Dacre's POV
I am sick and fucking tired of Kara telling me to get over Michael... I do not understand why she always tells me to get over Michael and why she doesn't ever seem to care much...
It is impossible for me to get over Michael. I could never ever get over Michael... He was my entire world and he still is my world... I cannot just forget about him forever. He is far too special and dear to me for me to forget about him....
"Its been ten years and it hasn't gotten better.... the voices still havent stopped.... this place doesn't help. It makes it worse...those pills you gave to Billy for me, they dont even work for me. This place doesn't help.. I am never going to get better until I have the love of my life back...." I can't stop crying. I just want my love back on my arms... it has been ten years and I can't take it much longer... I just wish I could fucking die already but I cannot...
"You need to stop it Dacre. I know loss is hard but it has been ten years you need to move on and accept that Michael is gone and so is your child"
I need to stop it?! I need to stop it?! I cannot stop it. I am not accepting that Michael is gone...I am not accepting that my beloved child is gone...I cannot...I know that Michael is not dead...they are a ghost and they cannot die..but God, I hope that they are okay wherever they are...
I hope to God that my precious child is alive somewhere... I hope that he or she or they or them is safe with my love... I really wish that I knew where my love was... but this stupid woman won't stop fucking telling me that Michael is gone when I know that they still are out there somewhere...
I just wish that I knew exactly where... I wish I could find them and bring them home... I swear, I would never ever let them go... I would never ever sleep again... I would keep extra care of them and protect them with every ounce of my soul...
"I- I cant!! I have been out looking everyday every single day for these ten years and I will never give up!!!! I will never stop!!! You dont understand...
..it is driving me insane. I already tried to go insane once before and I will try again because I cant keep living like this anymore.... I just cant..."
It is true.... I have tried to go insane... I have tried but Sadie and Miles had stopped me from doing so because of their affection towards me... I did not want to be known as a father who had become malicious and hurt innocents all because I had lost my love... I did not want to be known as a monster to them... so I did not go insane... even though I feel like I am slowly going insane without my love here by my side....
I hate how Kara does not understand my feelings... I hate how she invalidates them and turns them into this fucking stupid fucking shit of saying that I need to let go of Michael and to stop... She is fucking crazy for fucking thinking that I would fucking do that. I will continue to search for Michael until the day that this world ends... They are my world and I am so awfully lost without them...
"Baby...."
I freeze. Wha.....what...
That...that sounded like Michael's voice...that sounded exactly like the love of my life's voice...from behind me...
I...wha...I- am I hallucinating?! Have I heard that correctly?! Did....
I slowly turn around, I was not sure if it was just another one of my hallucinations, which I am very much convinced that it was since I always have hallucinations of Michael being here when they really aren't...
Kara's POV
What the actual fuck.... How is Michael here... what- no. What the fuck. NO!!! Why is she here?! Fuck... great...just great. Just fucking great.
I was planning on making a mega move on Dacre today... I was going to finally do what I've always wanted to do... I was going to straddle his lap and ride his dick. Fuck... I wanted to feel his dick in me... I still want to feel his dick in me.
I want to kill Michael.. too bad I don't have a gun or a knife in here.... because I swear I would shoot the shit out of this bitch or stab the hell out of her. She does not deserve Dacre. She should be dead. How is she suddenly here? That's what I want to know.
And what the fuck does Dacre see in this whore? She literally just has black hair with purple tips and what big boobs and a big ass? I have that too, and if Dacre likes that then he can take me instead of this bitch Michael.
This isn't fucking fair. I'm...this is absurd. I need to kill Michael. I am going to kill Michael. I am going to find where Michael lives with Dacre whether it's at that cottage I will literally go and fly there on a plane, or if it's at Billy's house I will go there and kill Michael tonight. I swear... I will kill her for taking Dacre away from me..... I will fucking kill her.
Dacre's POV
When I had turned around, Michael was...standing there. They were standing right there in front of me...
My heart dropped down to the floor... it felt like it had sank entirely to the pit of the ground... I could not believe my eyes... the love of my life... the love of my life was standing there...
But...but is this really them?... or is this an illusion like I have had many times before....
As I looked at Michael, they were starting to tear up.
I felt my heart sink again.
