The refection staring back at me is unrecognizable. Her skin is too pale. The freckles kissing her cheeks and nose have faded to a dull brown. The tunic and trousers she wore weeks ago hang from her frame. When she tilts her head from side to side, I cringe at the sharpness of her once round cheeks. Dark circles rest below her eyes, and her hair hangs in stringy strands past her shoulders. I didn't notice the changes while in Allaji, but I was slowly withering away.
With a sigh, I dip my hands into the washbasin and scrub my face. It's the third time I've washed my skin. I woke up this morning with the overwhelming need to make myself clean of any remnants of Allaji. The rational part of my brain tells me I have done all I can and now I just need to give myself time to let the memories fade. But another side doesn't want so much of a speck of dust from the island to follow me home.
I dry my face with the damp towel and look at myself again. This time my reflection is not alone in the small round mirror. Kyron leans against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. "We should reach port in the next hour."
"I can't wait," I say, the words feeling like sand in my mouth. I haven't ventured out of this room since I woke up. Kyron and I spent yesterday in bed, snuggled against each other. He fell asleep minutes after our kiss, and I spent hours staring at him. We were safe within these walls. There were no questions to answer or consequences for our actions to face. Families weren't torn apart in this small room and an imminent war didn't exist. No crowns, no angry deity, just Raelle and Kyron.
I gather my hair to the nape of my neck and try to wrap it in place with a leather tie. My hands shake with nerves, and I lose my grip twice. Groaning, I toss the tie onto the counter and press my fingers to my eyes.
Kyron moves behind me until his chest is to my back. "May I?" he asks.
I look at him over my shoulder and nod. He separates my hair into three sections and sets to work braiding it. I close my eyes and enjoy the gentle tug. It feels good to give him control. For too many days, the wrong person ruled over me. They didn't treat me with respect and saw me as nothing more than a possession to dangle in front of their court. Everything I did was to keep hold of the smallest pieces of me—every breath, every word, every movement. I'm finally at peace knowing I'm in safe hands.
After tying the end of the braid, he guides me to face him and smooths down the tiny hairs framing my face. "No one expects you to walk off this ship like nothing happened to you," he whispers.
I shake my head and swallow past the lump growing in my throat. "No, but they will look to me for hope. If they see me as a survivor, they can continue to hope the same for their loved ones. I need to show those families that Zek hasn't won."
"You're better at this than me," he says.
"Better at what?"
He reaches for a strand of hair next to my cheek and twirls it around his finger. "Leading. Giving hope. Being what Pliris needs."
"Says the man who led the Lucent army. I know what you are capable of, and ruling is your calling, Your Majesty."
Kyron shakes his head and rolls his eyes.
His words from yesterday repeat in my head: I'm not a good ruler. How can a man who so easily fell into his role as general struggle to lead a kingdom? He has marched an entire army to war and gained the loyalty of people who should have feared him as a Stigian. He knows when to exercise authority and extend compassion. Every attribute of a good king is one he possesses, but he doesn't seem to see it that way.
"You really see yourself as an incompetent king," I say.
"Our kingdom is a mess because of me. People are still divided over syphoning, saving the Cyffred, and fighting the Allaji. The only thing they can agree on is that I'm not giving my all to the kingdom. And they're right. I've been nothing but single-minded since Zek took you. If it weren't for Borin and Abrum, things would be worse."
I hate his self-bout. Like anyone, he has questioned himself, but I've never seen him like this. Too many voices are drowning his confidence. It will take time to convince his people they are wrong, but I can combat the voice in his head now. It's lying to him, and it's my job to silence it.
"I understand that people expect you to present yourself as having it all together, but those closest to you know that's not the case. Rulers choose advisors because they aren't strong enough to carry the weight of an entire kingdom, and they definitely aren't flawless. It sounds like you've chosen two of the wisest men I know to guide you."
"I have," he agrees.
Invigorated by my first small win, I continue, "You're not the first ruler to be single-minded. Your mother was also single-minded in her quest to rule Stigian and Lucent. The things she did were horrific, but her kingdom still thrived because of those she trusted to advise her."
"I'm not sure that's the best example."
"Maybe not." I hold up a finger, letting him know I'm not done making my case. "You said I'm better at this, but do you think if roles were reversed that I wouldn't have only focused on you?" I grip his jaw and look him in the eyes. "I would have done whatever it took to bring you home."
"I can't do this on my own, Raelle."
I slide my hand to the back of his neck and say, "You're not alone. I'm here."
