Bobby and Lili deal with the aftermath of THAT phone call. Things are about to get pants-shittingly uncertain.
***
Bobby sighed dreamily and stared at the ceiling. His sleep had been restless, his brain simply refusing to shut down after what had happened.
He could still hear it. Lili's soft moans and sighs. The splashing water. The way she cried out his name. A tingle trailed up his spine and his cock stirred to life. They'd really done it. They'd had phone sex. Or sex on the phone. Or... something. He wasn't sure what to call it, but he'd definitely come all over himself and so had she.
It was... beautiful. His sheet began to tent, and he huffed a laugh, shifting to adjust himself.
At the end of the call, Lili's teasing voice, so soft and satiated, had filled him with halting hope. Excitement really. She was coming to his flat again this weekend. Would she pull him into her arms like she always did, in a safe, friendly hug? Or would she wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him with the same reckless longing that was throbbing inside of him?
Maybe she wouldn't do either. Thick cords of anxiety began tightening around his delicate hope. Maybe she wouldn't show up at all. He tried to rescue the feeling. To think about kissing her, but the cords constricted into knots that his hopefulness couldn't escape from.
His daydream of long, hot kisses and entwined limbs and stroking the line of her nose while she slept, was likely nothing but a fantasy. A fantasy that could destroy their friendship. He'd been content to avoid thinking about the consequences of their phone call, but now, his thoughts were tethered by harsh reality. He knew Lili. And if there was one thing she was good at, it was avoiding anything that overwhelmed or confused her. And he had no doubt that she'd woken up confused as hell. After all, could anyone, even without their complicated history, go back to being friends after wanking with each other?
He stumbled out of bed and stared out the window, hoping for some clarity, but there was no morning sun to warm and reassure him. Instead, a thunderstorm beat against his bedroom window, as if Mother Nature herself was weighing in on all the ways he'd fucked up his life in a single, perfect moment.
Eager to escape the gnarl of his fears, he stripped off his pyjamas and climbed into the shower before the water had even warmed up. The shock of it woke him, for better or worse. Everything was a mess. He leaned his head against the wall and groaned, wishing like he had so many times, that they were simply a boy and girl who fell for each other and lived happily ever after. But they weren't. And they hadn't.
He stayed in until the hot water was gone, and he was shivering. His morning routine came and went, and like always, he checked his phone. Lili usually called him around this time but it didn't ring. He waited five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen. His chest tightened. Lili not calling was a bad sign. His thumb hovered over her face in his contacts, but out of pure cowardice he turned his phone over and sat it on the counter.
Maybe it was better not to know.
Shaking his head, he forced himself to start his morning baking. He made scones and clootie dumpling cupcakes, mixing everything mechanically. His body did the work, while his mind kept returning to the silent phone, willing it to ring one moment, willing it not to ring the next.
While everything cooled, he pulled a pan of ginger tiffin from his refrigerator and began cutting it into small squares. On the counter, his phone suddenly pulsed with Lili's ringtone.
Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere
He dropped the knife and it nearly landed on his foot, but he jumped back at the last second.
Rockin' everywhere, rockin' everywhere
Taking a deep breath, he picked up the phone. "Mornin'," he said, infusing his voice with chipper brightness.
"Hiya, la!" she chirped just as brightly. "I can't really chat too much today because I have to sit through three very boring group sessions about the new camp programmes. But I just wanted to remind you about your photo shoot."
Oh shite. He'd nearly forgotten about the shoot for Siobhan's new autumn collection.
"You forgot, didn't you?" she asked.
"Time is an illusion, Lil. Of course I did." He took a deep breath. "Thanks for reminding me. I appreciate it. I..." He wasn't sure what to say.
"Hey." Her voice lost the false cheer. "I know we need to talk about what happened."
"Yeah, we do."
"Last night was..." she trailed off.
Amazing? Miraculous? Best night he'd had in years? No, until he could read where this was going, it was best not to say any of that. "It was a thing," he said.
A breathy laugh that made him ache, whooshed from her. "A whole thing." She released a sigh in what might have been relief. "It was just a thing that happened, like."
"A glitch." His heart constricted painfully as he said it.
"Yeah, that's it. A glitch. It doesn't have to mean anything." She paused, and her voice lost its gentleness, becoming more business-like. "Obviously, there's a lot of history with us and maybe it was naive to think there wouldn't be any slip ups. But we don't have to let this change us or make it weird."
The words came out fast and smooth, as if she'd practised them ahead of time. Which... of course she would. The thought made him smile despite the swell of disappointment crashing through him. He tried to let that particular feeling crest and recede. If he couldn't have anything else, then this was what he wanted. For it to be nothing, so they could go back to being best friends.
But a part of him couldn't resist digging a little. "It does feel weird though right?" he asked as he returned to cutting the tiffin.
"Very." A soft laugh huffed from her and then evaporated. "I blame myself for what happened, like. I shouldn't have–"
"Don't do that," he said. "We did what we did. It happened. We just have to sort it out."
He could hear her nod through the phone. "Sound. Let's consider it sorted. It's not a thing unless we make it one. And we just won't."
"Sorted." He stared down at the jagged line he'd cut into the chocolate layer of the biscuit cakes. "It's not a thing."
They were quiet a moment. He could hear the click of Lili's heels. "Alright, well I'll see you on Friday!"
He shoved the pan aside and put his hands on the counter, trying to remember the person he'd been before a wank had spun his world into chaos. "Don't forget to bring me at least five birthday presents," he ordered her, hoping he sounded reasonably like himself.
"I'm buying you a sofa! How many more gifts do you want?"
"Clearly, at least four more. A man only turns twenty-seven once, Lil."
"Fine." Amusement glimmered in her voice. "You're getting nothing but socks. Two pairs. And I'm wrapping each sock individually."
The laugh that shot from him was genuine. He knew without a doubt she wasn't above doing something like that. "They'd better be silk," he said, channelling Lucas's ridiculous posh accent.
Her snort made him forget everything for a moment. They chatted until she got to the bus station, and then they ended the call with none of the insincere cheer they'd begun it with. Instead, everything felt fine. Back to normal.
Sorted.
**
The week proved Lili right. Nothing changed.
They went as if nothing had happened, talking about their days, making each other laugh, and even trading the same flirtatious little nudges and winks, like always.
