The inside of the lodge is busy, but not particularly loud. Most of the groups of random strangers are spread out across the various tables that decorate the large cabin-like area, and everyone is engrossed in their own intimate conversations.
Charles wishes he was one of those groups, though he isn't really. He sits quietly by the fire, a sad smile on his face as he glances between the drinks menu and Pierre, who sits kneeling on the floor trying to help Yuki out of his ski boots. The Alpha Tauri drivers talk in hushed, happy tones between themselves, and though they are within earshot Charles tries to ignore what they are saying. It feels too intimidate, and he feels guilty for listening to the conversation only meant for the two of them.
They aren't even doing anything romantic— nothing but joking around. No cuddling, kissing, or cute pet names, but still the way conversation effortlessly flows between them, how they almost seem to know what the other will say, how the other feels... It all feels too overwhelmingly intimate all the same, and Charles can not help but feel like he isn't wanted here.
Sensing his discomfort with some sort of psychic level 6th sense, Pierre turns to Charles immediately, offering the shy Monegasque a reassuring grin as he pats Yuki on the thigh.
"I figured the next time I would have to help someone take ski boots off, it would be with my child," Pierre reminisces, before turning slightly to his struggling boyfriend and saying thoughtfully: "But I guess all this gear is probably children sized anyway, so no difference right?"
Yuki goes in for the kick on Pierre's shoulder, almost making the Frenchman fall over. Charles can't help but join Yuki in a good laugh over this, and Pierre curses them both a little as he gets up straight. Charles's only defense is that Pierre deserved it for being so rude to his boyfriend.
"Yeah, thank you, Charles," Yuki agrees eagerly, crossing his arms with a big smile as Pierre takes the seat next to him. "He's always mean to me— it's why I don't care he's leaving me for Alpine and his best friend Esteban."
Pierre makes a face, scoffing in displeasure. "Yeah, my 'best friend' I can't imagine how fun that's gonna be... he's had problems with basically all his old teammates, just shows how much of an asshole the guy is. I don't get how guys as nice as Mick and Lance can stand stand him."
Charles shrugs, finally picking out his choice of a hot chocolate on the drinks menu before the waitress comes over to take their orders. He can't help but notice the way Pierre orders for both himself and Yuki since the younger is too indecisive to choose. Pierre picks him one of the sweeter things on the menu, gently patting his boyfriend on the arm and telling him to:
"Trust me, you'll like it."
The Monegasque shifts awkwardly again on his side of the table, feeing out of place as he watches Yuki laugh and take Pierre's hand in his own "for warmth" as he puts it.
It's a miserable, tight feeling that claws at Charles's chest, and he is about to excuse himself when things take a turn for the worst.
It's a laugh, and the jangling of the silver bell above the door to the lodge as a pair of snow dusted jackets and broad shoulders stroll in. The pair collapses into the nearest table to the door, all adrenaline high laughter and chaotic smiles as layers of ski gear are removed and tossed carelessly over their chairs.
Charles wants to doubt it at first, want to not believe that breathless laugh belongs to the person he knows it does, but as layers are pulled off and the figure becomes more clear he knows he is doomed.
What does him in is when he finally takes off his helmet and hat and Charles gets a glimpse of those dirty blonde locks in that damned sexy disheveled look that he has admired all too many times after races this season.
"Fuck— Pierre— Max is here."
Charles ducks his head, trying to hide behind the bodies of his friends, though Yuki doesn't give him much to work with. He looks anxiously up at the two Alpha Tauri drivers who only give beyond confused stares in return. And, much to his horror, Charles does not have time to explain before Yuki turns rather obnoxiously to look behind him.
"Oh," he says a little loudly. "Max and Daniel must have gotten back from snowboarding."
"Yuki-" Charles hisses, his face practically buried into the table as he convinces himself that Max and Daniel just looked their way. "Get down- if he sees you two then he's gonna come over!"
