ᴄᴏᴅᴇ ʙʟᴜᴇ • ᴍ. ꜱʟᴏᴀɴ

Od BedsideTales

73.3K 2.1K 379

"ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴀꜱᴋ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ." ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ✧ ┊ ┊ ✦ ┊ ✧ ✦ Chicag... Více

𝐀𝐂𝐓 𝐈
𝟎𝟎𝟏. the beginning
𝟎𝟎𝟐. a hard day's night
𝟎𝟎𝟑. the first cut is the deepest
𝟎𝟎𝟒. no man's land
𝟎𝟎𝟓. save me
𝟎𝟎𝟔. raindrops keep falling
𝟎𝟎𝟕. enough is enough
𝟎𝟎𝟖. make me lose control
𝟎𝟎𝟗. into you like a train
𝟎𝟏𝟎. let it be
𝟎𝟏𝟏. thanks for the memories
𝟎𝟏𝟐. owner of a lonely heart
𝟎𝟏𝟑. grandma got run over by a reindeer
𝟎𝟏𝟒. begin the begin
𝟎𝟏𝟓. break on through
𝟎𝟏𝟔. it's the end of the world...
𝟎𝟏𝟕. ...as we know it
𝟎𝟏𝟗. what have i done to deserve this?
𝟎𝟐𝟎. superstition
𝟎𝟐𝟏. blues for sister someone
𝟎𝟐𝟐. seventeen seconds
𝟎𝟐𝟑. losing my religion

𝟎𝟏𝟖. yesterday

2.3K 103 30
Od BedsideTales





CODE BLUE

018. YESTERDAY

season two, episode eighteen


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JOANNA WOKE UP WITH A FEELING. It was an invisible weight, like an anvil on her chest. The feeling was an urge that told her to be afraid, but she couldn't identify exactly what she should be afraid of. And considering what had happened the last time Emily had a feeling, Joanna felt like her having a feeling was a very bad sign.

She entered Christopher's bedroom, noticing the blonde sprawled out and snoring softly, his arms thrown over his head. She nudged Christopher's elbow. "Hey," she whispered.

"I was asleep," Christopher groaned, pulling his pillow on top of his head.

"Christopher," Joanna called again.

The surgeon rolled over and opened his eyes. "What's wrong?" He asked sleepily.

"I have a feeling," Joanna announced.

Christopher shifted and propped himself up on his elbows, eyeing her friend curiously. "A feeling?" he asked. "Like there might a bomb in the hospital?"

Joanna sighed "God, no," she said. "Not again."

Christopher settled back into his pillows, his features softening. "What type of feeling?"

"Like something bad might happen today," she explained. "But I might be overthinking this right? I'm totally overthinking this. Just because when Emily got her feeling yesterday and she was right, doesn't mean I will be right about this."

Christopher nodded. He knew all too well the feeling of not being sure but still having that sense of dread permeate through his veins. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

Joanna thought for a moment, then shook her head. "There is nothing to talk about," she said. "I just have a feeling that something is gonna go wrong today."

"Wanna do something to take your mind off it?" Christopher suggested, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You are disgusting," she said with a smile, before throwing a pillow on his bare chest.

"No," Christopher corrected. "Men are disgusting."

"With that, I can't disagree with."





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JOANNA tried her best to brush off her worrying, but even as she waited for the interns, she still felt uneasy. As she saw the ten eager interns approaching, she took a deep breath, not wanting to show her distress. Every day that passed, Bailey's interns got fonder of the idea of having Joanna as their resident. So much so that her usual morning cappuccino was handed to her by Alex Karev.

"Wow," Joanna said. "I really didn't see that coming."

"Shocking, I know," Rosa said.

"Are the ORs up and running?" Joanna asked.

"Ah yeah fully functional," Cristina said. "Except there's some smoke damage to the corridor."

Joanna turned to Meredith. "How about you? You fully functional?"

Meredith nodded. "I'm fine," she muttered, leaning into Aaron.

Joanna picked up her small notebook, where she kept the list of available surgeries. "Ok, I have two spots at an invasive non-cell with a history of COPD with Burke and Hughes, two with me and Dr. Shephered, two at the E.R., one with Klink at the burn unit, one with the Chief, and one with Hale."

"Dibs on Burke!" Meredith and Cristina said at the same time.

