I don't know how long I sat on the floor of the stinking changing rooms. I don't know what happened, why the thought of Neymar and other girls made me feel so physically sick. What was this man doing to me?
I checked my phone for the time before standing up, it had been just over half an hour. I quickly jogged out and into the stadium, towards the seats Antonella and I used to sit in.
Her jaw dropped when she saw me and she held it there for a while before speaking, "You- here- Neymar? Huh?"
I laughed, accepting her hug and then sitting beside her.
"Girl, explain!" she rolled her eyes as my own scanned the pitch, "Amelia!"
"Last night, I didn't actually call a cab already. I just felt bad that I was always tagging along with you and Messi so I thought I'd call one later. Turns out my phone died and I could only remember one number," I started and she covered her face, cringing.
"No, please no!"
"I called Neymar. Only expecting him to call you or me a cab but he insisted on picking me up and I was wasted so wasn't thinking straight. He got me and we had some long talk in the car, was a bit weird to be honest. I spoke to him about Correa and he wasn't all uptight about it and just said that I deserved better and stuff."
She raised her eyebrows, just as surprised as I was.
"I must've passed out before I could tell him my address and then I woke up this morning in his spare bedroom. It was still awkward but I think we're making progress. He was dropping me home but invited me to come here so I could see you so I got a lift with him," I finally finished explaining.
"How do you always find yourself in shit?" she laughed.
"The shit finds me, I don't ask for it!" I laughed.
"Hmm debatable," she said, still cracking up, causing me to roll my eyes and focus my attention back onto the team.
They were doing some passing drills but Dani and Neymar were messing about, making the whole team have to do a lap. When they ran past us, he noticed that I had eventually made my way in here and waved to me. I just smiled in return, thoughts of the same scenario happening with Bruna in the back of my mind.
"What's wrong?" she asked after quietly observing my behaviour for a few minutes.
"Nothing," I smiled at her then continued to watch them play.
She gave me a look, "I'm not stupid and you're gonna end up telling me at some point so let's not drag it out. What's wrong?"
I paused before answering, "Do you reckon he brought Bruna here?" I practically whispered.
Her face cracked into a smile, "You still like himmm!" She pushed me playfully and I rolled my eyes.
"You're not funny."
"He didn't bring Bruna here babe, don't worry," she laughed as I let out a subtle sigh of relief.
"I don't even know what they were to be honest. I don't think he ever actually liked her, he never told Leo they were dating or anything. It just seemed like she was always following him around," she continued.
"I really want to hate her but I feel bad for her," I said honestly.
"Well she was a bit stupid to think he'd choose her over you. No one even knew she existed and Messi is his bestfriend, we would've known," her voice lacked any sympathy as she rolled her eyes.
I laughed, "But that's the same with me, isn't it? I wouldn't of known you guys if I didn't know Neymar."
She opened her mouth in shock, "No way! That's totally different! Neymar spoke about you all the fucking time, sometimes I would want to slap him just so he would shut up. She, her, that, whatever you wanna call it. Never got spoke about. No one liked her she was a tag along."
"Ant!" I laughed, "You're on smoke, drop her out."
"No she's a bitch. Thinking she's better than you, pftt."
"It's more Neymar's fault than hers. He's the one who allowed her to think like that. He obviously made out that he liked her more than me and so she thought it was true. I hate when people blame the girl rather than the guy, obviously they're both in the wrong but he's the one with the responsibility for it. He was the one already in a relationship," I shrugged, not wanting to bitch about her anymore. It made me feel bad.
"I aspire to have your understanding but both Leo and whoever the fuck wants to try me would be getting slapped the fuck up," she said bluntly.
I burst out laughing, "Ant, are you okay? I feel like we've swapped mindsets today."
She shook her head, "I have a strong hatred when it comes to her and Neymar."
"I couldn't tell," I laughed and she rolled her eyes.
"Anyway, what are you doing tonight?" she asked me, slipping her phone into her pocket.
"Nothing, he invited me to see Davi and the rest of his family but I just think it's a bit much, don't you? Like it's the first day I've spent with him in ages and it still is kind of awkward," I cringed as I spoke.
"Yeah no. You are not going, no way. You're coming back with Leo and I," she said, shaking her head.
I sighed, "I shouldn't be talking to him again, should I?"
She gave me a sympathetic look and placed an arm on my shoulder, "In all honesty, I don't think he deserves to have you in his life anymore. He hasn't even really tried to get you back apart from fighting Correa every time he sees you, which really is doing himself no good."
I laughed dryly and she carried on, "But at the same time, I see where you're coming from. You've spent basically your whole life with him, you can't just randomly decide to drop him and expect not to miss him. I've known Messi since we were kids, I don't know what I'd do without him so I understand. You just have to make it clear that you're the one in control here, you control the pace that your relationship moves in and you control how long you stay or when you want to leave. He needs to know that he can't just get away with shit because he's Neymar."
"Heard my name, what's up?" the one and only tapped my shoulders as he sat on the seat beside me, practically making me jump out my own.
"Don't do that you prick!" I shouted, not realising how hard I pushed him until he landed on his arse, causing Antonella to piss herself laughing.
He tried keeping a straight face as he got up, pretending he was mad but he couldn't keep up the front and was soon laughing with us.
"What did I miss?" Leo approached us, looking lost as usual.
"Amelia flooring Neymar," Ant wheezed as I rolled my eyes.
"That's a little bit dramatic," I said shaking my head.
Leo spudded me before sitting beside Antonella, "Well done, very proud."
"Oh piss off!" Neymar joked as we continued to laugh at him.
We sat for a while, talking and joking around like we used to. I think we all felt the weird deja vu but didn't want to say anything. I kind of missed it; hanging out as a group and not always feeling like the third wheel, at least I had somebody to suffer with me again.