Oh...oh my god...oh my fucking god....is- is this really Michael?? Is this real?? Am I dreaming?! Is this really my love?!
Or is this another illusion?... God...god I do not know... my head is spinning...I do not know what is real and what is not...
I am hoping to god that this is really Michael standing right here in front of me... the love of my life who has been gone for ten years...I have been mourning the loss of them for so long.... craving their touch and the feeling of them being in my arms again.... the soothing sensation feeling of their presence...
I need to know if they are real...
I got out of the chair that I was sitting in as my legs shook worse than they ever have. I could feel everything inside of my body shaking... I did not know if what I was seeing was real or if my mind was playing tricks on me like it always does... "Mi-Michael??..."
Michael nodded. "It's me Dacre"
No....no...I do not believe that...
This exact thing has happened before in one of my illusions... Michael has appeared to me more than once and has said this same thing that it is really them... they have said that it is them and when I had gone to kiss them, they faded away...
I do not believe this... of course they're not here... they're gone... they're gone... they're gone...
My tears got worse. My head pounded. I can't fucking take this anymore... I CANT FUCKING TAKE THE FUCKING ILLUSIONS ANYMORE!!!!
"It's an illusion...it's an illusion...it's an illusion..."
I can't fucking hear anything... all I can hear is the sounds of my thoughts... my draining thoughts... the loud screaming in my head...I just fucking want it to fucking stop!!!!
I see Michael approach me as their hands go up to my cheeks. "Baby, I'm really here"
My heart drops again. This...this has never happened in one of my illusions before...Michael has never touched my face or anywhere on me physically...they always faded away when I had reached out for their face or before I even had a chance to go up to them.
What does this mean?... Is this a super powerful illusion or are- .... are they really here?! Is this really Michael?! Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. I need to know... I fucking need to know now.
I can feel my heart starting to speed up...I do not know what is about to happen...I do not know if my hands are going to go through Michael to see if it is an illusion or not...
I feel my eyes softening as I slowly moved my arms up and gently puts my hands on Michael's face and I freeze.
They....they didn't fade away...it's...it's Michael....it's really my love...it's the fucking love of my fucking life. ".....L-l-lovey??..."
"Yes"
My shattered heart instantly repieces itself. I feel a large wave of unexplainable joy rush through my entire body and up to my face to bring a happy smile to my face. I feel my insanity verge disappear as well as my hopelessness. I can't...I...I cannot believe my eyes right now...I cannot believe what I am hearing- I cannot believe what I am seeing- I cannot believe that the love of my life is right here!!
My heart...my chest...it all feels so tight like it is going to burst of emotions of passionate love and pure and true happiness. I- MICHAEL IS HERE!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD THEYRE REALLY HERE!! IT ISNT AN ILLUSION!! THEYRE REALLY HERE!! I- OH MY GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD.
My heart feels healed. I feel so happy...so so so very very fucking happy. I am finally feeling the touch of my love again after I have been so starved from it..my depression is washed away...the voices have finally quieted down...it's over. It's over. They are here. They are finally here again after ten years... I cannot even explain nor express my joy...I just know that I am the most relieved and happiest being alive in the world place right now.
My eyes were crying a ocean water thing of tears...and they were not tears of sorrow this time, they were tears of delight and tears of deep deep love to see that my love is here again with me. I gently wrap my arms around Michael and I feel my chest ache of love...I am hugging them...I am holding them...the very thing I have been dreaming of doing again for ten years is finally happening.
I cannot fucking stop crying...holy fuck..oh my fucking god. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!
"It's...it's you...you're...you....you are....you......I-I..."
I am at a complete loss of words for how many happy emotions that I am feeling right now, I cannot even begin to express what I am feeling right now...it is the most wonderful and lovely and beautiful feeling in the universe. "My love, you...I....you're-"
Michael cuts me off with a kiss and I feel my heart flutter inside of my body as a rising feeling of tingle simmers in my stomach and everywhere in my insides.
I kiss Michael back softly, softer than ever and adding on with as much passion and love as I possibly could. I never thought that this moment would come...I never thought that I would get to see my love again and feel their kiss...I am feeling on top of the world right now. I cannot believe that this is happening. I feel myself tearing up even more...this is...this is too much for me- oh my fucking god, I am just so so fucking happy...I am so fucking happy to be kissing Michael right now and for them to be back in my life. I fucking love them so fucking much and I missed them with all of my heart and more.
