★彡𝒔ocial media > i𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒔age𝒔 > 𝒓eal 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆彡★
major tw!! mention of attempt and ed
r@pe description - dont read if it could be triggering
read at ur own descretion
matthew.sturniolo
liked by christophersturniolo, nicolassturniolo and 843,985 others
matthew.sturniolo just wanted to start this off by saying that i love all our supporters and you guys have done heaps for us and chris nick and i are truely grateful. however the amount of hate comments we have been recieving for our friends is just horrible. julia has been our friend since first grade so she isnt using us for clout, she is one of the most kind, down to earth people i have ever come across. to any of you who are commenting on her personality, appearance or character in any negative way, are just straight up pathetic. if im in a relationship, im honest about it on social media, however this has gotten out of hand. im not losing one my best friends because of the hate. again, me nick and chris are forever grateful for the support, but i need all the negative people to take a step back, as youve already ruined a good relationship. i love her very much and because of the hate, we cant be together.
user so him and julia are done?
user bros got a valid point
user poor julia :((
christophersturniolo 👏👏
user so matts single?? On my way!!!
nicolassturniolo yes preach matt
ava.briggs absolutely!!!!!!
user shes still annoying idc
*comments limited*
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧
ᴊᴜʟɪᴀs ᴘᴏᴠ:
i wake up with a warm breeze coming through the window. i'm still beside a snoring nick as i reach over to grab my phone. i open it using my passcode; 010803, matts birthday.
i open up instagram and see matt's post. i groan as i see the comments. i think its sweet how he told people to stop the hate, but talking about our relationship online is exactly what was ruining it. i look over to nick, still sound asleep. i slowly and quietly try to get out of bed, while trying not to wake nick up. i head into the bathroom and wash my teeth, brush my hair, and put a hoodie on. matts hoodie. and then i head downstairs to grab some breakfast, i havent eaten in two days and my stomach is not happy about it.
as i reach the bottom of the staircase i see matt, sitting at the counter on his phone.
great.
"morning," i say awkwardly. he just returns it with a kind smile. i feel like ive said the wrong thing, even though ive only said one word and its not like we were quiet last night while crying to each other.
i head to the fridge and pull out some milk, then a bowl, then the frosted flakes from the top of the pantry.
"i'm glad youre eating," he says suddenly.
i hate the way it sounded. it was meant sweet, but someone commenting on it, made me think maybe i shouldnt be.
"i might go home and have breakfast actually," i say quietly, putting the milk back in the fridge.
"no, julie. i didnt mean to make you uncomfortable, im sorry. ill go into my room."
"oh my god matt, im not going to break. stop treating me like a fucking baby."
he doesnt respond. instead he walks right up to me and stares at me.
"what matt? you posted about me without asking me, now your telling me youll leave because you dont want me to be uncomfortable. its your fucking house STAY. ill go home and have breakfast okay?" i snap.
"im not treating you like a baby julie, im just worried about you."
"you dont get to be, matt. you dont get to be fucking worried about me."
"well i am and im not sorry about it," he says sadly, "and you arent going home, youre staying with us until your mum gets back. if you dont want to be with me, at least go hang out with nick or chris."
i take a step back, as he's still close to me. i take a deep breathe and calm myself, so i dont explode at him once again.
"im sorry for yelling, but you cant go around posting shit about me without asking me."
"julie i was just try-"
"yes matt i know you were just trying to help, youre so worried about me. but you dont need to be im fine, im not in tenth grade anymore, so stop treating me like i am."
"i know tenth grade was horrible for you, but it doesnt make your feelings now any less valid," he says calmly.
"matt dont bring this up," i say patiently, "please dont."
"look i havent seen you eat since... fuck i dont even know when julia! and you just got out of hospital for trying to take your life. your going back to tenth grade you, and i dont want to let it happen again. i cant let it happen again," he takes a breathe of air it feels like has been trapped inside him and begins to play with hem of my jumper. his jumper. i tug away from him and shoot him a dirty look.
"dont fucking touch me matt."
"julie..." he starts.
"no, you cant bring that shit up, you and your brothers promised me. ive changed okay? im not tenth grade julia anymore. drop it matt."
he looks at me, trying to reach my emotions. but i dont let him. instead, i put up a front, "im going to see ava. ill see you later," i say so quietly, im surprised he even heard it.
he nods sadly and resumes his position at the kitchen bench, scrolling on his phone. i look back at the cereal and the bowl on the bench and shrug to myself, ill clean it up later. i head back into nicks room to collect my phone, before heading to the porch. matts anxiety spot. but i guess its mine now. i sit down on the top step and pull out my phone.
