They get to Oktoberfest, looking around.
"We still got to see the new Raiders movie." Dean says.
"Saw it." Sam says.
"Without me?" Dean asks.
"You were in Hell." Sam reasons.
"That's no excuse." Dean says, looking around. "Big pretzel!" He walks over to the vendor, ordering some big pretzels. "Thank you." Dean takes the pretzels from the person in charge of the cart. He turns to the twins and hands one pretzel to Natalie and two to Sam. Ophelia hands Larissa and Jacob pretzels, keeping one for herself.
"Thank you." Sam says.
"Guten tag." A woman greets.
""Guten tag" yourself." Dean says with his mouth full as he watches her walk away. Natalie flicks him on the head making him swat at her hand.
Sam gives Libby one of the pretzels.
"I don't want it." Libby frowns.
"Baby, all you've had today is, like, four grapes. And that was hours ago." Sam says, crouching next to her. "Just try, okay?"
"Okay." Libby mumbles. Sam kisses her on the cheek before standing up.
"Wow. Been about a week and you haven't made a single dick move." Natalie comments. "Congrats, Sammy."
"Thanks." Sam mutters, lightly rolling her eyes. "Mmm. Looks like that's our man." He says, looking over at the sheriff and they walk over to him.
"Sheriff Dietrich." Sam calls.
"Are you boys from the fed?" Dietrich asks.
"Agents Angus, Young, Malcom, Scott, and Johnson." Sam informs, the five adults showing their badges. "We called ahead about your, uh, problem."
"Right. Um... I'll tell you what, why don't we talk this out away from the crowd, huh?" Dietrich suggests.
+++
They're in the morgue -- without Libby and Ophelia -- and Dietrich draws the sheet back off the woman's head and shoulders.
"Marissa Wright, 26. Just up from Lockhard for the 'fest. Terrible. Just terrible. It's the last thing this town needs at peak tourist season." Dietrich says.
"Definitely the last thing Marissa Wright needed." Sam says. Dean turns Marissa's head and finds two puncture marks on her neck.
"What the hell?" Dean mutters.
"Yeah, you got me. I mean, this killer's some kind of a grade A whacko, right? I mean, some Satan worshipping, Anne Rice reading, gothic, psycho vampire wannabe." Dietrich says.
"Sheriff, in your report you mentioned a witness." Dean says.
"Yeah, I wished I didn't. But our witness insisted. That's Ed Brewer. Not exactly what you'd call reliable." Dietrich says.
+++
The group get to the bar and walk up to the counter.
"I remember you." The woman from earlier says.
"And I remember you..." Dean looks at her name tag. "Jamie. I never forget a pretty... everything." Natalie and Larissa both roll their eyes.
"We're looking for Ed Brewer." Sam says.
"What do you want with Ed?" Jamie asks.
"Well, we are, uh... federal agents." Dean says, the three flashing their badges. "Mr. Brewer was witness to a serious crime. We just need to--"
"Wait a minute. You're a fed? Wow, you don't come on like a fed. Seriously?" Jamie asks.
"I'm a maverick, ma'am. A rebel with a badge. One thing I don't play: the rules." Dean says, winking at her.
"Oh, please." Natalie rolls her eyes.
"He's also a dad." Ophelia states, a shit eating grin on her face as she hugs Dean's arm.
"Okay, maverick. Um, so where can we find Mr. Brewer?" Sam asks.
~ ~ ~
They're sitting across from Ed who has a beer stein that he uncaps and drinks from. Ophelia is on her dad's lap and Libby is on Larissa's lap.
"I told the cops everything I saw. No one believes me. Why should you be any different?" Ed asks.
"Believe me, Mr. Brewer, we're different." Dean says.
"Very, very different." Jacob nods.
"I spoke the God's honest truth. And now I'm the town joke." Ed says.
"Marissa Wright's murder is no joke to us. And we want to hear everything, no matter how strange it may seem." Sam states.
"We have a lot of experience with strange." Dean says.
"It was just after midnight. I just left here, and like I do every night, I cut through the park on the way home. At first, I thought it was a couple kissing. But she was... struggling too much. And this man, he was... well, he was biting her neck."
"Can you describe her assailant?" Sam asks.
"Oh, he was a vampire." Ed states.
"Okay, right. And by that, you mean--"
"You know, a vampire." Ed says, cutting Dean off.
"Uh-huh." Dean mutters.
"Yeah." Ed nods.
