Captain Man x Reader | Henry Danger Reader Insert: SEASON 5

Episode 28: Visible Brad (SMUT)

*Hello, friends.

Because I acted like a doofus, messing with the book covers a few times and giving everyone a headache (myself included), I present you with a peace offering. Smut at the end of the chapter, people.

It's not massively smutty, but I've had the idea for a while, and this seemed like a good time to use it :)

This episode was awkward to watch since TatiAHna is played by IRL Ray's (Cooper Barnes) wife, so the scenes with her were fun to type up. I'm simping over the man, and she's right there - but this is Ray and (y/n) we're talking about, and they fight criminals in red tights. Real life doesn't apply here.

Sorry for the confusion over the covers; the ones on now are permanent - I like them a lot :)

I'll tell you all when the smut starts.

Let's go, let's goooooo <3

~The Man Cave~

He was a sweetheart. A little misguided, perhaps, but an utter and total sweetheart.

Ray was in love. He swore he'd never be like all of those other guys - fools; he called them - who threw all their vocations away for a single glance from a pretty girl, who uprooted and disturbed their everyday lives just for a simple date - who, like him, were born ambitious and self-assured for a life of glory, only to disregard all of it when they found "the one".

"The one" had always been elusive, yet in front of his stupid face. She was quiet, shy and tentative, afraid to step on anyone's toes, least of all his when they first met. He was Captain Man, destined to be great and beloved by the city - a hero - so he focused on his image, operations and goals.

It wasn't until a while later that he realised that for all his ambitions, successes and missions, his greatest one was to be loved by her.

Underneath the red and blue spandex, when the city was saved, and the cameras moved on to the next big story, he was just a simple man. The only son from a broken family with no prospects other than the certainty he'd sell his soul to give her the best life, to make her feel safe, and to forget his search for glory and purpose because he found it with her.

To let him be the fool who would love her the most out of them all.

A single note from a pitch pipe rang out, signalling to the group assembled in front of Ray that their chorus was about to begin. A barbershop quartet, as it were, with Henry, Schwoz, Charlotte, and their enthusiastic leader dressed in crisp, starchy shirts, red Dickie bows, bright red and white pinstripe waistcoats, sleek trousers, perfectly shined shoes and quaint straws hats. Their outfits certainly brightened the spirits, even if they were hugely embarrassing.

For all his toughness, Ray was a romantic at heart - and it showed.

"And, five, six, seven, eight—"

"Ray, this is lame!" The teens and genius sang after the man counted them in. Their performance was admirable, but Ray didn't smile as they sank to one knee and shook their hats like an actual quartet. It was like a betrayal for the man since he'd asked them for a small, slightly humiliating favour for their favourite person in the Man Cave, and now, they were returning on their word.

"What?" He scoffed, looking like an adorable dork in the dapper, white shirt (y/n) had ironed for him that morning. If only she knew what it was for.

"And we all quiiiiiiit!" Henry finished, and the group turned to split before he had them snapping their fingers along to corny tunes and acting like morons. Maybe they had promised to help him woo his sweet girl, but in all the time they'd known her, the trio could swear she'd never shown an interest in anything like this. So, when Ray whined at them to help him out, it came as a surprise - a bothersome predicament.

"You guys can't quit. Come on!" He begged them, placing his hands on Schwoz's shoulders so he couldn't walk away. "I got a date with (y/n), and she told me she's always wanted to see a barbershop quartet!"

"Yeah, why would she want that?" Henry asked, thinking the dorky singers were lame, not the woman's style. They went on a million dates per month, so he didn't see why they couldn't settle for a restaurant or movie theatre like they usually did, but Ray was determined. She could have what she wanted because he promised to give her the world, which involved dorky singers in waistcoats.

"My sweet girl said she loves three things—barbershop quartets, good listeners, and one thing I cannot mention."

"Why can't you mention it? Let me guess, you can't remember 'cause you weren't listening," Charlotte smirked, assuming her boss had been mooching around with (y/n), probably chatting before they went to sleep since that's where she said her doofus surprisingly spoke like a Harvard professor, and when she was talking about herself, his egotistical brain turned to mush.

In her experience, Ray Manchester didn't do listening to others, especially when they were talking about themselves, but this was different. (y/n) was different.

"Hey, I always listen to my sweet girl!" The hero replied sternly, his lips pursed and his forehead wrinkled as he became as solemn as possible. He wasn't joking; she could talk about wild Alaskan salmon for all he cared, and he'd still hang on to her every word, thinking about how perfect she was—too good for him.

"Let's just say it's something...personal...for grown-ups—"

"Okay, gonna stop you there!" The girl quickly said, rushing to get out of the conversation before she heard something traumatising, and Ray smirked at her explosive reaction. Technically, it was her fault since she'd asked and insinuated that he was a substandard lover, something he couldn't accept since he always tried his best, as proven by his heartwarming effort to do something unique and spontaneous for his future wife.

The restaurants and movies were good, but this was better.

Before he could scar the poor children, the elevator hit the ground, and the door opened, revealing the woman of the moment, grinning and chatting with someone unexpected and if Ray was completely honest, unwelcome. Piper.

She was like a puppy who wouldn't leave him or his family alone. Ever since she'd accidentally discovered their secret, Piper had barely left the Man Cave, wanting and somewhat forcing herself into the inhabitants' daily lives like she was one of them. But she wasn't. She was a pain in Ray's ass, no matter if she was Henry's sister or (y/n)'s young friend.

"—forgot how many people we invited. There's, like, a million invitations here," (y/n) muttered as they stepped into the room, a small, floral-print box in her hand since she'd returned from a quick trip to an artsy card shop for her and Ray's recently ordered wedding invitations.

She'd met Piper on the way home and told the girl about it, including how she thought their list was alarmingly long. And they were just the people they had to invite. Apparently.

"Sorry, I'm late. Traffic, am I right?" Piper greeted her newfound boss and colleagues with a charismatic smile as she tried to worm her way into their crazy world.

To impress, she'd put on her best pantsuit - a grey primped and pressed outfit with all the complimenting accessories - and had collected everything she thought she'd need for another day in the office. Her girlfriends insisted they weren't so formal, but first impressions counted for everything, mainly when the man she was hoping to impress was so picky.

"Hey, sweetheart," (y/n) swiftly stepped over to Ray before his eyes fell out of his head as she saw his face lighten and then darken within a moment. He loved seeing her, but the bratty girl made his teeth grind together, and toes curl, so she hoped to distract him from that by moving in for their usual, affectionate greeting.

"Precious girl..."

She pulled him in for a tender kiss as she guided his arms around her hips, knowing he might try and scratch the poor girl's eyes out for daring to enter their Man Cave. Ray relaxed against her lips, running his fingers through her hair and sighing into the kiss as he relished the honeyed sweetness after a whole half an hour of not seeing her, and by the time they pulled away, their friends were rolling their eyes and he'd nearly forgotten about the intruder.

And then, (y/n) saw something odd, causing him to whimper when she stepped out of his embrace to see if her eyes were seeing what she was seeing.

"Doofus, why are you dressed like a doofus?" She asked as she absorbed her lover's outfit, from the silly hat to the garish colours, and he giggled at her confused frown. Bless her pretty little heart; she must've forgotten that conversation three weeks ago at ten minutes to midnight when she told him about how she'd wanted to see this thing in real life since she was little.

This was perfect, and if he did say so himself, his biceps looked great in this outfit. A win-win for both of them.

"In fact, why are you all dressed like doofuses?" She asked, looking at Henry, Charlotte and Schwoz too, but no one said anything. Instead, they folded their arms and glared at Ray, who ignored their silly complaints and looked at her with so much love as he raised her knuckles to his lips and explained.

"Don't you remember, darlin'?" He smiled softly, wrapping her up in his arms again, "a few weeks ago, you said you'd never seen a barbershop quartet, and we should see one on our next date. Well, sweet girl, I've got news for you 'cause I'm bringing the quartet...to you!"

(y/n) looked to the side at her unimpressed friends and then back at her excited doofus, who couldn't be more adorable if he tried. He was a sweetheart, even if his attempt wasn't strictly accurate. Honestly, she didn't like quartets. She didn't dislike them either. It wasn't love or hate; it was just indifference...because they were barbershop quartets - not something she'd ever given much thought about.

He'd tried so hard, and it melted her heart as he gestured wildly toward the unbothered group, but she had to let him know. She couldn't lie, even if she risked kicking her puppy-like darling.

"Ray...I never said I love barbershop quartets," the woman revealed slowly, watching with a wince as his face fell and his arms went slack around her body. His bottom lip wobbled, and he looked crestfallen as if he was about to cry, particularly when his fellow singers groaned and threw their hands up because he'd roped them into another of his cockups.

"What? But you said..."

"I said I love The Barber of Seville—y'know, the opera? I said, one day, maybe, if we feel like splurging a few hundred dollars, we could dress up all fancy and pretend we're millionaires or something at the opera," she explained, shuffling her feet and trailing her fingers against his chest to try and distract him from his small mistake. Ray thought hard and long for a minute or two as their conversation flooded back.

Now he remembered; she loved the drama, the sadness, the soulful voices and the idea of waltzing through the high-society circles on a man's arm as they gossiped about him, albeit if he was wearing a mask. He'd wear a tux, she'd wear a ball gown, and they'd buy box seats as if they were royalty or something - she could be the queen she was, if only for one evening.

"Oh...yeah. Oops."

"Nice one, Ray."

"Why do you always do this?"

"Use your listening skills for once!" A round of groans and disgruntled comments circulated the room, with Schwoz nearly crumpling his boater hat until he realised how stiff the straw was. Henry thumped the man on the arm whilst Charlotte rolled her eyes and released a feral growl, but Ray ignored them in favour of sheepishly looking at his precious fiancée.

"We're still on for date night, though, right?"

"Of course. Just don't wear this natty getup. It clashes with your eyes," (y/n) flirted, raking her flat palm down his silky waistcoat and loving it when his eyes darkened. His fingers curled under her chin and brought her into another gentle yet passionate kiss as excitement bubbled in their stomachs at the idea of a peaceful evening together without any interruptions from children or their various duties.

But speaking about interruptions from children...

"So...is there assigned seating, or should I just grab any open desk?" Piper spoke up as she placed her box of generic office essentials on the table and glanced over at the happy couple. Talk about workplace romance; those two were all over each other, something her Captain Man-Miss Danger fan page would subtly reinforce whenever she skipped to the photocopier or bathroom for a two-minute break—as she saw on TV sitcoms.

"Uh, we don't have desks," Henry replied awkwardly as he analysed the room, which had a relaxed, informal vibe, like what Ray and (y/n) liked. This was their home, not just where they worked, and speaking of the grumpy man, he didn't look pleased to cut the kiss short because of an irritating problem that wouldn't go away.

"Riiiight, open workspace. Very modern, kind of a start-up vibe. I like your style here, (y/n/n)."

"Uh, you don't work here," Ray told her politely as he pressed a final kiss to his darling's cheek before walking over to the girl and her junk. He didn't want to be rude, but it was damn hard as he picked up the family photo she'd pulled from the box and dumped it back in, not wanting his Man Cave to be filled with crap. The only images he wanted were the ones of his family, namely his precious girl, their adopted "babies", as she called them, and maybe Schwoz - if he was feeling nice.

The last thing he needed or wanted was another bothersome kid running around his feet when he'd barely gotten used to the last one that had turned up, especially when he had the worst timing in the world. Jasper - annoying, weird Jasper - suddenly appeared from the elevator with nothing more than a ding alerting the crew down there of his arrival until he was hanging out of the door and addressing...Piper?

"Yo, yo, Piper! Phone call for you on line two!"

"Curly? What are you—?" (y/n) frowned at the boy's sudden appearance, and Ray turned around to see what he would class as his children running amok in his Man Cave-turned-daycare. They were everywhere, and they talked to each other.

"Take a message."

"You're the boss," the boy nodded at the girl's instruction before he disappeared back up to Junk-N-Stuff, but despite his brief appearance, Ray growled at the interaction. It was like they were trying to wind him up; one minute in her supposed job and Piper was already stealing his job and running the show. What next? Would she stand in his place at the altar? Would she go out and punch criminals while he moped at home?

"She's not the boss. I am!" He called after Jasper, but he was already gone. So, to cheer him up, (y/n) stepped forward and latched onto one of his arms, hoping the contact would make him perk up, which it did since he could feel her checking out his bulging muscles.

"When did Junk-N-Stuff get a second phone line? Oh, and also, you don't work here!" He rambled further, ignoring the burning in his lower stomach as he thought about how much his fiancée loved his arms - her confession, not his.

Still, he had a mission, so he had to remain focused because he couldn't tolerate a brat in his home. Not a smart-ass one like Piper, and certainly not when she kept taking out worthless knickknacks.

"Oh, well. That's too bad because I heard about a crime that just went down at the Museum of Boring History, so..." the girl replied sassily, folding her arms as Ray took a minute to ponder her cryptic words. He loved hearing about juicy crimes, but he couldn't take her seriously. That was like working with the enemy, so no matter how interested he was, he said nothing, hoping it wouldn't give Piper any satisfaction or inkling she was needed.

"Oh, yeah?"

"What happened?" His young helpers, however, didn't get the memo. Henry and Charlotte perked up from their seats on the steps of the tubes, looking concerned even when Ray wiggled his eyebrows as a sign for them to shut it. (y/n) also listened to the girl, hugging her body to her doofus' arm as she did since his dapper shirt was just criminal when he had those biceps, which made Piper smirk anyway.

"Someone stole The Swellview Declaration of Independence."

"Really?"

"Are you serious? We've got to do something!" The teens gasped at her words, standing up whilst she walked over to them with her hands shoved deep into her silk-lined pockets. Charlotte would have to get the name of her tailor, but first and foremost, Henry and Schwoz were concerned about this tragedy because the declaration was boring and pretty important.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, hold on," Ray spoke before anyone got too excited since he had a date to prepare for and a pretty girl hanging off his body; going off into the unknown from a so-called tipoff was stupid to even by his terms.

"We don't even know if it happened, okay? I'm not going to run off with my insanely hot fiancée and start breaking teeth just 'cause Patty Pantsuit here said so."

"It's all over social media. You guys don't follow JuicyCrimesAndMemes?" Piper explained, looking at her fellow young people as they pulled the PearPhones from their pockets. Memes weren't crucial, but crime tips always were, so they ignored Ray's groans and hit the follow button.

"Uh, we don't get crime tips from meme accounts. Tell them, sweet girl," the boss said sternly as he folded his arms, stretching and stiffening the muscles there so the woman with her hands on them practically melted. He looked down at her, ignorant to her dilated pupils and how her tongue darted out to moisten her dry lips since he was a grumpy pants, but despite her desire to kiss his adorable face off, she was still rational.

"Doofus, let's at least hear what it says," (y/n) told her, standing on her tiptoes to peck his cheek, which brought a brief glimmer of a smile to the hero's sour face.

"Perp broke in this morning. Standard B and E, except witnesses, say a guy in a mask grabbed the declaration, turned himself into a pigeon and then disappeared in a puff of smoke," Piper read from the meme account before turning to her friend's stubborn lover with her trademark sass, "but that's none of my business—Kermit drinking a cup of tea."

"Wait, wait, wait, a puff of smoke? A pigeon? That sounds like a magic trick," (y/n) said thoughtfully, looking pensive as she analysed the crime report, which was a tad more colourful than their run-of-the-mill robbery or heist. It seemed strange, but luckily, they specialised in odd, even though her doofus was still highly sceptical of what seemed more like someone having a good laugh.

