Camila picked at her nails anxiously, sitting against the wall in rehearsals and watching the other girls crowd around the water fountain. She bit her lip as they all began to walk over.
"Oh my god," Normani's eyes widened. Camila whipped her head around when she saw the figure standing in the doorway. Shit.
"What happened to you?" Ally tilted her head to the side and walked over to Lauren. The girl's face was bruised. Camila subtly glanced down at her own knuckles, which were the same shade of dark purple as Lauren's skin.
Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, avoiding her bandmate's eyes and walking over to the corner to kick off her shoes.
"I don't know," she rolled her eyes. "Why don't you ask Camila?"
All eyes were immediately directed to the small girl sitting on the floor. Camila held her breath and looked up slowly.
"That's what happened last night?" Normani raised her eyebrows. Camila bit her lip nervously and slowly stood up.
"She told me to," Camila mumbled, grabbing her bag and slipping past her bandmates before they could stop her. She jogged down the hallway, not caring that she was supposed to be present during rehearsals. She couldn't handle being in the same room as Lauren.
Minutes later, she found herself through a maze of hallways, pushing open a large metal door and coming face to face with the roof of the building.
She walked slowly to the side, feeling the gentle breeze whipping through her hair. The tips of her shoes lined up with the edge of the roof, and she looked down slowly. The same dizzy sensation washed over her as she looked down at the streets below.
Cars whizzed past underneath her, completely unaware of the girl above them. Taking a deep breath, Camila sat down and let her feet dangle off the ledge.
Anyone else would be utterly terrified sitting on the edge of a ten story building. Camila didn't understand why she wasn't. She had nothing to be afraid of. If she fell, it didn't matter to her.
Meanwhile, Lauren tossed her backpack onto the ground and sighed. Ally, Dinah, and Normani all exchanged glances, growing increasingly concerned for their two other bandmates. Whatever was going on between them was slowly driving a wedge between the group.
"You told her to?" Ally spoke first, eyeing Lauren cautiously. The dark haired girl nodded, not saying anything.
"Why?" Dinah stepped forward and grabbed Lauren's arm to keep her from avoiding the question. Their eyes met and the Polynesian girl studied the discoloration on Lauren's face.
"She needs to realize," Lauren pulled away from Dinah and walked over to the mirrors, fixing her hair absentmindedly. "Taking all her anger out on other people isn't gonna do shit for her."
"But letting her punch you isn't gonna help you out, either," Normani joked, trying to lighten the mood. Lauren didn't take it as a joke. She whipped her head around, raising an eyebrow.
"Well it's too late now, isn't it?" Lauren snapped, storming out of the room without another word.
"I didn't—," Normani started, but Dinah held up a finger to hush her. The three girls grew quiet.
"Hey, are you busy?"
They all raised their eyebrows, tiptoeing over to the door and pressing their ears to the wall. Lauren sat on the other side, holding her phone against her ear.
"No, I just..." she paused for a moment. "I need a place to stay."
Dinah, Normani, and Ally all let their jaws drop to the floor. The immediately knew who she was talking too.
"Just band drama," Lauren laughed nervously, running a hand through her hair and sighing. "Really? God, I owe you. Thank you."
Before the other girls could react, the door on the opposite side of the room opened and their choreographer reappeared. Camila walked in shyly behind him, looking guilty.
"Found this one on the roof," he laughed, motioning to Camila. The small girl didn't respond, she only walked over and leaned against the wall.
"Now that we have everyone, we can get started," he clapped his hands together. But soon, Lauren's absence was apparent. Even Camila looked up from her phone and scanned the room in confusion.
Before anyone could explain, a buzzing noise echoed throughout the room. Camila glanced at her phone, realizing it wasn't hers. Dinah, Normani, and Ally all glanced at one another before pulling their phones out of their pockets.
[3:21 – Lauren] I need a break. Count me out of rehearsal today.
Camila swallowed hard when she slowly realized what was going on. Ally walked over and quietly showed her phone to the choreographer, who nodded in understanding.
"We have time," he sighed, clapping his hands together. "We'll regroup tomorrow, okay? Get some rest." He glanced specifically at Camila. It didn't go unnoticed.
The minute he left the room, Camila practically sprinted for the door. Dinah was faster, though, and she threw herself between Camila and the door before the smaller girl could escape. A look of terror flashed in Camila's eyes.
"What happened?" Dinah said firmly, demanding an answer. She was tired of being left out of the loop.
"I-I..." Camila turned away, beginning to pace back and forth. "Where did she go?" she blurted out, avoiding Dinah's question and looking up.
"To Zayn's," Normani answered honestly, before anyone could lie to Camila. Avoiding it wasn't worth the effort.
"Of course," Camila sighed and shook her head.
"So what happened?" Dinah reiterated her question. Biting her lip, Camila fumbled with the hem of her shirt and sat down against the wall.
"I don't know," Camila laughed bitterly. "She told me to. I'm not lying," she looked up, pleading for them to believe her. "And I guess I just... did."
The smaller girl looked down at her bruised knuckles. They still throbbed, but she knew Lauren was probably feeling the worst of it. Normani sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulder.
"This is all so fucking stupid," Camila mumbled, wiping her eyes and looking up at the other two bandmates. Dinah gave in on being mad, and sat down in front of Camila, squeezing her hand.
