Life is so precious, you really never know when you will take your last breath or say your last words. That's what scares me.
These past few long and dreadful hours have done nothing put make me sick and scared to leave if I hear something happens.
Sitting in this overly white waiting room does nothing but make my head pound. Patients walking around,talking the odd few in a panic. While I'm sat here wondering and scared to find out if Nicholas is okay, scared to know how bad this is. Even scared to know if Santiago is okay.
"It's going to be okay" I look up from the floor seeing Alec and Kehlani stood there looking upset as I am. "I just can't help but think negativity there was so much blood" I croak out. Sitting down next to me Kehlani rests her head on my shoulder. Taking my hand in hers.
"He begged me to say I loved him after he said it first" I sob making something in Alec to snap and break in utter sadness. "Oh fuck" He whispers holding his head sitting down across from us.
"I also told him I was pregnant I panicked and it just came out" I sniffle. "Wait what" Alec's eyes widen in shock. "You're pregnant?" I nod my head making him lean back. "Oh fucking hell"
"They won't let me see Santiago yet and it's killing me" I mumble wiping my eyes with the back of my palm. "Soon, I promise" Kehlani whispers squeezing my hand in hers. "Was he you know..bad?" I feel my own heart break not wanting to know.
"Mali-" I shake my head stopping Alec. "Tell me please" I beg as tears pour yet again. "He clung onto me for dear life" Kehlani whispers wiping her own eyes. "Whole way here he was crying and those cuts and bruises just hurt us more" Alec looks down at the table dropping his head down to his knees.
"Oh god what kind of mother am I" I whimper. Pushing her head off me Kehlani shakes her head stopping me. "Don't you ever say that, Santiago has the best mother he could ever have and that baby will too" She assured as Alec nods in agreement.
Peaceful silence comes after. Nothing just us breathing. I really don't know about them but right now all I can do is do a silent prayer. The clock ticking is suddenly way louder than usual.
6:30 am.
Call me whatever you want but seeing couples walk through the halls with smiles and a child with them makes my stomach flip. Jealously. That should be us right now, but here we are. Same situation as them,being in a hospital but however it's a different emotion.
"Santiago Romano?" I look to my left seeing a middle age nurse holding a clip board scanning the waiting room. Nodding I push myself up off the seat. My feet feel so heavy as I take myself out of there behind her. Listening to Alec and Kehlani call out 'We will be here if you need something' as I drag my feet.
"How is he?" I ask catching up to her. Flipping through the clipboard tapping the back of it with her pen she hums. "Poor boy had a struggle settling, however due to dehydration we currently have him on fluids" Her voice fades away as I just nod.
Pushing open a room she lets me in. My lips quiver as I stand still looking around. A few nurses are blocking my view of the bed but everything else is enough for me. So many machines and monitors. Turning away they give me a sympathetic smile.
Ears ringing I stare at my little boy. So many different things connected to his tiny body as he lays in a huge bed with barriers on each side so he doesn't roll off maybe?
Dragging my body towards that bed I collapse down into the chair. My heart beats so hard against my chest. Fuck-I'm close to going into cardiac arrest. My tears fill with tears.
He looks so fragile- broken perhaps. I watch as his little chest moves up and down as he peacefully sleeps. Seeing that is a lullaby to my eyes. Soft snores fill the room. Hesitating I bring a finger to his cheek. Swiping down to remove the tear stains.
"He seems to be doing well thankfully" I look over my shoulder seeing the nurse who greeted me at the waiting stood there. "Thank you" I whisper cracking a smile. "Oh don't thank me baby, I'm doing my job" She smiles back leaving his clipboard by the door. "Ring that bell if you need something" She calls back popping her head around the door, pointing to a cord by his bed.
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I jump awake staring at the clock ahead of me. 7:30pm. Fuck- My eyes snap to my left hearing Santiago's cries as he tosses in his sleep. "Hey baby" I whisper as my hand glides through his hair as he slowly wakes up. Balling his fists he rubs them in his eyes before yawning. Dropping them he mumbles words I don't grasp at me.
Reaching for me I stand up, gently taking him in my arms fixing the wires. Cradling him in my arms I feel some weight being lifted off my shoulders. "Mama" he mumbles rubbing his face into my side. "Hi baby" I whisper smoothing out his wild hair.
He peeps up looking around in wonder. "Where meow meow" He mumbles. I- Where is meow meow.. "Home" I lie as he frowns before nodding. "Kay" He whispers once more. Damn I need to ask Mateo where that cat is. Pretty sure he said his place but god knows I can't remember shit.
"Dada" He calls out randomly looking at the door. My eyes widen staring at him. "Santi-" I cover his mouth gently with my hand as he screams for Nicholas again.
"Dada is resting okay" I hate myself for lying. It's hard but he simply wouldn't get it. I hold my breathe as he stares at me. It's like he can read those lies through me. Huffing he relaxes in my arms again. Leaving me to breathe again.
