"Oh, hi Zuko what're you doing here?"
I looked at him curiously, I was alone in my room practicing water bending until I heard a knock at the door. It was Zuko, he was now standing in my doorway awkwardly. "I have nothing to do and you said you'd talk to me about your past." I sidestepped for him to come in and he did, my gaze followed him as he walked over to sit on a chair. "You're that interested huh?" I smiled slightly teasing him, he didn't seem to appreciate me poking fun so I quickly stopped.
I sat on my bed and faced him. I felt a little nervous talking to him about it all, I don't know how he would react and that makes me feel like I have a hole in my stomach. "Ok well uh, first off.. whatever is talked about stays strictly between us. You're forbidden from telling anyone, if you do I'll kick your ass." He rolled his eyes at me and lightly scoffed. "I've been keeping your secrets since we were little I can handle another." I cocked an eyebrow seeing if he was sure, once I noticed he was serious I told him everything.
Everything.
As I would tell him my life story I would analyze his face trying to read his expressions to know how he feels about what I say. He was quiet during the whole thing not interrupting me and storming off or turning me in which I appreciated. I just for the life of me couldn't figure out his facial expressions. They were so neutral with the slight look of 'that happened?' or 'I feel so sorry for you.'
I smiled awkwardly as I was messing with the hem of my clothing, something I picked up when I'm nervous. "You told uncle Iroh before me?" That was the first thing he said to me. I was expecting a more shocked and angry reaction with him turning me in to his father for being able to water bend but I'm presently surprised. "I'm sorry, I was just worried that you'd take it the wrong way." His expression softened as he still looked offended.
"I'm sorry my father did this to you."
I couldn't explain how shocked I was that he apologized and showed this much sympathy. Granted we've known each other for such a long time and he's always been so sweet to me but ever since his banishment he changed. It was like the old Zuko was slowly coming back to the surface. "Oh! Uhm.. you don't need to apologize, you had no part in it plus there's no need to apologize on his behalf." I awkwardly spoke out, I didn't know what to say.
"The avatar escaped!"
We heard the crewmen yelling as they ran all around alerting everyone on the ship. "What!?" Zuko yelled angrily as he abruptly stood up. He looked over at me as I stood up to help him, putting my conflicted feelings aside. "You stay here, you've been through enough stress." He rushed out my bedroom door followed by a door slam and the sounds of fire attacks. I slowly sat down on my bed feeling a little at ease knowing I didn't have to fight myself as I fought Aang.
Half an hour goes by and it's gone quiet. "I guess he escaped." I said to myself tired seeing as though it was 11:30 pm. "Sure did!" I heard an all too familiar voice cheer, I quickly sat up and turned my head towards the voice. I saw my small port hole had been opened and Aang was on the other side. "Why are you still here!? It's dangerous, leave!" I whisper yelled not wanting to get him caught.
"Are you a prisoner?" A girl pushed Aang out of the way so now she was on the other side of the port hole.
"Aang told us a lot about you but never mentioned you were cute!" A guy who looked a lot like the girl pushed his way into the port hole. Siblings.
"Oh uhm, I'm not a prisoner I'm a childhood friend of Zuko's. He's not that bad when you get to know him and his circumstance and please don't let that make you think poorly of him and I." I ramble clasping my hands together hoping for the best.
"We came to see if you were tagging along." Aang shoved his way back into the spotlight.
I was about to answer but we heard a guard yell out asking if anyone was there. "You guys need to go!" I shooed them off and they quickly flew away on a giant animal.
꧁𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚙꧂
"Ah, Iroh! Hello, how are you doing today?"
I smiled brightly as I lightly skipped down the corridor. Iroh smiled back and chuckled. "I'm doing good, I see you're in a good mood." I nodded, confirming his assumption. "I am and it's because I finally mastered a simple water bending technique. I'm proud of myself because it's hard to train around a bunch of fire." We walked down the empty corridor together as he listened to me. "Didn't your father say you're a water prodigy?" I nodded as my smile slightly faded.
"Yeah he did, but it's difficult to live up to that when I have to hide it all the time."
"You should never have to hide who you are otherwise you will never be able to meet the people who love you for you. That is why I think you should go take the avatar on his offer."
I stopped dead in my tracks shocked, I never told him about it. Though he was completely right about his advice. "How'd you know?" Iroh turned toward me and chuckled again. "I went to check on him and overheard your conversation." My eyes grew wide expressing how much I was mentally cursing myself out. "No one else had heard don't worry. Your secrets will always be safe with me." He smiled and patted my shoulder softly as he continued down the corridor to Zuko's room.
꧁𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚙꧂
We made it to Kyoshi Island where the avatar was reported. I eagerly got off the ship and went straight to the shop to browse their things. Zuko and his crew luckily were still on the ship planning things out for the element of surprise. I found a simple bracelet that was hand woven and colored red then bought immediately thinking of Zuko since it had a small wooden charm of a turtle duck. We used to always feed his turtle ducks together.
I was on my way back when I turned a corner and saw him and his troop attacking Aang and his two friends. There were so many burning buildings and people running and screaming.
꧁𝙵𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚑𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔꧂
My dad kept my face covered by his chest as he carried me, we were running to our boats to escape. "Wait, I forgot food I'll be back!" Mom called out as she turned around. I peeked my face out as much as I could and I saw her get cornered by the fire nation people. "Mommy!" I screamed as I started to cry holding my hand out for her to grab but my dad kept running. "She'll be ok honey." He spoke softly as he covered my face to protect me.
꧁𝙴𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚑𝙱𝚊𝚌𝚔꧂
My mouth started to feel dry and a lump was a the back of my throat. I felt short of air as I stumbled back unsure what to do. Should I fight? But if I fight.. who do I help? Do I help Aang or do I help Zuko? Do I run? But if I run.. where would I even go?
I felt stuck in place like I couldn't move no matter how much I wanted. I didn't realize the fight was over and someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Huh?" I mumbled looking over my shoulder seeing Aang and his friends. "Are you ok?" He asked worried, I looked down at him and nodded my head. "So do you want to come with us now?" He asked with hope in his voice, I was about to answer but I felt a hand grab mine. I whipped my head in the direction and saw it was Zuko, my face felt like it was heating up.
"She's not joining you."
"She can if she wants to."
"She's staying with me."
I was stuck on the fact that Zuko was holding my hand and had me pulled next to his side. My face felt warm like a campfire was directly under my face. I snapped back into reality when he started squeezing my hand. I took my hand away from him and stood next to Aang. "I'm going with them." I said firmly, his face dropped but soon changed to anger.
"You're betraying me!?"
"You betrayed me first! You broke the promise you made me years ago don't you remember? You promised to use my way first if you ever found the avatar and you didn't! Now there's a whole village burnt down because of you! Do you have any idea how painful it is to be on their side!? By the way, take it, I got it for you before you burnt down the shop." I spoke bitterly.
I threw the bracelet I got him at his chest and he caught it, he looked at it and back at me. His face dropped again but changed back to anger. I got onto the flying bison back and looked at Zuko. I feel horrible for leaving him but maybe it's what he needs. 'I'm sorry' I mouth to him as Aang makes us fly off.
16 May
Dear Journal,
Today was such a bad day I don't know where to start. I told Zuko my life story and he took it well I was surprised, we went to Kyoshi Island to investigate an avatar sighting, Zuko burned down the village and so I took Aang up on his offer.
I feel horrible for leaving Zuko when he most likely needs me most but.. he broke our promise. This is a short journal entry today I'm sorry but I already covered what happened. That and I'm just so confused, I'm not sure how to feel about this all. I believe I'm still in shock.