«I've been playing dead my whole life and I get this feeling whenever I feel good it'll be the last time.»
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She turned to him, and so did Sebastian. Mimicking the way she folded her hands and everything. Cassandra narrowed her eyes but eventually relaxed at the sight of his nonchalant expression.
"It's not like your house in Switzerland. Not even like where you live here in Milton Keynes." She said as if he would care about that.
Fairly enough the place wasn't bad. Abigail had a good job, and Cassandra even in her unemployed momentum had money to afford a good and decent place. They lived well and in a nice neighbourhood, sure it wasn't Switzerland and she didn't have a pool but whatever. Sebastian drifted his attention from her to the building in front of them. They really didn't live that far away if he thought about it. From his flat in Milton Keynes, that was.
"It looks nice." He simply said, switching over to her again.
"Alright, let's go."
Cassandra got off the car first, and he followed her after, locking his car and walking behind her as she entered the building. The man at the entrance looked at them, she pretty much just looked back without saying a single word, whilst Sebastian gave him a nod as a greeting. It seemed like he probably recognised him for a bit. The doors of the elevator closed behind them as she pressed the button to her floor. They stayed in silence until the elevator doors opened again and she motioned for him to follow.
She struggled with the key for a second, and Sebastian smiled fondly, and then the door opened. Cassandra was very grateful Abigail was as tidy as one could be. The whole flat smelled like roses though, she grimaced at that. His eyes scanned the place. It looked and felt exactly how the apartment of two twenty-something-year-old girls would be. Maybe more homely thanks to Abigail, or Cassandra thought so. There were a few paintings, mostly abstract ones, some marked posters of what Sebastian assumed were bands or movies, and a lot of plants.
"I like the posters." He mentioned, gesturing at them with his hand.
She smiled. "My flatmate, best friend, she got obsessed with a bunch of obscure films a couple of years ago. They look nice." She peeked at the posters. Most of the decor in the flat was on Abigail, Cassandra mostly took care of her room. "Come." Cassandra extended her hand for him to take.
Sebastian took a couple of seconds and grabbed it, before being guided to what he assumed was her room. Unlike the living room, Cassandra's bedroom just felt like hers. What caught his attention the most was the big bookshelf on one side of the room, it was fairly stacked with books of different sizes and colours, but there was one row where the books just followed the same design pattern. That got his attention. She let go of his hand and he took the opportunity to walk over to the bookshelf. Cassandra followed him with her gaze, up until he stood in front of the books and looked back at her.
"You read a lot." He told her with a smile plastered on his lips.
She half-shrugged. "I got a bunch of them from my dad's collection."
He nodded and looked again at the books. The row with similar books more specifically. Mike Dunley, the name of the author read on the spine of the books. It could be a whole collection for all he knew.
"You like this one a lot." Sebastian pointed at the row. "Is he your favourite?"
Cassandra chuckled. "Those are my dad's published books." She clarified.
He turned to her, a little frown creasing his brows in confusion. "But you are Cassandra Ritter? No?"
"I am Cassandra Ritter. He wrote under a pseudonym. His actual name was Robert Ritter, but he always said it sounded weird, so that was his writer's name. Mike Dunley." She remembered telling him that Robert Ritter sounded way better, but he always shook his head.
"I see. That's cool." She nodded. "Can I...?" Sebastian pointed at the books indicating if he could take one. Cassandra immediately motioned with her hands for him to go ahead.
And so he did. The title read 'In The Name of Loneliness', and his fingertips softly traced each letter. Cassandra approached him, Sebastian could feel her looking over his shoulder at the book he had grabbed. He turned to look at her, she was so close. Her hands were on his back, and her chin rested on his shoulder. His heart might have been beating faster than normal.
"You picked a sad one. If you want to know how heartbreak leads to loneliness that's a good read." She said with a scowl and looked back at him. There was a glint in his eyes. "What?" She furrowed her brows at the way he was looking at her.
He blinked. Twice. "I'm sorry, I just," He wanted to keep Cassandra in his mind forever. "I do like you. A lot." His gaze flickered to her lips for a split second. She noticed.
She reached to grab the book from his hands, and Sebastian didn't stop her. The book was long forgotten as Cassandra took his hand and guided him to her bed, he sat there, just staring as she stood in between his legs and cradled his face with her hands. His eyes found hers and Cassandra thought I must have been a fucking vegan in another life or a nun because she was sure the adoration with which Sebastian looked at her was only deserved with good deeds.
Like she genuinely found the solution for world peace and he was thanking her for it. Obviously, she was far from that.
She kissed him, again and again. And it was weird because she had never taken anyone home, but it was fine because he was Sebastian and he liked her, and he thought she wasn't a terrible person. Or at least not yet.
Cassandra pulled away from the kiss and sighed. "I think I was a vegan in another life." She said. "Or I saved a bunch of old people. Or puppies. I have no idea."
His eyes opened, and he looked amused. "How so?" He smiled. The sweet smiles, the ones she was getting used to.
