SEASON TWO, EPISODE FIVE:
HOMECOMING, PT. 1
LUCKY mishallon
"Last week y'all lost to Glenville. Week before that y'all lost to Maple. Homecoming game is this week, and I'll be damned if y'all lose this game!" One of our coaches yelled.
The loud door to the gym opened and closed not long after, footsteps being heard as the person made their way to the stage. Despite my nosiness, I didn't turn back to look, only because of how serious Coach Ben looked.
"We practicing inside, Coach." I say. "This indoor practice ain't gone help us win the game Friday anyway."
"Ask me if I care about that, Luck?" He stepped close to me, making me suck my teeth.
"I'm just saying." I put my hands up in defense. "Practicing indoors ain't helping us 'cause we ain't doing nothing but running. Might as well cut the practice short and we just have an early practice tomorrow or a longer one after school."
"Nigga!" Marvin groaned from beside me.
Coach Ben didn't reply, he just walked back to his previous spot. "If I let y'all go for now, best believe y'all black asses..and Tyler..better be here at six A.M. sharp tomorrow. I'm not playing."
"We don't even need to practice."
"After all those boys who were involved in the rape last year got expelled y'all have been playing shittier than ever! All them other teams already looking at us sideways and now y'all not even helping! Y'all playing shitty and they already think we got a bunch of ruthless ass sex offenders playing for us!"
"And I ain't sure about a lot of shit, but I'm sure as HELL that y'all sorry asses need to be practicing. For most of y'all this is y'all last year playing Varsity football, 'cause I know for certain that y'all asses ain't playing in college!"
I knew I wasn't playing in college anyway, so that ain't bother me. I ain't make the football team until this year which could've been due to the loss of all of the players, because I'm not that good of a player.
I played JV basketball up until this year, only because you can't make JV as a senior, and even if I make the team, I'm going to be on the bench and I know it, but I don't care.
Baseball and track were my sports. Track was eh, but I enjoyed it. I wasn't planning on going to school for it. I wanted to go to school on a baseball scholarship if anything, I was a fantastic baseball player, you could ask anyone.
"Take y'all sorry asses home and go to sleep, because if you ain't here by 6:15 tomorrow then I'm throwing those JV subs in and I'm NOT playing!" Coach Ben dismissed us, everybody soon evacuating the gym.
"If you thought we was gone lose with our varsity players we definitely losing with them other niggas." I mutter, walking towards the stage to grab my bags, pausing once I saw Saida sitting on the edge of the stage.
"Yooo," I greet her, holding my hand out to dap her out and she goes with it. "What you doing here?"
"Didn't feel like going home." She shrugs. "I didn't know you played football."
"I just want a varsity jacket, not gone hold you." I grab my duffel bag.
"I get it." She nods her head.
"What time you getting home?"
"When I text my ride."
"Want me to wait? I gotta wait for my Uber so I can wait to order it until your ride comes."
"This seems like a recurring thing with y'all. Being nice at first and then an ass later is a friendship thing? Like y'all gotta have both in order to be part of the group?" She tilts her head and laughs. I suck my teeth, knowing what she meant.
"I'm kidding!"
"Right..."
She scooted over on the stage, tapping the now empty spot next to her. "Sit here..if you want. While you wait on your Uber."
Nodding, I hopped up in the spot with ease, looking over at her. She looked nervous, like she wanted to say something.
"Say it."
"Say what?" She furrowed her eyebrows, looking confused.
"Whatever it is that you want to say. I can tell that there's something you want to get off of your chest, so just say it."
"Um..I dunno if I want to say it because I really don't want to seem like I'm obsessed with him or something."
Mekhi.
Of course.
"I'm really going to get over him, so I'm not going to say anything. I just..sometimes I wonder if he still talks about me." She purses her lips, looking at me as if she genuinely wanted an answer. "Does he?"
"You want the honest answer?"
She nods.
"To be honest, he doesn't talk about you anymore. He did during the whole besties thing that lasted for barely a week, then he just...stopped."
"Oh." She says, not much energy in her response. "Okay. That's fine. I can live with that."
"Good. I hate to sound like a dick but you need to get over him, man. Mekhi is my closest friend, and I love the nigga to death but you're stressing yourself out way too much and I know just as much as everybody else about how fucked up your health was in the past and I don't want you to get so wrapped up in Mekhi that you end up going back to that dark place you were once in."