Pierre rolls his eyes, harshly tugging the menu Charles was attempting to hide behind from out of his hands. "Stop it, Charles- you're being too dramatic. You'll have to face him eventually when the season begins. Are you really just going to run away from him for the rest of your life?"
"But-, But-, But-," Charles stutters out, feeling miserable and on the edge of tears as he tries to keep himself from having a full blown panic attack.
He isn't ready to face Max now... to face Max here... he isn't ready yet. He needs more time to prepare.
Still, Pierre has a point. Looking at him now, cowering behind a plastic menu at a ski resort, he looks pretty pathetic. How will he ever be able to face Max on the track this season if he can't even look at the guy without wanting to run away crying. At this rate he's more likely to become Prince of Monaco than he is to take the WDC...
"I didn't know he would be here, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to him yet..." Charles admits quietly, trying to pull himself together as Pierre gives him a sympathetic look.
"You don't have to right now Charlie, but please try to talk to him a little before our trip is over. I think it will help you get in a better place," Pierre says gently, giving Charles's shoulder a squeeze.
The brunette sniffles a little, nodding weakly as he sits up a bit straighter. His eyes are red and swollen from his mini-breakdown, and he still can not bring himself to break the bad habit of keeping his head low.
Across the room, Max and Daniel laugh without a care in the world, ordering drinks and sharing stories of their RedBull days together, declaring how happy they are to be reunited under the team again. Charles listens to the whole thing, sulking miserably as he takes small sips of his drink and doesn't eat a thing.
There is a hollow feeling in his stomach, and something twists deep inside of him at every blissful smile that Daniel and Max share with one another. The way that Max ghosts his hand over Daniels knuckles when the Aussie complains of coldness, or how they shuffle close together nearer by the fire and Max can not seem to stop smiling every time Daniel says something. The way they can not keep their eyes off one another for even a half second as they talk about things that should mean nothing but to one another mean everything just because it's that person saying it.
'It could have been you,' Charles's mind tortures itself. 'It could have been you, and now it's never going to be.'
He reaches his breaking point when he watches, with a clear view, Daniel lean in close to whisper something in Max's ear. The way he sees the RedBull driver's blue eyes spark with something deep and raw. The way his face turns about nine shades of red as his lower lip twitches and Daniel pulls away laughing giddy with delight, high on something that is unmistakable to Charles.
Love.
His heart leaps up into his throat, burning and choking him. He can not breath suddenly, as his eyes betray him and those waves of pathetic tears come rushing back again quicker than he can get control of. Biting his lip, he turns away, putting his palm on the cold table a bit too quickly as he wraps his hand uncomfortably tightly around his ski boots. The plastic digs painfully into his palms, leaving ugly red marks that burn as he squeezes his hands into tight fists and fights on his thick jacket.
Pierre gives him a concerned look as Charles pulls on his hat and gloves, taking his helmet and goggles in hand as he stands up and gets ready to brave the cold night air. He can't be in here any longer, it's all too overwhelming— he needs to get out for a while, needs to clear his head.
"It's getting really dark and cold out, Charles— most people are coming in now, the slopes were icy when we came in and the sun hadn't even set yet..." Pierre frowns, trying ever so gently to talk Charles out of going. "It's a bit dangerous, no? I don't want to see you getting hurt..."
The Monegasque shrugs dismissively, tightening the velcro on his gloves as he gives an uneasy smile and glances out the window towards the unforgiving night sky.
"I'm only gonna run blue a couple times, the slopes are closing in an hour or so anyway, I think I want to try to get the most out of my lift ticket for today, right?" He forces a nonchalant smile, trying to reassure Pierre (and himself) as much as possible that he is fine, that everything is ok.
"Anyway, I think Lance, Seb, Mick, Kimi, and Esteban are still out on there. I'll meet them up and stay with them the whole time if that makes you feel any better?" He offers, looking at his best friend in false confidence.