Maybe it really had been just a glitch. Momentary madness.
Despite all that, Bobby awoke on his birthday feeling edgy. Itchy. Uncertain. As if a bomb would drop at any moment and blast his happiness to smithereens.
Shooting out of bed, he rushed around to pick up his flat, despite knowing that Lili would be stealthily cleaning it anyhow. Then, unable to stand still, he started in on the sugarpaste bugs for the cupcakes.
He'd all but finished them when he heard Lili's familiar knock, knock, pause, knock, knock. "Come in!" he shouted, his hands full of fondant.
She strutted in, wearing her rain-soaked spy outfit and smiling so bright he could almost believe that his world was safe from shrapnel and smithereens.
That, or he was in the midst of a deceptively lovely detonation.
"Happy birthday!" she warbled.
"Thank you!" He put down the fondant and brushed his hands on his apron. Rainwater dripped off her hooded jacket, but he hugged her anyhow. Like everything was normal.
Because it was. Normal.
It's not a thing unless we make it one. And he would not be the one to make it a thing.
He pulled back and gave a quick perusal, walking in a circle around her.
She raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"
"Searching. I do not see one gift, Liliana."
"Oh don't worry, you'll get your gifts."
"Well, where are they?"
"That's for me to know." Her cocky smirk lit a tiny flame inside him that he tried to extinguish. They were friends. That was it.
Their afternoon went like it always did. They made all the cupcakes. They had fun, they laughed. And between all of it, he fielded a million birthday texts from friends, and even more from strangers on social media. Lili snapped a few great photos of him pretending to be sexy while he got ready for his party. He posted them on Instagram right away. He loved when she did that for him. It always made his followers go mad.
–Who took that pic do you think?
–OMG does Chef B have a girlfriend 😍
–🙄 a friend prob took it u bellends ever think bout dat?
Lili smiled when he showed her messages like that, but there was always a little bit of sadness in it. Like she wanted to be a part of the fun but couldn't. She no longer had any socials, and for good reason. The first few months after the show were hard for both of them. Bobby was constantly hounded by the press and bombarded by sleazy managers and fake agents, hoping to syphon away as many litres of his fame as they could. Not to mention, the relentless pulse of strangers judging him. But for Lili, it had been worse. Her office and her belly dance troupe were harassed by the press, who called nonstop, digging for someone–anyone– who would give them a sound bite they could sell. Her DMs were inundated with unstable fans calling her names, slutshaming, and threatening her. Saying she deserved what he'd done.
It got so bad, The Fostering Project gave her a two-month layoff, just to stem the tide of callers and gossips who hunted her like prey. That's when she shut down all of her socials, changed her phone number, moved to a quieter part of Liverpool, and disappeared from the public.
Obviously after all that, he wanted Lili to have the privacy she desired, but he'd made an occasional slip up. Once, he'd snapped a selfie without realising that her heeled boots were in the background. Another time, he posted one that had her hand in the frame. Oh the drama and angst and speculation of that one. A handful of hopeless romantics had dreamily wondered if it could be Lili, but the idea was quickly shot down by everyone else.
–You're out of your mind. Like she'd ever go back to him.
–That girl was always out of his league
–I love Chef Bobby but there's no coming back from #beejgate
Comments like that used to sting, but he'd made peace with what happened back in the villa. The broken boy who'd sabotaged a genuine, near mystical connection with Lili was mostly a stranger to him now. The anxiety that created that version of himself would never disappear, but it was fading into something he could manage and face for what it was.
Mostly self-deception and fear.
He slid on his breeks. It was almost time for his party, and he still hadn't chosen a top. He debated the merits of silly tees versus dramatic dress shirts. After numerous tops were thrown on his bed in a wrinkled pile that was likely to make Lili hyperventilate, he finally settled on a button down with yellow and blue watercolour flowers all over it.
He peeked into the bathroom. Lili stood in front of his mirror in her sports bra and shorts, swaying to music while she applied eyeliner. He cleared his throat. When she turned toward him, he flipped his hair from one side to the other and gave her a saucy spin. "What do you think of this?" he asked.
"Oooh, that's the one."
He smoothed the fabric. "You think so?"
"Absolutely. You look fantastic, la."
He smirked. "I know." Then he bounced out to the living room, her warm laugh glittering behind him.
She didn't usually spend a ton of time on her hair and makeup, but for some reason, she was really taking it slow. After waiting for a bit, he found himself antsy and bored. She was still in there, hogging his mirror and scrunching curl cream into her hair. Needing something to do, he stealthily made his way to her room.
"If I were four gifts, where would I be?" he whispered. After a quick search of the closet and beneath the bed, he turned his attention to the roller suitcase on top of her blanket. She probably had it in there, hidden in plain sight. He could still hear the music in the bathroom, so he was safe to get nosy. Biting back a laugh, he unzipped the bag and began picking through her perfectly folded clothes.
"Your gifts aren't in there." Lili leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over her sports bra.
"God!" He jumped and clutched his chest. "How are you so quiet?"
"Obviously, I'm a secret ninja. Or maybe you just make way more noise than you think you do and drowned out my footsteps with your heavy breathing."
He kept on searching through her things. "So it's the ninja thing, right?"
"They're not in there, I told you," she said, a smile twitching at the edges of her mouth.
He shook his head. "I wasn't searching for my gifts. I would never. I was looking for that one sweater you wear sometimes. I wanted you to wear that."
"You're the worst liar."
"Am not." He found the top and tossed it on the bed. He threw a pair of jeggings over it. "Wear these with it." He picked up a lacy yellow thong and added it to the pile. "Wear that too."
"You've actually gone mad," she said. "Why are you picking out my pants?"
He shrugged. "Because it's my birthday."
"I think you were looking for your gifts and now you have no idea how to get out of this without admitting it."
"How dare you!" He held up the strapless, yellow bra that matched her thong. "Wear that too."
"No!" Laughing, she crossed the room and snatched the bra away from him. "You're not picking my bra colour, you birthday egotist." She shooed him out of the room. "There are no gifts here!"
"This is a travesty!" he shouted as he marched away. Thwarted, he sat at the table and answered some messages while he waited for her to get dressed. He finished nearly everything and she still hadn't come out of the room.