"It sounds like a steaming load of horchata!" He grumbled, holding his tongue slightly since children were present, but everyone knew what he meant. They also knew he just wanted to spend the afternoon cuddling with (y/n) and telling her how he would spoil her, treat her, and make tonight all about her—blah, blah, blah, blah. He couldn't do that if he were off fighting disappearing pigeons.

"Wow..." Henry rolled his eyes at the drama queen, but suddenly, the relatively peaceful atmosphere was shattered by the blare of the emergency alarm. Why was its timing always so uncanny?

"Emergency call!"

"Oh, look! It's a crime that really happened," Ray said childishly as he stopped Charlotte from going over to the supercomputer so that he could answer it himself. Piper ignored him, having heard about his legendary ego and stubbornness from her friends and brother, and she didn't care if he had a point to prove. She did too.

"Captain Man Emergency Line, how may I punch your problem?" The man answered the call smoothly, but not in the traditional way. Having grown tired of walking and being limited to one corner of his Man Cave, Ray had insisted that they needed a handheld extension - y'know, so he could stay cuddling his sweet girl on the couch and not have to leave her alone whenever someone needed help. His tone differed from night to day as he used charisma like only Captain Man could...or Ray Manchester when he was flirting with (y/n) (y/l/n).

"Museum of Boring History? All right..." he spoke to the person on the other end, and a steadily-growing smirk appeared on Piper's face as they heard more and more snippets of a familiar story.

"Really? The Swellview Declaration of Independence?" He went on, causing Piper to inch closer and closer to him as (y/n) rubbed his arm, knowing it would comfort him and indulge her. "Mm-hmm. Well, let me ask you this. What kind of a bird did he turn in—oh, a pigeon? Uh...thank you for your call."

"So, who was it?" The girl asked with a shit-eating grin, knowing she'd proven the great hero wrong as he gingerly returned the whacky mobile to the computer. He felt dumb, considering he'd done his job for twenty years or more, and she'd done it for what? Twenty seconds? Pretty embarrassing.

"Wrong number."

"Really?" Piper arched an eyebrow at his evasive response, squinting at how he crossed an arm across his body so he could pat the hand nestled in the crook of his arm. They were cute together - so adorable - but she couldn't squeal and say they were her OTP when he already knew he was the luckiest man in the world - what a way to inflate his ego.

"Yes. They were trying to order a pizza," he snapped before squeezing (y/n)'s hand again because the brat had overstayed her welcome and needed shoving out the door.

"What are you doing here? Why don't you give those work clothes back to the grown-up you stole them from? Because I'm the boss, you don't work here, and it's time to go back to nursery school, little girl, and remember that everything you said was wrong, okay? So, bye, bye! Bye, bye. Bye, bye!" He smiled sourly as he pushed the girl toward the elevator, ignoring her confused look as he spammed the button to remove her from his sight.

"Doofus, that was mean," (y/n) scolded him gently as she moved away from the supercomputer and stood in the middle of the room, her arms folded. Everyone agreed not to wipe Piper's memory, and Ray knew better than to go against her like that, not that he ever would, so it made sense to let her hang around the place. Everyone else did that, but when he turned to her and the others, Ray looked...excited.

"Okay, everything she said was right..." he revealed, unafraid to admit how wrong he was now his family surrounded him. Sighing at his fluctuating mood and sudden change of face, Henry stood up from the step and straightened himself out as he shared a knowing look with the woman a few steps away. They never got to relax for long, so they prepared themselves to blow some gum and head out.

"Let's go...wait, where are we going?" The boy questioned as his enthusiasm dipped because he'd heard a lot of lip but no actual solid plans. However, Ray hadn't sent the elevator anywhere, and much to his annoyance, Piper was still lurking in the metal box, listening to their every word - including his reluctant admittance.

"I'd start by going to The Magic Palace, but that's none of my business—Kermit drinking tea," she butted in as the door reopened, revealing that she'd not moved an inch. It was helpful advice, but Captain Man didn't see it that way. In a flash, he skidded across the room, enraged by the girl's sarcasm and bigheaded behaviour - two bullheaded people fighting for dominance - and shoved her back inside.

"Get out of here!"

"Good luck!" He spammed the button again, hoping to send her away, but Piper still had enough time to wave goodbye to her brother and friends, knowing they had a fight and a mystery on their hands. Ray still frowned, though; he was so grumpy.

"You know, that's not a bad idea—" Charlotte noted once the girl had gone, which was exactly what her boss didn't want to hear. He looked so salty, even when (y/n) walked over to him with a bemused smile and looped her arms around his waist. She could talk for hours about how much her doofus disliked Piper, thinking she was rude, abrasive and egotistical, but she always pointed out how people thought that about him, and she knew he wasn't. With the right people, Piper was a sweetheart, and honestly, she had a lot in joint with the guy.

"Henry (y/n) and I are going to The Magic Palace because I had the idea. Because it was my idea because I'm the boss. Who's the boss? I am! I'm the boss of this place! This place is where I am the boss! Okay? Not you, not her, not him! I am! I am the booooooossss!"

"Are you quite finished?" (y/n) deadpanned as Ray's tantrum raged on, but unlike her slightly startled companions, she was calm in the face of his battiness - another thing that tied him to the girl he hated so much. There was no doubt about who was the boss of the Man Cave, and Schwoz and the kids were more than happy to let her handle him.

"Maybe..." Ray replied, scuffing his shined shoe against the tiles whilst he stared at them, looking like a scolded child as he faced his sweet girl and her tightly folded arms. He didn't know what came over him, but that girl irritated him more than Jasper from how smug she was, and that said a lot.

"Do you need help with anything?" She went on, her tone firm but fair as she waited for him to calm down, and for his sweet girl, Ray could do that. A stone sat in his stomach whenever she looked at him like that, and its weight never lifted until he got her smile back, so even though the great Captain Man had to eat humble pie, he nodded.

"I need help comin' up with a blowin' bubble rhyme. That's about it, though," he huffed, acting all sour and stroppy because it took a lot to admit he was wrong, but it was a small step. She nodded back at that, glad he'd calmed down enough for a grown-up conversation, but then, Henry's phone beeped, indicating he had a text, which Ray wouldn't like.

"It's Piper. She's sent us a rhyme," he read, causing the man's face to fall and (y/n) to facepalm. Even upstairs, she was still haunting him, and the heroine watched as his jaw set in a harsh line; how did she know?

"Are you kidding me?!"

"No, I'm not kidding you," Henry replied, eyes skimming over the text so he didn't see Ray's face fall. All he felt was the man and his sweet girl brushing against his shoulder as they read over it, and he wouldn't like how witty it was.

"She said, uh, let's go on a mission to catch a magician. I actually like that a lot..."

"That's a good one!"
"Solid rhyme."
"We should get her to think of more of those..." Charlotte, Schwoz and (y/n) agreed with the kid, nodding as the cutesy rhyme made them giggle. Ray found himself at a loss as he pulled out his gumballs, mirroring his sidekicks because even he couldn't say it wasn't good - the line was fucking brilliant. It still stung, though, since his mind drew a blank, meaning he pummelled the gum with his teeth like a madman.

"Raymond, chew like a big boy, or we're not going out to play," (y/n) remarked with her mouth full, seeing how angry he looked over the littlest thing, and it was only because of her infinite love for him that she brushed her thumb over his forehead to smoothen the creases left by his frowning. She didn't like to see him so unhappy, but dealing with his tantrums was even worse.

"Yes, dear..." he grumbled, slowing down his chewing since they weren't in a rush. The Magic Palace wasn't going anywhere, and he hated disappointing his precious girl - with his temper, of all things. It may get the best of him, but as their bubbles grew, their friends couldn't help but grin like Cheshire cats.

Ray was in love, and it showed. He would've never bowed to anyone like that before he met (y/n), the one who turned him into a lovesick fool. They saw brief glimmers of the real sweetheart he could be when she was around, and for that, she earned the title of boss, and he was more than happy to stand back, be a simple man, and watch her shine.

~The Magic Palace~

"This place is so kooky," (y/n) whispered as they entered the mystical building - a literal castle in the middle of Swellview. The Magic Palace was famed throughout the city for hosting the most fantastic magic shows around, meaning it was a hub for any magician worth their salt and where the three heroes guessed their man would be.

Captain Man, Miss Danger and Kid Danger walked into the palace like they owned the place, undaunted by the overwhelming but not unpleasant aroma of burning incense when they passed into the first room. Everything was so dark and made of rich fabrics like silk or velvet, with thick, luxurious mahogany furniture filling every corner. Knickknacks and various magical props were displayed in the gaps to impress guests.

If (y/n) was a magician, she'd want to hang out there, but not as a superheroine. In her bright uniform, she felt out of place, especially when they entered - what she assumed was - the magician's lobby, where a lady magician waited for anyone entering the inner sanctum.

"Hello. Abracadabra."

"Yes, abracadabra." Ray and Henry greeted the woman confidently, using their rehearsed, heroic charm like they'd done many times before. The woman was pretty with her bohemian, corseted dress, jacket and top hat, but even when they waved at her, she seemed more interested in her magic trick than whatever they wanted.

"Cool trick," (y/n) smiled at her as she watched the lady magician stretch a piece of rope until it could balance on her finger - the wonder coming when it stayed rigid, sticklike and didn't flop like a noodle. They applauded her softly, knowing a craftswoman always wanted her work to be appreciated, and upon completing her trick, the woman finally acknowledged them.

"Thank you. I'm Tatiana. Welcome to The Magic Palace," she said mysteriously in a low, harmonious voice, moving her hand in front of her face to show she had magic, and they didn't. With a click of her fingers, the rope became limp again, falling down her arm to their surprised delight, although (y/n) got the feeling that all magicians liked showing off a teeny-weeny bit.

She was a scientist, so deep down, she ruled them all as charlatans, con artists, and a load of old phonies. Most of it was just dumb luck, props and minor psychology, hardly the stuff of Camelot and Merlin.

"Oh, even better..."
"Second trick..." they clapped politely and praised her performance, which seemed to appease the woman and her bizarre frostiness, but perhaps that was just how she was. Maybe she took the "mysterious girl" vibe in high school and ran with it so far that she hadn't yet stopped. Whatever she was like, they had to remember that they had a job to do, and wowing at a gimmick wasn't going to help catch their thief.

"So, Tatiana. We have some questions about a museum theft," Ray informed the bemused woman, whose mischievous smile deepened at the sound of his Captain Man voice. He felt his sweet girl slip her hand into his, which didn't go unnoticed by the impish witch, who loved to play with the ordinary folk who walked through her door. And couples were so easy to run rings around.

"Yes, we'd like to speak to some magicians," (y/n) nodded, feeling her doofus squeeze her hand once as a small comfort. He felt a little out of place, too and noted in the back of his mind that there were one too many shadowy corners - ripe for sneak attacks - within the room, but he played it off well.

"Now. Abracadabra."

"Yes, abracadabra," he joked with Henry, who sniffed and rolled his shoulders confidently as the woman nodded, her hands poised on her right hip as if she was waiting for something to happen.

"The magicians are right behind this door in the Magician's Lounge," she told them, gesturing to a fancy, gold-embellished door across the plush rug, and the heroes didn't need to hear anymore. Their man and the declaration were in the next room, so simple enough to reach.

"Then, that is where we will go..." Ray said, primarily to his sidekicks since he was itching to start punching. So, he gestured for the boy and woman to follow him, moving to brush past the eternally smiling woman with his sweet girl close behind him, but he was stopped. The magician forced her back with her flat palm against his chest, stopping Captain Man in his tracks and causing Miss Danger to bump into his muscled back from the sudden pause.

"I just need to see a trick first."

"I'm sorry?"
"Huh? Trick?" The couple frowned, (y/n) peering around her lover's vast body, so she could see the playful eyes watching their every move and how Ray clenched his fists. He didn't like hearing "no", but Tatiana wouldn't budge, and none of them fancied being on the receiving end of her magic wand, although should he be turned into a frog, the heroine would certainly kiss him better.

"The Magician's Lounge is for magicians only. Can't you read the sign?" She sounded almost smug or condescending as she shook her head, her soft hair bouncing over her shoulders when she laughed at their confusion. Y'know, too much playfulness could be pretty annoying...

"What sign?"
"I don't see a sign." They looked around for one, thinking they could at least manage reading a piece of paper, but when their backs were turned, Tatiana pulled off another one of her tricks.

"Look again," she whispered huskily, snapping her fingers and throwing her arms above her head, and when they turned around, the trio noticed a sign had appeared. Another magic trick that (y/n)'s science couldn't explain on the spot, but she was sure there was a rational explanation. After all, things can't just disappear and reappear - that would be a molecular impossibility.

Still, she clapped and praised the woman when Ray and Henry did, reading that the gilded door was meant for wizards, warlocks, or whatever.

"Thank you...I'm Tatiana!" She repeated dramatically, pulling her fingers in front of her face again as if they didn't know who she was. Tatiana was an odd person, but suddenly, someone else entered the room. Behind the heroes, a particularly dull-looking man walked in from the entrance, wearing a standard pinstripe suit with averagely handsome features, whilst he shuffled a deck of cards in his hands. Had they known any better, the trio would've thought he was any bog-standard guy, but not.

Hey, Mysterio. Trick, please," the lady magician said but didn't phase the meek man as Captain Man, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger stood back to let him work his magic. Without skipping a beat, the man spread out his deck, creating a fan-like shape, which he presented to (y/n) and Ray as per the old ploy.

"Oh, boy...see some magic."

"Here we go...song and dance," the boys muttered as Ray let his sweet girl pluck a card at random since he was a gentleman, and it was always ladies first. Ever the sceptic with the superstitious mumbo-jumbo, the heroine rolled her eyes a little as she held her choice close to her chest, not that the magician cared. He seemed pretty confident as he reorganised his deck.

"Now, look at it," he commanded, so she did, gasping when she saw that the king of hearts wasn't in its usual design. It was uncanny as she took in the little image of her twinned lover posing on the card, flexing his muscles and causing her inside to flutter when she remembered that he was all hers - the true king of her heart.

"Sweet cheese, look, doofus! It's you!"

"It's me!" Ray cried in delight as she showed him the small pictograph, which went straight to Ray's head since it was massively pandering to his ego. Nevertheless, (y/n) conceded that it wasn't a lousy trick - still explainable in scientific terms - but also entertaining. Maybe he switched the card out somehow, or perhaps he'd been spying on them, both reasonable explanations, but she accepted defeat graciously so as not to make a scene.

"Impressive trick... Can I keep this?" She asked, growing strangely attached to the bemusing yet endearing memento since it was of the man she so desperately wanted to marry, but Mysterio gave her a kind smile.

"Keep what?" He asked with a wave of his hands, and in the blink of an eye, the card had disappeared from between her forefinger and thumb—under the noses of three highly trained, brilliant superheroes. Perhaps not so much of a conman now.

"Oh! Okay!"

"Okay! Okay, all right!"

"Thank you. I'm Mysterio," the magician grinned as everyone clapped, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. Tatiana had seen enough of his prowess, and without further hesitation, she snapped her fingers to unlock the door magically.

"Go right in," she told him, and the man left his applauding admirers behind as he headed for The Magician's Lounge. However, as impressed as Ray and Henry were, (y/n) didn't see why he should get to keep the peculiar, funky king of hearts when it pictured her doofus, so she chased after the man, hoping to strike a deal.

"Hey, I still want that card, dude—" she called after Mysterio, who'd already dashed through the door, not that it deterred her. Ray was hot on her heels like an enthralled puppy as she chased after her prize, only to be stopped by the woman guarding the sacred room. Before they could go any further, Tatiana jumped in front of her and placed a hand on the heroine's sternum, blocking her from the lounge and the cute card that would've looked so good propped up on her nightstand.

