable with the praised. It feels undeserved. What I'm doing is no more monumental than what Killian or Lei are doing, perhaps most of all Casimir, who is purely doing this for me. He's not even sure this is necessary at all and yet, he risks his life. For me.
"I'm not doing it for you," I say honestly.
"It doesn't matter who you're doing it for. You're doing it. That means something." She doesn't give me a chance to respond. "We will take good care of your brother and your friend."
"You'll--"
"We will continue to try and wake him," she confirms.
"If he wakes and I'm not here, will you tell him what happened?"
"You'll tell him yourself when you get back."
The confidence in her voice, no matter how forced, makes me feel slightly better. "Thank you, Sanaa."
She nods. "I wish you safe travels."
Casimir helps me mount the horse, nudging up behind me on the saddle. The horse adjusts to our weight. It strains against the reigns. As soon as Killian, Lei and Juem mount their horses, Casimir urges ours forward and we settle in a light trot.
Casimir's arms cage me in a warm, familiar embrace. I can't help but glance sideways at Killian on Fluffy, trotting through the trees to our side. He holds the reigns loosely in one hand as he balances himself to lean down and adjust his right stirrup.
My stomach stirs, unsettled. We won't have long in Portson. Barely enough time to collect more resources. But I'm no fool; it won't be an easy task. The village will undoubtably be crawling with Ereon's guards searching for one thing.
Me.
***
I've heard stories of Portson from the day I was born.
The largest village in Elel and closes port to neighbouring country Ayrith, Portson is the main trading centre in the entire country. The few villagers in Elel who managed to work their way into trades were shifted to Portson and they never came back. My father was born in Portson, shifting when he was a child.
He painted pictures of white sand beaches and turquoise water; wooden structures built into the water, home to large sail boats with tumbling, white sheets billowing in the wind. He'd talk about how the streets always bustled, how the vibration of the crowd travelled through the ground and into your feet till you could feel it all the way in your brain.
I sometimes wondered if he exaggerated his stories the way young children often do. But, lying flat on my stomach at the edge of a sparse treeline onlooking the village I've only ever seen in my mind, I see a glimpse into my father's stories.
Even from a distance, the ground murmurs with the hum of people. Despite the winter chill present in the air, the dark blue sky makes ways for a blazing sun that clings to the black fabric covering each inch of my lower body. The buildings, taller than those in Veymaw, obscure my view of the ocean beyond. But the tips of sails peek over the rooves, and the scent of salt weighs heavily in the air.
It won't be long before the sun begins to fall in the sky, giving way to a night that will provide us with shelter. We rode the entirety of the way to Portson keeping to the trees, only stopping twice for food, water, and to give the horses a rest.
It paid off, too. According to Lei, we arrived in Portson earlier than expected. More time to rest. More time to plan before nightfall. More time to assess the state of the village in broad daylight. How many guards? How hidden are they making themselves? Where are the main centres we need to access?
Food. Water. Warm clothes. Our list cannot afford to be exhaustive.
"There." Casimir whispers from beside me. "Shifter."
I follow his line of sight to a woman leaning against the building and in narrow alleway. A long, grey dress covers her body, mousey brown hair pulled into a thick braid.
While Juem looked after the horses and Lei and Killian went to investigate which buildings we'll need to target at nightfall, Casimir and I were tasked with trying to identify how prevalent Ereon's presence is in Portson, and how inconspicuous.
I stare at the woman again. She appears relaxed, pushing off the wall to carry on down the alleyway. "How can you tell?" I ask.
"It's the way she moves," he murmurs. "There's something different about it. Almost like she's forcing the slow movements. Unnatural."
I try to understand what he means, but to my eye, she moves just like everybody else. "How come you never thought that about Killian when he was with the deserters?"
He frowns, as if the fact that he never picked up on it has bothered him already. "I wondered the same. But listening to more about their country, it seems they are much more integrated with humans than the shifters in Elel. It's much easier to imitate somebody you're around all the time than somebody new."
Before I can say anything else, he puts a hand on my arm. "There's another."
This time, it's a man, loitering around the entrance of the building as the woman moves on. Casimir murmurs under his breath.
"10 minute shifts. There's a two minute period where nobody is on watch. That means we have approximately 5 chances to go through unnoticed."
I stare at him like he's speaking another language. "Come again?"
He grabs my arm. "We need to talk to the others before night falls. That'll be our best chance." A grin crosses his face, one I've never seen before, lit with the adrenaline of dangerous mission. "You ever pulled off a heist?"
I raise a brow. And as he pulls me from the ground and back through the sparse vegetation, the noises of the village fading to the background, I catch another glimpse of an identity he kept hidden for so long.
Casimir the deserter.