Swara stirred due to the buzzing sound around her. She tried to open her eyes. After some time she opened it to witness whitish-grey light in her room. Curtains were closed blocking bright sunlight's entry in her room.
'He still cares for me.'
She rubbed her eyes to get a clear picture. One figure in the dark was trying to find something from the opened drawer of the nightstand of his side.
"Sanskar?" She mumbled but he was still busy with his work to find something.
She got up and extended her hand to get her watch. It was 6:30 am.
"Sanskar, why are you up so early?" this time she spoke louder hoping her voice would fall on his ears.
She switched on lights which thankfully gained attention from her husband. He turned to her with a regretful face.
"I am so sorry, Swara."
'He is breaking his own rules of no sorry and no thank you.' thought crossed her mind.
"What are you doing? It's only 6:30." She asked in bewilderment looking at her husband, all set to go to his office.
"I have a meeting in Delhi. I need to board a flight at 8." He was still searching for something in the drawer.
"Sanskar, you came so late yesterday." her concern for him was dripping in her voice.
"It's ok, Swara. This meeting was schedule long back with ministry." Finally he turned to her.
"Are you going for some days?" tears again welled up in her eyes.
"Nope, I will be back by night." His immediate reply gave some relief to her heart.
"Breakfast? I will quickly make something for you." She tied her long hair in a messy bun moving to the washroom for a quick freshen up.
"No Swara, I will be late."
"Please, just 10 minutes." She ran inside with jet speed and exactly 10 minutes after she was out.
"You are not going without breakfast." She declared running out of their room without waiting for his answer.
She came downstairs, Ragini was already in the kitchen working with their mother-in-laws.
"What's there in breakfast?" She asked hurriedly.
"I am making parathas for everyone." Ragini replied.
"Ok. I will help." Swara took out chakala and belan.
"What is so hurried, Swara?"
"Sanskar, he is leaving for Delhi for some meeting. I have to make his breakfast. He should not go without eating anything."
Swara started peeling boiled potatoes when Uttara entered the kitchen.
"Swara Bhabhi, Bhai left. He said he was getting late. So..." Uttara left her sentence in mid. Her words gave a break to Swara's movements. She dropped her shoulders to gulp heavily to push back her tears.
Nobody said anything but concentrated on their work.
Days started passing within a blink but there was no change in Swara and Sanskar's routine. Everyday, Sanskar left for office early in the morning whereas his returning time was fixed for midnight.
'He was a sleepy head earlier. But now...' Swara was accustomed to his previous routine. She expected everything to be the same as before as she left 6 months ago. But in the first two-three days, she realized that the distance of six months had put a huge glass wall between them. Nothing was left as before, neither she nor her husband. Every new day, a new Sanskar stood in front of her.
Swara was not a girl who would give up easily. She started adapting to her new schedule with anticipation of being around him. She started getting up early to make his breakfast also waiting for him till he returned back at night.
The first few days he avoided but then he gave up looking at her efforts and mostly teary eyes. He asked her to pack his breakfast, his small gesture fluttered her heart with new hope.
In the last week, one thing came to the notice of Swara that the distance of 6 months had increased the distance between her and Sanskar. He was not angry with her, nor did he ever say anything that hurt Swara's heart, but still her heart was feeling empty due to his reserved, awkward and hesitant behaviour. Her own husband became a stranger to her.
Sanskar started to apologise to her for every little thing. He would answer every question in one or two words. He started thinking carefully while answering even a regular routine question. He turned cautious when ever she was around him.
He didn't talk more than necessary not only with her but with family members as well. His lame jokes, his flirtings, his whinings for his tie were long gone. He started agreeing to her each and every demand without even a single question, all these things were new for Swara. She had never expected that there would ever be such a stagnation in her and Sanskar's relationship anytime in their lifetime.
"Swara, Sanskar hasn't come home yet?" Ragini asked her when both were climbing up stairs after dinner.
She shook her head in a negative way. Every member of the house could see her gloominess. Ragini had observed her sister, her chirpy and joyful sister had turned quiet from the last few months.
"He did not say anything when Laksh asked for an apology. He just said 'it's ok.'" Ragini mentioned about her talks with her husband.
Two days back Laksh had gathered courage and faced Sanskar to ask forgiveness about the blunder he did in their past.
"I am happy that you and Sanskar forgave Laksh. But..."
"But what about Ragini?"
"Laksh is taking it too much on heart. He had thought Sanskar would be angry at him and was ready to take his outburst but he did not say anything that was bothering Laksh so much. Can you please talk to Sanskar?" Ragini requested again.
Swara nodded her head in agreement with scepticism.
