a/n: Guess who's back from the void? Well, actually I wasn't in the void, I've just been super busy. I have a job and I'm doing school full time this semester, and then on top of all that I decided to get into a relationship, and he's great, I'm super into him, but there has been very little time for anything besides life. I just felt like you guys deserved some sort of explanation. I'll also probably add a song later, I couldn't find one tonight but I wanted to put this out. Anyways, I hope everyone's doing well and I hope you guys all enjoy the chapter!
The last three days of the trip were spent in Plymouth, Massachusetts, and after all of the walking tours, stops at historical buildings, and nonstop lessons, everyone was exhausted.
On the last night of the trip, they were all given an opportunity to spend their time however they'd like for a few hours. Kayden, Elias, Grant, and Ezra were currently hanging out together in the hotel hot tub. Most of the others had already gone off to bed, including Brooks and Theo who both turned in early.
"I can't believe next year is our last year of high school," Kayden said. He thought about it a lot, but in some sense, it still didn't feel real. Maybe high school was the kind of thing that existed as its own sort of dimension. You couldn't imagine being outside of it until you were. It seemed so odd to think that it would all just end and he would go on to the next thing, a different phase of life.
"Well, I can't wait to get out of here," Ezra said. "In a year, we'll be going to Yale. Do you think they'll let us be roommates there too?" He asked with a glance at Grant.
"If we're not, we still won't be more than a short walk away from each other," Grant said with a small smile.
Kayden looked at Elias before his eyes fell to the water. A short walk away from each other. He tried so hard not to be bitter about the ease with which Ezra and Grant would stay in each other's lives after graduation. He didn't want to think about what would happen to him and Elias. He thought maybe he could convince Elias to go to Yale, or find a way to go to Cambridge, but considering Elias' family legacy, and his own mother's unwillingness to pay for anything she didn't choose, he wondered if he'd ever see Elias again after high school.
For so long, he'd looked forward to his senior year in all of its glory of privileges and bragging rights as well as just being able to be done with high school. It signaled the end of childhood, the beginning of a new chapter, and bursting forth into the real world. Now all of that seemed less exciting and more...scary. He didn't know that he wanted to be a part of the real world, not yet anyway. It seemed like such a shame, just as he was beginning to enjoy school, it was almost over. He felt like a lot of things went like that, though. There were things he wanted in life, and goals he wished to achieve, but he never did anything about it until it was too late, and he never appreciated anything until it was nearly gone.
"It looks like a nice night out there," Elias commented distantly, glancing out the large glass windows that covered the walls of the pool area.
"Astor, It's thirty fucking degrees, don't tell me you're considering going out," Grant murmured.
"I could do with a smoke," Elias said with a shrug, standing and running his fingers through his hair before he left the hot tub.
"Yeah, me too," Kayden said after a moment of consideration, hoisting himself backward out of the hot tub before he got up to grab his shirt.
"Addicts," Grant chuckled, glancing at Ezra. "You ready to head up?"
Ezra smiled with a nod. "Yeah, I'm tired anyway. It's been a long weekend."
Kayden glanced from the two boys walking out the door to Elias who was now wearing a shirt that clung to his still-damp skin as he searched around the chair he'd left his things on.
"Hey, do you see my glasses anywhere?" He asked.
Kayden looked around for a moment, spotting the brown frames on the ground under the chair. He grinned as he picked them up and put them on. "You mean these ones?" He asked, looking at Elias with raised eyebrows, though Elias' face was only a blur to him. "Also holy shit, you are blind."
Elias smiled and picked them up off the redhead's face, setting them back on his own and adjusting them a bit. "Yeah, that's why I wear them."
"You kinda look weird without them anyway," Kayden said.
Elias chuckled sarcastically. "Gee, thanks."
"I mean, not that you look weird in general, you're just like, different without them, y'know? You look good."
The blond gave him a small smirk in response. "Do I?"
"Don't let it go to your head," Kayden said, walking past him, and grabbing his lighter from his bag on the way out the door.