'*•.¸♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡¸.•*''*•.¸ ♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡¸.•*''*•.¸♡¸.•*'
imessages
julia oolia
hey ava
sorry ive been so distant but i rlly need you rn
can i come over??
ava bb
ofc ml
james just got back from college so hes over, as long as ur ok hes here?
julia oolia
ur geeky older brother?
lmao thats ok
on my way :)
ava bb
yep thats him
except college treated him well, hes glown up tbh
julia oolia
*speeds up walking*
ava bb
very funny
see u soon bae!!
end of chat
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ᴊᴜʟɪᴀs ᴘᴏᴠ:
i'm beginning to walk towards avas house. she lives about a 20 minutes walk away, usually matt would drive me, but i was in no position to ask the boys heart i shattered last night, 'hey mind if you drive me somewhere else so it isnt awkward sitting in your presense.' i begin to laugh at my lack of feelings, before feeling suddenly extremely dizzy. i grab on to the closest stop sign poll to ground myself. i breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth, just like matt taught me to, and centre my breathing and body. i know its because i havent eaten, but its ok. i wont ever let what happen to me in grade ten happen again. im not sick, im just... not hungry right now. i know ill eat when i get to avas anyway. i resume walking again, and all my sad or angry or negative thought exit my head. although one particually not nice one stays.
i really fucking miss matt.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
i arrive at avas front door and am greeted by a tall blonde guy, who must be avas brother.
"oh uh, hi... uhm-"
"james," he says opening the door for me to walk through.
"no yeah... i know i remember you," i say walking inside, "you just look so different."
"no way," he says staring at me rather intensely.
"what?"
"holy shit are you julia?" he says shocked.
"thats me," i chuckle as he closes the door behind me.
"wow youve uh- really grown up," he says awkwardly.
"thank you? i think..."
he walks closer to me and gives me a warm hug. "good to see you j!"
and just like that he walks back off. i try to pay attention to the stupid grin on my face, trying to wipe it off. i roll my eyes at myself and walk into the lounge room, seeing ava with her airpods in.
"ava your favourite girl is here," i say sing-songy.
"julia!" she yells, running from the couch, leaping into a hug, "ive missed you so so so so so much!" she continues.
"i know, me too. i need to catch you up on heaps."
"no shit! i saw matts post you two are done?"
immediately my face drops at the one subject i wish i could put off. ava notices my uncomfortableness and motions for me to sit on the couch. she takes a seat next to me, and puts her airpods back in the case, to show her full attention is on me.
"sorry, sore topic? we dont have to talk about it if you arent ready j!" she says rubbing my shoulder. i smile at her sympathetically and begin to sink into the back of the couch more and more.
"well i dont know where to start to be honest," i say chuckling.
"wherever and whenever your ready," she says draping the blanket over our legs.
"well... i had a memory of my dad when i was over at the guys' house the other day, so i went home and tried to uhm- well... matt found me, the ambulance came. i woke up in the hospital, matt was there, chris and nick brought me food, i didnt eat it though because i was thinking about all the comments calling me fat. then i went back to matts and we were watching tangled and somehow it turned into a fight and i told him i couldnt be with him because the hate was destroying me and we both started crying and it was the single hardest moment of my life, then i went and slept in nicks bed, woke up to a post about me that matt posted, so now everyone knows we broke up and its all my fault according to his fans. so i went downstairs and matt was there and i was making breakfast and it was so awkward because i had seen him cry and hold me the night before... then he commented on me eating so i didnt want to anymore. then i fought with him again so i went outside to the porch and texted you."
"holy fucking shit j," ava says with her hand covering her mouth. "i had no idea, i feel like an idiot, im so fucking sorry." a tear falls from her cheek onto the couch, and she wraps both her arms around my waist. i put mine around her neck and sob into the crevice of her shoulder.
"im sorry, its stupid im fucking crying," i say trying to wipe my tears. "that was a lot and it made no sense, but i wouldnt of been able to say it unless i said it quickly, you know?"
she lets go of the hug and places my face into her hands. "hey! you arent stupid, you are a person struggling with emotions of love, anxiety and depression."
i let tears stream out of me like a waterfall, while feeling ashamed yet heard.
"you know the year ten thing..." i begin.
"wow julia dont bring that up if you dont want!" she starts, "i know thats hard to bring up ok?"
"no no its okay, i just... im scared its going to happen ag- again, and ill end up broken... again."
she narrows her eyes to me and wraps her arms of closure around me once more, i feel protected and let myself feel all the emotions ive been needing to.
"you are not your past, i mean that, and matt is kind, it would never happen again," she says into my hair. "im going to be here for you forever, dont forget that j."
"i know, and im thankful. i just dont want it to happen again, i cant do it again, you know? i was just so broken after it."