"Ah, ah, ah. No trick, no entry." It seemed simple enough; a fair rule, a fair deal, and it made sense to y/n), who didn't fancy crossing metaphorical blades with the woman who could turn the rope into stone, so she backed off. Unlike her doofus, who didn't like strangers putting their hands where they belonged or hearing "no".

"Okay, Tatiana..."
"We've all had fun..." Henry was ready to jump in at a moment's notice as Ray gently pulled his sweet girl behind his back, knowing he'd need to have her safe should things get ugly. However, even their most intimidating, puffed-up chests and clenched fists didn't scare the top hat-wearing woman, who grinned devilish and squinted her mirthful eyes at the apparent threat.

"But I'm going through that door, and there's nothing you can do to—" Ray exclaimed as he took evasive action, momentarily abandoning his sidekicks to try and gain entry to the lounge, dodging Tatiana as he hurled toward the door. Twisting the nob and rushing into the unknown was easy, but defying the laws of magic was not.

"—Stop me!" His broken words echoed in the room as he sped through one door, only to come out of another next to it like some mystical, optical illusion. He came skidding to a halt as he ended up in the same place he had before, looking around to see that he was back with Henry and his beloved fiancée - not a bad thing, but indeed, it was impossible.

"Hey, what wibbly-wobbly time-wimey brain-fuckery is this? I don't—this doesn't make sense," (y/n) gasped as she prodded the hero's peck to see if it was him, and the dense, familiar muscle underneath her muscle confirmed it. Whilst Mysterio entered The Magician's Lounge as intended, Ray was spat back out as if by...not even science could explain it, and she didn't like that.

"No trick, no entry," Tatiana emphasised, looking at them like it was apparent, but they weren't ready to give up yet.

"Okay, I want to try," Henry declared, and as his friend comforted the big doofus whining about his failure in her arms, he steamed ahead, thinking it was oh-so-easy. Ray probably just hadn't tried hard enough, so he body-slammed into the door with all his might, hoping to beat the woman's trick with speed and power—but it didn't work. He ended up like Ray, ploughing into the man and his darling girl as they glared at stupid Tatiana.

"No way! No way!" He laughed breathlessly as he tried to wrap his head around what had just happened, causing (y/n) to growl when their smug host smirked under his baffled praise. They had to beat her - her overconfidence was irritating.

"Okay, here's what I'm thinking..." Ray mumbled in her ear as Henry also listened in. Any sane person would order a tactical withdrawal, so they could return to the drawing board and devise a plan, but Ray wasn't rational. He was a doofus, a man of action, and not someone to chicken out.

"We should just leave and come back when we've thought of a plan?"

"Not, sweet girl," he shook his head, pinching (y/n)'s cheek since she was so adorable when she thought with that nuclear reactor of a stomach - constantly whizzing around and bubbling away. "I think that if that door leads to this door, then this door leads to...The Magician's Lounge!"

"Don't be a doofus all your life, doo—and he's gone..." his fiancée sighed as she watched him dash through the opposite door, the one, The Magician's Lounge, used to turn away unwanted visitors. Ray nipped in and disappeared behind the gold-plated opening, causing the room to fall silent for a second since he didn't shoot out of the other door—or any door, for that matter. Instead, a strange rumbling and groaning noise emitted from an Egyptian sarcophagus at the back of the room, causing the sidekicks to jump at the thought of a mummy returning to life.

Well, not mummy, more like a dummy as (y/n) and Henry put two and two together.

"No way..." the boy breathed out as he made eye contact with Tatiana and (y/n) tiptoed toward the spooky, ancient coffin. The witch nodded mischievously, her hands poised on her hip as she stood back and grinned, loving every second she got to play.

"Should I open this, or is a dead man wrapped in bandages gonna claw my face off?" The heroine asked as she waited next to the casket, wanting to let her doofus out since her heart said he was on the other side, but then her imagination got the best of her. She'd seen a card disappear into thin air; mythical monsters weren't hard to believe at this point, wildly when they thumped their fists against their burial cage.

"I would!"

"Okay, I'll take your word for it..." (y/n) gulped as Tatiana buzzed excitedly, eager for them to see the magic. Without further ado, she unlocked and pushed open the coffin, revealing her beloved doofus trapped inside with his arms crossed across his chest. He fell out into her arms, coughing, spitting and trying to calm his racing heart as Henry chuckled in awe.

"Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow..." he applauded as Ray fumbled and squeezed his sweet girl to see if she was honest and if he hadn't died or something because appearing in the sarcophagus sure felt like that. The air felt so close in there, pressing down on his chest, pinning his arms down so he couldn't move - his worst nightmare, and to make it worse, he didn't know if his pretty girl was okay.

"I couldn't breathe in that thing!" He gasped, glaring at that smirking Cheshire Cat of a woman as she gloated and basked in all the praise. She laughed at him and his pain, meaning Ray had to find sympathy from his sweet girl, who cooed and stroked his smooth cheeks as Henry kept clapping, ignoring his sulking boss since he had suffocated himself.

"Thank you... I'm Tatiana!" She repeated for the third and final time as the hero finally had enough of the practical jokes. He wasn't going to stand there just to be insulted and hear Henry sing that woman's praises; he was dumb, but he wasn't foolish. Ray knew when he was beaten, so he decided to do the smart thing and take his darling's advice, which he should've done in the first place.

"Yes, you are!" Henry smiled as the couple placed their hands on his shoulders and pulled him out of The Magic Palace before he embarrassed them any further. It was time to redraw, rethink and regroup, so they could return with a plan and enter that damn lounge under Tatiana's very nose. As if that would ever happen. Her eyes were all-seeing, her mind was all-knowing, and her magic was all-powerful - what did Captain Man and his sidekicks hope to achieve?

She was...Tatiana!

~The Man Cave~

Having returned from The Magic Palace, a storm descended on the Man Cave as the heroic trio entered and told everyone about their predicament. No one was particularly magical, but that didn't stop Charlotte, Jasper and Schwoz from jumping to it when Ray ordered them to perfect their best magic trick.

It didn't have to be anything significant or legendary, just something impressive enough to impress that smirking hyena in a dress, so she'd let them into the Freak's Lounge or whatever it was. So, with internet research and book consulting, everyone got to work, trying out every trick in the book.

Schwoz had decided to try out the double-ring trick, where two metal hoops were linked through each other, and all he had to do was separate them. For such an intelligent man, that didn't seem so difficult, but he soon found a roadblock as he tugged and twisted the metal in every way imaginable, only for the rings to remain stuck. This magic stuff was more complicated than it looked.

Henry's trick was going to be straightforward - easy being the operative yet elusive word. He had three small, red cups, and he would wow Tatiana by making a ball in one of the cups disappear after waving them around a bit, like every child's party entertainer did when he was small. However, it appeared as though the trick was a boo long him, not the other way around, as he lifted all three cups to find his ball, only to realise he'd made it disappear and didn't know how to get it back. He wasn't too hot, either.

Charlotte tried to magically unlock the handcuffs chained to her wrist, fiddling with them for more minutes than she cared to admit before she admitted defeat. Her audience would've left by the time she unlocked them, or maybe she would've starved to death.

(y/n) She was also facing difficulties as she gently placed a white dove into a borrowed top hat, laid a red cloth over it, and waved a magic wand over the mouth. If only her younger, science-obsessed, Swellview Tech-attending self could've seen her now, she would've laughed her head off. Superstitious mumbo-jumbo, and she was falling for it, expecting the dove to be gone when she removed the silken cloth, just for her face to fall when the cooing bird was still nestled into the plush lining. Nothing magical had happened, save for the now ruined hat, complete with bird doo-doo.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Ray, the one who gave the strict order to perfect a magic trick or else, didn't seem all that bothered that they were failing spectacularly. Everyone worked hard, and whilst they weren't successful, it was an admirable effort, unlike the man sitting at the supercomputer, occasionally tapping away at its controls as he stared at the PearPhone in his hands.

He was grinning for some reason, swiping on his phone as he inputted various details before completing an unknown transaction with a small fist pump. Whenever he had a few seconds spare, he'd refocus on the computer, surfing the web for a brilliant solution to their problem, not that it appeared like that to his family.

"Doofus, get off the computer and start learning a magic trick," (y/n) called from the couch as she stroked the useless bird in her top hat, glancing up to see her lover still sitting at the computer when he should've been helping or...kissing...her instead.

"No!" He replied stubbornly, getting suspicious when he shoved his phone into his pocket a little too fast for someone normal—as if he'd been caught texting by the teacher in the middle of class. (y/n) She raised her eyebrows, wondering what he'd been doing or looking at that meant no one else could know, but she shrugged it off. What her doofus searched for in his own time was his business, but she wanted to see him working like the others - after all, he set the example.

"Doof, you must do a magic trick to get into The Magician's Lounge."

"Well, sweet girl, we're gonna learn plenty of magic tricks at this...magic camp I just found!" Ray exclaimed as he shook off the shock of being caught in the middle of his master plan and turned to grin at his friends when an online ad flashed up on the monitor. It looked as though it was for children, and notably, (y/n) read that it was boys only, which left an acrid taste in her mouth at the thought of her fellow superheroes going off and having fun whilst she moped at home.

"Nice, dude!" Henry, however, didn't see a problem with it, not even clocking on that it was pretty OTT to join a camp just for one magic trick.

"Yeah! It starts tomorrow, and it costs...eighteen thousand dollars!" Ray revealed, eyes scanning the multicoloured leaflet for the crucial information, and it was as if (y/n)'s eyes fell out of her head.

"How much?!" She gasped, sitting up straighter and staring incredulously at her sheepish fiancé, who, admittedly, wasn't thrilled with the price either, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and he wanted to show that Tatiana her place, even if it meant he'd have to snuggle solo by the campfire.

Henry's enthusiasm shrank too when he heard the catch, his smile dropping as Ray tried to make it seem better, but there wasn't any point in arguing; (y/n) would kill them if they spent that much money on something so frivolous.

"What?! I am not paying eighteen thousand dollars to learn a magic trick."

"Well, it's not just magic. The website says we'll make friends and do some archery—oh, there's a big dance at the end with the girls' magic camp on the other side of the lake!! That's where you'll be going, sweet girl!" He gasped in excitement, a thrill ricocheting through his body at discovering that he wouldn't be completely alone after all. An entire lake between them was pretty daunting, but the idea of dancing with her, sharing marshmallows dipped in a chocolate fountain, and sharing shy kisses in shady corners made his heart speed up and his cheeks ache.

(y/n)'s, not so much.

"We're not going to magic camp, Raymond! I had enough at math camp and camp for whiz kids," (y/n) grumbled, shuddering as flashbacks flooded her mind. Oh god, getting picked last for teams, bonding, stitching patchwork blankets—nope, not again. And she certainly didn't fancy the idea of her lover being so far away, and she suspected he didn't either.

"Well, how else are we supposed to get into The Magician's Lounge?!" Ray snapped, not at her, but in general, and no one could blame him, given how frustrating the situation was. "I can't do card tricks. I can't make Schwoz disappear—believe me, I've tried!" The genius' mouth fell open in offence, but the hero wasn't finished.

"I can't make objects magically levitate with my mind!" he complained, waving his hands around wildly as his pretty girl shook her head at his antics, but in a way, she had to agree with him. Nothing was looking good, and it wasn't like they had forever - who knows what that maniac do with the declaration? - so they were stuck...until something weird happened.

Out of nowhere, as Ray waved his arms about, a stray hammer, screwdriver and wrench from Schwoz's repairs began to twitch. Then, they began to move. Then, they began to rise—higher and higher until they were floating in the air as if by magic, jerking around as though Ray had unlocked an unknown talent. Couldn't he be...could he? That big doofus; had he had a spell all this time and not realised it?

"Ayyyyye!"

"Holy shit..."

"What is going on?" Schwoz (y/n) and Charlotte - the Smarties - gasped as they watched the tools dance around in the air, something their faith in reason and logic couldn't explain. It was only fitting they'd be scared, but Ray loved it, believing he was even more special than he'd originally thought.

"Oh my god! I'm magic! I'm magic!" He cried as he hopped about the floor, unable to contain his excitement at the levitating tools, so he jumped over to his precious girl as she pulled herself up onto the couch, her hands finding his astonished face. He was so happy; it made her heart melt, and when he giggled, so did she, even if her tummy told her something wasn't right...

"You're magic! This changes everything!" Henry squeaked, his voice turning girlish as he shook on the couch, gazing up at his teary boss and all he could do.

"It was in me the whole time!"

"Well, doofus, do it again!" (y/n) encouraged him, playing into his excitement as he dotted fleeting, passionate kisses all over her face before quickly pulling back, but a part of her wanted to explore this more. It was only rational to experiment, to ensure the whole thing wasn't some fluke or a practical joke, and Ray was more than happy to indulge his future wife.

"Let me see if I can make Schwoz disappear!" He suggested when the small man caught his eye. Finally, his dream was coming true as he'd always said; he could, at last, make the bald, little, cockblocking weirdo disappear - although everyone knew he'd crumble without his right-hand man the second he went away.

"Nooooo! Ahhhh!" Schwoz squealed, scrambling for cover as Ray placed two fingers on his temple to try and make his powers work again, but they had an adverse effect. Instead of making the genius vanish, the wrench jumped to life, flying across the room until it hit the back of his head and sending the poor man to the floor with one hell of a headache.

"Oh my god, doofus!" (y/n) exclaimed as her eyes widened in horror, and she scrambled off the couch's back to rush to his side. Everyone else clapped and cheered for the brave hero, who'd put his indestructible self on the line to impress them with a daring trick, but she wasn't laughing. Anyone else and their brains would've been splattered across the tiles, so her heart thumped in her ears, and her hands searched for an impossible injury as Ray groaned and waited for the pain to pass.

"Nice trick, dude!"

"I didn't do that!" Ray hissed at them as his perfect girl helped him to his feet, cooing and fawning over nothing since the searing stabbing was a dull ache by the time he stood up, but she did it anyway, and he couldn't help but love it. He rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head, acting like it was worse than it was, so she'd keep gliding her hands over his chest and pecking his lips like the perfect little nurse she was.

"Then, who did?" Charlotte questioned with a slight frown, which was more directed at the high-pitched whining noise coming from the back of (y/n)'s throat as she petted her fiancé, who she knew was laying it on thick for her attention. Indestructibility, who?

"I'll give you a hint..." An unmistakable voice said. Immediately, everyone was on their feet as the shock caused their hearts to race and their guards to flare up because he wasn't welcome in the Man Cave, not after what happened last time. Ray protectively tugged his darling girl into his arms as she glared at thin air, knowing their invisible enemy was somewhere nearby, and she'd make a good guess that it was near her.

He'd always been a creep like that.

"He's handsome, single, and not wearing any pants," the irritating, taunting voice spoke again, causing Ray's hair to stand on end because he knew who that sentence was aimed at. His sweet girl was tough, strong, and more than capable of handing a guy his ass if she needed to, but around him, he couldn't help but curl around her like a doofy shield. There was too much history there, even if (y/n) wasn't a timid doormat anymore.

"Invisible Brad? Is that you?!" The hero growled as he swiped his immediate vicinity while keeping an arm wrapped around his fiancée's shoulders. She gulped the lump in her throat at the mention of his name, refusing to show any emotion since she'd moved past the terror he'd caused her, but it was still a touchy subject and him, so she eased into Ray's embrace and reminded herself that all that trouble was a long, long time ago.

"It sure is..." Brad replied, smirking at his old digs, although no one could see it. A lot had changed since the last time he'd turned up so suddenly in their lives; he noticed how Henry Hart and his girly friend had grown, how Schwoz hadn't moved in years, and...how close his old friends seemed to be.

