Y/N'S POV ::
Been a week already. A week and more if I count since the day she has been ignoring me. I stare at my phone screen or more like the texts I've sent Sam. I don't remember her answering me with only one word before. What the hell is wrong? Where did I go wrong? I wonder and wonder but I can't grasp the idea. She never behaved like this with me before.
I let out a sigh as I parked my car at the parking lot of our university and stepped out. "Are we back to I-don't -want-to-cooperate-with-Park Jimin phase?" I look up from my phone and see Jimin standing in front of me. In the chaos of my periods and Sam ignoring me I totally forgot about him and the project. But I'll never admit it to him. "How can I? When you literally roam around me like a snitchy devil on my left shoulder?" I questioned as he tilted his head. "Quite amusing. I've heard devils are sexy." He smirks as he leans closer to my face and I'm sure my cheeks are getting red.
My stupid skin.
"You're obsessed with yourself." I muttered before stepping away as he let out a sigh. "Am I?" He shrugs. "Look i know all about the project and everything. We will start working on it. Soon." I try to walk away but his voice beats me to it. "I want to finish it more than soon, little Siren." I turn around to face him. "I want to get rid of it." He muttered as I scoffed. "Just a project?" I raised my eyebrow as he opens his mouth to speak but shuts again. "If you think that you'll get rid of me, then oh Jimin! You're wrong!" I exclaimed before leaving. I can feel his eyes digging holes in my back but whatever.
I walk in the hallway and suddenly my gaze stops at the certain someone.
Maybe, I really should talk to her.
I nod to myself and walk towards Sam. I can't give up on my only friend without even trying. We are old enough. A talk can solve. It can't be that big, right?
"Hey! Sam!" I exclaimed while hoping onto her as she heaves out a sigh. "Hi, y/n." She mumbled as I blinked. "Is something wrong?" I questioned as we both keep walking. "No. Why would you ask?" She questioned back as I shook my head. We kept walking in silence and I realized that how and when did I reach to the point where I started feeling nervous around her? "Uh... do you wanna hang out after the college? I'd like to...talk." I sighed. "No. I'm busy actually." She denied as I nodded.
"Uhhh.. fine.. then how about this weekend?" I tried again. "I'm still busy, y/n. You can hang out with anyone you want." We reached our locker and started to put our stuff. "Not anyone is you, Sam." I muttered and turned around to face her. "I'm sorry but I really can't hangout. I have lots of things to do." I nod at her.
The entire day just goes by me trying to find out the problem between me and Sam but I can't find anything because there's something she is not sharing with me.
Few days again rolled down and I was really done now. If she do not wants to talk then I will make her talk.
I packed my stuff as the class ended and was about to leave when Jimin stood in my way. "You have to come at my house,this Sunday. And no I'm not hearing anything." I rolled my eyes at that. "Fine. Now get out of my way!" I exclaimed and attempted to walk past him but the guy held my wrist and pulled me back. The sensation of his skin on mine always leaves me breathless. I didn't like the effect he has on me but at the same time, I loved it. He stared in my orbs while I did the same. "What are you doing?" I questioned in a low voice.
I can feel his thumb caressing my wrist in a soft manner. "Stop lurking around people or else, stop wasting my time." I glared at him. All he cares about is the stupid project. His time. His project. His responsibility. Everything about him. I'm sick and tired. I yank my hand away from and give him a pointed stare. "I do know about who deserves my time and me but you... you don't think about anyone else but you." I muttered as he let out a sigh. "You think that lurking around people will get you anywhere?" He questioned as I crossed my arms. "Do you know the difference between you and me?" I stepped closer.
"You care about getting somewhere in your life and I don't. I'll go wherever my stupid life will take and while doing that...I will just enjoy it." I said and pulled away because no way in hell I can handle his closeness. "Now excuse me." I stated and walked away but his words did reach me. "You gotta ask yourself if you actually even feel alive tho. You're just a breathing thing,little Siren." I gulped down the lump forming in my throat and walked away.
I spotted Sam in a cafeteria with others. Sam is busy talking with Lily while Sujin's eyes drops on me as I walk towards them. Michael and Jinyoung are busy bickering about something but they stop the moment I reach at their table. "Hey y/n!" Michael exclaimed but my eyes were fixed on Sam. A cold stare. "I need to talk to you." I stated as she turned around and faced me. "I'm not in a mood,y/n. Later." I scoffed at her words. "I've been hearing that word from three weeks and now I'm so annoyed. You have no idea." I muttered.