"Ok, but wait for a second," Joanna said. "Bailey is here visiting her husband. The five of you should go upstairs and pretend to be civil." They all nodded. "On second, thought all ten of you should go and pretend to be polite. I raised you all better than that."

"Yes, Dr. Rhodes," they chorused.

"Good," she said. "Chief?" Adam's hand shot up. "Plastics?" Nicholas and Karev raised their hands. "Simmons you go," and as Alex pouted, she added. "You will have priority tomorrow, Karev. Peds?" Aaron and Izzie wanted it, but they reached an agreement without Joanna having to intervene.

They ended up with Rosa and Alex in Joanna's service and Izzie and George in the ER.

And then, it was time for rounds. The first interesting stop was Christopher's patient -- a middle-aged man named Chuck Eaton -- who was admitted for a risky procedure. Meredith presented the case. "Chuck Eaton. 54. Has stage 3B non-small cell lung cancer with possible invasion of the pleura. And a history of COPD. He's had extensive chemo-radiotherapy with minimal regression of the tumor. He's been admitted for radical and block re-section."

"I was a smoker," Chuck said. "The oncologist explained that I have a 25% chance of surviving the surgery."

"Well unfortunately that's about right," Burke spoke. "If you should elect not to proceed we can make you more comfortable."

"With all due respect ah- there's no way you can make a man dying a slow death comfortable. I'll roll the dice," he said, making Joanna shoot him a sympathetic smile.

The next stop was the one Joanna was most excited about. It was an old patient of hers and Emily's, who had come to the hospital last year. In the room, they met with Emily and Derek, besides the patient and his parents, all waiting for them.

"Jake!" Joanna said, entering the room. "I thought we had agreed to stop meeting like this."

"Dr. Rhodes," he smiled. "You brought an army with you, didn't you?"

"Well, you know how these things work, Jake," she said with a smile. "Rounds, and blah blah blah. But yeah, I have a few more than usual." She then turned to the interns, waiting for one of them to present.

"Jake Burton. 15. Has advanced craniodiaphyseal dysplasia. Was admitted last night after complaining of headaches," Rosa presented.

"He's not a complainer," Mrs. Burton said. "He's been having some nausea as well."

"Okay, may I?" Derek asked and the parents moved aside so that Derek could examine him. "Jake, can I get you to sit up please?"

"Sure."

As he sat up, Derek instructed. "I want you to look right here for me," Derek held up a finger in front of Cristina. Jake looked directly at the intern, instead of Derek's finger. "Thank you."

Cristina looked a little uncomfortable and shifted her gaze to Joanna as Derek checked Jake's pupils. "You know you could pretend I'm a lion," Jake spoke to Cristina. "It helps."

"Jake," Emily scolded.

"Sorry?" Cristina asked

"You could pretend I'm a lion and then instead of a messed up kid you get a talking circus animal which is way easier to look at," Jake said a smile on his lips.

Derek chuckled. "Dr. Yang, what's our immediate concern?" He quizzed.

"That the bony tumors are growing inward and encroaching on his brain," Cristina said.

Derek nodded. "Good," he then turned to Joanna. "Who's with me?"

"Karev and Underwood," she answered. "And Dunn is with Hale."

"Which means he is also here," Emily spoke.

Derek nodded. "Go, get Jake a CT and an MRI," he said to the interns.

"On it."





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JOANNA was sure she was hallucinating as she saw him standing at the nurses' station. He couldn't be there. He just simply couldn't be. That was an impossibility. Mark Sloan being at Seattle Grace, casually flirting with an intern was as impossible as a cow flying or a whale turning into a cactus. (Ok, maybe not the flirting part, but you get the idea.)

She blinked, shaking her head to clear the fog in her brain. But when she opened her eyes, he was still there, standing next to Meredith, and talking about his bed of all things.

He wasn't directly in front of her, but Joanna could make out his profile, the line of his jaw, his strong nose, his full lips. Mark had a couple of days' worth of stubble and he looked tired. His eyes were ringed black like he didn't get any sleep. And yet, he was still as beautiful now as he was back in New York. And Joanna caught herself wondering if he still smelled the same. If the black worn-out leather jacket that he was wearing - which she had gotten him for his birthday - still smelled of his cologne. If his hair still smelled of mint shampoo. If his aftershave was still the same.