"You're just too good, aren't you?" Sebastian, ever so humble, looked incredibly smug now. "Nevermind, I forgot who I was talking to." He placed a hand on her hip, rubbing soft circles on the skin under her shirt. Something came to her mind, as he looked at her with the same spark in his eyes. "Wait a second."
Taking a few steps back from him, Cassandra went straight to her desk and began rummaging through one of the drawers. Sebastian lay on the bed, resting his weight on his elbows, head tilted to properly get a glance of what she was doing. It seemed like she was having trouble finding what she was looking for and for a few seconds, he was tempted to ask what was going on, until her lips curved into a triumphant smile and her hands emerged from the deeps of the drawer holding a camera.
He raised an eyebrow when her attention drifted back to him, but she just smiled and began her way back to him.
"I hope it still works." She waved the black camera in the air before fiddling with its buttons of it. It looked like a professional one.
Stopping in front of him, Cassandra looked down at the way he was lying in her bed. She put the camera's strap around her neck until it was hanging and pretty much hopped into bed straddling Sebastian's lap with her knees to each of his sides. He looked surprised at first, but not like he was about to complain about having her on top of him. Then he remembered what she had talked about during her university days.
"Are we going to film a sex tape? I'm not complaining, but I don't know how Red Bull's PR would feel about it if it gets leaked." Cassandra chuckled, loudly. He liked the sound of it. Her hand slapped him on his leg.
She grabbed the camera with her hands and looked straight into his eyes. "I want to take pictures of you." It sounded cheesy and ridiculous, but for all heavens and hells, did she love his eyes. "Not the usual pictures I used to take." Although looking at Sebastian in a maid's dress was tempting, that wasn't her goal. "I just," A deep breath. "It could be a nice memory someday."
He didn't say anything and just nodded. The camera worked, and although her career as a photographer had lasted exactly nothing, she could admit she was quite decent. For someone who hadn't practised in years at least. Maybe Gareth would be jealous of her because Sebastian was giving his all in their little moment, or he was just naturally enjoying himself and smiling as Cassandra snapped a few pictures. His eyes were so expressive, no wonder she felt like drowning during every moment of eye contact with him.
"Wait, wait, wait." Sebastian grabbed the camera, or more so, put his hands on top of hers as she held the camera. "I want to take a picture of you too." He said with a sweet tone.
Cassandra didn't hesitate, she took off the camera from around her neck and let him have it. He tried to analyse it for a second or two before leaning against the bed and pointing the camera at her. She flipped him off on the first photo taken, and he laughed. If not for the fact he knew what her profession was, he would've believed she did modelling at some point. Or she was just that hot and beautiful.
Once he turned the camera off, he placed it on the side and pushed with his arms to get closer face to face with her. Cassandra still lay comfortably straddling him with her knees. She was practically sitting on his lap at that point.
"You know, in a few years when we look at those photos again, we will wonder why we didn't make the sex tape." Sebastian teased her and grinned as her face comically dropped.
"Sebastian." Her accent combined with the tone of warning was just too delightful for him. He wanted to keep her close forever.
"I'm just saying." He even dared to sound innocent.
Her eyes narrowed. "You need to shut up then."
"Make me." He challenged all smug and full of confidence.
She did, of course. Not because she actually wanted him to shut up — he would never anyway — but because she wouldn't say no to any chance to kiss him. It wasn't like he would stop her from doing so. Sebastian wrapped his arms around her because the closer he had her, the more real it felt. For him, Cassandra was the closest thing to a dream in reality. She was so beautiful, maybe complicated as well, but that was what made it real.
"I want to live in this moment forever." He said in between kisses.
Cassandra felt her heart drop and a warmth spread all over her. Forever didn't even sound that impossible for some reason.
—-
The moment Abigail walked through the door, her eyes found Cassandra's, and the other way around. They looked at each other like two people who hadn't seen one another in a while, although Abigail was more astonished by the person who just happened to be behind her friend.
Sebastian even bumped against her back the moment Cassandra stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Abigail. He was ready to say something, a little banter probably until he realised there was now a third person in the apartment. The girl he had seen in one of the pictures in Cassandra's bedroom. Abigail. The closest thing to family for her.
"Hey, Cass." Abigail started, dragging the words a little. Her eyes flickered to Sebastian, who still stood behind Cassandra. "And hey there." She waved her hand in a friendly way.
She looked nice, Sebastian thought. Cassandra blinked at Abigail, then cleared her throat. She could feel Sebastian's chest pressed against her back. "Hi, Abigail." Her voice sounded squeaky, or it was her mind playing the fool with her. "I, uh, sorry. This is Sebastian." Her hand gestured at him. "Sebastian, this is Abigail, she's my best friend and flatmate."
Abigail dropped what she carried on the sofa, getting closer to them whilst Sebastian slipped from behind Cassandra, already holding his hand out for Abigail to take. Pleasantries were exchanged, friendly smiles and a couple of nice to meet you before he made his way back to stand next to her, and Abigail stayed in front of them. A few feet away though. Her friend looked at her, then at Sebastian. She looked as pleased as a kid getting their favourite Christmas present.