"So, he looked like--"
"He looked like a vampire. You know, with the fangs and the slicked back hair and the fancy cape and the little medallion thingy on the ribbon."
"You mean like Dracula?"
"Exactly, like Dracula. Right down to the accent."
"The accent?" Sam questions.
"Yep." Ed nods.
"What did he say?" Sam asks.
"You know, something like..." Ed raises his arm over his face, pretending to have a cape on. "Stay away, mortal! The night is mine!" He says with a Dracula accent. "You do believe me, don't you?"
~ ~ ~
The group walk up to Dean who is at the bar.
"So, what do you think? Goth, psycho, vampire wannabe, right?" Dean asks.
"Definitely not our kind of case." Sam says.
"Agreed. But who cares?" Dean says, they walk to a table. "Room's paid for, and it's Oktoberfest. Come on, brother. Beer and bar wenches."
Dean, Ophelia, and Larissa sit on one side of the booth and the twins, Libby, and Jacob sit across from him.
"Pretty sure women today don't react well to the whole "wench" thing, Dean." Sam says.
"Yeah, no, I would punch you." Natalie says.
"You would definitely get your dick shot off." Larissa states.
"Hey, bar wench, where's that beer?" Dean calls to Jamie.
"Coming right up, good sir!" Jamie calls back.
"Dude, Oktoberfest." Dean grins and Natalie lightly shakes her head, rolling her eyes.
"You men disgust me." Larissa grumbles.
Jamie walks up, putting a beer in front of Dean.
"There you go. What can I get you guys?" She asks the others.
"Oh, they don't drink. They're Christian scientists. Don't even take aspirin. They're a real drag on stakeouts." Dean says making Jamie laugh.
"You're funny." She says.
"That's one word to use." Larissa mumbles.
"I'm a lot more than that. I'd love to get a chance to show you the rest. What time you get off?" Dean asks.
"Ha ha. Like I said, funny." Jamie says, walking away.
"Ha." Larissa laughs in Dean's face and he flicks her in the head. "Hey." She swats him over the head making Libby and Ophelia both laugh.
"I love her." Natalie states. "Sam, you don't date her, I might dump Jacob and take her for myself."
"Hey." Jacob pouts.
"I'm joking. I'm joking. I love you." Natalie assures, patting his arm. She freezes when she realizes what she just said.
"Did... did you just--" Jacob starts to stumble over his words.
"No. No, I-I said nothing." Natalie awkwardly smiles, diverting her gaze down.
"Well, her and I have already kissed." Larissa comments, Natalie nodding.
"What?" The brothers question, glancing between the two women.
"When the hell was this?" Dean asks.
"That's none of your business." Natalie comments, smirking in amusement at her brothers' reactions. Larissa quietly snickers.
"All right, all right. Whatever. Man, it is time to right some wrongs." Dean says.
"Come again?" Sam asks.
"Look at me. I mean, I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? No bullet wounds, knife cuts, none of the off angled fingers from all the breaks. I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom. Which leads me to conclude, sadly... that my virginity is intact."
"What?" The twins both question with a small laugh.
"I have been re-hymenated."
"Re--" Sam laughs. "Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of Hell, but no one could do that." Sam says.
"Brother, I have been re-hymenated. And the dude will not abide." Dean says.
"Dean, just because we died, doesn't mean either of us are re-hymenated. I mean, you literally have a child." Natalie says.
"Yes, it does. And you are required to stay that way until you're 70." Dean tells her and she rolls her eyes.
"So what are you gonna do when I tell you I lost it the first night we were back?" Natalie asks. Dean's expression hardens and he glances between Natalie and Jacob. Natalie smirks while Jacob tries to shrink into the seat.
"I'm gonna murder you." Dean threatens Jacob, pointing a finger at him.
"Hey, if you don't kill me, I won't kill you if Jo ever lets you sleep with her." Jacob offers.
"Which is such a slim chance already." Natalie mumbles.
"All right, dude. Well, you go do whatever you got to do, and we're gonna go back to the room and get some sleep." Sam says, getting out of the booth and holding Libby's hand.
"Yeah, no, I don't need to witness any of your pathetic attempts of flirting." Larissa comments. "Come on, Ophi. You don't need to be subjected to it either."
"Bye, daddy." Ophelia kisses Dean on the cheek before getting out of the booth, Larissa grabbing her hand and leading her out.
"You two better be sleeping in separate rooms." Dean orders as the couple get up.