She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she watched them, and soon enough as if he sensed her presence, Mark's eyes met hers. He smiled at her and crossed the room to reach her and time seemed to freeze. It seemed forever, and yet, at the same time, not long enough, before he was standing before her. As she looked into his eyes - those fucking piercing blue eyes - the years seemed to fall away and it was just like it used to be. They were Mark and Joanna, Joanna and Mark. It felt right, like coming home after a long journey. Mark reached out and touched her arm gently, letting her know that he was feeling the same thing as his warm familiarity overwhelmed her.

But just as quickly as she had gotten those feelings, they faded away as Derek's fist met Mark's cheek. He was sent flying to the ground while Derek groaned, shaking his hand in pain.

"Derek," Joanna breathed out, not realizing she had been holding her breath. She looked at him, not realizing the immense gratitude that was washing over her.

"What the hell was that?!" Emily and Christopher ran at them, both of them yelling at the neurosurgeon.

"That was Mark."








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JOANNA got to the trauma room where Mark was without even thinking about where she was going. She moved on autopilot, too overwhelmed to think. She spotted Mark and Meredith in the Trauma Room, talking as she cleaned his wound. She opened the door to the Trauma Room, shooting the intern a look that said everything that she needed to know.

They stood in the thick silence, Joanna glaring daggers at Mark who was smirking, of all things. "Oh come on," Mark spoke. "You're not even a little bit happy to see me?"

"Why are you here, Mark?" Joanna asked dryly, not noticing she was crossing her arms in a defensive way as she spoke.

Mark sighed. "In case you missed it, Derek threw a punch at my cheek and now I have this," he said, gesturing to the wound on his face. "Don't you think it's funny?" Mark asked once they were left alone, a smirk making its way to his lips. "Derek walks in on me naked with Addison, actually in the throes, and he just turns around and walks away. But he sees me so much as touching you and I'm on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don't you think?"

Joanna pressed her lips in a thin line, trying her best to not let her annoyance show. But as she opened her mouth to speak, she knew she was failing miserably. "At least he didn't break your jaw like Connor," Joanna muttered, grabbing the material to clean the wound.

"Oh, gotta love Connor for that partying gift," Mark snickered.

She leaned into him, moving the cotton swab in a circular motion. Joanna's perfume hit him with a wave of heartache, the scent of the familiar coconut shampoo intoxicating him. Joanna's heart raced as her fingers touched Mark's face. He leaned towards her, reaching out his hand to touch the side of her face before she flinched, pulling away, almost as if his touch burned her.

"You know," Mark spoke first, breaking the thick silence that followed. "My 400-dollar-an-hour shrink agrees with you." As Joanna shot him an unamused look, he continued. "He said that because behind this rugged and confident exterior, I'm self-destructive and self-loathing to an almost pathological degree."

"You could have saved yourself some money and just called me,"  Joanna shot back sharply. "I could have told you that and many other awful things about you for free."

Mark looked down at Joanna, studying her intently as though he was expecting to read her mind. "Look, I know you're mad," he started a hint of pleading in his voice. "But we all made mistakes. All four of us and-"

"Mark," Joanna interrupted in a warning tone.

Ignoring her, Mark continued. "But somehow, somehow, I lost my best friend and the woman I loved." He turned to face her but she grasped his face a bit too roughly, making sure he was staring straight so she could clean the wound on his cheek.

"Please don't say that," Joanna's voice was so low it was practically a whisper.

Mark let out a long-suffering sigh and closed his eyes as if the words hurt more than the cut on his face. He opened his eyes slowly. "But it's true," he said, grasping Joanna's wrist gently, and pulling it away from his face. "And I came here to apologize and hope that somehow that would make it better and-"

He stopped talking as Joanna scoffed, her gaze fixed on Mark's wound. "It was never going to get better," Joanna spoke, not noticing the past tense in her voice. "Sometimes we don't get a resolution or a happy ending. We just have to learn to live with what we can't change or fix," she added, placing a towel on Mark's shoulder as she got the anesthesia ready.

Mark sighed heavily and turned his gaze away from her. They stood in silence for a few moments before finally speaking up again. "You know," Mark said, his voice laced with a hint of sadness. "I was ready to do it. To be that person you wanted me to be – the one who would stay with you and make you happy."

