"After everything, there is something I want you to do for me." Kia's voice was soft as she spoke, but Natsu understood her as she spoke into his chest while they walked toward the guild hall.
"What is it?"
"I left some letters and my journal."
He probably could have found them sooner, but it was almost a month before Natsu could bring himself to go through Kia's things. But that was how he found himself walking into the guild hall, the small bundle of envelopes held tightly in hand.
All of the repairs to the guild had been done and life had more or less returned to normal. There were times that he found himself thinking that the Mythics were out on a mission until his gaze would find Verani or Amber around town or the guild hall and everything would come crashing down again.
Natsu forced a deep breath as he lifted his hand, reading the name on the first envelope.
||~x~||
Wendy had hardly moved since jumping into her bed earlier that afternoon. And even though she wasn't alone, the room remained silent. As much as Carla wanted to find the words to comfort the Sky Dragon Slayer, she knew Wendy needed to mourn.
The bluenette hugged her pillow, her eyes stinging from how long she had been crying without making a sound. She was still staring at the letter tightly gripped between her fingers.
To Wendy was neatly scrawled on the outside. She traced over the words slowly with her thumb.
Wendy had no idea what to expect when Natsu had handed her the letter at the guild hall. He had shown up much later than usual, but it was to be expected with what day it was. The redness in his eyes had not gone unnoticed.
But now, the only thing she could do was imagine the Phoenix Slayer there. Calming running her hand up and down Wendy's back like she would when she was little, her actually reciting the words she had written.
Dear Wendy,
I honestly can't believe how much you've grown, even in just the last year. What happened to that little crybaby that was always telling me when any of the boys were out of line? I almost can't believe how well you've mastered your Dragon Force. It's not that I didn't think you could do it, I knew you would, but I wasn't sure I would get to see it. And I'm so happy that I got the chance to witness it. I just wish that it wasn't during a war, but I can't do anything to stop it now. You've grown into such a compassionate and strong young woman and I know that you still have so much more that you are going to accomplish. I just wish I could be there to continue watching you blossom. So if this letter made it to you, I'm so sorry, Wendy.
You were so excited in the infirmary about remembering how we used to all train together. I even promised you that we could see how much things had changed by getting everyone together again. I shouldn't have promised you something I knew wouldn't get an opportunity to happen, but I think a part of me hoped we would all get that chance.
But no matter what happens: keep growing. You are surrounded by the strongest and most loving people. I may be gone, but you will always have Fairy Tail. So keep going and keep growing. And don't let my brother talk you into too many crazy ideas and jobs. If Carla tells him no, proceed with caution.
I have so much more that I could be around for and that I wanted to get to teach you, but I know you're in good hands. Stay strong and don't let the boys drive you crazy.
Love,
Kia
||~x~||
The boys had not expected the mail from Fairy Tail, especially for Natsu to have Mest delivery it to them personally and quickly. They decided it was best to open it away from the rest of the guild and they were happy that they did.
The air throughout Sting's office felt so thick it clung to their skin. They had both been hoping to reconnect with the Phoenix Slayer after getting most of their memories back over the last year, and this letter just showed that she had wanted that too. She had never stopped thinking about them or worrying about them, even when they were absolute jerks to the other people that she loved and cared about.
"Once I send out the next round of request forms, I'm going to go visit."
"Yeah," Rogue agreed, even when neither of them raised their gaze from the guild master's desk.
Dear Sting & Rogue,
I'm sorry that I didn't write you separate letters, but you've always come as a pair. Even when you were little, I would refer to you as "the boys" because you were a packaged deal.
Since I know that Natsu, Wendy, and Gajeel have started remembering, I assume you have as well. I'm sure you have questions and I'm sorry I'm no longer around to answer them, but I can tell you that I'm proud of you two.
You both took the long road, but it helped you grow into strong and caring young men. You have been able to reshape Sabertooth into a family and not just a wizarding guild. You've both done so much and I know there is still so much greatness awaiting you.