"Later I promise" I can hear my thoughts slap a hand against their face as I lie once more. Why do I do this..
I jump as the door flies open. Mateo and Diego push through panting as if they ran for their lives. "Fu-Hold on" Diego holds out his hand before dropping it to his knee. "Nicholas is done they won't tell us anything yet" He bites out pushing himself up.
"What? They won't say anything?" I frown staring up at them both. "Sadly, you go Ill mind this little monster" Mateo smiles tickling Santiago's side making his giggle. Sweeping him into his own arms I follow Diego out.
"I don't know what we can do" He mumbles as he make our way to the elevator. Why are hospitals so fucking stubborn. I lean against the railing staring at myself in the mirror.
My eyes drop down to the rings on my finger. Smirking to myself I glide a ring from my right placing it in my left. "Diego I'm your sister in law now" I smirk turning to look at him.
"Uh what.." I snort seeing his dumb ass staring at me. "It's Mrs Romano when we get there we are going to lie" I tell him as the elevator opens. "We are saying you are his wife so you can get in their?" Looking back to him I smile showing the ring on my hand.
"Bingo."
Racing around the corner we ran towards double doors. Pushing it open I slip past Diego. Not caring for the looks we receive from others we still go on. I turn my head back to Diego. I roll my eyes as he almost runs into a trolley. Turning back Diego calls me to turn left and second last door on the left.
I watch the numbers on the wall when I finally stop at the second last one. Diego slides next to me as a doctor comes out. "I would like to see-" I start, biting my tongue as the doctor shakes his head. "Sorry ma'am Mr Romano isn't having visitors" He shakes his head trying to make us move. I look at Diego who already is looking at me. 'Now' he mouths titling his head to the doctor.
"I have a right to see my husband" I spit making the doctor look up from his board. "Sorry?" He stutters looking at us. "That's my sister in law" Diego crosses his arms watching. "Mrs Romano?" The doctor asks making Diego groan.
"Yes, Mrs Romano. Malia Romano" I clarify bouncing on my feet. His eyes widen turning to the door and back at us. "My apologies Mrs Romano, give me 5 minutes and I'll leave you in" He apologies more before turning back. "Just as I thought" I call back making Diego snicker.
"Mrs Romano eh?" Diego playfully wiggles his eyebrows making me scoff. "Does that scare you?" I tease making him snort. "Nah, I've been waiting for his stubborn ass to ask you to marry him even when you were teens" He admits making my body have some weird feeling. A tingling feeling..
"Really?" I ask turning to him. Humming he leans back against the wall leaving a nurse move down the hallway. "Nicholas is just too scared or stubborn or something" He scoffs making me smile. "That's definitely Nico" I don't miss the pained smile he tries to mask as I say that.
"I'm pregnant" I blurt making Diego pause. Looking at my face his eyes drops as he stares at my stomach.Then looking back up, "Seriously" He whisper yells making me nod "Yeah" I cant help but laugh with a genuine smile.
"Holy fuck" He whisper yells holding his head. Screaming quietly he runs down the hallway and back down. "Holy fuck holy fuck" He says louder squeezing me twirling around.
I shake my head laughing as he keeps whispering to himself laughing. "He knows right?" Nodding at him he closes his eyes whispering 'thank fuck'
"You can enter now" I turn to see that same doctor with a sheepish smile on his face. "I'll be with Mateo and Santi call us when you are done" Diego whispers into my ear as he shakes my shoulders walking away from the room.
Slipping through I freeze staring at the bed. Bile rises up my throat. I thought Santiago was bad- Nicholas is way fucking worse. So many wires connected to him for god knows what. Way more monitors too.
I feel my heart break once seeing that ventilator on him. "It's not looking good unfortunately" My stomach and heart drops as the doctors voice snaps me from my thoughts. "He has lost a lot of blood and basically cheated death" He answers calmly as the rest of the doctors and nurses leave.
"Cheated death?" I whisper staring at Nico on the bed. "Take a seat Mrs Romano, we need to discuss things" He answers pointing the chair next to the bed. Just as I sit he starts again. "Mr Romano died on the operating table but is thankfully here" He stars sitting down in another table.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I really don't feel like crying in front of him. I wait from him to continue. Hearing him cough he again continues. "He has lost a lot of blood, we need to decide now and fast our options. "Which are?" I whisper waiting once more.
"Inducing him into a coma I'm afraid" I open my eyes looking at him across from use. "It's the only way to leave him heal" I nod once more processing every word he has to say.
"How long I can't say, we could be talks weeks, months maybe years who knows-but hopefully it's just weeks" I stare at the heart monitor. Simply now words left.
"I'll leave you to it Mrs Romano and we can discuss this in a few" I flop back against the chair hearing the door close. Once more I crack and break as tears start again.
LOL!!!
if im lucky the last chapter will be out 😓
ik i said this was gonna be the last but theirs too much stuff oKay!
anyways enjoy..!