Joanna shook her head. "But you still couldn't do that," she grabbed his chin with her hand, her heart fluttering at their proximity. Mark still used the same cologne. And that smell. God, he smelled like the best years of her life. "Stand still," she ordered as she injected the anesthesia into his cheek.

Mark winced at the sting, then relaxed his face, and Joanna almost felt bad for him. Almost being the keyword. As she got the suture kit ready, he watched her carefully, taking in every little detail of her features–the way her eyes narrowed when she concentrated, the way her lips pursed when she was frustrated with the suture line. "What do you think you're doing?" Mark asked as she approached to do his stitches.

Joanna sighed, exasperated. "You need stitches," she answered tersely.

"I know," Mark stated the obvious. "Hold the mirror."

Joanna snorted. "Oh, I see. The great Mark Sloan won't let anyone else do his stitches."

Mark glanced at her, amusement twinkling in his bright blue eyes. "Oh, come on now," he teased lightly. "It's not that I don't trust anyone else to do it–it's just that you're much better at this than anyone else."

Joanna rolled her eyes at him and crossed her arms, staring at him in disbelief. After what seemed like forever - it could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, none of them could tell - Joanna spoke, recognizing her defeat. "God," she sighed. "Fine, have it your way," she said grabbing the mirror and holding it up for him. "You are impossible."

"I know," Mark smirked.

"That wasn't a compliment," she replied.

He started stitching himself up, and Joanna hated how hot that was. Mark had always been a take-charge sort of guy. He was so damn sure of himself and confident in everything that he did. "I'm a pretty good doctor, don't you think?" He said as he stitched his own cheek.

Joanna just rolled her eyes, not noticing that her lips were pulling up to a smile as she said in the most sarcastic tone she could muster. "Of course, you are."

Mark chuckled and continued stitching. She couldn't help but wonder why it was so fucking hot that he was stitching up his own wound. As he reached the furthest corner, however, stitching got nearly impossible.

"Oh, this is pathetic," Joanna announced after a few moments of watching Mark struggle. "Give it to me," she ordered, opening her hand as she waited for him to give her the tools.

"No," he said, still focusing on trying to do it right.

"You are so damn arrogant that you don't see that you are setting yourself up for a scar this way," she pointed out.

"How do I know you won't scar me as punishment for what I did?" He asked quietly, watching her with an intense expression.

Joanna rolled her eyes. "Don't tempt me, Sloan," she said sternly, pushing his chest so he would lie down on the table again.

Mark complied without hesitation, not daring to admit that she was the only doctor he would let go anywhere near his face. He watched her silently as she worked, his heart pounding in his chest at her closeness. He was amazed by how she still followed the techniques he had taught her all those years before.

But before he could say anything else, Joanna finished stitching up his cheek and stepped away from him. "You're all done," she said quietly, cleaning off the table before packing up the suture kit again.

Mark sat up slowly and carefully touched his stitched-up cheek before turning towards Joanna with a grateful smile. "Thank you."

"I'm a doctor, Mark," she stated dryly. "That's my job."








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WHILE Mark and Joanna talked in the trauma room, the interns gathered in the nurses' station to watch the scene unfold. "Why is he suturing his own face?" George asked, incredulous.

Cristina shrugged. "To turn me on."

Nicholas let out a low whistle. "Cause he's Mark Sloan. He's like the go-to plastic surgeon on the East Coast."

Adam looked at him in shock. "That's the guy Addison was sleeping with?"

Alex joined them, having heard the conversation. "He is also McPerfect's ex," he added.

Aaron immediately barked at him, protective of his mentor. "Enough with the nicknames, Karev."

Izzie sighed dreamily, "You can't really blame her, can you?"

Mia nodded in agreement with Izzie as Adam protested, "Yes, you can!"

Meredith finally spoke up with a new nickname for Mark. "I can't believe McPerfect was shagging McSexy." The other interns looked at her in surprise until Aaron shot her a glance and she muttered an apology.

Cristina scoffed. "McSexy?"

"No," Meredith agreed.

"McYummy?" Izzie suggested.

"No," all the women chorused.

"McSteamy!" Rosa suggested with the same level of excitement as if she just had discovered a medical breakthrough.

"Oh, there it is," Cristina said.

Izzie chuckled. "Yep."

