The heat of the kiss merged with the adrenaline already coursing through Lincoln's veins and set his body and senses ablaze. He trembled with the struggle to keep it under control. The kiss ended slowly but he couldn't draw back, his lips lingering against Holden's mouth. His eyes were closed, and he couldn't seem to open them. Maybe he feared what he would see in Holden's eyes... something that warned him this was his first and last kiss of the new year. He couldn't expect Holden to just forget everything because of one kiss.
It filled him with hope when Holden didn't immediately pull away. The young man stood tense, surely stunned, his fingers tentatively gripping the front of Lincoln's shirt. Lincoln slowly opened his eyes and met Holden's teary gaze. He nearly broke down when he saw there was nothing to fear in that gaze.
Lincoln's hands trembled as he slid his fingers through Holden's hair and touched his head to the young man's brow. "Give me one more chance," he pleaded softly, his words shaky. "And I promise, I'll never hurt you again... I'll never let anyone hurt you, ever again." A shudder rippled through him. "I don't expect you to forgive me... or want to be my boyfriend... I'm just asking that you let me be a part of your life in some way, give me a chance to earn your trust and maybe one day... your love."
Holden pressed gently against him, eyes closed and tears seeping from beneath his lashes.
"If you say no," Lincoln whispered with a shudder, "I'll understand. I don't deserve anything from you. But no matter what..." His chin trembled. "... I'll always love you, Holden Dunkel." He kissed his brow. "Always."
"You have got to be fucking kidding." McKenna's disgusted declaration shattered the tender moment and for that alone, Lincoln wished the earth would open up and swallow her.
Lincoln slowly withdrew his hands from Holden's hair and turned around, standing as a shield between the young man and the witch. "It's over, McKenna," he murmured. "Not just you and I—but all of it. Your bullying, your bullshit, everything."
"Things are starting to make sense," McKenna scoffed, ignoring his words. "All this time, you had a thing for the fag boy."
Lincoln moved forward and grabbed her arm, dragging her away from Holden and his friends. "Yeah," he hissed. "That's right. All those times we fucked—I was imagining I was with Holden. That's why I was turned on, that's how I got hard. It was never you."
McKenna jerked out of his grip. "You're not just fucking the local fag boy," she said in a raised voice, drawing the attention of Tonya and the others in their group. "You just fucked yourself, too. The rest of this school year is going to be real interesting for you, don't you think?"
Lincoln glanced at Holden who stared at him with uncertainty.
Don't worry, baby, I'm not going back.
"Actually." Lincoln nodded, casting a small smile at Holden. "I think it'll be damn interesting."
Her eyes narrowed, and Mckenna practically snarled at him. "You won't be so smug about it once the whole school—including your coach—finds out their star quarterback is a flaming faggot."
Lincoln started to reply when Abby approached, a rather scary look in her eyes for such a sweet, kind girl. Lincoln took a step back.
"What do you want, dyke?" McKenna snapped.
"Jamie just told me what you and Troy and Greg did to Holden," she spoke softly. "They got what was coming to them. But why should you get away with it because Lincoln is too much of a gentleman to hit a girl?"
McKenna smirked. "I guess I live a charmed life."
"You think so?" Abby's small fist shot out and nailed her former cheer captain in the face, bloodying her nose. McKenna yelped and dropped to the floor, shocked. Abby stood over her. "Better get a new charm because the magic in this one just died."
• • •
Holden felt caught in the surreal. Everything seemed to be happening in a slow-motion dream sequence as Tonya rushed over and helped McKenna to her feet, shot a vicious look at Abby, then walked her friend to the women's restroom.
"Ouch." Abby grimaced and shook her hand. "That hurt."
Jamie grinned at her proudly. "You're punching bone, what do you expect?"
The girl barely knew Holden and still, she took a stand for him.
"Thank you," Holden whispered.
Abby smiled, a slight pinch on her face. "My pleasure. And I do mean that. I've wanted to hit her since the day I met her."
"Most people do," Lincoln murmured and turned back to Holden. A quiet anxiety crept into his eyes. "What I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted..." He swallowed. "I just..."
Holden cupped his face and kissed him. "I lied," he whispered unsteadily, his voice strained with emotion. "What I said at the club... that I didn't want you anymore... that wasn't true. I was just... hurting."
"I'm sorry." Lincoln engulfed him in his arms and held him tightly. He buried his face in Holden's neck. "I'm so sorry. If you'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will."
Holden bit his lower lip and pressed his face to Lincoln's shoulder, his tears soaking into his shirt. "You made up for it," he whispered, "when you fought for me... and saved Jamie." He sniffed and raised his head. "I want you in my life. I never stopped wanting it... even when I said I did. I was lying to you... and to myself. I didn't think you would ever want to be with me... out in the open, and I didn't want to be your..." He hung his head, his chin trembling. "... your dirty little secret."
"My..." Lincoln held him closer. "I'm so sorry, Holden, that I ever made you feel that way." He pushed his face deeper into his neck and shuddered. "I'm so sorry."
"I was wrong," Holden said quietly. "And that's all that matters."
Lincoln kissed him softly. "You will always be too good for me, and don't you ever doubt it."
After four years of believing Lincoln Pratt was out of his league, it felt surreal for the quarterback to insist he wasn't good enough for Holden.
Holden disagreed. "You're wrong about that." He kissed Lincoln. Each time their lips touched, it was like a dream he never thought would—or could—come true. None of this felt real. His mind hadn't yet grasped this new reality that came on him so suddenly.
He savored the warmth of Lincoln's arms holding him so close, so tight.