"Mekhi isn't going to trigger my eating disorder. If that comes back then it's for a completely different reason."
"Okay, well that's good to know. Regardless of that, though, you still need to let go. We're young as hell, man. You can move on."
"It's not that easy." She sighs, putting her face in her hands. "You don't get it."
"He's your first love, you never felt that way about anybody before. Yeah, I get it. At least you didn't fuck him, I mean that should help."
She looked up at me with a pout on her face, making me sigh. "Be serious, Saida."
"I thought it would fix things, I thought we'd get back together." She dramatically falls backwards so she's now laying on the stage.
"It was recent?"
"The day Zion had that party. That was when." She lets out a sigh. "I regret it now, but I can't really change anything. I just wish I never did it. It all backfired, now I'm assed out with no boyfriend."
"Shit happens. People do shit we end up regretting all the time. Just gotta learn how to take it to the chin."
"I can try, can't say it'll work though." She says, staring at the ceiling as I grab my phone.
50 boyz >
Today 7:38 PM
Khi
Wendy's The Move After You Outta Practice Luck
Zaire
Free 4for4s on me Zion got the Wendys methods
Khi
Hell Ya 😂😂😂😭😭 Makiya In This Bitch Downing This Biggie Bag Bra
Khi
She Look Good Asf Too Idgaf Man I Love My Bitch IonKno 😭😭🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
Zaire
Come on man
Khi
I LOVE MY OLE LADY***
Khi
Damn Bra
Khi
Wya Lucky?
At the school still. I'm waiting on Saida's ride to come then Ima call my Uber
Khi
O Ard
•••
"You sure you don't wanna sit down with me after you order your food?" I ask Saida as we get out of my Uber.
She ended up figuring out I was going to Wendy's and since it was the one Zion worked at, she decided to come and just stay until Zion got off and go home with her.
"I'm sure. I don't want to sit and act like I'm friends with them because I'm not. It's fine."
"What time Zion get off?"
"11:45."
"It's not even eight yet. You sure you wanna wait that long?"
"I have a charger with me. I'll be fine."
"If that's what you say."
We make our way to the register and I allow her to order first. "I don't care, Tommie know he can take my shift next Tuesday because I have court and I can't miss it for this shit. But when he wanted me to take that long ass shift from 3:30 to close I took that bitch even when I had school the next day but OKAY!"
Wendy's tea, oooh!
"Hey, bookie!" She turned around, smiling immediately when she saw Saida. "What you want?"
"Ten piece spicy with a medium fry and a large Sprite with ranch and the hot honey sauce. I want a cookie too, I ain't eat all day I'm hungry." Saida yawned.
"Okay." She tapped something on the screen. "Fake like you doing Apple Pay. The cameras watching."
Saida did as she said, getting her phone out and holding it to the card reader as if she was doing Apple Pay while Zion printed out a receipt.
"I could've paid for it." Saida sighs, taking the receipt from Zion.
"You could've, but if I'm working then what are you paying for? That's dumb. Just go wait for your order to be called." She waved her off. "You leaving after you get your food or are you staying with them?"
"I'm staying but not with them. I'm probably gonna sit back there in that corner and watch Netflix and do homework or something. Just let me know when you're off and I'm leaving with you."
"Okay. I'll bring you another burger in like...two or three hours then. Just so you have enough to eat since you didn't eat today."
"Okay." Saida nods her head and steps over as I step up to order.
"Lemme get that triple Bourbon burger wit' a large fry and two large Dr. Peppers."
"You're not going to drink two Dr. Peppers, Lucky." Zion looked up at me, a look of disgust on her face.
"I'ma finish it. I'm a big boy."
"You want it for free like the rest of your friends or what?" She reached up to fix her hat.
"Nah, I'll pay. I ain't like that."
"$16.19."
"Maybe I should've took that discount then, huh?" I reach in my pocket and pull out my wallet, grabbing a twenty and giving it to her. "I don't want the change back either, put it in the tip jar."
"Lucky been havin, I know that's right." Saida says under her breath, gaining a laugh from me.
"Man, I'm finna fuck this Wendy's up so bad you don't even understand I'm finna demolish that shit on my sonnnn!" I lean back a little, rubbing my stomach.
"On your what?"
"On my son, man." I repeat, her eyes damn near bucking out of her head.
"Aw, I never knew you had a kid. What's his name?"
