Chapter 5 - Heaven's Suggestion Box
Heat was rearranging the flowers when I woke up the next day. He seemed to be enjoying what he was doing, but his smile even grew wider when he noticed that I'm already up. Tuwang-tuwa ang gago na mayro'n na siyang mabubwisit.
"GOOD MORNING, WINTER!"
I just snubbed him and walked towards the bathroom. Aabutin ko na sana ang knob ng pinto nang bigla akong unahan ng gago. "What the fuck is your prob—" I couldn't do anything but sigh when I saw him wipe something on the sink. Must be his toothpaste spill again.
Ngiting-ngiti pa sa 'kin ang siraulo nang lumabas siya. Yumuko siya sa gilid ng pinto saka iminuwestra sa 'kin ang banyo. "Malinis na po, madame."
I just rolled my eyes, went in, and shut the door. I didn't hear any other thing from him, but his fading footsteps and the slight creeking sound of the chair he sat on.
Heat finished what he was doing just when I was almost done with my morning routine. We didn't talk, nor exchange glances, but we went out of the cabin together.
"Heat," I called him. He was still locking the door so he didn't look at me.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for listening."
Heat dropped the key to our cabin. Instead of picking it up, he just slowly turned to me. Gulat na gulat?
"H-Huh?" he almost whispered.
"I needed that," I said. "Thank you." And then, I smiled. Sincerely.
His jaw almost dropped and his eyes widened. For a moment, he looked like he was gonna say something but then he sealed his lips. Nakakatawa ang pagmumukha niya kaya napatawa ako, tapos lalo naman siyang napatulala. Siraulo.
Akala ko iniwan na talaga ng kaluluwa niya ang katawan niya kaya nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong itulak. Tumama ang likod ko sa pinto habang lumapat naman ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya.
Nakakabingi.
"A-Anong ginagawa mo?!" I asked him in panic. He was looking at his back, and that's only when I noticed that a group of other campers were passing by. Oh, tapos?!
"Nakangiti ka pa ba?!" tanong niya na lalong nakapagpakunot sa noo ko.
"Sinong ngingiti 'pag may saltik ang kasama niya?!" sigaw ko saka ko siya itinulak palayo. Tumayo ako nang maayos.
"Tara na pala." The idiot had the audacity to just smile, pick up the key, and casually walk away while I was still catching my breath from what he did. Wala man lang pakiramdam ang hayop! Normal na normal lang sa kaniya ang gano'n, habang pinagpawisan ako?!
I walked fast and when I caught up to him, I kicked his back.
"BAKIT?!"
Hindi ako sumagot at nauna na lang pumasok sa Grand Cabin, kung saan sinalubong naman ako ni Precious.
"A-Ano..." She looked scared at me again, holding on to the tip of one of her braids like the time she talked to me after we tried to find her. I frowned. Habang ilang linggo na rin siyang feeling close sa 'kin? "If you're okay ka na... m-movie night daw sa common room. Sama ka?"
I didn't answer. Hindi ako um-oo, hindi rin ako tumanggi. Depende na lang sa mood.
Bumalik kaagad kami sa cabin dahil wala namang scheduled na day activities. Lumabas ulit kami no'ng lunch, then balik ulit sa cabin pagkatapos kumain. Nakahiga lang ako sa upper bunk sa buong maghapon hanggang sa namalayan kong kinakalabit ako ni Heat.
"Naapula na ni papa 'yong sunog sa langit, tara na," sabi niya.
"I don't want to go."
He just looked at me, and he remained doing so for I don't know how long. If he did that to annoy me, it was a success for him. Napabangon ako.
"Fuck you," I murmured as I took out my one peso coin. "Heads, I'm going. Tails, leave me alone."
I know we might've looked like idiots that time with our eyes focused on a one peso coin in the air. I caught it and Heat stood on his bed so he could take a look at it too.
It was fucking heads. Ngising-ngisi tuloy si gago.
Mukhang nagsisimula na ang movie dahil wala na kaming nakasabay na iba pa papunta sa Grand Cabin. Pagpasok namin sa lobby, ang nag-iisang si Precious na lang ang nando'n at naghihintay sa 'min. Kaming tatlo na lang din ang naglalakad sa hallway papuntang common room, hanggang sa may lumabas mula sa office ng management.