"Swara, I know a lot has happened in the past and it's still impacting our present. But we can get over it. Laksh was saying we all four can go out for a few days. It will be a good change for all of us. Why don't you talk to Sanskar about it?" Ragini suggested.
Going out for a few days away from family and office work would give her a chance to be near Sanskar and they could mend their relationship like before. But his reserved and withdrawn approach again created doubt in her mind about his acceptance.
"But Sanskar...? He is too busy with office work." words were out but Ragini cut her.
"Don't worry. I will ask Laksh to talk to Papaji. When he orders, Sanskar will automatically agree." Ragini's persuasive words brought a smile on Swara's face.
Next morning, it came as a sweet shock for Swara when Sanskar captured couch after his shower. Her husband was not in hurry to leave.
"Are you not leaving for office?" She asked, still lost in her own thoughts.
He was sitting on the couch of their room working on his Mac.
"No, I have to go to the office but I can go a little late. You don't have to get up way too early for my breakfast everyday." his eyes were still fixed on the screen. "I will manage my schedule henceforth."
Sanskar had observed Swara over last week, she was stressing herself too much for his breakfast and dinner. Her dark circles were enough for him to know about her sleepless nights. For Sanskar, even today nothing was important than Swara and her well being.
"Do you want me to bring your breakfast here? Or will you be coming downstairs?" Swara had observed his silence with other family members.
Even though she did not like the current tension between him and their family, she feared to voice it out in front of him. She had decided to first patch up their issues before broaching this sensitive topic.
Sanskar thought for a moment, "I will join all."
Sanskar knew how much his wife desired for a big fat joint family? She had craved for family moments from her childhood which created longingness in her heart for a family. He was totally aware that his wife can go to any extent for her family.
Sanskar has seen a living example of her urge for reuniting their family 6 months back when Swara tried to kill herself. She had put herself at gun point. Even today, just a thought about that day skipped his heartbeat, covering his body with sweat, his hands started shivering, pushing him in dark hole.
He could not sleep peacefully over a few months thinking about the consequences if he would not have intervened and stopped herself from pulling the trigger. Nightmares about that incident took away his sleep, his peace, his sanity. He would have died the same moment if anything had happened to her. She was his life... reason for his existence.
Swara came downstairs with a relief filled heart. After a long time, Sujata observed a small smile on her daughter-in-law's face. She was not exerting herself for hastily preparing his breakfast.
Swara observed her mother-in-law's eyes.
"Sanskar said he will have breakfast with all. He is going late to the office." Happiness radiated from Swara's eyes as well as voice.
"I hope he will get back to his normal soon. I just want my family back together as before." Annapurna thought this as a first step towards her happy family togetherness.
Sujata's mind was facing debate, she knew her son. Convincing Sanskar Maheshwari was a true herculean task for anybody. But she also knew her son's love for his wife. He will and can do anything and everything for her one smile. She prayed silently for her son's happiness, his happiness meant a world to Sujata.
Swara and Ragini were arranging breakfast when all family members joined them in the dining area. Each and every eye raised with surprise when Sanskar walked in. He was still on call but his presence completed their family.
"Good morning Bhai." Laksh was the first one to wish him when he cut his call.
Swara served him his breakfast.
"Good morning Laksh." He replied as usual. He concentrated on his food without uttering anything further.
It was a family moment, everyone was chatting and talking about their days and other things. But Sanskar was silent, he was engrossed with either his food or his mobile.
"Laksh, when are you joining the office?" Durgaprasad asked, earning all eyes on him. "Sanskar is getting swamped up with office work. I think you should join the office soon."
It was one week after Laksh returned but he was staying at home. He was enjoying his family moments with his mother and wife most of the time.
"Ji, I think we should give some more time to them. It's been a long time since they had spent time together. My suggestion is that they all should go on a vacation for a few days." Annapurna advocated.
Laksh was able to convince his mother to be his lawyer in front of his father.
"That's really good suggestion Annapurna but there is so much office work pending. And Sanskar alone is taking care of it... so" Durgaprasad contradicted. He was concerned about his nephew.
"Office work will continue to happen. There is no end to it." Annapurna disproved.
"I agree with Bhabhi. She is right. Office work, we will take care of it." Ram supported.
Durgaprasad agreed looking at Swara, her expectant eyes were waiting for his approval.
"So then it's decided, Swara, Sanskar, Laksh and Ragini. Go on vacation. Decide on a place and complete bookings and enjoy it." Durgaprasad declared earning a bright smile on Swara's face. She turned to look at her husband.
"I think Goa is the best." Laksh was top of the world.