Kyron leans forward, places a kiss on my forehead.
"I really hope you didn't rescue me just for my guidance as a past ruler," I say, and his lips pull into a smile against my skin.
"Your insight as Lucent's queen for mere days is invaluable."
I pull back and grin up at him. "Look at that. Not only is Pliris's king smart and handsome, but he tells jokes too."
"My witty personality wins people over."
I glide my thumb over his lips and say, "I would have bet it was your vibrant sense of fashion or that death-glare you give when someone doesn't follow your directions exactly how you ordered them."
"First of all," he kisses the pad of my thumb, "there is nothing wrong with preferring to wear black. Not all of us can make a jewel encrusted gown with a plunging neckline look good. Second, I reserve the death-glare you speak of for one run-away princess. Mind you, she thought tea sipping and dinner parties prepared her to lead trained killers into enemy territory. I had a reason to glare."
Small joyous bubbles pop inside me one by one. This is the easy stuff; the moments I once anticipated with Kyron. We have a journey before us, but we have just regained a small piece of our normal.
I stand on my tiptoes and brush my lips against his. "Yet, you were the first to cave to her demands, and you even placed her before your king."
"I don't regret it, and I still bow to no one but you."
"Is that so, Your Majesty?"
Kyron lowers to the ground, kneeling before me with his hands on my hips. All playfulness leaves his face, replaced with complete adoration. "You're my queen, and there is nowhere else I'd rather be. The view is beautiful from down here."
"It's breathtaking from here as well," I say, combing my fingers through his smooth, ebony hair.
He presses a kiss to my stomach, his breath warm through the thin fabric of my tunic. My eyes flutter shut, and I cup the back of his head, holding him to me. His fingers inch under my shirt, and he lifts it enough to brush his lips over the sensitive skin just above the waist of my breeches.
"I missed worshiping you like this, Raelle. Did you miss it too?"
"Yes," I whisper, leaning against the basin and spreading my legs to make room for him.
He pulls the bow at the top of my breeches and sinks his finger behind the thin leather lace, sliding it through the first eyelets. He leans in and kisses the newly exposed skin. "I missed feeling you tremble, the taste of you on my tongue, and..." He unlaces my pants more and slides his thumb inside. "Feeling how wet you are for me."
"Fuck," I hiss, clenching the edge of the basin and tilting my head back.
"Eyes on me, princess. I want you watching everything I do to you."
I stare at him as he pulls the last of the lace free. My legs shake as he lowers my pants, abandoning them at mid-thigh. He slides a finger through my center and brings the glistening tip to his mouth. My breath hitches as he licks it clean.
"Do I taste like you remember?" I ask.
He kisses above my sex. "Better."
He is so close to where I need him, teasing me with the promise of what's to come. My center is aching to feel the stroke of his tongue and his mouth sucking my clit. Threading my hands in his hair, I press down on the top of his head.
"Please taste me," I beg.
His lips turn into a wicked smile. "That's my good girl. Let me hear you beg again."
My frustration and desire get the better of me. I grip his hair and tilt his head back. "Put your mouth on me."
"Yes, my queen." He digs his fingers into my thighs and pulls me to his mouth. His tongue licks along my seam, sending a jolt of bliss through my body. He nips at my tender flesh and sinks his tongue deeper. My legs give out when he sucks the most sensitive part of me. He holds me to his face as he works me closer to falling apart.
My hips move with the tempo he sets, and his name slips from my lips over and over again. I watch as his tongue moves in rapid flicks. The heat low in my stomach tangles into a knot. My breathing speeds up as the knot inside me is pulled tight, ready to snap and send me flying with ecstasy.
Three hard bangs come from the quarter's door, and my heart hammers against my chest, attempting to burst free from my body. Kyron holds me in place, refusing to stop.
A voice from the hallway says, "We're pulling into the harbor, Your Majesty."
I stiffen at the familiar sound.
"No you don't, princess. Give me what's mine," Kyron growls against my center. He replaces his tongue with his thumb and rubs slow circles. "Thank you, Rowan," he calls over his shoulder.
"You're welcome. I don't suppose my sister would like to say hello before we dock?"
"No," he barks, and Rowan's steps disappear down the hall.
I should be upset, but when Kyron turns back to me with lust-filled ebony eyes, all I can think is how I don't want him to stop. I need to come apart from his mouth, to give him the pleasure of tasting my release.
I relax against the counter, and he praises me, saying, "That's it. Let me finish taking care of you."