Brian caused us all to stop walking. He nodded at Heat, looked at Precious, and then turned to me. "Hey."
Pumasok sina Heat at Precious sa loob ng common room habang wala naman akong choice kung hindi ang magpaiwan sa labas kasama si Brian. Hindi ako nag-effort na itago ang pagkabagot habang parang nag-iisip pa siya ng sasabihin.
"About what happened at the campfire..." he started, looking shy. Nasa'n ang kapal ng mukha niya?
"What about it?" I asked with a straight face which made him sigh.
"I wasn't here during the registration period but I was the one to answer the call from your mother." He looked like he was unsure if he should continue. "And she may have overshared some problems..."
I could only roll my eyes. Mother of the year.
"I'm sorry, Winter," he finally said. "I should've been more considerate as the only person here who has an idea of what you've been through." He looked me in the eye. "I want you to have the break you needed here in Camp Mitesco."
Brian seemed sincere but it didn't help anyone that he glanced at Heat, who was already inside the common room, after the last words he said. Napalingon din tuloy ako sa gago na sakto namang tumingin din sa 'kin. I panicked and felt so awkward so I quickly looked at Brian again.
"Uh..." I didn't know what to say so I pulled his jacket and slid my hand on one of its pockets. As expected, I took out a pack of Oreos. "I'll just take this as your peace offering."
Brian looked a little surprised by what I did but then he just sighed and smiled.
I went inside the common room where Heat and Precious had a seat between them reserved for me. It was at the far back and Precious is small so she was having difficulties seeing the screen.
"Excuse me po, hindi ko po makita. Can you please move? Excuse po," paulit-ulit na sabi niya pero patay malisya lang ang mga nasa unahan namin.
"Tanginang mga ulo 'yan," malakas na sabi ko.
Napalingon sa 'min lahat hanggang sa mga nasa pinaka-unahan at kaniya-kaniya silang pag-iwas para makita namin ang screen. Tinignan ko si Precious. Gano'n dapat.
Nasa kalagitnaan na ang movie. Nage-gets ko pa rin naman ang istorya at hindi ako nagagandahan kaya binuksan ko na lang ang Oreos na na-snatch ko kay Brian. Wala pa akong nakakain, dumampot na kaagad ng isa si Heat. Patay gutom. Inirapan ko lang siya.
"Gusto mo?" pag-aalok ko na rin kay Precious. Nakakahiya naman sa kaniya kung isang katabi ko lang ang mabubusog ng pagkain ko, 'di ba? Tsk. "Kay Brian 'to."
Para siyang nagulat dahil sa huli kong sinabi. Halos mangalay ako habang nagko-contemplate siya kung kukuha ba ng Oreo. No'ng, sa wakas, inilapit niya na ang kamay niya sa pack na hawak ko, binawi ko naman ang kamay ko.
"What's up with you and that guy?" I asked. Hindi na ako makakatulog kung hindi ko pa malalaman sa oras na 'yon. Magdadalawang araw na akong may napapansin sa kaniya.
She looked at me with her lips slightly parted and both her eyebrows raised. "H-Huh?"
Pinaningkitan ko siya. "Binu-bully ka ba ni Brian?"
"No!" she whispered. Paulit-ulit pa siyang umiling no'ng 'di ako nagsalita. "No, no."
"Magkakilala talaga kayo bago ka pa sumali rito, 'di ba?" tanong ni Heat sa kaniya, nakikisali sa usapan.
"Friends ang families namin."
"Close kayo?"
"H-Hindi ah!"
There was something with the way she denied that that made me lean more to my assumption. So I asked, "crush mo?" just to be sure and the kid fucking nodded?! "What the fuck?!"
The other campers complained because of my loud voice that was interrupting their movie night. I was ready to fight, like always, but Heat just pulled us out of the common room. The moment he closed the door behind us, I quickly looked at Precious.
"Gusto mo 'yon?!" I asked her with horror written all over my face. I mean, anong mayro'n kay Brian bukod sa bida-bida siya?! I was genuinely confused and disgusted.
And she just casually nodded. "Gusto ko siyang maging boyfriend."
"Bakit?!"
"H-Huh?"
Napabuntong-hininga si Heat saka pumagitan sa 'min. Nilingon niya ako. "Ba't, ikaw, may boyfriend ka ba?"
