"You need to relax, alright? I'm certain the police are doing everything they can." Grayson assured me, but I didn't want to hear any of it.
"No, no, they need to call me now! This is insane! Two months and still nothing! That man could be planning my kidnapping, or worse, my murder!" I exclaimed angrily, almost having the urge to break something.
"Louis, just breathe—"
"Don't bloody tell me to fucking breathe!"
They jumped up, startled by my sudden outburst. The people in the cafe turned their heads to us, concern in their eyes. I took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry. I'm...I'm sorry, I have to go." Grabbing my keys and taking one last sip of my tea, I left, hopping into the car and driving away. I didn't know where I was going or who I was going to, but there was no turning back for me.
In what seemed to have been an hour, but was only 15 minutes, I turned into the back of the tall building that Jackson told me to park in for some reason. Fleetwood Mac was playing on the radio as I parked the car in the car park, which was soon turned off along with the engine.
The warm Spring weather hit my body as I stepped out, closing the door.
Hopefully he's here.
The lady at the desk, Alisson, checked me in once I told her what I was in for, and wasted no time in going to his office.
"Louis? What are you doing here?" The golden brown-haired lad asked me, caught off guard by my appearance. I didn't say anything for a while, which made me question why I came here in the first place.
"I just need someone to talk to right now. I feel like I'm completely losing my mind." I finally respond, hoping he would let me.
He twisted his lips in thought, which made me want to scream because of how impatient I was. He soon gestured for me to sit, making me sigh in relief.
I sat down in silence, looking around his office and noticing some things I hadn't before.
A coat rack, currently empty, stood next to the entrance of the door. Aside from the border and coat rack, there were potted plants strategically placed throughout the room. The plants, which numbered five in total, were placed on opposite sides of the door, one on the desk near the lamp, and the others next to a small recliner that looked to be new.
A coffee table was next to the recliner, and on it was the bottle of shoe polish that had caused the previously mentioned odour.
"Whenever you're ready, Louis." Dr Murphy spoke, snapping me out of my distracted observation.
I rubbed my hands on my knees, the words I want to say on the tip of my tongue, but couldn't seem to get them out.
"It's just— it's just been a tough few months for me. I feel like I'm helpless. That no one can help me and I'm just a broken boy like I was back then." He listened on as I spoke, his face showing full concentration.
"This whole thing is just— like, why does it have to be me? What did I do to be targeted and get no help!?" I cried. "If he hadn't died....if I had just listened, he would still be alive! I wouldn't be going through this. It's all my fault. It's my fault!" Feeling so overwhelmed, I didn't feel the tears rolling down my face until I felt a single tear hit my trousers.
"Louis, nothing is your fault. You didn't know that the tree would make him fall." He tried to convince me, but I refused to let him do that. It was my fault. It was all my fault, and now I was paying the price for it.
"It is my fault. I feel like I am my worst enemy." My voice choked out, saying. I sniffed and wiped the tears with my sleeve.
"Well, you know what they say, right?" He questioned, and I shook my head, not knowing the answer.
"The only enemy you have is yourself."
I stared at him after he said those words, having heard it before. It was what the woman said to me in rehab.
She said those exact words, and I slowly began to believe her, not believing at first. I felt he just confirmed it for me.
"I wouldn't think too much of it. Unless you believe that you're. I can assure you that just because you're going through this, doesn't mean it's true. There are a lot of ways to help." He continued, making me furrow my brows in confusion.
"Help with what? There's nothing wrong with me!" I snapped, the frustration coming back.
"That's what we're here trying to figure out. I'm going to give you a journal. You can write anything in it to track your emotions." He stood up from his chair and walked over to his desk, grabbing the notebook from what appeared to be a drawer filled with other journals.
"Write in it every day, and then at our next appointment, our actual appointment, I will see what you wrote. Whatever you do, do not tell or show anyone it, alright?" He ordered, and I replied, saying, "Yes, sir."
"Please, this is very confidential. No one can see it but me. Is that understood?" I replied again, and he smiled satisfactorily before escorting me out.
"Wait," I stopped, turning back to face him. "What's your name?"
He looked taken aback for a moment, probably wondering why I asked that question.
"It's Luke."
___
Despite it being Spring and warm outside, the nighttime coldness still lingered, brushing on my body like snow in the winter.
Everywhere was dark, but the silence was loud, with not a human presence in sight. The wind whistled like a ghost in the night, making me wish I hadn't gone to the corner shop so late.
