It was.
Draco and I hadn't spoken in days since he snuck out of the dorm room before my "lover" came to find me and put his leash on my collar. Draco's dark shell that lacked any sort of vulnerability had reappeared, and I was back to being Graham's helpless puppy dog.
If it weren't for the soft grazes of Draco's thumb over my knees that made me shudder every single time while he smirked subtly, or when he'd softly squeeze my hands under the desks as he kept his eyes on our professors without raising suspicions, I would've thought he was done with this exhausting game for good.
It was demanding. Always trying to hide away from Graham while longing for Draco and his little touches that reminding me I was crossing his mind. But a double life was something I had always lived anyway.
The girl that was miserable and had to pretend to be happy. The acts never ends. The curtains never come down.
"Ray-"
I snapped my head up and tucked my hair behind my ear. I raised my brow to acknowledge his amused smile and bright eyes, making his beautiful laugh fill my ears.
"Are you even listening to a word I've been saying, Princess?" He questioned as he pounced across the small space between us and tackled me from my crisscross position, making my back collide with the rooftop while he hovered over me.
"Ow- Blaise!" I groaned, lightly hitting his shoulder while he continued chuckling.
"What?" He mocked, his smile making my annoyance melt. "I'm trying to enjoy this beautiful spring day, and you're zoning in and out every 5 seconds! It's absurd!" He laughed.
"I was enjoying when your body weight wasn't crushing my little bones!" I grunted, trying to fight him off as he sat over my waist and pinned me down.
"Oh, relax, my little dove." He cupped my cheeks in his large hands and pecked my forehead. "I'd never harm you! Your little bones are safe when I'm around." He smiled his warm grin and I stopped fighting immediately. My hands found his wrists and locked on to hold him here with me, staring up into his eyes as mine started to water and burn.
"Oh, Rain. I didn't mean it like that. Don't cry." He whispered with a solemn expression. I squeezed his wrists three times and closed my eyes, a tear or two slipping down the sides of my face.
"You promise I'll always be safe around you?" I asked him weakly. "What if... what happens if you turn dark like the others because you can't help it-"
"I'll always be able to help it. I would never— I could never!" He shook his head and kissed my forehead again. "You'll always be safe with me— don't even hesitate to think that for one second. You know it's true." He frowned down at me. I nodded my head softly before he pressed our foreheads together.
"Ugh, gag me. Give a bit of a warning next time you two look on the verge of shagging up here. Maybe a sock on the windowsill we all use to climb up here, yeah?" My head snapped to the left at the sound of his drawling Wiltshire voice that brought surges of tingles to my gut.
"Piss off, Malfoy." Blaise snapped as he sat up straight and released my face. "You're just jealous." He smirked. Draco gave an unamused smile and slowly dragged his feet towards us.
"Right." He nodded softly. "Trust me, Zabini, I'm not jealous of anyone, and you aren't even close to the top of the list of people I might envy." Draco scoffed, flicking his eyes towards me and tilting his head as I now laid by his feet. My cheek started to burn a deep shade of red that I could blame the spring heat of the sun for, but Draco's soft wink without Blaise's knowledge already called me out.
"Hi, Malfoy." I said timidly. The words left my tongue before I could even process how airy my voice had sounded, or that I had even said them out loud. He kept his same cool expression as Blaise climbed off of me, but I could see the light enter his typically cold eyes.
"Rook." A chill ran over my arms as I listened to how he enunciated it. I bit back a smile and say up, dusting off my sleeves and daydreaming while the two boys had a conversation of their own, igniting a joint and passing it back and forth.
"You want any, Rainy?" Blaise offered me the smoke defusing blunt that made my nose crinkle a smidge in thought.
"I'm okay. Maybe next time." I sighed, curling my knees against my chest and propping my chin up. "Graham would know who I was with if I went to dinner stoned later..." My voice trailed off and I tried to cover it with a cough to clear my throat.
"Pity." Blaise scoffed sarcastically. "Tell him it was the least I could do to loosen your tense muscles after he roundhoused you yesterday-"
"Blaise." I warned, my eyes staring off into the distance. "Stop."
"Malfoy knows everything about everyone, I don't care anymore. Graham shouldn't get away with kicking your ribs in-"
"Stop." I hissed, finally snapping my head in his direction.
"Well, this is going lovely." Draco snickered, blowing a thick cloud of smoke into the air as he sat between me and Blaise like a buffer. "Zabini, as much as I'd like to pretend the goodies are why I'm here," he twisted the joint between his nimble fingers and studied it, "Nott was looking for you." He passed it back for Blaise to finish it.
"Alright." He sighed, standing up and brushing he pants. "You and I are done arguing for the day. Apologies can be exchanged later because I'm still annoyed." He kicked my foot, making me look up at him through my knitted brows. I watched him walk away without a word, and the silence between Draco and I turned into a hot tension that I had been feeling everyday while I sat next to him in class.