Pierre is hesitant still, sucking in a worried breath as he glances out the window to the poor conditions— he is reluctant to see his friend go. He has already lost so much, already lost Jules and Anthonie, and that race in Japan still feels so soon, so close. Too close. He doesn't want to let Charles go. He can not loose another loved one so young. And when Charles is... like this... there is no predicting what he may do. All sense of self preservation is out the window.
But he looks so sad, so desperate to leave standing there like that— and Pierre's sense of sympathy gets the better of him.
"Fine, but promise you'll stay with Seb, he's the only responsible one of that bunch. Especially when Mick, Lance, and Estie are all together..."
Charles grins, looking for first time this trip like he is actually happy, and at just seeing his friend really smile for the first time in months Pierre can feel his worry slip away. Besides... it gives him some ""alone time"" with Yuki after all...
"Thanks Pierre, I'll text you when I meet up with them," Charles calls out over his shoulder as he hurries out of the lodge, balancing his remains gear in his arms as, for the first time tonight, he does not even bother to pay attention to Max and Daniel.
He doesn't need them, he tells himself. It doesn't matter if Max and Daniel are inside the lodge cuddling up with one another all night long. It doesn't matter that it should have been him... Max would just get in the way of his racing anyway— it's best to just forget.
But, for all the stressing Charles has done all night over Max. The Monegasque has missed still the love struck blue eyes that follow him out into the bitter night air, and the accented voice that mutters silently:
"it's too cold out there for him, I'm worried."
***
It's colder out on the mountain than Charles had anticipated, and as wind whips painfully at his flushed cheeks and he waits impatiently for the others to meet him at the top of the lift, Charles can almost feel an ounce of himself beginning to doubt this decision. As the night has gone on the temperature has gotten only more bitter, and with no sun to warm him up little the Monegasque can feel himself shivering breath the thick coating of his jackets and ski pants.
Pulling his arms around himself for a bit of warmth, he shuffles awkwardly on his skis as he glances out over the moonless sky and the near abandoned mountains. There are only a few sparse groups of the more dedicated skiers still out in this weather, and the whole mountain is virtually silent except for the gusts of wind and the whirring of snow machines. He feels his thoughts leaving him, melting into nothingness as he watches snow fall through the piercing black sky.
Esteban had texted saying that the line at the lift was long, that it would probably be at least another twenty minutes still to go before they were back up at the mountain top. Checking his watch, Charles can feel himself growing impatient. It would only be another thirty minutes that the slopes were open, and if he doesn't get on with it soon then he will have wasted thirty minutes waiting around Seb, Kimi, Lance, Mick, and Estie only for the slopes to close just as soon as they up there.
Looking back in the path to the lodge where a happy couple is taking off their ski gear and heading back for warmth, Charles decides to break his promise to Pierre about not going skiing alone. Surely the Frenchman had over-exaggerated how bead the weather was anyway, for where he was at now Charles thought the slope looked mostly powdery with snow. Besides, he had been skiing since he was just child— and this was only a blue slope, how bad could it possibly be?
If things got out of hand he could always "pizza his way down" as Pierre had put it earlier when teaching Yuki. There was nothing to worry about, it wasn't a very long slope anyways.
And so, he digs his poles into the snow and pushes off down the slope. The drop feels steeper than he remembers and he adjusts his skies as he gets a better grip on himself. The brisk air stings his face, and as adrenaline tingles through his body flakes of snows cute his cheeks and blur his goggles as he zags down the slope. He is lucky he doesn't need to worry much about other people on the slope, for— as he glides down the slope recklessly quickly— he looses control of his speed and direction more than once.
It's difficult to see or hear much of anything with the snow fogging up his goggle and the snow machines and echoing wind roaring like an ocean in his ears. And yet, he wouldn't have it any other way. His heart pumps in hi chest as he zags his way across the mountain, and he can not seem to keep down his thrilled smile. He hasn't felt this way since crossing the finish line in Austria to take P1, and as Charles chases that feeling, he doesn't notice himself sliding dangerously close to the ditches that line the right side of the slope.
