2 days to Christmas
**Sean's POV**
I feel refreshed.
My bruised and battered brain cells are already starting to recuperate and I've not even been here for half a day. That's the kind of reviving effect being around my siblings has on me.
Uni is brutal at the moment and there have been days where I honestly questioned my sanity from back when I decided to aim for a double-major. I was under the naïve impression that it would be easy sailing, considering that achieving my undergraduate's degree didn't really take too much effort.
The past few months have proved me wrong though. I have been pulling all-nighters on a regular basis recently and my batteries are running rather low. The last two exams before Christmas break were the most cruelling of them all, but also the most important ones of this term. I have no idea yet how I did, but I better not have failed. It would crush me because I said goodbye to my social life for almost two weeks to not get distracted from studying.
If my brothers find out, they're going to have a field day with that. They always tease me, calling me a brainiac and Dr. Einstein and such. Only because school has always been easy for me and I never had to put much effort into getting good grades. It just happened and I was obviously grateful for that because it meant that I could focus my energy on other things.
There was plenty of ugly stuff going on outside of school, what with our rather unique – others might call it unfortunate or, depending on their point of view, even fucked up – family history and all the shit fate threw at us along the way. But that is in the past now and I try every day to focus on the present, to look forward to all the hopefully good things the future will still bring.
All of us deserve to have a bright future after what we've been through growing up. Other than the three youngest, every member of this family has experienced stuff that kids and young adults should never have to. We lost people, we saw the ugly side of loved ones and those who were supposed to love us – and some of us had their dreams crushed because of vicious circumstances.
Our greatest achievement today is that we have – so far – successfully managed to protect the little twins and Lily from the dark cloud that has been looming over our family for years. They have no idea about our past and – although they're forced to grow up without the stereotypical mom and dad family – they are not missing out on anything. They are allowed to be kids and enjoy their childhood.
Without pain.
Without fear.
Without heartbreak.
I wish it'll stay that way forever.
Those three are such precious kids, filling the house with their laughter and with this joy of life that is so unique to children their age. It belongs to kids that are privileged enough to grow up in a warm and happy home, feeling safe and protected and loved.
It wasn't always that way for the rest of us.
Jack is one of these examples and that's why it means even more to me when I see him act carefree, too, without looking worried and ensuring that nobody will scold him if he only as much as makes his presence known. It sadly took quite a few years for him to let go of that fear that was ingrained into him from the day he was born.
His mother was not fit for the task of having kids, let alone raising them. Far from it. From what I've been told and what I gathered after he and Will joined us, her neglectfulness squashed any spark of life inside her two little boys before they even had much of a chance to get started in life.
Jack didn't speak to us for months after they came to live with us. It was horrible to see how timid and scared that little five-year old boy acted around us. I wanted nothing more than to shower him with love and kindness, to show him what a wonderful little guy he is, but it was near impossible to break his anxious shell and get through to him.
I like to believe that I played an important part in us eventually being successful in helping him and Will open up to us and regain a certain level of trust in other human beings. Most importantly, trusting their immediate family. With a lot of patience we – all of us still being very young and completely inexperienced when it came to such challenges – managed to show them what it means to be loved and cared for. We taught them that it is more than okay to accept what they're offered. That they deserves it just as much as the rest of us do.
However, it worked a lot better with Jack than with Will.
This specific experience with our two clearly traumatized baby brothers is one of the many reasons why I chose to get a master's degree in psychology and add applied behavior analysis as a second major. The human mind and human behavior in general have always fascinated me. Not only because there is so much to discover in that field, but also because I have seen what horrific impact certain destructive, manipulative or otherwise "negative" behavior can have on people's lives and their minds. Their own, but also the lives and minds of those around them.
And Will remains an ongoing challenge. One that to this day is constantly puzzling me. I have studied behavioral sciences for almost six years now and I still feel utterly helpless at times when it comes to interacting with him. For Alex and Josh, who are trying their best to get through to him on a daily basis and raise him into adulthood without losing him along the way, it is even more difficult.