"Are you going to tell me about it or should I just come out and ask?" He pondered out loud. I glanced sideways at him and watched as his eyes did the same. "Come here." He whispered with an innocence, but his voice was still thick and deep.
He held a hand out towards me, and carefully dragged me towards him when I accepted the offer. I lifted one of my knees to straddle myself over his waist, and he held my hips firmly as he guided me down to sit on him. He didn't say a word, and neither did I, but his fingers traced over my cheekbone and his eyes danced between mine in a way that only we knew how to communicate.
"Do you want it healed, sweet girl?" My heart pounced with the unfamiliar nickname. I felt my walls going up to try and hide away my emotions so they couldn't be used against me, a habit I developed forever ago. But my own face deceived me as my eyes widened and my cheeks burned.
"What? You like that one?" He chuckled, running fingers to the nape of my neck and cupping it. "Sweet, sweet girl." He gently pecked the tip of my nose and I saw his unfamiliar smile appear for me and me only.
"You could call me stupid box of rocks, and I think I'd melt." I admitted without hesitation, making his teeth flash in a smile that made my heart stop. His dimples appeared and he looked so genuinely happy for a moment.
"Is that so?" He chuckled. "What a beautiful stupid box of rocks you are, Rainbow." He teased, planting his lips over my cheek before I nuzzled myself into his neck and inhaled a deep breath of his cologne. "Did you miss me or something?" He gently traced his hand up my side until I winced and pulled away. "Shhh, don't think about it. It'll be over in a second. Just talk to me." He hooked his opposite arm around my waist to hold me steady as he laid his palm flat over my bruised ribs.
"I missed you." I admitted. "A lot." I added in a low mumble. My skin under his palm burned through my shirt, but I could feel the warmth of his healing hand doing it's job, slower than the affects would be with his wand.
"I don't want you to keep doing this, Rain." He said quietly. I fell into a silence and peeked over my shoulder to make sure we were truly alone. "Rook, no one's going to find us. Look at me." He used two fingers under my chin to twist my face towards him again.
I let out a shaky breath and he touched our lips together just so they brushed one another. "One day, we won't have to hide anymore." He whispered, looking up into my eyes. "Montague won't hurt you anymore, and you'll be safe with me. As long as you want me to keep you safe, I will." His hand left my side and he cupped both of my cheeks. "You do want that, right?" His face didn't show any amusement anymore.
"I want you." I whispered, gripping his dress shirt in my fists between my legs, wrinkling it in the process. "Draco, I want you." I laid my forehead against his and tried to cover the longing whine in my voice.
"I'll give it to you, my girl." He pecked my lips carefully again as he spoke in his hushed drawl. "I'll give you everything-"
"Rain, seriously, I'm not holding this offer out forever. Going once? Twice?" I blinked rapidly and found Blaise's hand extended in front of me with a blunt in his grasp. My brows furrowed and I met his chocolate eyes, shaking my head and rubbing a hand over my closed lids.
"I'm going crazy." I mumbled under my breath. I looked back down at his hand and had a sickening sense of deja vu. "I'm fine. Thanks." I said slowly, making him lean in further with the drugs in hand.
"You sure?" He wiggled his brows. I looked at the blonde seated between us, and his lips were curled up in a devious smirk as he watched me intently, his tongue poking his cheek.
"Positive." I pushed my queasiness away and looked at Blaise again. "I... shouldn't do that before dinner... Graham-"
"I know. He hates when you smoke. He'll know we were together. Same old, same old." Blaise mocked and waved me off, taking another drag of the small rolled piece of paper, thick clouds escaping his lips as he puckered them and blew the debris out of his lungs.
"Nott was looking for you, by the way." Draco casually spoke to Blaise as if I wasn't there. "Just thought you'd like to know." He shrugged, pinching the paper between his finger and thumb and taking a deep inhale.
"That kid will be the death of me." Blaise huffed as he moved to his feet. "I'll see you later, Princess. If not today, then tomorrow." He took two paces towards me, cupped my head and kissed the top of my dark hair. "Malfoy? You're still a cocky bastard." He smirked, beginning his descent.
"Piss off, cocksucker." Draco shouted after him as he flipped his middle finger towards the sky and inhaled another thick cloud.
"What the fuck did you-"
Draco cut me off as he leaned over the small gap separating us and cupped my jaw with his palm, my lips parting in a gasp as our noses brushed one another. He took the opportunity to softly blow his fresh smoke into my airways, giving me a second hand high that wouldn't hit as hard as the real deal would have.
"You need to stop losing a grip on your Occlumency walls, sweet girl." He breathed out the rest of the smoke with his words as he held my face against his. "You're going to give up far too many secrets." He teased. He pressed his lips to mine and gave me a real kiss that put the ones in that daydream to shame. "I may have tampered with it a hair as well, but most of it was your own thoughts, and I was able to see everything I wanted or needed without you even knowing it was fake. You wouldn't want to let someone else have the lead in your mind forever, would you? You didn't even know I was in there. You're lucky I let you back out." He snickered. My heart rate continued to incline just a few centimeters below his hand at my jaw.