He isn't thinking about anything but the feeling of victory and the adrenaline being pumped to his head as he slides over a rough patch, loosing balance on his right leg as somewhere in the distance he hears a sticking crack of bone, and he falls. He braces for an impact that doesn't come soon enough as his head slams into ice covered ground and he falls, falls, falls into the darkness of the ditch.
***
By the time Mick, Lance, Esteban, Seb, and Kimi have stumbled their half frozen selves into the lounge all the other drivers are now huddled close around the fire. The main lobby has been mostly abandoned now as many of the other visitors have gone off to their own respective cabins for the night now that the slopes have closed and most of the diners and cafes are winding down too.
With ample room left around the fire, Seb takes Kimi by the hand and practically drags his anti-social Finn to where the others are sitting around, laughing and talking without a care in the world. Daniel had ordered all five them hot chocolates he had ordered before the cafe closed and kept warm by the fire, and as Seb takes both his and Kimi's in his hand and finds a place to get comfy, he listens into whatever Lando and Carlos are giggling over.
"Wow, It was crazy- I can't believe you all missed it!" Lando exclaims, leaning back with an easy smile against Carlos's chest.
"What? What did we miss, tell me!" Mick leans in with raised brows, whipping around out of Esteban's grips as the Frenchman had been helping him take his ski gear off.
"Well," begins Pierre, looking quite pleased with himself. "We may or may not have decided to call Lewis to confirm is Checo's little rumor about a Greek reunion trip was true..."
"And?!" Seb says, almost compulsively as he leans a little to hear the story some more. Most of the grid gives him an odd look, but Kimi only squeezes him on the shoulder. It seems he's the only one who remembers how dramatic and chaotic the German had been in his RedBull days.
"Well, originally it was just Lewis who picked up, and I was bummed because I thought things were just going to be normal, you know?" Daniel continue the story for Pierre, gesturing to his phone as it was the one they had made the call on. "But he was acting completely weird, you know? Like he seemed like he was annoyed and he was answering all my questions really vaguely like he had something to do."
Yuki, Carlos, Lando, and Pierre nod along in confirmation, offering a few words of emphasis for how unlike himself Lewis was acting before Daniel silences them all so he continue.
"And here thinking like, that weird right? But I'm about to brush it off as maybe he's going out somewhere or maybe he's just going to sleep early, I don't know," the Aussie shrugs, pausing for a moment to build the suspense. "But then, right as I'm about to get off the phone I can here someone in the background, and I'm there trying to figure out what the person said cause I couldn't here the voice that well when Lewis's just super quickly goes 'Nico, shh-' right as he's handing up!"
"Well," Esteban huffs, rolling his eyes as he takes his seat now that he finally has Lance and Mick out of their gear, "Did you ever find out what he even said? They could just be there as friends..."
Seb scoffs a little in disbelief— after everything that Lewis and Nico have been through together there is no way those two could ever just be friends.
"Well," Lando begins to explain, scrunching his brows together. "We never really figured out what he said, but I definetly hear him say 'Lew, hon' or something like that... I mean you could tell by the way he was talking they weren't just friends."
Esteban nods his head, satisfied but surprised nonetheless. Seb guess that it may be tough for some of the younger drivers who were only around for the "enemies era" to understand just how lovey-dovey Lewis and Nico used to be. Honestly, those two used to annoy the grid group chats with how many kissy faces and hearts they sent to one another, and now they only annoy the group hats with how much they fight. Seb thinks it would be nice to the see the two of them happy again, Lewis always keeps himself so closed off from a lot of the grid since everything that happened with Nico. It would be good for the two of them to find some peace with one another again.
Resting easy, Seb relaxes his head back against Kimi's chest, warming himself up from the bitter weather. He hadn't realized jsut how cold it was until he came inside and realized he could hardly feel his fingers anymore. He can't imagine how much colder it will get as night goes on the temperate plummet even further below zero. The slopes may be too icy tomorrow for any kind o good skiing,meh reminds himself he'll need to warm the other driver to stay safe and preferably on the greens.