Michael smiles their ravishing perfect smile that could light up the darkest room. "Baby, I want you to meet someone"
I refuse to let go of Michael. I am never letting go of them again...I do not ever want to lose them ever again...I will lose my entire mind if I ever do again...
They want me to meet someo- ... OH MY GOD DO THEY MEAN MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD?! I- oh my goodness...it just keeps getting better, I feel my happiness rise even more.
I still cannot believe that this is all real...that this is happening...I am just so so very happy.
First I get the love of my life back and now I am about to meet my beloved angelic child that I have been dying to meet for the past ten years.
"The beautiful child?"
"Sweetie, come meet your real papa"
Wait....what??... Real....papa??... What does Michael mean by that...
"Real papa?.... What do you mean, my pumpkin pie..."
Did somebody fucking say that they were my child's father.... did somebody fucking force my love into a relationship and treat my love with abuse....
God... I fucking hope not.... but what does Michael mean by real papa?... I hope nothing bad has happened to them or to my child... I swear I will brutally murder the human if they had hurt either my love or my child...
I look at Michael as they nod. "Brenner told him that he was his papa"
.....
Brenner.... Doctor Martin Brenner... I know that disgusting awful and horrible name anywhere... that is the monster who had turned Henry crazy...
He....he had took Michael...god....how could I not of known?! I am such a stupid fucking idiot for not knowing to check the laboratory place at Hawkins... I know that horrible man forces humans to call him Papa because he had done that to the Eleven girl and to Henry...
I fucking hate that monster so fucking much... I fucking want him dead.
".........That is where you were this whole time....the monster who turned Henry so crazy like that took you....."
I wanted to say more, but I feel something move my sleeves of my sweater up.
I look down to see a young boy with the same eyes as me and I knew immediately that he was my child.
I feel my heart warm up. My child...my precious child that I have been waiting to meet for all of these years was here. He is an absolute angel, I do not even need to speak to him to say that, I just already know that he is an angel in my heart.
"Hello beautiful precious child..."
My child plays with my wrist bandages, which I do not mind since he is just a child afterall and he has just met me and I know that he might be confused on why I have bandages on my wrists. "Papa mind flayer"
Oh my goodness, that is the cutest thing ever. Papa mind flayer...that is such a sweet and silly adorable name for me, I absolutely love that so much...I do not know why that makes me so happy to hear.
Yes, I do very very much hate being called the mind flayer if it is not by Michael, but I am okay with my child calling me that. I am more than okay with him calling me that, I love him so much.
Michael snuggles into me as I hold them as close as possible to me...I am not planning on letting go of them ever.
I look down at my sweet child with a warm smile. "Yes angel child...I am your papa, and yes, that is my name...what is your name my child??"
"Alex but I get called 021, but I am Alex, right mama???"
"Yes, your name is Alex and not 021"
021.....oh. my. fucking. god. That fucking brutal fucking monster...that fucking brutal fucking monster fucking engraved the fucking number on Alex..he fucking made Alex think that he is a number...a pet of the laboratory place like Henry was...
He better not of done that to Michael either...
I frown at this. "Did that monster put the numbers on you...."
"Yes papa mind flayer, it is called a tattoo"
That fucking horrible fucking monster... I swear I will fucking torture him in the worst fucking way as possible...
I look down at Michael to see that they were looking at the number 020 on their wrist.
Fuck....fuck that fucking MONSTER!!!
I feel tears of sorrow start to pour out from my eyes. I can't fucking stand that monster...I thought that somebody else might have taken Michael for all of these years...or that they had just been missing...I never thought that Brenner would have taken them...God...I could have fucking prevented this from happening to my love and to Alex...
".....God, all these years I thought that someone random had took you and Will and I never thought it would be him and for all the years I had blamed myself thinking that I had caused this..."
I gently pick up Michael's wrist with the number and I look at it with tears falling down... I wish I could wash that horrible number away...
"Papa mind flayer, it isn't your fault. Mama said something happened to you in your sleep that made you not be able to know she was gone, right mama?"
I do not know what had happened to me in my sleep or in Boris' sleep....perhaps we were knocked out or something, but I just...God...I really fucking wish I could have prevented this from happening and that I could have raised Alex and watched him grow up into the beautiful grown child that he is now...