"Uh, just ah choking back some McVomit," George scoffed, shaking his head at the ridiculous nicknames his colleagues had come up with for Mark Sloan.

"Come on, who dumped who?" Cristina asked.

Rosa nodded in agreement. "It must have been pretty serious if they're still fighting like this."

"Maybe he had an affair?" Alex suggested, his eyes wide with anticipation.

But Adam shook his head and leaned back against the countertop. "No way," he said firmly. "Who would cheat on Dr. Rhodes?"

"Dude, are you in love with her or something?" Alex taunted.

Adam's face immediately reddened as everyone else in the room erupted into laughter.

Meredith, still trying to figure out what happened between Joanna and Mark, asked, "Okay, so if he didn't have an affair then why did they break up?"

Izzie shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe she wanted kids and he didn't," she suggested.

Cristina scoffed at that idea. "Come on, this is Mark Sloan we're talking about," she said. "Wasn't he elected one of the most eligible bachelors in New York?"

Izzie nodded in agreement. "He's a player, that's for sure," she said.

Aaron nodded slowly. "Yeah, but I heard he was really serious about Joanna," he said quietly.

Nicholas raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Seriously?" he asked.

Mia stepped forward and added her own opinion on the matter. "Maybe they just didn't have enough in common," she said.

"What are you all doing standing there?" Joanna barked, approaching them. "Don't you have work to do?" The interns looked at her, slightly agape. "Karev, take Dr. Sloan to have an X-ray of his face to make sure nothing is broken. The rest of you, back to work!"





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"DEREK," Joanna called as she spotted the raven-haired neurosurgeon pacing around the hall.

"I'm going to kill him," Derek announced. "I am actually going to murder Mark if I see him again." He stopped talking, however, as Christopher approached them.

"How is your hand?" Christopher asked worriedly.

"Fine," Derek shrugged.

"Do you want me to finish the job?" Christopher asked. "I'll be more than happy. And I know a killer place to hide a body."

"Yes," Joanna said at the same time that Derek said, "No."

"I'll do it myself," Derek added, speaking low enough that made the threat believable.

"How are you holding up?" Christopher asked the brunette.

"I told you I had a feeling," Joanna answered. When Derek shot her a confused look, she added. "I woke up this morning with a feeling."

"A feeling?" Derek asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"As if something might go wrong," Joanna said. "I called it. I should have stayed in bed with Bella and-" she stopped talking as both her's and Derek's pages went off with a 911 from Emily. "Shit."

The two surgeons ran to Jake's room, knowing that he was probably coding. Much to their shock, however, instead of finding a code team, they found Mark and Karev talking to Jake and his parents while Emily glared daggers at the plastic surgeon.

"How, how is that possible?" Mrs. Burton asked.

"It's precision work," Mark said and Joanna felt like Derek might burst from anger. "It won't be easy but-"

"Dr. Sloan," Derek interrupts in the most poisonous tone Joanna ever heard him use. "Can I help you with something?"

"He says he can fix my face," Jake spoke. "He says he can make me look normal."

Fuck.








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JOANNA and Emily stood in the hallway watching as Derek and Mark fought in Richard's office. Alex, Rosa, and Aaron stood close by, highly entertained by the scene unfolding in front of them. "This isn't fair," Emily whispered. "Jake is my patient. I should be in there."

"What did he say?" Joanna asked the interns, not really paying attention to Emily's ranting.

"Did you hear that?" Alex asked Aaron.

"Did he just call him a crack-whore?" Aaron mused.

"You call him that," Alex snickered.

"Oh shut up," Aaron shut him up. "I'm trying to read lips."

"Shepherd's gesturing!" Alex announced. "Big gesturing!"

George walked up to them. "What do you got?"

"Shepherd, Sloan battling it out," Alex explained.

"Oh it's getting good," Aaron muttered. "Why? What do you got?"

George shrugged and tried to act casual. "Just a woman down in the ER having spontaneous orgasms."

All five doctors turned to stare at George. Then, the interns sprinted off. Emily and Joanna exchanged a look, and the brunette spoke. "Did he just say spontaneous orgasms?"

Emily shook her head as if she was in denial. "What do you think they are shouting at each other?"

Joanna sighed. "I have a pretty good guess."

As it turns out, her guess was entirely on point. On the other side of the walkway, in Richard's office, Derek and Mark were blowing up at each other in a shouting match. "That is not the point!" Derek roared, the vein in his neck popping out.

