Downton Abbey,
July 1920
Matthew ran his hand over his face and watched Jarvis and Lord Grantham leave the library. His frustrations had boiled over and, though he regretted raising his voice, he did not regret the sentiment behind his words. It was like trying to break a brick wall with your bare fists. Matthew would not give up, but he was far too riled up at the moment to continue work. He took a deep breath and looked out the window at the greenery outside. Perhaps he could take Thomas to the meadows again, to get away from Downton — even if just for the afternoon.
"Mr Crawley." Mr Carson said as he entered the room. "Telephone call for you."
"Thank you Mr Carson" Matthew said and with a sigh he turned his heel and walked towards the telephone in the entrance hall.
"Matthew!" John's voice came through the speaker. "How are you over there in your grand house?"
Matthew let out a chuckle and pinched the bridge of his nose "It's a house with a lot of grand opinions and battles."
"Seems like you need a break, does it not?" John said and then Matthew heard Harvey shout; 'Manchester awaits, my friend!'
"Yes Harvey, I'm about to get there — " John shushed Harvey " — with your birthday coming up tomorrow, if it's not too short of a notice, what do you say about celebrating it here with two of your oldest friends?"
Matthew felt a great relief from hearing this. It would be rude to decline an invite and it was a perfect excuse. Besides, Sybbie's baptism was not until after the weekend so he would not miss it.
"I would be delighted." Matthew accepted.
"Perfect, you shall come and stay in my abode — and bring your valet." John said and Matthew could basically hear the smirk in his voice. "You need to be dressed appropriately for the festivities that will take place."
"I shall make sure to bring him — it is very short notice but we shall catch the train tomorrow" Matthew said "Good day, John — give my regards to Harvey lurking in the background."
He put the receiver back down and spun around on the spot to march up the stairs and ring for Thomas to join him in his room. But he was met with Mr Carson who had, unknowingly to Matthew, been standing there.
"Taking a trip, Mr Crawley?" Carson asked and raised his eyebrow "And Mr Barrow is coming with you?"
"Yes, Mr Carson — I have been invited by my dear friends to Manchester for my birthday, and since you are here — could you call for Thomas to come to my room?" Matthew said and then his eyes went wide from his slip up.
"Thomas, Mr Crawley?" Mr Carson said and stared at Matthew.
"Mr Barrow, I mean — oh for heaven's sake, will you just send for him?" Matthew grunted.
"Mr Barrow is currently in the village with James, I was under the impression he had been given the afternoon off by you." Mr Carson said sternly with a disapproving look.
"Oh — " Matthew said and didn't try to sound as surprised as he was " — well yes, I completely forgot, he will have to pack my suitcases during supper then." He said and then retreated to his room regardless with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Why had Thomas taken the afternoon off without telling him? And why had he taken Jimmy to the village?
There it was again, that ghastly and unwanted feeling of jealousy. Matthew didn't know how many times Thomas had to reassure him that he would never cast him away, especially not for Jimmy — and further more, Jimmy clearly was not like him and Thomas. Thomas had told him about O'Brien and her plan, and how he had told her that he held no interest in the footman.
Matthew entered his room and shut the door.
So perhaps this jealousy was due to his own insecurities and not the fear of losing Thomas to Jimmy. Matthew was turning 35 after all, nearing 40, and Thomas had yet to turn 30. Perhaps he was concerned that when he became older, when his skin wrinkled and when his hair turned grey, would he still be attractive in Thomas' eyes? It could also be karma; that it was Matthew's turn to suffer through jealousy since he had caused Thomas such intense jealousy with Lavinia.
Matthew looked himself in the mirror and ran a hand through his blonde locks then shook his head. "You're acting ridiculous again, Matthew Crawley, you jealous old sod." He said to himself and then looked outside his window. Matthew chuckled and shook his head before going to his dresser and began laying out clothes to be packed; including Thomas' white tie he had purchased for his lover last time their feet had grazed Manchester's streets. As fast as the jealousy had come it had now vanished. Matthew's mind was left with nothing but joy over the prospects of liberation that the city of Manchester offered the two of them.
Downton Village,
July 1920
O'Brien stood outside the village hospital, clutching her purse, and with a deep breath she walked inside. She knew what she needed to say, she knew how she needed to act, and she had made sure to sleep very little during the night; so she now carried heavy bags under her eyes.
