'SORRY, YOUR SON ALMOST DIED LOL.'
No that's too casual. Deleting the message I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to email my sister. He's supposed to be home by now but he didn't want to go home. When I tried to take him he was so adamant that I had to be protected so he wanted to sleep over. It was sweet at first, but now I have to explain to his mom why he slept over. If I lie he'll most likely accidentally tell her then I'll end up in a grave of my own. If I tell the truth I still die so either way I lose in this scenario.
Running my fingers through my hair, it's still wet. I tried drying it but it wasn't cooperating so I tossed it into two Dutch braids so less of my shirt would end up drenched. I wasn't even dirty in the first place, I took a shower not even four hours ago but I just needed an excuse to go home. Even thinking about those embarrassing thirty minutes is shameful. Including the aftermath with my stupid bra, that man was unforgivably attractive but he had to show me how to clip my own bra. Of course he knew how to do it, one look at him explains it all. He looks like someone who's familiar with...unclipping bras? God what is wrong with me.
Squeezing my hair with a hand towel I decide it would be better if I just call my sister. Sending an email isn't going to cut it and at least this way I can sit in the floor and try and squeeze the water out of my hair as I explain to her what's going on.
It's not even exceptionally long, it rests right under my collarbones yet it still soaks up enough water to nourish a family of five. It's why I usually wear shower caps when I take a bath but today I just of just sat on the tile floor. I just wanted to get wet because I don't really know how to feel right now. Except for stress. That's not an unfamiliar emotion for me, if anything it's my default.
Nothing happened to me so I don't feel sorrow, if anything I feel guilty. I worried him. I worried Joseph. He's asleep on my bed because he thinks I'm going to get assaulted in my own home. What type of guardian makes a kid feel that way. As if they should have to protect you. Shit. Everything in my life is complete utter shit and I can't even wrap my head around it because there's just so much going on.
Sighing when my laptop goes straight to voicemail, I didn't expect otherwise. She's a busy woman who graduated top of all her course classes. What did she study you may ask? Medicine? Law? Both. The bitch graduated with a medical law degree. She's a medical lawyer. Now she works with people back to back in her own goddamn firm. It's pretty small at the moment with only a couple people there but the money she checks in is no fucking joke.
If our parents were still alive it's all I would hear. They'd remind me how embarrassing it was to have me as a child when they could've just had her. Maybe throw in an insult or two about how I was a mistake. Not that they've ever said it but I could feel it. The age gap between me and my siblings already made it clearer than day. I'm not supposed to be here. It's why they chucked me in a boarding school in the states for five years.
Flinching when I hear a knock on the door I rub the back of my neck. Well isn't this fantastic. Now I'm going to have to explain what happened to her face. Whenever I'm late she gives me three hours, if I don't respond in three hours then she gives me two more. That's when she switches from messages to phone calls. After that I should expect a STAR team to knock down my door, trying and find her son.
I'm not exactly sure how many messages she's sent me or how many times she's called since I don't own a phone at the moment. I don't own half my legal values because my ass left Joseph's bag on the floor of the alleyway. All I can do is cross my fingers and hope no one happens to come across it and decide to commit fraud with my ID. It's why I've resorted to sending emails which isn't a problem for my sister since she uses her email more than her actual number.
Patting down my shirt I walk up to the door before standing on my toes to see through the peep hole. When describing myself I wouldn't put the word short in the list. I'm medium heigh if that's an appropriate way to explain it. The door is just oddly tall and I've put in a request to get that checked out but it was ignored. If I have the wrong door I don't want to figure out when someone breaks in.
I didn't expect much to come of it though, since this building doesn't have the best customer service rating. It's affordable and conveniently close to where I work and also where I buy food and clothes so I'm set for life.
Squinting, I can't exactly tell what I'm looking at. There's absolutely nothing there. It seems as if its being purposely concealed.
No. No. No, thank you. Fuck that shit. Looking over to where I was sitting on the ground I consider calling the front desk with my laptop, I doubt they'll do anything about it but I'm not about to go for a round two of what happened in that alleyway. I don't need another round of tears and second hand embarrassment to come through.
'Hello?' I hear a somewhat familiar voice from behind the door so I pull my eye back to the hole. I can see now. It seems as if he had been trying to look through the peep hole from the outside.
Snorting I give away my anonymity. The doors don't mask alot of sound in this apartment building. 'Did you try and look through the hole from the outside?' I patronize him.
