I can honestly say that the worst time of the year may just be known as 'the most wonderful time of the year'. I found it to be rather stressful. Though I'm no grinch, I love Christmas morning and certain parts of December.
The music and the decorations. But the looming thoughts of family came in. Christmas during my childhood wasn't something I looked back fondly on. I was one of those children that Santa didn't really have time for. So when I had Joely, I knew that Santa was something my children would experience.
But the stress of holiday shopping and overwhelming remembrance of past years makes things hard. But Christmas isn't all gloom, there's a Jones and a Peters who make it little bit more merry and bright.
The taxi door opens and I feel my arm being yanked out by Bella as she holds Joely in hand. My feet hit the pavement and the taxi door shuts as we are left at the Christmas market.
Every year at the common and Christmas festival is held. Tourists and locals fill the park with stuff to do "We should try and get her to Santa before the line gets way too long" Joely was half awake on Bella's arm
"Will she even remember meeting Santa?"
Bella gasped "She has to meet Santa?" She was acting more like Joelys mother than me "No grinch for Christmas Hope, get your holiday cheer on!"
Her excitement reminded me of when she helped run the Middleberry High school Christmas festival. She forced me to help her when I wanted nothing to do with it.
We walked through Christmas decor and giant candy canes with lights as far as the eye can see. I personally wanted to be snuggled up on my couch with cocoa right about now.
"NEXT" I handed Joely off to Santa as Bella clasped her hands in excitement.
But yet again Joely was only just about three. So her knowledge of Santa was slim. So when the tears came the second she sat down, I wasn't left surprised.
"Alright Jo, let's go" I picked her up and glared at Bella "shhh it's okay, it's okay it was just Santa"
But really a creepy old man in a suit. I believed that Santa was just a start to leaving children with major trust issues. Suddenly we are all cool with a big fat man sliding down our chimney?
"Bella I told you that was not a good idea" Joely fell asleep on my shoulder once again as we walked through the market "Well lesson learned?" I sighed and turned towards the ornaments.
I lifted an ornament and smiled at the memory "Joely's father took me here once when I was eighteen, our senior year"
6 years ago
"I think this is our worst idea yet"
The train stops as my eyes stare through the window at the ones across from me. His gaze met mine in the reflection "I'm teaching you how to live Hope, come on you're going to love Boston"
Growing up in a suburb 45 minutes outside of Boston actually held me back from the city. I've only journeyed here few times from Middleberry "I think my mother would have a stroke if she knew I were here"
"Your mother no longer has a place in your life, nor does she deserve one. So why should she earn an opinion Hope? Come on let's go" he smiled at her softly and I accepted my hand as we exited the train.
North station was massive with the Garden attached to it. I've never been here before, if I did go to Boston it was through driving "Come on we gotta make the green line to Government Center"
He dragged my hand a long with him as he was basically pulling me "It's a subway, they'll be another one!" He laughed as I dragged behind him
We stopped at the ticket machine and he swiped us two Charlie cards. I scanned mine and stepped through, as we made it to the platform waiting I found myself surrounded by others with Celtics gear on "There's a game tonight" he whispered
"If you think I'll be watching, you'd be wrong. Bring me to a Bruins game and I'll be your girl, not a basketball game!" He kissed my cheek and squeezed my waist
The green line blew by coming to a stop and we jumped on. I gripped to the pole and his arms wrapped around me quickly as I jilted when the train moved. Eyes lingered to us, but I knew it wasn't because of me.
It was because of him.
"Sometimes I wish you were a little bit more ugly"
He scoffed laughing at my remark and then dipped down to my level taking my lips into his. "Ewww PDA in Boston, they're going to kick us out!" The train finally reached our stop and we got off.
I took his hand as we walked through the metal dividers "I'm freezing my ass off, how did you con me into coming to Boston in December?"
