It's monday again and I'm back in Satan's sanctuary. The day has been slow. Not just for me- the halls have been slow and the teachers voices drone on and on at a snail's pace. The principal said good morning on the speakers and hasn't said anything since. English seemed to last forever, my hands aching from the long essays I had to write. They were only practice for the real thing that's to come. Julie kept me company. Well, if you count her laughing as I pretended to bang my head against the desk.
It's time for second period and it already feels like I've been here for hours. I understand why Scarlette and Jackson skip after second period. Julie is still by my side since I'm showing her to her class. The halls and stuff are still confusing to her along with the room numbers. The first week and a half was like that for me too. I went to the wrong class twice and even missed an entire period because I was busy running through the halls. After that, I got around pretty easily.
I get Julie to class and she waves me goodbye like it's part of a routine. Knowing we'll see each other at lunch, I turn around and quickly head to science class. Mr. Harvey is understanding but if you're late, then he'll do his job and mark you as late. It's already happened once and I'd rather not have it happen again. Luckily, the classroom is not too far away; I make it in time with two minutes left to spare. Mr. Harvey nods at me, showing little glee that I made it on time.
Madaline is already in her seat with her head down against her books. She stayed up all night watching Charmed, so it's no surprise that she's feeling tired. I put my book bag down against the floor and see Scarlette's small bag resting on the table. Her voice echoes through the classroom, making me look back to see her talking with Jackson. She's smiling while Jackson is trying not to. Orion is even laughing and Scarlette throws a smile his way. My body falters on its own- seeing her smile at someone else like that...the way she smiled at me. Does she like him? I don't know how I'd feel if she did. Even though I'm the one who said my feelings for her were confusing.
The bell rings loudly, scaring me a little as I jump in my spot. Mr. Harvey ushers us to our assigned seats while scraping chalk against the board. I sit down as Scarlette moves her bag onto the floor. She sits next to me and pays no attention to what Mr. Harvey is saying. Quickly glancing at her, I see that she's on her phone in clear view. I frown a little before paying attention to the short lesson.
Time quickly passes and Scarlette is still on her phone and Mr. Harvey is done teaching. Everyone is doing their own thing- either doing the assignment, talking, or sleeping. Me, I'm trying to focus on the assignment while stealing looks at Scarlette who doesn't seem to notice. I sigh, knowing I'm not going to be able to get any work done until I talk to her. My pencil rolls to the end of the table as I drop it, but I pay no attention. Scarlette uses that time to look up.
"Are you mad at me?" my voice wavers with hesitation.
"No," she answers so simply.
"Oh," I reply, trying hard not to show how relieved I am. I should ask her to hang out. Just me and her. I miss her. The her I met from day one, to the grocery store, to her coming in late... I don't want the one that can barely smile at me. "Do you want to hang out? With me?"
Scarlette looks back at me before shrugging. "Sure."
"Okay," I smile, and it's quiet between us again for the rest of the class.
I start to pack up my items and work as Madaline comes up to me with her worksheet in hand.
"Want me to turn yours in too?" she asks, her hand reaching out.
I glance at my book bag that hid my unfinished work. Laughing nervously, I shake my head. "I didn't finish."
Madaline gives me her worksheet to copy- saying we can turn it in together next class. I thank her as the bell rings. Jackson and Scarlette are out before any of us. Jackson throws a short wave our way before trailing off. Scarlette does nothing. Madaline and I look at each other before shrugging. They must really like what we're having today for lunch. Madaline loops her arm with mine as usual and we leave to the cafeteria.
The cafeteria is less packed than usual. Even the volume of the room has lowered. Madaline and I brush it off and quickly get our lunch so we can get our usual table. Julie is already there when we get to it with her plate still full. Madaline and I sit on the other side of her and skip the greetings. I look around before settling my eyes back on Julie.
"Did you see Scarlette come in? Or Jackson?" I ask.
Julie shakes her head- her mouth full of fries. Madaline pulls out her phone to text them while I wonder about where they are. I pick at my food, only eating bits at a time. Some time passes when Madaline sighs and puts her phone away.