"We'll just let you think that." Natalie says.
+++
Jacob and Natalie are lying in bed and Larissa is asleep in the other bed.
"So, uh... about earlier." Jacob starts.
"I-- I'm sorry. I don't... it wasn't intentional. If it makes you uncomfortable, I--"
"No." Jacob cuts her off. "No. No, that didn't make me uncomfortable. That could never make me uncomfortable."
"Really?" Natalie asks.
"Really." Jacob nods. "I, um... I love you, too." He says, Natalie barely able to make out his nervous smile in the dark. "Unless-- unless that makes you uncomfortable."
"That could never make me uncomfortable." She quotes him while grinning.
"Good." Jacob smiles. "Cause I love you."
"I love you, too." Natalie smiles. She leans closer, kissing him.
+++
"I don't want anymore nuggies, daddy." Libby says, pushing the box away from her. Sam glances at the carton full of six and a half nuggets left out of the ten nuggets he bought. Though her chocolate milk is mostly gone.
"That's okay, baby. You did your best, hm?" Sam says and Libby nods.
"I'm tired." She tells him, looking up at him.
"Okay. Come on, let's get you in your PJs." Sam says, putting her on the floor. Sam helps her into her pajamas before she climbs into bed and he tucks her in.
Sam looks over at the other bed, Ophelia fast asleep, the coloring book open next to her. He takes the book and bag of crayons, putting them on the table. He covers his niece up with a blanket before lying in bed next to his daughter.
"You okay?" Sam asks.
"Mm-hmm." Libby nods. She cuddles Eeyore closer to her chest, watching the movie on the TV. Sam looks over at her, a small frown on his face. The bags under her eyes aren't as dark as they were a week ago, but they're still very noticeable. She's slowly gaining more weight, her ribs, collarbone, and cheekbones a tiny less prominent now.
Sam tears his gaze away from her and watches the movie, trying to ignore the guilt gnawing away at him. A few minutes later, he looks back over at Libby and sees her asleep. He leans over and kisses her on the head.
"I'm still sorry, baby." He whispers, brushing some of her hair out of her face.
+++
The next day, they're sitting across from Anna-Marie at a table outside as she loudly slurps from a large cup.
"Can I, like... I don't know, kill her myself?" Larissa quietly asks.
"No." Sam whispers, giving her an incredulous look.
"Well, then tell her to stop being annoying." Larissa hisses.
"And then it just-- it just tore Rick into little pieces." Anna-Marie says.
"Ma'am, we understand how hard this is, but can you describe the creature?" Dean asks.
"Oh. It was a werewolf." Anna-Marie says.
"A werewolf?" Sam asks and she nods. "You're sure?"
"Oh, yeah. With the furry face and the black nose and the claws and... and the-the torn up pants and shirt. Like from the old movies."
"Um..."
"Well, okay, so... thank you for your time." Dean says.
+++
"First a Dracula and now a full on movie time Wolf Man?" Dean asks as the five adults are in the morgue. "What the hell is going on in this town?"
Sam opens a door and pulls a body out. He unzips the body bag, the five recoiling at the smell.
"Damn!" Dean grimaces.
"Ugh. God." Natalie covers her nose.
"God, what died in there?" Larissa grimaces.
"A human." Jacob retorts.
"Shut up." Larissa rolls her eyes.
"All right. Whatever did this wasn't a psycho wannabe." Sam says, using a pencil to pull out some shredded flesh from the corpse. Larissa groans in disgust.
"Look at those bite marks. Right down to the bone... and deeper." Sam says.
"Strong enough to tear a healthy man apart limb from limb. Could be a werewolf." Dean says.
"Yeah, except, look. The heart's still there in one piece. They never leave the heart behind." Sam says.
"Thus I reiterate -- what the hell is going on?"
"Well, I was hoping you guys could tell me." The sheriff walks in. "I just got a rush job back from the lab on those fibers we found on the body." He pulls out a plastic bag from an envelope. "Canine. Wolf hairs."
"I'm getting a headache." Dean says.
+++
The seven are sitting at a table in the bar and eating.
"I don't know, guys. Looks like we've stumbled onto a midnight showing of Dracula meets Wolf Man. Is that it?" Dean asks.
"I don't know. I mean, Wolf Man seems real enough. Makes Dracula seem a little less impossible, I guess." Sam says.
"Yeah, but werewolves don't grow wolf hair. That's just a myth." Dean says.
