A/N lol.
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"Dinner time you ugly shits! We're having 'pasta', heh."
I ignore Zalgo's telepathic call as I sit in my room trying to teach Hobo Hearte how to play video games. Even Spyro was on the ground next to Hobo, nudging his arms trying to get him to hold the dumb controller correctly.
"I think... Volcano man is calling us..." Hobo murmured, sounding a bit unnerved by Zalgo.
I sigh while removing the controller from his head for the fifth time, "You can go if you want, but I'm staying here with Spyro."
"You don't wish to eat then?"
"I'll just eat later or something."
Clearly he's not very aware of Zalgo literally being our biggest enemy and all, but I can't blame him since he wasn't here the last time.
"I guess I'll go take part in the cannibalism," Hobo Hearte said casually, getting up in the floor and heading for the door. I stare at him with a utterly confused expression until I realized Zalgo said we were having 'pasta', and Hobo got confused.
I decided to stop being a wuss and just get up and join everyone else. I pick up Spyro cause he isn't that big and catch up with Hobo Hearte and go downstairs with him, yet I stay behind him the whole time.
I see everyone else filing into the living room, most all of them looking rather discouraged. It was strangely quiet, unlike what I'm used to when everyone rushes into the dining room for food. Everyone was giving each other awkward glances and quiet stares.
Zalgo was already at the table wearing Slender's cooking apron and smiled widely once he saw us all coming it. "Oh good, pastas, you're all just in time! Wonderful~."
The table was nicely set up like it was some sort of fancy restaurant.
"Who the fuck are you playing, Zalshit?" Jeff snarled, stepping up to a chair and glaring at the fancy plate of pasta before him. "Oh I'm not playing anything Jeffrey. Can't I make the place look nice for my new family?"
"We're not your family bruh," Vix snapped at him, "you literally used us and then killed us. You killed (Y/N)."
A wave of agreement broke out over everyone who was gathered. Zalgo rolled his eyes and waved his hand at us, "That was the past! Things are different now, really..."
"I agree!" Splendor spoke up clapping his hands together, "I think Zalgo is trying his hardest to be a good guy and I'm proud of him for doing that. I trust my Slendy-brother and if he thinks Zalgo is good enough to be here then I'm fine with that!"
"What do you not get about he killed (Y/N), Splendor Father!?" Judge Angels sneered, slamming her palm on the table. "That's enough guys. Let's just...relax and eat..." Jane sighed, slowly taking her seat. It was a moment of great hesitation before everyone copied Jane, gradually taking their seats in silence.
I was about to follow Hobo Hearte and sit next to him cause why not when someone's startled exclamation from behind me startled me.
I turned seeing Puppeteer standing at the entrance to the dining room staring at Zalgo with wide eyes wrought with disbelief.
...Well, this can't be good.
Zalgo glanced to him and grinned, "Oh good, Puppeteer. I finally get to see you. Come have a seat hm~?."
Dollmaker, who was next to Puppet looked at his friend nervously, "Eh....Puppet...teer...?"
"What's....he...doing here.............."
Zalgo rolled his eyes, "Long story—we already discussed this earlier though so I guess you should've been present."
Puppeteer was fidgeting with rising fury while clenching his fists and his eyes started to glow. His golden strings started to form around him and he started walking towards Zalgo, "YOU—"
Before Puppeteer could advance or even finish his sentence, tendrils wrap all around him, cutting off his strings and covering his mouth. "Down boy. Maybe you should skip out on this one till someone can calmly explain to you what's going on..." OffenderMan sighed, starting to drag Puppeteer away.
Puppeteer fought it but he couldn't do anything about Offender's grasp on him, so Dollmaker just awkwardly turned and followed them as Offender dragged Puppeteer away.
"What an animal," Zalgo shrugged, casually taking a seat at the head of the table.
I walk up to the table and the only seat left is the one on the left of Zalgo, just my luck.
Zalgo looks at me and smiles, "Take a seat, Walker~. We're having spaghetti. A dish I'd like to call..."General Spaghetti~.""
'Oh hardy har har how fucking hilarious...'
Before I could respond, Spyro hisses loudly in my arms and Zalgo recoiled, glaring at my lizard in disgust. "If you don't mind...please stop bringing your filthy pets to the table...it's gross."