Although my brothers and I have been through plenty of bad stuff ourselves, growing up in a less than ideal home after our mother died, what we experienced is nothing compared to what Will had to endure during his first seven years in life.
From a very young age, he already more or less single-handedly took care of his little brother, who is barely two years younger than him. From the few bits and pieces I have gathered, on these rare occasions when I managed to get him to open up to me a bit, he was Jack's main caregiver from the time they were about three and five years old.
Before that, there was apparently an elderly neighbor who babysat them when their good-for-nothing mother went out, which was pretty much every day. Then, something must have happened to the old lady because, as Will sketchily remembers it, one day an ambulance came and took her away. They never saw her again after that and it was also the first day when the two little boys were left all by themselves in their mother's run-down apartment.
That day, Will was forced to leave his childhood behind and "grow up".
It still makes me want to vomit just thinking about what they went through as little kids. Yes, I was only eight when my own mother died – and Luke, Sam and Ben were even younger – but we were still an intact family back then and Dad, at least for the first couple of years after our tragic loss, kinda hung in there and tried to hold our family together.
Also, the older three boys did their best to keep things going, even if they were barely teenagers themselves. What helped us a great deal was that we were a big unity, us eight siblings. We could always count on each other to lean on if things got tough.
Will was left with nobody back then. He had to be the shoulder for Jack to lean on. A huge responsibility for anybody, let alone a young kid at the age of five.
So, objectively speaking, it is not really surprising that he is a troubled teen today, despite all the effort we put in to help him recover from his traumatic experiences as a child. Trauma which is so deeply rooted in his subconscious and reflected in his personality that, no matter how hard he might try to counteract it, it still lingers to this day.
As my knowledge grew over the years, I eventually realized that Will has been so deeply hurt in the past that it'd take nothing short of a miracle for him to ever really get over it and move on.
Sienna might have been such a miracle.
She certainly was our miracle, back then, after Mom died.
She was the glue that held the family together. The reality check we needed at times, usually when we were about to drown in self-pity and throw in the towel.
My twin sister always noticed it when someone struggled and pulled them back from the edge before they tumbled into their own personal black hole. It was like she had a sixth sense when it came to her brothers' emotional state.
Sienna was also a constant reminder that, just because things were tough or sad or made us upset, we should make an effort to laugh at silly things and celebrate life at any given opportunity.
The stabbing pain in my heart as these memories resurface almost makes me gasp. Almost.
Because, over the years, I've learned to live with this now familiar pain. I have learned to accept that it will never completely disappear but that it'll always somehow linger in the background, waiting for an opportunity to strike. Most of the time, it comes out of nowhere.
However, I was prepared for this to happen as I did expect it to hit me sometime today. And if not today, then it would have reared its ugly head tomorrow. Or, at the very latest, on Christmas Eve, for sure. In the past nine years, the pain has always come like clockwork during the holidays.
That's because...
The simultaneous sound of a door opening and a not very successful attempt at my name being whispered interrupts my melancholic train of thoughts.
"Sean?" my baby sister asks. "Are you still sleepin'?"
The lisp when she says "still" and "sleeping" is freaking adorable and I know right then that the smile on my face has given me away. Even if I wanted to, I could not pretend to still be asleep.
There goes the peace and quiet of this morning.
But I welcome the distraction, because my thoughts were just about to enter dangerous territory, one that could well have a negative impact on my mood for the rest of today. And the last thing I want is be upset or grumpy, now that I am finally back with my family.
Keeping my eyes closed for now, but with my face turned towards the door, I wonder if Lily has seen my change of expression when I had to bite my lip to not laugh out loud at her cuteness. I assume she did, as she's perceptive like that. A curious little thing who is always on high alert once something has sparked her interest. And it is a safe bet that she's very interested in me right now.
