June 25, 2002 |31|
Martha laid the tomato and mozzarella slices across the three plates in alternating spirals. Next to her, James sliced leftover grilled chicken into bite sized pieces.
"What an amazing story," he said. "When I came to, for good, in my second life, my mom and I were in a pet store and I knocked over a fish tank. I remember feeling as confused and helpless as the scattered goldfish suffocating on the floor must have. Then I bolted out of the store and into the street, screaming gibberish, and caused an accident. I'm so glad Sera had you. Sorry I wasn't there to help?"
"Well, that you couldn't have known and this you was there to help. So... you're forgiven?" She reached across him to grab the olive oil.
"Basil first. Basil first," he corrected.
Martha stared at him a moment. I've made a Caprese salad before...
James lifted his hands. "You've made a Caprese salad before."
As she spread the basil and sprinkled the oregano, both fresh from her herb garden, she asked, "Are you sure she'll like this? She hasn't before."
"I think so. Guess there's only one way to find out." He added the chicken to the plates in the open spaces Martha had left, then walked to the edge of the kitchen and shouted toward the garage, "Ser-Bear?"
"Yeah?" Serafina responded.
"Lunch!"
"Kay!" A few moments later, they entered the kitchen. "Do I smell Mom's Caprese salad?"
"That you do," James confirmed.
"I have the bessst parents in the whole... wide... worrrrld!" they sang as they took their seat at the table.
Martha chuckled then added the oil, salt, and pepper to finish. She brought the three plates to the table, then she and James took their seats across from their daughter.
Serafina bowed their head, brought their hands together, and began whispering beneath their breath. Martha and James – an agnostic and atheist, respectively – stared at Serafina and then at each other. Serafina raised their head and happily began to cut into a tomato.
"Were you... praying just now?" James asked.
"Yep," Serafina responded as they chewed their food. "So good, Mom. It's the freshness of the oregano. Muah." They gave their mother the chef's kiss gesture.
"Thank you," Martha said. "But..."
"But yeah," Serafina continued, their voice pitched and squeaking as one yet to begin kindergarten would. "The praying is weird because neither of you are religious."
"And you are?" James asked.
"Kind of. Please, you two, eat before the oil wilts the basil. I promise I'll explain. Just eat."
Martha and James looked at one another again, then took their daughter's suggestion.
"I guess you could say..." Serafina paused to finish chewing and swallowing their food. "I believe in religion but not God."
"Oh, okay," James said. "Nothing unusual or confusing about that."
"Ha, ha, Dad," Serafina said, then took a drink of water. "I mean, it's always possible that there's a God hiding behind all of the evidence. All powerful beings can do whatever they want. Maybe they intentionally set it up to look like they don't exist. Or maybe their intentions are beyond our ability to comprehend. But all the evidence, step by step, discovery by discovery, sure points to the lack of one in any traditional sense. And I severely doubt that, if one existed, they would be so insecure as to obsess over whether or not we praise them, condemning us to an eternity of suffering if we don't worship them perfectly. Sounds more like a petulant influencer blocking all the haters than a benevolent, supreme being." They paused to eat a piece of chicken. "It makes much more sense – to me, at least – that man created God, not the other way around. And that begs the question..." They scooped a mouthful of mozzarella into their mouth and waited for their parents.
"Which... question?" James asked after a moment.
Then clarity struck Martha. "Why," she stated.
Serafina smiled and nodded to their mother and Martha saw a twinkle of pride in their eyes. "You got it, Mom. Why did man create God?"
"I could venture a couple of theories," James said, inching forward to the edge of his seat. "But I would much rather hear yours."
"Okay," they said, setting their silverware down on their plate. "First – it gave us answers to the mysteries of the natural world. But since then, science has solved most of them, so we don't miss that. We don't need a God to explain why a volcano erupts or to grace us with rain for our crops.
"Second – it gave us moral dogma. Religions collect and agree upon a set of ambitious moral principles – something greater than our animal nature – and it's been instrumental in developing a civilization mostly free of brutality. This is where religion's retreat begins to cause trouble. Secular morality exists in abundance, but it's scattered, interspersed with hedonism and often overpowered by ever expanding, amoral capitalism.
"And third – it gave us the warm comfort of contrived meaning. Life is too much of a struggle to withstand if we're nothing but walking corpses without purpose. And this is atheism's greatest failure. It hasn't provided much of any replacement for this loss. It's like atheism broke the masses out of a prison only to leave them penniless and alone to starve and freeze at the side of the road."
"Jeez, don't hold back," James said.
"Oh, you'll be alright, Mr Atheist," Martha teased, delicately patting him on the back.
"Poor Daddy got his feelings hurt," Serafina added.
"Oh... this?" James said, pointing back and forth between the smirking mother and daughter. "This is troubling."
"Anyway," Serafina said. "I could cite statistics correlating a rise in depression and crime with decreasing religious participation, lingering variables be damned, but it's more than that. It's part of who we are." They took another bite of chicken, then continued. "Think about it. The earliest evidence of religion dates back to the Paleolithic era – some 50,000 years ago. Atheism reached the mainstream in the mid-20th century." They lifted and lowered their hands like a balancing scale. "50 years... 50,000 years... Not really a contest. So whether we like it or not, religion is wired into our psychology."