Keep leading them in the light as the wonderful guidemaster you are, Sting. Rogue, don't let him get his head stuck too high in the clouds.
(P.S.: Still can't get over how much older you both are compared to Wendy now...)
||~x~||
The old Gajeel would have asked him when he became such a crybaby, but he was proud of how far he had come from that punk who only lived for himself. He had hoped that Kia was proud of him too, even if their conversation during the war on Tenrou gave him hope that she was. She had always been like a big sister to him, especially when she would appear out of nowhere to knock his and Salamander's heads together for scaring the younger Dragon Slayers.
He looked down over Magnolia from his perk near the farmhouse guild hall.
Dear Gajeel,
I know I haven't been around you as much, but it wouldn't have felt right not writing to you, especially since you've started remembering life before the Eclipse Gate. But you haven't really needed me around have you? I know I used to give Metalicana crap for his stiff parenting, but you turned out just fine. All of you did.
I don't know if you realize how happy I was when I heard you had joined Fairy Tail, even if I worried for the guild's safety having you and Natsu under the same roof. Memories or not, I knew your instincts would make you start butting heads again.
But what I wanted to say was I'm sorry for just disappearing and not helping you fill in the holes in your memory. I know it's bothering the crap out of you, but time should fix it. I know you're strong and stubborn enough.
Speaking of stubborn, will you please get over everything that's happened and ask Levy out?! It's almost painful watching the two of you. I would bet that when Lily isn't finding it amusing he's pulling out his own fur.
I know that you're smarter than most people give you credit for and you have an enormous heart, those along with that iron skull of yours will get you through the war and its aftermath.
I have faith in you, Gajeel. I always have and I always will.
Always,
Kia
He thought about how he had technically already confessed to Levy like she wanted. And how the Phoenix Slayer had laughed in his face over how it had actually happened.
"When I was getting pulled into that death trap, I blurted some things out to Levy."
It didn't take her two full seconds to understand where this conversation was going. Before she could stop herself, Kia was laughing.
"Oi! What's so funny?!"
"Sorry." She waved, "but I can't help myself. When I imagine it in my head, it played out like a dying breath confession from a theatre drama."
He grumbled under his breath, "It kinda was."
"I will, Kia." He told the wind, "I wouldn't endanger that trust you left me with."
||~x~||
Fairy Tail seemed to be just as rowdy as ever. Master Makarov sat in his new perch next to the bar, looking out over his children. A few of them were in the process of blowing up some balloons for the celebration they were going to have later that evening. Even if she was gone, the guild had been determined to still honor Kia on her birthday.
He took a deep drink of his ale, fully aware of the letter that still sat beside him on the bar. He would wait till later in that evening's festivities to pass along her words for the guild. But for now, he wouldn't interrupt their somber cheer.
Dear Master,
Thank you for all the wonderful years I got to have in Fairy Tail. You have had such a pivotal role for both Natsu and myself. When you found us out in the woods and offered us a home, you gave us more than that. You gave us an ever expanding family and an anchor in this time for me. Even when I told you the truth about what I was, you didn't push me away. It didn't change who I was to you and I can never thank you enough.
From this letter and all the others that Natsu and Happy have given out, I'm sure you've figured out that I knew how this would end. But it's okay. I know that you will look after everyone unless you did something reckless to protect them all. Just let everyone who didn't get a letter know that I still care about them all, but I only have so much time to get these written.
Thank you again for everything. I will be watching over you all from wherever I end up.
The Phoenix of Fairy Tail,
Kia Dragneel
||~x~||
The wind blew softly from the cliff, down over the surface of Lake Scilliora. Another gust rustled the fur on his coat, trying to tickle his neck, but Laxus didn't react. His mind was replaying the last conversation he'd had with the Phoenix Slayer right before the war had started. When she had stepped away from the ripples that she had created by telling the entire guild about her past.
He had asked her about E.N.D. and she had called himself out on his health right where he was standing now.
Something between a sigh and a chuckle passed his lips, "You read me like a book and I missed what you were planning."