She absolutely loves bothering her poor brothers when they're peacefully asleep and therefore completely oblivious to her presence. I don't think there is anyone in this family who has yet to be on the receiving end of "accidentally" being woken up by her. Accidentally, because she always feigns innocence once you're awake and pretends that this was the last thing on her mind.
Scheming little minx.
Alex always worries that the boys are corrupting her, but in reality she has already been corrupted from a young age. Lily is like a sponge, soaking up anything she's told or witnesses and then she readily and often skillfully applies her newly acquired knowledge and tricks.
When her small hand touches my shoulder and starts shaking it carefully, it is near impossible to keep up the façade of still being in dreamland. But her gentle actions also make me think that maybe she hasn't yet realized that I am, indeed, already awake. I decide to wait just for the right moment to let her know.
Messing with my baby siblings is something I am a pro at. I usually miss it greatly when I'm in faraway Chicago, chasing my future career. I won't deny that Lily certainly picked up some of her skills from me. It also makes me kinda proud to have found such a promising student in her. But whenever she uses those skills to my disadvantage, I regret my contribution in corrupting our baby sister.
From behind my closed eyelids, I now notice how something moves in front of my face because it gets a tiny bit darker. I picture Lily leaning over me with one of her scrutinizing expressions, taking in every line, every dark shadow, every individual stubble or any irregularity on my face. I feel the corners of my lips twitch again when warm air hits my skin as she breathes right at me.
Surely, she'll figure out any second now that I am just pretending. I am definitely not that good of an actor and, unfortunately, I can't control my facial features as well as the likes of Alex or Jordan.
When there is a tickling sensation in my nose, I decide that this is the moment of truth before I have to sneeze. Without warning, my eyelids fly open and, as I expected, I stare straight into two curious, bright green orbs. Our noses are almost touching because Lily's leaning in so closely, but a split second later, her face disappears and a loud shriek fills the air.
I let out a heartfelt laugh at her funny reaction only for her small fist to hit me on the chest.
"You scared me!" she complains loudly.
Lily's face comes back into my line of vision and the way she attempts to glare at me causes another deep laugh to bubble from my throat.
"Don't laugh, you meanie!" she scolds me.
Standing next to the bed, her arms now crossed in front of her chest and she narrows her eyes at me. My instinct is to reach out and grab her and give her a massive cuddle to cure her of the temporary irritation, but I decide to wait and see what she's going to do next.
Looking right back at her with the most neutral expression I manage, I take in her appearance and quickly notice that she's already dressed for the day. Lily is wearing a red and white knitted dress with a wintry theme on it. This seems strangely out of place in northern California where there is no snow at all.
But who am I to point that out?
Her hair is neatly put into two braids, held together with shiny green ribbons tied at the end. I also detect a couple of sparkly hair clips on one side of her head, holding some otherwise lose strands of hair back. All in all, Lily looks like she is just about to go to a Christmas party. Where she would be the star of the event, no question about that.
I smile at the adorable sight in front of me but then another stab right in my heart cuts these happy emotions short as my brain fills with images from more than a decade ago.
Sienna loved Christmas.
She is the sole reason why this specific holiday even still plays a part in this family. After Mom's death, most of us didn't feel like celebrating Christmas, least of all our father. In the first year after she had died, he didn't care what day of the week it was, let alone if there was a holiday coming up. Luke was too small to know about these festivities and my older brothers made it clear that they didn't want any part of it.
I, myself, was very much on the fence about what to do. Part of me couldn't imagine having a Christmas without Mom there.
Who would bake Christmas treats with us?
Who would turn the volume on the radio up and dance around the living room to cheesy Christmas pop songs?
Who would decorate the whole house until there were lights and glitter everywhere?
Who would try to damage our sense of smell forever because there were cinnamon and vanilla scented candles everywhere?
Who would physically push Dad out of the house to buy a tree with all of us kids in tow on the last day before Christmas?
Sienna did all of these things, and so much more.