"The point is that the kid wants his face fixed!" Mark shouted.

"The point is you wanna get published!" Derek yelled.

"Well yeah, and I'm guessing your Chief of Surgery does too. You know how the press loves a good before and after shit Richard," Mark argued.

"Call me Dr. Webber," Richard snapped, clearly annoyed at Mark. Derek looked comically smug, right before the Chief burst his bubble. "Derek out of friendship to you I would very much like to say no to this jackass. But as Chief-"

Derek shook his head. "Please don't say it."

"Dr. Sloan if you can get the parents to sign a consent form..." Richard's voice trailed off.

Mark nodded, before turning to Derek with a smug smile. "Round two goes to the jackass."








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EMILY watched as Jake lay down on the MRI machine, her mind racing. How dared Mark Sloan storm into Seattle, mess up with Derek and Joanna, and start a new treatment plan for her patient? Yes, it was a solid plan and objectively it could work, but still, how dare he?

"Dr. Hale?" Jake called, snapping Emily out of her thoughts.

"Okay, Jake, it can get a little cramped in there so you have to try not to move," she spoke.

"Yeah, uh, this is like my 50th MRI experience," Jake pointed out.

"Right, sorry," Emily muttered.

"Dr. Hale, can I ask you something?" Jake asked. As she nodded, he continued. "Why does everyone hate Dr. Sloan?"

Emily froze in place like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She stuttered a bit before managing to mutter, "People don't hate Dr. Sloan."

"You do," Jake said. "And Dr. Rhodes. And Dr. Shepherd."

"How do you know that?" Emily asked.

"I'm sick, not blind," Jake answered. "So, are you going to tell me?"

"I can't tell you, it's unprofessional."

"Please?" Jake begged. "I won't tell anyone." Emily took a deep breath, debating it. "Have I ever told you that you have really nice eyes? I'm really big on eyes. Since they are, you know, the only part of my face where the tumors aren't growing."

Emily laughed. "You need to promise not to tell anyone."

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Jake agreed. "Which maybe isn't the best thing to say right before undergoing major brain surgery."

Emily chuckled. As she saw him look at her expectantly, she sighed. "Fine," she said. "Dr. Sloan is Dr. Rhodes' ex. They broke up on really bad terms and she moved from New York because of it."

"Oh," Jake said, and Emily pushed the button so that Jake was moving towards the inside of the MRI machine.

"Dr. Hale, can I ask you something else?" Jake asked, forcing her to stop the gurney.

"No," Emily answered, making Jake grin.

"Are you in love with Dr. Shepherd?"

Emily sighed, ignoring the fact that her cheeks were turning pink. "You are impossible, you know?"

"But I'm still one of your favorite patients," Jake hummed.








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AT JAKE'S ROOM, Joanna watched with the interns as Mark drew on Jake's face outlining where he would be making the incisions in surgery. Not that Joanna would ever admit it, but a pang of nostalgia hit her hard. The effortless precision of his hand as he guided the Sharpie through Jake's skin, the shape of his arm muscles as he flexed them slightly, the contour of his back on the black t-shirt he was wearing... It was all too much. Watching Mark was like staring at the sun - stare at it for too long and you would go blind.

Worrying that she might pierce a hole in Mark's head if she stared at him any longer, Joanna turned to her interns. "Can anyone tell me what Dr. Sloan is doing?"

"He is drawing the medial to the tumor," Karev spoke.

"It's a guideline for what the bone structure should be," Mark corrected, staring directly at Joanna, a small smirk on his lips. And being totally honest, she wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss it or slap that smile off his face.

"You hear that?" Jake beamed. "I'm gonna have bone structure."

On cue, the door of his bedroom busted open, and Derek, Emily, and Jake's parents walked in. Joanna nearly sighed in relief as she noticed the gloomy look on his parents' faces. Derek had managed to change their minds.

"Jake," Mrs. Burton called.

"What do you think Mom?" Jake asked.  "Am I Dali or more of a Picasso?"

"Could you stop doing that for a minute please?" Mr. Burton snapped at the plastic surgeon. Mark, of course, obeyed and stopped drawing, standing up and watching as the dad squatted near Jake. "Jake," Mr. Burton called. "Jake, I'm sorry," he said. "This surgery, the brain surgery, is very dangerous."