There was a nurse that greeted her "Can I help you, Ms?"
"I was looking for Doctor Clarkson, if he is available." O'Brien told the nurse.
"I think he might, you can go to the office — it's a pretty slow day." The nurse said and pointed towards the stairs.
O'Brien gave a nod and made her way up the steps, across the wing, and towards the doctor's office but before she entered she extracted a menthol stick, taken from her ladyship's room, and dabbed it underneath her eyes. In just the matter of seconds they felt irritated, watery, and some tears formed in her eyes — O'Brien was ready for the performance she had planned out.
The lady's maid knocked on the office door and Doctor Clarkson asked them to come inside.
"Miss O'Brien — " He said in surprise but offered her a seat. " — what can I help you with? Something for Lady Grantham?"
O'Brien shook her head and sat down. "I'm not here for her ladyship, Doctor Clarkson."
Clarkson now saw the woman properly and he furrowed his eyebrows "Miss O'Brien, you look absolutely exhausted and pale, is everything alright?"
She shook her head again and took out a handkerchief "I'm'fraid not, Doctor Clarkson — " She said with a fake sniffle and wiped her eyes and nose " — there has not been much sleep for me since Lady Sybil." She said and dabbed her eyes again "I stay up worrying for her ladyship, I have not slept in many days."
"Miss O'Brien, that is no good for you — " Doctor Clarkson stated the obvious and then looked at O'Brien's eyes. " — have you tried warm milk before bed to aid with sleeping?"
O'Brien nodded "I have, but nothing seems to help and I was wondering if you knew another solution, Doctor."
Clarkson tapped his fingertips together and contemplated for a moment before he stood up and walked over to the medicine cabinet in his office and took out a small pill bottle. He walked over to O'Brien and held it out for her.
"This is a barbiturate , pills to aid your sleep —" Clarkson said "— take half a pill before bed, and if that does not help then take the other half."
O'Brien inspected the bottle and she felt incredibly smug on the inside. "And if one is not enough, Doctor Clarkson?"
He raised his eyebrow at O'Brien's direction "I could not imagine a woman your size would need more than one, but I would absolutely not recommend more than two." He shook his head "and alcohol has proven to increase the effect — so be careful with them, Miss O'Brien."
"Thank you, Doctor Clarkson — " O'Brien said and put the pill bottle in her purse and stood up " — you have helped me more than you know" She bid the doctor goodbye and walked back outside with a smirk growing on her lips. That had been easy, her acting had been better than she had thought. All that was left now was to find the perfect opportunity and show Thomas that her plans were far from pathetic. She would make sure to erase the smugness off Thomas' face — once and for all.
"Wonder why O'Brien was at the hospital." Jimmy said to Thomas as the valet stepped out from the photographer shop.
Thomas raised his eyebrow in confusion but Jimmy motioned with his head towards the lady's maid walking up the road from the hospital with a grin on her face.
"No idea Jimmy, but come along now — before Mr Carson has a fit over us being gone for too long." Thomas said and placed the parcel under his arm and began marching up the road, passing the pub and the bridge over the river that was next to it.
"What you got there, Thomas?" Jimmy asked curiously and looked at the envelope "A photograph for someone?"
"Mind your own business, footman." Thomas said in a joking tone of voice. "A man has to have his secrets."
"For a sweetheart?" Jimmy asked with a grin.
Thomas shook his head. "No, Jimmy."
The footman furrowed his eyebrows. "Why is that? You ain't an ugly bloke, and you are a valet — girls must be swarming you."
Thomas let out a laugh and shook his head "Jimmy, where would I have the time to find a sweetheart?"
Jimmy shrugged "I don't know, but that Maud is pretty decent looking, is she not?"
Thomas frowned and shook his head "I'd stay away from her, trust me on that — and there is no one in the servants halls that has my interest." because the man I love is upstairs, Thomas added inside his mind. "Except Mrs Patmore, perhaps, she has quite the temper and I like that." He joked and the two men let out a laugh and continued to walk towards Downton Abbey.
Thomas and Jimmy made their way inside of Downton Abbey just in the nick of time for Jimmy to change back to his livery as it was time to set up for dinner. Thomas sat down and put the parcel upon the table as he waited for that sweet sound of the bell from Matthew's room to ring; he missed just the mere glance of his darling — their embraces in the morning had been too brief.