"I've heard a lot about you," Abigail mentioned with a playful smile. Cassandra narrowed her eyes.
Sebastian quirked an eyebrow with interest. "Really? I hope good things." She looked at them both.
Her friend glanced at her, probably remembering the part where she had straight up called Sebastian vexing. In Cassandra's defence, he was still somehow vexing, just in a different way now.
"Compliments only." Abigail smiled. The fact she even heard about Sebastian coming from Cassandra was already an achievement. "I didn't know you were coming back to England today." Or she did know, but when it came to Cassandra it was hard to predict things.
"I missed the weather." She definitely didn't, but Abigail snorted.
"Well, at least you didn't get kidnapped." Her gaze flickered to Sebastian as she intently looked at him.
This one shrugged with one shoulder. "I didn't want to get in trouble with the...MI6? Was that the one?" Abigail proudly nodded. Cassandra shook her head. "So she's here, safe and healthy."
"Good, good," Abigail said. Something seemed to occur to her, and Cassandra noticed. "Oh, I don't know if you were about to leave, or something like that, but if you'd like to stay for dinner you're welcome. We don't get a lot of visitors here." Aside from Gareth who seemed keener on living there than in his own flat.
Sebastian looked at Cassandra as if searching for her approval. This one turned to him and shrugged, giving him a smile just to let him know that it was up to him and she didn't have any issue if he wanted to stay for dinner. Neither would Abigail if he had to decline the invitation. Although by the look on his face, it seemed like he really wanted to have dinner with them.
"Sure, that would be a pleasure." He smiled at Abigail, who smiled back. It was pretty different from knowing some of her other guys had been banned from the flat. She didn't want to name any names but it was obvious. "I think I left my phone in your room." Sebastian palmed his pockets and didn't feel anything. He looked apologetically at both of them. "Can I?" He asked Cassandra, and she nodded. "Excuse me."
When Sebastian was out of hearing range, and pretty much already inside her room, Cassandra felt Abigail's presence next to her, and if she didn't, the way her friend nudged her with the elbow would've been enough. She looked at her. There was an almost knowing expression on Abigail's face, and she groaned quietly.
"He's cute," Abigail said with a low tone.
"He's nice," Cassandra added, looking in the direction of her room. "I mean, you know."
"Don't ruin it." Her finger pointed at her in a warning. "What I mean is, something good can come out of it."
Cassandra placed a hand on her chest, feigning offence. "Maybe he'll break my heart and ruin my life. Why am I the one getting the accusation here?"
Abigail smiled. "You know why. Don't play the victim."
Their little moment stopped when Sebastian walked out of Cassandra's room, phone in hands and everything. He looked at Cassandra first, because of course, even in a room full of people his gaze would search for her first. Abigail patted her back and walked over to the kitchen, smiling at Sebastian when he got closer to them. He hesitated as to whether he could touch her or not, grab her hand or anything like that, now that Abigail was there with them, but she freed him from the dilemma by grabbing his hand herself and guiding him along with her. Abigail peered at them with the corner of her eye, and if she smiled and Cassandra noticed, she wouldn't say anything.
"We're not like...fine chefs or something like that. Just so you know." Cassandra mentioned as he sat in one of the chairs of the kitchen island.
"Talk for yourself." Abigail retorted, earning a shove from Cassandra.
He looked at their dynamic with something along the lines of endearment. She looked really comfortable with Abigail. His curious side wondered what was the story there, how they had met each other in the first place. Maybe it was the way they carried themselves, they didn't seem that compatible at first glance, but if he paid enough attention he could see how they just behaved perfectly around each other. It was charming. They even moved in sync and everything.
"So Sebastian," Abigail started. Cassandra rolled her eyes recognising her tone. "What do you do for a living?" She looked at him, and he looked taken aback by the question. In a matter of a second, Abigail's expression relaxed and she just chuckled. "I'm just joking. I know who you are. We watched one of your races together." Her finger pointed at the space between her and Cassandra.
"And? Was it enjoyable at least?" He asked with curiosity.
Abigail and Cassandra exchanged a look. "Some of us would've preferred someone else on the podium, but what do I know." Abigail gave him a meaningful look before glancing at Cassandra.
"Alright, stop talking," Cassandra warned. Abigail scoffed. She turned to Sebastian. "Don't listen to her."
"No, no." He grinned. "Let her talk. I want to listen more."
"You really don't." She insisted.
The topic was dropped, but Cassandra knew Sebastian still had some banter in him. They ate together, the three of them, with Sebastian and Cassandra sitting in front of Abigail. Her friend liked him, she could tell by the way they spoke to each other, even when there wasn't a lot to measure from because Abigail would like anyone who wasn't Matteo, Cassandra could tell when Abigail liked someone seriously and when it was out of politeness.
It was weird in the sense that Abigail, as her best friend, was another step into her personal life, and Sebastian apparently seemed to be rather good at unlocking new things about her. She'd talked to him about herself, about her family, and now there he was, sharing quality time with her and Abigail.
There were some things still left for him to learn, and it would either end well or badly. Neither of them truly knew.