Well...wasn't this a turnout for the books - Ray Manchester grew some and confessed to the hottest girl Brad had ever seen—oh, and what's this? A ring? Goddamn, he'd missed a lot, and they were grosser together than he could have ever imagined.

"You can't just come in the Man Cave whenever you want, Brad," (y/n) told him harshly as she relaxed into her doofus's embrace, content when he - possessively - kissed her neck and placed his chin on her crown to show the undoubtedly staring intruder that she was off-limits.

It was strange to think that the last time they saw him, neither knew that their feelings were reciprocated and still assumed they'd be "just friends" forever—even stranger when they thought about how Brad still tried to take (y/n) away from Ray, despite knowing he was head over heels in love with her. Well, he'd always had some death wish.

"Yes, I can, baby," the invisible terror gloated, knowing they couldn't do anything to stop him from wandering into the Man Cave since he knew all the secret entrances. He took great delight in watching Captain Man as he seethed in anger at the same-old name he'd always used around (y/n), no matter how much she hated it. He was so angry that he didn't notice Piper emerge from behind the secret door; who'd been working behind the scenes all morning, only to take and break and see her friends/frenemies talking to no one.

"Who's Brad, and why's he flirting with (y/n)?" She asked as she strolled in, a much-needed mug of coffee in her hand. She'd heard someone talking about her friend, who had a repulsed grimace on her face, and her moody boss was moodier than ever, glaring at the walls and floor since someone had flirted with his girl - she didn't blame him for that.

"Piper? What are you doing here?" Henry asked confusedly as everyone gasped from the second jump scare of the day. As if Ray didn't have enough problems, she had arrived, and right when he needed to focus on wrapping his sweet girl in cotton wool, adamant that Brad would hurt, upset or get her over his dead body—and even then, he'd haunt the shit out of him.

"I just made a fresh pot of coffee. Helps me get through the workday," she replied with a soft smile, causing Ray to sign and rest his knuckles on the table.

"You do not w—"

"Who's Brad? Why is he flirting with (y/n)?" She asked again, interrupting the man's punched-out utterance with a confused expression. The woman shuddered at the reminder, calming down only when her grumbling doofus draped his body over hers again, mumbling soothing words in her ear about how he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

"Invisible Brad. Some rando, who got turned invisible because of Ray, and he's this huge, weird, creepy crush on (y/n)," Henry explained, ignoring the eyes burning holes in the back of his head because that was the truth - depending on who he asked.

"It wasn't my fault! And she's my sweet girl. I'm in love with her, and I'll punch his stupid, invisible face if he comes near her!" Ray retaliated, squeezing his fiancée tightly as the thought of losing her in any way made him want to keep her safe, secure and with him. Brad was an asshole, and (y/n) was way too good for him—too good for anyone—but Ray was selfish and too in love with her to let her go after grabbing onto the idea she wanted to marry him. No one else. Just him.

"Was too! And I think we should let (y/n) decide! After all, I wouldn't keep her waiting over ten years for a date..."

"Shut up, Brad! Like I'd ever choose you when I have my doofus!" (y/n) growled as it was her turn to wrap her arms around her lover, clinging to Ray as his face darkened.

It was a bit of an open secret that he hated how long he'd waited to confess, how he'd dated every other thing with a pulse to spare himself from heartache, and how he'd left his precious girl lonely and hurting from his cowardice. But she wouldn't let him think like that; yes, it had been a long road, but they made it in the end, and they were happy. Irrefutably happy, and no one, certainly not Invisible Brad, was going to ruin that.

"He shows up now and again. Last time he was here, he tried to bury Ray and Henry alive before (y/n) punched him in the face," Charlotte went on, recalling that traumatic incident as Brad laughed.

"That was funny!" He cackled, remembering how terrified the pathetic heroes were when he outsmarted them and how hot his crush was when she got all feisty. Oh yeah, Henry remembered it too; the pain, the fear, the horrifying prospect of suffocating to death with a man who didn't care about his own life but the wellbeing of the woman he loved more than life itself. A few years had passed since then, and a lot had changed, but he recalled the terror perfectly.

"Yeah, it wasn't that funny, Brad. I could've died...but I guess it was pretty hilarious when (y/n) beat you up," he confessed, but his pale face quickly gained colour and a smirk when he thought about the woman twisting his arms into knots before spraying his face with bear spray. He wasn't so tough after that, no matter how much he tried to spin the story.

"I like a feisty girl, and my baby isn't afraid to get freaky..." Brad retorted, causing (y/n) to roll her eyes and brush off the comment since she'd heard more than lewd enough offensive comments in her time as Miss Danger, but Ray found his hair bristling again.

"I hate you so much..." he seethed, feeling his stomach drop, and his heart lurched at the insinuation, something Brad needed to get out of his perverted mind since that was knowledge for him and him only. Still, (y/n) swiftly eased his worries, reaching up to gently kiss away his worries - possibly irritating the shit out of Brad - which Ray greedily accepted, deepening the kiss and drowning in her sweet, honeyed taste to show off - just a little.

"Well, what are you doing here?" Schwoz questioned, glazing over how his boss was clearly "marking his territory" and how (y/n) was eagerly, literally lapping it up.

"I'm here to offer Ray, Henry and my baby a deal."

"I refuse," Ray replied instantly, his voice a little throaty from the mini make-out session, but his lips were coated in his favourite sweetness, so he didn't complain. Instead, his arms slid around (y/n)'s waist as he spat at the air, insistent that they throw Brad out on his ass for all the trouble he'd caused them—and the heartache, but Henry reached out to soothe his flaring temper.

"Just...relax. What kind of deal are you looking for, Brad?" He asked calmly because even though he hated Brad as much as everyone else, he knew the rational thing was to at least hear him out before the kicking out on his ass bit.

"You guys need to do a magic trick to get in The Magician's Lounge, right?" Brad started, and no one could argue with him.

"Yeah, so what?" (y/n) shrugged, resting her head against Ray's chest, so she could hear his soothing heartbeat and piss the unseeable man a little more. She wanted him to see how perfectly she fit into his arms, how content his embrace made her feel, and how nothing he did or said could change her mind about that.

"Well...ooooohhhh, maaaaaagic!" The couple felt a breeze pass their bodies, and suddenly, Henry's red cups began dancing in the air. Everyone jumped at the sudden movement, not knowing when or where Brad would move, which put Ray closer to the edge, but oddly, the creep's idea was terrific. As long as he kept his mouth shut, no one would know any different - it looked like real magic.

"That's a pretty good trick, dude," Henry whispered to his stubborn boss, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news, but even Ray, with his prejudices, couldn't ignore the solution Brad offered. They hated to admit it, but the man was being practical for once, and when (y/n) looked up at him with worried yet understanding eyes, the hero knew what he had to do.

"All right, Brad. You're coming with us to The Magic Palace."

"Not so fast!" Brad interjected, and apparently, he'd moved again as the computer chair spun to face the baffled group, who wanted to know how he could move so stealthily without so much as a sound or rustling breeze. "If I help you, I want to become visible again."

"How are we supposed to do that, Brad?" (y/n) asked belligerently, folding her arms and leaning back into her doofus as she glared in the chair's vicinity. It was a big favour, and she wasn't sure how they'd pull it off and what he'd do if they couldn't work out how to do it, especially since Brad had been invisible for so long. Was he even suitable for visible life anymore?

"Baby, you and I both know your precious doofus is dumb, but the little science guy, whose shower I've been sleeping in..." Brad said coyly, causing Schwoz's shoulders to drop at the horrifying news that he'd had a voyeur in one of the only private places he had in the Man Cave. (y/n) had been there and lived through that - one of Brad's most disgusting practices - and he wasn't inspiring her to aid in his efforts to regain his visibility, not when she knew how violated she felt all those years ago.

"What?!"

"You can do pretty much anything, so I figure you can turn me visible again," the invisible man explained, causing everyone to think for a moment. It was true; that man was unbelievably intelligent and resourceful, especially with his weird gimmicks, so if anyone could work it out, it was him. The only issue was, would he be willing?

"I think I can..." Schwoz pondered, the cogs turning into his mind as he debated ethics, morality and legislation before throwing them out the window. As if he'd ever care about them when he could push himself to be better, although he'd need a few tests first. "I'll need something to practice on. Fifteen cats should do it."

"C'mon, Schwoz, where are we supposed to find fifteen cats?"

"Yeah, and what did those cats ever do to you?" Charlotte and (y/n) argued as he delved deeper into making his mental plans, but experimenting on that many poor kitties seemed impossible and cruel to them.

"Well, I can get you fifteen cats. There's a sad grandma on our street who has fifty of them," Piper butted in, shrugging at the thought of the weird pensioner near her house. She barely knew what day it was, so she doubted that she'd miss a few pets here and there, especially if they were going on to do...better things.

"Great!"

"Time to go pretend I like old people," the girl nodded confidently before downing the last swig of her coffee, eager to get into the elderly's home, grab the cats and get out. Anything for Schwoz, so she marched off toward the elevator, much to Ray's irritation since she was helping his smug enemy.

"So, do we have a deal?" He asked slowly, no doubt looking from Henry to (y/n) and to Ray because he had the last say. He was the boss, so everyone expected him to make the call, but it was hard. All eyes were on him, but all Ray could do was look down at his pretty girl as she waited for his decision, not knowing that a war was waging in his mind. He'd never side with Brad willingly since it felt like a betrayal after all he'd put her through, but there was no other way.

"...Deal," he muttered, his gaze cast downward since he couldn't look his fiancée in the eye now he'd agreed to help that asshole. (y/n) didn't hate him, though - how could she? She knew there was no way to retrieve the declaration; his hands were tied, so she pecked his cheek to brighten his mood, squeezing his hand as Brad jumped to his invisible feet in celebration.

"Yes! You visibles just made a wise choice..." he crooned, making Ray tighten his arms around (y/n)'s waist. Just the sound of his voice put him on edge, but knowing they'd have to drag him along on a mission made it even worse. How would he survive when he'd do nothing but flirt with his sweet girl? She was his and was more than happy to remind him about that.

"Don't look so grumpy, doofus," she giggled at his stormy face, turning her back on Brad and looping her arms around his neck as his hands slid up and down her back - another show of his territory. "Come on. I've got three great ideas for magician disguises."

"I love you, sweet girl," the hero grinned as she distracted him from the now-sulking asshole behind them, kissing his lips slowly after the words fell from his lips. Their friends rolled their eyes at the touchy display - slightly touchier than usual for obvious reasons - knowing Ray was the big, protective doofus he usually was, times ten, but it was sweet. He cared, and seeing (y/n) so happy and content made it extra special, even if it looked like he was eating her face.

"I love you too, doof," she whispered after they pulled away, and she took his hand in hers, dragging him out to the room behind the tube pads - where they stored various costumes. Henry rolled his eyes and shared a knowing look with Charlotte, aware that he had to follow the lovebirds into a quiet, secluded spot. Was that wise?

Probably not, but he had no choice when Ray glanced over his shoulder and called for him to follow, so he did, tailing the couple as they half-walked, half-hugged their way across the room, unbothered when the elevator opened, and Jasper tumbled out.

"Hey, guys! I learned a great magic trick!" The boy explained as he raced into the main room, looking bizarre in some Dynamo-like straight jacket. He tried to be like Houdini, swallowing a key before attempting to unlock the jacket without it, but it hadn't worked out so well, given that they no longer needed two-bit tragic acts.

"Don't need it!"

"Already got a trick," Ray and Henry deadpanned, quickly disappearing behind the tubes so they could begin mismatching outfits and sneaking kisses here and there, which left Jasper to wriggle in the padlocked jacket and having no arms to balance his body was getting tricky.

"But I put on this straight jacket and swallowed the key!" He whined, wondering how he would get himself free now, but he didn't know there was a fourth person in the room who had a bit of scaring people for fun.

"So, what's the trick?" Brad asked out of nowhere, spooking the shit out of the poor boy, who'd never heard of the invisible man before since the burying alive incident was before his time. In a panic, he hit the deck, flopping like a fish in his straight jack since it was the only thing he could think of - playing dead.

Charlotte and Schwoz rolled their eyes as Brad laughed and taunted the kid, who froze on the floor like a dead rodent to try and appear harmless. God, his laugh was annoying, and as they got to work sourcing everything the genius would need for his visibility-inducing machine, they could only think of one thing.

The sooner he went, the better.

~The Magic Palace~

"You look gorgeous, by the way," Ray said immediately as he and his sweet girl confidently reentered the hub for all magicians and mystics in Swellview. He held the door open for her like a true gentleman, making her blush when he patted her butt as she brushed past - simply because he loved the costume she'd found in the back of their disguise wardrobe.

His was weird, admittedly, but he owned it. He wore a deep red, glittery suit embellished with gold thread and jewels as if he was some Wizard Elvis reject with the deep, plunging V-neckline, which (y/n) secretly loved since it gave her a peek of his exposed chest. Between the cleft of his thirst-inducing pecs, he hung a crystal necklace, the jewel so big that its weight made the chain rub against his neck, but he didn't let it show.

He wanted to be tough in front of his sweet girl, but honestly, as much as she loved drooling over his chiselled chest, she couldn't take his blond, long-haired wig seriously. She'd said it before and repeated it; he didn't suit being blond, but it was a good disguise. Hopefully, enough to fool Tatiana - if his wandering hands didn't give her a clue.

"Thanks, doofus. Maybe I'll let you take it off if we have time before our date tonight," (y/n) flirted back as she twirled in her equally bold and glittery costume, loving how it made her look like a proper spell-caster. It was an early design of her current Miss Danger uniform, one that had been deemed too flamboyant and impractical for a sidekick, so she'd tucked it away - out of sight and out of mind until now.

"Oh, we'll have time. I'll make damn sure of that, darlin'," he growled, pulling her silk-clad hips closer to his body as she giggled and pecked his nose, her left hand sliding down his exposed clavicle so that he could feel her engagement ring against his skin. It was a tempting offer, and Ray couldn't hold his excitement at mentioning their evening date, but they had a job to do, not to say the prying company.

"Later, Raymond. We're not alone, remember?" She muttered, gesturing over her shoulder, making Ray's face darken. Brad was supposedly following behind them, ready to do the magic trick when they told him to, but it was impossible to keep track of him. He was invisible, for god's sake, meaning Ray couldn't tell when he was lurking or not. Every kiss felt awkward because of it, and he couldn't wait for that moron to leave his life forever.

"Ughhhhhh! You still with us, Brad?"

"Brad?" They called out, feeling the air when he didn't respond immediately, but air blew past the back of their necks, and (y/n) swore she felt a hand brush down her cheek, although not as tenderly as her true love would have done it.

"Right here, baby..." Brad cooed as she slapped him away and took shelter against Ray's chest as his arms wound around her and jabbed at him too. He scowled and growled at thin air, instantly becoming protective again when his precious girl rubbed her nose against his neck, grumbling that the creep laid a finger on her. It made his blood boil when coupled with the irritating nickname, but he knew they needed his help.

"God, I hate you so much!" He snapped, his frustration boiling over at not being able to do anything, and it took a lot of soothing words and a passionate kiss from (y/n) to stop him from finding and killing the unseeable man. Ray was more than happy to show Brad who got to love and be loved by her, taking a moment to groan in the back of his throat when she went to pull his hair, only to trail her fingers down his chest when the wig got in the way.

That's when Henry arrived, already moody from the appalling outfit he was forced to wear, so seeing them eating each other again only made his lousy mood worse.

