JESSA
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"Can we slow down?" I asked.
"No, your Highness! The music is fantastic! Let's feel it!"
"Ah yes, the music is indeed fantastic. But please just slow down for me, will 'ya?"
Prince Ellis of Preoryn Kingdom looks at me and slightly raises an eyebrow. Up close, he kind of looks weird. His blue eyes are glinting from the gigantic chandelier, his freckles are very distinctively dotting their way across his rosy and slim cheeks. Even his curly orange hair is radiant under a black top hat. Unlike the previous Prince, there are no fancy accessories attached to his vest. But a hefty violet gem about the size of my own fist is settled on the top of his neck tie.
"Is the Princess Blaidrah of Shirene can't dance? You're supposed to be perfect!" Obviously not listening to my demands, he clutches my waist even harder and basically drags me along with his moves.
I frown as I try to keep up with his steps. 'You're supposed to be perfect!' Perfect daw? Ano nalang ba ang tingin nila kay Blaidrah, isang diyos na hindi pwedeng magkamali? Ganito ba talaga ang tingin nila sa Prinsesa?
"Such a unique way to get to know each other, huh? Feel free to ask me anything, your Highness," He said.
We continue to glide across the ballroom. The people around me are still in their different worlds. Some are dancing along with us yet most of them are chatting with each other. I roam my eyes again, then like a magnet, my attention is once again on the Enchanting man of the ballroom. He's in a nearer circle of people and he's towering over them as he nods and smiles at the ladies around him.
He turns his head and meets my eyes again. And then, he smiles.
My heart jumps in my ribs. God, kahit ilang beses niya gawin 'yon, hindi ako magsasawa. Ngumiti nalang din ako sa kanya.
Pero muli na namang nawala ang atensyon ko sa kanya ng lalo na namang bumilis ang kilos nitong prinsipeng kaharap ko. Then using his grip on my waist, he drags me and we twirl. Freaking twirled. Muntik ko na namang maapakan ang dulo ng gown ko, pero mahigpit pa rin ang kapit niya sa akin.
"I will be the worthiest of your suitors, Princess!" Prince Ellis suddenly exclaims.
I quickly look at his face then curl my lips into an annoyed scowl before answering. "At paano mo naman nasabi 'yan?'
"I am a rich Royal, I can give you anything I want. We can rule our land together, we can live in a fortress and be powerful. Also, we can have many children." He winks.
I looked at him in disgust. Kahit na ang lakas ng kapit niya sa aking katawan ay pinilit kong makawala sa mga bisig niya. Which doesn't happen, his grip only lightens around my waist but never lets me go. "Children? What the heck? Naririnig mo ba 'yang sinasabi mo? Paano kung sabihin ko na ayaw ko magkaroon ng anak?"
"Princess, hindi ka pwedeng hindi magkakaanak! Think about our bloodline and possible heirs!"
"No."
"What do you mean? We can be the most powerful couple in history. Imagine how beautiful our children will be because of our royal genes."
Those words hit me like a freaking truck that broke through my morality. I finally gathered enough strength to break away from his grip. People around me gasp in surprise. Prince Ellis doesn't move from his spot and only fixes his blue eyes on me, now glinting in a bizarre gleam.
"Can you stop?" I said. "Can't you hear what you just said? You're making me uncomfortable."
"Oh. Right." I hear him say before letting out an ugly chuckle. "I'm sorry."
Halata naman na hindi totoo ang sorry na sinabi niya. I click my tongue in annoyance and jerk my head in a direction where I couldn't see the Prince. But my eyes found the Enchanting man again. He's looking at me with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, an expression mix of surprised and angry. He first studied my face, then stared daggers at Prince Ellis. Pakiramdam ko konting galaw lang ng Prinsipe ay hindi siya magdadalawang isip na harapin ito kalabannin.
People around us are starting to notice the intense atmosphere we created in the middle of the ball room. Kahit na tuloy tuloy pa rin ang musika, ang karamihan sa kanila ay marahang tumigil at pagmasdan kami. I fist my hands to calm myself. Shit, shit. Ganito ba lagi ang dinadatnan ni Princess Blaidrah? The thousands of eyes that seem to always watch her? Everything feels so freaking suffocating in this world.