Serafina paused, working something out in their head as they chewed their food. "Let's say I decided, on principle, that I wanted to become a vegetarian." They took a bite of tomato. "Because meat is murder."
"That would be a valid choice," Martha said.
"Totally," Serafina agreed. "But just because I come to that intellectual conclusion, doesn't change the fact that my body needs protein. My moral enlightenment wouldn't change how my cells have evolved to process nutrients over hundreds of thousands of years. So we would supplement – beans, nuts, seeds, et cetera." They paused to eat the last piece of chicken from their plate. "It's no different."
Martha turned to James who was nodding vaguely with a giant smile on his face. He'd barely touched his lunch. She looked down and neither had she.
Serafina continued. "Maybe it's where we're headed eventually. Maybe evolution can turbo charge itself and only need five or six hundred years to phase it out, but in the meantime, well... As you know, we don't have five or six hundred years..."
The table grew silent. Serafina was right. If Dr Tanaka was to be trusted, the human race was less than 200 years from destroying itself. A truck drove past the house and a breeze blew through the front window. Martha thought back – Hawaii, Nan, Ramirez... Had she discussed her descent into nihilism with her daughter? Has Sera gone through one of her own? She must have...
Presently, Serafina took a drink of water and cleared their throat. "It's not about denying reality for the sake of willful ignorance. The Scientific Method is half of our salvation. But we need some kind of bridge while we continue to expand our insight yet still require spiritual sustenance – kind of a half-way house until we get back on our feet. Sorry, I keep jumping between metaphors."
"That's okay," James said. "Though rumor has it, your mother hates them."
"Only ones based on highway traffic patterns," Martha countered.
"Have you heard my traffic metaphor?" James asked Serafina. "You see, traffic jams occur because-"
"Yes," they answered quickly. "I've heard it. More than once. Don't need to hear it again, thank you."
"Metaphors aside," Martha said, holding in a laugh. "How do we do it? You seem to have worked out a healthy balance for yourself. But how do we translate that for the masses, currently starving to death on the side of the road because of cold-hearted atheists like your father?"
"Mom!" Serafina scolded.
"Sorry, couldn't help myself."
"It's okay, Ser-Bear. This is how your mother flirts."
"Oh, well in that case... ew. To answer your question, Mom, we have done and will do lots of stuff. But the most significant effort we undertake is teaching it in schools."
"Teaching what?" James asked. "Teaching religion? You're kidding."
"Not at all. We teach the Bible, but also the Quran, and the Torah. Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist texts... Nietzsche, Sartre, Camus... All of them and more in a comprehensive curriculum stretched across K-12. We don't take sides but differentiate belief from proof while honoring the value of each."
"Sounds outstanding, but I can think of a dozen special interest groups that would be apoplectic over this," James said. "How the heck do we convince them all?"
"With a great deal of finesse," Serafina answered. "But I don't want to get into it now. There will be a time for all of that."
"Aww," James protested.
"Sera just got here. Give her a break," Martha said.
"Thanks, Mom." They set their glass atop their plate then carried it to the sink. "That was delicious. Do you mind if I head back to the garage?"
"Not at all," Martha said. "Are you working on something?"
"It's a lego model of New Toronto, circa 2068... usually."
"No kidding?" James said eagerly. "Can we see-"
"No!" Serafina cut him off as they ran from the kitchen. "Not until it's ready! Sorry, I'm... kind of a perfectionist!" they called from the garage.
"Oh, yeah, I get it!" James called back. "Take your time!" He took a deep breath and then a bite of tomato. "It really is delicious."
"Thanks," Martha said, then took a bite of chicken to chew over her daughter's words. "Someone sure is a chip off the old block."
"Sorry?"
"Serafina – crafting metaphors just like her old man."
"Like me??" James asked with a mouthful of mozzarella. "Martha... I'm not sure you understand the overwhelming déjà vu her lecture gave me. Yes, she's in a five-year-old's body and yes, she's seen New Toronto circa 2068 whatever that is. But she is you." He set his fork down on his plate and turned his chair to her, emotion suddenly emblazoned across his face. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on."
Caught off guard, Martha blushed and fumbled comically. "Oh, well... I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, but please, do go on."
James smiled. "But I've always fallen in love with your mind. After I found you, but before you returned, I listened to you, life after life, deconstruct children's movies or dismantle a world of bad faith and every time, without fail, my heart would melt listening to your mind work." He sat back in his chair and shook his head. "I'm overcome. I don't have the words. I just... love my family so much."
Martha took his hands and pulled him to her. Then she leaned in and kissed him, pulling him closer still. The prickles down the back of her neck reminded Martha that they hadn't kissed since Serafina's rebirth so she held onto him a moment longer than necessary.
"Okay!" Serafina shouted from the garage. "The waterfront is ready if you want to see it! But I've got a tarp over the rest because the rest is not ready!"
Martha released James. "Wanna go see 2068?"
"More than anything," he said. "Well, almost anything." He kissed her one last time before the pair left to glimpse the future their daughter had created.
Author's note:
Apologies for getting religious. I mean no disrespect to those who believe or to those who don't. But it's something I struggle with myself. And I felt it was an opportunity to differentiate Sera from their parents.
Also, it kind of felt like a throwback to For Those...
Drifting Along... has a dearth of philosophical rants (for better or worse).
Thanks for reading!! Look out for part 2 tomorrow.