Zander
The sky darkens from a sky blue, to a warm orange, to eventually black as I go about doing odd jobs around the house that I've been putting off for months. Anything to keep me distracted.
I have never, ever been this consumed by a woman before. She is driving me fucking crazy.
After a shower and a change of clothes, I realise there is nothing I can do to dampen the need to go to her. To be there for her.
"Fuck it," I mutter, stomping over to my boots and shoving them on my feet.
Forcing myself to drink water and rinse my mouth, I feel a lot more sober than I did an hour ago.
"Come on," I say to Diesel, inclining my head toward the door.
Leaping to his feet, he trots happily beside me. We walk down the long driveway, the gravel crunching underneath each of my steps. The night air washes over my skin and through my hair.
It's not a long walk to the hotel. I don't pass a single car or other person as I do.
Knocking softly on the door, I step back and wait a few moments. It swings open and a blood-shot eyed, blonde haired-beauty blinks back at me. My stomach does a weird, uncomfortable thing that I'd like to think is some sort of indigestion or side-effects of drinking too many shots. Definitely not a reaction to seeing her.
"Hi, Angel."
Offering me a watery smile, she sniffles. "Hi, Cowboy."
Bending at the knees, she reaches forward and scratches Diesel behind the ear. He pants happily, rubbing his head against her hand.
"Want to come over?"
"I'm a mess."
"That doesn't bother me."
"I look terrible."
"I think you look beautiful."
Smiling, she rubs her face, nodding. "Okay. Just a sec."
"Take your time."
She disappears into the small room. The humming of pipes sound and I lean against the door frame, surveying the other small, dingy hotel rooms. It's a quiet, safe place here but on the outside, it looks totally run down. A place where desperate people come to stay, even if it is the only hotel here.
A scent of sweet lavender fills my nose as she steps out, dressed in tight black shorts and a loose t-shirt that hangs off her shoulder. Her long hair tumbles down her back in messy waves. Some of the puffiness has cleared from her face.
"How's your dad?" I ask, collecting her bag and folding it between my side and my arm.
Blowing out a breath, she walks heavily beside me, her shoes scuffing along the dirt.
"Okay, from the fall. A few cuts and bruises. It's the cancer that's the problem."
My feet have stopped before my mind catches up with what she said. When she keeps walking, I slowly follow her, the words she just spoke whirling around inside my head.
"Shit," I mutter. "You found out tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Does Nathan know?" I question.
"Yep. He has known since I've been back."
"Oh."
A sad, heaviness fills me at the thought of her being around them so much and being totally clueless. My mouth opens a few times, but I don't know what to say. Instead, I slowly slide my arm around her shoulders. She sighs, leaning into me, placing her head on my arm.
When we get to the house, I direct her to the lounge. She collapses onto it, as I go about making us tea. As I move around the kitchen, a consistent vibration fills the air.
"Is that Nathan?" I ask her, walking toward her and lowering the mug onto the coffee table. I place mine beside her and sit down. She draws her legs up, hugging her arms around them as she lightly rocks back and forth.
Reaching for her phone, she flips it and stares down at the screen. "No, it's my friends."
"They send you a lot of messages."
"Yeah. Well. It's my birthday."
Blinking at her, I say nothing as she leans forward and takes a tentative sip of her tea, before placing it gently back down.
"Oh. Okay. That's good to know," I say.
"Yeah." She laughs. "I don't like making a big deal out of it."
"Clearly," I chuckle, leaning back into the lounge, propping my legs up. "I respect that. I'm the same."
"My mum used to do this weird thing every year. Like she would get upset that I had the spotlight so she would go out of her way to organise something special for herself on my birthday. So. Yeah. I guess I just got good at pretending I never had one."
"That's rough. I'm sorry."
"The more time I spend here, the more I realise she totally brainwashed me into thinking things about this town and the people here. I think most of it was a lie, but sometimes ... like now ... when my brother never told me the truth. I wonder how much of it was."
"Well. You're here now. You get to decide that for yourself."
A soft smile flickers across her face. "That's true."
When we finish our drinks, taking her hand in mine, I lead her to my room. She crawls into it, her long hair trailing over the edge of the mattress. It seems so unusual to have someone else here. I'm always alone. That's how it has been for as long as I can remember.
Settling into the place beside her, I roll onto my side, so that we are facing each other. Trailing her soft fingertips down my jaw, she leans forward, kissing me softly on the nose.
"Happy Birthday, Angel."
"Thank you," she whispers. "I appreciate you coming to get me. I didn't want to be alone."
Her words ring truth and I freeze a moment, realising for once, I truly had felt the same. I can't remember the last time I craved someone else's presence like I am right now.