When all of us were either miserable (Dad), undecided (me), ignorant (Luke), confused (Sam and Ben) or loudly protesting against celebrating Christmas (Alex and the older twins), Sienna decided to take charge and she singlehandedly organized the first Christmas after our mother's death.
At only eight years old, but with the determination of a grownup woman, my twin sister somehow managed to find enough outside support from friends and neighbors to get us a tree, buy some presents for all of us and put together an impressively lavish Christmas lunch.
And most importantly, she successfully persuaded all of us to take part in the festivities.
Her excitement and the sheer amount of Christmas spirit she spread throughout the house were rather infectious. To this day, I am convinced that if she hadn't put her heart and soul into saving this holiday for us, we would have grown up turning into a bunch of hopeless grinches who never again celebrated Christmas.
I admit, it was an incredible struggle to keep it all up, after Sienna was so forcefully ripped from us. But after two years of half-heartedly putting on some kind of celebration in order to honor our sister's legacy, Jack and Will's arrival, combined with gaining three more baby siblings, helped us reinforce the efforts to keeping up the traditions.
The two older boys needed as much stability and fun as we could possibly provide and they certainly deserved to be spoiled. Also, in hindsight, there is no denying that the bright, shiny eyes of the little twins when they first saw a Christmas tree was the main reason that won over even the most cynical brothers.
"You look very pretty, sweetheart. Are you going out?" I curiously ask Lily, swallowing the lump in my throat that all these memories caused.
It is crazy how much she reminds me of the twin sister I lost. Lily might like Christmas simply because every kid loves the excitement of it all, since they'll receive lots of presents and such. But something tells me that the joy that Christmas elicits from her is deeply rooted. Without knowing it, Lily shares this passion with her unknown big sister.
Unknown, because we have not told her or the four youngest boys about Sienna.
I don't think it was a conscious decision, at least I don't remember us ever really talking about it and deciding to keep her a secret from them. But with the move to the other side of the country and us leaving as much of our past behind as we possibly could, somehow, Sienna got left behind, too.
It so happened that we didn't even put up any photos of her when we moved into this new house. And since we never really talked about her, either, because it was too painful for some of us if she was mentioned, the memories of her slowly but gradually slipped into the background.
And when our five littlest siblings joined, which was probably the best distraction for all of us at that time, things changed so drastically that there was simply not enough space to keep her memory alive in this house.
Though, Sienna is never far from my thoughts.
But I don't share them with anybody in my family. On very rare occasions, I talk to Alex about her, or to Luke, who lost his second mother figure when she died. But the hurt and – rather irritatingly – the guilt that always shows on my oldest brother's face when we do talk about her is almost unbearable. So, I try not to bring her up too often with him. Or with anyone else, really.
With Josh, it's a big no go to mention her. He took it the hardest when Sienna died. He is still seeing a therapist because of it. I don't want to open any old wounds, that's why I never talk to him about her. Although I believe – no, I know, due to my training – that it would help him heal if he'd only allow her memories to become part of his past and his current life.
Jordan, who wasn't that close to her, was too busy dealing with his own demons after his football injury. He and my younger brothers somehow managed to move on eventually, which I guess is what our sister would have wanted.
Not that I didn't move on. I believe I did, I really do. I am not stuck in the past and I am also not desperately clinging on to all these memories. But I still try to give them the space they deserve. After all, we spent the first fifteen years of our lives together.
That's why her favorite holiday is the most difficult time of the year for me. And having my adorable baby sister standing in front of me in all her Christmas-get-up-glory makes it twice as hard to not get too melancholic.
"We're going to buy a Christmas tree!" Lily announces, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet.
The previous scowl has disappeared from her face and got replaced by a wide grin.
"Ah, I should've known that, silly me," I smile and shake my head at my own apparent forgetfulness. "I see, you're dressed for the occasion."
She does a little twirl for me to show off her dress before focusing back on me.
