"Mama?" Steve reached out, unused to seeing anything but love in her eyes. Now there was disgust and anger and it was frightening him.
"Stop calling me that!" She snapped, turning away from him and continuing to pack her bag. "It's pathetic. You're pathetic."
Steve pulled his hand back, not understanding why his mama was saying these things. She loved him right? She said it was okay to be little. Mama wouldn't lie, would she? "Mama don't go," he whimpered, hugging his teddy close and sitting down in front of the door, attempting to block her path.
She came over to stand in front of him. "Move."
"Mama p'ease," he cried, tears beginning to slip down his cheeks as she glared at him. He reached up towards her, hoping for some scrap of affection, but was instead met with a slap on the face.
"What did I just say?" She snarled. "I'm not your mama anymore, now move out of my way! I have better things to do than deal with you all day." He let out a little sob as he moved, too terrified not to obey. "Oh god are you crying? This is exactly why I can't stay here, you're ridiculous."
"Don't go," he cried. "P'ease don't leave. I'll be better."
"You had your chance. Goodbye Steve."
She walked out the door, leaving her sobbing baby behind as he pleaded with her not to abandon him.
Steve woke up with tears streaming down his face. He shot up in bed, quickly falling into his headspace as he tried to remind himself that Y/n was just a one room over and that she hadn't abandoned him. He took a deep breath like his mama had taught him, trying and failing to calm down on his own before realizing that it wasn't going to work.
He grabbed his teddy bear and with tear tracks still shining on his face he made his way to his mama's bedroom. Once he had arrived he hesitated in front of the bed, deciding that it wasn't worth waking her up. What if she got angry? What if his dream came true and she left? It was far too risky, but he still couldn't bring himself to leave. Steve curled up on the ground on his mama's side of the bed, sniffling and wishing he had brought a blanket with him. He tried not to cry, knowing that the sound would wake his mama, but there was only so much he could do. He was small and scared and all he wanted was Mama.
Tears began streaming down his face again as he sat there, and eventually a little sob escaped. He clamped a hand over his mouth but it was no use. The sobs began to come out faster and faster as he contemplated life without his mama and he leaned his head against the mattress as he tried to cry as quietly as possible.
"Stevie?" He heard a sleepy voice say. "What happened baby?"
Mama.
He couldn't find the words to respond, fear taking hold as he readied himself for his nightmare to become a reality. But instead of harsh words or a slap across the face he felt a gentle hand carding through his hair.
"Did you have a bad dream baby?" She asked softly, not a trace of anger or irritation in her voice.
Steve nodded his head without even thinking, too little and too distressed to think it over. "Mama," he sobbed.
"Mama's here," she cooed, moving back in the bed and wincing when Steve let out another sob at the feeling of her hand leaving his hair. "Oh baby, it's okay. C'mere, Mama made room for you."
Steve looked up to see his mama with her arms open, holding up the comforter for him to get warm and he couldn't stop himself from getting up. He frantically got as close as he could to his mama, burying his face in her chest in an attempt to muffle his crying. He could feel her arms around him, cradling him close to her body while she whispered soft reassurances that she loved him and that he was safe.
"Sorry Mama," he said sadly when his sobs had finally petered out. "Sorry Stevie woke you up."
"You don't need to be sorry bubba, Mama's here to help you," she reassured him. "I love you so much, you know that right?"
He nodded his head, relaxing in her arms. "Love you too Mama," he sleepily mumbled, nuzzling his head into her chest as he settled.
"Go to sleep baby," she whispered. "Mama will be here when you wake up."
When Steve woke up the next morning he was still wrapped securely in his mama's arms and he smiled a little when it sunk in that she had kept her promise. Mama always kept her promises. He let himself fall back asleep, trusting that his mama would wake him at the right time to start the day.
Y/n awoke to see her baby draped across her chest with his teddy bear held securely between their bodies. She couldn't help but admire how peaceful he looked in her arms, cheek squished up against her as he drooled on her shirt. She thought back to the night before and realized that he'd most likely be a bit smaller than usual for the day while he processed whatever he had been dreaming about. If he was going to be able to nap in the afternoon she needed to wake him up sooner rather than later.
"Stevie," she cooed, running a hand through his hair. "It's time to wake up baby." He whined as he woke up, clearly displeased at being disturbed. She laughed a bit at his irritation and he cracked his eyes open, smiling when he saw her.
