~ 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙖𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝘼𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙄𝙣 𝘽𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙.
~ 𝙊𝙧 𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙟𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩𝙮 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙖𝙣-𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.
What if is Arisu was the only survivor?
Summary: Arisu makes it back to the place he first arrived: Shibuya. He then reminisces about friends and enemies alike, and how he could've saved them from their deaths.
Arisu trudged slowly through the deserted and overgrown Shibuya.
However many months ago, the city would've been teeming with life and laughter.
Grown-ups doing last minute shopping before they finally got to go home and see their partners and children after a hard day at work, or students walking together in groups, grabbing a coffee, and just enjoying their adolescence before the stress of adulthood took over.
Yet the fondest moment by far for Arisu was when his friends decided to drag him out of his bedroom and take him to have some fun, and hell he was glad they did.
All the fun times they had shared. Running around like no one was watching, him on Karube's shoulders with Chota speeding up to try and keep up with the others stamina.
Getting yelled at for laughing to loudly as they ate ramen and talked about anything and everything they could think of, (they never did run out of things to talk about. As soon as one conversation ended, another would arise just as quickly.)
He would never forget the way the two looked at him during these times, eyes filled with adoration and support. That was the exact moment he knew he was never going to be alone, with them by his side, he could get through anything.
But then again, that was all they were. Memories.
They were nice to remember, and he would replay them over and over in his mind like a broken record.
He revels in these memories, lying on the uncomfortable concrete ground, pretending it was the opposite- his own bed.
Instead of walking around alone, he would imagine he was still with his friends, new and old.
He would talk to them, laugh with them, cry with them. Why should he care if people stared at him? There was no one to judge him anyway, no one to think he was crazy.
No, they were all dead.
He really thought he could survive this mess, him and everyone else, and that they would all find a way to get back to the real world, forget all about this and maybe even become friends with the people he couldn't before.
He collapses on a dirty bench, letting his legs rest after what felt like years have walking. All he could do was stare hopelessly at the surroundings. How did he manage to end up in this place? Everything was going so well...
Chishiya had warned him about this though, he shouldn't have garnered such high hopes about the situation. Usagi had always been positive, he recalled.
She had shown it multiple times throughout their little adventure, the best being when they were playing the Queen of Spade's game: Tag.
Lisa had nearly caught the two of them, and then they would've had to stay in that horrible place for all eternity, just because he was her type.
In the end though, that wasn't the way things turned out, all because of Usagi. With her quick thinking, she had managed to persuade every single player- including the queen's own, to hold their heads high and charge towards freedom.
Usagi- his Usagi, was very beautiful. Her short silky hair that flowed perfectly in the wind, her impeccable climbing skills that shocked even the stone-faced An, the way she would trust her own instincts and abilities, and hers alone.
Last but certainly not least, her eyes. He shining, hazel brown eyes.
Filled to the brim with admiration for those around her, rarely showing fear, but sometimes holding sadness or guilt when she had to leave strangers she knew she couldn't help.
Arisu knew she had trouble trusting people because of one of their late night tent talks.
She had told him, that when you got attached to a person, it suddenly became harder (sometimes unbearable) to let them go.
And yet she still tried to save everyone she could.
What was even more bitter sweet for the black haired boy, is that, somehow, that distrusting personality slowly began to change when she met Arisu. He felt blessed to be the one she chose to believe in, the one she chose to trust.
The one she chose to spend even the last moments of her life with, until her last breath.
His eyes swell with tears as he puts his head in his trembling hands, trying to think of what he could possibly do to salvage the seemingly depressing situation he found himself in.
Another person he missed sorely was Tatta. At first, he didn't know why he had mourned his death so much, of course they were teammates, and blood loss was a horrible way to go- each second that passed feeling like an eternity as your life force seeped out of your body at an excruciatingly slow pace.
But it wasn't like he had known him since the beginning like Usagi.
After a few hours of thinking about it, (it wasn't like he had anywhere to be, or anyone to see) it clicked.
He felt stupid to not realize it earlier.
Chota and Tetta, they were very alike- scarily so, even down to their common mannerisms.
The way both of them would play with their hands when they were anxious, or the way their lips quirked up slightly at the corners when something was going their way.
Arisu feels like screaming.
The way he died was definitely unfair compared to psychopaths like Niragi. As far as Arisu was concerned, the pierced boy could've died ten times over and wouldn't have cared.
But- as much as he wanted that statement to be the truth, it just wasn't.
Like Usagi, he lived and thrived on helping people, whether that meant healing people on Call Of Duty, or helping them complete and escape a game they could potentially die in.
The only difference was that this time, the video games were no longer video games.
They were reality.
So was the weight of not just your own, but others lives pushing down on your shoulders, worse than that, there was no restart button.
Once you failed, you were dead.
And like the complete and utter fool he was, he had tried to save Niragi. Even if he had his flaws, bad ones, there was just no way Arisu could live happily with the guilt of someone's life perched atop his shoulder.
He had experienced the feeling before, with Karube and Chota.
The emotion usually expressed itself in two ways: the first was that of an anchor being dropped into sea.
Sinking lower and lower in his stomach until it hit rock bottom, a place of which no one could ever escape.
The second was the more painful of the two, he thought.
This was a feeling of dread, a sharp, stinging pain in his stomach, almost like something was trying to claw it's way out of him, ripping him open from the inside.
There really was no absolute way to compare which was worse though.
Yes, the second may be more painful, but it only lasted a few minutes, until he finally calmed himself down. (Of course, no one else was alive to help.)