"It's not my fault. I don't want-"
"I want to. I said I want to talk you. Whether you like it or not. I really really want to talk to you." I clenched my jaw while staring at her. "Fine! What is it?" Sam asked. I can feel my other friend's eyes at me but I was fixed on Sam today. "Not here." I whispered. "Why not?" Sujin cut in as I passed her a cold glare before turning to face Sam again. "You won't like if I talk here." I muttered and held her hand to drag her with me but suddenly Sam jerked off my hand. "I said I don't want to talk to you!!" She shouted as my eyes widened at her.
"I'm tired of you, y/n! You really are something huh! What do you think about yourself?!" I blinked at her. "What's wrong with you?" I asked as she inhaled a breath. "You. Everything is wrong because of you! I'm tired of having you everywhere with me even if you are not present with me!" I knitted my brows together at that and shook my head. "What?" I asked and tried to step close but she stepped back. "Dont. Don't come any closer!"
"Hey Sam! What's wrong with you?" Jinyoung hissed at her but she pushed him away too. "You all don't know! You might like having her around but I don't!" Her words struck somewhere so deep, I'm sure It's gonna sting forever. "You. You are my biggest problem!" Sam turned to face me again. "Sam. Stop it." Sujin stated but I held my hand. "No,let her talk. I'm all ears, Sam. Tell me whats wrong?" I asked as she scoffed.
"I'm tired of hearing your name everywhere I go! My house! The class! College! Everywhere! Its all about you! Always! Everyone is about you and I'm sick and tired of it!" I just stared at her with nothing. Letting her words hit me over and over again. They felt like a venom but I didn't mind. "Did your mother said something?" I whispered as she shook her head. "If it was only one person then I would've told you but it's not. Everywhere I go, it's you. I'm tired of you, y/n! I don't want to be around you."
I don't want to be around you.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, y/n!" The sixteen year old Sam always said that to me.
"I really hate your mother. Why don't you do something about her?" I once had asked her and she smiled before replying. "As long as I have you,I feel strong. I know you'll protect me." She hugged me and I shook my head.
"If anyone, I only see you as the closest thing to friend." I once told her when she asked why I can't share my secrets with anyone else but her. "Friend? I thought I was your best friend!" Sam snickered as I chuckled.
"I'm never going to leave you." She once said and I believed.
"I want to be that best friend forever thing with you!" Her words and I believed.
"Us forever!" Sam exclaimed and I grimaced. "Eww that sounds like couples!" She hit me while we both laughed.
"Couples are ordinary and temporary thing but friends? They are extraordinary and permanent!" Her words and like I fool I was, I believed.
I believed.
"You don't mean that.." I whispered. My voice just came out as a whisper. "You don't mean anything you said.." I continued while blinking my eyes. Sam looked away while letting out a scoff before setting her eyes back on me. "I mean it. I mean everything I said. Ok I get it that you're used to of getting whatever you want.. but you can't bribe people and their emotions, Kang y/n. I said whatever I felt." She stated as I let out a hum with a nod. "So... you want to end everything between us? Whatever we had?" I asked as she shrugged her shoulders.
I chuckled at her. "You know what.. I don't blame you. It's me I should blame to." I muttered. "I don't want to roam around you, y/n. I have my own life." I nodded at her. "Right. Enjoy your life." I muttered before turning my feets to leave. "Y/n! Wait!" I heard someone. Maybe lily but I didn't look back and suddenly bumped into someone. Looking up I saw Frank who was staring back at Sam. "Wait y/n!" He tried to stop but I backed away. "I think I'd like to be alone for a while. Please." I stammered out as he let out a sigh. I didn't wait for his response and left the cafeteria.
I wasn't crying but my throat hurt because of some odd reason. My eyes were stinging and I'm sure they look red. I didn't cry because Kang Y/n was never allowed to cry. I was built like this. My dad didn't raise a daughter, he raised a emotionless rag doll who wasn't allowed to feel.
But how long?
All of my emotions just metaphors in one thing. Anger. Anger is all I can feel. I walk throughout the campus. Not caring for the people I bumped into.
Ain't gonna let anyone get on my nerves anymore. Nope.
