Everett glared balefully at the troop of monkeys who had stolen his ice cream cone. They chattered away noisily inside their sanctuary, feasting like kings.
"How did they get that?" he exclaimed. "It was here one minute and then the next it was gone!"
I shrugged. "Maybe you shouldn't have leaned against the bars, dude."
"But how could I have known they just steal things from whoever leans against the bars?"
I pointed. "Because there's a sign right there reading 'Please refrain from leaning on the bars; the monkeys can, and will, rob you.'"
"I thought it was a meme."
I rolled my eyes. "Idiot."
He pouted. "Don't be mean, haven't I already suffered enough? I'm ice-cream-less."
"You can have mine," I offered, handing it to him.
"Ew no, you licked all over it."
"Oh right." I paused. "That was kind of gross of me to offer actually, sorry."
Everett snorted. "Nah, it's good. Hand it over."
He took a large bite—also, what the hell, who bites their ice cream—and handed it back to me.
"Er- you can finish it," I said.
"No, that's fine, have some more," he encouraged.
"No it's really quite alright." I started heading down a winding path.
He narrowed his eyes. "Why, what's wrong with it?"
"It's kind of gross actually." I grinned. "I mean, who shares ice cream?"
"Hey you're the one who offered first!" Everett objected.
He shoved me playfully as I started laughing. "I didn't even lick it like you did; I bit it politely."
His lips turned up at the corners, his smile a hollow-point bullet expanding on impact. All this time, I had wrongfully believed his smile to be nothing but innocuous. It was cheerful and brighter than the sun, sure. But it was also lethal and deadly, able to penetrate through anything. The kind that could explode a bulletproof heart.
The path narrowed down the further we walked. A gentle breeze shook the trees that lined either side of it, creating a shady avenue. There didn't seem to be anyone else around.
Everett suddenly grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back.
"What?" I asked
Eyes wide, he pointed.
In the distance, fluffy white dots littered the area beneath the trees. Several of them ambled along the path and blocked our way.
"Are those..."
"Sheep!" Everett exclaimed. "There's so many of them!"
He rushed closer, pulling me along.
"Aaah, I don't think we're supposed to touch them," I started, already knowing my warning was futile.
"But they're so soft and fluffy, like happy little clouds," Everett sang, crouching and petting a little lamb.
It bleated cutely and then tried to bite his finger.
I snickered as he pulled away in shock, cradling his wounded hand against his chest.
"It's not funny, Clementine," he admonished as my laughing grew. "I could've actually died."
I snorted. "Dramatic much."
"You don't know what it feels like to be lulled into a false sense of security only to have your fingers almost ripped apart by what you thought was a happy cloud of pure joy."
He keeps referring to the sheep as happy clouds and it's just too darned cute.
I caught myself replaying my earlier conversation with Jamie and shook my head.
This was not a date, it was simply...homework.
We left the sheep pasture and walked towards a more crowded area. Everett wanted to see if there were any more animals roaming about, but all the rest were safely confined in sanctuaries.
We went to see the giraffes and then hung around watching the baby elephants being fed. Everett started talking to the zookeeper as she finished up feeding time.
"It must be awesome to work here!"
"Yeah!" the girl exclaimed. She had a wide smile and a smattering of freckles over her nose. "I get to feed all the baby animals, how cool is that?"
"Very cool...Ellie?" Everett asked, reading her name tag.
"Yup! I picked Ellie cause it sounds like elephant, and I like elephants." She beamed.
"I think it's really cute how you guys have sheep that are allowed to just roam about freely," Everett enthused.
Ellie's eyes widened. "What?" she demanded before she grabbed her walky-talky and ran.
"Oops." Everett looked back at me contritely. "I didn't mean to narc on those sheep."
"Yeah man, you're nothing but a snitch."
"Well, that lamb did bite me," he said.
"Definitely a safety hazard," I agreed.
We walked around till closing time, talking so much that I didn't even feel the hours go by. When we finally left, Everett insisted that I sing in the car with him on the way back.
"I really can't sing that well," I admitted, pulling on my seatbelt.
"It doesn't have to be good; come on, it'll be fun."
"It's really not good at all. Besides, I have to concentrate on driving."
"Sing with me, sing with me," he chanted, poking me until I lost about half my will to live.
"Alright, alright fine." I cleared my throat and joined in the chorus of his next song.
He stopped after two lines. "God, Clementine, you're actually really bad at that."
"You said it didn't have to be good," I objected, feeling a little stung.
"Well yeah, it doesn't have to be good. I just didn't expect it to be quite so bad."
I glared at him. "I gave you your fair warning."
"I thought you were just being modest."
"Well now that I've started, I can't stop," I said defiantly. "I have no choice but to sing all the way to your house."
"Do you not care for the safety of my ears, Clementine?"
"Not really, no."
Everett teased me mercilessly about my singing until I pulled up in front of his house, but I retaliated by further destroying his hearing.
He hesitated for a moment before he got down.
"I had a nice date with you," Everett said as he was opening the car door.
"Uh, I'll see you later," I replied numbly.
Date?? Did he just say date?
He smiled at me and gave a small wave before running into the house.
I stared after him for a long moment, wondering whether I had misheard. Date sounded a lot like day...I think he just said he had a nice day.
The lines had started to blur in my mind. I reminded myself that this whole ruse came from a dumb bet, and Everett's boredom at the cafe. We weren't really dating the past six years; I hadn't even known him till two weeks ago. It's not like we were actually together.
And this had not been an actual date.
Like if Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance is literally the best song ever!!
If you haven't heard it, I've added the video to the beginning of this chapter ;)
A/n: like reading about fake dating scenarios? You might enjoy this novella by authorelizasolares :)
In historical Spain, two strangers manage to escape engagements they don't want. Pretending to be married gives him purpose and her protection. But it won't be enough to evade their powerful fathers for long.