"I came to get you up so we can finally go. You're very lazy," she tells me matter-of-factly.
"What time is it?"
"11:30am! That's what the clock said when I left the kitchen because Jordan told me to get your big, lazy bum out of bed."
I am shocked to hear that it is almost lunchtime. I don't remember when I last had a chance to sleep in like this. No wonder I feel so refreshed.
"Now, I'm sure he didn't say that," I act offended.
Lily leans in closer and puts on a very serious expression.
"He said it worse, but Alex scolded him and said I'm not allowed to repeat what he said to you," she tells me, her voice having adopted a conspiratorial tone.
I can easily imagine what exactly J told her. No surprise that our oldest brother wasn't impressed. He still thinks that he can keep the kids from being exposed to bad language. Which is the most futile effort in all his parenting, obviously.
"I think I'll stay in bed for a bit longer," I muse, just to see her reaction.
I have no intentions to miss out on buying that tree. It is a family tradition, after all.
Stretching my arms above my head, I let out a loud groan to emphasize that I am not yet ready to get up.
"You're not allowed to," Lily states firmly.
"Says who?"
"Me! This is my room and... and if you're not getting up right now, Mister, I'm s'rowing you out!"
That's when I remember that I am, indeed, in her bedroom. I have been so focused on the little Christmas angel in front of me that I completely overlooked the childish bedlinens, the light purple walls and the various stuffed animals staring at me from all over the room.
Yesterday, after their rather entertaining nativity play at school, we went out for dinner at a local pizza place. It didn't take me long to figure out that something wasn't quite right with my baby sister as she was surprisingly quiet. Normally, she's a ball of energy when we're spending time as a family.
At first, I assumed it was the aftermath of her and Noah getting lost the day before. Jack had filled me in on that latest family drama and told me how clingy the kids were afterwards and that Lily initially didn't even want to do the play since she struggled to be away from Alex and Jordan. I actually think that it was a two-way-street and neither of them was bothered by her clinginess.
I briefly talked to Josh about it and it was easy to detect a remainder of the panic he must have felt when they found that the kids were missing. This must have triggered horrendous memories of the day Sienna went missing. And she never returned.
Ever since then, my older brothers have grown very overprotective and they hate to let any of their younger siblings out of their sight, even the teens. I think Luke is still struggling to fight for some freedom although he is 19 now. I remember only too well how unhappy Alex was when I told him that I would move to Chicago. It took a few rounds of serious talks until I managed to convince him that I can look after myself.
Not that I can blame him for being slightly paranoid, what with the threats that are still out there. Although, I genuinely believe that that's all they are – empty threats.
Nothing is going to happen to any of us. We've been flying under the radar for a while now and it has worked out well so far. And we still have quite a few years until things may potentially get a bit dicey again. But if all goes as planned, those threats might be permanently quenched, too, and we can relax a bit more.
Anyway, back to Lily's strange behavior. I found out the real reason behind her foul mood right before our pizzas arrived.
Will had not shown up and she was incredibly upset about that.
Apparently, he had promised her to be there to watch the play, but being the troublemaker he is, he stayed away and didn't even bother to join us for dinner. Alex, naturally, was furious and I think he tried to call him every five minutes, although it quickly became clear that the kid had turned off his phone. Our oldest brother didn't care and claimed that it would hopefully drive home the message and make him have a really bad conscience once he sees all the missed calls and texts.
I very much doubt that this has any kind of lasting effect on Will though.
Lily remained inconsolable all evening. Alternating between the two of us, she either attached herself to Jordan's side or clung to me until bedtime. And because our residential ladies' man had a date lined up, I offered to tuck her in and ended up staying until she fell asleep. With the result, as I now realize, that exhaustion clearly overcame me and I must have dozed off next to her.
"Hmmm... and how are you going to do that?" I question, wiggling my eyebrows.
"Like this."