"No," Jake protested. "No, don't say that. You don't get to change your mind."

Derek took Mark's seat as he spoke softly. "I know Dr. Sloan has made some big promises, but Jake, the bony tumors inside your skull are bad."

"I don't care!" Jake protested.

"The bleeding will be hard to control. I'm not trying to frighten you. I just want you to understand."

"I do understand this," Jake said. "I understand this has nothing to do with plastic surgery. So if I'm going to be under the knife anyway then I-"

"Jake, the plastic surgery can be done at some-" Emily interrupted, but Mark cut her off.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Mark said, but before he could say anything, Derek interrupted.

"What you need to understand is..."

Mark interrupted, again. "Excuse me, Jake is actually right." Derek scoffed, but he continued. "No reason to put him through a second surgery and a second round of anesthesia. It's much safer to just do it all at once."

Karev spoke up. "Dr. Sloan is right."

"Karev," Joanna hissed. "Outside. Now."

He looked almost as if he was bored as the two of them made their way to the hallway. "Who the hell do you think you are to undermine Dr. Shepherd in front of a patient?!" Joanna roared.

"But Sloan was right," Karev said.

"That is completely beside the point," Joanna yelled. "And he is not right. The neurosurgery alone will take at least five hours. Plastic surgery will take at the very least the same amount. That puts Jake at ten hours open on the table. Do you know how big the risk for infection is?"

"I-"

"I am not finished, Dr. Karev," Joanna interrupted. "You went behind your resident's back and called Dr. Sloan to consult on a case. Do you have any idea of how unprofessional that was?"

"Dr. Rhodes," Alex said.

"I'm still not finished!" She shouted.

"Joanna," Derek spoke from behind her. She spun on her heels, and solemnly by the look on his face she could tell the parents had agreed to the plastic surgeon.

Oh, fuck me.








⋆⋅☆⋅⋆









JOANNA was walking down the surgical walkway with Christopher by her side. "He is so lost in his own massive ego to realize that doing this surgery is simply stupid! The risk is too big but that asshole has his head so far up his ass that he doesn't realize how dangerous it is! I swear, if his ego gets any bigger he will change the center of gravity of the earth."

They stopped walking as they heard a snicker. Joanna spun on her heels, only to find the one and only Mark Sloan standing behind her. Christopher, feeling all of a sudden a bit protective, wrapped his arm around Joanna's waist. "Speak of the asshole and the asshole shall appear," she smirked.

"You flatter me," Mark responded, batting his lashes in mockery.

Derek, who was walking towards them from the other side of the walkway, called out, not seeing Mark. "Hey, Christopher-" his voice trailed off once he saw the plastic surgeon. "Never mind," he muttered, turning to walk in the other direction.

"Who are you?" Mark asked Christopher, clenching his fists as his eyes laid on Christopher's arm tightening on Joanna's waist.

"None of your business," Christopher practically growled.

"Mark, go home. " Joanna said, leaning in on Christopher. "Go home. Whatever it is you came here to do, just drop it and leave."

Mark tightened his jaw before saying. "I can't."

"Then we have nothing left to discuss," she said dryly, walking away from him.








⋆⋅☆⋅⋆








DEREK approached Emily, who was doing her charts silently at the nurses' station. He loved it when she concentrated like that, with her nose slightly scrunched and her left hand supporting her head. "You know we have interns for that, right?" Derek spoke.

"They do a lousy job and the one that I do trust to do it is fulfilling a patient's dying wish to send hate mail to everyone he's ever met."

"Ah," Derek muttered. "Right now I understand the impulse."

"Me too," Emily agreed. After a moment of silence, Emily spoke again. "Derek, can I ask you something?" As he nodded, she continued. "Why do you think she cheated on you? Were you different then? Were you a bad husband?"

Derek looked at her in surprise, not expecting that at all. He was silent for a bit, trying to come up with an answer to her question.

"I was, uh," he sighed and sat down next to her. "I was absent. Not that that's an excuse for her."

Emily looked at him, wanting nothing more than to tell him how much she still loved him. To tell him that no matter what had happened, she would never cheat on him and that she would rather die than break his heart. But instead, the only words that came out of her mouth were. "I think we should go check on Jake."

