In lukes point of view
I woke up from my deep sleep emerged in dark brown sheets that don't belong to me,and it takes a few minutes for me to gather my thoughts and then it hits be like a freight train in my chest.Nathan called cat suicidal and she flipped out and ran away for a while then I found her at the west sidney bridge then I took her home and Calum went to sleep with her.I also slept in the guess bedroom across the hall from hers.I swung my legs over the end of the bed and stood up I looked down at the shirt and pants I got from ashton to sleep in.He gave me more clothes for the morning so I stood up and walked into the bathroom and check my phone while getting undressed.
It was 10:37 in the morning and I didn't had anything to do this Saturday.I also really just wanted to hold cat and tell her it'll be okay even if she wouldn't believe it.I turned on the water and grabbed the extra clothes and put them on the sink then I stepped into the hot water.I turned it up to the hottest it could go without burning the shit out of me.I used the fucking strawberry shampoo and conditioner in the shower also because it was there and don't judge me okay.I also used the strawberry body wash but we're acting like that didn't go down and I honestly spent about thirty minutes just standing there.I eventually got out and dried myself off and went ahead and just brushed my fringe up and away from my eyes. I put my lip ring back in after washing it and then put my clothes on.I grabbed my clothes and stepped out of the room and I swear to god I almost went into her room but decided against it because I actually respect her privacy.I used the elevator and then walked into the kitchen.The house was so quiet.I went into the kitchen and saw ashton with two cups of coffee and pancakes out with two plates an sets of utensils."Come on kid eat" he said pointing to the food.He looked a little better than yesterday.
"How did you know I was up?" I asked he looked at me and said "I heard the shower " he said as I started eating my food.He crossed his arms and leaned back saying "I think you're helping and I want you to talk to her about the whole thing yesterday but she'll probably be upstairs all of today with Calum "he said I frowned slightly at the whole 'with Calum' thing."Are cat and Calum a thing?" I asked I hoped to go they weren't because Jesus I think I like her a lot."hell no she'll explain how they know each other but Calum's into guys and girls but I think he favors guys though" I felt relieved at that and it was about time I asked "if I where to maybe want to take cat on a date,Would you be okay with that?" I asked he looked shocked and said "fuck I didn't even think about that,Shit I need to do the whole intimidation thing on the boyfriend" he shook his head and I laughed and said "I'm already intimidated by you don't worry ash I think you're scary enough but for it to pass" he looked at me and thank me and said "you know about my job and what I do but really luke,would you ever join?" I was slightly shocked but asked "would I ever join the mafia?" Probably not because well I'm basically a 6"4 blonde noodle boy but I won't completely take that out" I mean most likely not because I'm me and I'm not capable of much" I said laughing he looked at me and said "I honestly would hire you any day you don't have to do the dirty shit I do,I would let you throw your life away like I did" he looked almost disgusted and I asked "how old where you when you joined?" I asked me looked at me and said "I think I was 16 when I had my first assignment" I liked at his in shock because well he was so young "what did you have to do?" I asked he looked down at his coffee and said "I was suppose to go into a mafia house and pick up money.I shot my first man that day and although I didn't kill him I could have and he actually had a daughter.She was Aliah my girlfriend actually.It took a while for me to be able to do things related to the mafia after that it jut really messed me up" he said and I nodded.i stood up and out my plate in the sink and went to go upstairs and ashton asked the date then I told him and he said "oh shit Calum has an exam in two hours will you get him up?" I nodded and went upstairs and to where Bella's door would be and I turned the knob lightly and looked in.
Calum was wearing a black tank top and basketball shorts and cat was wearing a huge black and gray sweater which I'm assuming was the one Calum was wearing yesterday and a very loose pair of lace shorts with frilly lace socks to.She was actually laying on top of him and had one arm under the pillow supporting his head as he was laying down on his back and one arm falling onto his chest as her head was positioned to where her head feel into the junction between his neck and shoulder.She had her leg separated one thrown over each sides of his waist and he had one arm around her waist and one equating on her leg which was one his waist.and I sure as hell was jealous of that.I seriously did think there was something going on with them but I need to trust ash and what he said .
