"You said that?" Madaline exasperates as we take a break from running five laps around our school track. I lean down to place my hands on my knees and catch my breath. Coach didn't allow walking- not even speed walking. Jogging and running were the only two acceptable options.
I hold up a hand to tell her give me a second and let me intake more than five breaths of oxygen. Once I'm fully able to talk, I glance up at her with a sort of pride. "Yep."
Madaline matches my pride and we fist bump as coach blows his whistle at us. I take in a big breath of oxygen before getting back onto the track with Madaline by my side. We're on our last lap which is a blessing. Everyone else is already ahead of us because they didn't take breaks after every lap like Madaline and I un-shamefully did.
"Seriously, Nol," Madaline chides, "I'm proud of you. Even if it was in the spur of the moment- you did it. You said what you needed to."
I smile gratefully at my best friend as we complete our last lap. Shouting at my parents in pent up frustration and annoyance wasn't my plan, but everything I felt spilled rapidly from my lips. There was a hint of regret but that was it. Just a hint. The weight I usually felt on my shoulders seemed to have lifted almost immediately. There was no more holding back my true thoughts and feelings when all it did was cause complications to my life. My parents couldn't see that. They didn't see it, so I had to make them.
Crying and breaking down like a little girl who's balloon popped wasn't apart of my plan either, but the tear conduct that stayed glued behind my eyes decided to flood open. That also felt relieving to me. Crying is something I rarely did and I forgot it's something that everyone does. The circumstance doesn't matter- everyone cries. Wether in silence or out in the open.
My dad was speechless yet again and it seemed justifying. He shouldn't have had anything to say. Processing first is his best bet. My mom cried, but there was a sense of pride behind her neutral eyes.
"Earth to Nolan," Madaline waves her water bottle in front of my face, "are you going to pass out from dehydration or drink some water before coach makes us do something else?"
I smile sheepishly in apology for being so deep in my thoughts. It happens way too often now. I grab my water bottle from the bleachers and chug down the drink, the cool liquid sliding down my throat. I tilt my head back with a sigh, feeling much better than I did ten seconds ago. My eyes catch two figures sitting on the very top of the bleachers; it takes my eyes a short second to adjust and see that it's Scarlette and Jackson. I point them out to Madaline who decides to go up to them.
I follow after her, my water bottle still clutched in my hand. Scarlette and Jackson are in a deep conversation while smoking, their hands passing back and forth the death stick. Jackson notices us first but his eyes linger on Madaline more than me. Maybe it's because she's in front of me or he has the feelings. Either way, Madaline gives him one of her best smiles before reaching them completely. Jackson nods towards me and that's when Scarlette gives us her attention.
She must see me eyeing the cigarette because she takes it from Jackson's hands and throws it down the crack of the bleachers. It lands in the grass and everyone ignores it as we jump into a small conversation. I contribute very little as my eyes keep jumping to Scarlette. Her hair is down and flowing down her back with a few strands escaping over shoulders. She has new earrings that shimmer when the wind blows them, and her usual gold rings. My eyes slowly move down to admire how her outfit fits her perfectly. Green, I think while looking at her converses. Her favorite color.
I trail my eyes back up to see Scarlette staring back at me. Her eyes don't meet mine as she takes in my black joggers matched with scruffy shoes and a dark blue jacket. After a moment she looks back up to meet my eyes and hers hold no traces of embarrassment. Even if I caught her staring back at me. We stay like that- just staring at each other until I give in and motion to a spot where we could talk without bothering our friends. She nods and we separate from them without a word.
When we get to a far enough spot, I turn around with less confidence then before. Scarlette stays silent and waits for me to start.
"Hi," I start.
"Hey," she responds just as quickly.
I bite my lip in anticipation before saying, "Um, so, I wanted to talk about what you said on Friday."
Scarlette nods but I can tell that she doesn't know exactly what I'm talking about. That's technically my fault, I was pretty vague. I mean she said thousands of things on Friday. I try to find the right words to explain what I want to say. Ever since Sunday, I feel like I can say anything. Do anything. With a little push of help.
"Julie's not my girlfriend," I start off, "and I honestly don't like her in that way."
"So you've said," Scarlette responds disbelievingly.
"Seriously!" I try to defend myself, "I know you may not believe me because I've given you many reasons not to, but it's true. Julie isn't the one I like in that way, and I've been putting on this act to be the pleaser. For my parents, and the church... and maybe even myself."
Scarlette nods along to my rant, not wanting to interrupt me until she's sure I'm done.
"I've tested your feelings for me, and you kept trying. Seeing me and Julie at the movies was probably the last straw, but I didn't mean for it to hurt you. I didn't think and that's my issue but...I'm...I'm just sorry," I end my rant.
"Okay," Scarlette answers after my rant.
"Okay?" I retort while looking at her with a little hope. Scarlette nods, her gaze locked on me. "So you'll stop ignoring me?"