"Are you ready yet?" he called out. "We're late."
"You're literally late to everything," she hollered back.
"Aye, that's true, but that's because most things are boring. This is a soiree in my honour and I'm missing out on minutes–so many minutes–of basking in everyone's adoration." His phone pinged. "Also, Maitland just texted to tell me that Louis won't serve the food until we arrive. So if we don't get down there soon, she says she's going to start gnawing on Isla."
"Alright, alright," she said.
He glanced down and typed to tell Maitland they were on their way, and it wasn't his fault that they were late this time.
"I'm ready to go."
He raised his head and froze. He wasn't prepared for the sight of her in those snug jeggings. The high heeled boots. The glossy lips and dark, lined eyes. Her curls falling in a sexy disarray above the soft, cropped blue sweater that fell off one shoulder.
A curling, smoky heat enveloped him as he stared at her. His mind conjured up an image of himself trailing his lips along her exposed bronze collarbone and over her shoulder, while one hand slipped beneath the hem... oh fuck. No. He tried to shake away that completely inappropriate image.
What the hell was wrong with him? He'd seen her in that sweater before. She always looked amazing. But tonight, she was absolutely stunning.
"Wow." It was all he could think to say.
She spun around. "Yeah, maybe you should pick out all my outfits."
He desperately searched for his footing. "Um, damn right I should. Is it everything I picked out?"
"Ha! Wouldn't you like to know?" She gave him a smirk and headed for the door. "Come on, birthday boy."
He followed behind her, his eyes glued to her arse. "Clearly one of my gifts is you in those jeans."
She put an extra swish in her step. "One down, four to go."
When they got to Louis and Dean's door, she stepped aside. "Make your entrance."
He gave her a grin. "You get me." With that, he threw open the door and yelled, "Boom, baby! The birthday boy–no–the birthday MAN is here!"
Everyone laughed and cheered as he pimp walked into the sitting room. It was the usual gang. Louis, Dean, Isla, Maitland, Nivaan, Fenella, Jonno. Everyone who could be trusted enough to know about his friendship with Lili.
"Widdy!" Isla rushed past him, and Lili scooped her up. He was used to that by now and didn't bother getting chafed about it.
"Mi burbujita!" She kissed Isla's forehead and smoothed her frizzed red curls.
Isla's brows drew together. "I'm not little bubble. I'm big bubble!"
"Oh, how could I forget?" She sat Isla back on her feet just as Nivaan grabbed Lili's arm and spun her in a slow circle.
"How do you get more gorgeous every single time I see you?" He whistled as he stared at her, making her laugh. "I could make you a whole lot less single tonight." His sparkly hazel eyes darted to Bobby and away.
A white-hot dart of outrage shot through him. Nivaan's usual flirtiness with Lili was more irritating than ever. "Nivaan, you couldn't handle that girl on your best day," he said, keeping his voice light.
"Oh, I know, but can you imagine how much fun I'd have trying?"
"Okay, okay." Dean pulled Lili into a hug, glaring at Nivaan over her head. "Save the charm for someone foolish enough to fall for it."
Dean was his own personal angel. Bobby tried to shake off his agitation and walked around joking and laughing. Jonno beat him on the back, like he had food lodged in his throat. "Bobber dobber! Ya look good, you geriatric fuck."
"I feel good. That hip replacement was a success," Bobby said, in his best wheezing old man voice.
"Oi," Maitland hollered, putting a stop to all conversation. "The plodders are here. Where's the fuckin' scran, Louis?"
"It's coming!" Louis emerged from the enclosed kitchen carrying a tray. He sat it on the table and rushed back to the kitchen. Dean shook his head and followed him, returning with two more trays in his big hands. Soon the table nearly sagged with the weight of all the food on it.
"Whoa, Lil come look!" He rushed over and stared at the spread. Bubble and Squeak cakes, Scotch eggs, tiny chicken and leek pot pies, sausage rolls. "It's a feast!"
Maitland didn't bother waiting. She leaned across him and grabbed a scotch egg, shoving the whole thing in her mouth. "Sorry mate. I'm fucking starvin'," she grumbled around it.
Louis came back out with a pink tray. "Okay, these are for Fen and Nivaan. I've got spicy vegan haggis sausage rolls, mushroom and chestnut pate on oatcakes, and vegan macaroni cheese bites."
"Are these GMO free?" Fen asked, her brow crinkled as if she already anticipated the answer being no.
"They sure are," Louis said. "I got it all at the farmers market. It's fresh and mostly free of human intervention."
"Even the so–"
"Yes." Louis smiled brightly. "Even the soy."
Fen looked annoyed for just a moment, but then the look was gone, replaced by a sweet smile. "Dhanya vad," she said, before taking an oatcake.
Lili adjusted the slightly askew pile of paper plates on the table. "It all looks fantastic, but the vegan dishes look especially amazing, Louis."
"Here." Nivaan held a vegan sausage roll toward Lili. "I'll sacrifice one for you. But just one." He winked at her.
Bobby turned toward the table, hoping that no one could see the stiffness in his shoulders. He took a breath through his nose and picked at the trays, taking a little of everything. Suddenly, a warm body pressed against his back. Lili's perfume wrapped around him like a lover's arms as she rested her chin on his shoulder.
He breathed in the scent, his annoyance evaporating. "Mmm, how am I supposed to enjoy my bubble and squeak when you're making me think about sexy cookies?" he murmured.
Her soft laugh tickled his ear. "Sorry, but I have to take advantage of these boots. They're the only reason I'm tall enough to do this."
"Does this make you my shoulder angel or my shoulder devil?" he asked.
"I'd say devil, but you hardly need help causing birthday mayhem."
"What? I'm the very picture of chill. No mayhem to be found."
"Really?" She held something up beside him. A large swinging gift bag with cupcakes all over it.
He gasped and dropped his plate onto the table. "Mine!" he shouted as he yanked the gift bag from her hands.
Her laugh chased away the sound of the rainstorm outside. "Wait, you can't open it yet, you muppet!"
"Yes I can! It's my birthday!" He took off running. She raced after him as he sprinted around the flat, dodging friends and furniture while he riffled through the gifts. "What's this one? Oooh, what's this one?" He pulled a lumpy wrapped thing out and paused to stare at it a little too long. Lili pounced on him. He screamed high and shrill as they tumbled to the floor, the bag sliding away from them.
