08.15am - tuesday morning
everyone was yawning. nobody got enough sleep. the entire class room was not listening to my teacher, and honestly me neither.
i was sitting in my english class. my teacher wasn't even teaching, he was only talking about his personal life, which gave us students the perfect opportunity to talk.
my best friend and i were sitting in the last row. she was playing on her ipad which she used for school. i took my book out and read. but i couldn't focus.
i kept thinking about my love life. it was quite boring right now.
about a year and a half ago, i had this boy two years older than me. he was here on my school. it started as a hallway crush, but the more i looked at him, the more butterflies i got when he looked at me.
these butterflies doubled and tripled each day. and one day, i texted him. told him that i think he's cute. right away. and right away, i got rejected.
5 months later, he graduated. i knew that i would never see him again, and i was right. i never saw him again. it's been about 8 months since his graduation, and i miss the feeling of butterflies. i miss the warm feeling in my heart every time i saw him. i miss the way me and my best friend would go the extra long way so we could walk behind him.
ever since him, i never had a real crush again. he was the first person, who made me blush every time we looked at each other.
of course i had this one guy i thought was cute, but compared to the first one, i knew that i only talked to him because i wanted that feeling back i had with my hallway crush. but i didn't have it. no boy could gave me the same butterflies i had when i saw this guy in school.
sitting in class, thinking about everything, i thought to myself, i want this feeling again.
but i was so deep in my thoughts that i had already been in another world because i-
„hey! y/n! is everything okay?" my best friend asked me.
„oh yeah sorry. just been thinking a lot lately. did you say something?"
she showed me a picture on her ipad. a picture of a city. the city. barcelona.
„isn't this the most prettiest city ever?"
„it is. but do you know what's even prettier in barcelona? the boys."
i received a chuckle. my best friend is known in our friend group as the shy girl that attracts boys aka the texting hoe. she's seems super outgoing when you text with her but in reality she's super shy.
we talked about boys a lot. she has a new crush literally every other week or so. i'm always happy for her and hope that someone of them is the right one, but me.. i just don't find someone.
i don't want to complain but life has been super boring lately.
„do you mean the boys in general or is there a specific one, y/n?" she said smirking at me already knowing my answer.
„maybe a certain pablo." i told her.
„you gotta manifest him!!" she said to which i chuckled.
„omg i had this one dream about him, where i posted a story of me and put my instagram on public and tagged him in the story. and then he saw it and replied to it how pretty i was."
god. i shouldn't have said that. or maybe i should. because i had this supportive girl as my best friend, she told me that i should do it.
days have gone by and nayla kept reminding me to do it. like constantly.
there wasn't a day at school where i would come and sit down next to her at 8am and get the question have you already found the perfect picture to post?
obviously i hadn't because i would text her the whole time while doing it.
today wasn't different either. i sat down next to her, still half asleep.
„have you already found the perfect picture to post?"
„nayla, if i'll really do it, you have to be my photographer."
„oh i definelty will."
and she definitely was. we met up after school and decided to have a photoshoot.
i kept my make up simple as always and paired my brown hair with a black headband.
my outfit was pretty casual since i didn't want to look like i've been going partying.
that was the picture we got, and i love it.
ever since i got social media, i became super insecure about my eyes, because i wanted brown eyes which i thought were extremely pretty.
„your eyes look gorgeous." my best friend told me.
thank goodness that god sent me nayla. she knew about my insecurity. dark hair and light eyes. blue eyes.
i wanted brown ones badly.
but she was the one always complimenting my eyes, and i was so thankful for that.
„should i post it right now?"
„oh you definitely should."
i didn't hesitate any longer. i put my instagram profile on public, tagged him very small in the background so no one could see it. as soon as i clicked on post, the thought came in my head.
your ex crush still follows you and likes your stories.
that was something he always did. he always liked my stories. he started liking them a few months after his graduation. but i didn't know what it meant? does he like me now?
but right now, i just dragged this thought of my head and needed to realize, that i posted a picture of me and tagged pablo gavi.
of course it wouldn't work. i would be extremely lucky if he would only see it but also reply to me? no, that would just happen in my best dreams.
but what if? what if i really had a chance?
growing up with two older brothers that loved football wasn't very easy. one of them is a barcelona fan, the other one a real madrid fan.
i couldn't pick a side. when i was little, i always thought that i would hurt the other ones feelings if i pick the other team, so i got out of the spanish teams and got more into the english ones: especially chelsea fc.
as i got older i kinda got a crush on mason mount, which led me to watch most of the chelsea games and became a big supporter.
as the years went by and i got more into football again and my crush faded, i came back to the spanish teams. discovering the new era of fc barcelona was such a great thing for me.
i watched lots of the matches and was definelty turning into an actual fc barcelona fan. a fan of someone in particular.
pablo gavi. the fact that we are close by age, made my fangirl mode raise. now, i wasn't just a fangirl anymore. it really turned into a crush.
watching him play football and seeing the passion and happiness he has, made me happy. and even the fact that he doesn't know i exist didn't make me as sad as i thought it would, because i would still love him and support him no matter what.
but that wouldn't work. never. why me? i'm sure that so many beautiful girls and trying everyday to get noticed. why would it work for me?
that was a question i asked myself a lot after posting the photo. why was i so special to have this luck? but what if it's meant to be?
no come on y/n. don't raise your hopes for nothing. at the end of the day, nothing will happen. you just have high hopes and get disappointed.
but in the back of my mind, was a little bit of hope.
hope, that i was the one person he didn't know he needed.
ahhhh! chapter 1 is out of my new book!!
i hope you all like it and i get to see some of the people i already now from my first book, but i want to welcome everyone that's new.
i hope you enjoyed the very first chapter and continue to read it.
i would be very happy about a vote/comment, and i'll see you in chapter two.
xx