My body froze outside of my apartment, staring at the ajar door. I vividly remember shutting it. At first, I thought someone was raiding through the abandoned homes for food, shelter, clothes, but, after turning around and inspecting all the shut doors, I felt that couldn't be. It lead to my second thought, though a small and somewhat stupid one, of maybe they were raiding and were covering their tracks, but there's no need for that in this lawless reality. My third and final thought was perhaps, in the delirium that I felt I had been experiencing ever since I found myself stuck in this reality, that maybe I hadn't shut the door, and I made the thought up.
It was the most logical of the thoughts. Pushing the door open, I stepped into the dimming and cold apartment.
He was hard to see under the moonlight spilling in through the window. In front of me, halting at the sound of me entering, stood Niragi. Half of his face and head was covered by his shirt, which led to his gauze-bounded chest to be revealed, the once white gauze browning slightly. It was as I stumbled closer a step that I noticed the burnt skin on his face, it looking as if the skin had melted then attempted to pull itself together. "Kana!" he said with a voice thick with relief, and he bounded up to me.
I was quickly pulled into a hug but my body froze. "Niragi, what happened? I don't want to hurt you."
His arms only tightened at my words. "I don't care if you do." Feeling the familiar warmth of him surrounding me, I caved. My arms wrapped back, holding him close, and I buried my head against his chest. "I was so worried about you. By the time I regained consciousness, everything was burning down. All of the stairs were inaccessible. I was so scared, Kana, I thought I fucking lost you again."
"I thought you were gone, too," I said softly, listening to the rapid beat of his heart softening. Being held by him was sweet. Warm, velvety, caring. Haruka never hugged me like this, not in the year and a half we were together. But every hug Niragi had ever given me felt the exact same way: as if I were the thing he treasured most. I pulled back enough to look at him; I think, in a way, it was true. At least, that's how his gaze made me feel. "What happened?"
He gave me a small smile, attempting to reassure me. Truth be told, I wouldn't be reassured by anything he said, not with the severity of his burns. Only when we were back to our world with him in a hospital would I feel okay. "Got attacked. Granted, part of it was my fault. Then got caught in the fire. It's okay, though. I'm okay. Raided some houses and found gauze to bandage myself up. How are you feeling?" he asked, changing the topic, bringing his hands up to my face. Gently, his fingers examined my bruised skin.
I winced lightly as he poked one of the cuts, which he apologized for quickly. "It hurts a little, but it could be worse. I cleaned the cuts this morning before I played my game."
His brows twitched with confusion. "You played a game?" I nodded. "Who?" he asked, hands moving down to rest on my biceps.
"Queen of Diamonds. We played Sudoku," I said, unable to hide my smile. He picked up on it and started smiling with me. I was thankful for him for a lot of things, but I was always thankful for how easily he could make me happy. Even on the darkest of days, the rainiest of mornings, Niragi seemed to be the sunshine my heart needed.
"I bet she loved hearing your percentage and chance spiel."
"She didn't hear any of it."
He threw his head back in a fake exasperation, leaning back up as he said, "Oh, that lucky woman." I smiled wider with him, causing his smile to come back. I missed his smile. A lot, really. He looked breathtaking; the burns didn't take away from his beauty. But, if I were to be honest, I don't think anything could ever take away from his beauty.
As he stared at me, I could only feel light as my heart as a flutter. Once again, I felt like the stars in his sky. His eyes were searching mine. It became another moment, like the one we had at The Beach. His hands gripped my biceps lightly and pulled me closer, not allowing this chance to slip away like before.
I desperately pressed my lips against his.
Immediately, everything felt right in the world again. This — Niragi — was what my life had been missing, been craving. The depravity of him was much more painful than I realized until then. Such a blissful sensation that my heart and soul sunk into sweetly, the tension in my body easing away. This was all I ever needed.
He stepped us back until my back hit the door, it latching behind me. I hummed out a moan and his grip of my arms tightened. "I wish you knew how much I've missed you," he breathed out against my lips softly, reclaiming my lips once again. His tongue snaked between my lips, brushing my own. My head tilted back at the gesture, his towering presence consuming me.
His lips moved from my mouth to my jaw, neck, collarbone. Through the haziness of my mind, I managed to speak. "Show me." Niragi lifted his head from the crook of my neck to look at me, his parted lips glossy with desperation. I panted quietly against the door and below him, my heart beating rapidly. He always left me breathless. "Show me how much you missed me."
The corner of his lip twinged into a smile before his hand trailed from my bicep and to my hand. Hands clasped together, he guided me to my bedroom. A thousand memories of us floated in the air. Our first kisses shared on my bed — the very one he was pushing me down on. He was the first person I slept with and seeing it come full circle, his hands on either side of me as he kissed me breathlessly, made my heart soar.