Lily grabs my arm and starts pulling, but I don't move even an inch. A teasing grin slips onto my face which only seems to fuel her determination. She digs her heels into the floor and literally puts her whole weight into it. Still, it is to no avail. The kid barely weighs anything and even if I am nowhere near as big as some of my brothers, there is no way she can drag a grown-up man off a bed.
I am just about to turn the tables and pull her off her feet when the little twins come running into the bedroom. They're yelling something about being late and that everybody is waiting for us to buy the biggest and bestest tree ever. They stop in their tracks halfway between the doorway and the bed, eye the situation for a moment and then, without exchanging a word and without any encouragement from Lily, they jump into action.
A few seconds later, I know that I am losing this battle.
Aidan grabs my other arm and Noah, the little ninja, jumps onto the bed behind me, letting out an ear-piercing battle cry before he starts pushing me towards the edge of the bed. The whole scene makes me laugh out loud, which is my downfall. Any kind of resistance or strength immediately leaves my body when the first few laughs bubble up my throat and from then on, I am the easiest target.
Like a sack of potatoes, I tumble off the bed, almost landing on Aid and Lily but they manage to get out of the way just in time.
Of course, instead of leaving me to lick my wounds because I was overpowered by three babies, they add insult to injury and jump right on top me, literally knocking the remaining air out of my lungs. We end up wrestling on the floor of the confined space that is Lily's small bedroom. It seems to be a miracle that none of us bang our heads or limbs against any furniture or corners.
At one point, I manage to catch Lily's waist with one hand and I deliver a few well aimed tickles, causing her to let out loud shrieks as she attempts to get out of my reach. The twins, however, are near impossible to get rid of. Noah is straddling my legs while Aidan is trying to wrestle one of my arms behind my back like he has probably seen on TV when the police arrest the bad guys.
You better not have shown them how to do this, Alex!
While I struggle to get out of Aidan's grip, Lily has recovered from the tickle attack and is back in the middle of our wrestling match, sitting on my torso, trying to help Aidan restrain me.
"Can you shut the hell up?" an angry voice suddenly sounds, causing us all to stop fighting.
My head swivels – or tries to, because I am in a bit of an awkward position – towards the door only to find Will standing there with his arms crossed, glaring daggers at the four of us.
"Don't just stand there. Help us!" Aidan grunts from somewhere behind me as he continues to lean heavily against my back.
My arm is in a surprisingly vice-like grip and it slowly starts to hurt. If I make a wrong move, he will likely pull it out of its socket, so I wisely decide to keep still for now.
I turn a bit more, hoping to get a better look at Will. The first thing I notice is that he looks like he didn't sleep a wink last night. I have no idea when he got home, but I imagine that Alex was up and waiting for him to return, even if it was in the early morning. Will either got an earful then or he has already received a lecture from our oldest brother this morning. Either way, it will not have been pleasant.
"Why would I do that? You fuckin' twerps woke me up with your screaming and yellin'." Will shrugs and remains in his spot, now leaning against the doorframe with his ankles crossed.
He appears to have no care in the world, but his eyes tell another story. They are hooded and even from this distance I can tell that there is confusion and worry there. But also suppressed anger. I think I'll need to stay back and let the others find a tree without me. Talking to my younger brother seems to be more important right now.
I finally manage to catch Will's eye and convey an important message. His expression remains unimpressed, but I see him give me the tiniest of winks, signaling understanding. Then, in a flash, he covers the distance between us and in a surprising display of strength, wraps an arm around Lily's waist from behind and grabs Noah's hoodie by the collar, successfully pulling both of them off of me.
Being rid of their excess weight, I make quick work of overpowering my other little brother. Taking advantage of those many years of experience play-wrestling with my siblings, it is an easy feat to turn the tables and pin the 9-year-old to the floor. To anyone who didn't see how they made me the victim of their vicious attack earlier, it may seem unfair, but I know the little guy can take it. And it's not like I am hurting him. I am just holding him still to deliver my message of victory.