"I didn't want to be alone, either."
***
The axe slices through the wood with a distinct crack. Knocking the pieces out of the way, I straighten and wipe my brow.
"I could get used to waking up to this," Brea teases, leaning over the porch railing, a smirk dancing across her lips.
Grinning, I swing the axe and rest it on my shoulder. "You like what you see?"
Biting her lip, she nods. "Mmhmm."
Dropping the axe to my feet, I jog up to the steps. I lightly slap her butt before I dive towards her mouth, capturing her lips against mine. She moans softly as she kisses me back before we breathlessly part. She giggles, wiping her mouth.
"Sweaty."
"I think you mean sexy."
"Sweaty," she repeats. "But most definitely sexy."
Once in the kitchen, I flick the kettle on. Brea sits on the kitchen counter, her bare legs dangling over the side.
"I'm going to have a quick shower," I tell her. "But first." I reach for the flowers I bought this morning when I went into town. Turning, I hand them to her. "I know you don't like to do anything for your birthday, but, here."
"Oh my God," she smiles, her face brightening as she stares down at the flowers. "That is so sweet. No one has ever bought me flowers before."
"I've never bought flowers before, either." I admit.
"Thank you," she says earnestly, swivelling her eyes to me. "You're wonderful."
The breath inside of my lungs escapes me for a moment. No one has ever said that to me. It's always criticism and tearing me down. Never this. She makes me want to be better. I'm not used to caring. Swallowing, I nod and step back.
There's a swirling pressure carving its way through my body. This ... us ... it's starting to feel a little too relationship-y for my liking. I don't do this. I'm not that kind of guy. How did it get like this, so quickly?
"I'll be right back."
When I'm back, feeling calmer and like I can breathe again, Brea is dressed and has two freshly made coffees on the bench.
"You ready?"
"For what?"
"I'm taking you driving."
"You are?"
"Yeah. I said I'd teach you," I reply, leaning my hip against the counter. "So that's what I'm doing."
Grinning over the mug, two splotches of colour heat her cheeks. "Okay, Cowboy. Let's go."
Grabbing my keys, we head out into the sweltering heat. Climbing into my truck, I start the engine and wait for her to get strapped in. I take her to the edge of town. Pulling off to the side, I look over at her. She shoots a grin my way while she unbuckles herself.
It's hard not to get distracted when she slides behind the wheel, her shorts riding up her tanned thighs. Thighs I'd love to have around the side of my head. Shaking myself, I snap back to reality when I notice her blinking at me, waiting for me to talk.
"Okay. So." I begin, shifting so that I'm half-turned toward her. "Put your foot down on the clutch."
"Yes sir."
A zing of electricity rolls down my spine at hearing her say that to me. A hint of a smile teases across her lips. She knows full-well the affect she has on me. We both know what the other person likes now. I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing. Perhaps both.
"With the clutch in, you need to push the gear box out of neutral and into first gear. Which is this direction." I demonstrate with my hands and tap on the dusty gearstick. "It's hard to read but the numbers are all on this if you forget."
"Got it."
"Now, you have to ease off the clutch at the same time you accelerate. Doing it too fast will launch forward, but doing it too slow with not enough revs will stall it. You need to find a happy medium between both."
The car lurches forward and we both fly toward the dashboard. I fling my arm out and she headbutts it. Wincing, she leans back, rubbing her head.
"That would have really hurt my nose," she laughs.
"Try again. A bit slower."
She does as I say and this time we move forward at a normal speed.
"Car," I say nervously when a ute appears in the side mirror, and she doesn't appear to be slowing down.
"Oops," she says, pulling back to the side of the road.
"It might be quiet out here, but you always need to check your mirrors. People fly along these roads because there are never cops out here to tell them to slow down. Especially the young fellas."
"Sorry."
"No need to apologise, just making you more aware."
This time, she checks all her mirrors before pulling out onto the road.
"Good. You need to go into second gear now. Clutch in," I instruct, tapping on the gear stick. "Move it toward number 2. Down and to the left a little bit."
Doing as she is told, the truck swiftly moves into second gear.
"Same thing but for third now."
The gears grind and clunk together and she lets out a little shriek, letting go of the wheel.
"Jesus," I cry out, grabbing onto it. "Don't let go of it!"
"Sorry!"
"Put it in third!"
Sweating, she looks down, frowning at it as we swerve dangerously close to the gravel.
"You need to stay focused on the road as well as changing the gears, Brea!"
"Don't call me that," she mutters, stomping on the accelerator and sending us jolting forward. The truck shudders to a stop, dust clouds flying up around us. The hot air swallows us instantly as the air condition sputters to a stop.
