(Tw) bullying anxiety and depression.
"Good morning!" Billie sings as
she opens the curtains
"Ugh no I wanna sleep." Allison says while rubbing her eyes.
"Babe you've been asleep for like 11 hours..You're really still tired?" Billie asks concerned.
"Yeah.." allison says turning around while pulling the blanket up.
"Are you okay? Do you feel sick?" Billie asks concerned feeling Allison's head.
"No babe I'm fine....I just want to sleep." Allison groans.
"Oh..Well are you hungry?" Billie asks.
"No." Allison says annoyed.
"Oh- okay..Is there anything I can do?" Billie asks concerned.
"No Billie! There's nothing wrong with me for fucks sake I'm just tired!" Allison snaps.
"Oh- uh- yeah okay..I guess I'll just give you some space..I'm sorry." Billie says sadly.
"Thanks.." Allison whispers.
The truth is Allison know's Billie did nothing wrong- she was just overwhelmed with the questions. This isn't like Allison to lash out like that. Billie knows that, but it didn't hurt any less. Allison is sad but she doesn't know why, and that alone Is driving her mad.
Allison opens her phone.
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8:07 a.m
Instagram: billswifeee commented on your post!
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(1) Text message from ❤Zoe❤
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"Huh? Why are billies fans all over me?" Allison whispers.
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AllisonD19 From loser to lover
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Billslefttoe This is the loser Billie's friends with?!
Billiesfuture this better not be about billie, slut.
Wifemeupbill girl I think you're confused, you just want attention.
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"Oh- that's- how do they even know?" Allison says setting her phone down, tears filling her eyes. She takes a deep breath in hope that it will calm her down. But it doesn't, the air isn't filling her lungs, she can't breath. Tears stream down her face as she tries to calm down but it isn't working.
As Billie leaves the bathroom she hears sniffling coming from her room and her heart drops. She walks over and knocks on the door.
No answer.
"Allison?" Billie asks as she knocks again.
"Go away." Allison yells.
The truth is, Allison doesn't want Billie to actually walk away, she wants her to bust through the door and give her a hug but she also does not want Billie to see her crying like this.
"Allison. Really? I can hear you crying I just want to make sure your okay." Billie says softly.
"I'm not crying." Allison says with an attitude.
"Yes you are I hear you, I'm coming in." Billie announces.
Billie opens the door and see's Allison clearly panicking.
"Allison. Look at me breath with me." Billie says closing the door and running over and holding Allison's face.
"I- I can't." Allison whispers.
"Yes! Yes you can you can do it. I know you can." Billie says softly trying to encourage her.
After a few minutes Allison's breathing evens out and she's calm again.
"What's going on?" Billie whispers as she climbs into bed and starts playing with Allison's hair.
"Nothing." Allison whispers.
"I know that's not true Allison. You don't just wake up and have a panic attack for no reason."
"Oh but see you do Billie, because I just did." Allison says a little louder.
Billie sighs seeing that she's not going to get anywhere with her. "Paparazzi was there. At the cafe, and again at the mall, when you were with Claudia."
Billie whispers trying to change the subject.
"Did they see..Our kiss?" Allison whispers feeling awful.
"Nah just us talking." Billie whispers.
"I'm sorry by the way, that was really inconsiderate of me and I understand if you want some space for the media to back off." Allison whispers with tears filling her eyes.
"Wh- Allison no, although I'm not ready to announce us yet, you're mine and I'm so proud of that." Billie smiles trying to make Allison feel better.
Allison sighs. "I know you're trying to make me feel better but I don't, that doesn't help." Allison whispers.
"Am...I not enough? Do you want me to announce us? I'll do anything Allison." Billie whispers trying to figure out what Allison is hinting at.
"No I don't want you to announce us. And yes of course you are more than enough, it's not you it's me, I don't know what's wrong with me I'm just kinda sad today." Allison whispers.
"Its okay to have moments of sadness for unknown reasons I just want to make sure that the reason really is unknown." Billie whispers.
"It is Billie, I'm so sorry for being such a bitch toward you, you didn't deserve that." Allison whispers while turning over to meet Billie eyes.
"Sometimes when we feel a certain way and can't figure out why it can make us angry for no reason. I understand that you weren't mad at me, just confused, and that's okay! You just have to learn how to better cope with that feeling next time. Have you ever thought about going to a therapist?" Billie gently asks.
"No.." Allison says annoyed that Billie is completely right.
"Well if you ever want to I know a few good ones." Billie whispers.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For caring."
That. That right there broke Billie's heart into pieces. All Allison wants is to be noticed the way she notices, all she wants is to be loved the way she loves. And Billie is prepared to do that.
"Always." Billie whispers.
"Do you wanna go somewhere?" Allison whispers.
"Where?"
"Surprise."
"Sure." Billie giggles.
"Okay go get your shoes on." Allison smiles.
Allison knows a place, a private place, a place that she wants to tell Billie something important.
"A swing set?" Billie asks.
"Yeah." Allison smiles as she sits down on a swing.
"Its actually super cool, how secluded it is." Billie says as she sits down.
"Yeah. I actually brought you here because I wanted to tell you something." Allison says as she nervously picks at her nails.
"What is it?" Billie asks confused.
"I'm gonna finish the rest of school online so that I can go on tour with you." Allison smiles.
"Really? You would do that for me?" Billie says.
"Billie, I would do anything for you." Allison smiles.
"Can I kiss you." Billie whispers.
"You don't have to ask." Allison smiles.
They share a long meaningful kiss and then it starts it rain.
"Awh man I guess we better get going so we don't get super wet." Billie says getting up.
"Or.." Allison says raising an eyebrow.
"Or...What?"
"Or we could stay.."
"Stay and do what?" Billie asks.
"This." Allison says as she lays down in the muddy grass under the trees.
"Oh my God you know what? Fuck it." Billie laughs as she lays down beside her.
It's pouring down rain at this point and the only thing the girls can do is laugh at each other soaking in every single moment together. Who knows how much time we all have on this earth so why not do random crazy stupid things here and there, as one wise woman once said. "We're all gonna die one day and no one is gonna remember us so...Fuck it."
A/N you guys are gonna hate me by the end of this book. Sorry. Lol.
A/N Also I decided to not add anything that might hint at what Allison or what anyone might look like. I want you to use your imagination and see the characters how you want. :)