"hey! if you dont want it to - it wont!" she says still holding me in her arms. "youve got me so you arent going to ever feel like you did in tenth grade again."
"i love you ava."
"i know," she says smiling.
. . . . . ╰──╮✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*╭──╯ . . . . .
flashback
tenth grade - julias pov
"please stop jake!" i slur.
his body feels like a million weights not letting me breathe or escape.
"please get off me jake!" i scream.
he forces his hand over my mouth, "shut up bitch."
"i dont want to do this... please!" i cry out.
my brain is foggy, ive had too much alcohol, that was forced on me by jake. now his body is on me, and i cant escape. i stop feeling anything the second it happens. i let tears rumble out of me. sound is gone. vision is gone. feelings are gone. i feel broken into a million tiny pieces all over the floor.
"GET THE FUCK OFF HER JAKE!" chris yells from the door. suddenly im snapped back into the presence of this trauma.
matt runs over and shoves him onto the floor, repeatedly punching him.
"please stop! matt!" i cry out.
nick comes to the side of me and helps me up from the bed. im stumbling everywhere, mascara dripping, feelings running out of me like water. "nick..." i sob. his arms are tightly around me and hes saying things to me that i can make out. chris comes up the other side of me and helps nick walk me out of the room. i turn to see matt standing over jake.
"matt please leave him, come on!" i call out, slurring every other syllable.
suddenly matts foot meets jakes stomach, repeatedly. i pull out of nick and chris' grasp and run to matt, with his back turned to me, i tug the back of his jumper.
"matt please stop!"
"he fucking deserves it julie, no one can hurt you ever!" he screams.
the noise shocks me and i fall into nicks arms. i sob and sob watching.
"alright thats enough matt, hes had enough," nick says pulling him back.
matt turns around, and something in his mind switches. matts back.
he comes over to me quickly, placing his arms around my waist. i cry into his chest and hold him tightly.
suddenly a quiet voice speaks up from the ground below, "shes fucking fat and ugly anyway!" jake yells.
matt begins to pace over to him, but i grab the back of his shirt, tugging him back to me. "its not worth it matty." i sob.
"lets get you out of here j," chris mumbles.
the three boys escort me out of the room, out of the party, into the minivan, i fall asleep on the way home, crying. but soon enough im back at their house. in matts bedroom.
he pulls the blanket up to my chin and picks up a pillow and places it on the floor.
"what are doing matt?" i slur once again, still drunk.
"im sleeping on the floor, i dont want you to have to share a bed after that julie."
"matt.." i begin.
"yeah?"
"id feel better if you slept next to me, if thats okay?" i ask quietly.
"are you sure julie? i dont mind?"
"im sure."
he smiles and places the pillow back on his side of the bed. he climbs in and looks at me to make sure im ok.
"matt..."
"yes?"
"do you believe what jake said?"
"what?" he says worriedly.
"that im fat and ugly."
"never. youre beautiful julie."
i smile and look at him for a little too long. he reaches over and plants a kiss on my forehead.
"i love you matt"
"i love you more julie, youre going to be okay."
a week later
"im really worried about her chris, she wont eat anything, and shes been wearing long sleeves for the past week. somethings just off," matt says.
"ive noticed she's off too," nick chimes in.
"i just dont know what we can do to help you know?" chris adds.
"i just love her, i dont want her to think she cant reach out to us," matt says shyly.
"yeah," chris agrees.
flashback over
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
avaisaqt
liked by julialuvsyou, chrispycreme, minivanmatt and 6,935 others
avaisaqt blessed to have james back from college and my best friend over. my love goes out to everyone who has supported julia through these tough times, we love u!
tagged - jamesbriggs, juliaisaqt
user james is so....
user lilia!!! i live for ur finsta shit
julialuvsyou ily best friend
↳ chrispycreme i see how it is
↳ dojanickpurr ill just die then ig??
↳ julialuvsyou dw i love all of u shut up 😒
↳ avaisaqt jus not as much as me :p
jamesbriggs glad to be home lil sis
↳ avaisaqt ❤️
user julie is so effortlessly pretty tf
user is james her brother?
↳ user ya i think sooo
user avas finsta content 🛐
user stop why do i immediately ship julia and james.... j+j🤪
↳ user no imma matt and julia shipper til i die bitch
💌
holy shit guys im sobbing
that was my first time writing a serious issue like that, so if i got anything wrong, or if someones uncomfortable let me know and ill change it :)
so basically i miss matt and julia and its been one day....
sorry i made avas brother, james, face claim johnny orlando..... but i love johnny so idc
praying for julia rn shes like my vent girl
ily all please comment and vote bye bye
- ari