"Your name?" I quirk an eyebrow, peeling my now-damp shirt off my skin as my sweat makes it stick to me.
"It's Angel to you."
My face splits into a grin. "Sorry, Angel. Sorry I yelled." Blowing out a heavy breath, I place a hand on her thigh. "Take a deep breath. Start the engine."
This time, she smoothly moves forward, transitioning from first to third with ease.
"You drive a lot better when you don't overthink," I tell her. "Just relax. You'll always figure it out."
Nodding, she inches her speed up and moves to fourth without my command. I nod in approval.
"Good girl."
Her throat moves as she swallows, glancing over at me.
"Say that again."
Smirking, I lean toward her, my fingers skimming across the exposed skin at the back of her neck.
"Good girl."
Keeping my arm slung over the back of seat, I try my best not to touch her so that she can concentrate.
The rest of the drive is rather successful, and she drives us all the way back to the house. The engine is still running when she pulls up in the driveway. Turning to face me, her cheeks are flushed, a wild smile on her face.
"That was fun. Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Hesitating for the briefest moment, she looks at me, before unbuckling the seatbelt and climbing over onto my lap. My hands rest on her thighs as she settles onto me. Sinking herself deep into my groin, I let out a low, heavy breath.
Leaning forward, she kisses me. Long, hard, and brutal, her tongue sliding against mine as she grinds into my lap. Tossing her onto her back, I push down onto her, roaming my hands over her tight body, enjoying touching, and squeezing every part of her.
"I adore you in these shorts," I breathe, sliding my hands underneath the fabric. "I'd like them even better on the floor."
"Cowboy," she whispers, cracking open an eye as she stares up at me. "You're my boss."
"Yep."
"This is wrong. Right?"
"Does it feel wrong?" I ask, pressing my hardness into her leg.
"Quite the opposite."
"That settles it, then."
"I'm going to have to work somewhere else," she insists as I shove her top up and over her head. "I won't be able to focus with you being there, giving me orders."
"You like when I give you orders."
"That's entirely the problem."
Groaning, I let my eyes drink in every inch of her bareness. Her slender neck, collarbones, shoulders. Her faint tan lines visible when the strap of her bra slides over the point of her shoulder. Trailing my fingers across her lacey bra, I unhook it swiftly and fling it behind me. Her breasts bounce when they're released and I swoop down, taking her nipple in my mouth and sucking on it.
"Oh," she whimpers. "That feels good."
Circling my tongue around them, I suck harder as she fumbles for my pants. She manages to get my buttons and zipper undone and I shift back to let her shove them down my thighs.
Her petite fingers rub me through my briefs, and I buck my hips against her desperately. Slipping her hands between my skin and the fabric, she circles her hand around the tip of me and moves up and down. Hissing between my teeth, I thrust into her hand, the tip of me nudging at her entrance.
Shoving her underwear to the side, I slide my finger over her, delighted to find them completely soaked.
"You are wet for me," I groan.
"Always."
"My good girl."
She whimpers as I thrust a finger inside her, curling it in the exact right position that has her arching her back. She moves her hand faster against me.
"This is all going to be over quickly if you keep doing that," I warn through a clenched jaw. Sweat beads across my forehead as I add another finger inside her.
"Be a sweetheart and come for me," she purrs.
Well then. I liked hearing that a lot more than I thought I would.
Slamming my other hand down onto the seat, I spill into her hand with a guttural groan, thrusting hard into her hand. My fingers move faster and harder inside her and I feel her clenching around them before she comes undone as well.
Our moans and sharp breathing fill the car, making the windows completely foggy. Both of us are slick with sweat.
"More," she gasps. "I need you. All of you."
Reaching for a towel on the floor of my car, she quickly wipes her hands as I lean back, inserting myself right at her entrance. I push inside her, just the tiniest bit, when there's a knock on the window.
"Z? Are you all right?" I hear a voice call and then a shriek.
I jerk backward as if someone has slapped me at the sound of my sister's voice. Brea gasps in alarm, quickly throwing her arms over her exposed breasts, her face practically lighting on fire.
"Shit," I mutter, desperately searching for Brea's bra and shirt that I carelessly threw somewhere.
"There!" she whispers, pointing at the mirror. Her bra dangles off it and I wince, swiping at it. She turns and I help her get it back on and clip it up. "Oh God ... what an awful first impression."
"Could be worse."
"How could this be worse?" she exclaims, looking all kinds of flustered as she yanks her shirt over her head, only for it to be backwards and inside out.