I walked over to the bed and where they where sleeping and poke Calum multiple times until he was awake.Which took awhile.His dark eyes opened and he looked right at me then to cat and said "we're aren't together or anything I promise"his voice still raspy.I liked that his first reaction was to deny them being together."I get you I just wanted to remind you that you have finals or some test today or at least that's what ash said" I told him look of realization crossed his feature before he said "oh shit um...ok give me a second just,she took her antidepressants late last night so she's going to be really tired and delayed just watch out for her"he said sitting her slightly and shaking Cat lightly as to wake her up.her dark eyes opened slowly and she looked at him as he explained the situation she just nodded slowly and cuddled into the blankets once he left I went to back out of the room before she said " I'm cold come here" and her voice came out muffled but I still understood her so I walked to her bed and laid down next to her.I didn't make a move to go closer to her and she didn't make one to go closer to me.That is until I felt a sock clad foot touch my leg."I'm cold come here" she repeated and I scooted over to her and wrapped an arm around her "thank you"she mumbled into my chest "I need you to explain everything that's going on cat" I told her she nodded and got up,Calum's sweater falling to show her collar bones because of it being too large.
"Can I shower first then we'll get coffee and talk it over" she almost asked but more said."Sure want help" I ask me just looked at me and said "would you just sit in there and talk to me please..o don't care for silence anymore" she said and although I was slightly uncomfortable by her request I decided to oblige and waited until she was int he shower before going it and sitting playing on my phone.She would ask questions and we talked about green day and blink-182s breakup and how it sadness her angst teen rebellion themed heart."i genuinely think everyone needs to have one blink song that there's,like that they absorb and accept as there's." She said and I nodded,the water stopped and I left the bathroom for her to get dressed.When I went inside she was there with calums big oversized sweater,a skirt, and knee socks on.Im fairly certain this is a uniform for her now.She started putting product into her hair and tried braiding it all back but fail miserably so I helped her out and eventually we got to the coffee house and got our drinks and sat down.
"What do you want to know?" She asked like it was that simple or easy and I knew j could respond with everything so I said "everything that's happened in the last 12 months"I looked at her an she leaned back and said "this'll take a while"she said taking a big drink of her black coffee.
"I've grown up privileged and that tends to cause people to assume or think that I can't have problems,That's part of why I don't take at school or why I don't have friends my age.When I was like eleven I came upon the realization that I didn't really care whether I woke up the next day or not and I think that was a turning parking or maybe a warning sign that there was issues." I nodded and looked at her she was staring down at her coffee now "I uh started hurting myself when I was like twelve or thirteen." It made me sad someone like her did that to their body like they didn't deserve to be whole."I didn't feel much of anything I was basically numb and I started craving the blood that would come out of cuts"she started tearing up a little but then her whole demeanor changed she leaned back and look bitter "I stopped eating and I was dying ashton knew what was happening so he told my parents so. I started getting help,I had a brother he was three years older than me he would be uh 19 now"she said looking at me "what happened to him"
"He was a fucking genius like you think I am but he finished high school at 15 and fuck he didn't have a lot of friends the kids didn't get him like I did and he was so sad and no one knew or I guess I wasn't paying attention but hell I didn't think he would shoot himself in the head and I didn't think I would find him 11 months ago on his bedroom floor dead" she said I sucked in my breath.holy fuck.ok I didn't shit expect that and fuck ok that's cool not really but hell.
"Shit"I said she nodded and said
"I tried to kill myself 7 months ago.Once with pills ashton found me and shoved his fingers into my mouth causing me to vomit.The second time I was in the subway station and I went to walk indent of the train and I would've if I guy didn't pull me back.That guy was calum.That was 4 months ago.I go to the bridges and leave because I feel something sitting on bridge ledges because it's only then I have complete control.I can end my pain if I choose or i could keep fighting my inevitable death"