Scarlette tilts her head in apparent confusion, her eyes now traveling up and down my face. I stare back at her in equal confusion because her cluelessness confused me. It's silent between us- both of us trying to figure out why the other is confused.
"What are you talking about?" Scarlette eventually questions.
"What do you mean?" I exasperate, "no more smiles or flirting, or teasing, or the nice touches and nicknames."
Scarlette keeps her head tilted but there's a smile turning into a smirk on her face. I blush as I indirectly admit that I like and miss all those things. My face is flushed a light pink and I turn around to pat my cheeks for a second. Scarlette laughs at my attempt and I smile while still turned around.
"Alright, sweetheart, turn around so I can ogle your face," Scarlette muses, but I ignore her tone as I turn around eagerly. She may have been joking around but she called me a nickname. The nickname that kind of started everything. Well, besides clumsy and church boy.
"So, we're okay?"
"We're okay," she confirms.
"Good," I exclaim, "will you go on a date with me?"
Scarlette looks surprised at the sudden, bold question. The last time she asked me on an official date, I said I couldn't then ran for the freaking hills. That's the worst kind of rejection and I berated myself for it for the rest of the day. Now it's me that's asking her on a date and she has more than enough reason to say no, but I couldn't help myself. After being bold enough to speak against my dad, I need to do what I've been wanting to. Without fears and regrets. I get out of my head and watch Scarlette analyze my face.
I twist my hands together causing my fingers to interlock in weird ways. My tiny dimples show as I try to give her my best smile and sway her decision. Scarlette deadpans her expression and my smile drops in worry. It doesn't last as Scarlette laughs while walking up to me. Her hand caresses my cheek in the spot that my dimples show, then pulls away.
"Sure. I'll go on a date."
"With me?"
"Did anyone else ask? I might have to consider," she teases which makes me shake my head. I hope no one else asks her. Not before I show her how I really, truly feel. "Then yeah, with you."
I try to contain my joy and not back-flip down the silver bleachers. Scarlette smiles, equally sharing my happiness. She's doing a better job at containing it then me. Madaline interrupts the moment by yelling at me, saying we have to go back. I visibly frown, not wanting to go yet. Having coach give me ten laps next class seems worth it. Scarlette ushers me away with the promise of seeing each other after school. That reminded me that I never set a date for the actual date. Scarlette promised to see me after school, so maybe the date should happen today.
I say bye to her and Jackson who also looks pretty happy. His usual cool expression is pushed to the back as he looks contempt. I'll have to ask Maddy about that later. We get to the bottom of the bleachers at the same time coach walks up to them. He looks suspicious but doesn't question us when he sees our water bottles back in our hand. He must think we're two teenagers that need one, thirty minute water break on top of the five breaks we took during running.
"Get out of here. Everybody else is inside except you two," he complains before looking up to see Scarlette and Jackson on the bleachers. They wave down at us and coach grumbles before walking away completely. Madaline and I laugh as we wave to our friends slash crushes slash potential lovers. We leave the track and fields quickly after that, since we have a townhall meeting that starts soon.
"Showers?" Madaline asks as we walk into the cold building. It contrasts the heat we felt outside- causing a small shiver to run down my back. It always makes me look like I'm glitching.
"Um, yes," I answer. Smelling of sweat later when I see Scarlette? Huge no.
"Okie dokie. Meet back in the halls in ten?"
"Yep," I answer before walking into the boys locker room. It's empty by now which gave me access to the secluded showers. Plus, the guys are chumps and use any excuse to look at and mock your manhood; I'm glad to be alone. I shower with my own soaps and dry off in a little over five minutes. I may have tripped over a couple benches while hopping around to pull on my pants- but no one besides me needs to know that.
My hands ache, slightly, from banging into the lockers while trying to catch myself. I ignore it and pack up my stuff before tredging to the halls, to see Madaline there with slightly wet hair. We take one good look at each other before deciding to not speak about what went down in our showers. I hold my arm out and she links her arm with mine before we slump our way to the senior auditorium.
It's already bustling with people when we enter, all the back and front seats taken up. Madaline and I find a good spot near the middle back, so we won't be too close for participation and not too much in the back where chaos happens. A couple more people flow in before the doors officially shut and the senior meeting begins. I immediately zone out- my thoughts full of Scarlette and the date that I initiated.
I don't regret it one bit, but blurting it out like that probably wasn't the best. What if she doesn't like what I have planned? I think i'd die if that was the case. Trying not to psych myself out too much, I get back to thinking. I think about everything that Scarlette's ever told me. All her likes and dislikes and things she thought were cringe, but wouldn't mind experiencing.
My eyes go wide and I sit up with a new excitement buzzing throughout my body. I know exactly what to do, and I think she'll like it. I just have to put it all together without her figuring it out. After all, she's going to be my ride. And it's all going down at her house.