"Hi Mama," he said sweetly, resting his chin on her chest so that he could look at her. Love made his chest swell as he looked at her, entirely captivated by the one person that was allowed to see him like this, soft and vulnerable. He shuddered as she slipped a hand under his t-shirt to rub his back, relaxing as he felt her skin against his own.
"Hi baby," she said softly, kissing Steve's nose and drawing a little giggle from his mouth. "Why don't we get ready for the day?"
"Teddy wants a few more minutes," Steve said shyly.
"Alright, how about five more minutes?"
"He says that's okay."
Steve's teddy bear was very important to him. Not only was it the first gift he ever got from his mama, but it had become a very important tool for him. He had a lot of trouble asking for things, not wanting to be viewed as a burden, and it made it much easier for him to tell his mama that Teddy needed it instead of himself. His mama was endlessly patient, always playing along and understanding that Steve often needed the extra safety net of asking for things through his teddy. She was more than happy to indulge him, after all she'd do just about anything to keep her baby feeling safe and secure with her.
Y/n held her baby a little tighter. She knew what "a few more minutes" really meant, he wanted a few more minutes of cuddling, of having his mama right beside him. "Does Teddy know what he wants for breakfast yet?" She asked patiently after a few minutes.
"He says he wants pancakes," Steve whispered, hiding his face in his mama's shirt.
"Pancakes sound good, how about maple syrup and butter too?"
He happily nodded his head, sitting up and stretching out his limbs as his mama did the same. She got out of the bed and he scrambled to his feet to follow her. "Mama?" He called out anxiously as she headed to the bathroom.
"Yes baby?" She asked softly, furrowing her eyebrows at his distress. She wasn't entirely sure what was wrong.
"Where you going?" He asked nervously.
"Mama's using the potty real quick," she explained. "I'll be right back." She watched as her baby's eyes filled with tears. Steve was attached to her, but he was rarely clingy like this. He must've woken up smaller than usual, something that wasn't unheard of after a nightmare. "Oh Stevie, it's okay baby. Why don't you come and sit by the door?"
Steve shook his head. "Mama's gonna disappear," he said in a distressed little voice.
She thought back to the last time he had acted like this, when he'd gotten back from a mission that had gone horribly wrong, and realized that just like last time she'd have to sacrifice personal space for a while to make sure her baby felt secure. "Come on bubba, you can sit on the counter with your eyes closed."
The entire time that Y/n made breakfast, Steve was clinging to her. If he didn't have a hand holding hers, he was hanging onto her around the middle. He couldn't seem to stray from her side even for a moment and she couldn't help but wonder what he had dreamt about that would frighten him so badly.
By the time breakfast was over he was covered in maple syrup and Y/n decided that a bath was in order. She was hoping that in addition to getting him clean, it would help him calm down. She led him into the bathroom and helped him get undressed, setting his teddy bear on the bathroom counter so that her baby could keep an eye on it.
"You want lavender or chamomile soap bubba?" She asked once she had gotten him into the tub.
"Mama pick," he said quietly, staring up at her with wide innocent eyes. Y/n felt her heart swell when she realized what he was really wanting. It was about more than just soap, he wanted her to tell him what was best. He wanted her to take care of him in a way that no one else was allowed to.
"Okay baby, Mama's got you," she said softly, lathering a washcloth with the lavender soap. She used slow, gentle movements, making sure that her baby could relax while she got him nice and clean. When she was satisfied that he was no longer sticky, he laid back so that she could wash his hair. Steve usually hated being submerged in water, it reminded him a little too much of when the plane crashed. The one exception was bath time with his mama. Her gentle touch and reassuring voice made him feel completely at ease, and she was always so careful to keep his face from getting wet.
"Come on Stevie," she cooed once she had gotten him out of the tub and dried off his body. "Get on the counter for Mama." Instead of pouring water over his face she would always wait to wash it until he was out of the bath. It was a small gesture, but to Steve it meant the world. She cleaned his face quickly, making sure he was comfortable before taking him to the bedroom and picking out some pajamas for him.
She decided on a warm matching set that she had bought him a few months before. It was made of soft baby blue flannel and was covered in little brown teddy bears. His face lit up when he saw it and he reached out, wanting to feel the soft fabric. She let him hold the pajama top while she helped him into a pull-up and his pajama pants, before buttoning his top. She left the two top buttons undone, wanting to make sure that her baby didn't feel restricted.