She scrambled for it and he grabbed her hips, pulling her backward. "Mine, mine mine," he chanted as he basically laid on top of her back, forcing her to the floor while he snatched it up and rolled off her.
"Yesssssss! Birthday man is victori–" his words were cut off as Isla threw herself on his abdomen.
"Birfday man!" she shrieked with laughter as every ounce of air fled his body in a great whoosh.
Lili couldn't stop laughing beside him. "Oh my god. Yes, the very picture of chill."
"Can't talk," he wheezed. "Toddler broke me." Louis raced over and grabbed Isla, giving him back his oxygen,
"Oh my god," Maitland said. "That was fucking hilarious." She poked Fenella, whose mouth was screwed into a tight little knot that didn't loosen at her words.
"Lili, you should have been a rugby player," Jonno said.
"Professional wrestler." Bobby sat up, rubbing the hip that broke his fall. "She's like Ric Flair, but hot. Well. Hotter."
"I'll take that compliment," she said as she sat up, pulling her sweater down over her midsection.
He grabbed the bag and pulled it close, just in case she got up to any funny business. "Where the hell were you hiding this?"
"I dropped it off to Louis when I arrived this morning. You have no self-control when it comes to gifts."
"You sneaky coo." He shuffled to his feet and then grabbed her hand, helping her up.
"After all that we should get to see what's in the bag," Nivaan said.
He pumped his fist. "Aye, we should." He grabbed the lumpy one from the bag. "Can I open this one now?"
"No," Lili said.
"But..." he pulled a different one out. "Can I open this little one?" He widened his eyes, making a sad Puss-In-Boots face at her.
She gave an exasperated sigh. "You're worse than a five-year-old sometimes."
He kept the face going, widening his eyes even more, while shaking the little gift at her. He even channelled his inner Isla, sticking out his bottom lip and quivering it.
"Oh my god, fine, open it, you baby."
"Yaldi!" He tore into the pretty, meticulously wrapped thing. It was a bright purple sash. He held it up and read it aloud. "'Birthday King.' Yessssss." He threw it over his head and struck a pose. "How do I look?"
"Like pure royalty," she said.
He gave her an elaborate bow before reaching back into the bag and pulling out the lumpy one again. "Now this?"
She shook her head laughing. "I give up. Go for it."
He tore into it and screamed like a child as he pulled out the metal, slightly bent but no less regal crown that had large, matching purple gems on it.
"A crown for his birthday highness," she said.
He affixed it jauntily on top of his locs. "I might never take this off."
"I figured."
He strutted around the room. "The king demands sustenance. And heed this warning. Not laughing at the royal puns is treason."
"We're all off to the fuckin' dungeons then," Maitland muttered.
Louis brought Bobby the plate he'd abandoned, and Lili rushed to the kitchen and back. "Here's your other gift, your highness." She handed him a hollowed-out pineapple with a paper umbrella sticking out of it, and a giant straw that had various fruits skewered on it. "It's a pineapple sangria mocktail," she said. "No alcohol."
He took a sip of the sparkling fruit drink. "Your king is pleased, Lady Lili."
"I regret that crown already," she said, her smile belying her words. She led him to the couch and plopped down, patting the seat beside her. She grabbed Louis's tablet from the coffee table.
"Want to talk about your royal throne, your highness?" she asked.
He shook his head, the crown jiggling. "I appreciate the gesture, but a sofa really is an expensive gift. I was mostly joking about the five gifts. Everything you got me already is perfect."
"Think of this as being entirely selfish." She poked at the screen, looking through the couches on some fancy website. "My bum has plenty of padding and it's still getting sore sitting on the floor with you."
He laughed. "I can't argue with that complaint."
"Alright, what about this one?" She pointed at a simple grey couch that was nothing but rectangles. Dull ones. "It'll look so nice in your flat," she continued. "Think about how comfy it'll be to watch films on."
"Lil if we're getting a couch, I want one that's not boring."
"It's not boring! It's very nice. Good quality. I bet it's comfortable too."
"Borrrrrrring," he said. "For that price, it should be very interesting."
"Well it's not Ikea. It's meant to be durable, not–"
"Ooh, is Ikea an option?" He quickly found the website and began scrolling through the couches.
Her laugh chimed like bells. "You just want a cheap couch so you can jump on it without feeling guilty."
"Exactly!
"I want you to have something special," she said. "Not that cheap, boxy stuff."
"Aye, and it'll be special because it came from you." He quickly pointed at a vintage-esque, rust-orange, velvet couch. "Look at that one! Neither boxy nor boring."
She studied it, while he studied her. "It's like you. Soft. Curvy." He paused. "Fancy legs." Her snickering laugh rolled inside of him. "This is more fun than those other ones. This is a couch we can play on."
"I do love to play," she said.
He leaned toward her and wriggled his eyebrows. "Don't I know it."
Their eyes locked and his breath caught at the flash of heat in her gaze. But her brow furrowed, and the look was gone. She glanced toward the table where everyone had congregated. That's when he realised how heavy the silence was. His friends were staring at them and not bothering to hide it.
"Ahem." He cleared his throat. "The king is getting a sofa!"
"About fuckin' time," Maitland said. "My arse thanks you, Lili."
"How... domestic," Fenella said. Bitterness hung in the air and before Bobby could think of some way to address it, there was a knock at the door.
Everyone looked at each other. "Who could that be?" Louis whispered.
Dean shrugged. After a moment, he ambled to the door and cracked it open, keeping his body in the way of anyone seeing Lili. "Can I help you?" he said gently.
A satiny, familiar voice came from the other side. "Hi! I'm Samantha. I'm here for Bobby's party. Fenella invited me."
Somehow, the silence thickened even further. Bobby caught Fen's eyes, but she just gave a serene shrug.
Dean glanced back, clearly unsure what to do. Everyone knew that strangers weren't allowed at their get-togethers with Lili.
No one said a word. Lili looked as lost as everyone else and offered no direction. Dean's manners won out, and he stood back. "Um, yeah. Come in."
Samantha strolled into the room, her honey blonde waves flattened by the rain. Dean wordlessly took her coat and the gift bag she held. She straightened the colourful boho top that stretched over her abundant cleavage and cast a smile around. That's when the silence seemed to register to her. "Oh no, did I intrude or something?" she asked, wide blue eyes concerned.