Thomas laid the parcel upon the table and lit up a cigarette just as Mrs Hughes walked in and sat down next to Thomas to rest her aching feet.
"You alright, Mrs Hughes?" The valet asked.
"Yes, thank you Mr Barrow — though I can't say the same for Mr Carson." She said and shook her head before leaning in closer and whispering to Thomas "He is in a state over the baptism, I told him that it's none of his business and it's Tom's child." Mrs Hughes shook her head "Stubborn man" She said but Thomas could have sworn he saw the corner of her mouth twitch as if she wished to smile at the thought of the butler.
Finally the sweetest of sounds reached Thomas' ears and he put the cigarette out to make his way upstairs to Matthew's room. Every day he took these steps, every day the routine was the same — and Thomas absolutely relished in it. It still was rather funny to him how no one had found their behaviour odd; he was quite pleased with how well they managed to act around other people — and the evidence in that was that no gossip from Cora or Robert had reached O'Brien's ears. If the lady's maid had suspected anything she would not have pushed Jimmy onto Thomas.
The valet let out a snort as he walked into Matthew's bedroom; O'Brien's plan had been incredible stupid.
"What is so funny, my darling?" Matthew said from his bed where he stood with a half-packed suitcase.
Thomas raised his eyebrow in confusion "Just O'Brien's sodding plan — are you going somewhere?" He asked his lover.
Matthew pursed his lips together and smiled widely as he spun around to meet Thomas. "I was planning on telling you earlier, but Mr Carson told me that you were in the village with Jimmy — "
" — Matthew, are you — "
Matthew shook his head and then shrugged " — no, this is not about jealousy, will you let me finish my love?"
Thomas walked over to the suitcase and he then saw his own white tie gently placed upon the bed " — Matthew?" He glanced to his side and met the summer sky blue eyes that beamed with excitement.
"John called me, he and Harvey invited the two of us on very short notice to celebrate my birthday in Manchester and I hoped you'd find it appro — " But Matthew didn't have a chance to finish his sentence as Thomas gripped him and crashed their lips together in a fierce kiss.
Matthew absolutely melted and smiled against Thomas' mouth. He threw his arms around Thomas' neck, and Thomas' hands held onto his lower back. They stayed closely pressed together and their lips moving, their tongues entwined, for quite awhile before pulling away once their breath was completely lost.
Thomas' tightened his hold on Matthew and his palms roamed up underneath his suit jacket. He pressed their foreheads together and whispered "I hope you understand that I feel it highly appropriate to go, my darling."
"I was hoping you'd think it so." Matthew said back in an equally low voice and then he licked his lips where he could still taste the traces of Thomas' kiss. "We shall leave tomorrow, so make a hurry in packing tonight; I'll personally bring your white tie."
"I am glad that I did not get the news earlier in the day, because I would have walked with a bounce in my step, a smile on my lips, and Jimmy would have pestered me about it." Thomas said.
"Speaking of — " Matthew said.
" — I thought you just said you were not jealous again." Thomas said with a snort.
"No — I mean, perhaps I was a bit." Matthew admitted but added quickly " — but I think that has to do with my own insecurities rather than me actually believing you'd leave me for him."
Thomas let out a laugh and moved his hands to cup Matthew's cheeks. With their eyes locked in a gaze the valet said "What insecurities could you possibly carry, my love? When my eyes look upon you, I cannot fathom how a man like you even exists."
Matthew rolled his eyes but couldn't help the blush upon his face "Even as I grow older, my hair grows grey and my skin becomes wrinkled?"
"Hm — I didn't think about that." Thomas pretended to contemplate it for a moment but then shook his head with a smile "Don't be foolish Matthew, you know my love for you is not because of your appearance — I should be insulted you'd think me so shallow." Thomas let out a chuckle "Are you having some form of crisis about turning 35?"
"Oh, sod off." Matthew said with laughter in his voice and kissed his lover again. "I was simply going to give you cheek because you told Carson I had given you permission to take the afternoon off."
Thomas smirked "Oh, was I not allowed to? How terrible of me, Mr Crawley."
Matthew shook his head "Sometimes it's so evident that you have not changed from your footman days, and I have no complaints about that." Matthew then added "But what did you do in the village?"
"You will find out tomorrow, my dar—" Thomas' eyes then went wide "Bloody hell!" He shouted and stepped away from Matthew and towards the door.
"What? What is wrong?" Matthew asked in a panic.