Dear Laxus,
Not sure if you were expecting a letter, but surprise! Probably not the right mood to start this with, I know. But after all the letters that I've been writing, I think I might finally be starting to lose it.
But I am writing this for a few reasons. Firstly, if Master did something reckless to protect everyone in exchange for himself, please read the letter I left for him. There is something in it for the guild and I wasn't sure if Verani would be able to handle it right away. I shouldn't expect you to take up that mantle, but I know that I can trust you with it, Laxus.
The other thing was to apologize. I feel like I partially lied to you when I agreed to thinking about talking to you when the war was over. I knew this was how things were going to happen for me. To be honest, I think it's part of the reason why V kept losing her temper earlier today. She's never been okay with how I had everything planned out. I shouldn't have given you the impression that I would think about it when there was nothing to think about, but I also know that I would do it again. If enough of you had figured out the truth, you would have probably tried to stop me long enough to find a different solution. I knew there wouldn't be enough time.
Lastly, please continue to keep Natsu's secret. I'm not sure if Zeref is going to run his mouth during the war, but I am intending to explain everything to him in his letter. Thank you for keeping it to yourself so far and I know you will in the future. As I already said, I trust you.
Kia Dragneel
She had read every one like a book, even going as far as predicting that Master might get himself killed saving the rest of the guild. She knew so much about all of them, but they hadn't understood what she had gone through until that day. It didn't change who she was, but it put her strength and kindness/compassion into a new light.
With his letter tucked away safely in his inner coat pocket, he finally turned away from the water. But he couldn't help but wonder how things would be different if he had said everything he had originally intended to that day. Or if she had really placed her trust in the right person.
||~x~||
"For her, it didn't feel like nearly enough. There was no talking her out of it, Gray. I could see it in her eyes."
Gray leaned against the edge of the bridge, remembering that night Kia had found him lost in his thoughts, tearing himself apart inside over Ultear. How she pulled him forward so he could hide in her shoulder for that moment he needed to finish working through all of those feelings.
And he had found himself standing on this bridge working through very similar feelings again.
Dear Gray,
I'm not even sure if you're going to open this, but I'm going to write it anyway. The first thing I want to say is: it's okay if you hate me. There was so much that I kept from all of you and I know you had just been through a lot when you figured out what I am. The demons from the books of Zeref have caused you so much pain and heartache. I understand. But no matter what happens, I don't blame you for anything you've done or said. If you think otherwise, then I forgive you.
No matter what I still see you as a little brother, the only one I acquired in my years at Fairy Tail. I used to think I wouldn't give that title to anyone else after those four hooligans and Wendy, but you were the exception. But I guess it couldn't be helped with how you and Natsu have acted. Always at each other's throats but just as ready to have each other's backs. Don't ever let that change. He isn't responsible for anything I am or I've done, so don't blame him or take any of this out on him. He's just Natsu and that's all he can be.
The other thing I wanted to say was to not lose sight of who you are for revenge. I have no room to talk about fulfilling promises or last wishes for your father, but when everything is said and done, don't let it change you. You are an amazing person on your own, and we both know a certain water mage who would agree. And even if you don't want to listen to me, for the love of Fairy Tail take the girl on a date! It won't hurt you to try. I haven't been around too much since she joined, but even I can see that you care for her too.
Just trust me this time, it will be good for the both of you.
Beyond all of that, I started this letter so I could say what I needed you to know. Don't let any of this change who you are.
Sincerely,
Kia
He was so grateful that he got the chance to apologize to her before she went off after Acnologia. He should have seen through her back at the guild hall when she said anyone unhappy about her origins could slay her when the war was over. If he had looked past his own anger and feelings of betrayal, he would have seen that she was just baiting him to survive the war.
He did find comfort in knowing that he did reach that conclusion that Natsu could only be Natsu on his own. The flame brain was like a brother to him, though he wouldn't say those words out loud, but he hadn't been the only one Gray viewed as a fire blooded sibling.