"Yeah." Sam agrees.
"So, what? We've got a vampire and a werewolf monster mashing this town?" Dean asks. Jamie walks over, bringing them more drinks.
"Looks like you guys are staying a while. I heard about Rick Deacon." Jamie says.
"Yeah, this case just got weird enough for our department." Dean says.
"Well, beers, and sodas, on me. And, just so you know, I get off at midnight tonight." Jamie tells Dean.
"Oh, it's not another, uh, girls' night out?" Dean asks.
"Doesn't have to be." Jamie says.
"Okay, then. I'll see you tonight." Dean says.
"Okay, then." Jamie says, leaving.
"Hey, you think this Dracula could turn into a bat? That would be cool." Dean comments.
+++
"The sarcophagus isn't ancient." Sam says. "It's from a prop house in Philly."
"Well... it goes well with the bucket of dry ice he was keeping in it." Dean says, holding up a small bucket of dry ice from inside the sarcophagus.
"Is he making his own special effects?" Sam asks.
"Yeah, a mummy with a good sense of showmanship." Dean says.
"This is stupid." Sam says.
"Oh, damn it. Jamie." Dean checks his watch. "I'm late. You guys are good here with the mummy and the... crazy?"
"Yeah." Sam nods.
"Yeah." Dean rushes out.
+++
Sam, Natalie, Larissa, and Jacob walk into the bar where Dean and Jamie are, Jamie having gotten attacked by Dracula earlier, but Dean saved her before anything happened.
"Hey. You guys all right?" Sam asks.
"Yeah, I think so. And I think I know what's going on." Dean says, putting a folded towel on the table.
"Yeah?" Sam asks.
"Part of it, at least." Dean says. Sam opens the towel to reveal an ear.
"Ew." Jacob grimaces.
"Uh, the ear part?" Sam asks.
"Ripped it off of Dracula's head. Touch it." Dean says. Sam looks at Natalie.
"I ain't fucking touching it." Natalie tells him. Sam glances between the other two. Jacob steps behind Natalie, using her as a shield.
"Don't look at me, man." Larissa scoffs. Sam sighs and he touches the ear.
"Ugh." He grimaces.
"Feel familiar to you?" Dean asks.
"Oh, man." Sam groans.
"Skin of a shapeshifter. Just like St. Louis and just like Milwaukee. Of course this one's all holding buckets of crazy. Oh, and, uh..." Dean takes a medallion out of his pocket, giving it to Sam. "This, I uh, pulled it off during the fight. Look at the label on the ribbon."
"It's a costume rental." Sam says.
"All three monsters -- the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the mummy -- all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he Creature From the Black Lagoons somebody." Dean says.
"So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, and The X-Files are real?" Jamie asks.
"No, The X-Files is a TV show. This is real." Dean states.
"Oh." Jamie mumbles.
"Okay, so, the stagecraft, the costuming... it's like he's trying to re-enact his favorite monster movie moments, right down to the bloody murders." Sam says.
"Wait a second. Who the hell is Mina?" Jamie asks.
"Mina?" Sam asks.
"Yeah. That's what he called Jamie. And he called me Mr. Harker." Dean says.
"Jonathan Harker? They're characters from the movies and the novels. Mina, Dracula's intended bride, Harker the fiancé that stands in the way. Seems like he's fixating on you, like he sees you as his bride."
"Wow. Lucky me." Jamie says sarcastically.
"But to fixate on you, my guess is that the shifter has to have seen you before or been around you." Sam says.
"Jamie, has anybody strange come to town, somebody that has taken a specific notice of you?" Dean asks.
"I don't know, Dean. It's Oktoberfest. I'm a bartender. There's lots of people. I... wait a second. There is Ed." Jamie states.
"Ed Brewer, Ed?" Sam asks.
"Yeah. He moved here about a month ago. Lucy swears he has a crush on me. He comes in almost every night. But, you know, I don't think he's the type of guy--"
"Where does Ed live?" Dean asks.
"I don't know. But he works at the old movie theater. I think he's the projectionist there." Jamie says.
"Take care of Mina?" Sam asks his brother.
"Yep." Dean nods and Sam and Natalie leave.
+++
The four get to the movie theater and go in, holding their guns as they creep through. They move closer to the shadow of a man playing an organ.
They sneak up behind Ed who jumps.