Niragi pulled away, moving his hands off the bed and to the hem of my shirt, removing it. I unclasped by bra, slowly removing it in an almost teasing manner, but it was solely to take my time.
I was going to savor this moment as if it were my last.
The bra discarded, I looked up at Niragi, the shirt covering half his face now gone. His eyes looked down at me with nothing but adoration, which caused me to blush; I was used being looked at with only lust. It sounded silly to say, but his gaze made me feel as if I were the prettiest girl in the world.
He leaned in to kiss me, pushing me back against the bed once more. His rough hands grabbed my now exposed sides, squeezing the skin and pushing me against the bed more. I liked it more than I probably should of. Lips moved from my own and back to my neck, to my collar bone, and to my breasts.
His right hand moved from my side and to my right breast, cupping it while his lips kissed my left one. It wasn't until he rolled his tongue across my nipple, sending a shiver down my spine, that I finally realized something. "Did you get your tongue pierced?" I felt him exhale a laugh, his warm breath brushing across my skin, but it was quickly forgotten when he swirled the metal ball around my nipple, and I was blinded my pleasure.
It was a strangely satisfying sensation. But, it was gone as fast as it had came.
While his hands moved down to the hem of my pants and underwear, he kissed down my torso, occasionally dragging his tongue across my skin. The feeling alone sent s flutter down my spine, and it only grew worse when he removed the remainder of my clothes. I heard him shuffle into a kneeling position and he grabbed the sides of my thighs, yanking me down till I was at the edge of the bed.
There wasn't even a second of preparation before a finger pushed into me. I gasped at the feeling, my head tossing against the bed. A second finger was added at the same time as he licked up my clit, his piercing sending a blinding wave of pleasure through me. Another gasp of pure ecstasy left me and my hands dug into the sheets around me.
I truly felt high. I felt out of my body, soaring.
He pulled his fingers out after an pleasingly unprecedented amount of time and quickly kissed me, his lips wet. "You're so beautiful, Kana," he whispered, his voice on edge of breathlessness. I watched through heavy lids as he stood and unbuttoned his pants, getting completely undressed. I wondered if he knew how handsome he was.
Despite everything — the two years apart where we changed into new people, the girlfriends he had, Haruka — I was still wordlessly in love with him.
When he stepped between my legs and leaned down to kiss me, I intertwined my fingers through his hair and held him close. I didn't care at that point how obvious my desperation was. I didn't care how loud I was when he pushed into me. I didn't care how hard my nails dug into his back.
All I cared about was never losing him again.
I held him as close as I could as he rocked his hips into me. "You're so good, baby," he praised into my ear, and my head tossed back against the bed. "Just look at you. That's right, baby, take it." And I did. Through his slow thrusts to him thrusting into me nearly relentlessly.
When my orgasm rushed through me, I felt Alice. For the first time in two years, I felt completely and perfectly alive. Niragi's own orgasm came shortly after and I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. My own heart beat solely for him; my lungs solely breathed for him. I was a fool for thinking I could live without the man who was my life.
With him, I was whole.
Niragi made sure I was cleaned up before we laid together, bodies warm and legs intertwined. The night felt euphoric, and we slept until the golden sun spilled through my window.
After that, playing games felt easy with Niragi on my side. All of the tension in my body faded away. He had been playing the games much longer than I had, and he developed a form of technique that kept us alive through he Jacks and Queen games we played.
It was, however, on the, I think, seventh day, after fighting the Jack of Spades, that Niragi and I were returning home when the King of Spades — quite possibly the worst; we heard gunfire litter the skies every day — managed to find us.
Our conversation was cut short when a single gunshot rang out, hitting me in the side. "Kana!" He was too busy focusing on me to noticed a cloaked figure up the road, aiming to take another shot. Ignoring the excruciating sensation in my side, I quickly yanked Niragi down behind a car. Squatting only made my wound hurt more, so I sat down and leaned my back against the car. "Quickly, let me look at it." I slowly moved my shirt and he inspected the area. I felt winded, my head resting on the car as I inhaled deeply.
"Is the bullet still in me?"
He looked at my back quickly. "No, it went through–"
"Good. We can't stay here," I hissed, pushing myself back into a squatting position. "I'm okay," I reassured as he tried to move me, "I promise. But he's going to kill us if we stay." Niragi's eyes were frantic as they looked from me to around me to the King of Spades then back to me. By the look in his eyes, he, for once, seemed unsure of what to do.
Taking another deep breath, I pushed myself up and ran to the car beside us. Bullets scatted the concrete behind me until I dropped, rolling behind the car. "Goddammit, Kana!" Niragi snapped, staring at me with frustration mixed with panic.