"Put (y/n) down before she suffocates. And I'm not loving the disguise, Ray," he complained as he walked up to them, causing the couple to pull away and look at him with barely contained smiles. He looked like the long-lost fifth member of My Chemical Romance with his all-black leather outfit, complete with a gothic, open-neck coat, dark jewellery, eyeliner and a black emo wig. He hated it, thinking he looked weird, but that was the beauty of it. No one would know who he was under all that angst.

"Don't use our names. We're undercover!" (y/n) hissed, glancing around to see if anyone was eavesdropping, but luckily, it was just them and Brad. They'd come up with some perfect magician names on the drive over, knowing their real names were too dull.

"I'm The Amazing Ray..." Ray revealed in a nasally voice as if changing it made him more magical. It wasn't too secretive, barely masking his identity, but he had the charisma to play it off.

"And I'm The Mystical Phalange!" (y/n) grinned, waving her hands like a rainbow as she giggled about how funny it was. All her alter-egos used that name, but this was one of her favourites because it fit so well. Ray chuckled at her cuteness, draping an arm across her shoulders and pulling her in to kiss her temple, much to Henry's muted reaction.

"Oh, they're great. Okay, so what's my name?" He asked, hoping for something as colourful as theirs, but Ray only had so much brain power.

"I got a great one for you. Wait 'til you hear it."

"Why don't you just tell me now, though?—" Henry tried to get him to say it, desperate to know what his magical name was, but his boss was too impatient. Leaving him in suspense, Ray took (y/n)'s hand and strode through the door, entering the fancy room with his usual swagger and self-importance, where the mysterious woman was bursting a balloon.

"Tatiana! I am The Amazing Ray!" He announced as he approached her, not bothered that he'd interrupted her magic since this was more important. "And these are my assistants—The Mystical Phalange and...Trick Boy!"

"Nope," Henry deadpanned, instantly moving to leave and turning his nose up at the name, mainly because it was shit. How come they got Amazing, Mystical and whatever else whilst he was so plain and boring? It didn't seem fair, but there wasn't much he could do now that it'd been said.

"Easy there, Trick Boy..." (y/n) called after him, bringing him back since they were in it together—all of them looking and sounding ridiculous as she smiled sweetly at Tatiana and carried on. "We're real magicians, and we'd like to enter The Magician's Lounge."

"Just need to see a trick first," she said, proving that the rules applied to everyone, even the magicians she'd never seen or heard of. Her playful eyes seemed to know more than they let on, analysing the man and woman standing before her and finding some peculiar similarities. That was a beautiful engagement ring she wore...

"Yes! Yes! A trick indeed! What a beautiful podium you have! Have you ever wished it were a little bit...higher?" Ray asked in his strange, magician's voice and his sidekicks knew he was setting up an opportunity for Brad to fulfil his side of the bargain, but he could've chosen something a little easier.

"Uh, no," Tatiana replied flatly, thinking her ornate podium was at the perfect height already, but that didn't deter the man.

"Well, wish no more! Magic!" Ray declared, despite Henry's mutterings, that he should quit it. He slowly elevated his arm, gesturing that he went to the podium to rise too, but there was a slight problem. Brad tried his best to make the podium shift; he grunted, growled and strained, but nothing worked, so all he could manage was lifting the corner a bit, making the wooden block jiggle a bit.

"It's...too...heavy!"

"What?!" Tatiana gasped, hearing the unknown voice and wondering what was going on because even with her trickery, invisible men were a little far-fetched. She jolted away from her podium, eyes scanning the air as Brad gave up and left the heroes to explain.

"I said it was too heavy...for your magic. I guess your magic is a little out of shape," Henry quickly said, nudging Ray in the ribs as he watched the pathetic show, much to the man's annoyance since it wasn't his fault that Brad's muscles were useless. He could lift that podium without a problem, especially with the beauty next to him watching.

"Shut your mouth, Trick Boy!"

"Uh, okay... Why don't I levitate a book?" (y/n) suggested, wriggling her fingers as she focused on the bookshelf, full of light, easy, manageable books that shouldn't have been too difficult for Brad to handle. Simple yet effective, and if they listened carefully, they could hear the man pad over, ready to impress. Sort of.

"Paperback..."

"Seriously, dude? Whatever—here, look! I'm levitating a paperback, lightweight book!" She muttered in disbelief at how pathetic his strength was, but she played it off well and kept flexing her hands as he plucked one of the lightest books from the shelf - practically a pamphlet.

"There it is."

"She's magicking..." Ray and Henry said as Brad plucked the book from the shelf, giving the impression that the heroine had supernaturally made it float and wave around in the air. A few seconds later, the book returned to the shelf, its hidden picker-upper too tired to go on after such strenuous activity. Still, he'd done enough, and to their relief, Tatiana turned to them with a rare astonished expression.

"Nice trick!" She remarked sincerely, having not seen a trick of that calibre for some time.

"Thank you!" (y/n) beamed, her cheeks turning pink at the woman's attention—and what Ray gave her as he smirked proudly and kissed her temple, eager to show off that the hot woman of the moment was his fiancée. Brad got under his skin and wanted nothing more than to stick to his sweet girl and stay there, meaning Tatiana quickly saw his adoration.

"I guess that's why your fiancé is smiling like an idiot. Your magic is awesome!"

"Oh, um, yeah...I guess," the heroine replied shyly, staring at her heeled, black boots as Ray beamed with pride and encouraged her to accept the praise, even if it was based on a lie. His heart thumped loudly in his ears when he saw how she cutely fidgeted with her flouncy skirt and acted all timid with her warm cheeks, so he didn't even care about the woman's mild insult. After all, she did turn him into a lovesick fool...

"Enjoy The Magician's Lounge..." Tatiana told them with a bright smile, gesturing extravagantly as the door opened on its own in a majestic sweep. They thanked her briefly, and trusting Brad to find his way home; they entered the mysterious room before it snapped shut on them.

The Magician's Lounge was everything they imagined and more. It was luxurious and comfortable, boasting a fully stocked bar with stained glass windows as a backdrop for the expensive liquors and spirits. A few marble-top tables in front of the bar seated a couple of magicians, who smiled and casually chatted with each other in the familiar settings of classical paintings and long, velvet drapes. The carpet was plush and soft under their feet, and the trio gasped at what they saw before remembering they were supposed to be mysterious, aloof con artists—magicians.

"Greetings, fellow practitioners of the magical arts!" Ray shouted as he, Henry and (y/n) waltzed into the room, thinking that's how all magicians acted, but at the sound of his bellowing voice, the few relaxing in the lounge looked at the man in confusion.

"Hey..." one replied with a blank expression, scanning the new faces in the room and wondering why the leader was so dramatic. They were meek people, quietly confident in their abilities if a little boastful; shouting was uncouth.

"I am The Amazing Ray!"

"Uh, yeah, and I'm The Mystical Phalange," (y/n) smiled politely at the man in the natty suit, offering her freshly manicured hand for him to shake as she brushed over her doofus' bizarre behaviour because even though she'd only known him for two seconds, she got the sense that this guy was more of a thinker than a shouter.

"Alan," he replied, graciously shaking her hand equally pleasantly before moving on to her lover, who assumed his name was a bit spicier than just Alan. That was too boring.

"Alan the...?"

"Just Alan. I know, worst stage name in the world, right?" Alan laughed, glancing at the lady he'd been chatting to moments before as his new associates politely smiled and said it wasn't so bad. Of course, it was, but they were trying to make small talk until they thought about introducing Henry to fill an awkward gap in the conversation.

"Well, this is my other assistant, Trick Boy."

"Hah! Okay, maybe the second worst," Alan joked, pulling a giggle from (y/n) and a frown from Henry since he'd been lumbered with the terrible name, and now, he was getting bullied. It was all good fun, but that didn't stop him from death-glaring at the couple as they laughed, even if his sour smile said otherwise.

"Oh man, sick burn, Alan!" Ray exclaimed nasally, his thumb rubbing (y/n)'s hipbone as they laughed, and because he was satisfied with that reaction, the friendly magician decided to impress them a little more.

"You know what Trick Boy needs for that sick burn?" He asked, making Henry growl as he kept calling him that, but then, he reached behind the kid's ear and pulled out a surprising item in a classic but evoking trick.

"Oh, burn cream!"

"For the sick burn!" Henry nodded moodily as Ray rubbed it in, chuckling and reminding him that he was a laughing stock with the worst name ever, and he kept going until he'd had enough. He didn't snap at his boss very often, but he did when he wouldn't shut up, and he didn't care if he went off, grumbling to his sweet girl to kiss it all better.

"Alan..." the boy said calmly, taking a deep breath and moving past the humiliating moment whilst (y/n) cupped Ray's face and pressed her lips to his. "We heard that a fellow magician stole The Swellview Declaration of Independence.

"Kid, you can't just come out and ask like that. It's rude! You got to establish trust, build up a rapport..." she gasped, pulling away from Ray like she'd kissed the wrong man when she heard him ask the burning question without any build-up. Talk about exposing them straight away; had he learned nothing from so many years of duping crooks?

"Oh, yeah, Stu's got it. He's right over there." However, for once, Henry got off lucky, and the heroes looked at him with wide eyes as he pointed to the thief without any issues. That was surprisingly easy, probably because the culprit wasn't shy about confessing his crime, holding it for all to see as he bragged about his exploits.

"I stole The Swellview Declaration of Independence! Just walked into the museum, took it, and left!" "Stu," said to Mysterio, the magician from earlier, as they beheld the magnificent document, not knowing Captain Man, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger were slowly inching towards them and listening to every word.

"Did you do the pigeon exit?" Mysterio asked, and the final piece of the puzzle fell into place. The idiot didn't even try to hide it - that's how cocky he was.

"Heck yeah, I did the pigeon exit! I'm Stu. That's my thing!"

"I love stealing things!" His friend squealed, squirming like an excited child as he heard the thrilling tale, and by the sounds of things, all magicians were secretly thieves. They took advantage of their skills to pinch something and didn't even care; if anything, they lived for it and had become quite bold too.

"Right? It's so easy when you're a magician."

"It's why I became one. To steal." That was all Ray needed to hear, so he nudged his sidekicks and nodded at the lowlifes, who'd not noticed their presence since they were too taken with the declaration. So, they strolled up to the men, ready to take them down since it was three against two—or three against one, as Mysterio didn't look like much of a fighter.

"Hey, Stu! I'm The Amazing Ray, and I became a magician so that I could go undercover and arrest thieves," the hero growled, losing all subtly as he towered over the smaller man with his sidekicks flanking him. Captain Man alone was an intimidating sight, but as a squad, any criminal would think twice, but not Stu. He scoffed silently at the sight of them, wondering who let the weirdos in.

"And I'm The Mystical Phalange. I came here to rearrange your stupid, stealing face."

"I also did that to do that..." Henry nodded as he pulled a pair of handcuffs from his pocket, hoping the thief would go down quietly, but he knew better. They always went out shouting and kicking, or in this guy's case, with magical trickery at every corner.

"Tell him your name, though..." Ray instructed him as everyone cleared the room, having more sense than the new guys to pick a fight with one of the most powerful wizards in Swellview. As (y/n) watched the stampeding crowd, wondering why they fled so rapidly, her doofus stared down his younger sidekick, thinking he'd worked damn hard to think of that name. It was such a shame to see it go unused.

"I don't want to say my name," Henry replied, biting his lip to stay silent as he disregarded the manic rush behind him.

"I don't wanna say my name."

"Just say it!" The kid's stubbornness predictably caused an argument between the boys, making (y/n) hang her head in shame as the all-mighty magician frowned at their bumbling display. If anything, he laughed at them, believing them to be three morons daring to challenge him, so in the end, she had to butt in. She'd rip her face off in frustration if she didn't.

"I don't wanna say it!"

"Oh, for God's sake! Trick Boy! His name is Trick Boy!" The heroine stressed, thumping her doofus on the arm to get him to be quiet, although he wanted to say something to Henry when he glared at her for saying his stupid name. He never got that far, though; one, (y/n) would never let him, and two, Stu looked at his feet and smirked, straightening his sleeves and appearing suspiciously smug.

"Well, Trick Boy. How are you going to handcuff me...when the cuffs are already on you?" He queried, confidently meeting Henry's eyes before the kid frowned and looked down. He'd learned one thing about magicians; they all spoke in riddles.

"I'm terribly sorry. I'm not following—what?! Okay!" He muttered and then gasped when he glanced down to see the handcuffs locked around his wrists. Ray and (y/n) looked at him, gobsmacked that Stu had somehow managed it without moving or blinking, but even though they clapped for him, they weren't playing around. His tricks were only so impressive and highly dangerous when he was the detainee.

"Thanks...appreciate that."

"Yeah, but for real, though..."

"Yeah, the show's over, Stu. You're coming with us," the couple growled as their smiles fell, ceasing their applause as they pressed the man to come quietly. The sooner he gave up, the more shortly (y/n) could go home and decide what she was wearing later that night, but he didn't go quietly. Instead, he scoffed at their pretentious, tough guy/girl attitudes and side-eyed the bizarre man when he both threatened him and held the lady's hand. Talk about mixed signals.

"Am I?" The magician asked with a bored face, to which the heroes frowned since his noncompliance was peculiar.

"I just said you were..."

"I don't know why you wouldn't, given the situation..."

"You think you're hot stuff, don't y—oh, what is this? What are you doing to us, Stu? Come on!" (y/n) shared the boys' confusion, but then, in the blink of an eye, she knew what he meant. She went to snuggle into Ray's side, hoping to slide her hand under his jacket lapel and feel the soft skin of his chest, but she couldn't. Ray couldn't. Henry couldn't. All because Stu had tricked them again, magically materialising handcuffs around the couple's hands and chaining them to the boy, they were tugging and flossing the metal to no avail.

"That's really funny!" Henry retorted bitterly as Ray tried to snap the chains, but all he managed to do was nearly pull his sweet girl over. They were trapped in a tangled, silver mess of metal spaghetti, and he didn't miss the way Stu smiled to himself.

"Give us a second. Let's untangle these, okay?" Ray murmured as he turned to his sidekicks, hoping a brief sidebar would allow them to get free. If only it were that simple. On the count of three, he tried to orchestrate some complicated method involving Henry jumping through his crooked arm as (y/n) pressed herself against his body and then dipped under the kid's arm. Stu stood back and laughed as they nudged each other in the face and ended up smushing faces together—something Ray never wanted to do with his youngest sidekick.

"All right, you lift...and you jump, and I'll go under," Henry told the adults as they struggled because he thought they could take turns to get out - as if a six-foot giant could worm his way through the narrow gap under his armpit.

"Doofus—ow, my toe! Doo—Captain Man, you're never going to fit!" Miss Danger whined as he tried to shove through the gap, only for his broad shoulders to get stuck. His weight forced Henry to bend over, thus forcing (y/n) down as well, so they were a heap of crippled bodies, steadily becoming more and more stuck, even as Ray managed to fit through Henry's arms. As he passed through, he kicked his girl in the face, sending her to the floor and Henry as the chains wrapped around the man's legs to the soundtrack of the magician's evil cackling.

"Stop laughing at us!" Henry snapped at him as he and (y/n) managed to stand, but they could barely move now, too restricted by the handcuffs, which was when the heroine had a thought.

"Doof—-doofus, where's Brad?" She asked, tucked underneath his arm with his glittery jacket scratching her face like sandpaper as Henry loomed over their backs. Their spines ached, and their wrists were chafed, but it was a good thought. For all his creepiness and annoying personality, Brad was somewhere, and hopefully, he'd want to help out.