Lincoln touched his lips to Holden's hair. "Before you knew it was me," he whispered, "what did you imagine would happen between you and the stripper when you came to the club?"
Holden shivered pleasantly. "Everything."
Swallowing thickly, Lincoln rasped, "Now that you know the truth... has that changed?"
"Has what changed?"
A light tremor quivered through Lincoln. "What you want to happen."
Holden pressed closer, his heart racing out of control. "No." His breath shuddered in his throat. "Nothing's changed."
A shaky exhale escaped Lincoln. "I want to be with you tonight. But if you don't..."
"I do," Holden whispered, an uneven catch in his voice. "I want it, too."
Lincoln ducked his head and brushed his lips along Holden's cheek. "Will you stay with me tonight?"
Holden closed his eyes as his sweetest fantasy came to life in that one tender request. Tears welled. "Yes."
• • •
Jamie grinned like the Cheshire cat.
"What?" Holden mumbled, smiling.
"I'm happy to admit I was wrong about Lincoln," Jamie said. "When I said you should forget him. But..." He held up a finger, his grin stretching. "... I was still right about the stripper and how things would play out between the two of you. Huh?"
Holden chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you were." He took out his phone.
"Who're you calling?"
"My parents." Holden sighed. "I'm... I'm not going to be home tonight, and I don't want them to worry."
Jamie smiled softly. "You're a good son. I hope, deep down, they know how lucky they are to have you as their kid."
Holden nodded. He didn't know if they felt lucky, but they loved him and that was enough.
"Wait..." Jamie squinted. "You're not going home tonight?" He arched an eyebrow. "So... you and Lincoln...?"
Holden laughed quietly and averted his eyes. "Yeah, he... he asked me to stay the night with him."
Jamie glanced at the quarterback standing a few feet away, his eyes darting repeatedly to Holden. Jamie smirked. "And you said he was out of your league." He pfted. "Looks to me like he's the one feeling fortunate for you."
Warmth washed through Holden; Lincoln had pretty much said the same thing.
Holden made his call. His mom answered and Holden explained he wouldn't be home till morning, and that he was staying with a friend for tonight.
"A friend?" Jamie smiled when the call ended.
Holden shrugged. "They don't need the details. They don't want the details, trust me. The less I tell them about my lifestyle, the better things are at home."
"But you and Lincoln are together now," Jamie said. "Are you going to tell them you have a boyfriend?"
"Yeah... eventually." Holden sighed. "We're sort of making progress... at least, I think we are... and I don't want to disrupt that."
"Do you think Lincoln will want to meet them?"
"I think... I hope... he'll let me decide when to make the introductions."
Jamie chuckled. "I'm pretty sure he won't be pressuring you about anything right now. He's at your mercy and, for the time being, I think you're in full control."
Holden shivered at the thought as his mind went straight to the bedroom. Honestly? He kind of hoped Lincoln would take control in the bedroom. Holden was inexperienced. He didn't know if Lincoln had engaged in gay sex before, but he had a lot of experience in straight sex, which surely counted for something.
"How are things progressing with you and Abby?" Holden asked.
"We're... taking it slow," Jamie said. "I'm crazy about her and, yes, I've had some fantasies about us. But I'm not gonna pressure her into something she isn't ready for. It's kind of nice just hanging out. I mean, we hold hands and kiss—which is really nice. I get the feeling she wants to do more, but I'm in no rush. We'll get to it when we get to it."
Holden chewed his lower lip. "Do you think I'm rushing things with Lincoln?"
"No," Jamie replied without hesitation. "It isn't the same with you guys. You've been in love with him this whole time and, I think, he's been in love with you for almost as long. And you guys have already done some hot sexy stuff together." He grinned. "So, no, you're not rushing anything. Go, have a great time tonight. You fucking deserve it, more than anyone."
Holden smiled small. "Thanks," he murmured. "For everything. You always have my back. Especially tonight."
"Lincoln was the hero tonight." Jamie smiled.
"Not just Lincoln," Holden whispered. "You didn't hesitate to try and help me. And that's everything to me."
Jamie grinned and hugged him. "I'd jump into a pit of poisonous snakes for you."
And he would, Holden knew without a doubt.
• • •
Lincoln parked the Trans Am in the driveway. "My dad won't be back until sometime tomorrow." He exhaled slowly and looked at the large home. "So, we'll have the place to ourselves."
"Okay," Holden whispered. He sat anxiously in the passenger seat looking as nervous as Lincoln felt.
At the club, behind the anonymity of the mask, Lincoln had surged with confidence. But the mask was gone... there was no more hiding. It was just him and Holden... and no secrets between them. Whatever happened now—happened out in the open. And that fact scared the hell out of him. What if he fucked up? He'd promised Holden he would never hurt him again and he had no intentions of doing so. But what if he couldn't stand up to the bigotry when they returned to school? McKenna wasn't wrong about how things would be once everyone knew the truth.
Lincoln looked at Holden—and suffered instant guilt and shame for his thoughts. Holden came to school every day and faced up to the bullshit, somehow managing to keep his head above water. You're so much tougher than you think—tougher than me. While Lincoln hid away, Holden walked through the fire. The young man was to be admired, someone to draw strength and inspiration from. And Lincoln did. For Holden, he would walk into that school with his head held high and proud of who he was.
And for Sam.
Quietly clearing his throat, Lincoln opened the car door. "Ready for tonight?"
Holden gazed at him in a way that warmed Lincoln in all the right ways. "I've been ready for four years."
Leaning over, Lincoln kissed him deeply. "Me, too."