I turned to face him, peeking over the top of the car. The King of Spades was growing ever closer. Ducking back down, I looked at Niragi. "Meet me back at the apartment, okay? We're only going to get killed if we stay together." He looked baffled by my words, his lips pursing. A frustration was burning heavily in his eyes. Eventually, he nodded, either because I was right or because the King of Spades was nearly to us. Niragi ran to his left and I to my right, hiding behind the hood of the car.
I was both relieved and alarmed when the crunching of concrete under heavy boots followed me; at least Niragi would be safe, even if it costed me my life. The throbbing, winded feeling coursing through me was horrific to ignore, but I refused to sink into the depths of the pain. I didn't have time to dwell on where I could hide: I immediately ran down the alley in front of me, the footsteps following behind.
Each bullet hitting the ground caused a small jolt to travel through the concrete. In the alleyway were trash cans and bicycles that only added difficulty to my already staggering run. Due to this, it wasn't shocking that another bullet hit me.
As I neared the other side of the alley, another punching sensation knocked through my leg. I fell straight against the concrete, my body smacking and rolling to the end. My body burned a thousand fires; not only did I now have two bullet wounds but the concrete had mashed my skin to bleeding. A small gasp, one desperate to fill my empty lungs with air, escaped me after I stopped moving, my forehead smushed against the concrete.
I anticipated footsteps to approached, but I was met with an eerie silence. Moments passed as I remained froze, and I heard crunching steps receding back to the street. I didn't dare move until I heard gunfire ring out several blocks away, and it was then a sob escaped. Digging my palms into the ground, I forced myself to roll onto my back, recoiling with every inch of movement.
My back hit the concrete with another windless thud. Fighting through the lightheaded sensation was a struggle, and I pulled myself into a sitting stance, the wound in my side nearly paralyzing. I could pass out once I got to the apartment — but, for now, I was forcing myself to stay awake. The ache down to my bones was nearly indescribable as I used a trashcan to pull myself into a stance.
Though, it didn't matter once I let go.
My wounded leg under me gave out completely, buckling under the weight of my body. I fell back down to the ground, my back hitting the wall behind me. The paralyzing sensation struck down my spine and I froze, groaning through clenched teeth. After the rigidness subsided and I could finally take a breath, I grabbed the trash can once again. "Piece of fucking shit," I grumbled as I stood, letting my leg drag behind me as I used the wall, bikes and trash cans as support, pulling myself back to the street Niragi and I had just come from.
I needed to get back to him.
If he made it back to the apartment and awaited for my return as I was barely able to make it a foot in front of me under thirty seconds, he'd probably come looking for me. And it wasn't that I was opposed to that, but with the King of Spades still alive, I didn't want him to risk his life to find me.
An issue raised, however, when I reached the end of the alley: the wall and trash cans came to an end, and the closet car was a few feet away. My leg wouldn't hold up under me long enough to reach it. With a frustrated sigh, and stepped onto the sidewalk and sank down, looking around for something.
But, there was nothing.
Nothing around me could ease my way to the car. It was, unfortunately, my only option to crawl — more-so pull myself. My already scraped skin couldn't possibly get worse. Digging my fingers into the edge of the sidewalk, I winced as I pulled my body onto the street, using my unwounded leg to kick off the edge and to the car.
I grabbed the mirror and door handle, standing up wobbly before looking around. Niragi went to the left, presumably down the alleyway. There really wasn't anywhere else to go. So, with bated breath, I struggled me way over to it.
It was by the time I finally got myself to the end of the alley that the sun was beginning to set; dragging myself across the street and hobbling on one foot against a wall is truly a time consumer. In the darkening street, I let myself fall to the ground. My palms struck the pavement harshly and I grimaced as I pushed myself into a sitting position.
This sucked.
I was ages away from my apartment. Niragi had no idea where I was, nor did I have a clue where he was. My leg ached a violent pain that nearly made it feel completely numb, and my side occasionally left my body rigid. My eyes shut for a moment as I tilted my head back, opening them up to look at the blackening sky.
It didn't feel right going out like this, not in this reality. Out of all the possible ways to die, I go out from gun wounds. It felt sort of stupid, to go out like that. Yet again, it also felt stupid to be upset about dying this way rather than being boiled alive.
Below me, my leg looked horrid. The cold limb completely soddened my leggings with blood. Perhaps to make it worse, the bullet was still lodged inside; only a hole sat on the back of my calf, while the front was untouched.
It was a problem I needed to deal with, but it was a problem that was going to have to wait till I made it back to the apartment. Though, at the rate things were going, that wouldn't happen.
I looked back at the street in front of me. Dented and rusted cars were everywhere, being surrounded by lush green of grass and weeds. Everything was overgrown now. In a way I liked it; the way nature was reclaiming herself. Sooner or later, everything would crumble and be buried under the moss, myself included.