"You look so cute in your jammies Stevie," she said lovingly, cupping his face in her hands. "Mama's sweet baby."
Steve's face flushed red under his mama's praise. He could never get tired of hearing her voice, telling him exactly how she saw him while he was regressed. In her eyes he wasn't a soldier. He wasn't expected to lead troops or save the world. All he had to be was her Stevie and she'd be happy.
Y/n pressed a kiss to her baby's forehead before walking over to her nightstand. She opened up a drawer and watched as her baby's eyes lit up with anticipation. This was his favorite part of getting ready to spend time with his mama, he'd been looking forward to it all morning. She smiled and pulled out his comfort item, watching as he beamed up at her and reached for the toy.
"You want your lovey baby?" She asked, holding out the item so that he could take it. Steve's lovey was incredibly important to him. It was a security blanket and a stuffed animal all in one, with the head and arms of a bunny and an unbelievably soft blanket as a body. His mama had bought it for him way back when he was still anxious about being little in front of her, telling him that 'every little boy needs a lovey'. It was a tangible reminder that his mama wanted him to be small, that she really did see him as her baby when he was little. She wasn't just humoring him or putting up with it, instead she genuinely enjoyed taking care of and nurturing him.
"Thank you Mama!" Steve said happily, holding his lovey close and rubbing his cheek against the soft fabric.
"Anything for you Stevie. Why don't we go snuggle up on the couch?" She asked, heading for the door of the bedroom.
She heard a frightened little whimper come from her baby and stopped in her tracks. She turned to see Steve clutching onto his teddy bear and his lovey for dear life, frozen in place from what she assumed to be fear. Something was seriously wrong here, usually he'd be following right at her heels. Even when he was as clingy as he was today, he never had a problem with simply following her.
"Stevie?" She came over to the bed and sat down in front of him on the mattress, watching as his eyes filled with tears. "Baby what's wrong? You're making Mama very worried about you."
Steve fought the urge to crawl into his mama's lap, and did his best not to start crying. He couldn't find it in him to voice his fears and instead opted to use the only strategy he could. "Teddy thinks that Mama's gonna leave," he said quietly, staring down at the mattress. "He says that Mama won't want him and Stevie no more."
"Why does your teddy think I won't want you guys anymore?" She asked gently, knowing that she needed to get to the root of the problem before she could comfort him in any way that would matter.
"We're not good." He said defeatedly. "Not s'posed to need a mama. S'posed to be grownups."
Y/n felt her heart sink. Getting Steve to accept his own regression had been an uphill battle, getting him to accept that she was okay with it was even harder. It had been drilled into him that Captain America was meant to be strong 24/7. Any display of vulnerability had to be shoved down and definitely couldn't be witnessed by other people. It had taken countless nights of soft encouragement and reassurance to convince him that it was alright to be little, and even longer to let her be his caregiver. She couldn't even count the nights she had spent in the very beginning just holding him while he sobbed and begged her not to tell anyone, not to take advantage of this vulnerable piece of himself that he was trusting her with. She knew that it must've been his nightmare from the night before that had triggered this, and thought for a moment about how to handle the situation.
"Stevie? Can I talk to your teddy for a minute bubba?" She asked carefully, extending her hands and gently cradling the bear close to her chest when he handed it over. "Hi Teddy," she said softly, smiling down at the toy. "I heard you were a little bit worried. I know you and Stevie had a very scary dream last night, and I wanted to make sure I told you that it's not going to come true." She looked up for a moment to see Steve staring intently, holding his lovey close while his Mama spoke. "I love you and Stevie so much, I would never leave you or hurt you guys. It's okay that you need a mama. You don't have to be strong all the time. I'm right here to look after you, I promise." She heard a little sniffle and saw Steve doing his absolute best to not cry, biting his bottom lip hard and breathing erratically. She held the teddy bear closer with one arm and opened the other one for her baby. "It's okay to cry, Mama's here."
Steve couldn't hold everything in anymore. He crawled into his mama's lap and began sobbing into her shoulder, tearfully explaining what he had been dreaming about the night before. He clung to his lovey as he listened to her reassure him, making sure he knew that it wasn't real and that she would always be his mama for as long as she lived.
