ONE MONTH LATER:
*JAY'S POV*
"Nath, do you know where Katy went this morning?" I shouted through his bedroom door.
I woke up this morning to find that Katy had gone somewhere; without even leaving a note for us to tell us where she was or when she was going to be back.
Which wasn't like her. She always told us that she was going out if she was going to be up before us. It's just how it had worked and I'm sure she wouldn't change that without a good explanation.
"I've got no idea mate. But she hasn't been herself for the past week now..." he replied.
"Yeah. I've noticed that as well..." I sighed before walking off back towards my bedroom. I wasn't worried about her because she was old enough to look after herself. But I did want to know where she was since this was totally out of character for Katy.
I grabbed my phone from beside the bed and decided that I was going to text her. She might reply, she might not. But it's worth a shot and would answer my question. And I would know if she was alright.
To K-
Hey babe, just wondered where you went this morning? Hope you're alright, see you later. Love you xxx
I pressed send before throwing my phone back on my bed, waiting to see if she would reply to me or if she was just going to ignore me.
*KATY'S POV*
I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket as I sat on the ground. Tears rolling down my cheeks at the same time.
I knew it was going to be from Jay or Nathan wondering where I was. I didn't tell them about today and I didn't want to tell them where I was going. This was something that I needed to do on my own and this was something that I had to think about on my own.
It wasn't the sort of thing you told everyone you meet. Even if you love them and trust them with everything.
From McGuiness-
Hey babe, just wondered where you went this morning? Hope you're alright, see you later. Love you xxx
To McGuiness-
Don't worry about me, I'm fine. See you later, love you too. And don't forget that you and Nath have to be at Radio One for 12.30 ;)xxx
"You know, you should probably tell him the truth..." I heard someone say from behind me. I turned around to see Tom and my brother both stood there with a look of pain on their face.
"He doesn't need to know. I don't want to tell him that I'm here!" I replied, as I wiped the tears away from my eyes at the same time.
"Why didn't you tell any of us that this was today?" Tom asked.
"I didn't want any of you worrying about me. I just wanted some time to myself for a while..."
"But Katy, if you love Jay then he is going to worry about you. But that doesn't mean you can't tell him anything!" Tom stated, and he was right. But I just didn't know how to tell him.
"She would be proud of you. You know that right?" James said, pulling me in for a hug at the same time. I just rested my head on his shoulder and cried silently. Letting the tears fall onto the back of his shirt.
"I'm sure she wouldn't be. Who would ever be proud of me, I'm just the disappointment of the family..." I sighed.
"Katy, don't you ever think like that. Paige loved you and she would be proud of you; making something of yourself and even dating an international pop star!" James laughed.
"Difference being, I'm sure Paige would know who the hell they actually were..." I chuckled back, because it was probably true. Paige spent her life listening to music and knew of pretty much every artist that was out there; she would sometimes sing to me when I was upset.
That was one of the things I missed the most. She was the best sister and I missed her more than anything right now.
I would give anything to just have another hug with her. To just hear her voice again. To have another conversation with her. I then remembered back to what I read on the back of the picture a few months ago now;
You're never alone, I'm always there. All my love Paige x
I just wished that was true, because I feel more alone than ever at the moment.
"Well, I'm sure if Paige was still here, she would want you to be happy. Does Jay make you happy?" James asked.
"He makes me feel the happiest I've felt in a long time. He's one of the only people to not care about my past and just love me for who I am..."
"There you go then..." James smiled.
"What do you mean?" I asked, slightly confused as to what he was going on about.
"Think about it, when was the last time you were happy? Like truly happy?"
"It's been a while now. It was probably the New Year before Paige died!" I shrugged.
"Look, if Jay makes you happy, then don't throw all that away because you want to go through this all on your own!" James said and he was right. I was going to throw everything away because I didn't want to tell Jay where I had gone today.
"Tonight, we're going to take you out and we're going to celebrate in style! What do you say?" Tom said excitedly, as he looked at me with a cheesy grin on his face.
"Sounds like a good idea to me..." I smiled back at him.
"So, celebrating Paige's 23rd birthday the way that she would do. By getting totally smashed..." James laughed.
Paige did enjoy a good party. I remember her 21st birthday; it was one hell of a night. She drank way too much, remembered absolutely nothing the following morning but she knew it had been one hell of a night. And it was always a good laugh. Made me smile whenever she reminded me about it and asked me about what happened.
But it was all good fun.
"It's been a while. And people will finally get to see you out with Jay..." Tom replied.
"Yeah. It has been a while, so we had better make tonight count..." I stated and, with one last look at my sister's grave, we left the graveyard. I was now smiling because I had my brother and my bestfriend with me, which made me realise that everything wasn't as bad as I made it out to be.
You could make a good thing out of something bad. And that's just what we did.
**
"Jay, I'm back..." I shouted through the house as I closed the door behind me, throwing my keys onto the table and kick my shoes off as I walked through the house.
"Where have you been then?" He asked with a smile on his face.
"I went to see Paige..."
"Oh right!" was all he managed to say. I'm guessing he didn't really know what to say since I hadn't really spoken about her with him, other than the night I told him about her and how she died.