He leaned over, resting his forehead against his crossed wrists. It helped him hide away for that moment he needed, but it was nowhere near as comforting as when Kia had done it before.
||~x~||
Even if they shared the house together, it felt empty without the third owner. And for whatever reason, Verani and Amber had decided to read through Kia's letter in her room.
The silence between the two of them did nothing to fill that void as they laid on the pinkette's bed, staring up at the ceiling. Holding each other's hand, some tears quietly trekked down their cheeks as the letter rested on the pillow between them.
Dear Verani & Amber,
There is so much that I want and need to say to the both of you, but I also know that it would be too much to put in two letters by morning, so I hope you guys don't mind sharing. I figured you'd be together anyway.
I don't think it would surprise either of you when I say I had always intended to do this alone. Looking at everything now, I don't think I would have been strong enough. If you hadn't cornered me on that mission about my nightmares, no one would have known the truth except for Anna. And even after learning everything I had been trying to bury, you guys didn't run. You became my biggest supporters and jumped headfirst into all of the craziness right beside me. I know I never could have done this without you both, so thank you.
Even with all that said, I'm still sorry I dragged you into this mess. Though the front row seats were informative, they were not the best seats in the house. You guys devoted everything to helping me keep my promises and protect everyone, but that never really left any time for you. Being on the road constantly, you never thought about what you wanted or ever pondered if you might have deeper feelings for anyone. I know you can understand what I mean after you've had the last year to take a step back. Hold on to what you two learned about yourselves and others in that time. That will be your anchor from now on. What you experienced and how you grew on your own will help you going forward. And that is what you both need to do, keep moving. Rekindle old friendships, find love, start families (but please don't name any kids after me), hell stick around the guild long enough to take the S-class trial next time. There has to be at least one S-class wizard in the Mythics or people might stop taking you guys seriously.
But I really mean it, thank you both for sticking by my side, no matter how painful it is now. We've made it through the whirlwind and now you guys can do whatever you want with your futures.
Stay strong and keep kicking ass,
Kia, The Phoenix
||~x~||
Even as the air was starting to get chiller, the roof tiles against his back were warm from the afternoon sun. Natsu watched the clouds roll past as the letter tucked into his scarf continued to flutter against his cheek with the breeze.
Dear Natsu,
At this point I'm beginning to feel like a broken record, but I knew I had to save your letter for last. There was no way I would have it in me to write anymore after saying goodbye to you.
But I am so sorry, Natsu. I should have sat down with you and explained everything to your face. You deserve that. And it may not mean anything, but I have my reasons for not telling you the full truth until now.
Before I drop it all in your lap, I want you to know that you will forever be Natsu Dragneel, son of Igneel, Fire Dragon Slayer, Fairy Tail mage, and my brother. I don't want you to let anything you read here make you question who or what you are. Just because you now know something does not change how things have always been while it already existed.
I'm going to be adding to the story that I told the guild today. The first important thing is that you are my actual brother, though long ago I was the younger sibling. With this you can guess, Zeref's full name is Zeref Dragneel. You were the family member that he was trying to bring back. Obviously he succeeded in bringing us both back even if I was just the trial run.
This leads me to the biggest piece of information that I have spent the last fifteen years of my life debating if I was ever going to tell you. Dad gave me sole responsibility of whether you should know before I placed his spirit inside of you. But you have a right to know and knowing our dear big brother, he'll run his mouth. So I will tell you what the Book of E.N.D. is, or I guess why it is so important to us.
E.N.D. stands for Etherious Natsu Dragneel.
Just like he brought me back with that kind of power, that was how he brought you back too. I would never see you any differently, but I didn't want you to deal with the inner turmoil of who or what you are like I used to.
He remembered how Kia had mentioned her own trial when they spoke inside his mind after his seeds had crumbled. In that moment, he hadn't had the time to reflect on what she may have gone through when her demon seed had started colliding with her flame. He couldn't help but wonder who appeared to help her along her own journey through her memories.
Dad used to tell me that it didn't matter what I was, the thing that mattered was who I was and who I would continue to be. Who I would strive to be. And I'm passing these words onto you.
The only thing that matters is who you decide to be.