"Um, no, no!" His own manners taking over, Bobby rushed forward and gave her a hug. "It's nice to see you! Fen just forgot to tell us that someone else was coming."
"I'm sorry about that. I swear I wasn't crashing..."
He shook off his shock. "Nothing to be sorry about. Let me introduce you to everyone." He walked her around the room. As they went along, she hugged everyone as though they were long lost friends. She even charmed Maitland a bit, which was a feat. His friend preened as Samantha complimented her blue faux hawk.
The girl really was a sweetheart.
Dread filled him as he realised he was out of other people to introduce her to. So he turned and gestured toward Lili. "Samantha, this is Lili."
A current ran through the air as everyone waited for Samantha's reaction. "Wow, you're stunning," she crowed. "Are you a model like Bobby?"
Lili's laugh punctured the syrupy thick air. "No, but I'm flattered, like. I should ask the same about you."
Samantha smiled wide, struck a pose, and dramatically flipped her wet hair off her shoulder. "Look at us. We'd put him out of work!"
Isla, clearly tired of attention not being on her, stomped over and stared up at Lili. "Widdy, come play with my stuffies!"
"In a mo, muñequita. This is Samantha. Can you say hello?"
Isla turned and eyed the new girl. "I'm Isla. You come play with my stuffies too!"
Samantha's smile was bright and amused. "I would love to do that."
The three-year-old grabbed both of the girls' hands and led them to her room.
The minute they disappeared down the hall, everyone descended on Fenella.
"What were you thinking?" Louis hissed.
"This is Fen," Maitland whispered. "She's got nothing in her fucking head but weed and wheatgrass smoothies."
Fen eyed everyone. "Why are you all radiating such negative energy?" She nibbled another oatcake. "I invited her because she likes Bobby and I'm sure he likes her too."
He sighed. "I do like her. As a friend."
"It hardly matters whether he likes her at all," Nivaan said. "Lili asked us to–"
"Despite what she may think," Fen said, cutting him off. "Lili is not the only soul to be considered in this universe. I saw Samantha yesterday and her aura was the exact same shade of yellow as Bobby's. So bright. And–" She took a serene breath as though recalling an experience of great magnitude. "It called to me. Today is about Bobby. He deserves to be in the company of someone who radiates the same joyful light, don't you think?"
"It's not that we mind Samantha," Dean said slowly. "She seems nice enough, but Lili is our friend, and we want to protect her privacy from the press, because that's important to her. We promised that no one unknown would be here."
Fen tilted her head and gave Dean an angelic smile. "Of course I thought of our precious, private Lili. We wouldn't want the world to discover the shameful fact that she spends time with the most wonderful lad on the planet."
Bobby shifted "It's not about that, it's–"
"Samantha is a nature spirit," Fen interjected, while serenely rearranging her patchwork skirt over her bony knees. "She doesn't even own a television. I know for a fact that she's never heard of Love Island. I've done no harm."
For several minutes, the room was full of whisper-yelling as everyone tried to make Fen see to reason, but she refused to indulge their ire. "I hear your hearts," she said. "But I cannot help that the universe willed this."
"Okay," Jonno said, holding up his stubby hands. "So this is a bit of a cluster fuck. But maybe it's for the best." He turned to Bobby. "Samantha is a fucking smokeshow and you needed to make a move ages ago. If you're not careful, someone else is gonna snatch her up." He gave a lascivious grin. "And by someone, I mean me."
"Go ahead and snatch her up," Bobby hissed. "Other than friendship, I don't feel any type of way about her." He turned to Fen. "No matter how much everyone keeps insisting that I do." He ran a shaking hand through his locs and stepped back, needing space from Fen's smug, placid expression.
Turning on his heel, he made his way to Isla's room. Fen knew how much fame had cost Lili after the show. They all knew about the harassment and the aggressive photographers and the relentless pursuit of her friends and coworkers.
Sometimes he wished he could invite more people to these things, but every person who knew about their friendship was another who could give Lili away to the press, upending her life all over again. And no matter how much she cared about him–and he knew she did–she was frightened of being at the centre of that maelstrom again.
Dread roiled in his gut. He'd never given much thought to what she'd do if they were publicly revealed to be friends. Because it never occurred to him that any of his pals would dismiss her boundaries like that.
He peered into Isla's little yellow bedroom. Lili and Samantha were sitting on the floor laughing as Isla put on a play with her stuffies.
"How did the turtle get to the bakery?" Samantha asked.
Isla shook a green dinosaur at her. "He wode the t-ex."
"Makes perfect sense," Lili said, a tiny smile playing at the edges of her lush mouth. "Don't you think?"
Samantha nodded sincerely. "Oh yes, it all makes sense now."
"Excellent play, missy moo," Lili said. She clapped her hands and Samantha did the same.
It was so strange. Like two worlds colliding. His flirtation with Samantha was platonic. He was no flirtier with her than he was with anyone else. He enjoyed her company, but that was it. Maybe in another life, they could have been good together. She was kind and funny. Generous, thoughtful, and gorgeous. Jonno was right about that. She was beautiful by just about anyone's estimation. But he just didn't feel that way about her.
"Play over!" Isla tossed aside the stuffed animals and then peeked at Lili,who simply glanced down at the toys and back at the toddler. Sighing dramatically, Isla swept up all her stuffies and threw them in the toy box.
It was one of hundreds of sweet little interactions between Lili and Isla that made his heart feel like it was full of prismatic light. He leaned his head on the door jam and let his ire at Fen melt away.
Lili turned and saw him. "Hey."
"Hey." He studied her. She didn't look angry or upset. Her expression was carefully neutral. Experience had taught him that this meant she was feeling something. He just didn't know what it was.
Isla tugged at Lili's leg and shifted from foot to foot.
"Uh oh, do you need to use the potty?" Lili asked.
Isla's brows drew together in a way that suggested they might be too late for the potty, but she nodded, so Lili grabbed her little hand. "Sorry, I'll be right back!" She took off toward the bathroom.
Samantha stood up. "Wow, she's really good with kids."
Even though it had nothing to do with him, he felt a rush of pride for Lili. "Yeah, she's great."