"I left it downstairs! On the table." Thomas said "I — before someone sees it."
"Go, I'll dress myself — go" Matthew urged his lover on. He didn't know what ' it' was but clearly it was something inappropriate for the eyes of the servants.
"What do you think it is?" Mrs Patmore asked and looked at the parcel upon the table.
"I can't say Mrs Patmore, but I don't think we — " Daisy said but Alfred cut her off.
"Oi, Jimmy, you were in the village with Mr Barrow, do you know what it is?" The footman asked the other footman.
"No, I don't know — he just came out of the photographer shop." Jimmy shrugged. "Come on Alfred, we have to finish setting up dinner."
"Photographer?" Mrs Patmore snorted "What on earth would Mr Barrow need a photographer for?"
"To take a photo, Mrs Patmore?" Ivy asked which made Mrs Patmore roll her eyes.
"Of course I know that, girl, but why would Mr Barrow need his photo taken?" She said and kept staring curiously at the parcel.
"Maybe we should just have a peek — " Maud suggested and reached for the parcel.
"You will do nothing of the sorts, Maud!" Mrs Hughes barged in from her sitting room and barked at her and snatched the parcel up. "You all ought to keep your noses out of other people's business." She gave them all a glare and they all scattered.
"Foolish lad" She mumbled and made her way to the staircase to go up to the servants quarters and leave it in Thomas room, but she ran into the valet on the landing.
"Thomas Barrow" She said gravely but the valet just rushed past her without a word. "BARROW! Are you looking for this?" She shouted after him which caused him to stop in his steps and look up at Mrs Hughes holding out the parcel.
"Mrs Hughes, you have saved me — again." He hurried up the steps and took the parcel from her hands. "I must have gotten too excited when — " Thomas hung his head and let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Mrs Hughes."
"It's alright lad, just be careful will you — I'm far too fond of you to see anything bad happen to you." She said with a small smile and patted his shoulder. "You know everyone here is nosy; so very nosy."
Thomas broke into a smile again. "Well, isn't it lucky then that we will be in Manchester tomorrow."
"I heard Mr Carson mentioning that Matthew had a phone call from Manchester — I take it the parcel is for his birthday?" Mrs Hughes asked and looked at it.
"It is, Mrs Hughes." Thomas said and untied the twined string then he removed the paper before opening the box and showed Mrs Hughes what was inside.
"Thomas, it would be a great shock for everyone to know that you are by far the sweets man among us sometimes — that is absolutely lovely." Mrs Hughes said as she gazed down on the gift Thomas had gotten for his sweetheart; and she knew it must have cost him quite a lot of his savings.
"I am terribly sorry that I am so late." Matthew said as he hurried inside of the drawing room where the Crawleys' and Tom all awaited him. He walked over to his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek and then over to Tom and gave him a pat on the back. "I was held up with working."
"Are you about to give Jarvis and me more to think about?" Robert asked; clearly still upset from the heated meeting earlier — but he seemed to regret his tone instantly. "I do apologise, dear chap — I apologise."
"It's quite alright Ro — " Matthew said when Tom interrupted.
"I happen to agree with you, Matthew, modernising is the future" He said and gave Matthew a smile.
"Do you know anything about farming?" Robert asked and looked somewhat disapprovingly at Tom — another thing that had upset Lord Grantham, that his granddaughter would be catholic.
"As it happens, I do — my grandfather was a sheep farmer back in Ireland."
Robert scoffed and was about to say something when Mrs Crawley interrupted.
"So, Matthew, are you coming by for some tea tomorrow — how about a birthday dinner here at Downton?" She suggested.
"Ah — about that." Matthew said "I must apologise, I got a last minute call from Manchester —" He said and all eyes turned to him; especially Mary's. " — John and Harvey invited me, last minute, to a celebration with them and I felt awfully rude to not accept."
"To Manchester?" Robert said "Is that really appropriate to leave and celebrate?"
"That sounds like a fun time, Matthew." Tom said with a smile and raised his whiskey glass to his friend and when everyone turned their back he leaned in and whispered "Don't you ever wish to just cut and run, like me?"
Matthew let out a laugh and raised his eyebrows "I could not, I hold them all too dear to my heart — even when they are too stuck in the old ways sometimes." He said and looked at Lord Grantham. But sometimes Matthew wished that he and Thomas could just leave all of this behind.