He slides two fingers inside me, and his tongue returns to my clit. My body tightens around him, racing toward a feeling only he can give me. With two pumps of his fingers, the tight knot inside of me breaks. My hand darts to my mouth to stifle my moans. Kyron doesn't let up, taking everything my body gives. The flat of his tongue sweeps over me several times in gentle strokes until my pleasure ebbs.
With a final kiss to my center, he pulls away. He runs the back of his hand over his mouth and reveals a satisfied grin. "So much better than imagining it," he says.
I place my hand on my chest and gulp down air to catch my breath. "I whole-heartedly agree."
After cleaning up, I sit on the edge of the bed and pull on my boots. A thought I pushed away in the throes of passion creeps into my mind. My cheeks burn with embarrassment as I ask, "You brought my little brother?"
Kyron stares into the wardrobe, avoiding my gaze. "Your little brother is almost as large as your father and a soldier now, and he insisted on coming."
"You're king. You could have said no."
"I could have, but that wouldn't have gone well in my quest to win your family over. Besides, he was closely watched the entire time."
I shrug on a thigh-length royal blue coat, popping the high collar and fastening two of the gold buttons running down each side. "Rowan doesn't constitute as my entire family. Who, by the way, adore you. He was being an overprotective shit. He would have gotten over it."
Kyron slides into his jacket—all black, tailored, with four braided closures down the front. "It had been weeks, and he was still contriving ways to murder me in my sleep."
I laugh at that. Rowan doesn't stand a chance against Kyron. The king would have him flat on his back before he knew what hit him. "And that wasn't a murderous look you shot to the door when he interrupted us?"
"He interrupted me in the middle of something very important. He's lucky he's still alive."
"You know you're in a dick measuring competition with my brother."
"Is it really a competition when there is a clear winner?"
I roll my eyes and fight back a smile. Breezing past him, I reach for the door.
"Hey, before we go, I have something for you," Kyron says.
I face him to find his lips set in a serious line and the playful sparkle gone from his eyes. He removes his hand from his pocket and uncurls his fingers. Laying in the center of his palm is the Eporri. We stare at the round opalescent stone. I didn't have time to think about it when I thrusted it into his hand on the boat. The last time I truly looked at the Sacred Gift it was covered in my blood. My hand moves to my outer thigh, brushing over the tender flesh I haphazardly sewed back together. I miss feeling the petals carved into the stone's surface under my skin.
"It belongs with you," Kyron says, bringing my attention back to him.
Nothing is further from the truth. The moment I fell from the Statera's grace, I forfeited my crown. Only sovereigns and their heirs can call upon the powers found in the Sacred Gifts of the Statera bestowed upon their kingdoms. The stone that once gave me the power to harness the gifts of others is as useless as a river rock to me.
I clasp my hands in front of me, stopping them from taking what is no longer mine. "The Eporri is too powerful for me to carry it around like some trinket. You should learn to wield it."
Kyron clenches the stone in his fist and his sharp jaw ticks. "You will be my queen and control its power again, Raelle."
"You're undeniably one of the most charming people I know, but it's going to take more than that to get the Statera's blessing to bind a union between us. No sibyl will perform the marriage ceremony."
He vehemently shakes his head. "That's not an option for me. I'll abdicate my throne, rip through every kingdom, and fall from grace myself if that's what it takes. I will not rule Pliris without you as my queen."
His declaration is everything I want to hear. He desires me above all else. But the duties of the crown are at the core of my being. Personal needs and wants can't hinder the betterment of the kingdom. As much as he wants to dedicate himself to me, he has made a promise to Pliris' people. It's a truth I know he isn't ready to hear, so I offer him another one.
"I'm not leaving your side. I will be there for every failure and triumph as you lead our people. What you will face in the weeks to come will be difficult, and you will need every ounce of help you can get. Right now, the Eporri serves you better than it does me." I ease the stone from his hand and slide it back into his pocket.
He releases a long sigh and presses his lips to my forehead. "You win for now, princess."
"Just for now," I say, opening the door.
He follows me into the dark hallway. My hand gravitates to his, and we intertwine fingers. Our time hidden away from the world is over. With each step up the stairs leading to the deck, reality comes rushing in. The challenges we must overcome are terrifying. They feel too enormous for a newly crowned king and a girl who spent most of her life in the grandeur of a castle. But not all of it will be terrible. Sprinkled in the bad is always some good, and the people waiting to reunite with us will be the very best.