"I think you just need to stay away from each other for now," Ally finally spoke up, sitting down next to Dinah. She gave Camila a sad smile. "The more you're around each other, the harder it's going to be."
Camila's heart dropped in her chest at the thought. She wanted to be near Lauren. She longed to be close to her. But of course, Camila always messed things up between them. She didn't deserve someone as beautiful as Lauren.
"I know," Camila whispered, looking down at her hands in her lap. She felt defeated. As if she'd finally pushed both of them over the edge.
"Things will calm down soon," Normani tried to reassure her. Camila just nodded, blinking away tears in her eyes. If only she knew how wrong she had been.
—
Seven whole days passed. Seven whole days of being civil in public with Lauren, and avoiding her in private. The three other bandmates made sure to keep them apart, not wanting to have a repeat of the night they found Camila sobbing on the floor.
Lauren didn't understand Camila's sudden aversion to her. It concerned her, but every time she would try and say a word to the smaller girl, Camila would practically run and hide behind Dinah.
So slowly, Lauren became more and more hurt. She had only been trying to help Camila. Sure, she'd been bitter before, but her intentions had been good. But now, the more Camila avoided her, the angrier she became.
Not just angry with Camila, but angry with herself. Angry that she hadn't been enough for the other girl. Angry that she hadn't been able to help Camila in the ways she needed help. Angry that she couldn't seem to fix things between them.
She'd been staying with Zayn at his apartment each night. She couldn't handle being close to Camila while the smaller girl was asleep. Seeing her so innocent and vulnerable just made Lauren fall deeper and deeper in love with her. And she didn't want that happening. She would only be setting herself up for even more heartbreak.
Currently, she was sitting in Zayn's apartment, staring blankly at the wall. He was on the couch next to her, babbling on about something that Lauren didn't particularly care about. Her thoughts were completely on Camila, wondering if she'd gotten enough to eat that day.
"Lauren."
"Wha...?" she raised her eyebrows, being brought out of her thoughts when she heard her name.
"There's someone else, isn't there?" Zayn moved his arm from around Lauren and looked at her questioningly. The green eyed girl was taken aback.
"What?" she sat up straighter and turned to face him.
"You didn't even hear a word I just said."
"Yes I did," Lauren lied, feeling somewhat guilty. She couldn't control her thoughts when it came to Camila. If the girl crossed her mind, she wasn't able to concentrate on anything else.
"Then what was I talking about?" he raised an eyebrow at her. Lauren opened her mouth, trying to recall anything he had said. She came up blank, biting her lip and looking down.
"Exactly," he sighed, shaking his head and standing up.
Lauren quickly hopped to her feet, grabbing her bag. "I-I should go," she whispered, moving towards the door. "I'll text you later."
Zayn didn't stop her.
The drive back to the tour bus only served to infuriate Lauren further. Why was Camila the only thing occupying her thoughts? She didn't deserve this. She just needed to forget the smaller girl.
Clenching her fists, Lauren arrived back at the bus. When she padded quietly through the door, she realized everyone was already asleep. She hadn't been aware of how late it was.
Making an effort to be quiet, she changed into a t-shirt and boxer shorts, tiptoeing back to her bunk. When she opened the curtain, she nearly screamed.
Camila lay in her bunk, curled up in a ball with her face buried in one of Lauren's hoodies. Lauren's first reaction was to reach down and wrap the sleeping girl in her arms, but her anger quickly took over.
"Camila."
The girl didn't respond. Groaning, Lauren grabbed Camila's shoulder and rolled her onto her back. "Camila, wake up."
"Wha....?" The smaller girl blinked her eyes open, looking around groggily. When her eyes met Lauren's, she instantly realized where she was. She froze.
"Get out," Lauren huffed between gritted teeth. Panicking, Camila felt tears well up in her eyes.
"I-I..." Camila shook her head and quickly tossed Lauren's hoodie aside. "I can explain..."
"I don't care," Lauren tore the bunk curtain completely open and then motioned to Camila's bunk. "Get out."
"But..." Camila sat up slightly, propping herself up on her elbow. "I c-can't sleep by myself."
"You just were," Lauren rolled her eyes, ignoring the pang in her heart when she saw the tears in Camila's eyes.
"I..." Camila stopped herself, glancing back at Lauren's hoodie. It helped her sleep. It had been the closest thing she had to the older girl. "Sorry," she whispered, crawling out of the bunk and curling up in her own before Lauren could react.
Lauren fought the urge to apologize to Camila. She couldn't. She'd only allow herself to fall even harder. Rolling into her bunk, she felt the warmth in her sheets where Camila had been and felt tears prick in her own eyes.
When she turned over, she felt her hoodie underneath her. A sudden burst of courage pushed her to ball up the piece of clothing, reaching over and pushing it into Camila's bunk. She heard the smaller girl jump at the intrusion.
Seconds later, she heard Camila muffle a sob. Lauren's heart dropped when the hoodie fell from behind Camila's curtain and onto the floor between them. The smaller girl made no effort to pick it up.
Lauren bit her lip to stop herself from saying anything. She heard Camila sigh heavily and roll over.
This was going to be a long night.
a/n: sorry this update took so long! also sorry that it's so painful, lol. ily all, and have a great day bbies.
- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, txrches on tumblr)