I was shocked by that sudden question. From him. I panicked. "Bakit?!"
"Tinatanong lang!"
"I-Ikaw?" I asked him back. For a moment, he just looked at me. Wait, baka isipin niyang interesado ako sa kaniya. "May boyfriend ka?" I added.
"Wala!" parang galit na nagtatampo na ewan na sigaw niya.
"May girlfriend ka?" Precious asked him.
Bumuntong-hininga siya ulit. "Wala."
With that, I quickly turned to him again and raised an eyebrow. "Ex?"
"Wala rin."
Hindi ako nag-react at nag-iwas lang ulit ng tingin. Medyo mainit lang at salita ako nang salita kaya huminga ako nang malalim. Hindi 'to hinga nang maluwag!
"Baka nahihirapan si Lord pumili ng para sa 'kin eh," sabi pa ni Heat kahit wala namang may pake. Sasabihin ko sanang baka wala talagang para sa kaniya pero tumingin siya sa 'kin saka nagsalita ulit. "Isa-suggest kita."
"Huh?"
"Isa-suggest kita kay Lord."
I was...
...flabbergasted?
Overwhelmed?
Dumbstruck?
Speechless—was the safest word to describe it. That's what I was for more than ten seconds as I could only stare at him. Just how the fuck can he say such words with a serious face?! And why am I seeing him again with that stupid pink filter?!
I blinked for several times until the filter was gone. "Isa-suggest din kita kay Lord," taas-noo kong sabi. Bago pa siya makapag-react, dinugtungan ko 'yon. "Sa mga dapat niyang kuhanin."
"HOY!"
Sasampalin ko sana si Heat pero nakailag siya. Ang ingay namputangina. Nayayamot nanaman ako sa pagmumukha niya kaya humarap na lang ulit ako kay Precious.
"Umamin ka na ba?" I asked which made her return my gaze. Hindi naman talaga ako interesado pero kailangan kong ibahin ang topic. "Gusto mo kamo siyang maging boyfriend. I'm not saying there's a 100% chance pero mas walang mangyayari kung 'di ka aamin sa—"
"I-I did, three years ago."
"What?!" I blurted out. Gago, seryoso pala talaga siya sa siraulong 'yon?!
"He said he doesn't care."
Precious looked really sad which made me swallow all the sarcastic lines that my mind told me to say. Heat and I awkwardly looked at each other, then back at her again.
But then, I remembered something. Sure akong mas matanda sa 'kin si Brian at 16 na ako. "Teka," mas lumapit ako kay Precious. "Eh, 'di ba, elem—"
"Heat, pre, nagsimula na ba 'yong movie?"
Naputol ang pagsasalita ko nang biglang may lumapit sa 'min na lalaki at nakipag-usap kay Heat. Malamang isa siya sa mga campers pero 'yon ang unang beses na nakita ko ang pagmumukha niya. Hindi ko naman kasi sila tinitignan. Pake ko ba sa kanila.
"Oy, pre!" bati ni Heat sa kaniya. "Kanina pa."
"Nakatulog kasi ako—" Napakunot ang noo ko noong napalingon sa 'kin 'yong lalaki at bigla na lang parang nakakita siya ng multo. Inano ko ang isang 'to? "W-Winter Elison?!"
Precious beamed like she always does, and looked at me. Nakalimutan niya na kaagad ang topic kanina—ang pagkasawi niya. "Winter, he knows you!"
"Billy!" masaya na ring pakilala no'ng lalaki habang nakaturo sa sarili niya. "Schoolmates tayo!"
Hindi ako nagpakita ng kahit na anong reaksyon. Malay ko kung scammer lang siya. Hindi ko siya kilala.
"Crush na crush ka ni Chan, 'yong Vice President ng Student Council!" parang campaign manager na sabi niya pa. Eh hindi ko rin naman kilala kung sino man 'yong sinasabi niya.
"Nandito rin siya?!" tanong ni Precious. Bakit mukha siyang excited?
"Wala pa. Dapat kahapon pa ang dating niya kasi nagbakasyon siya sa ibang bansa kaso na-cancel 'yong flight niya. Bukas siguro nandito na 'yon. Matutuwa 'yon 'pag nakitang nandito rin si Winter..."