"No Laksh, I want to go to Manali." Ragini replied with a broad smile. "Swara, where do you want to go? Are you ok with Manali?" she nudged her sister who was looking at her husband who was busy with his phone reading some emails. He was clueless about the happenings around him.
"Anywhere, I am ok. Sanskar?" She asked, gaining his attention. "You ok with Manali?" For Swara, spending some time alone with Sanskar was more important than place.
"What Manali?" He was blank about the question.
"Sanskar, it will be fun when we all four will go to Manali." Ragini could not suppress her excitement.
"Sanskar we are thinking of sending you all for a small vacation." Ram gave some ideas about current planning to his son. "You all need it."
"But I cannot make it." He mumbled with thumping heart, giving a hard stop for Swara's fluttering one.
"Sanskar, don't worry about office work. Me and Bhaisa will take care of it." Ram suggested, he knew his son was a workaholic.
"It's not that Dad." He replied abruptly but stopped for a moment to think and declared. "I am going to New York in the coming week."
"New York? Why?" His mother's dropped voice earned his attention. This was the first time Sujata intervened in discussions.
"There are a few issues that escalated, I have to take care of them." his response was calculative but he was staring at his wife from corner eyes.
Swara lowered her head gulping hard. She started eating her breakfast without uttering a word. She was continuously blinking her eyes to push back her tears.
None of the family members meddled after, but deadly silence covered earlier ecstatic surroundings.
Ragini stared at her husband with pout, who blinked his eyes in assurance.
Sanskar came back to his room to get his laptop bag and necessities, Swara followed him.
"Is it important to go?" her moist voice halted his movements.
"Yes, as I said downstairs, there are a few escalated issues." he replied back, stuffing his Mac in a bag facing his back to her.
"Is it not possible for you to take it through a conference call?" She asked again, crossing her fingers.
"No, Swara. I have to be there in person." Only he knew how much he had tried to work out from here but things had slipped from his hands resulting in him forcing himself for his US trip.
"You didn't tell earlier" her shaky voice was pinching his heart.
"Sorry, everything got finalised only yesterday."
'Again sorry.' she shook her head irritatingly.
"How many days are you going for?" her voice turned annoying now.
"May be 3-4 weeks"
"Is it possible for you to take me with you? I can come along." Swara, was ready to do anything to be with him. This was her last resort.
Sanskar turned to her for the first time in their entire conversation.
'Are you for real?' thought popped up in his mind.
"Sorry, but I can't take you with me." He stared back at her baffled face.
"You don't have a US visa stamped on your passport, Swara." He dropped his shoulders giving her a reality check.
Swara opened her mouth to speak but her voice could not find words. A recent conversation surfaced an incident from her memory line.
"Swara, I can't believe you missed your US visa interview?" He was frustrated now. The moment he came back from the office he asked her about the interview, he had already messaged her but his wife was too busy to reply back.
"Sanskar, Baba needed my help in his shop. Tomorrow, the food inspector is coming for regular scrutiny. He asked me to come in the morning for help." Swara replied sheepishly.
"It was just a matter of two hours, Swara. You could have gone to help Baba after the interview." He became practical.
"Baba was a little tense. Ma would have gone but she had Aayush to take care of so... And there were so many things to do." Swara made pout, hoping her husband would melt down.
"You could have asked Ragini to go as well."
"Ragini was not feeling well." Her reason annoyed him more.
"I can't believe this. Do you know people don't get US visa interview dates so easily? You got it and wow you missed it."
"What is the reason for the US visa? Why do we even need it?" Swara counterattacked, scrunching her nose.
"Swara, you know I started Karma from the US. Of course I need to go there sometimes." He challenged.
"But last time you said you can handle your work from here through conference call." She tried to convince him.
"Not every time I can do the same Swara. If I need to go, I want you to come with me." He became vulnerable.
"We will see when time comes." She replied carelessly. She gave a quick peck on his lips to persuade her husband.
Her own words started ringing in her ears. She always prioritised her family's comfort over her necessities.
Today for the first time, she realised that if she had kept her needs ahead that day, she could join her husband on his trip. It was only a matter of a few hours, after the interview she could have gone to help her father. She just needed to ask her father to wait for her return or she could have asked Ragini or her mother but alas.
Her eyes filled with tears over her own blunders. Sanskar was staring at her, he knew what must have been running in her mind.
"You still have one week to go. Is it possible to get the interview date by then?" She still hoped.
He shook his head helplessly. "It takes 3-4 months to get the interview date."
"Bye" He replied before leaving their room.
Swara slumped down crying bitterly over her fate or her own irrationality.
*************************************************
Next update - Monday
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