"Girl, I'on got no fucking baby." I jerked my head back, feeling slightly disrespectful. "You just think I got a baby 'cause I'm a young, attractive Black man. Ain't it?"
"No..I literally only thought that because you just put something on your son which I wouldn't expect somebody to do unless they literally had a son."
"Oh, nah. I just be trolling."
"Don't troll like that. It's really not funny, I felt so bad for you at that moment."
"You would've felt bad if I had a kid?" I stopped rubbing my stomach.
"Yes. We're too young for that. Imagine having to go to prom with a funny looking kid on your hip, that's just not something that I'd wish on anybody on this Earth." She shakes her head. "Mm-mm. The tongue is too powerful to be saying stuff like that anyways if it's not true."
"Type. I get it."
"Good. Glad you do."
"Order 254!" Some girl shouted as she walked to the counter with the bag and a large soda cup. Saida looked at her receipt before turning around and grabbing her stuff from the girl.
I waited about a minute before mine was called and I got my two water cups and went to the pop machine and filled both cups to the rim with Dr. Pepper before securing the lids and putting the straws in.
"You sure you good sitting alone?" I ask Saida once more. She looks back, drinking from her cup and nods her head.
"I'm fine. I do this all the time. You go and have some fun with your friends."
"Alright, bruh. Just let me know if you get bored. I'll save you a seat, alright?"
"Don't expect the seat to get filled but thanks anyway." She smiled a tight-lipped smile before walking off to the back.
VENUS smith
"I just feel like everybody hates on me because I'm perfect and I know what I want and I won't stop until I get it." I stare at my therapist as we sit on our Zoom session.
"Like, Hadiya wants my life because I could have Salome at the drop of a hat if I really wanted to, or at least I could've. I won't lie, I probably can't right now but give me a few months and I'll be back to where I used to be."
"So..this Salome, she's a girl, correct?"
"Mhm." I nod.
"So, are you a lesbian? Bisexual, perhaps?"
"No. I'm straight. The only girl I've ever been attracted to is Salome."
"Okay.." She wrote something down on her notepad that was on the desk I'm assuming. "Now, Venus."
"Yes?"
"Your parents say that you show signs of someone with NPD."
"You know for a fact that I don't even know what that is, twin." I yawn and she laughs a little.
I just turn the bitches on like a light switch. Old and young.
"Narcissistic personality disorder."
"They think that I'm a narcissist? That's a disorder? I thought that was normal to think you're better than others."
"Do you genuinely believe that? That you're better than others in many aspects?"
"Not many. All. It's not hard to feel like some people are beneath you especially when looking at it you can just tell that you're better than someone. That doesn't make me a narcissist. That makes me a realist."
"Um.." She trailed off. "Our session is coming to an end, so what I can say is that I can not diagnose you with NPD. I will leave that to a psychologist or a psychiatrist. However, you do show signs of a narcissist so I would suggest that you and your parents go and get a professional diagnosis."
"Right." I end the Zoom call, not really wanting to hear the end of it.
I get out of my chair and slip my feet into my slippers before leaving out of my room and heading downstairs. "Y'all think I'm a narcissist?"
"Venus, we don't have time for this. Go upstairs and complete all of your work." My mom dismisses me.
"You can't answer the question? You think I'm a narcissist?" I ask and she doesn't respond. I scoff and turn towards my stepdad. "You think I'm a narcissist?"
"I think you have narcissistic traits, yes. You think you're better than everyone and I know that you aren't joking when you say it. That's the issue. The fact that you genuinely believe that you are better than most people you come in contact with. You put yourself on a pedestal, V, and that's not healthy."
"Blah, blah." I say once he finished. "You're done now?"
"That's disrespectful." My mom said sternly. "And are you going to homecoming? You never said anything about a ticket."
"I'm not going."
"Why not?" Malcom asked, looking concerned.
"Because don't nobody at that school even like me. I'm not going just to sit in a corner and have a miserable ass time the whole night. I'm already miserable at home, why switch it up?"
"Venus." My mom said with a straight face. "Seriously?"
"Whattt?" I frown. "Y'all have me locked up in this house all day doing absolutely nothing because I have no friends and y'all don't trust me enough to go out and make some more. I made one shitty mistake and now y'all just won't let me grow!"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Let me live! Let me go out to parties and make friends. I don't know! Let me do something with my life because sitting upstairs and staring at the same four walls every hour of every day is getting annoying and miserable! Every day that I sit up there I feel like I'm going to break!" I feel myself about to cry, but I try to suck it up.