But apart from that, I hadn't really mentioned her. It was like she never even existed and was just something that I imagined.
Which wasn't the case.
"We're going out tonight. It was Tom's suggestion..." I smilled as I went into the living room.
"Why are we going out?"
"Because Paige would have been 23 today, so we're going to celebrate her birthday. Even James is coming!" I giggled because James never really went out. This was a very rare occassion that my brother was going out drinking and I was going to make sure he enjoyed himself.
"Do the others know about this?"
"Nope, not yet. Tom is going to tell them all..." I replied.
"Have you got anything to wear?" Jay smiled as we walked into the living room together.
The television was off and Jay's phone was lying on the table. I could see that his background was of me and him after he took me out on the town for the first time with Nathan. We were stood at the bar, Jay had his arm around my shoulder and we were basically holding each other up. And, just hidden behind us, you could see half of Nathan where he tried, and failed, to photo bomb. It was an awful picture, but it was cute at the same time.
My background wasn't as bad. We were sat in the park as the sun was setting; I was sat between Jay's leg with my head resting on his chest and he had his arms wrapped around me with a smile on his face. Tom decided to steal my phone and capture the moment, but then Jay decided to ruin it at the moment Tom took the picture by laughing and placing a kiss on my cheek at the same time. I was in hysterics at the time. But I liked it and thought it just showed the type of people me and Jay were.
"Not really. I'll just wear something from my wardrobe..."
"No. If we're celebrating in style, then you're going to look the part as well!"
"What?"
"I'm taking you shopping and we're going to find you the perfect dress. I'm going to make everyone jealous of you and make sure they know you're only mine..." he chuckled and i don't think I really want to know what was going through his head at the time.
I was happier not really knowing about that. I might have hit him if I did know.
"But Jay-"
"Yes, I know you hate shopping and you hate it when I buy you things. But I think I'm allowed to spoil my girlfriend every once in while, aren't I?" I smiled at me before placing a kiss on my cheek.
"Katy, you won't win an argument against Jay. Just let him take you out this once..." Nathan said, appearing behind us. I didn't even know that he was at home, I thought that he was out with Max, Siva and Nareesha. But guess I was wrong about that once since he's here.
"Yeah. I agree with Nath, for once!" Jay said smugly since he never agreed with Nathan. He was always trying to wind him up and annoy him, which was fun for me to watch but not so fun for Nathan.
I often got shouted out for laughing and encouraging Jay to wind him up.
But Jay doesn't need any encouragement.
He just does what he wants, when he wants. And nothing stops him from doing that. Not even me.
"Bloody hell Jay, are you ill? Need a doctor? Maybe some more sleep?" Nathan asked, trying his best to contain his laughter.
"Shut it Sykes, or there will be trouble..."
"Ah, I love you two!" I chuckled.
"But you love me more, right?" Jay asked, clearly unsure of what I was going to say in response to him.
"Nope. I love Nathan more, sorry James!" I laughed.
"Love you too Katy..." Nathan replied, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me from behind to give me one of them weird hugs that people give.
You know that one that I mean.
"And when were you going to tell me about this then?" Jay answered, pretending that he was angry about the whole thing.
But I could see right through him and I knew that he was finding it difficult not to laugh at us.
And that's one of the many things that I loved about him.
"Well, we weren't planning on telling you at all really..." Nathan replied before I had a chance to.
"And I thought we were all friends here!" Jay stated as he took a quick photo of me and Nathan while we were in the middle of the hug.
I'm sure it was a lovely picture.
"Right, I want one of all three of us now. Don't have many of them..." I smiled. Jay and Nathan both agreeing with me.
I moved up so that I was closer to Jay, his arm around my shoulder and my head leaning slightly on his chest. Nathan was stood behind us, right in the middle so you could just see him above Jay's curly mess which he called hair.
I got my phone in the right place so you could see us all. It was the best picture I've ever taken; even Nathan and Jay agreed with me.
"So, you're going to let me take you shopping then?" Jay smiled.
"Yeah. Just this once, but never again..." I giggled in reply before I looked at my phone again, changing my background picture to that of me, Jay and Nathan.
I thought it was an awesome picture. And it was nice to have one of us all.
"Send me that picture?" Nathan said as he moved from where he was.
"I'll tweet it to you..."
"You're not trying to prove people wrong are you, by showing that you're still with us despite what everyone else said?" Jay chuckled. He knew what I was like and he knew that he was right; I'd had enough of people always telling me I was useless and I was just using Jay for his fame or for his money.
I wanted to prove to people that they were wrong and I could be happy with my changed life.
I had Jay. He made me happy and he helped me become a better person; I'll never be able to thank him for that because nothing I ever do will even come close showing him how thankful I actually am.
I was, for the first time in a long time, in love with the perfect man.
***
Hello there people,
So, this is the last part because I feel like it's dragging on and I don't really have any more ideas. I hope you like this part and it wasn't too boring for you all.
I just want to thank all of you for reading and sticking with me, even if I take forever updating sometimes.
All your comments make me smile and I love reading them every single time. And thank you to everyone that voted for this, that also makes me happy and I love you all for that.
Hope you've enjoyed the story and it wasn't too boring for you all.
Love you all,
Em:)xx