And the only answer I can see to that question is Natsu. Natsu Dragneel, son of Igneel, Fire Dragon Slayer, and Fairy Tail mage. This is why Dad gave me a similar mantra, so I could get through the debate between my what and my who.
If everything has gone how I planned, we won the war. Once I rewrite your book so Zeref can't take you with him, I won't be holding back anymore. The last two steps in my plan are to defeat Zeref and then Acnologia.
I guess this leads me into my last secret: to disconnect myself from Zeref and my book I had to connect myself to someone else. There are more restrictions involved with messing with your own book, and since we hadn't been in this time for long I went for the only other being I figured to be strong enough to still be around: Acnologia.
He had no way of knowing then, but Natsu couldn't help but replay that final punch in his head. Brimming with the power of all seven dragon slayers, he had taken down Acnologia, not knowing that it would mean the end of his sister as well. He knew that it had to be done, but some part of him hurt, knowing that he was responsible.
But that was what Kia was fighting for. That was how she planned things to go, even if she had hoped that he wouldn't have to be a part of it all.
I know you understand what that means for me. And if you are reading this, well I'm sorry Natsu. I always knew from that day forward that this was how things would end, but I know you'll be okay.
I always worried about leaving you alone one day, but you aren't really alone. You have surrounded yourself with so many strong and wonderfully kind people that will help you. They have shown this plenty when I would disappear.
And they all had. Even after finding out that he was supposed to be E.N.D., they hadn't turned their backs on him (though him and Gray were a little shaky there for a bit).
Thinking of them now, he figured Erza was downstairs barking orders about where the decorations should be hung. Gray had skulked off somewhere after Natsu had handed him his letter. Carla had taken Wendy home to Fairy Hills, knowing that the Sky Dragon Slayer would likely need privacy. That was also why Natsu had sent Happy home with Lucy. He knew that the blonde would prefer to be home while reading her letter, but he didn't want her to fully be alone either, and he wasn't the person to lean on for this.
And I know it hurts now, but don't wallow in my death. Don't pretend that I'm just off on another long job somewhere. You have to let me go and that's okay too. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, but I would rather you be smiling. I will always be watching over you however I can. You know how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You were the ray of warm sunshine that pulled me from my darkness. You and Dad taught me about family and love and what it meant to fight to protect what you care about. You are the reason I grew into a better person, why I could call myself a person. After the day you called me sis for the first time, I decided to become a sister you could be proud of, and I hope I have.
I love you. And I am so sorry that I'm leaving you like this, but I can't avoid it now.
If you ever have more questions about our past, ask Verani or Amber for my old journal in my bedroom. While we were away before Tenrou I wrote everything down, even the stuff about my past. You don't have to read it, but if you read those sections don't be alone. The writings are only for you to see, but it's a lot. My life before you was shit. And when you're done with it, please burn it. Make sure that no one else will ever have to live those nightmares in that book through my words. You saw how they drove V nuts earlier.
I know I keep saying it, but I think this is the last time. I love you. I am so proud of you. Forever burn brightly, blockhead.
Love your sister,
Kia
Natsu's eyes stung, but they were too dry to cry again. He knew he was going to start reading her journal after the party. He had already asked Verani and Amber if he could have it, and it was currently tucked safely away at his house. He would probably hide it at Lucy's, in her bookshelves while he read through it.
A part of him was terrified to read everything she had been through, but he kind of hoped that she hadn't left anything out. He wanted to know exactly what she went through and how she still managed to be the strongest person he ever knew. He knew he would always look up to her, but after finding out everything about their connections to Zeref and his demon books, there was a whole nother layer to who she was.
His mind drifted to the awe and wonder that had filled him when he saw her arrive on Tenrou Island. The raw power and determination she showed when she rammed into the Black Dragon of the Apocalypse at full speed. She always did everything she could to protect those around her.
Slowly, Natsu pushed himself up to his feet. He paused to watch the sun begin to set out across the lake. For now, he would go inside the guild and celebrate the person his sister was with everyone else.