Just as I was about to mope about being alone, however, I heard it. A voice. It belonged to a guy, a lilt in his tone. I perked up at the sound, trying to find the source. Silence followed for only a few seconds when another voice spoke, and I felt a rush of adrenaline pump through me.
Leaning forward, I dragged myself to the car ahead of me, digging my fingers into the hood to help myself stand. In front of me, in a small clearing, resting against a car, Niragi. One of his legs was extended while the other was close to his gauzed chest, his drooping eyes staring blankly into space. Across from him sat a blonde, his white hoodie dampened red with blood. I had seen him a few times at The Beach, though we never spoke.
"Niragi," I spoke gently, moving around the car. He looked over either from my voice or the sound of my dragging foot, and I could see his blank stare shift into a grateful one, a faint smile on his pained face.
"Kana." I stopped once I reached the other side of the car, trying to find a way to him. There wasn't, though, not without crawling. I got onto the ground and pulled myself to him, his arm extending out to me when I got close enough. He pulled me with a pained expression until my head hit his lap, a tired and stressed sigh escaping me. "What happened?"
"He got me in the leg," I complained, rolling onto my side that wasn't injured. It left me facing the blonde, his eyes gazing at us. I looked away, attempting to look back at Niragi. "I'm okay, though. What happened here?"
"Your boyfriends got a nasty love for guns," a blonde said from across way, and I looked over at him.
"I was only getting you back," Niragi spat.
The blonde gave him a smile, then returned his gaze to mine. "Kana. Never thought I'd meet someone Niragi properly liked." His hair, most of it hidden under his hood with small bang pieces exposed, moved with the wind. A flyer scraped by the street, and I saw a small food advertisement.
Though, I didn't pay it much attention. "Who's that?"
"A nosy fuck," Niragi said before coughing violently. It was a wet cough; I could hear something breaking up with each cough. Beside him, and I looked over to see a small pool of red. Noticing my stare, he sighed. "I'm fine. Don't worry."
"Chishiya," the blonde responded, a slight slyness in his upturned smile, I noticed. "I helped your boyfriend at The Beach, though he never seemed to appreciate it."
I heard Niragi scoff. "If you weren't so condescending, I might've." Chishiya's casual smile only stayed, his head resting on the car behind him. Somehow, I missed the blimp overhead, only noticing it when I saw Chishiya look up.
Queen of Hearts.
The blimp was circling a building, the cars waving in the wind. "It's the final one. King of Spades went down earlier, after we got separated." It was the final game? Hearing that felt unrealistic; the thought of getting to leave these games had never really occurred, so watching the final one swirl around like a taunt didn't set right. "Arisu and Usagi from The Beach are playing," Chishiya added. "Decent players. Might be able to make it out with them two."
Niragi scoffed another laugh before it turned into another fit of coughing. After he spit out more blood beside us, a silence overtook. There wasn't much to say even if we tried to speak; the anticipation of the final game was high, leaving us on edge. On top of that, the lightheaded prickle that had been lingering was coating my body. There were a few times when Niragi's coughs snapped me to full alertness, my head snapping up. Chishiya across the street was seeming more faded as well, his eyes drooping with the same tiredness I was experiencing; the blood on his hoodie was darkening with the continual outpour.
When I felt myself slipping away once more, a soft voice rang through the sky. Congratulations. All the games have now been cleared. All of us jolted at the sound, jolting again when a mighty boom clapped through the sky following her sentence. We looked up at the at the burning Queen of Hearts blimp — what was left of it. A second explosion sounded off as it began to dwindle down to the ground. As it sank behind the skyscraper, dozens of fireworks lit up the night sky.
The final game was completed.
Niragi's head rested the back of the car softly. "I didn't think they could do it." Another cough, another chunk of blood spat out. "Fuck, man."
Now, all the surviving players will be given a choice. Please select whether you'll choose permanent residence in this land or if you will not accept it. She repeated herself as I looked down at Chishiya, his eyes watching the fireworks. His eyes were calm. "I don't want it, I think?" He looked down at us. "What will you to do?"
Niragi inhaled a rattly breath. "I don't want it." Niragi's hand rested on my shoulder, rubbing it soothingly.
In my tiredness, I could've fallen asleep. "I don't want it," I managed out before nestling my head further into his lap. I was safe, wasn't I? With the games complete, with Niragi beside me. Could I not finally rest?
"Kana." Niragi's words awoke me, though I didn't mind the interruption. I hummed softly, rolling my head back to look at him. He, too, looked as tired as Chishiya — as tired as myself felt — a wear in his heavy eyes. "I'll come back to you, okay? I'll be at your apartment as soon as possible." My heart felt a flutter again; it was silly how his promise to return to me, after everything we had been through in this reality, made me eager to see him.
"Promise me."
Another laugh, one that led to a small coughing fit. When he regained control, he took a deep breath. "I promise."