Halos gusto ko nang layasan ang lugar na ito, at siguro, hatakin din ang Enchanting na lalaki na iyon palabas dito. Pero hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Sigurado ako na lalo lamang ako maliligaw kung aalis ako dito.
Prince Ellis must thank the other people in this room who are genuinely enjoying the event. Also to the fact that this is technically an event for Princess Blaidrah — another person— despite that I am using her body. The last thing I must do is to ruin this. I must respect the Princess and her dignity.
Without looking at anyone, I step back into Prince Ellis' space, making it an invitation for us to continue dancing. Prince Ellis understands what I meant and takes my hand and waist again.
Wala namang umimik sa aming dalawa at patuloy lang namin sinabayan ang musika. Isa isa rin namang inalis ng mga tao sa paligid ang kanilang mga mata sa amin at bumalik sa sarili nilang mga ginagawa. I let out a breath, something I never knew I've been holding for so long.
Prince Ellis' hands on my hand and waist are cold and heavy. It's freaking uncomfortable. Dumagdag pa ang mabigat na tensyon sa aming dalawa.
Especially when his eyes are still engrossed in me, trailing every inch of my face with those bizarre blue eyes. Just how weird can he be? His grip on my waist is getting tighter, his breath against the skin on my bare neck leaves distressing goosebumps. Shit, shit, he's way too close. Too close.
The annoying small space between us seems to flare something inside my chest. Somewhere from the point where my heart is currently beating fast. The flaring sensation grows warmer, spreading across my shoulders and to my arms, then to my hand under Prince Ellis' grasp.
Bago ko malaman kung ano ang nararamdaman ko, bigla nalang ako binitawan ng Prinsipe at halos itulak ako palayo sa kanya. Nakataas ang mga kamay niya habang tinitgnan ako na may nanlalaking mga mata, na para 'bang isa akong dumi na bigla nalang lumitaw at nahawakan niya.
Surprisingly, iilan lang ang nakapansin sa nangyari kaya ilang ulo lang ang lumingon sa direksyon namin.
"What in the name of god?" Dinig kong bulong ng Prinsipe bago niya pinunas sa vest niya ang kanyang mga kamay.
What in the name of God 'nga naman kasi ang nangyari sa akin? I glanced at my arms, and realized that I am in a fighting stance. Fighting stance, of all reactions. My other leg under my puff ball gown is a foot step backward. Both my fisted hands are leveled on my face, as if I am protecting it.
What the hell. Parang automatic ang katawan ko matapos niya akong itulak palayo sa kanya. And it feels like I've done this before, countless times. From how my instincts reacted. I've done this before, to protect myself from an attack.
What the hell.
My cheeks suddenly scorched hot in embarrassment. Lalo na muli na namang nabalik sa amin ang atensyon ng mga tao sa paligid, definitely studying my posture. Shit. Dahan dahan kong binaba ang mga kamay ko at inayos ang porma ng binti ko. I awkwardly fisted the skirts of my gown and gaze at the ground.
"Princess Blaidrah of Shirene, you are one peculiar, huh?" Prince Ellis suddenly states. His hands are still stiffly opened like he just touched something he shouldn't.
Hindi ako sumagot at tumitig lang pabalik sa kanyang mga asul na mga mata. Then he smirked, closed his hands so tight I basically saw how his knuckles turned to white. He furiously shifts his gaze from me to somewhere far. "It was a great dance, Princess."
Then just like that, Prince Ellis walks away and blends in with the crowd.
Wow, what a fucking gentleman.
Pero kahit na lalo lang akong magalit sa nangyari, nagpakawala lamang ako ng malalim na hininga at marahang pinikit ulit ang mga mata. The warm sensation that covered me almost faded out like a fire calming down from a strong wind. All of the tension tightening around my body lightened. God damn it, ngayon ko lang nalaman kung gaano ako hindi komportable sa presensya ng lalaking iyon.
I open my eyes and immediately glance at the Enchanting man location, hoping to meet those glittering hazel green eyes. But instead, what I only saw is his back. Then when he turns, a girl in white mermaid tail gown is in between his arms. His hands are gently settling at her waist while the other is holding the woman's hand. Both of them are smiling as they sway along with the music. They're dancing.