"Whoa!" Ed yells. Sam pushes him against the organ, holding the gun to him. "You, FBI man-- what did I--"
"Shut up, okay? You know what you did." Sam says.
"What?" Ed asks.
"We know what you are." Sam says.
"I'm not anything. I just like to play the Casio." Ed says.
"Had time to grow the ear back, huh?" Sam asks.
"What?!" Ed asks. Sam pulls on Ed's ear making him scream in pain.
"It's supposed to come off." Sam says, glancing back at the others.
"No, it's not!" Ed exclaims.
"You know, you guys are wrong a lot." Jacob comments.
"Shut up." The twins tell him.
"Touchy." Larissa mumbles.
+++
They get back to the bar and Sam takes his phone out, calling Dean, though he doesn't answer.
"Dean, hey, listen. Uh, Ed is not our guy. Um, I'm guessing you're at home with Jamie, so just give us a call, okay?" Sam says, hanging up.
"Sammy." Natalie calls.
"Yeah?" He walks over, following her gaze to the floor, finding a broken bottle and a napkin with a lipstick stain on it.
"Lucy." Sam says.
+++
They get to the house and Sam picks the lock, the four quietly walking in with their guns at the ready. They get to the dungeon and go in, finding Dean strapped to an upright table and wearing lederhosen.
"Oh, thank God. Just in the nick of time. That guy was about to Frankenstein." Dean says. While Sam gets Dean free, Natalie and Larissa break out laughing at what Dean's wearing.
"Oh, man, I gotta get a picture of this." Larissa giggles, taking her phone out.
"No. No, Larissa, I swear to God--" Dean protests, cut off as the camera clicks. "I am going to kill you."
"Yeah, okay." She scoffs, laughing some more.
"Hey there, Hansel." Sam teases.
"Shut up. All of you shut up." Dean tells them.
"Don't worry, Dean. You look adorable." Jacob teases.
"I will shoot you." Dean threatens. He gestures to Sam to kick down the door. Sam kicks it, his foot creating a hole, and the whole door falls off its hinges.
"Let's go." Sam says.
They go into the bedroom and see Jamie lying on the bed. Dracula grabs Sam from behind and throws him through the wall.
"You will never be Van Helsing!" Dracula yells. Natalie goes to shoot him, but Dracula throws her through the wall and Natalie falls unconscious. Jacob attacks him, Dracula overpowering him and throwing him against the wall. He knocks Larissa down before going back to Dean.
"And you, Harker, now you die." Dracula states.
"How 'bout now you shut the hell up?" Dean retorts. Dracula throws him onto the ground and goes to kill him. Before he can do anything, he's shot in the chest.
"Silver?" Dracula questions. He turns around, finding Jamie standing there with a gun. "It was beauty that killed the beast. No, Mina, do not weep." He falls onto a chair. "Perhaps this is how the movie should end." He says before dying.
+++
They're waiting for Dean and Jamie to get done making out. Natalie has her hand over Ophelia's eyes and Sam is hiding Libby's face in his leg.
"Just shoot me. Please. It's a simple favor." Natalie begs her twin.
"I'm not shooting you." Sam says.
"Then let me shoot myself. Or-or at least just... just knock me out. Seriously, one of you shoot me." Natalie says and Sam laughs.
"How 'bout this?" Jacob suggests before putting his hand over her eyes.
"But I still feel so disgusting." She groans and Jacob chuckles.
Dean glances back at them and Sam tensely smiles.
"Bye." Dean tells Jamie.
"Bye." She says and the group start to leave.
"You guys saved my life, you know? So, thanks." Jamie says before walking off.
"I like her." Sam says.
"I would like her a lot more if I didn't just see her swallowing Dean's tongue down her throat." Natalie comments.
"Feels good to be back on the job, doesn't it?" Dean asks.
"Yeah, it does." Sam says.
"The hero gets the girl, monster gets the gank. All in all, happy ending. With a happy ending, no less." Dean says.
"Real classy, Dean." Sam says.
"Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter man had a point, you know? It would be nice if life was movie simple. Although, if I was turning life into a movie, I wouldn't do this Abbott and Costello meet the monster crap." Dean says.
"Yeah, no. I know what you'd pick." Sam says.
"No, you don't." Dean argues.
"Yeah, I do." Sam counters.
"We both do." Natalie says.
"No, you don't. You don't!" Dean objects.
"Porky's II." The twins state.
"What?" Dean asks.
"You heard us." Sam says.
"Lucky guess." Dean grumbles.