"I love your crown and sash. They're so cute."
"Thanks." They stood awkwardly for a moment. He hated being lost for words. "Are you hungry?" he asked.
"I could eat," she chirped.
He gestured for her to follow him as he left the bedroom. "Louis made enough food for the entire neighbourhood." He gestured to the food trays. "Those are the vegan ones. We haven't even put a dent in any of it, so it would be an act of kindness to help us eat it up. Otherwise Louis will be sad."
She grabbed a plate. "Ooh, In the spirit of vegan altruism, I'll do my best."
"That's all we ask."
After she picked out a plateful of food, she took a bite of the vegan macaroni and cheese bite and nodded in approval. "Dean was right to marry Louis."
Bobby took another little bubble and squeak cake. "He really was."
"Fenella says matchmaking is your superpower and you paired them up."
"I did!" He grinned as he prepared to tell his favourite story. "Dean was on holiday and he was at a pub. I met him, we started chatting, because it's not like either of us were watching the footy. Anyway it only took a pint for me to realise how perfect he was for Louis. So I stepped outside, called Lou, and told him to get his arse to the pub because his soulmate was waiting to meet him." He smiled. "The minute they saw each other, there it was."
She tilted her head. "There what was?"
"The spark. That something that just connects two souls. It was like they'd known each other forever. I left the pub and they didn't even notice." He smiled. "When you meet the person that's perfect for you, you just know."
"Yeah." She gave him a sweet smile and held his gaze.
Oh fek. He cleared his throat. "Samantha, I–"
"Unca Bobs, I pooped in the potty!" Isla shouted as she rushed him.
Relieved to not have to shoot Samantha down, he bent and picked Isla up. "You used the potty? You are a big bubble now!"
"I am!" she crowed.
"She even washed her hands without being told," Lili said, trailing behind. Her voice was unusually flat.
Samantha stared between them and smiled brightly. "Well, I'm gonna go mingle with everyone." She sauntered over to Nivaan and Maitland, taking her jiggly glory with her.
He shifted Isla to his other arm and looked at Lili.. "Are you okay?".
She nodded quickly. Too quickly.
Before he could press her, Isla squished his face between her tiny hands and he proceeded to make ugly faces at her while she giggled and made Lili choose her favourite.
"Definitely the one with one eye closed and you smushing his nose up so he looked like a piggy."
Isla made him recreate the look several times, before her eyes began to droop and she yawned right in his face.
"I think someone is tapping out," he said quietly.
Isla shook her head in the negative even as she rested it on his shoulder. "No' tired."
He held her, rocking gently and it only took a minute before she was asleep. Lili gestured for Louis who looked at his sleepy child like she hung the moon. He took her from Bobby. "I'm gonna put her to bed."
It wasn't long before he returned. "Alright, she's asleep and I turned on the sound machine so she can't hear us having fun without her."
Jonno gave a whoop. "Bring on the real booze!"
"Fuckin' aye," Maitland said.
"I live for my darling girl, but..." Louis paused. "It's time to get mad wae it!"
"Oh god, I love all of you," Samantha said.
For a while, the party was in full swing. Jonno and Louis were going hard on bottles of lager, and Fenella seemed content to match them bottle for bottle, except in her case, it was non-GMO blueberry basil hard kombucha. Nivaan, Samantha, and Dean had wandered out onto the tiny balcony. Bobby had no doubt that they'd eventually return giggling, red-eyed, and higher than the Isle of Skye.
Everyone else decided to play a rather cutthroat game of gin rummy, followed by numerous attempts to get through a single round of Jenga, but almost no one was steady enough for it. Bobby contentedly drank his no-booze pineapple drink and laughed like a hyena at his idiot friends. Lili sat on one side of him, a glass of sweet white wine with strawberries floating in it, in her hand. She was frowning and staring into the glass.
"Everything alright, Lil?" he asked.
"Hmm?" She turned and settled her wide, dark eyes on him.
"My mum would say that you were away with the faeries."
"Oh, yeah, sorry." She took a gulp of wine.
"It's alright," he said. "It's got to be hard for you to stop yourself from fantasising about me in nothing but this crown."
She coughed as she choked on her wine and her cheeks broiled a deep, rich magenta. "Oh my god! I was not doing that!"
"But now you are." He smirked at her.
"Oh my god, shut the fuck up," Maitland said. Everyone's gaze shot to her, and she shrugged. "Wasn't talking to you lot. Fen's back on her relationship shite again."
Everyone groaned. Fenella had been his friend for many years and when she was just high–which was most of the time–she was fairly easy-going. But when she was drunk, her strong, patchouli-scented opinions about love and intimacy would always come bobbing to the surface.
And she'd already made her way through at least seven hard kombuchas.
"The truth is difficult for some minds," Fen said. "As I was saying, love is an energy. A cosmic blessing, that we should cherish, not hoard." She flipped her blonde locs off her shoulder. "I experience falling in love all the time. Twice this week."
Maitland snorted. "That's not love, that's fucking."
Fenella took a gulp of her drink. "The two are intrinsically tied. It's connection. There is nothing more loving than the act of opening yourself up spiritually to others. In that way, you get to experience falling in love every single time you meet someone who speaks to your soul. Little falls. All the time."
"Only you would recommend micro-dosing love," Louis said.
Jonno burped loudly. "Aye, I agree with Fen. We should all open ourselves up spiritually!" He glanced at Lili and gave her an oily grin. "Lili, you up for it?"
Lili raised an eyebrow. "Not in a thousand years, Jonno."
"Yes!" Jonno pumped his fist in the air. "I'm wearing you down. Last time it was a million."
Everyone giggled, but Fenella glared at Lili and huffed. "That's not what I mean! It's not just running out and hook up with whoever is nearby. It's about making a soul connection and then honouring it with your body." She took another drink. "Like me and Bobby used to do."
His heart stuttered. A long time ago, he and Fen had been friends with benefits. Everyone in the room knew about it. Everyone except Lili.
"Um, Fen..." he wasn't sure exactly what to say. "I don't think that's something I–"
"What? It's true. I'm not ashamed. We honoured that feeling many times. In the cafe. In my car. That one time in Maitland's bathroom."
"Was that my 26th birthday?" Maitland asked. "I fucking knew it! I knew you pigs had been up to something!"