"Oh, yeah!" The hero exclaimed, making a split-second decision to momentarily forget his hatred of the guy and utilise his usefulness to get them out of trouble. Oh, how he couldn't wait to see Stu's face... "We've got a trick up our sleeves. Get him, Brad!"

Nothing happened. After calling out for the invisible man to help them, the trio waited for a projectile to be thrown at Stu's head, for him to be strangled, and for the cuffs to be unlocked, but nothing came - only silence and stillness.

"I said, get 'em, Brad!" Ray shouted, trying again in case he didn't hear him the first time, but it seemed that for the first time in forever, Brad wasn't around to ogle his sweet girl or make his life miserable. Or maybe he was ogling, and not replying was just another sadistic way to make him miserable by painting him as a loonie.

"Brad!"
"Brad!"
"Brad!" He and Henry shouted together, hoping to get through to him, but the guy was nowhere to be found—sitting in the next room, in fact, eating takeout. That definitely didn't freak out Tatiana, but they still tugged and jostled against their constraints, praying for an answer.

"Brad!"
"Brad!"

"Guys, he's not coming..." (y/n) sighed, grunting when Henry's elbow hit her nose, and the worst thing, Ray couldn't move his hands to comfort her or angle his body to kiss it better. Seriously, he was going to kill Brad one of these days.

"And for my next trick, I'm going to make the three of you go to sleep," Stu chuckled as he reached into his inner breast pocket, having grown tired of watching them struggle, as amusing as it was. He needed to deal with the troublemakers, so it was time for his most daring yet cunning trick.

"Well, we had a long night last night, but we're not particularly tired, right, darlin?"

"Nope...not a bit."

"I'm good. I just had a cup of warm milk on the way over, so—" Henry replied, rolling his eyes at the blatant saucy comment casually dropped by his boss, but strangely, it didn't make Stu gag like it would've done to anyone else. Instead, he glossed over it, pulling a small blowgun from his jacket as the kid spoke. After taking a deep breath, he blew into the gun sharply, releasing a cloud of light, sparkling dust over their faces that instantly made their eyes feel heavy. So very heavy...

"But I guess we could nap..."

"Mm-hmm, nap time sounds nice, doof...snuggles with doofus..." (y/n) smiled dopily as she stumbled into Ray's chest, feeling like the room was spinning until she met his pillow-like warmth. Suddenly, the overwhelming need to sleep overcame her, and nothing sounded better than having Ray's arms around her body as she tucked her head into his neck. All she would do was sleep for a little bit, not much, to rest her eyes now that Ray was taking them to the floor.

"Oh, what's in that thing?" Henry muttered as his knees gave in, too, his body floppy and jelly-like whilst his mind shut down. The last thing he felt was the dust flicker over his face, the last thing he heard was the magician laughing at how easy the whole thing was, and the last thing he saw was Ray pulling (y/n) onto his chest, mumbling something about sweet dreams. If only.

~

Time passed - no one knew for how long. The weighted sleep wore off eventually, and lucidity finally came trickling back, causing (y/n)'s eyes to flutter open as she shook off the effects of dust. Groaning, she took in the room through bleary eyes, wondering how long she'd been out for, where the kid was, whether he was okay, where Ray was, whether he was okay too, and what the hell was between her teeth.

"Mmat? Mwa mms gwoing mwon? Mway? Wenwmy?" She called out, only to realise there was a cloth gag between her teeth. Instinctively, she went to remove it, disliking how it restricted her airway and how it was tied too tight around her head, but then, there was another problem. Glancing down, she saw that her wrists were bound to her knees, paralysing her body and stopping any escape attempts since Stu was saving her and Ray for later.

"It's okay, Phalange. We're all right," henry said from her right, looking at the gagged woman with sympathetic eyes. She'd been tossed to the side like an unwanted piece of trash since Stu was worn out after dealing with him and Ray. Henry was lucky enough to be going first, whatever that meant, having been tied to a spinning wheel to await his fate, but his boss had the worse deal, even if the kid was up on offer.

"Weawwy? Mwis mosmn't muk mwall might..." she replied as best she could, feeling all the blood drain from her face as she took in her doofus. Unlike her, all the blood was draining to his face as he'd been hung upside down from the ceiling with his arms tied above—under?—his head, which seemed unnecessarily cruel, given how excruciatingly uncomfortable it must've been. He hadn't woken yet and was still dreaming about rubbing sunscreen onto his pretty wife's back as they relaxed under a Hawaiian sun, but as much as Henry hated to rain on his parade, they needed him to snap out of it.

"Hey, The Amazing Ray! Wake up!"

"Mwoomus! Mwoomus! Maywond! Mwake mup!" The sidekicks shouted together, some better than others, and it worked. Ray couldn't ignore the dulcet tones of his sweet girl, even if they were subdued, so he slowly woke up, slipping away from Hawaii and into Swellview again, where everything ached after spending God knows how long upside down.

"Ohhhh, mannnn... I had the best dream, but I have the worst headache," the man groaned at the pounding in his skull as his eyes cracked open. He wanted to return to his dream, but that was impossible with how much everything hurt.

"Ray! Ray, wake up!" Henry called out again, not wanting him to shut his eyes again, so he didn't, wondering what all the fuss was about, and that's when he saw. Everything was upside down, and being the doofus he was, he didn't think he was the problem. No, the world had gone wrong, especially since he didn't know where his precious girl was.

"Oh my god, Stu, the magician, turned the room upside down!" He exclaimed, ignoring his brain's conflicting sensations since he was half-awake and dizzy from the blood rushing to his head.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

"That's an amazing trick!" He complimented, and Stu was good but not that good.

"No, dude. No, he just hung you upside down!" Henry explained after (y/n) went to tell him, only to chew cloth instead. Suddenly, the room flipped for Ray, and everything made sense; now, he knew why his legs were burning and his head ached, Henry was remarkably calm despite being upside down, and gravity was all backwards.

"Oh. That's a lot less amazing..." he muttered, disappointment flooding his body at the news he was trussed up like a turkey, not to mention that his wig was getting loose—daring to fall off and expose his identity. He struggled against his bonds for a moment, thinking that if he could get his hands free, he could somehow get down, but it was useless when his mind drifted to other things.

"Wait...where's (y/—I mean, where's The Mystical Phalange?? Sweet girl, where are you?" Ray asked frantically because even though he was upside down, he could still see the room, and his fiancée wasn't in it. Tragically, she was just out of his peripheral vision, sitting on the floor, staring at his muscular back as it strained from his awkward position and trying to tell him it was okay. She was right there, tied up but unhurt, yet the gag stopped her from saying it.

"M'mine, moof! Mm mwerre! Moof!"

"Sweet girl, is that you?" Ray gasped at the strange, muffled noise behind him, but he couldn't be sure it was her. His heart didn't like this; she sounded distressed, and he wanted to reach out and comfort her wherever she was, but damn it, he couldn't.

"She's fine, Ray. She's just been gagged and tied up on the floor behind you," Henry quickly told him, fearful that the man would wiggle his way out of the ropes and fall on his head, which was the last thing they needed. Ray growled at the news, rage clouding his mind because Stu had treated her worse than an animal, and his sweet girl deserved to be treated like a queen. If she were hurt, there would be nowhere in the universe he could hide from him.

"What the f—?"

"Calm down, blondie. Your girl isn't hurt..." A voice called out from across the room, so the trio looked over to see the asshole of the moment. Stu stood there, smirking after hearing the tall one's desperate calls to who he assumed was his lover. So, he was one of those lovesick fools who threw his life away for one girl - how pathetic.

"I don't know how you three got into The Magician's Lounge, but let me show you what we do to fakers," his face turned serious as he pulled a card from his deck of cards. In a single, smooth move, he threw the card through the air like a danger, turning it into a deadly weapon as it blitzed past Ray and sank into the wheel next to Henry's head. An inch to the right would've been buried in the kid's forehead, making his heart race.

"Whoa!"

"What was that?" Ray questioned, seeing nothing but a blur as he couldn't move to see the wheel.

"They're called razor cards. You see...I'm kind of the...king around here," Stu remarked, showing them another card - the king of clubs - before he tossed it like the other. It soared past Ray, embedding itself into the patch near Henry's left ear, making the kid squeak and move away from it as he found himself caught between the lethal pieces of paper.

"And you two, not including the lady 'cause I can see she's...the queen of hearts," Stu smirked, much to Ray's irritation, as he pulled out the right card. Damn right she was, but only for him - his future wife.

"But you two are a couple of...jokers." He threw two of the card in unison, causing Henry to gulp when they split in the air and flanked his waist. The cards were getting lower and lower with each turn, but worst of all, Stu still had the queen of hearts in his hand. One last chance to hit the target...

"Dang it, Brad! Get in here and help us!" Ray shouted, not needing to see to know his sidekicks; therefore, he and his darling girl were in trouble. Regrettably, Brad was their only lifeline, but being the useless lump he was, he was still nowhere to be...seen.

"This next card is headed straight for your..."

"My ace?" Henry guessed, but he was a tad too self-assured. He put...that on too big a pedestal, making Stu frown at his assumption because it was icky, although his choice wasn't much better.

"No, your heart!" Stu replied with a frown, holding up the queen of hearts, and whilst the boy felt relief at knowing his...would be all right, he gulped at the gory alternative. "Goodbye forever, Trick Boy."

"That's not my name!" Henry shouted angrily, hating that the last words he could've heard formed that stupid name, but he was too busy preparing for the blow. (y/n)'s eyes widened, and she screamed into the gag as she tried to shift her way over to the kid, Ray too - anything to save one of their babies - but before the razor card found its mark, it stopped mid-air.

"Ow! Right in my shoulder!" An annoyingly familiar voice whined as it accompanied a squelching noise. Henry gasped, and the couple's eyes widened at the surprise entrance, knowing their saving grace had come in the form of Invisible Brad, and they never thought they'd admit it, but they were so happy to see—know he was there.

"Brad!"

"Finally!"

"Mmat mwook moo mo mwong?" Having been saved, Henry was happier to see him than Ray and (y/n). The man knew he'd try and flirt with his sweet girl, and (y/n) didn't want to be toyed with, but her glare didn't do much to phase Brad, who, unknown to everyone else, slunk over to the gorgeous woman, despite her muffled yet sharp tongue.

"Got distracted thinking of you, baby. But don't worry...I'm here now," he retorted in a smarmy tone, and the woman shivered with two sweaty fingers brushed down her cheekbone and hooked underneath the gag, pulling it down until it hung around her neck. Finally—she could breathe and talk usually, and she had a lot on her mind.

"Get off me, you creep! Oh my god, it feels so good to talk again! I have so much to say, like, hey, you! The Merlin wannabe! You leave my baby alone, or it'll take a very good surgeon three or four hours to retrieve your magic wand from up your as—!"

"What the...?" Stu gasped, baffled by the woman's sudden outburst and how things were moving independently. The card was floating in the air with the corner missing, and the gag slipped from her face as the knot had mysteriously loosened, so Henry took his chance since the magician was distracted.

"Get me down from here, Brad! And untie The Mystical Phalange!" Ray called out to him as Brad yanked the razor card from his shoulder. It might have been covered in invisible blood, but he had to untie his baby, which Ray both loved and hated, as relief flooded his body at hearing his sweet girl. His sweet girl and no one else's—he was glad to know she was safe and still as spirited as always.

In a smooth move, Brad threw the card at the rope, suspending Ray from the ceiling, leaving him to hit the floor as he turned to (y/n). She was more interesting than that idiot, but the moment he loosened the knot between her hands, the heroine tossed the gag and rope to the side so she could crawl to her doofus.

"Nice shot!" Henry complimented, a smile gracing his face when he saw the lovers reunite, (y/n) cupping Ray's face as he groaned from the rough landing, but it was worth it when she kissed his forehead and began working on his bound legs.

"I was aiming for Stu," Brad revealed, proving to be a worse shot than Ray, but he didn't care. He was too salty about (y/n) helping her lover to his knees and bringing him into a gentle kiss after too long apart.

"Who are you talking to?" The magician demanded to know, thoroughly confused as to where the mysterious voice was coming from, but as (y/n) helped Ray remove the ropes around his wrists, Brad turned his attention to him. He couldn't stand to watch his favourite girl canoodle that moron.

"He's talking to me!" He growled, smacking Stu across the face with every bit of his pathetic strength. Years of not having to care about his appearance had left Brad puny and weak since he'd skipped the gym every week for God knows how long, so he didn't cause much damage, but it caused sufficient confusion.

"Who just weakly slapped me? Quit it!"

"And a little bit of this..."

"This is more unnerving than it is painful, but I still want it to stop," Stu grumbled, trying to fight off the invisible man as he kept tapping his face, throwing it from side to side in what felt like a childish attack, given how pathetic every tap was. They were getting weaker and weaker with each passing second as Brad had as much stamina as he did strength - exactly nothing.

"Are you an invisible child?"

"You know what? I give up. Sorry, guys. I'm gassed," Brad panted, bent over and gasping for air, even though no one could see. The light exercise had taken it out of him, making his floppy legs and worn-out arm collapse onto a nearby chair, which then toppled on the floor.

"Wow, our hero..." (y/n) remarked flatly, knowing he was probably spread across the carpet like a starfish, chest heaving and skin sweaty. He may have freed them, but now, he was next to useless, so it was good that Ray was back on his feet and ready to fight again.

"Don't worry, Brad. I got this," the hero declared, locking eyes with Stu and charging toward him to punch him in his stupid mouth. He pulled his muscled arm back, aiming and swinging with learned experience, but before his knuckles could collide with the magician's face, he disappeared in a puff of smoke and sparks. It was an impressive trick, but nothing beat Ray's shocked face when he turned his head, hearing a cooing noise in his ear.

"Holy Houdini, he turned himself into a bird!" He gasped, staring at the pigeon on his shoulder with wide eyes. It didn't attempt to scratch out his eyes or flap off, not until he called it a draw. "You win this round, Stu. I miss him..."

"Uh, doofus, he's right over there. Trying to worm away," (y/n) pointed out, stepping across the room to put her arm through his and gesture to the sneaky magician, who'd used the distraction to hit the deck and try to crawl to the exit, but he wasn't very subtle.

"No, I'm not!" He replied frantically, crawling faster, kicking his legs harder, but everyone could see him, even Ray. Maybe he should've taken a leaf out of Brad's invisible book, or perhaps not, since the guy took it upon himself to save the day, which Ray moodily suspected to be a ploy to undermine him and win his sweet girl's affection. As if.

"I'll get him!"

"What?" Henry gasped when he felt a presence appear at his sidekick, his fear deepening when the wheel behind him started to rattle. A shiver ran down his spine as Stu got closer to him, and when the wheel moved again, he worked out Brad's plan - it would be so easy to splat the rat by just...pushing him over. "No, no, no, no, no!—"

"Ow!" Stu yelped as Henry buckled himself in for the ride as the wooden board flipped upside down. His eyes squeezed shut as he fell forward, unable to put out his hands and save himself since they were tied to the wheel, so he just had to take it, slamming onto Stu's body at full force.

"Yeah, ow!"

"Nice work, Brad," Ray gritted out, sliding an arm around his girl's waist; he hated complimenting the man, so it was his way of telling him not to get ahead of himself.

"So...gassed. Are you impressed...baby?"

"Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that, Brad," (y/n) retorted, huffing at the disgusting nickname as Ray growled, practically bearing his teeth in the man's general direction. He didn't do sharing, not with his sweet girl - what did he have to do to get in his thick skull?

"Nice work, Trick Boy," he said to Henry in a gravelly tone, his voice dropping an octave or two as he pulled (y/n) a centimetre closer. He was so busy kissing her forehand and nuzzling her sweetly scented hair that he didn't hear Henry's grumbles; neither did he care if he upset him. He hoped Brad was watching, especially when (y/n) giggled his name.