I gently kiss under Michael's tattoo on their wrist. I know that won't wash it away, but I want to pretend that it is not there anymore... I want to focus on what's good and what is making me happy right now...
I then nuzzled Michael's wrist lovingly and held it against my face closely as I looked down at Alex with a small and sweet smile. I am so fucking happy to have my entire family back... my heart feels so full and complete.
Alex suddenly climbed up onto my back, which I was not expecting him to do. "Papa mind flayer!!"
Papa mind flayer... I do not know why but I adore that so much... Although I do truly hate my real name with all of my heart, I find it very adorable that that is how Alex is referring to me and I do not mind one bit. Besides, I am completely fine when my love calls me mind flayer...just as long as it is not that disgusting and horrible brute called the Hydra doing it then that is all that matters...
I then heard Kara speak and say something, and she was speaking to Michael...
"So you really are Michael. I'll be damned. I know so much about you. Dacre told me how amazing, sweet, kind, and wonderful you were. He really really missed you. Trust me. I have been his therapist for ten years"
.....
Know...so much about Michael??... Why the actual fuck is Kara fucking lying?? I never fucking told her anything about Michael. I only said how Michael is the beloved love of my life and I spoke about how much Michael means to me and how gorgeous they are... And how much I missed them... I never ever told Kara anything personal about Michael...
What is she trying to do???!!
Michael ends up ignoring Kara and focuses on Alex. "Alex be careful"
Why does he need to be ca- oh right, he had jumped onto my back...that is right. He could have fallen but luckily he did not because I would have panicked very very much.
I then felt Alex touch my hair. "Smell bad"
Heh...I suppose it would. I had not showered at all over this entire course of ten years...I had not felt motivated to and I did not see any reason to since my love was not here...
I heard Kara sigh as she was now talking to me. "Well Dacre, I'm guessing this is our last session"
FUCKING. FINALLY. I fucking hated it here at fucking therapy so fucking much. She never fucking helped me and honestly she was weird as fuck... I do not know why but I never ever liked Kara.... And of course I do not mean romantically, ew ew ew never. I mean as in a friendly way.
"Thank gosh- I mean- yes... Sorry- I just...the therapy never helped, but I appreciate how you listened to me for these years"
I tried to sound as nice as possible...I did not want to come across as rude or anything.
"Well goodbye, Dacre. It was very nice knowing you"
And it was not nice knowing you at all.
I didn't say anything to Kara as I looked at Michael while we were both still clinging to one another.
I still truly cannot believe that they are back and in my embrace right now... And I cannot believe that my beloved angelic child Alex is here either....
"Come on, my sweet dollface...." I walk out of the room while Eleven, Will and I believe Will's child follows.
Alex touched my hair and then smelt it right when we were out of the room place. "ICKY!!!!!"
Michael looks at Alex and laughs a little.
Gosh...their laugh is so fucking precious. I wish I could hear it forever....
"I haven't ummmmm..."
I wanted to say how I haven't showered...
"ICKY ICKY BAD SMELL" Said Alex, who is completely correct...
"You haven't showered?" Michael asks me.
"Nope...not once. I never had that motivation...and the voices never let me walk very far so I couldn't...and I didn't feel like I deserved to be clean...."
And I still do not feel like I deserve to be clean...
"Disgusting" Alex says.
"Alex!!" Michael looks at Alex with a slight stern look.
But Alex is not wrong...
"No no, he's right...it is disgusting. I know....but I just couldn't. The voices stopped me from doing mostly anything...and I barely ever slept, I just-" I then sighed with a frown. "I haven't been okay at all..."
Not one bit... And I never thought that I was going to be okay again... But it is truly a miracle that my love is now here... And I could not be happier right now.
"Wow" I hear Alex say. I am also very very happy that Alex is here...I was scared that he had never been born or that he had died... Just as I thought he was truly gone that time that Mike had forced himself on Michael to try and kill Alex all due to the Hydra reminding Mike of how Mike feels about Michael by showing up to him in the uosidedown...
"Okay well when we get home shower" Michael says.
"Will you come with me baby?" I really want Michael to shower with me...I miss the times when we would do showering together...I do not like doing it on my own....so I would prefer to be doing it with my love.