'Don't rub it in please,' he laughs under his breath. Allowing it to go quiet again. I know that voice. It's the man who helped me earlier in the ally.
Going to open the door I'm quick to pull back. Wait. How did he know my address? Taking a step back I can't help but feel a little uneasy. 'Can you open the door? If that's okay?' He asks politely.
'No.' I'm stern with my answer so he's aware that I'm not trying to fuck around. I have a kid with me in here and I'm not about to put him in danger, despite the contrary thoughts I occasionally get when I wonder how much a child's organs would cost. 'What do you want?'
'Sorry...I didn't mean to scare you,' I assumed I was showing a tougher exterior than that. Fear wasn't exactly what I was pimping for. 'You left this bag and it had your ID, wallet, and other things kids stuff I doubt you wouldn't want lying on the floor. It's how I found your address...the lady at the front told me which number you stayed in,'
Of course she did. They're so many woman who rent out these apartments for sex work that they'll just tell anyone who asks. The safety is below the floor it's insane.
Sliding the security lock through the door I twist the manual lock and open in. Thanks to the security the door can only open so far because of the chain. Getting a good look at him through the crack I look down both sides to see he's alone. Or at least he came to my room alone. I don't know if he has anyone waiting in a car or around the corner for all I know. Usually I wouldn't be this skeptical but I'm just worried for Joseph.
'Da xia?' He looks at a card in front of him. I don't respond for a couple seconds because it takes me a minute to realize he's trying to pronounce my name.
'Oh my god. No it's Da xia. Urm, Just call me Sydney.' I choke out a laugh. His pronunciation is going to keep my smile on my face for the next week. 'I assume you can only speak English?'
'Japanese and Taiwanese,' he shakes his head. 'I'm just bad with mandarin. A little contradicting isn't it? You'd think I'd be okay with it but no, I learned it in primary school but no one was getting the hang of it so they stopped it. Swapped us to French instead,'
'No one got it?' I raise my eyebrows. It's one of the most spoken languages here, I'm surprised they even had the language option in schools in the first place. It would be such an easy A for most people. 'Did you to go school here in Singapore?'
'No. I'm here for summer break with my family.' He shakes my head. 'We live in America,'
Of course he does. Swallowing my dignity when he throws me another smile this man is so beautiful. I noticed it before but I hadn't looked him in the eye to properly dissect him. Besides his face, he's incredibly tall. Very tall and broad, I wonder if he works out or plays a sport. If it's all genetic he definitely won the gene lottery. Looking at him makes me think about that gym membership that I canceled four months ago. Maybe I should've kept it. I would've looked less like a pencil if I had.
'Do you want to come in?' I hesitate to ask the question. My uncertainty makes him decline the offer almost immediately.
'No no don't worry. I just thought you'd want this,' he chucks the card back into the bag. 'Just be careful okay? Why were you down that alleyway?'
'Unfortunately I need to go down there to get to work,' I'm honest with him since he'd never find out where I worked with that alone. They're multiple turn offs and getting lost isn't something that isn't common over there. A lot of people drive down those roads when they're trying to chase someone off.
'Ah, okay,' he wedges the bag between the gap in the door. Smiling at his attempt he eventually gets it through, I'm just grateful he didn't ask to open the door. It makes me feel a little bad since I doubt his intentions are sinister. 'Have a good night Sydney,'
Waving him off I shut the door before immediately locking it. Taking a shaky breath I'm just glad to have my phone back. When I remembered that I had left it behind I honestly just prayed it would be there by morning. Buying another one isn't in my budget and I would rather die than ask my sister for money again. She'd give it to me without a second thought but I don't want to become dependent like that or make her think I need the help. I feel like it's just more salt added to the wound.
I don't see her as competition but being compared to someone your whole life then suddenly the comparing stops doesn't help. There's always a voice in the back of my head reminding me about how useless I am and it's suffocating. Especially since I don't hate my sister. I want us to get close but I doubt that'll ever happen. At least not in this life.
Dumping the contents of the bag on the ground I put everything back to make sure nothing is missing. Zipping it up when I've counted and checked, none of mine or Joseph's things are gone. At least now I know the guy just isn't a polite thief. Getting up off the ground I squat back down when I see a peice of paper that wasn't there when I packed the bag in the first place. I don't record anything down on paper, I do everything digitally so I don't lose important notes. Godbless technology.
Picking it up I read it over and over but there's nothing special. It's just a set of numbers. Flipping over I pause when I see they're actual literate words on here.
'If you ever need help again, just call :) - Benjamin'