"Christmas at the Commons and music at Copley Hope. You've been robbed of Christmas in Boston" I frowned "I will not be ice skating" I dragged behind him once again
"Stop speed walking" he stopped short and turned to me now annoyed "I have little legs!" Before I could think he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder "OH MY GOD"
"PUT ME DOWN" stares came from every direction as my ass was in the air. Though fortunately I chose jeans for todays travels
"No"
"This is so embarrassing" I squirmed in his arms as he laughed. We made our way onto the streets with me still over his shoulder "we look obnoxious!" He didn't budge but there it was ahead of me
We finally made it to the Commons. Booths and snow laced the place. Light Christmas music played while tourists filled the common. Suddenly my feet touched the ground and soon I fell on my ass "OUCH" I gasped at the pain
My asscheek collided with the brick ground and his face now looking guilty "Oh god Hope I'm sorry" I scoffed and accepted his hand as he helped me up "Now you have to buy me lunch"
"I was buying it for you anyways" I think being eighteen made the world seem bigger than it is, because it's truly small. It was one of our first dates out in public together, but away from my hometown
"Look at that" I pointed to an ornament it was an ornament of a walrus with a silly Santa hat
"You hate sea animals?"
"No but this one is silly" I giggled at how poorly painted the animal was and looked to see that a local artist makes them. I watched as his hand flew over the counter handing the guy a $20 bill
"Merry Christmas Hope" I glared at him
"Thanks for the ugly walrus"
"Anytime Hope"
Present
"You knew Joely's father at eighteen?" I looked at Bella who looked surprised. I never really spoke of him, he was a love that I lost due to time "he's from Boston? You didn't meet at college-"
"So many questions Bella?" She knew I didn't like to talk about him much either "He never showed up, end of story... the END- books over!" She frowned.
"So what's with the ugly ornament" I smiled at the walrus ornament that was now painted yellow making it worse.
"Nothing, just made me laugh" We stood walking away from the booth and in the distance a ghost stood.
Then it happened, the moment where you feel your heart stop and the earth shake. Her head turned to me in confrontation. A ghost standing twenty feet away in the distance.
She took a step forward as I stayed still. Looked to my daughter who was fast asleep in my arms. Bella looked over to see the shell of a woman in the distance as her eyes peered to me and to Joely in my arms.
I simply turned away and before I knew it a hand touched my shoulder "Hope" her voice cracked as I froze, she came to face my front.
"Hope" this time her voice broke. A ghost that I haven't seen in 8 years stood before me. A woman who was worthy of nothing
"What do you want Julie" her eyes dropped as I used her name.
"Come on Hope, can we talk?" The audacity she has, even coming up to me.
"You should've came to talk 8 years ago Julie, I think we should go" this time Bella voiced. I wasn't going to let my tears come through, she wouldn't see me weak.
"You have a child?" She whispered "How old-"
"Julie I don't want to talk with you, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell Hyram you saw me. So that we could go back to our lives, the one where we are both dead to each other" I turned away and left quickly as Bella followed behind.
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Once we stepped out of the taxi we made our way into Bella's apartment quickly. She took Joely from my arms and brought her to the guest bed as I collected myself.
"Fuck"
"FUCK" the hot tears trickled down my cheeks and I leaned my head against the wall and soon I felt another hand on my shoulder.
My blurred eyes caught him in my vision "Hope? What happened, are you okay?" I sucked in my lips trying to breath and I shook my head
"Hope what happened?" I sucked in any oxygen that my body would take and before I could move a step I felt myself pressed against Theo's chest "shhh Hope you're okay"
I just sobbed, I felt so vulnerable. I hadn't seen her since I was just a child. But there she was in Boston walking around 45 minutes away from the town she left me in.
His hand was pressed against the back of my head as I dampened his black sweatshirt "I can't, I can't-"
"Just breathe, just breathe you don't need to explain. He rocked me in his arms back in forth as I felt safe in his embrace, but I just kept breaking down
"Hope?" I looked over to see Reed as I cried and let go Theo going into his grasp "what happened?" I shook my head as I continued to let the tears go
"We saw Julie, her mother" Bella came down the stairs "she hasn't seen her in 8 years-"
"When she didn't care about me anymore, she didn't even look for me. Didn't wonder where I went, if I was even okay?" Reed kissed my forehead and rubbed my back
"Shhh, it's okay... just breathe"
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Authors Note:
Ghosts, always there
when you least expect them
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