"Excuse me?" I heard Laufey scoff; he was holding some sort of big green gecko I found for him the other day. "If that snow monkey Jeff gets to stay why is it a problem for a small lizard?"
Jeff glared at Laufey and snapped, "If Eyeless fucking Jack who literally acts like a damn cat gets to stay here then Smile and Spyro and all these other weird animals can stay too???"
Jack looked over at Jeff and stood up before slapping him hard across the face, causing Jeff to gasp and collapse onto the floor. Kagekao and Former's "PFFFFT—" was the only noise in the room as everyone looked at where Jeff collapsed in silence.
Zalgo....just seemed downright amused by all of this.
At least he wasn't yelling like Slenders would have...
...I still miss Slender...
"Enough nonsense at the table folks! Let's settle down and eat shall we...?" Trender sounded tired as he rubbed his head.
I hesitantly take the seat next to Zalgo still holding on to Spyro.
I feel someone nudging my arm and look to see Skully there. "Want to switch seats General (Y/N)? I'll sit by the menace for you."
I shook my head, "Thanks Skully, I appreciate you but I've got Spyro so it's all good."
"(Y/N), your lizard is consuming my food."
I quickly turn and see that Spyro had went ahead and helped himself to Zalgo's plate of food, and Zalgo didn't seem too pleased about it.
"Am I sorry about it though.......? Welllllllllllllllllll........" I slowly raise my shoulders with an awkward smile. "Watch it, Walker," Zalgo narrowed his eyes before snatching his plate away from Spyro.
Spyro somehow managed to look smug about it, and even went on smacking his mouth.
I glance around the table and see that everyone was either eating quietly or picking at their food because they didn't trust Zalgo's cooking. Spyro enjoying Zalgo's plate of spaghetti was enough to convince me to eat, so I went ahead and took my time.
At some point I had eventually started shoveling my food quickly just to escape the table because the Zalgo started bothering me with questions and literally not any of the other 20+ people sitting at the table. It was embarrassing as fuck and people kept staring at me. I really just wanted to unleash Spyro on everyone at that point, out of frustration.
"So how's the "General Spaghetti", (Y/N)?" Zalgo asked, seeing that I was downing the food faster than before. "Why don't you ask Splendor, he's sitting right there?"
"I already know what Splendors going to say. "It's lovely oh my oh my!" Ugh..."
"But...it is...🤨" Splendor glared over at him.
"See what I mean?" Zalgo rolled his eyes.
"Lay off Splendor, would ya?" Nina growled, briefly using her fork and suddenly flicking some of her pasta sauce directly at Zalgo. Zalgo closed his eyes when the sauce hit him in the face, and ...well the room was already pretty much silent so nothing changed besides everyone glaring over at Zalgo with wide eyes.
"That's it," Zalgo growled, slowly standing up from the table, "I tried to be nice to you ungrateful freaks."
He suddenly grabbed the food from off of Splendor's plate with his whole hand and hurled it at Nina, splatting the pasta directly in her face. "No you fucking DID NOT!" Nina shouted, standing up in dismay as sauce and spaghetti slid down her face.
Nina went to grab a handful of food from her plate but Heartful Lou quickly grabbed her arm and tried to hold it down, "Think about this Nina. Do you really want to escalate things by retaliating?"
"HELL YEAH I DO. BITCH—"
She ripped her hand from Lou and hurled the food across the table at Zalgo, this time getting a mess all over his suit. "Food fight food fight!!!" Kagekao suddenly yelled, standing up and grabbing food from his own plate and from Lulu's who was next to him. "Kage don't!" Lulu whimpered.
"Everyone settle down, we are NOT doing this tonight!" Masky shouted, slamming his fist on the table. Kagekao immediately turned and threw his two servings full-force at Masky and caused Masky to tumble backwards on impact and fall along with his chair.
"I agree, let's have a fucking food fight!" Jeff shouted, suddenly grabbing Eyeless Jack's whole plate, kidneys and everything and slamming it all into EJ's face, causing everything to shatter on him. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!" Eyeless Jack broke into a demonic roar, his face turning corrupted and he grabbed Jeff's plate and smashed it over his head, then proceeding to jump on him.