I just stand still and watch him smile and talk lovingly with the woman. I waited for him to remove his eyes from that woman and meet mine instead. But it never happened.
Nakatayo lamang ako sa gitna ng ballroom at tinitigan lamang siya. Pinagmasdan ko kung paano niya sinasagot ang mga sinasabi ng babae na may malawak na mga ngiti sa kanyang labi, pati na rin kung paano kuminang ang mga mata niya mula sa mga nakakabulag na chandeliers, and probably mula na rin sa kung ano mang sinasabi ng babae na mukhang tuwang tuwa siya.
Oh.
Oh.
I am being ignored.
A heavy feeling settles inside me, like a big and heavy object pressing on my chest. Pero pumikit nalang ulit ako at umiling. Nagseselos ako? At bakit naman? Kung tutuusin 'nga, hindi ko naman kilala 'yon. He's just another royal, or aristocrat, or a wealthy person like everyone else in this place. He's a stranger...
A very familiar stranger.
"THE REZAR KINGDOM!"
The King's loud voice snaps me back to reality. I turned and saw the King and Queen were once again on my side and greeting another woman. But I cannot focus when I can still see the woman laughing gracefully while the Enchanting man sways them according to the slow melodic music. The woman seems to be so comfortable under his hold, it's very obvious from how her thin laugh would cut through the noises. My heart squeezes from envy. Gusto ko na rin makaramdam ng comfort. Gusto ko na rin kumalma.
But hell, the universe really hates me, huh? It seems like it enjoys sending me to a strong storm, no matter how long I walk there'll be no escape, there'll be no sense of comfort.
Ayaw ko na.
"Uhm, Princess?"
Nagulat ako sa biglang tumawag sa akin. Lumingon ako at ang nakatitigan ang isang matangkad na lalaki.
Inayos ko ang postura ko at tinigan lang ang hindi pamilyar na lalaki sa aking harapan. Pinagmasdan ko ang bilugan niyang mukha at ang kanyang maamong mga mata. Halos tumingala naman ako para tignan siya because oh my god this guy is huge. Halos matakpan na niya ang ilaw ng mga chandeliers dito sa pwesto ko, the shadows from his broad shoulders loom over me. He should look intimidating because of his height, but I don't feel scared at all because of the way his face is twisted into confusion and worry.
At first, hindi ko inakala na isa siyang Prinsipe. Pero kitang kita ko kung paano siya tumayo, sa ayos ng kanyang buhok, to the red and white fur dropping from his shoulders to his ankles, and to the tiny crown on settling atop of his brunette head. He is definitely a Prince. A less-flashy Prince.
"Something seems to bother you, Princess. Is everything alright?"
Hindi agad ako nakasagot sa tanong niya. He really sounded genuinely worried. I gulp in an attempt to answer, but the words immediately die in my mouth. Because the answer was way too overwhelming for me. I know that everything will never be alright ever since I first arrived in this place, in the body of a person with clear heavy responsibilities and choices to make.
"I am Prince Nicolas from Rezor Kingdom." He held out his huge hand. "Will..uhm.. Dance with me? Maybe I could try to at least make you feel better.. From whatever you're worrying about."
I didn't answer for a second. I stand there and stare at the Prince's hand as he waits for my response. There is a woman's laughter resounding from somewhere, but I do not have the heart to turn my head and unintentionally glance at the Enchanting man and his new partner.
I sigh first, then meet Prince Nicolas' gaze and nod. "Yes, a dance could help me."
I finally place my hand on his. He doesn't move for a second, probably trying to think why I didn't deny what he just said before, but then he gently squeezes my hand in reassurance before finally holding my waist.
Dahan dahan lang naming sinundan ang banayad na musika. Kumpara sa ibang mga Prinsipe, tahimik lamang ang kaharap ko ngayon at hindi rin masyadong mahigpit ang kapit niya sa akin. But honestly speaking, it seems like he is just an amateur in dancing. I can sense it from his stiff moves and hesitant little steps. But he's trying his best, and I think I have to appreciate that.
Naririnig ko pa rin ang marahang tawa ng babae mula kung saan, at sigurado akong galing iyon sa babaeng kasama nung lalaki. Ano naman kaya ang nakakatawa? Bakit ba parang ang saya saya niya?