"What is it?" Julie and I express our concern.
Madaline shakes her head, like it's nothing serious. "They skipped."
"Oh," is the only thing that leaves my mouth. I don't know what to think. I know they have a habit of skipping. I'll also see Scarlette later which is probably why I'm not really bothered that she skipped. We leave the revelation behind and jump back into conversation. The first half of it was Julie being concerned that her new friends would get caught skipping, and asked if it was a normal thing. We assure her that they'll be fine and that was that.
Lunch ended pretty soon after that and school was cut short today, so we threw our trash away before leaving the building. Madaline and I part ways with Julie- but not before screaming 'see you later' to each other. Madaline and I leave with her parents and we have three separate concerts on the way to her house.
Madaline and I hang out a bit while I'm at her house, and I tell her about Scarlette and I also hanging out today. She jumps in immediate excitement, but I calm her down to tell her why I asked in the first place. Starting from the date with Julie, to the skating rink, to today. Also about how things have been different. I could be reading too much into it, but I don't know.
"I already knew she liked you. You're probably the only one who didn't notice, Nol."
I hide my face as Madaline lists all the things that Scarlette has done that I was oblivious to. I mistook it as really friendly gestures but it was something else entirely. Her teasing stops when my phone dings with two notifications. I flip it over to see it's from Scarlette. I instantly show Madaline who rushes me to text back. I unlock my phone and go to my and Scarlette's messages.
Scarlette: hey
Scarlette: im free
Me: cool!
Me: we can hang out now?
Scarlette: yea. skate park
"Skate park," I say out loud, "that's close by. We can just walk."
"You guys are meeting up now?" Madaline questions while going to put on shoes. "I'll come with for support."
I nod and follow in her footsteps- putting on my shoes and jacket. We head out quickly, throwing 'we'll be back soon, bye!' to Madaline's parents. Our legs move fast, me eager to see Scarlette and try to smooth things over. Madaline says she's going for support and while I believe that, I figure she's hoping to see Jackson too. The walk to the park is quiet and when we get there, Madaline and I give each other a silent nod. Jackson ended up being there, which is no surprise, so we were saying good luck to each other.
Scarlette is sitting on a small grass hill away from all the ramps where Jackson is standing. I go to join her as Madaline goes to join Jackson. I'm sure they'll have an interesting talk. I approach Scarlette who's sitting crisscrossed and playing with a single flower that's limp in her hand. She looks calm. Like she's in her own environment with a field full of flowers. I hope I can keep her peace of mind and not disrupt it. I finally sit down next to her and bend my own legs into a pretzel shape.
"I hope you have a good reason for wanting to hang. I had to ditch my parents gathering for this," she starts off almost absent-mindedly.
"Sorry," I apologize first before continuing, "I missed hanging out with you one-on-one and I realized I don't know much about you."
Scarlette hums, her attention still on the flower and her eyes watching the petals fall. "My favorite color is green, I like stealing Jackson's food, and street racing."
I blink. Once. Twice. Then I start laughing. That seems to catch Scarlette's attention as she turns her head to look at me with a small smile caught on her face. I feel elated that a smile like hers is being directed at me again. I look down for a second to hide my huge smile before looking back up at her.
"I want to really get to know you," I tell her, "I can go first if you'd like."
Scarlette thinks for a moment before nodding her agreement. I pull my legs closer to me and think of how to start. She knows the basics about me, so what's left?
"I'm an only child," I say without thinking. "I mean, I think of Madaline as a sister to me, but biologically- I have no siblings."
Scarlette nods, her being listening to the words that fall loosely from my lips.
"My parents are religious, and they're strict- my dad way more than my mom. He has my life all set out for me even if it isn't what I want. I want to study space and he wants me to run a church. He doesn't like my friends, he'll make me stop talking to them. I'm scared to go against him. I know I'm his son, but would that stop him from hurting me..."
