her truth

By JillHigdon

2.7K 208 674

this is a story about a woman and what she has to go through with a narcissist, sociopath who has ruined her... More

worst day of my life
mending my broken heart
meeting him was the biggest mistake
should have said no
sisters confusion
something seems off
starting to lose myself
a real introduction
didn't think it would happen like that
ruined 22nd
don't really want to go
days seem to blur
setting up a time
this is weird
just tiring
what my eldest sister saw
uncomfortable
why is he doing this?
what I have to deal with
drunken questioning
let him slim his way back in
things seem to get better
In trouble
nothing seems to change
a new friend same habits
putting my foot down
doesn't seem going to happen
had enough
never kept to his word
living his life not hers
feeling sad for his mother
feeling less of myself
just giving up
freaking out
coming to terms
wasn't meant to be
Jan 7th 2014
starting to find my worth
this is just mean
starting to miss him
being treated like nothing
starting something new
our time together
meeting the family
taking time for myself
the reason
trying to think what to do
family advice
slowly telling
best noise ever
the blow out
don't know what to do
slowly talking
feeling lonely
an idiot move
your coming with me
forced to give up a piece of me
living in discomfort
not liking this situation
the heat is too much
interesting summer
so confused
looking for a new place
treated coldly
not what I was expecting
going forth
always alone
baby shower
days go on
moving again
nothing really has changed
it's time
harder then I thought
a long road to recovery
pushed to a limit
things didn't get better
this doesn't seem to be helping
lost in confusion
things that shouldn't be seen
days are blurring
lost my mind
living for my daughter
doing everything for an ungrateful soul
anger that started to take a turn
living a bit on the edge
just a pain in the ass!
a needed session
trying and failing
caring for my daughter more then my man
life is better when not alone with him
just can't understand him
I do everything!!
it's better when he's gone
even with family he is like this
feeling stuck
not feeling heard
knew was going to happen
horrible experience
terrible thing to happen
hard pregnancy
a disaster gender reveal
sad day
Braxton Hicks suck
here comes Sarah
feeling so blessed
so weak
not feeling like myself
no help from him
slowly getting there then
my decision
no help from him
fell for the trap
nothing changed, again
are you for real?
just never ends
never ending fighting
forcing
rethinking
January 12th 2018
no one understood
horrible honey moon
relaxing ish time with family
owned
getting things rolling
not a good thanksgiving
happy when he is not home
watching my father's health go down
family time
just isn't enough
time is rolling by
trying to help
my forced routine
getting more tired
days start to blend
don't know how much longer I can take
nothing but crying
running on automatic

who Sandra was

106 8 16
By JillHigdon

Sitting to her father's couch, Sandra took a moment from school to come down to spend the night over at her father's place because she missed her home town and she missed her father and sister's to much.
Taking a deep breathe Sandra looked up to see a child picture of herself to smile.
Sandra at this moment in time was a very brutally honest, Tom girl, who was adventurous, loyal, loving, strong welled and so very stubborn. She was a girl who did so very well in school, had a few close friends, was very funny and active.
Coming about, Sandra turned her head to watch her father stumble about to then go to sit in his chair to look forward to the television.
"What's on?"
"A movie."
"Ah, I love this one. So very funny."
Sandra smiled to look forward, her father and her were very close and they shared in so many things. Looking down, Sandra saw her cat, to then look towards the kitchen to get up to feed him.
"You know dad. I saw the cat scratches on your arm. You really need to stop letting him do that"
Her father looked to his arm to shrug.
"He has fun. Doesn't really hurt."
Sandra fed her cat to then go back to sit down to have her face fall a bit.
"So how is your breathing and heart doing?"
Her father Robert, he suffered from lung and heart disease from all the years of smoking cigarettes and having a bit to much fun in the 60s to 70s when he was a child to teenager.
"I'm okay. Worry about you though."
Sandra turned her head to eye over him.
"Why worry over me?"
"Well, what are you going to do after you graduate? Where are you going to go?"
"I plan to graduate and become a producer. I might have to crash on your couch after to save up money."
Robert rolled his eyes to continue to look to the television but gave Sandra an answer he always did.
"Okay, you know my rule, you need to have a job or be working to live under my roof."
Sandra laughed to then turn her head to eye over the movie that was playing.
"I'll have one. Trust me."
"I love you sandra. Just can't stop being worried over you. I worry over all my girls."
Sandra nodded to keep eyeing forward to think of all the things she was planning to get her father when she became a famous producer. Sandra wanted to get her father a Harley Davidson bike, a mansion anything he had been wanting in life because he had done so much for her.
Sandra was a very determined girl when she needed to be.
After the movie, her father eventually went to his room for Sandra to be laying to his couch to be to her back to eye out the window to still have boys on her mind. She really wanted to meet that prince charming. Didn't help that when are was in high school she really wanted to have that great boyfriend which never really happen. Sandra was very into her studies in high school, even graduated with a high gpa and had all A's.
Also didn't help when she met a few weird boys in high school who used Sandra. One kissed her and then came up with an excuse that his parents didn't want him to date. That was one of the main reasons she didn't want to date in high school and to be honest, there weren't any guys in that school that was her type anyway.
Turning to her side, she Darted her eyes over the black television action to sign here and there. She was still thinking of making a dating profile and getting herself out there.
Sandra was very naive at this age, too head strong and very stubborn. Didn't take the advice of get older sisters has she thought she knew better.
If I go on a dating website, I'll go on the one my sister when on to find her man. If she could find love on it, so can I.
Sandra couldn't help to smile to then fall asleep.
By February, she was to her computer to be to the dating profile to make up her own but didn't pay for it at first, she was testing the waters out, she placed her setting to finding someone close and an Asian man. Sandra didn't know why but that was just her preference.
Looking over some profiles she clicked on a few but couldn't do anything since she had to pay for it.
Groaning, Sandra gulped to then bit the bullet, she placed in her card to have more an opening, she talked to a few guys in a few weeks to not really get anywhere, then she was able to really talk to this one man who lived close to her that wanted to go on a date.
Liking him a bit, she decided to go in a date with him on Valentine's day, he was funny, charming and made her laugh.
They first went to a movie then go the mall that was to the town she was in from school, they seemed to be hitting it off, eventually getting in his car, they talked about a few things, Sandra eventually let him know she was a virgin since he started to talk about sex, looking to him she saw a face she saw quite a bit in her life.
Sandra turned her head to make a face has he heard him talk.
"I don't really mess with virgins. They become so needy."
Sandra rolled her eyes to then turn her head to look out the window. She had heard that for a few years.
After dropping her off, the two kept in contact to go on another date but he was not getting around the virgin aspect.
Sandra to her bed texted him about it and why he had been ghosting her and telling him he owed her a bit of an explanation, he would text her back to let her know he owed her nothing.
Heart broken, Sandra deleted his profile from hers to then block him off her phone to then go to stay with her father for a bit.
Sandra really didn't want to be alone anymore and she was starting to feel like a freak for being a virgin. She didn't think anything was off about it since she was only 20.
This aspect of herself Sandra was starting to hate and bad. However, this was not going to define Sandra, has she was to her father's, Sandra just needed time to mend her broken heart to then try again when she really should have deleted the dating app and needed to have really listened to her sister.

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