"That's not my—thanks..." the kid replied, giving up in the end because it was easy to join in if he couldn't beat him. Their work was done, anyway, so he'd be able to leave this persona behind once they delivered Stu to the cops. Besides, what was the point in trying to tell Ray anything? He couldn't see the man, but Henry would bet all the money in his piggy bank that he had his fingers raking through (y/n)'s hair, pushing it away from her face as he indulged in her lips and soft sighs.

Maybe Henry was magic - that's how he knew. Or perhaps he could hear Brad retching and mumbling about a lucky fool.

~The Man Cave~

"You don't suit being blond, doof," (y/n) giggled as she ruffled Ray's hair, glad to see his natural floof again once he removed the offending wig from his head. They'd left The Magic Palace and Stu for the police to sort out, so as they waited to drop down in the elevator into their home, they ditched the stupid disguises.

"No? Well, I love your disguise, darlin'. Suits you..." the man replied with a smirk, not even hiding how his eyes slid down her body to where the skirt hugged her hips and butt before flaring out. He wasn't subtle, making Henry gag, although he even had to admit that seeing Brad nearly drop the declaration was hilarious.

"Yeah, you said..." she returned the flushed look, eyes dropping to his lips before she moved in to catch his lips. He hummed appreciatively, daring to run his tongue against her bottom lip, eager to start their date night and everything he had planned.

"Ugh, gross..." Brad muttered as he readjusted his hold on the document, hoping to bolt out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened. Mercifully, they arrived quickly, the ding drawing the happy couple out of their love-filled haze, so they had to break it up to let Henry out before he needed a stomach pump.

"Mission accomplished, people!" Ray cheered as he strolled out of the elevator, but judging by the way (y/n) clung to his arm and tottered out after him, he was cheerful for another reason.

"Nice!"

"Way to go!" Charlotte and Schwoz complimented them as Brad laid The Swellview Declaration of Independence out on the couch, but unlike everyone else, he wasn't happy to see its return. He didn't care about some historical artefact, but he wanted to see the great Captain Man make good on his word; after all, he'd held up his side of the bargain.

"Mission not accomplished. You still have to turn me visible."

"We're still working on that. We're down to our last cat," Schwoz told him, having been working all afternoon with the girls, poking and prodding numerous cats to try and work out how they would do it. God, they'd gone through so much chicken and heard Jasper gagging so much to retch his key back up - it was a trying few hours.

"Huh? I thought you had fifteen of them," (y/n) frowned, wondering how they could've gone through so many of them so swiftly, but she hadn't been there, and she didn't know what it had been like.

"We did," Charlotte confirmed."

"What happened to the other fourteen?" Henry asked, dreading the answer since it sounded so ominous. Was he going to have to attend fourteen feline funerals? He pondered all the possibilities when suddenly, the ground above their heads began to shake, and a bellowing roar sounded on the streets of Swellview as if a monster was prowling the streets.

"What is that?"

"Is that a giant lion?" Ray questioned as he suspiciously eyed his helpers, who denied everything, seeing his precious girl trying to work it out. No doubt if they'd done something wrong, she'd march them off and order them to turn it right, but without investigating upstairs, there was no way of knowing that fourteen enormous cats were padding around the neighbourhood, targeting every fishmonger in the tri-block area.

"So, does this thing turn things visible or not?" Brad questioned, fiddling with the vast, blaster-like device Schwoz had created when they were gone. He pushed it one way and another, wondering if it would work as the genius tittered about how fragile it was, and Jasper kept trying to hack up his lost key.

"Only one way to find out!" Schwoz exclaimed with a scientist's enthusiasm, dashing to the trigger of his prototype and pointing it at a plate of steadily depleting chicken on the floor. (y/n) had wondered about that, but when he fired a blue beam at the plate, it all became clear. A frankly adorable cat materialised in front of the plate, nibbling whatever meat strips it could, causing the boys to grin at how it worked and the girls to squeal at the fluffy animal.

"It worked!"

"All right!" Everyone beamed at Schwoz whilst Piper went to pick up the kitty, taking it away from the chicken since it was Brad's turn to be zapped. She cradled the cat to her chest, smiling when Charlotte and (y/n) crowded around her to tickle it under its chin.

"Now, point that thing at my beautiful face and make me visible again," he instructed Schwoz, hopping over to where the chicken was as Ray pouted at his lover. He didn't like losing out to that animal, but he soon cheered when she tickled his chin instead, giggling at how jelly he got around Brad.

"Okay, get in position."

"Get this chicken out of my way!" He grunted, sliding the meat away with his foot, meaning the cat leapt out of Piper's arms and chased after it. The girl grumbled, wanting more kitty cuddles since (y/n) had Ray to hug, but her floofus had run off.

"Soon...I will be known as Visible Brad, and (y/n) will know what she's been missing all these years.

"Or just Brad."

"No one calls me Visible Ray. And she's been missing nothing! Back off, Brad! She's mine!" Ray bit back, curling his arms around (y/n)'s waist and holding her tight before Henry patted his shoulder to get him to calm down. The woman sighed against his neck and pecked his bare skin, ready to get everything over with and kick the guy out of her home.

"Ugh, whatever! Just turn it on!" Brad groaned, fed up with seeing his baby love the man. What did she see in him? Why did he deserve her? He'd made her wait so long, left her alone for so many years, and been with every other woman before her, so he didn't see why Ray should get a chance. Undoubtedly, he'd wasted it.

"Okay!" Schwoz nodded, doing a brief countdown before he thumbed the trigger and changed Brad's life forever. The ice blue beam shot across the floor, hitting its target in the middle of the room, revealing a man who'd not been seen for a decade, and with good reason. Disgusted groans echoed around the room as they set eyes on Brad for the first time, revealing him to be...hideous.

His hair was overgrown, with the split ends brushing past his shoulders and framing his unwashed face. In all the years he'd been invisible, he'd never thought to touch his turn, turning them yellow; neither had he thought to workout out, meaning his stomach was round, large and flaky beneath his egg-stained vest.

Not bothering to wash meant his arms were covered in dirt, weak and squishy, and the room filled with a pungent stench, possibly from his equally filthy shorts or dirty, cheesy feet. He was a mess and standing there like he was the hottest catch of the season.

"Somebody get me a mirror," He ordered, flashing (y/n) a grimy smile, which made her shudder and snuggled into ray's side, terrified that snarl would give her nightmares. She didn't even care if he flirted; there was no way she'd fall for him, not when he looked like that, and her doofus was so jaw-droppingly handsome.

"I want to see myself for the first time in fifteen years! I can see you drooling over there, baby..."

"I'd look at yourself before you make wild accusations, Brad," she said nervously, gulping when Schwoz wheeled a mirror in front of Brad. He positioned it in front of the filthy man, who grinned at his reflection until he realised the truth - he was hideous.

"Ah! What happened to me?!" He exclaimed in horror, studying his grotesque appearance, from his bird's nest hair to his comfy yet slobbish sandals.

"Well, it looks like you maybe haven't brushed your teeth in fifteen years," Ray said, trying not to gag at the smell radiating from him, but there was a hint of smugness in his voice. Brad used to be a good-looking guy, so he'd been ever-so-slightly concerned about the guy about to appear in front of his girl's eyes, but now, he wasn't worried at all.

Not to be bigheaded, but he was hot—even hotter when put next to that slob.

"Or your hair."
"Or exercised."
"Or changed your clothes."
"Or showered." Everyone else added, resisting pinching their noses, but Brad didn't seem to be bothered. He'd gone nose-blind after years of smelling himself, although he'd always wondered why people groaned whenever he snuck into a room.

"Well, why would I? I've been invisible," he told them, which didn't help his case since he indeed could've showered occasionally "(y/n), baby. Come on. You got to give me a chance."

"Sorry, Brad, but I have a previous engagement, and I know he showers. Sometimes, I even go in with him just to make sure..." (y/n) smirked in response, resting her ringed hand on Ray's chest and, for the first time, she could see how the visible guy's face fell. As the kids swapped sour expressions at her hidden meaning, he frowned, thinking it was unfair just because Ray had great hair, teeth, fashion, body, and personal hygiene. Why did he get the most incredible girl too?

"...I'm hideous! And heartbroken!" he cried, his gaze leaving (y/n) because he could no longer stand to look at her without crying, so he stared at his rough reflection, wondering where it had all gone wrong. All he wanted to do was run and hide, but unfortunately, people could see him now, so hiding was pretty tricky.

"If anybody needs me, I'll be crying in Schwoz's shower!"

"Uh, no, that's a private area—" Schwoz called after the man as he walked away, but Brad ignored him, wanting to shed a few tears where no one could notice. No one else stopped him, hoping his smell would follow him, but they didn't get a chance to breathe when the emergency alarm started blaring.

"Emergency call," Charlotte noted.

"Oh, let me get it, doof!" (y/n) smiled when her lover went to fetch the fancy mobile phone. He grinned at her cute reaction, unable to say no, when she gently took the device from his hands and pressed it to her ear. They stood apart from the rest of the group, wrapped up in each other as she answered, telling him to stop saying such naughty stuff when she was on the phone.

"Captain Man and Co emergency line. Miss Danger speaking, how may we kick your conundrum?" She asked in her politest voice, causing Ray's arms to tighten around her as he growled. Now that was the perfect line, proving her to be his perfect girl.

"...What's that? Giant cats, you say?" However, the cheeriness didn't last long as some poor, frantic soul on the other end started shouting about how Armageddon had come, only it wanted to chase laser pens and eat mice.

"Fourteen of them, say you? Well, isn't that strange..." Her gaze turned frosty as it landed on three very sheepish helpers across the room, who didn't want to look her or Ray in the eyes as they snuck off since the story was obvious. Busted.

"Yes, yes. We're on it. Don't worry. We'll be there soon. Okay...okay, yes...bye," she said sweetly—reassuringly—before hanging up, sighing at the thought of going out again when it was getting dangerously close to her date night. But, of course, something just had to go wrong before they got to enjoy themselves.

"Well, there goes date night—Curly, what are you doing?" She sighed and then frowned, interrupted by Jasper weirdly coughing his guts up but much more than he had been all day. As she, Henry and Ray stood in a line, preparing to blow their gum, he threw his head back and started retching, retching and retching, getting faster and faster until a key flew out of his mouth and landed on the floor in a blob of funky saliva.

"Oo-hoo! Guys, look! I did it! I hacked up the straightjacket key!" He squealed with joy, but his face dropped when he took a closer look, "oh, wait. That's my house key. Weird. I swallowed that when I was eight."

"I cannot wait to get you alone, darlin'," Ray grumbled as he knocked back his gumball, ignoring Jasper and all his weirdness. Of course, he ate keys as a child - why not?

It was just another fun fact that made up his life, and as proud as he was to be Captain Man, he'd instead let the cats use Swellview's skyscrapers as scratching posts than go out and save the city from them. He just wanted to escape on his date night, treat his sweet girl like a princess and watch her face light up.

However, the look on her face when he surprised her would be worth all the hassle; even after twelve years together, he still had the power to take her breath away with nothing more than a simple gesture.

~

*Heyyyyyyy. End of chapter bonus smut. AND IT STARTS HERE. THAT IS SMUT STARTS HERE WEE-WOO WEE-WOO. NOW, MY CHILDREN, WILL YOU ACCOMPANY ME...TO THE OPERA???!!*

"I can't believe you did this."

(y/n) marvelled as she walked arm-in-arm with Ray, feeling like a celebrity or goddess as they walked through the parted crowd in the foyer.

When Ray said they were going to the opera, she thought he was joking, yet here they were, heading toward their private box on the upper balcony. It had come out of nowhere; one minute, they were moaning and groaning from the post-mission exhaustion, and the next, he was presenting two tickets to the Swellview Operatic Society's rendition of The Barber of Seville to her gobsmacked face.

Oh, yes. Ray did that. He took romance and ran with it, secretly ordering the tickets in the middle of the day, but not the cheap, basic seats. No, he wanted his sweet girl to have the best view in the house, so he splashed a few hundred on one of the royal boxes for the opening night, not even thinking twice when he hit the confirmation button.

Nothing but the best for his fiancée, so before she fainted from excitement, he told her to dig out her best ball gown - only the fanciest outfits were acceptable for the premiere - and she agreed...if he wore his sexiest tux.

"It's date night, darlin'. Can't a man treat his favourite girl once in a while?" He replied, throwing her his winning smile as they dodged socialites, businessmen, the goddamn mayor, and every other famous person from the city.

They were all there tonight, boasting about who had the best car, the biggest house or the hottest trophy wife, but Ray couldn't give a shit if the Mercedes looked beautiful by the pool. He'd put on his best suit for this - had made Schwoz iron it to perfection - and every woman in the room wanted him, but he only had eyes for one.

"He can, just not when it costs this much, doofus. You know I love just having dinner or seeing a movie with you. I don't need spoiling, Ray," (y/n) scolded him gently, although she wasn't too angry since she felt like true royalty on his arm.

They ascended a gentle staircase lined with a plush, scarlet carpet as they headed to their box, which she knew must've cost him a small fortune. She wasn't ungrateful by any means, but the walls were gilded with gold leaf, the ceiling was painted with a masterpiece, and the stewards wore tailed coats and white gloves. She wasn't used to such luxury but was highly aware of the cost.

"I know, but I want to spoil you, sweet girl. If I can't give you the world, then I'll just have to give you everything else," he replied, brushing off the mention of the tickets' price like it was nothing. And it was.

He didn't care if he'd missed out on things he wanted because life was too short to go to the same restaurant every time or watch the same-old superhero films. Treating her was his privilege, and nothing made him prouder than leading her up the staircase when she wore that dress.

Midnight blue silk trailed behind her, a striking difference from the ruby carpet, as they were directed to their private seats. It swished around her figure, her heels making her gorgeous legs seem longer when he caught a glimpse of them through the teasing thigh-high split, and if that didn't make his core burn, then the plunging neckline finished him off.

"You look beautiful. The most beautiful woman here, sweet girl," he growled into her ear as they passed couple after couple, but none of the ladies came close to her beauty. He saw how the men leered at her, asking in whispers if she was the model from that overly sexy perfume commercial, but no.

She was just a sweet girl from the suburbs, and she was all his. Only he was supposed to behave at the opera, so he couldn't kiss her like he wanted to; otherwise, the high-society snobs would look down on him.

"Well, I suppose it is my favourite opera, and I've always wanted to wear this dress somewhere--"

"Well, Captain Man once came to my garden soirée and complimented my begonias. He said my olive and mushroom crudités were the best he'd ever eaten!" A shrill voice came from their left, causing the couple to glance over and see a group of social-climbing vultures standing near a wine bar.

The posh woman frowned when she heard their giggles, wondering what tickled their fancy until she put them down as classless degenerates. She could show her friends that her life in the big mansion was perfect by dropping the odd French word now and again, mentioning her wealth and placing a pale, veiny hand on her husband's arm.

They didn't need to know about the affairs, the loveless marriage or her husband's backhanded business deals. It was all about keeping up appearances - a drama outside the opera.

"I remember that woman. Her flowers were lovely, but her food was terrible--tasted like I was eating an old boot," Ray muttered in his girl's ear, letting his hot breath roll down her neck before pulling away. No one said he couldn't have some fun here.

"Well, you must've been her guest of honour. She won't stop boasting!" (y/n) chuckled, finding it hilarious how the old-money folks would bend over backwards to outdo each other, forgoing the charm and elegance of their class simply to be the best. What a tragic life...

"I had one glass of champagne, and she thinks we're best friends."