I want to cry, and deep down I feel that I need to. But, I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know if my feelings are even valid.
"Calm down." She walked over and grabbed me.
"Let me go!" I try to get out of her grip. "Can I get the keys? I just want to go clear my mind. Please?!"
She looked back at Malcom who shrugged, grabbing the keys before tossing them over to us. I broke one arm out of her grip and caught the keys as she eventually let go.
"Where are you headed?"
"Hell if I don't pray."
•••
I sit outside of the house with my feet crossed while waiting for the person I was waiting on to come out of the house and get in the car, because I'd been waiting for a while and really wanted to get this whole conversation over with.
I didn't even really talk to this person anymore, I just needed to talk to someone who wouldn't judge me as much.
Hearing the passenger's side door open made me look over to see Marquise getting in the car with little to no emotion on his face. "Malc let you take the car?"
"Mhm." I nod, starting the car up. "Hope you're not doing anything."
"You just turned the car on so regardless, I was going to do whatever you said."
"I like that in you." I got in my regular position and pulled the car out of the driveway.
We drove for about five minutes in complete silence before we arrived at a small little dam that I used to go to whenever my mom pissed me off.
So I was here often.
I parked the car and went back to sitting criss-cross, looking over at Marquise.
"You think I'm full of myself?"
"Yes, but I think you just have a lot of self confidence and you don't lower it for anybody, which I admire."
"Do you think I have too much, though? Like maybe I'm a narcissist in ways?"
"Nah," He shrugs. "I'on really know too much about them anyway though so I can't tell you even if I wanted to."
"Right."
"Why you saying all of this anyway?"
I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. Starting to feel like I'm causing a lot of problems and maybe I should just...be gone."
"Gone how?"
"I don't know."
I knew. I just wouldn't say.
"I just feel like everybody would be better off without me."
"Don't kill yourself if that's what you're talking about."
"I mean, if I do, who will care? I don't have no friends, boo." I reach over and touch his nose.
"I'd care, and that's saying a lot because I shouldn't. You made me think you had feelings for me when in reality you just had feelings for Salome. I can't even hold that against you but that shit hurt my heart once I realized what was happening. Even after all of that, I still cared. I'll always care. So for what it means, I'd care.."
I sigh, lifting my leg up and frustratedly kick the steering wheel, letting the horn honk. Sucking my teeth, I just keep kicking, releasing all of my frustration.
"Venus, relax!" Marquise reached over and grabbed my legs so that I wouldn't keep kicking. "Calm down! Are you good?"
I didn't know how to answer that. I wanted to be, but I know I probably wasn't.
"I don't know! I don't know!" I begin to shout, my eyes filling with tears as I try my hardest to not cry.
People always thought that I was doing fine because I hadn't changed how I acted in school. I was the same old Venus. Same attitude, same smart remarks, everything was the same. Nothing was new this school year besides the fact that I had no friends.
Everyone expects Salome to have some problems or be a little different from last year because of all that happened, and I guess people expect Hadiya to act a certain way because she got cheated on and then beat up, but no one ever thinks I have a right to act different or feel a certain way.
What people fail to realize is that I lost my best friend. The person that I've spent every day with since fourth grade. The person I've spend holidays with, went on vacations with, shared clothes with, all of that. I lost that. I lost the other half of me.
Even without being involved with each other romantically, I guarantee I would've been fine. It's just something about not having any contact with Salome that feels so weird. I've been feeling so terrible about everything and my mental state has been shit.
Imagine losing the one person in your life who doesn't judge you. Your one confidant. The one person who will always be there no matter what. I lost that. I had no one. I was all alone.
I wasn't used to being alone. It hurt so fucking bad. Everything I've ever done, every obstacle I've ever had to complete, I've gone through with Salome. Now our entire friendship is just a memory.
And I don't know what to do.
And I don't know how to explain my feelings in a healthy way that won't end in a bunch of people looking at me like I'm crazy for having feelings.
I'm just tired of being the bad guy.
a/n:
2/2 for the mid chapters man i'm doing so good. 3.7k words tho i just couldn't get a stable plot for the life of me but it's okay cus next chapter the hoco chapter so.
q: who do u wanna see more of?
q: thoughts?
1/19/23.