I somehow ended up at the rooftop. The cold air, cold breeze, silence, the emptiness. It feels good. I shut my eyes while letting out a sigh and her words kept repeating in my brain.
She spelled some words and always believed. Guess I shouldn't have. But deep down I know she didn't mean anything.
It's stupid.
You are stupid.
My conscience taunts me and I kick at the patio wall for no reason. I met Sam when we were 15. We became closest thing to best friends at 16. And now we were almost 21. But we never fought before. Never.
My hand itches and slid them inside the pocket of my black shorts as I pull out a small stick. I stare at the toxic stick.
A cigarette.
Its been a while since I've inhaled the toxic air and today I'm painfully in a mood to do so.
Fuck everything and everyone!
JIMIN'S POV ::
I try to concentrate on the class but instead my brain keeps reminding me that y/n's seat is empty. I click my tongue while trying to immersed myself in books but then some voices reach me.
"Did you hear about that?"
"Sam and y/n had a fight in cafeteria."
"Damn, Sam really said few mean things to her."
"But how can she still be ineffective?"
"You bet Kang y/n has a heart!"
"You wouldn't dare to say that in front of her!"
"Hey ! I love my life more!"
"Still tho... Sam really said mean things to her."
Sam and y/n had a fight?
Sam said mean things?
I shake my head. Why would I care? No. It's not like I care but if she stays withing the thoughts of Sam and the fight then she won't be able to focus on anything.
Our project too.
God I do not wish to become someone to get involved with her.
Y/n can't cry. I know that much. She would never cry. She is better than that.
"Isn't it mean to tell your friend that you're sick and tired of them? I feel pity for that baddie!"
I turn around at that voice and stare at the girls. "Can you guys shut up? It's a library." I hissed at them as they nods. I let out a frustrating sigh before getting up from the desk and collecting my stuff.
I need to find her.
Why the fuck?
I try to find throughout the campus but I can't find her. I end up in the hallway where I see her stupid friends but I can't see Sam. "Where is she?" I questioned as their eyes lands on me. "And who you might be referring to?" Michael asked as I let out a sigh. "Y/n. Did you see her? Where is she?" I questioned. "Why do you wanna know? Besides, she said she wants to be alone!" Sujin exclaimed. Yes. Right. Your friend tells you that she wants to be alone and you fucking leave her alone.
Great friends Kang y/n.
"I want to discuss few important things with her. Can you tell me where is she?" I questioned again as they shared looks with each other. "I saw her walking towards the rooftop." Lily said as I nodded. "If you are so desperate to break your bones and get insulted then you must go behind her." Jinyoung commented as I rolled my eyes. "I do know how to handle bratty mouth. So don't worry about me." I said before leaving. It weirded me out when I heard them laughing behind my back but continued walking towards the rooftop. I saw four of them there but Sam and frank weren't present.
I'm panting hard when I finally read the rooftop. My hands on my knees as I breath in and out before my eyes catches the glimpse of a figure sitting in a corner. Her back is facing me but I see the smoke. I knit my brows together as I walked towards her and I instantly let out a cough as the smoke hits me. Y/n turns around and faces me. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She asked while I coughed.
She is smoking?!
"What the fuck are YOU doing?" I questioned back as she rolls her eyes and pulls out the cigarette from her lips with the smoke. I sighed and took a seat beside her on the floor. We both are facing the city in front of us now. "Why are you smoking?" I asked without looking at her. "None of your business." She snaps and it makes me let out an amusing smile. "Do you feel relieved when you smoke?" I asked and she hums. I instantly turn and pull out the cigarette from her lips. Her eyes are wide and before she could shout, I throw the cigarette away. "What the fuck, Park?!"
"A cigarette won't solve your problems. You'll end up creating more if someone catches you smoking here." I muttered as she glared at me. "Thanks for caring so much but I sure as hell can take care of myself!" Y/n exclaimed as I blinked. The woman pulled out more cigarette and put it in between her lips before lighting it up. I shook my head before leaning towards her and grabbing the cigarette packet. My eyes are fixed on her face as my arms brushes against her. "What are you doing?!" She exclaimed while I pulled out one more cigarette stick and put in between my lips. "You smoke?" She asked. "Shut up." I snapped at her.