"Is there something I can do to help you feel better baby?" She asked him once his tears had stopped. "We could color, or watch a movie, or we could just go snuggle and talk for a while."
"Want Mama," he whispered, clinging tightly to her shirt. "Wanna be close."
An idea struck her and she pressed a kiss to her baby's head. "How about some skin-to-skin?" She asked quietly, smiling as her baby vigorously nodded his head. "Okay let's go get our special blankie and get comfy on the couch."
Before long Y/n had managed to get Steve settled on the couch, lying right beside her with his teddy and his lovey. She gently took his comfort items and placed them on the couch, making sure he knew that she'd give them back when he was settled. Steve watched his mama's loving face as she unbuttoned his pajama shirt and helped him take it off, attempting to memorize the expression on her face. She shimmied out of her shirt as well before laying back into the pile of pillows they had made and extending her arms. Steve couldn't stop himself from falling into her arms, letting her adjust him as she pleased.
Once Y/n had gotten Steve settled in her arms, torso pressed close against her own, she set his teddy bear down beside him and set his lovey on her chest so that he could hold onto it. Steve was practically floating, only thinking of the feeling of his mama so close to him. Skin-to-skin was incredibly important to him, something that his mama was well aware of. He'd spent a long time in the ice without even a single shred of human contact or affection and now that he had his Mama he treasured every moment that was spent being cuddled and loved.
Just when Steve thought that it couldn't get any better, his mama proved him wrong. She draped a blanket over her shoulders and wrapped it around the two of them, an unbelievably soft and fluffy one that he liked for these circumstances because it felt so good against his bare skin. Between the blanket and his mama, he was entirely cocooned in warmth. She grabbed the bottle of milk that she had made earlier, waiting for Steve to latch onto it before she began to sing. It was a routine that the two of them followed on the days where Steve needed a little extra care, a way for him to feel absolutely tiny. The songs varied from day to day, but most of the time they were lullabies, soothing melodies that told him it was time to rest and let his mama worry about the rest of the world. He adored his mama's voice, especially when he was eating. It was a perfect reminder that he wasn't alone anymore. He had a mama that loved him so much that she would sing to him while he ate.
When Steve finished the bottle, Y/n made quick work of burping him. She knew that he'd want to be cocooned back in her arms as soon as possible. She laid him back down and dragged her hand up and down his back under the blanket, gently applying pressure as he melted under her touch and tried in vain to get even closer. His cheek was firmly squished against her chest and he watched his mama with what could only be described as pure adoration.
"Hi baby," she cooed, cupping his face with her free hand. "You did so good finishing your baba. Mama's tiny little baby today, hmm?"
Steve nodded his head, letting out a happy little sound as he buried his face in her chest. He listened as his mama praised him, taking in every word she said.
"So beautiful," she said softly. "My beautiful, brave boy. I'm so proud of you bubba." She began stroking his hair, encouraged by the way that he shuddered at her touch and let out a little whine. "It's okay baby, Mama's got you. Just me and you here, safe and sound."
Steve was overwhelmed by the gentle care that his mama was providing. He'd been so scared when he woke up the night before, thinking that his mama wasn't going to want him and that he was a burden on her. But she wouldn't be doing this if she didn't love him, if she didn't want to care for him. She could've simply told him he was being silly and called it a day but instead she had done everything in her power to make sure he felt better. She had cleaned him up and made sure he had his lovey. She had held him while he cried to her about his dream and made sure to tell him that he was loved and wanted. And now? Now she was holding him close and praising him, providing a kind of love that he had spent his life searching for. He felt tears burning in his eyes and sniffled, doing his best to keep it together.
"It's alright Stevie," she murmured, moving his lovey a little closer. She had known he'd end up feeling a little sensitive, he always did on days like this. He let out a little whimper and she wrapped both arms around his body, making sure that he was touching as much of her as possible. "You don't have to be a big boy right now. I know you're feeling a little overwhelmed, Mama's here to help you."
She watched as her baby looked up at her, finally letting his tears fall down his cheeks as she reassured him. "You're such a good baby Stevie," she said softly. "My good baby. I'm so proud of you." As she continued to praise him and wipe away his tears, he began to settle. He was clearly exhausted and she began humming to him as his eyes drooped. "You can sleep baby, Mama will be here when you wake up."
He believed her.