Kung ano-ano pang pinagsasasabi ni Billy pero tumalikod na ako. I didn't expect Heat to follow me.
"Wow, crush, 'di pala 'ko nag-iisa ah?!" he said which made me stop walking just by the main door of the Grand Cabin. I turned around and glared at him which also made him halt his steps. "A-Anong klase naman pangalan 'yon? Tiyan?" biglang bawi niya.
"Chan means snow in Chinese! Bagay sila ni Winter!" tuwang-tuwang sabi ni Precious na sumunod din sa 'min. "What do you think, Winter?!"
"Hindi ako interesado."
"B-But sabi ni Billy, matutuwa raw si Chan 'pag nakita ka," sabi niya pa. Muntik ko na siyang nasampal no'ng bigla siyang suminghap. "Pa'no kung umamin siya sa 'yo bigla?!"
"I don't care," I quickly said. But then I remembered her story and when I looked at her, she really looked affected by my words. She must've remembered the pain that Brian caused him by dismissing her feelings just like that. Baka nga gano'n na gano'n din mismo ang naging reply sa kaniya ni Brian noon. "I mean, I'm not interested in dating and I'm not comfortable when strangers approach me."
Napatango-tango silang dalawa. Ni hindi man lang tinamaan sa huli kong sinabi.
"That's sad! Kung ako, I'll prefer pa na may boyfriend ka na kaya hindi na puwede," nakasimangot na sabi ni Precious. Saglit lang, suminghap nanaman siya na akala mo hinihika na. Pati braids niya parang nagulat at tumalon papunta sa likod niya. "Pa'no kung may magpanggap na lang na boyfriend mo para 'di na siya mag-hope?!"
"Sino namang—"
Napalunok si Heat nang bigla siyang ituro ni Precious. Para siyang nag-panic na ewan pero tumango rin naman siya. "O-Okay lang sa 'kin."
Inambaan ko siya ng suntok. "Okay ba sa 'kin?!"
That conversation ended at that when the other campers suddenly went out of the common room. Tapos na kaagad ang movie at sinasabihan na ang lahat na bumalik sa kaniya-kaniyang cabin. Napadaldal si Heat sa kung sino-sinong kaibigan niya habang papalabas kami ng Grand Cabin kaya nakalimutan niya na rin ang tungkol do'n—at least, that's what I thought.
We were yet to finish our morning routine when someone knocked on our door the next morning. I was the one to open it, and was so confused when I saw that there was a little girl outside, probably not older than seven as she's still hugging a stuffed doll like her life depended on it. "What?"
What lang ang sinabi ko pero napaatras siya at nabitawan pa ang manikang hawak niya. Damn, kids can be judgmental sometime. She really looked so scared at me, she couldn't even pick up her doll, so I just turned my back on her and called my roommate. "Heat, anak mo."
Pasimple akong sinamaan ng tingin ng siraulo habang papalapit siya. No'ng alam niyang nakikita na no'ng bata ang mukha niya, bigla na lang siyang ngumiti. "Good morning, Athena!"
"Good morning..." parang nahihiya namang sabi no'ng bata. Hindi na siya ulit nagsalita pero yumuko siya at itinuro ang mga sapatos niyang nakalaylay pa ang laces.
"Ako ang magtatali?!" masayang tanong ni Heat na akala mo naman isang privelege ang mapagsilbihan ang batang 'yon. "Yes, ma'am!" sabi niya pa saka itinali ang shoelaces ng bata.
"T-Thank you..." halos ibulong ng bata pagkatapos.
"You're welcome, Athena!" masayang sabi naman ni Heat. Ngiting-ngiti siya, pero 'di na sumagot pa 'yong bata at tumakbo na palayo. "Athena, wait, 'tong manika mo!" sigaw niya pa pero hindi na bumalik ang bata.
"It doesn't look like you'll get custody," I sarcastically commented.
"Ang funny mo naman, crush!" Heat said which made glare at him. Yep, ako ang nagsimula, ako rin ang naunang mapikon.
Heat stood up and just placed the doll on our table because that little girl's probably at the canteen already and they're not supposed to bring toys there. We headed out too to get breakfast. Tahimik lang kami dahil hindi rin naman matino ang nagiging usapan 'pag nagsalita kaming dalawa. We weren't even near the Grand Cabin yet when someone called Heat.