I instantly held her shoulder and leaned closer as her back got pressed against the wall. Her brown are yet again wide at my actions. "Stay still." I muttered as the cigarette in between our lips touched together. Her already lighten up cigarette was helping mine to light up. "If you enjoy this so much, then let me see what's so special about it, little Siren." I can see her gulp down and she turns the faint red again. We stay like this for a brief moment. With me hovering over her almost until our my cigarette lights up.
We blink at each other before I pull away. She sighed while I take in the first hit of the toxic smoke hitting my lungs. I let out a wheeze and then a loud couch. Y/n's eyes widens and she stampers. "Hey! What happened?!" She exclaimed but I keep coughing.
How the fuck can someone smoke?
I feel as if my lungs are no more. As if my throat is numb or something. Y/n rubs my back. The cigarette long ago forgotten. I wish I could just pretend but my throat really hurts. "W-water.." I stammered and she passes me her water bottle. I gulp down few drops before letting out a sigh. "Why would you do that if it doesn't suit you?!" Y/n snickered as i glared at her. "It can harm you as well. You know? I thought I'll just try like you!" I exclaimed as she rolls her eyes.
"Turns out it doesn't suit you so stop doing whatever you're trying to do." She stated as I stared at her. "Do you snoke often?" I asked and her eyes are on mine again. "Why would you ask?" I held her shoulders and pinned her against the wall at that. "Just answer the damn question." I gritted. "Why do you act like you care?" She hissed while glaring at me. "I do not care. I'm just genuinely curious. Does you father even knows that you smoke? How about he finds out that you do?" I smirked as her pupils started shaking. "The headlines will be like, The only heiress of Kang's was caught up smoking at her university."
"What are you trying to do?" She questioned as I hummed. "That I don't know but if I ever see you smoke again then I'm sure I'm gonna do something very terrible which....won't be in a favor of your father's reputation." Her mouth opened at my words and I smirked before pulling away. "You're ruining your lungs and liver, for what?" I asked as she looked away. I swear, for a moment I thought her mask fell off but she was back at the poker face again.
"You're wasting your time on me,for what? Mr Park?" She crossed her arms against her chest and gave me a pointed stare. I looked at her. The fearless eyes, pointed stare, the brows orbs screaming the confidence and her posture saying that she ain't afraid of anything. But... there's something behind her. Someone behind the person she shows to the world. In reality, Kang Y/n is a hollow creature. Someone who shows the tough but reality is far different.
"Emotions makes you weak, Jimin. Don't let anyone ruin it for you."
"It was all fun till it lasted. People ruins you, Jimin...and I refuse to get ruined."
I shook my head while shutting the voices in my head. Placing my hands inside the pockets of my jeans I blinked before replying. "I do know when I waste my time. For now, I'm not wasting my time. I need you.." her eyes widened at the last words before I continued. "..for the project. Do you think I can afford losing the score? No thank you very much." And she scoffs. "You're really annoying. Do you know that?" She questioned as I nodded. "I do know that. And you know we both lack emotions!" I shrugged as she rolled her eyes.
Y/n let out a sigh before looking at the sky. "I'm not really upset about Sam." She muttered as I nodded. "You're upset about yourself. Right?" And then she is looking back at me while shaking her head. "I don't even know. I'm not upset. I just hate it so much.. No one has ever dared to talk like that with me." I nodded again. "That's because everyone fears the power you hold.. Sam knows everything about you,doesn't she?" Y/n smiles at that while shaking her head. "That's the thing, Jimin. People think they know me when in reality.. they don't.."
They knows the person you show them.
"Anyways, I'm just here to tell you that stop moping for people and definitely do not smoke." I stated and turned around to leave when her voice reached me. "I don't need your sympathy.." I turned to face her again. "You don't deserve a sympathy!" I rolled my eyes and she smiled. "Right.."
"You asked me to teach you how to ride a bike, right?"
Stop it Jimin. What the hell are you doing?
"I did. So? You told me you're not interested." She shrugged as I let out a sigh. "I'll teach you."
Don't you dare.
"What?" She asked. I gulped down the lump forming in my throat. I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it.
I don't.
I really don't.
But...
"Let's go for a ride after the college."
Fuck my life and my mouth and the words I speak and the decisions I make.
-To be continued
A/N :: Y/n's character can get toxic here, sometimes. I'm warning you all beforehand.. In the end it's just all fiction. I'm still trying to show some relationships here..
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