"That's what you get if you take on people almost three times your age, Aid-y. Next time, think before you make yourself believe that you stand a chance against me," I say in a playfully threatening tone.
I can tell that this doesn't impress him at all. I might be able to scare Lily, and most possibly Noah, but Aidan is very obviously not afraid of me. I am well aware that can't pull off the angry big brother impression as well as some of the others, but at least I tried.
Reaching out, I mess up his hair – Did he put gel in it or why is it so sticky? – before I let him go. Aidan nimbly jumps to his feet and rushes towards his twin, who is still struggling to free himself from Will's iron grip. He releases him when Aidan is within reach and then unceremoniously pushes them out into the hallway.
"Scoot, you two morons," Will orders.
He then places Lily, who has been dangling from his arm like a ragdoll, back on her feet. I watch as he opens his mouth to say something to her, too, but her next action immediately shuts him up.
She glares up at him and throws him the angriest look I have ever seen from her. Then she kicks him in the shin and runs off.
Will hisses in pain but manages to suppress a howl. This must have hurt, because she was already wearing her boots.
Somebody is clearly still upset.
"Fuckin' hell," he mutters, rubbing his shin as I walk up to him.
"You kinda deserved that, ya know?"
I don't feel the need to sugar coat this for him. There is no question that I'm worried about him. But it was his own choice to let his younger siblings down, so he has to deal with the consequences.
"Whatever," comes Will's standard reply.
"That was an asshole move, not showing up last night. – Where were you?"
My 14-year-old brother groans and puts his hand up with his palm out, facing me.
"I already got my ears talked off, so save the lecture. I'm not in the mood."
"I can imagine. And I don't want to lecture you, it's not my place. But maybe you'd want to join me when I go to Starbucks for a late breakfast? My treat," I offer.
I hold my breath as he seems to consider that. We haven't been in contact as often as I would have liked lately. Uni has been all-consuming and I feel like I neglected my family quite a bit. Now, I am hoping to renew that fragile but existent bond with my most complex sibling. Something tells me that I might be able to help, even if he will deny that there is anything he needs help with.
It's always the same with Will. If you're too blatantly offering advice or simply an open ear for him to talk, he will immediately decline. So I tend to go for a more subtle approach to get him to eventually open up and tell me about what is going on with him. Like, offering to spend time as brothers. With no obligations or a lingering "threat" to have a heart-to-heart. That would only scare him off and damage our already frail relationship.
"Naw, I'm good," he eventually turns me down, shaking his head. "Gotta go pick out a tree."
I eye him suspiciously because that is the last thing I expected from him. For the past few years, Will has always tried to get out of joining this family outing. I didn't think this year would be any different and I can't quite shake the feeling that this is his excuse to get out of talking to me.
Nice try, baby bro, but I won't let up so easily.
"Didn't think that's your thing anymore?" I prompt, just to see how he'll argue his way out of it.
He shrugs.
"Got some groveling to do, I guess?"
I have to smile at that. Clearly, Lily being upset is not going down too well with him.
"Right. Then what are ya waiting for?" I shove him out of the room towards the stairs. "Tell them I'll be there in three minutes, okay?"
Will nods and makes his way downstairs. I run a hand through my hair and turn to go into the bathroom to get ready. Since I fell asleep last night still wearing my jeans and shirt, I won't bother changing completely, meaning that I'll be ready in no time.
My thoughts are still on my fourth youngest brother as I brush my teeth, trying to formulate a plan to coax him into spending time with me.
You are not going to get out of this, Will.
My patience is endless when it comes to your well-being.
A/N - Extra long chapter, because when writing this, I realized that we've never before been „inside Sean's head" since he's not with them in the mountains in Winter Tales. An interesting experience for me, I admit. Still love him to bits though. What do you think? Do we like his POV? ;-).
One more chapter to go (maybe, possibly, perhaps two...) and then back to the drama of Rekindling.