"Good morning, Heat!" Avery said as she approached him. Ngiti niya pa lang, napatirik na ang mga mata ko.
"Good morning," bati rin ni Heat sa kaniya na awtomatikong nagpagalaw sa mga paa ko para humakbang papalayo sa kanilang dalawa. 'Di ko naman kailangang marinig kung paano sila maglalandian.
"Hi." Nakakailang hakbang pa lang ako nang may humarang din sa 'kin. "Hi, Winter."
Napakunot ang noo ko sa lalaking hindi ko naman kilala pero alam ang pangalan ko. Napangiti siya sa reaksyon ko at hindi ko maikakaila na may itsura siya. Nakakadagdag sa dating niya ang suot niyang salamin. Pero hindi ko nga siya kilala at nakaharang siya sa dinadaanan ko. "Sino ka?"
He chuckled. "Sabi nga ni Billy, hindi mo kami kilala."
My mind kinda buffered with that. Sino nga si Billy?
"I'm Chan. We went to the same school."
Ah. That's him. And Billy's the guy from last night. That time, I suddenly wondered what I did during junior high. I could've sworn I met them both for the first time in Camp Mitesco. I don't really remember their faces. Not to mention that I finished Grade 10 just three weeks before that day.
"Uh, nasabi raw sa 'yo ni Billy kahapon..."
Napaangat ang mga kilay ko. Yeah, Billy told me, though I'm still finding it hard to believe that someone's got a crush on me. Bulag ba siya? Anong purpose ng salamin niya?
And why would he confront me about it first thing in the morning? Kadarating niya lang, pinuntahan niya 'ko para do'n? What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act?
"T-That's true!" he uttered with his ears turning red. "M-Matagal na kitang crush."
My lips just parted. I started squeezing my hands. Can someone please get me out of here?
"Wala na talaga akong balak umamin kasi naka-graduate na rin naman tayo at hindi ko naman alam kung saan ka magka-college pero ngayong nagkita tayo ulit, ngayong alam mo na..." Mukha siyang nahihiya na ewan. If we were in a different situation, I'd point out how stupid he looks. But I just couldn't say a word while he's looking at me like that—like I'd be killing him if I don't give him what he's hoping for. "D-Do I have a chance?"
I couldn't say a word still and just remained looking at him. I know the answer but why the hell am I in this situation? Why is he looking at me?
I kept on squeezing my hands, until I felt someone holding my left hand. And because I was squeezing it, our fingers automatically intertwined.
"Tara nang mag-breakfast, mahal ko."
Dumbfounded was an understatement for what I felt as I turned to look at Heat. He was smiling casually at me as he held my hand tighter. Saglit akong napatulala sa kaniya hanggang sa ma-realize ko ang sinabi niya. The idiot is really pretending as my boyfriend?!
"Tang—"
"M-May boyfriend ka na pala?" may magkahalong gulat, panic, at pagkahiya na sabi ni Chan, na pumutol sa dapat na pagsigaw ko kay Heat.
"This?!" nakangiwi kong sabi habang itinuturo ng libre kong kamay si Heat. "Patayin mo na lang ako."
"Grabe ka naman!" reklamo ni Heat. Inirapan ko siya saka marahas na binawi ang kamay ko.
"H-Hindi kayo?" Chan asked in confusion, to which I only nodded. His eyes lit up. "Then—"
"No," I said. He looked like he understood it quickly so I just continued walking to the Grand Cabin, leaving him standing there.
"H-Hoy, Winter!" Humabol sa 'kin si Heat. I thought he was gonna tell me how harsh that was but, instead, he asked, "okay ka lang?"
"Bakit naman ako magiging hindi okay?" tanong ko pabalik. "Nasa'n ang manliligaw mo?"
He just chuckled and didn't answer the question. "Susulat na talaga ako sa langit mamaya."
I didn't even bother to ask what the hell he was talking about and just gave him a side eye.
"Ihuhulog ng mga anghel ang pangalan mo sa suggestion box."
"Hindi nila 'ko kilala ro'n," tinatamad kong sabi. "Nasa baba ang records ko."
Tumawa lang siya ulit. "Magmumukhang langit ang impyerno 'pag napunta ka ro'n."
"Three... two..."
Heat ran ahead to the Grand Cabin and I just sighed.
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