He is almost about to doze off for a quick nap when he notices one voice that hasn't spoke up for a while finally say something. "Where's Charles at? Wasn't he supposed o come back with you, Seb? Isn't that what you said Pierre?"
Seb blinks his eyes open in sunrise, meeting the concerned eyes of Max who stands waiting anxiously by the window. The night is completely black out there and all the slopes would be closed by now, even ski patrol has probably all gathered up at the lodges closer to the mountains.
"I never saw Charles out there?" Seb frowns, sitting up straighter as he gets a tight feeling in his chest. "He texted you, didn't he Esteban?"
The Frenchman scrunches his brows, pulling out his phone from his pocket at he checks again. "He texted me he was at the mountain but that was hours ago when we were on the lift. By the time we got back up to the top of the mountain no one was there and the ski patrol told us the slopes were being closed."
Mick swallows tensely, looking nervously between Seb and Esteban as he checks his own phone for any updated from the Ferrari driver. None.
"Maybe he just went back to his cabin or something right? He's staying with you and Yuki, right Pierre?" Lando asks his voice rising a few pitches as he too gets anxious.
Pierre nods seriously, telling Yuki to call the number connected to the landline in their joint cabin, while he tries to reach Charles on the cell. They both are met only with voicemail.
"Fuck-, fuck-, fuck-, I told him not to go out there! I told him not to go alone in this weather... why can't he just no be stupid for once?!" Pierre panics, trying desperately once again to call his best friend.
"What do we do?" Lance asks on Mick's behalf as the Haas driver curls up against Esteban who is busy trying to calm his boyfriend down. Seb understands, he can not imagine how close to home this must be hitting for the poor Schumacher boy as he sobs between panicky gasping breaths into Esteban's chest.
"Ok, ok, ok, right now we all need to try to stay calm as much as we can." Seb orders, looking between the other drivers. "Pierre you said he was defiantly supposed to meet us at the blue slope, right?"
The Frenchman swallow's difficulty as he gets himself under control a bit more, nodding seriously. "Yeah, that's where he said he would meet you all at. I'm guessing he must have gotten impatient and went down on his own?"
"Sounds like Charles," Seb agrees, nodding as he pulls out his phone. "Ok, what we need to do is call ski patrol and tell them everything we know, alright? They'll find Charles, and bring him to the medical center or— if necessary— to the hospital. Just stay calm everyone and please stay here, we don't need to lose anyone else. Pierre I'm going to put you on the phone with them since you were the last person Charles talked to, do you feel alright enough to talk to them?"
He nods uneasily but surely all the same, and though his eyes are still puffy and his voice seems to waver a bit, Seb knows the Pierre would do anything right now to ensure Charles's safety. He knows he would say the same for the lovable Monegasque that was once his teammate. And as Pierre takes the phone and begins explaining the situation to the ski patrolman, Seb can feel his own mind catching up to him as he does the math for how long the human body can survive at below freezing temperatures.
Relapsing onto his own thoughts, he is dragged out of it only by the pressure and warmth of Kimi's hand squeezed reassuringly around his, and though the Finn admits he has no words to say that could make him feel any better, Seb tell him that his grounding presence is more than enough right now. And, while he can still hear his heartbeat pumping in his ears, and his thoughts are entirely too loud right now, something deep inside tells him that everything is going to be alright— that Charles will wind up safe and safe and sound.
That is, until, he hears Lando ask quietly: "Uh guys-... has anyone seen Max since we found out Charles went missing on blue?"
Kimi's hand tightens on his waist as they both share the same though: 'No, no, no- fuck no, surely not all of our grid kids are complete idiots.'
"Uh...." Daniel hesitates, meeting Seb and Kimi's complete death glares. "He may have grabbed all his ski gear and ran out the door as soon as he hear where Charles was..."
"He did what the fuck now-?!"
***
[A/N]: Sorry I had to make it two parts because it was too long. Part II will come this weekend, lmk if you want me to tag you!