And the universe really likes to mess up with me, for my eyes trailed on my side, where that pair is dancing happily. Ngiting ngiti pa rin ang babae habang marahan niya pang tinatapik tapik ang balikat ni lalaki.
I watch as his fingers grips the woman's pale hand. I study the way his palm is comfortably resting at her slim waist. An annoying feeling twirls in my guts and I frown. Those skin contacts look so freaking pleasant, it seems so far and different from the touches I made earlier.
"You are very bothered, Princess."
I return my look to Prince Nicolas. His big gentle eyes are full of concern. We're moving at a very slow pace despite the music's increasing rhythm. I cannot lie in front of his face showing genuine emotion, so I drop my gaze on the ground and answer..
"Things.. Doesn't make any sense," I said without thinking. Oh my God, that was kind of a weird statement. What the hell.
Yet, in my relief, Prince Nicolas only hums agreement. "I know what you're feeling, Princess. I feel like I am pinned hard in the wheel of life, and I just keep on spinning and spinning endlessly. No directions, just going over and over again and it feels tiring."
Binalik ko ang tingin sa kanya and.. Wow. Hindi ko inaasahan ang ganong sagot.
And now, Prince Nicolas' gaze is now somewhere far, as if he's trying to remember a non-existent memory. His grip on me lightened ever more and he practically never moved from his position.
Marahan kong ikiniling ang ulo ko para masakop ko ang paningin niya. Muli rin naman niyang ibinalik sa akin ang tingin. I asked, "do you like what you're doing right now? Trying to make me choose you to be my partner?"
He faintly squeezes my hand while still staring at me. "I never know, Princess. But I do like you! You're very beautiful, you always manage to fascinate me with your existence alone. To be chosen as your partner would be the greatest honor I could probably achieve. It can strengthen the relationships of both our kingdoms."
He pauses for a moment, his brown eyes staring back at mine. "But you like someone, do you? I can feel it from you."
Hindi agad ako nakasagot. Una munang uminit ang mga pisngi at taenga ko. "I am not sure.. To be honest.. But I want to be with that person, yet the universe seems to be against it, you know?"
We almost never move in our position, despite the music getting livelier in every second. Prince Nicolas' grasp on me actually feels comfortable compared to the previous Princes, his presence in front of me feels nice. It isn't demanding at all. Yet it still feels so wrong, I still feel like I am holding the wrong piece of a puzzle.
"I believe that the universe has big plans for you, Princess." Prince Nicolas finally said and stretched his lips into a big smile. "Maybe it has a twist waiting for you."
I once again return my look at the Enchanting man and his partner. Hindi pa rin sila tumitigil, at hindi na muli akong tinignan ng lalaki. What twist could be waiting for me? With that man? I have no freaking clue.
Inalis ko nalang muna ang tingin ko sa kanila, pero nakita ko na sinundan din pala ni Prince Nicolas ang tingin ko. Nahiya naman ako. Damn, I am not that subtle at all, huh? Malamang gets na gets na niya agad ang ibig sabihin ko sa simpleng pagtingin ko sa direksyon nila.
"Follow your heart, Princess." Prince Nicolas starts when he returns his attention to me. "You just gotta have to believe sometimes."
I smile softly, and I am stunned for a millisecond. That is like the first genuine smile I have ever since I arrived at this place. "Wow, Prince Nicolas. You're such a nice guy. You'd be perfect for me, if ever."
His eyes shine. "Really? Thank you, Princess."
Then I once again return my gaze on the Enchanting man again. What the hell, I just can't stop myself from looking at him.
"But the universe seems to have different plans," Prince Nicolas said, squeezed my hand, then let me go.
Sinundan ko lang siya ng tingin. What, the dance was way too short. Yet he was smiling at me as he carefully took a step backward. His other arm is also stretching out as if he is giving me to somebody else.
Just as he is taking small steps backwards, I took a better look at his face, then realized that he is not looking at me. He is looking somewhere from behind me.
With furrowed eyebrows, I follow Prince Nicolas' gaze. I almost jumped in surprise.
The Enchanting man is standing just a few feet away from me. His hazel green eyes are staring back at me. At heto na naman, muli na namang tumigil ang mundo sa paligid ko habang tinignan ko lang din siya pabalik. The imaginary cord tugs the back of my mind, it seems to whisper again and again. There he is. He is there. Him.