The cool night air bit at Kayden's bare arms as he stepped outside. He made his way over to the rocks and stepped over the metal railing that separated the cliff from the parking lot. It was a beautiful night, he could see the stars scattered across the sky like glitter in the midst of the blackness and the smell of the ocean carried up to where they were sitting. There was something so peaceful about sitting out there. For a long time, the only sound was the waves crashing against the shore and the soft whistle of the wind.
Kayden nestled into a collection of boulders behind him as he took a slow drag of his cigarette, staring out over the ocean. "What are you doing over the summer?" He asked softly, curious.
Elias glanced over at him, his expression unreadable. "Probably charity work and SAT prep classes," He murmured. "I might also get a summer job."
Kayden smiled at that. "Like you need the money."
Elias shrugged. "It gets me out of the house," He said, his gaze drifting down to the lit cigarette hanging loosely between his fingers. "I feel like you're making my bad habit worse," He said, pushing a smile onto his lips.
"Don't blame me. Before I met you, I only smoked a cigarette once every few weeks," Kayden laughed softly. "We should find something else to do together. Like...we could play cards or something."
"We could get coffee," Elias suggested, crushing his cigarette on the rock beneath him.
The redhead thought about that for a moment. "Yknow...some people consider going out to coffee together to be a date."
"Some people meaning you?" Elias asked, one brow raised slightly.
"Depends."
"On?"
"If 'some people' also includes you or not."
"Well, I'm just suggesting we go out to a coffee shop to have coffee and talk, preferably the one in town so we don't have to deal with several members of the student council coming up to me at random times to talk about things that could be dealt with by anyone other than me. Of course, we would solely be doing this in an effort to stop smoking, because nicotine is unhealthy and addictive, and we really should be more careful about how much we're outside after curfew. It would only be a date if I paid for you," Elias said simply, a tiny playful smile tugging at his lips as he said the last sentence.
"What if I just so happened to forget my wallet?" Kayden asked.
"That would be extremely unfortunate," Elias grinned, though it faded a bit as he looked back out at the water and their conversation faded out into silence again.
"...Why do you hate being home so much?" It probably seemed random, but it was a question that had been on Kayden's mind since the Christmas party, though he never felt right in asking, and maybe he still didn't, but he couldn't help himself.
Elias stayed quiet for so long that Kayden began to wonder if he'd even answer, but then he took in a hesitant breath. "I just don't really like it there anymore," He said, running his fingers through his damp hair. "My stepmom hasn't ever been very fond of me, and my dad likes me even less.."
"I didn't know your parents divorced."
"They didn't."
Kayden wasn't sure what he meant by that, but then it hit him. "Oh..." His eyes widened as he tried to scramble for something to say. "I mean, shit, that sucks-"
"It's okay, she's been gone a long time," Elias said, twisting the ring on his finger. "She got sick when I was ten and only had a couple of years after that. And my dad...it just destroyed him. He came to America because of her. My family in England never liked her much, so after her passing, they tried to convince my father to come back to London and find someone more suitable. We haven't been back since that argument," He sighed. "Everything's been so different since, but...I'm starting to forget the way things used to be."
Kayden listened quietly as the blond spoke. It was the most he'd opened up about himself before and he didn't want to stop him. He thought Elias probably needed to talk about it, he wondered how long he'd gone without saying anything to anyone. He wondered if anyone else even knew at school. When he seemed to be finished, though, Kayden passed him a soft glance.
"What was she like?"
After a moment, Elias stopped twisting the gold ring on his finger. "Kind." He said softly, setting his hands on his knees. "She was the kindest person I've ever known. She cared about everyone she met in this relentless way. She always asked me how I was doing, and when I was angry or upset, she'd take me out on a walk in the woods. And she loved reading, she always read me poems when I was trying to go to sleep at night," His smile was pained but sweet as he said it. "I think, if she were still here, she'd be happy with whoever I am...whoever I choose to be with. She was always telling me to accept people as they are, because one day you'll be at death's door and all you'll have to show for yourself are the things you've done and the people you've loved." He let out a slow breath. "I really miss her sometimes."
Kayden wasn't sure what to say at first, so he just took Elias' hand, shuffling a bit closer to him. "I'm sure she'd be proud of you," He said softly with a smile.
"She'd be proud of the company I keep."
Kayden grinned. "You think she'd like me?"
"She'd love you."