The sound of rustling made me stop in my tracks and turn around, peering around the empty streets for the familiar sight of whom I believed was roaming about.
A dog appeared from the corner of the alley, a piece of what looked like ham in his mouth, and ran off.
My nerves calming down, I began to walk again. The silence became louder with each mile I made, making my route home unsettling.
The sudden sounds of footsteps made me spin around quickly, only to see no one there.
"Who's there?!" I shouted, looking around.
"Show yourself!"
The sounds got louder and louder, my heart beginning to pound in fear. I kept spinning around to see a glimpse of him and attack, but there wasn't a sight of a presence nearby.
"I said who's there?! I know it's you!"
"Do you now?"
I turned around, seeing the familiar figure standing there, the same jacket as before, covering his body. The darkness made it hard for me to see his face properly, so it was hard to distinguish his features.
"Who are you?! What do you want?!" I shouted, anger building up inside me.
He chuckled sinisterly, throwing his head back. "Oh, Louis. It saddens me that you haven't figured it out by now. You know me more than you think. The darkness doesn't hide a person, that I will tell you. You wanna know what else?"
My body trembling in fear, I opened my mouth, trying to get answers. "What?"
"Everyone has a dark side."
I stood there, confused by his words.
What does he mean by that?
Before I could respond, the sounds of tires screeching were heard in the distance, and without warning, a car sped like lightning right into the man, hitting him dead on.
I screamed loudly, his body hitting the glass and falling to the ground.
I rushed over to him, seeing his body face down. Glass from the car that hit him dug into his jacket, blood leaking onto the floor.
Without a thought, I bent down to check if he was alright, but before I could help him, he woke up, grabbing my leg forcefully.
I screamed in horror, my life flashing before my eyes. The sound of a voice calling my name could be heard.
"Uncle Lou? Uncle Louis, please wake up, you're scaring me!" The familiar soft voice begged.
I snapped my eyes open, screaming bloody murder, my heart pounding rapidly. Sweat covered my body, my breathing heavy.
The bright light from the sun peaked through the curtains, causing me to squint my eyes to adjust to the brightness.
I saw Alfie next to me on the bed, his eyes filled with fright.
"What's going on? What happened?" I asked frantically, looking around the room, my body shivering from what had just happened.
"You had a nightmare, uncle Lou. I heard you screaming. You fell asleep." The little boy explained.
"Oh...." was the only word that came out of my mouth.
The boy still sat there, looking at me with nothing but a scared look. "You alright, bud?"
He nodded, his eyes staring into mine like they were looking into my soul.
"Alright....go downstairs. I'll make you breakfast with the pancakes we bought last night." Despite me saying that, he still didn't move a muscle, making me extremely confused.
"Alfie, are you sure you're alright?" I asked again, resting myself up on the bed, beginning to get concerned.
".......Yes." His voice trembled, almost like in fear.
He stayed there for a few more seconds, then rushed off the bed and out of my room.
That was odd.
___
Me and Harry decided to bake some cupcakes together. Well, I was baking them. He just watched. He thought baking would make me get my mind off things.
"Stop doing that." I giggled, telling him to stop tickling me whilst I worked.
He rested his chin on my shoulder, observing me. "You like me, don't you?"
I paused for a moment, then resumed to what I was doing. "Of course I like you, silly." I smiled fondly, stirring the mixture.
He kept his head resting on my shoulder for a while, until he lifted it and went into the living room.
A few minutes later, the batter was ready to be put into the oven. I placed the baking tray into the preheated oven and closed it, setting the timer and pressing the start button.
"What should we do now?" I asked, sitting down next to him.
"We could watch Sherlock Holmes like you promised." He answered.
Confused, I replied, "I promised you that? I don't remember. I've been forgetting a lot of things lately. You were right, it is bad."
Maybe I should write that in my journal.
"I'm sure you're fine....you know what, I know what will cheer you up. Music!" He cheered, getting up from the sofa and turning the radio on.
"Look! It's playing your favourite song."
"There was something in the air that night, the stars were bright, Fernando."
I stood silent for a second, watching him dance. Nothing felt the same with this song. Too many memories were abroad.
He noticed I wasn't dancing, and walked up to me, grabbing my hands and pulling me towards him.
A smile crept on my face as he moved with me to the song, singing along.
"Though I never thought that we could lose! There's no regret!" We sang, dancing around the living room like a couple in the evening.
It felt nice reliving old memories.