Mukhang kakatapos lang din niya sa kasayaw niya kanina, dahil nasa tabi niya pa rin ang babae pero nasa bisig na ng ibang lalaki. That's why he is awkwardly standing there, suspended in the middle of a dancing crowd. Staring at me.
I blinked. Oh. I am also currently frozen in the midst of a shifting crowd. There are a thousand fluttering butterflies in my guts that make me catch my own breath. The music is still echoing around the hall, mixing in with the chattering of hundreds of people. Yet all I can hear is the loud pulsing of my heart.
I have to be with him.
I have to be close to him.
And he seems to be thinking the same way too.
He starts walking towards me. I grab the ends of my skirt then walks toward him, too. Hindi na ako tumingin kung saan. Hindi ko na piniling pakinggan ang mga bumabati sa akin. Wala na akong pakialam kung may isa 'pang pamilya o prinsipe ang ipapakilala sa akin.
Because tonight, nothing matters but him.
We both stop because oh my freaking God, finally, we are standing in front of each other. I can practically feel his body warmth in my own skin. His strong fragrance reached my nose that grounds me to the reality that finally, finally, I am close to someone who is the only one I can feel a strong familiarity with. From the short distance between us, my eyes find their way again to his alluring hazel green eyes, and I suppress myself from letting out an amazed gasp because oh my God, those eyes are more beautiful in a shorter distance. It seems to glisten more and it looks more vibrant. Long and delicate eyelashes frame his hooded shaped eyes, there are faint blemishes on his jaw and cheeks that are supposed to be called an imperfection but it somehow made him even more beautiful.
He is still staring at me with slightly widened eyes. As if he is as surprised as me that we are at long last close in front of each other. Close enough to touch. An overwhelming feeling clutched in my chest. Grabe, hindi ko na ata kakayanin ito. Ilang beses kong hiniling na sana mapalapit ako sa kanya, pero parang hindi ko ata kakayanin ang realidad.
The distance between us and his presence is so mind-boggling that I am close to retreating. But hell no, I will never. Because in this place where I am inside of an unknown person, in a world where everything feels so wrong, this man infront of me feels so right and so perfect.
Ngunit napapikit naman ako, dahil matindi na namang luminya ang sakit sa ulo ko. Isang senaryo na naman ang muling nagsimula sa utak ko.
There was a green apple in my hand. There's a dark thing hovering around my face.. A hood? Am I hiding from someone? I was also sitting on the ground, gripping hard at the green apple that the juices almost squeezed their way out. Anxiety.. There's anxiety bubbling inside me, there's something about being outside a place full of people worries me.
"There you are! Sorry for waiting." A voice suddenly exclaimed and a man entered my field of vision. He was wearing only black pants with a tucked white shirt, yet he still looked charming especially when he smiled at me. He handed me a small piece of bread that was still covered with a thin plastic. I took it.
"What is the princess doing outside the walls, anyways?" The man asked.
"I needed distraction." My voice sounded low and gravely, as if I am trying my very best to sound different and not to be noticed by anyone else.
"Distraction, you say. Hmm, well then. If you need it, andito lang ako!! Ako lang ang nag-iisang Allvais sa purok na ito. Tandaan mo pangalan ko, hah?" He said. Hazel green eyes twinkling in happiness.
Napadilat ako. "Oh my God." Napabulong ako nang wala sa sarili. Muli kong tinignan ang lalaki sa harapan ko. That is the face from the unknown memory. He is the man who gave me a piece of bread.
Allvais.
"I know you." I suddenly blurt out without thinking.
He smiles, first glances at the ground and nods. "Yeah, I know you too."
Wala muling nagsalita sa amin. Tanging ang musika lamang ang nag-iingay sa pagitan namin.
Then, before I could even take a breath to talk, he returned his look at me. He gently stretched out his arm at me and asked.
"May I have this dance?"
—
SONG:
Enchanted by Taylor Swift
Author's Note:
Hello! We're here at Chapter Five and we've seen alot from Princess Blaidrah' world. I would like to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who managed to read all of those up to here! I still have more in store for you, my dear reader, and I hope you'll stick with Jessa until the very end! Together, let's see their own happily ever after!
with love and magic,
Helen