"Me too" Alex says. Which I will be more than happy to help shower him.
"Sure I will"
"Thank you my lo-" I suddenly hear a voice in my head...which was the Hydra...I heard his nasty and terrifying laughter echoing through my head as he spoke in a hoarse and cruel mocking tone.
"Michael is not here you fool! You're having another one of your illusions! They aren't really here! You're delusional! Look at yourself! You're pathetic for truly thinking they're here. They're gone forever. They will never return."
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!!! WHY THE FUCK IS THE HYDRA FUCKING LYING?! MICHAEL IS LITERALLY HERE... THEY DIDNT FUCKINF FADE AWAY WHEN I HAD TOUCHED THEIR FACE SO THEY ARE HERE!!!!
".....shut...up....please... They are really here... It is not an illusion!!!" Why the fuck can't he just fucking leave me the fuck alone!!!!
"Mama who is he talking to?" Oh my sweet Alex...you do not want to know....
Michael frowns as they began to nuzzle me, which calmed me down right away. Their touch always calms me down no matter what... "Is it his voice?"
"Yes...it's him most of the time and he never shuts up....and sometimes it's Henry and sometimes it's Mike....but it's usually him and he talks for most hours of the day and screams and laughs and taunts me and blames me...."
"Who's voice??" Alex asked.
"God I did not miss hearing Mike and Henry's name"
Oh no.... Now I feel bad. I should not have said that in front of my love...
I look down. "I'm sorry...."
The useless fucking Hydra speaks in my head again. "Well good going mind flayer!!! Michael now hates you after saying Mike and Henry's names!!! Good job!!!"
SHUT. UP!!!!!
".......oh my god stop!!!! He doesn't hate me because I said the names!!!"
"Why don't you ask him then you coward?" The Hydra says.
Ugh... I fucking want this fucking brute gone from my fucking head....I hope Michael does not actually hate me...
I look at Michael. "Do you hate me because I said their names??...."
"Mama what's wrong with papa mind flayer?"
"No I would never hate you love, I promise"
That just warms my heart so so fucking much... The fact that they say this even after the horrible things that I have done in the past.... It makes me love them even more.... I love them so so fucking much. So so much... And now they're here again with me...
I start tearing up as I looked at Michael. "My love..."
"Papa mind flayer you are strange"
Michael suddenly kissed me and I immediately kissed back while melting into the kiss. I have missed this feeling so much... So so so much... And I know that we had already missed, but I wanted that kiss to last for longer... I want to kiss them forever ..
I then felt Alex move my hair away from my black eye. "I twin with you"
Michael gazes into both of my eyes. "Oh how I missed your beautiful eyes"
Oh. My. God.
They are being flirty. Michael is being flirty. I absolutely adore it when Michael is flirty. I absolutely adore it when Michael is doing anything. I absolutely adore Michael so so much. So so so fucking much.
I could feel myself blushing like crazy. "Oh how I missed your beautiful face, your beautiful eyes, your beautiful hair, your beautiful voice, your beautiful everything...Oh how I just missed you so so much you don't even know how much I have missed you...I missed you more and more every single day..."
I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry tears of happiness now that they were here with me again...
Michael and I nuzzle one another lovingly. It feels so amazing to be doing this again... It is the best feeling in the whole wide world... Love is the best feeling ever. The best most amazing feeling...
"Billy should be here soon to pick me up...He's the one who takes me here and picks me up in his blue vehicle"
I still do not think that Billy likes me at all though... I truly do not think he cares about me or my feelings at all and he had only taken me to this therapy place to try and get me to shut up... And I do love Billy, I truly do... And I wish he would respect me so we could actually get along...
"Papa mind flayer you smell so bad"
"Blue??" Michael asks with a confused tone.
Maybe they do not know that Billy's vehicle thing is the blue color, I do not know. "Yes, his vehicle is blue and it plays voices and sounds called the radio music"
Which some of the voices and sounds of the radio music is very very lovely. Especially the sounds and voices about romance...Those heavily remind me of Michael.
"I thought his car was black"
Black? I do not think that it is black...I swore that I had seen the blue color on Billy's vehicle car thing...I do not know...
"No lovey, it is-" Before I could finish my sentence, Billy walked inside of the building place........