"Knock it off you idiot, you always do this shit!" Jane yelled, though she was suddenly hit from behind by Kagekao and she slowly turned around, seething. "I've ...had ...enough of you people!" Jane hopped on the table and started throwing food at Kagekao's direction, which ended up hitting the pastas on each side of him. "Jane STOP!" Glitchy Red got up and threw his cup at her as food flew into his face. The cup smacked X-Virus in the head, which pissed X off who got up and threw multiple cups in Glitchy's direction, "You stupid fuck!"
Basically, people kept getting hit with flying food and objects and suddenly the whole entire table descended into downright chaos. Zalgo was on top of the table throwing food at pastas, Rogue grabbed an entire serving dish and clocked BEN into next Tuesday with the cover, Eyeless Jack was running around on all fours around the table trying to rip Jeff's hoodie to pieces which caused Smile, Grinny, and Paws to also run after Jack, Ticci Toby was trying to choke Former to his second death with a string of sausages, Liu—who I'm 100% honest was Sully—was repeatedly knocking Chris's head against the table while Chris screeched in agony, Laughing Jack was pelting candies at every single person until Kate snuck up behind him and poured a whole bucket of Kool-Aid over him, Candy Pop threw scattered pasta at Judge Angel's hair and Judge screamed in dismay before storming onto the table and charging at him with her sword, Azumi had set a plate on fire and hurled it at Zalgo but it ended up hitting ClockWork and her hair bursted into flames, Ritz ran around screaming "RITZZZZZZZZZ!!!!" while throwing ritz everywhere until Dr. Smiley smacked him in the face with a pot, Hoodie gave up trying to remain calm and hurled his chair at Dark Link who was threatening Bloody Painter with a knife, Dark Link ended up flying into Zero and they crashed into the table, which then I heard some part of the table snap on their impact, Pinkamena started screaming like a banshee and pulled out a literal rocket launcher that shot cupcakes and started blasting people to death, Hobo Hearte poured the rest of the food to be served on top of Jason The Toymaker's head, Laufey sat at his seat eating casually and feeding his lizard as if nothing was going on, Vix just laid on the floor facedown beneath Laufey's chair, Nightmare Ally remained traumatized by everything unfolding before her, and Sally sat at the table crying and cursing at everyone while she was covered from head to toe in tomato sauce and spaghetti noodles and she basically looked like a bad cosplay of Carrie at this point.
Skully sat beside me recording the whole entire thing until a toss from Nathan messed up his camera and Skully began ranting in utter disbelief that someone would have the audacity to ruin his precious camera footage, and he grabbed a pathetic table knife and jumped over the table at Nathan.
SpenderMan had completely lost it at the sight of the living room getting ransacked and began personally going around and bashing people over the head with his cane while shouting at the top of his lungs. SurrenderMan hugged his legs while he hid underneath table and TrenderMan had already dashed to save his clothing from getting dirtied. OffenderMan had just given up at that point and just used his tendrils to keep anything and everything from hitting him. TenderMan stood at the side 'watching' everything, knowing full well he was the one who had to clean it all up in the end. I know Tender doesn't have a face and is usually the calmest here, but I could literally feel the aura of him getting ready to descend into a huge psychotic breakdown.
SplendorMan was sitting seemingly calm at the table next to where Zalgo was still throwing stuff. He was smiling. (:
But.... the smile worried me. A lot.
It wasn't a nice smile.
There was something very off about that smile...
And I noticed over time it just ...
started to get wider
and wider
and
w i d e r.
...
Surprisingly enough, it was solely Splendor's facial expression that was the thing that finally got me to get up and excuse myself from the table.
I quickly picked up Spyro, then I dodged food and dashed over to where Lost Silver was sitting and panicking from the literal food war that was unraveling before us. I grabbed Silver, then took him and Spyro and skedaddled with them back to our room.
It was just when I closed the door to our room I felt the heaviest explosion of energy I've ever felt in my whole entire time in this crazy place, and every
single
sound downstairs instantly went silent.
I don't know what happened,
I don't want to know what happened,
but I'm gonna make a safe bet and say
Splendor killed them all.
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A/N:
Honestly guys, I'm starting to feel like I've been dragging on this book for too long. I know I was fed ideas but everything in here feels like it's getting lazy. Personally I feel like my work in this book is getting lazy and I don't know how to make it as fun and personable as it was in the beginning.