But the first lasted longer. This could be anything between a few hours or weeks, up towards months or years.
Someone with really terrible luck could have it until they died, only realizing as they took their last look around the place they were to die.
That was when the feeling began to emerge, drowning you.
Why the hell did he put his own life on the line to try and save someone as awful and vile as Niragi?
He could've left the asshole die. Should've left him to rot, and to wither.
Ann told him once that Niragi was a big stain on a clean sheet. Arisu never understood fully, but now he did. He really did.
He hated the fact he still cried when the man died. He hated that he missed hearing his ear-bleeding laugh- even if it was only heard when he killed someone.
And most of all, he hated the fact that he knew he could've prevented his death if he tried hard enough.
So why didn't he?..
Not just Niragi's death either, Usagi, Chishiya, Kuina, Ann, Tatta, Aguni, Hatter, Heiya, everyone.
All of them were dead and there was nothing he could do about it. What was the point of stressing about it anyway? It wasn't in his control. But it could've been.
If he tried.
But he thought he had.
That was the problem.
Or- maybe he was the problem?
Was he?
There was nobody he could ask.
Arisu tries to distract himself from these thoughts by forcing himself to get up from the bench he was sitting on and hobble to the nearest shop he could find, hopefully to find some bandages for his wounded leg, which had stopped bleeding thankfully- but was starting to turn an ugly purple.
Realistically, there wasn't anything he could've done. (Another thing he was sure Ann would say.)
And deep down, he knew that. Yet the only thing he could just about visualize perfectly in his head was watching his friends (and enemies) die in front of him, everything else was blurry.
He finally finds a shop, and luckily it's a pharmacy. (He needs more of that these days.)
Arisu manages to walk inside, quite easily for the able-bodied, as it turns out the door had been ripped off its hinges an incredibly long time ago.
Who knew the world would turn to this without the law and order of the government?
The answer was everyone.
They were hopeless without someone to lead them, which is why places like
The Beach popped up, to restore it all.
To give the people someone to look up to, to get motivation from.
The Hatter was the leader of The Beach. All things aside, Arisu had to admit he had done a brilliant job of keeping the peace between players.
Is that what they had all got used to calling themselves?
His death was something no one was prepared for, and it was even worse not knowing how he died.
Him and Usagi has suspected it was just a game he couldn't beat at first, but when Ann found the bullet, they both noticed Aguni fidget a bit more than he normally did.
He was sure Chishiya noticed too, but he didn't say anything as he would surely get them both into deep trouble, especially with the rest of The Militant's prowling around, eyeing them like hawks.
Aguni was definitely suspicious though, and he wouldn't rule Niragi out either, even though he doubted Niragi would be able to keep it a secret this long- everyone in The Beach knew of his opinions.
Not like many could get away from them, as he was intentionally loud in his talks, so unless you were lucky enough to be deaf whilst he was in the room, you would know exactly what he was thinking.
Considering the fact that prior to his new life Aguni had been an SDF officer, and Niragi a game designer, surely anyone with a brain would be able to compare the two and realize that Aguni was much more equipped for the job.
Mentally, or at least a little more mentally stable than Niragi.
Sadly, with the way his fellow Militant acted whilst he was in the Borderlands, it made the investigation a lot harder.
No one actually found out who killed Hatter, except the killer of course.
Arisu was sure he shouldn't think too hard about it, they were both dead anyway, so even if the answer smacked him square in the nose, he wouldn't get any satisfaction from it.
No praise, or credit.
He sees a counter to his left, and reaches an injured hand to grab onto it, but as he does this, his legs give way, causing him to fall to the slippery black floor with a yelp.
The floor wasn't supposed to be black. It was usually a clean polished white, or pearl if you knew your colors.
'How long must I have been here-' he thinks, not bothering (he didn't have any energy left to care) to clamber off of the ground. 'to turn the tiles black?'
He was sure someone smart would be able to figure it out though. Someone like Chishiya, or Ann.
Thinking about it more, the blonde probably wouldn't care enough, the apathetic bastard, so that just left the former Number Six herself.
Arisu didn't know what the girl had done before The Borderlands, she must've never fully trusted him, and with good reason.
But one thing was for certain, she was one smart woman.
His first proper interaction with her was in one of the games, (ironic, that was where their last interaction took place to) but that was back when he didn't actually realize how much he looked up to her.
The way that she spoke calmly when there was water ruining her shorts, getting closer and closer to the electrical wires that could kill them all.
What astounded Arisu though, is the fact she could've cleared the game easily, and even began telling them all what percentage they had of surviving.
He couldn't move. He wouldn't. What was the point, really? These words rang around in his head, making sure to torture him with the events that had occurred.
Maybe, just maybe, he could build up enough strength to go back to where Niragi and Chishiya lay dead and try to find a gun-
(to be honest, Arisu had a small inkling in his mind that persuaded him to think the pair weren't just enemies.)
The way they looked at each other was just too- too intimate for that.
They might've hooked up at The Beach whilst drunk, or they may have just been enemies, but it was not his place to pry, even if he knew that he couldn't ask them.)
-to shoot himself with.
Now that was something he found comforting, the sweet, sweet voice in his head telling him that it was all going to be over.
All over, but only once he had found that stupid gun Niragi carried around everywhere with it.
He and Kuina had joked that Aguni had given the boy the gun because he knew he couldn't be trusted with an actual human to partner with.
But the cons of this would be that Niragi would become a bit too independent on that gun.
And that's how Arisu felt right now.
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Istg this page took me ages to proof read- :D