"Well, Miss Danger shook my hand once after saving me from a ruffian in some godforsaken slum. Honestly, I regret the day I stepped foot in that place, but the newspaper photos of my donation to the school were sublime!"

"You're not the only one, doof," she muttered as the last lines of the faint conversation made it to them, and (y/n) found herself glad to be entering their box. Otherwise, she might have returned to give that woman a good hiding.

It wasn't nice to feel used, primarily when all those rich shmucks used their good natures to out-gladhand each other, but when the steward opened the ornate door for them, she let it go. This was supposed to be a special occasion, and unlike those trophy wives, she might not get the chance again.

"Would madam like to sit down?" Ray said in an overly formal voice, offering her his hand so she could elegantly sit down. She took his offer, lightly placing her hand in his as she circled her chair and sat down, deep blue silk pooling around her feet as the dress fanned out to accommodate the seat.

"Only if sir would like to join me," she replied, giggling when he plonked himself down in the most uncouth fashion, forgoing the grace she'd used since he was too excited to snuggle in beside her.

Upon seeing them exchange enamoured looks, the steward left them alone, knowing all too well about happily engaged, flirty couples alone in the rafters.

If they needed anything, he'd be just outside the door, but the performance was about to start, and they had everything they needed - champagne on ice, overpriced liquor chocolates, those tiny golden binoculars in case they couldn't see the stage - it was safer to leave them alone.

"Are you excited, sweet girl?" Ray asked as he plucked the champagne bottle from the ice bucket and two flutes from the small table next to him, pouring them each a glass as (y/n) squirmed in her velveteen chair, riddled with excitement as she watched the curtain twitch.

"Of course! This opera is a classic--the best one there is!" She replied, happily accepting the drink from him, switching hands before looping her free arm through his, hoping to get as close as possible by threading their fingers together.

"Thank you for this, doofus...I mean it."

"It's my pleasure, precious girl. Just because I love you," he smiled, twisting his body to see her shyly sip the expensive bubbly as his words sank in.

"I love you too, Ray. So much," she said, cupping his cheek and pulling him into a brief yet soft kiss, enjoying the mix of the champagne and his peppermint flavour.

They pulled apart, rubbing noses for far too long to be considered appropriate for their company, but when she finally set eyes on his handsome face, she'd funnily left her mark on him.

"You're wearing my lipstick, doof. It suits you..."

"Wouldn't mind wearing it in other places, too, darlin'," he answered throatily, lowering his voice in case someone in a neighbouring balcony or in the ground seating somehow heard them. It was highly improbable, given how everything was spaced out, but he'd hated for them to get thrown out - this was his girl's dream.

Her breath hitched at his words, feeling her stomach drop at the meaning, the thought, the impropriety of what he was suggesting here in one of the most regal buildings in Swellview.

Swallowing to remove the sudden dryness in her mouth, her fingers squeezed the meat of his bicep, imagining what it would be like to get on her knees, unzip his pants and thank him properly. But then, she looked across the hall to see the same snotty couple who'd boasted about meeting Captain Man and Miss Danger taking their seats.

Part of her wanted to scandalise them - really give them something to gossip about - but then...

"Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. The show is about to begin..." An eloquent voice crooned over the speakers, sending the crowd into a buzzing hush as the lights dimmed.

That made up her mind; as much as she wanted to wrap her lips around his pretty cock, she couldn't miss the opening act.

"Behave yourself, Raymond, and watch the show," she smirked, gulping a large swig of alcohol to dull the neediness in her lower tummy as he relaxed into his chair with a smirk.

"Of course, sweet girl. Can't let you miss your favourite opera..." Ray nodded, deliciously spreading his thick thighs until his right knee nudged hers. He placed his flute on the table again before running his fingertips down her arm, aiming to take her hand and thumb her engagement ring - he just needed to feel her soft skin first.

Despite his sudden craving to indulge in her sweetness, having no interest in the show, he meant what he said. This was a core memory moment, a night she'd remember for the rest of her life, and he wanted it to be happy--a moment that would make her stomach flip in the best way.

"Shhhh, doofus. It's starting..." (y/n) whispered, practically squealing when the lights faded and the conductor appeared in front of the orchestra pit.

An echoing applause roared around the theatre at his presence, the heroine clapping fiercely with everyone else whilst Ray was more subdued. He was still polite but preferred to watch her expressive reactions as the opera commenced, silently proud that he'd caused her happiness.

Her eyes lit up when the music started, creating a lively introduction for the first scene where Lindoro was trying to serenade the beautiful girl in the window above. He knew how the poor sap felt when he had no luck, mooching around grumpily since his attempts to woo Rosina failed, something Ray knew very well.

Love was hard, but it paid off for him in the end, as it would for the young count in disguise. Out of all the times he tried to make her see how much he loved her, it only took one for them to form what they had now, and he loved it--her. He wanted her. And after such a difficult day, he couldn't resist.

This opera was meant to be memorable, and what he had in mind would ensure that.

With her eyes fixated on the stage, Ray found himself bored, which helped to sway his mind. He loved having her attention, but some guy called Figaro had stolen it since he had a mighty voice, so he was left slumped in his seat like a child, eyeing everyone around the room.

The posh couple across the theatre were enraptured in the performance, looking suitably appreciative of the refined culture with sour faces as if there was a bad smell under their noses.

Ray also couldn't see whoever was in the box next to them since they were both lined with elegant, floor-length, red velvet curtains.

Plus, anyone on the floor wouldn't dream of looking up, meaning he and his sweet girl were in their own little bubble as the orchestra and singing drowned out every other noise in the hall. Perfect.

On the pretence he was changing position, Ray gently pulled his arm free from his fiancée's hold, subtly shifting so he had more room to manoeuvre, or rather, slide his hand past her hip, down her thigh to her knee. Very subtle.

"Doofus..." she muttered, barely audible above the show as she placed her hand over his, lovingly stroking her thumb over his knuckles. She considered it a sweet gesture, not caring when he pushed her skirt apart so the slit exposed her soft flesh since his warm hand stayed still. It was comforting...until it moved.

Taking his chance when the Figaro guy started singing again, his hand slipped from underneath hers, inching back up her thigh centimetre by centimetre.

It was slow--it had to be; one glance from the couple across the way and they'd get chucked out, but the panel in front of them was tall enough to hide their lower halves, so it just looked like a man with his hand on his fiancée's leg as they enjoyed the show.

However, it was enough to make (y/n) choke on chocolate and make her eyes like saucers when she felt his fingertips reach her mid-thigh. Instantly, her hand flew to his wrist, holding him still before he reached her embarrassingly damp centre, having grown wet from thinking about him earlier, but they couldn't. So many people...

"Here, Raymond? Seriously?" She hissed, her gaze leaving the stage to look at him, gulping as she met his dark eyes. Nerves fluttered in her tummy when his eyes dropped to her lips and cleavage, making her thighs rub together a little, and because his hand was between them, he noticed.

"Can't resist, darlin'. Do you know much I've wanted this pussy today? Brad drove me insane, but I bet you're dripping--" he growled, sliding his hand further up her leg until it reached her soaked folds, "--fuck, you are, all for me too. Such a good girl for me--my good girl."

"What if s-someone sees?!" She gasped, wide-eyed. Her cunt quivered at the light touch, confused as to how he could make her react so strongly in so little time, but he only chuckled at her reaction, knowing she loved it, given how her hips moved forward to meet him.

His digits found her clit, sliding easy circles around it, thanks to how wet she was--a massive stroke for his ego as her nails dug into the chair. He couldn't tell if she was drenched from his touch, their vast audience or a combination of both, but nothing was stopping him from pleasuring her, not even her protests.

"No one can or will see anything. I don't share, sweet girl," he promised her, eyes sweeping the room again, but no one noticed them, too enthralled by the concert to see the handsome taking up all the space in his chair as he touched his future wife. He was free to do what he liked with her - within reason.

"Eyes on the opera, (y/n). I won't let you miss your favourite show," Ray growled in her ear, her name coming out as a deep, reverberating husk as he nuzzled her ear. She could barely think straight, let alone concentrate on what was happening on stage, when his thumb kept rubbing her clit whilst a finger dipped into her needy hole.

He slipped it in with little resistance, wanting to feel how tight she was around him since he couldn't bring out his cock and sit her on it without those snooty so-and-so's having something to say about it. He wouldn't let them see anyway, knowing her moans, glowing skin and pleasure-filled expressions were for him and only him.

So, he had to make do with pumping his finger in and out of her and ignoring the growing need pressing to the seam of his suit pants.

"Ray--Ray--oh, god..." she panted, struggling to keep her eyes open as she clenched around his thick digit, wishing he'd give her more before she burst into flames. Her walls hugged him closely, wanting everything he gave her, but God, if he didn't hurry up...

"Shhh, darlin'. Don't want anyone else to hear those noises but me 'cause they're so pretty..." he told her, nipping up her neck as she clamped a hand over her mouth, acting as naturally as possible as he plunged deeper. The roar of the orchestra would probably drown her out, but he didn't want to risk it, not after watching Brad try to take her away all day.

"So beautiful tonight... They were all looking at you, wondering who you were and what it would be like to have you, but they can't..."

"More, doofus--need more..." (y/n) whined, thrusting her hips a little to try and encourage him, but Ray didn't move, too caught up in his need for her.

His cock was rock-hard, aching to slip into her tight cunt, and he knew how easily she'd take him--she always did, his perfect little girl. Would it really be so improper to let her sit on his lap? No one would have to know he was balls-deep and making her cum around him repeatedly, but he resisted.

Instead, he focused on his darling girl, chuckling darkly at her needy voice.

"Need more, sweet girl? This pussy is so greedy...it just wants to be filled all the time," he muttered, watching her pull her lip between her teeth as he slipped in a second finger. Fuck, she was always so tight, too, making him groan in the back of his throat when she squeezed around him and slumped in her seat.

Pleasuring her was one thing, but turning his sweet, sophisticated fiancée into his wanton, cock-hungry brat made him harder than he cared to admit.

"Look at you. You're gonna cum in front of all these people, aren't you? Gonna cum for your audience?" he asked in her ear, uselessly marking up her neck as he thrust faster, his palm rubbing her throbbing clit with every movement.

"But you're not cumming for them, right? You only cum for me when I say."

"Yes--yes, only you...yours," she whined, vision blurring until she watched several colourful blobs singing and prancing around. Her slick coated his hand and her thighs, dripping onto her dress, though neither cared when he brushed a spot that made her want to sob.

"P-please, Captain...one more. J-just one more finger... I need to cum," she panted, wanting to feel the extra burn more than anything if she couldn't have him inside her.

God, the temptation was strong; they could sneak to the toilet and push his underwear down just enough. She could bend over the sink and let him fuck her like she wanted, but she didn't dare pull him away, not when she was so close.

"Don't worry, pretty girl. I'll stretch this little cunt out, so you just cum for me, yeah? Can you do that for me?" He asked as he added a third, pushing her to her deliciously full limit whilst the heel of his palm brushed her clit.

Her back arched off the seat at feeling full, knowing her orgasm was moments away. She chased her high without a care in the world, knowing the first act was drawing to a close anyway, so she wouldn't miss much if she lost herself in the haze.

"Yes--yes! Don't stop. Please, don't stop!" Ray grinned as she begged, feeling her hand flying to cover his, stopping him from pulling away as she approached her peak. He could feel it coming, having spent years studying every sign her body gave him, and he wanted it--wanted her to soak his fingers and make the night complete.

"Never, sweet girl, never. Not gonna stop. Gonna keep fucking you until you cum for me. You know why?"

"W-why?" (y/n) croaked, unable to string a thought together as her pussy clenched, but she stammered an answer because if not, he might have stopped. And that didn't bear thinking about when she was so, so close.

"Because you're mine," he growled, biting down on her neck as his words threw her over the edge. Her pitiful screams were lost to the thunderous crowd as they applauded the performers for their incredible first act, but Ray didn't give them a second thought.

His fingers kept moving through her high, loving how tight she felt as if she was trying to suck him in and milk him dry--if only he could replace them with his hard length.

Even if she held his wrist in an iron-like grip, he didn't falter, removing his touch only when she whined about the sensitivity, her damp forehead resting against his shoulder as the curtain closed for the interval.

"Shit--fuck--" (y/n) stammered, barely stringing her thoughts together as her doofus slowly pulled his fingers from her satisfied cunt, and she quickly straightened her dress out before someone got suspicious.

A quick sip of champagne and she pulled herself together, pulling the strap up her arm to her shoulder as she sat up straight, looking as respectable as any other person in the hall - unlike Ray, who looked fucked-out with his tented trousers and lustful eyes.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"Nope. Not even sorry..." Ray replied with a smug smirk as he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking her slick off each digit and groaning at the delectable taste in a scandalous move that had his pretty girl's jaw on the floor.

"Raymond!" She gasped, watching his every move as a burning need returned to the pit of her stomach. He took his time, going down to the knuckle so he didn't miss a drop because he could get away with fingering her in the booth but not spreading her open and having his fill.

"Fucking delicious..." he muttered once he'd had his fill, wiping his hand on his pants without a care in the world as he relaxed again.

Seeing (y/n) so content and snuggling into his side made the discomfort from his raging hard-on worth it, but he wasn't the only one with mischief on his mind. The lights were on but still dimmed, and they had some time before the second act...

"Now that you've had your fun..." she said coyly, nonchalantly sliding her hand up his thigh like he'd done until she reached his rather large problem, "what about mine?"

She squeezed his cock through the fabric, his ensuing grunt going straight to her pussy as she crossed her legs and tauntingly raked her fingernails over his flesh. Sultry, vixen-like and all his - was there any wonder he felt like blowing his load in his pants like a teenager?

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're worse than me," he groaned, laying his hand over hers as she stroked him, guiding the pace as he lolled his head back and fluttered his eyes shut.

It was heavenly, but a faint cough from the next box along was like a bucket of cold water, reminding him of their very public surroundings. He couldn't let someone see his precious girl; it would cheapen her reputation and cause nothing but humiliation.

"Da-darlin', someone will see--we can't..."

"So? I'm happily returning the favour, and besides, I think we have time before the second act," (y/n) giggled, feeling her mouth water at the shape of his thick cock through the shadows - more than a mouthful.

"Time for what?" Ray asked as he threw an arm around her shoulders, bringing her in close as she beamed and lightly kissed his lips, her hand never leaving his cock since it made him breathless.

"For me to get on my knees..." she whispered, loving the dark chuckle from his chest as he pinched her chin and kissed her properly, showing his desire.

He swallowed her taste, forgetting everyone else around them in that little box - where they got to forget who they were and enjoy themselves for a couple of hours. They made memories to last a lifetime, throwing propriety to the wind as they took selfies, shared more than a peck or two, and fed each other chocolates.

Across the way, two unapproving stares bounced off their happy little bubble, unaffecting their serenity since they couldn't give a shit if the posh couple found their open affection disgusting.

The girl was far too forward, her husband too accepting of her behaviour, and they couldn't think of how they - those peasants - could afford such prime seats.

"Well, I think it's disgusting. Look, she's all over him, and he leers and slavers like a dog at a barbecue..." A snotty, high-pitched voice hissed in the ear to her left, drawing a disinterested sigh from the same person since all they ever heard was her squawking when he was trying to text his secretary.

"Yes, dear..."

There was nothing dear about it, and as they sat two inches apart, it was sad to think about how distant the married couple were when the appearances fell.

As she passed judgement on the lovers on the other side, at least they could say that would never be like them because they didn't care if they lost it all - the fame, the fans, the goddamn helicopter.

As long as they had stolen moments like these.

*Happy belated Valentines, guys. I stole this off Instagram <3