I pressed our lips together again with a force he didn't show before, swiftly locking my arms around his neck and tugging him towards me— or myself towards him as he scooped me up and sat me over his lap like I had been in the illusion. My hands tugged his hair as I pushed our mouths together like my life depended on it. I felt as he put the bud out against the rooftop and wrapped both his arms around my waist to hold me as tightly as he could, like he would lose me, too.
"When the bad stuff starts to happen, I need you to focus on your mental walls for me, okay?" He panted into my parted lips, his pink tinted eyes making the silver of them stand out like gunmetal.
"The stuff Graham does?" I whispered back, rubbing his hair with my fingers to take in the silliness I had missed so much recently.
"Worse, Rain. When the really bad stuff starts, I will do whatever I need to do to protect you, but I need you to make me a few deals of your own. You need to build your walls, and do it quickly. Don't let anyone in. Don't trust anyone except for me. I just need you to do exactly as I say, okay?" He rubbed his thumb over my cheek and waited for my answer. "Can you do those things for me, angel?" He looked so seriously it was intimidating.
"Should I be scared? Is something going to happen?" I asked him with a quiver to my words. He shook his head and peppered a few open mouthed kisses to my jaw.
"Nothing is going to happen to you." He leaned back to look into my eyes again. "Will you listen to me?" He asked again.
What other choices did I have?
I signed a deal with the devil weeks ago for protection. That's exactly what he was offering me right now.
The decision wasn't hard.
"I will."
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
"You know what I've been thinking about all day?" Graham asked in an airy voice as he had me wrapped all over him at the dinner table. I broke eye contact with my untouched plate and met his fake look of adoration. "Your plump lips puckered around my thick coc-"
"Graham." I winced quietly, looking around at the others seated around us. Adrian smirked wildly at the comment. Theo scoffed loudly and propped his chin on his hand, using his elbow for support on the table.
"Y'know, saying shit like that out loud only makes me have fantasies about your girlfriend's pretty mouth wrapped around my penis that puts yours to shame, Montague." Theo said matter-of-factly. Graham rolled his tongue over the inside of his cheek and met the eyes of the boy across from us. "Not so fun to hear someone say that kind of shit out loud, is it?" He narrowed his eyes on Graham and smirked victoriously.
"Say anything about you touching my girlfriend again, and I'll make sure your last days are so insufferable you'll wish I had killed you faster." Graham warned in a low growl, his eyes turning dark as the veins in his neck emerged and his knuckles turned white as he gripped my thigh. My eyes flickered towards Draco who was too busy staring at Graham's death grip on my leg, the muscles of his jaw rolling as he clenched his teeth and watched every movement.
"Sorry for talking about you in such a vulgar way, love bug. I hope you'll forgive me. You know I don't truly think that low of you to say such horrific things in front of all our peers." Theo looked at me genuinely, his lips curling up with his final sentence as he stirred the pot further. Graham's hand tightened as the pet name for me left Theo's tongue. I grabbed a hold of him in return to try and pry him off, but it was hard to do discreetly.
"Graham." I said softly, in an attempt to get him to realize just how tightly he was holding on to me. "Graham, please." I whispered, keeping my focus on the side of his face to avoid the wandering eyes of the people surrounding us.
Then Malfoy's fork hit the table, and my breathing caught as he pushed himself up off the bench. Graham's hold loosened and he finally looked at me as I prayed that Draco wouldn't throw himself over all of the food and choke the boy that always ruined everything for me.
But he kept walking from the room without a word, just as everyone else around me stood up slowly and followed. Blaise's eyes flickered in my direction with a pained look, and no one's walk could match Malfoy's as his spine stood tall and he walked with such an ease it almost resembled a march— like the movement was instilled in his brain and he was forced to act.
"Duty calls, bunny." Graham tightened his jaw and shot a look at Theo, the only boy remaining with a smirk on his chiseled face. "If I hear anything about you going near her-"
"Who's going to tell you, Montague?" Theo's voice was low and deep. "Seems to me it must be important business. I'm the only boy left here. All the other minions are going with you." Theo looked so relaxed as he stated his argument.
"So tell me, if you can't force any of them to watch her like a hawk, how would you even know what I'm up to?" He smirked. "I'm the only one of us left outside the trap. My arms are still squeaky clean." He chuckled. I felt myself gulp as the next word escaped Graham's mouth.
"Legilimency." He said sharply.
"Don't want to be late, do you?" Theo asked Graham sharply, their eyes never wavering. Graham left me without a goodbye, and my breathing still hadn't found me even when he left.
"Have you been working on your walls?" I hardly recognized this tone from Nott. I shook my head as well as I could, and the look inside his charming eyes made everything inside of me ease.
"Draco just got in earlier and I didn't even know-"
"Well, we only have a couple of days then, don't we?" He cut me off with his harsh question, his anger still radiating off of him even though Graham was no longer around. "I know how we'll be spending our much needed alone time."