He glanced over at Lili, but she studied her long, dark fingernails and didn't look up. He felt her stillness like a heavy coat that he desperately wanted to remove.
"Hey, I'm not ashamed," he said. "Well, I am about Maitland's bathroom. But all of that was a long time ago. Years in fact. I don't do casual stuff anymore. Now, who wants to play–"
"That's what I'm saying!" Fenella said. He should have known she wouldn't let it go. Once she got onto a drunken tangent, she was like a dog with a bone. "It's been years for you, and it's not healthy for you. To replenish your brightest energies you should be making those beautiful connections and experiencing those little falls. Instead you're denying this crucial part of the human experience just to... to punish yourself." Her gaze flickered to Lili and away.
Maitland rolled her eyes. "Look, if you want to slap your fud on Bobby again, just say so. Don't make it a whole crusade for free love."
"Well," Louis drawled, his tongue clearly loosened with booze. "I mean I fundamentally disagree with almost everything Fen ever says, but she's not wrong about one thing. Bobby, you really should be out there, having... experiences. Of some kind. You don't date. You don't hook up. It's weird for you."
Oh fek. This again. It was bad enough having this biweekly conversation with friends and family, he didn't want to get into it in front of Lili as well. She was looking at him now, with curious eyes and it was his turn to stare at his hands. "I um, I'm a busy guy and I currently do not have time for new experiences. I promise, they're on my to-do list, just not for this week. Maybe next! Who knows?" He gave them all a sunny smile. "Anyway I think we should try Jenga again!"
He could barely bring himself to look at Lili. He never talked about his love life, or lack thereof with her. What would she think, would it upset her? Would she be indifferent? He wasn't sure which one would bother him more.
"I think it's time to talk about this," Fen said.
"Fen, In my hand is your business." He held up a fist and swished it around as if doing a magic trick. "Let's see how much of my love life is in there with it." He spread his hand wide and gasped in dramatic surprise. "Aye, would you look at that? None of it."
Maitland snerked, but everyone else stayed silent.
"It is my business. I'm your friend. You're only upset because you didn't want Lili to know about it. Which only gives credence to what I'm saying."
"And what are you saying? That I need to have some hookups? As if I haven't had enough for three lifetimes before now?"
"No." Fen slammed her bottle on the coffee table. "I know your soul. I've been connected to it in one way or another for nearly a decade. You have so much room inside for real connections, like with Samantha." She flung her hand toward the door to the balcony, where Samantha, Dean, and Nivaan were smoking. "You even have room for relationships if you're into that sort of thing," she continued. "But the channel that your heart energy should be radiating from is blocked and we all know who is blocking it." She glared at Lili and then back at him. "Bobby, you're a passionate person and you shouldn't be dousing your inner fire with karmic self-masochism in the name of someone who doesn't even care what it's costing you!"
Fen never raised her voice. In all the years he'd known her, it had never happened. Even at her most histrionic she was soft-spoken. Unease sat like rocks in his belly. She wouldn't be this intense if there wasn't something to it, would she?He looked over at Lili's stricken face and the question left his head. No. No. Fen was hurting Lili with this shite, and he couldn't stand to see her hurting.
"Wheesht," he snapped.
Fen gave him a patronising smile that set his teeth on edge. Had she always looked at him like that? "I'm just saying–"
"I said wheesht. You're done talking." Her eyes widened and immediately pooled with tears. But for the first time, he wasn't moved by them. He'd put aside his own feelings for hers over and over again, but he'd be damned if he'd put her feelings above Lili's. "I defend you, Fen. Always have. Even when you've been a terrible friend. But this is too far. First, it's pure jobby. I'm not punishing myself or repaying some kind of stupid karmic debt. There's no guilt or shame here. I give Lili my time because I want to. And she takes it, because she wants to. And none of it is your damned business, anyway." He took a shaky breath. "I love you Fen, I truly do. But if you can't respect my friendship with Lili or my dating choices, then jog on. No one is keeping you here."
"Bobby, don't." Lili's voice was strained and she avoided his eyes. "Just... it's fine. I–" She clumsily shot to her feet, her usual grace nowhere to be found, as she hurried from the room.
"Shite." He gave Fen a hard look before getting up and rushing down the long hallway. At the far end, Lili swerved into Louis and Dean's guest room and shut the door.
He stood outside of it, ignoring the whispered hisses from his friends, and pressed his forehead to the cool wood, letting his rage ebb away. He could keep being angry later. Right now, Lili was hurting on the other side of the door and he wasn't going to let her hurt alone.
He knocked gently. "I'm coming in, Lil." She didn't respond, but he opened the door anyway, and stepped inside.
The only light was the soft glow of a vintage lamp on the dresser. Lili's back was to him. She stood at the window, staring out at the storm that had been going in fits and starts all day, but was now unleashing a torrent. Her fingers traced the rough lines of rain gliding down the glass. Despite the thunder that followed the flashes of lightning, it felt like an eternity of silence, before she sniffled. "She's right." Her voice was so soft he wasn't even sure the words were for him.
"She isn't." He crossed the room and gently tugged her hand from the glass, placing it over his heart. "I swear, she isn't."
She looked at the floor. "I'm hurting you."
He pressed her hand tighter to his chest. "You're not hurting me. Fen doesn't know what she's talking about. She gets pure glaikit when she has too many hard kombuchas." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tried to pull her closer.
Her body stiffened and she shook her head, not accepting the hug he offered. A tear, matching the path of the rain, traced down her cheek. "You can't see it. You always want to believe the best about everyone, but maybe you shouldn't." She swallowed. "You're my best friend and I—I don't want to be what's hurting you."
"I know. You're not." He cupped her cheek and swept her tears away with his thumb. A soft sigh escaped her, and she leaned into his hand.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so lost right now."
"You're not lost." He tugged her close and this time, she let him pull her into his arms. "You're exactly where you're supposed to be. Don't listen to her. I'm in the best place I've ever been, and I wouldn't be this happy if you weren't so much a part of it. A part of me."
She melted into him, resting her head on his shoulder, the soft rush of her breath warming his neck. As much as he hated silence, he waited, knowing that speaking wasn't what she needed right then. So, he held her gently and said nothing.