Derek nodded, and as she stood up to leave, she heard him whisper. "I miss you."

Fighting back the tears that threatened to fall, Emily moved to the hallway, surprised to see Mark waiting for them in navy blue scrubs. "Jake's ready to roll," he spoke.

Derek shot him an annoyed glare and the three of them made their way silently to the OR.








⋆⋅☆⋅⋆









DEREK stepped aside from the position of the lead surgeon, earning himself a very confused glance from Joanna and the rest of the operating team. He handed her the scalpel that was in his hand and spoke. "You are opening the skull cap," he said and Joanna could practically hear the smile in his voice.

"Are you sure?" Joanna asked as she took the scalpel.

"Yes," Derek said gently.

"You got this," Mark whispered softly.

She would never admit this to anyone, but Mark's words made her heart flutter. She made the incision carefully and precisely, and lifted the skull cap with ease.

"Very good," Derek complimented, but the second she stepped aside for him to take back the lead, Jake's heart monitor started beeping erratically. "Oh, son of a bitch," Derek said "Put in the pressure and fusia!" He ordered Joanna.

"We need another unit of blood."

"No carotid," Mark spoke. "We've got V-FIB."

The surgeons started scrambling and yelling different orders as Jake flatlined while Derek and Joanna desperately tried to locate the bleeding. Mark grabbed the paddles to jolt Jake's heart into starting.

"Asystole," Mark announced after a few tries. "Derek, call it."

Derek shook his head. "It's Dr. Hale's patient."

"Time of death, 17h18," Emily announced right before walking away from the table.

"Damn it!" Derek yelled, getting rid of his head equipment and following Emily out the door.

"Aren't you going to go?" Mark asked as he got ready to leave.

"I will stay and watch the interns close him," she explained sadly. "It's a good way to teach them to properly suture."

"Then I will stay," Mark announced.

"Mark-"

"What? Do you know anyone better than me at standing around and judging a lousy suture?"

Joanna almost smiled.








⋆⋅☆⋅⋆








JOANNA and Derek entered the empty elevator, both of them more than ready to go home. She was fidgeting with the bracelet Connor and Claire had bought her for Christmas. It was an annoying little habit she had developed whenever she was nervous and/or thinking.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Derek spoke quietly. "You opened the skull cap with precision. It was perfect."

Joanna smiled at him. "Thank you."

Just as the doors of the elevator were closing, a very upset redhead stopped them and hopped on the elevator. "Hey," Addison spoke.

"Hey," Derek and Joanna responded at the same time.

"I haven't seen you all day," Addison said to her husband.

"I didn't want to see you today," Derek answered.

Addison sighed, clearly upset. "It's not my fault he showed up, Derek."

"I know," Derek said, and it was pretty obvious that even though he meant it, he still felt like it was Addie's fault.

The elevator stopped on a new floor, and obviously, Mark Sloan was the one waiting for it. The plastic surgeon took a step in, and Derek and Addison took a step to the side. Completely misreading the room, Mark muttered to Derek what he thought were words of comfort since his friend had lost a patient. "Don't beat yourself up."

Derek, obviously, got mad and stepped out of the elevator just as the doors were about to close. "I'm taking the stairs," he announced.

Mark held the doors open as he spoke. "Oh, come on! How come you can forgive her but not me?"

"I didn't forgive her," Derek spat. "And with you, I have no obligation to try."

As he walked away, Addison rushed to follow him. "Derek, wait!"

Once the doors of the elevator closed, the two former lovers were left alone. "Did you really have to do that?" Joanna asked quietly. Mark looked at her with an expression she couldn't decipher. He approached her with a determined look on his face, making her heart flutter in her chest. "Why are you here, Mark?"

"Come back home with me," he said in an almost pleading voice, gently brushing her cheek with his hand. And Joanna had to fight really, really, hard against the urge to lean into his touch.

And just as she was about to give in to the urge she had been fighting all day - the urge to finally kiss him again after so fucking long - the elevator stopped on her floor.

She walked away from him, breaking her heart into a thousand pieces as she looked at him one last time and said. "I can't do this again, Mark."

Joanna turned her back to the love of her life, finally allowing the tears that burned her eyes all day long to fall.


────────

AUTHOR'S NOTE

my baby is finally here <3

what did u all think? any thoughts or comments?

love,

J

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