I start to pluck the grass- crumbling it in my fingers before plucking more. Scarlette stays silent, not knowing if she should say something. It feels good to say this to someone else. Madaline knows most of it, but I shouldn't have to burden her with my family. I feel guilty when she's having a good time and I ruin it.
"My mom is okay. She doesn't do much, but I know she loves me. She doesn't stand up to my dad much either, but I still hope she corrects him in private. It's probably why he's being going easy on me," I stop crumbling up pieces of grass and instead run my hands through it, "I can't remember if its always been like that...
Um, I'm only really social with people I'm comfortable with but if someone started talking to me, I wouldn't mind engaging in conversation. I guess I'm not exactly introverted."
Scarlette keeps nodding to show she's following along. I stop to take a short breath, then look at her. "I should talk about lighter stuff. Um, Disney movies are my favorite and I like eating a load of snacks even if it makes my stomach hurt later on. Madaline always tells me I betrayed her for not sharing. I've never been out of state, so now I have this constant urge to travel the world. You know the rest."
"Interesting," is all Scarlette says. I nod and wait, wondering if she'll tell me about herself on her own or if I have to ask again. "I have siblings. Two annoying ass brothers. They're like four years younger than me."
"So fourteen?" I ask.
She nods. "Yeah. I live with both of my parents and they're religious unlike me. Church every Sunday in fancy dresses that I wouldn't dare to wear. They're chill though which grinds their friends gears. You worship god, why do you let your children behave this way?" she mocks, making me undoubtedly smile. "My parents aren't super strict with my brothers but they'll lay down the rules and they believe in consequences."
"What was their reactions to your tattoos?" I wonder, specifically looking at the one on her hand. She notices and lifts her hand up.
"My mom had a heart attack over this one. Said it went too far and I can't cover it up. My dad just said I should've been a son instead of a daughter. I lied and said the pain was a five- it was a twelve. So, yeah, they're okay. They don't know I skip school or anything. I'll do them a favor and let them keep their sanity."
I smile the entire she talks. She tells me about how she got interested in street racing- which was from the movie Grease or something. She started smoking because she saw adults do it at a younger age and thought it must've been cool. Tattoos are art on the body and she wants to be a portrait, is what she says next. I learn that her and Jackson have been friends since middle school and he's like another brother to her- just less annoying. It was good getting to know her. Really know her. It felt good.
After we're done inking out the smallest details of each other we stay seated in the grass in comfortable silence. I think about all the things Scarlette told me while she sits with her legs sprawled out in front of her. My eyes are locked on a lone flower but my thoughts are Scarlette, Scarlette, Scarlette.
"I like you," I blurt out while absentmindely plucking out some grass. Scarlette looks at me for a second before looking back out towards the squirrels running wild.
"In what way?"
"In a more-than-a-friend way."
Scarlette hums, her expression neutral. I glance at her but look down when she leans back down on her arms. My heart beats fast in anticipation, wondering what she's going to say. When a long moment passes, I finally decide to look back in her direction. Her eyes are closed and her head is titled back, her hair pooling in the grass.
"Don't tell me you fell asleep mid confession," I joke. Scarlette smiles and cracks her eyes open to meet my gaze. I smile back, elated that another one of her smiles is directed at me.
"Thinking," she says.
"Oh, about what?"
At first she shrugs. I accept the nonverbal answer when she speaks up. "You like me, Nolan."
"Yeah?" I urge her to continue.
"You went on a date with Julie."
"I don't like Julie," I say in a rushed tone, "not like that."
Scarlette nods, letting me get my points across. All I had to say was my feelings for Julie weren't like that, and once she notices that, she nods again.
"Could we go on a date? A real, confirmed date," Scarlette closes her eyes again and leans back down- like she knows what my answer will be and is preparing for it.
"We can't," I mumble. I don't elaborate on why and just stand up suddenly feeling guilty. "I should go actually."
I smile sadly at her and rush away. Madaline notices me from her spot beside Jackson and immediately stands up. I pull her along with me and we walk away in silence.