After a minute, her arms tightened around his middle. "I do care what this is costing you. But I've been selfish, like. The thought of not having you..." her voice crackled with emotion. "I've invaded your life and made myself a home that I had no right to have. Maybe I shouldn't come around so much, maybe—"
"Don't even say that." His heart hammered hard enough to drown out the rain. He leaned back to look at her. "Never say that."
She looked up at him, eyes shimmering with a question, one he'd seen before, and it broke his heart that after all this time, she still wasn't sure of the answer.
"I want you in my life, Lil. Never, ever doubt how much I want you." The words spilled out and he knew he should finish the sentence. In my life. But he couldn't put that addendum to it. Not when the truth was weighing him down.
She studied him in that way she only did when she was uncertain, as if assessing every blink, every twitch, and all the breaths between. He stroked the soft skin of her jaw and tried to tell her everything with his eyes. Everything he was afraid to say. To want.
Everything he was afraid to do.
Her hands moved to the back of his neck. He shivered at the warmth seeping into him beneath her palm. Her fingers teased the tiny, tight curls at his hairline that couldn't be contained by his locs.
"I want you too." The words were soft. Tentative and searching.
The stirring in his chest that he'd done his best to ignore during their friendship, began to swirl. The vivid gold and red leaves spinning wildly on the wind of the storm outside–and inside.
They crashed together in a kiss like lightning and thunder defying the speed of light. It was all expanding heat and deafening sound waves. He threaded his hands into her curls, gripping them as he devoured her mouth. Nothing about it was gentle or tentative. There was no confusion. He wasn't conflicted.
He wanted her. Always had. Always would.
Stripped of hesitation, it was just them. Tongues. Teeth scraping lips. Desperate, soft sounds. Her hands in his locs. His trekking down her back, cupping her arse, pulling her closer. The violent ferocity of the cyclone inside of him spun his head until he was no longer in Louis's bedroom. He was in a hot-as-baws villa. Desperate. Wanting more with her.
Always more with her.
He spun them both around and pushed her back onto the bed. Crawling on top of her, he kissed her until his cock strained his breeks and her legs wound around him, pulling him even closer.
Those sounds she made as he ground against her centre. Fuck. She pushed beneath his top, her touch impatient. Hands gripping at the muscles of his back, long nails scraping over his heated skin, digging into him as he shoved his hand beneath her soft sweater, and cupped a lace covered breast.
He paused, the feel of the fabric familiar. Lili's lip twitched, confirming his suspicion. He pulled the sweater up and exposed the yellow bra he'd chosen.
"Your king is very pleased," he murmured. His hand trailed over the lace until he found her taut nipple and rolled it between his fingers. She gasped and arched toward him, whimpering as he tugged on it in just the way he knew she liked.
A thrill sharper than the nails on his back, shot through him. Finally. Finally. All those friendly touches, the glancing, flirty moments in the past, had been nothing but crumbs. This wanting, this hunger, these honest hands finally admitting what maybe they both wanted for so long, was the feast. And like the eager starving thing he was, there could be no room for restraint. For taking it slow.
Not when every morsel he'd ever wanted to taste was right in front of him.
As though she felt the same, her mouth trailed down his jaw to his neck, nipping at the spot where his pulse hammered for no one but her. He gasped as the bite turned to desperate, rough suction. There was relief in the sting. Of knowing he no longer had to fantasise. To pretend. Because she wanted him.
She wanted him.
Between their bodies, he stroked her through her jeans, his thumb making circles precisely where he was going to devour her. Moaning, she unfastened his trousers. Her heated chocolate eyes burned into his as she gripped the slide on the zipper and yanked it down. God yes. God fucking yes.
A knock on the door jolted them both. "Hey guys? Is everything alright?"
Louis's still-sloshed voice drowned the flickering flames of heat licking Bobby's skin. He wanted to scream the words fuck aff at the top of his lungs. Instead, he leaned his forehead on Lili's shoulder, his breath ragged. "Uh, yeah. Aye, everything's alright," he called back. "We'll be out in a minute."
"Okay, well, Fen left and I was worried about you two. Um, Dean, Nivaan, and Samantha are coming back in, and I've got a movie queued up. We'll wait for you guys." There was a pause as if Louis wanted to stay something else, but after a moment his footsteps retreated down the hall.
For a moment, they clung to one another, as though they were at the centre of a maelstrom, terrified of the wind threatening to tear them apart.
Finally, they both gave shuddering sighs and shuffled off the bed. He straightened her sweater, and fluffed up her mashed curls. Laughing quietly, she put his locs in order, flipping them all in the same direction.
"Well I guess I can stop blaming the producers for always interrupting us in the villa," he said. "Clearly it's just the fucking universe doing it."
She snickered as she fastened his breeks and stepped back. Her amused expression wavered, and he could see the tension behind the mask. All the worry and fear she had about what they'd just done.
Grabbing her hand, he pulled her toward him and kissed her. Not like before. It wasn't about unrestrained desire. This was gentle and painfully sweet. He wanted to infuse every bit of what he felt in it, so she couldn't confuse what had happened with just desire. It was that. But it was so much more.
He didn't stop until her body melted, relaxing into his. They pressed their foreheads together. "We'll figure out the details later," he whispered, threading his fingers through hers. "But for right now, I just want to keep sneaking away so I can kiss you all night."
She stilled, her gaze breaking from his to the floor between their feet. In the agonising silence, he took a shuddering breath. The leaves, so bright and beautiful, began to fade, losing their colour as they fell. She wanted him, he knew she did.
Maybe wanting wasn't enough.
After a moment, she looked up at him. Slowly, her smile bloomed, and the leaves in his chest exploded with fresh colour as they shot back into the storm, spinning and dancing with each blossom that unfurled from her lips.
"I'd like that," she said.
NOTE FROM THE WRITER
YO. ABOUT. FUCKING. TIME.
No, she's not done yet. But she's gettin' close.
If you're still reading after all this time, thank you so much! You have no idea how much it means to me. As always, if you like what I do, leave me kudos and a comment! Or throw me a tweet @muggedoff4life. Validation is my love language 💖
Oh, and for funsies, check out TSIME's playlist. It's usually updated with each chapter.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0FMiCOObUf4c7mRUBDqj6M?si=kj29rh_3SemnxAOD5S2lZg