"Take a breath. Adjust your shirt, Angel." She allows me to peel it off her and put it the correct way. "It could be worse because she knows I don't like anyone, so if I'm in this situation with you, you must be special."
Smiling up at me through her dark lashes, she smiles. "Really?"
"Really."
Stepping out of the car, I help Brea get out. Her hair is everywhere and her cheeks crimson. I yank my shirt on, combing my hair roughly with my fingers as I make eye contact awkwardly with my sister, who is smirking. She is leaning on her car, arms folded across her chest.
"Sorry to interrupt. I didn't realise he had ... company."
Sweeping her hair back, Brea offers her a strained smile. "Sorry that you saw that. I'm Brea."
"Maya. Zander's sister."
"Lovely to meet you."
"Likewise," she winks. "Good to see my brother actually speaking to someone who isn't myself or his niece."
"Don't start," I grumble, wiping my hand over my face, the scent of Brea's arousal wafting over me, making me feel hot all over.
We were so close. I was practically inside her. God damn.
Maya can't stop grinning as she switches her gaze between us like she is watching a tennis match.
"Well. Any who. I was just calling by to check on you."
"Uh huh."
"I made you some food."
"I haven't eaten all of what you made for me last time."
"That means you're not eating enough."
Huffing, I take the bag from her, a little embarrassed that Brea is witnessing my sister take on the parental role, even though I am very obviously a grown man.
"Thank you."
"I better get going. See you, Brea." Maya sends a wave over her shoulder before she elegantly slides into the car, reversing out of the driveway, almost taking out my damn letterbox. She has already run over it before.
"She drops you off food? That's so sweet." Brea says, still sounding a little breathless. A light film of sweat shines across her forehead.
"Yeah. It's nice. But she is a bit over the top," I say and then gesture for us to go inside, since it is stifling out here and both of us are a sweaty mess regardless of the heat.
"What do you mean over the top?"
"She is very involved in my life. Always telling me what I should be doing. Always concerned about things that I don't think are a problem. It's nice that she cares but sometimes I just want to scream at her to leave me the hell alone." Brea eyes me for a moment and I realise that I unintentionally raised my voice. Clearing my throat, I sigh. "Sorry."
"Don't be. I get it." She replies "Well. Nathan and I are basically the opposite, but my mother was really overbearing and meddled with my life in more ways than one. It was really exhausting and difficult to deal with."
"She sounds like a lot."
"She was."
I wince, realising I used present tense instead of past. She doesn't seem to mind. She would be used to talking about the passing of her mum I imagine.
"So," Brea says after a few moments. "Things got a bit heated in the car. No pun intended."
Bracing myself on the counter, I make a noise of agreement. "Yeah."
"What were you planning on doing to me?"
"Fuck you so hard you can't walk straight for the next twenty-four hours."
Closing her eyes, she covers her face for a moment, letting my words sink in. We both are tense, tension crackling in the air around me.
"I'm finding it pretty difficult not to do that right now, in fact."
Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, she releases a breath. "I don't sleep with people often, Zander. Not unless I am dating them. I'm not a one-night-stand kind of person nor am I one to sleep with someone and not catch feelings. I just want to be transparent about that before things escalade. I don't want us to not be on the same page."
Her words are like someone throwing a bucket of cold, icy water over me. I step back, a little surprised at the seriousness of her words.
I like her, sure. I can't deny it. She's beautiful, inside and out. But I don't date. I don't settle down. She doesn't live here, and I don't plan to leave. Ever.
Her eyes study me as silence stretches between us.
"Zander?" she presses, her hands dropping to her sides.
"Um," I eventually say.
"Um?" she repeats, furrowing her brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Shaking my head, I shrug. "I don't really do girlfriends, Brea."
Her lips part as she straightens, staring at me. She opens her mouth, closes it, only to open it once more, but no words come out. I take another step back, scratching my neck. Her earlier words come back to me, asking me not to call her by her name, and guilt stabs at my stomach, making me feel even worse.
"Thought you knew that," I say.
Rolling her lips into her mouth, she nods. Quietly, she turns and gathers her things, moving so fast that she is practically a blur.
"Okay," she says, sniffling, not looking in my direction. "I know that now, Zander. See you around."
My fingers twitch at my side, the need to go to her and apologise. Touch her. Reassure her I can try, but I stay where I am.
Her lower lip trembles as she finally glares up at me. She waits for a heartbeat too long, seeing if I will say anything more.
I don't.
Silently, she turns on her heel, slamming the front door shut behind her.
--------------
Happy reading everyone!
If you enjoy steamy, small town romances, be sure to check out my novel 'Meant to Be' which is available in paperback and kindle on Amaz0n as well as being free on k!ndle unlimited :)