"Pa, you have nothing to worry about. Tinulungan na po ako ni Chino sa lahat. All my things are unpacked, my books are in the shelves, and my fridge is full of nutritious stuff. Sobrang okay ang apartment. Besides, Chino is just next door. Wala talagang problema," paniniguro ko kay papa habang nakahilata sa sofa at hawak ang cell phone malapit sa tainga ko.
"Puwede ko bang makausap si Chino?" wika ni Papa mula sa kabilang linya, bakas pa rin ang pag-aalala sa boses.
"Si Chino?" Idinaan ko sa tawa ang naramdamang kaba. "Pumunta po muna siya sa university, may kinuhang mga documents."
"Ha? E, ba't di ka sumabay? Hindi ka pa na-e-enroll 'di ba? Gusto mo bang pumunta ako diyan bukas? Puwede akong umabsent." The worry in my father's voice made my heart melt. Sa ganitong mga pagkakataon, lalo akong mas nagiging determinadong tumayo nang mag-isa.
"Hindi na, Pa. Sabay na po kami ni Chino." I smiled, trying to ignore the tears forming up my eyes. "Pa, una na po pala ako. Magluluto na ako ng dinner."
"Sige, anak. Ingat ka diyan. Mag-lock palagi ng pinto at huwag kakalimutan ang niluluto. Tatawag ulit ako mamaya."
As soon as the call ended, my hand dropped to my lap. I stared at the pile of unopened bags and boxes all over the living room—or if you could even call it a living room.
I felt tears stream down my face. I quickly wiped them off and took deep breaths, trying to convince myself that I made the right decision and that everything will be alright . . . after all, this isn't for me, but for the happiness of the people I love the most—my parents.
I heard my phone beep and when I held it up, I saw a message flash from Chino:
Nasa bahay na ako. Everything alrighty-right over there?
I rolled my eyes and just sent a crying emoji, along with three skulls. Ang lintik, nag-reply lang ng laughing emoji.
I threw my phone on the sofa and stood up. I began stretching while wiping up my tears. I promised myself that I will no longer be a crybaby, but it's hard to keep my promise when my heart feels like it's been ripped into shreds.
"It'sm okay . . . . magiging okay ako." I sniffed the clogging off my nose and took more deep breaths. "This will bend me, but this will never break me. Iiyak at magrereklamo, pero hindi susuko."
Whenever life gets me down, I cheer myself up by eating something good and watching a good movie kaya naman dumiretso ako sa ref. Bago ko pa man ito mabuksan, nanlumo ako nang maalalang wala nga pala itong laman. Ni hindi nga ito nakasaksak sa outlet.
"Sana nang sinabing fully furnished apartment, fully-stocked din ang ref." I laughed with misery.
Nilibot kong muli ang tingin sa mga bagahe ko at bumuntonghininga na lamang. I reached for my little cross-body purse, gathering my phone, wallet, and apartment keys.
I was about to head out the door when I realized that it was getting dark outside and I was wearing a dress. As much as I hated to conform with the shittiness of the world, I had no choice but to change into jeans and a shirt.
After putting on my denim jacket and pepper spray, I reached for the door. However, when I opened it, I was surprised to find a brown paper bag on the floor. Mayroong nakasulat sa harapan nito. From 404.
Hindi ko napigilang sumimangot. 404? Like the error chuchu?
Binuksan ko ang paper bag at nakita ang mga pagkain at inumin sa loob. Awtomatiko akong naglakad patungo sa basurahan at walang paligoy-ligoy itong itinapon.
There's no way I'm accepting food from some stranger.
***
While inside the elevator, I couldn't help but worry with every floor I reach. Sa isip ko, nagdadasal akong wala sanang ibang sumakay, kaya naman labis ang ginhawang naramdaman ko nang mag-isa pa rin ako hanggang sa pagdating ko sa lobby.
"Ms. Gustavo?"
Napalingon ako nang biglang may tumawag sa akin. Dumako ang tingin ko sa mahabang sofa at nakita ang pagtayo ng isang matandang babaeng may maikling buhok at makapal na salamin. Her bag and gold jewelry gave me the impression that she's pretty well-off.
All of a sudden, my guards were up. Do I have to fight an old person again?
"Good evening po." Despite my discomfort, I smiled and walked toward her, bowing a little.
The woman smiled from ear to ear and suddenly grabbed ahold of my hand, freaking me out to hell and back.
Wawakliin ko sana ang kamay niya, pero nagulat ako nang mapansing namumula at nanunubig ang kanyang mga mata.
I looked around, ready to defend myself in case I get accused of making an old rich woman cry.
"Hija, ako si Ms. Shirley," she said, patting her chest gently. However, from the way she spoke, it didn't sound like she was introducing herself. Rather, it was like she was reminding me of who she was.
I flashed my fakest polite smile and nodded. Okay, crazy old lady.
Napakurap-kurap siya at agad akong binitiwan. She must've realized how weird she acted. She then laughed, wiping the tears under her glasses. "P-Pasensya ka na."
Tumango ako ulit. "No worries, Ma'am."
Bumuntonghininga siya nang malakas at tumawang muli. "Siya nga pala, ako ang may-ari ng building. Kung may problema man, please, don't hesitate to call."
My brain instantly went cha-ching.
Puwedeng-puwede na siyang umiyak sa harapan ko! She can even lean on me if she wants!
The woman fetched out a business card from her bag, which I wholeheartedly and politely accepted.
"Nga pala, saan ka pupunta? Gabi na, a?" aniya.
"Just going to look around po . . find a place to eat or maybe hang out?" I shrugged, quite unsure of my own mind.
"Mahilig ka ba sa mga pelikula?" Ms. Shirley's eyes turned into slits.
I nodded in a heartbeat and grinned. "Obsessed!"
My Mama says I'm addicted to tv shows and movies. Mula pagkabata, mas gusto kong manood ng TV o pelikula kaysa makipaglaro sa iba. I even used to skip school just to stay in my room and watch stuff. Looking back, I guess I was just an introverted kid who loves visual entertainment.
"Good!" She beamed and fetched out her wallet. To my utter shock, she grabbed a thousand peso bill and buried it straight to my palm—like she wasn't taking no for an answer. "Pumara ka ng taxi tapos sabihin mo, doon ka sa Romeo Cinema. Have dinner and watch a movie!"
"Po?" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Hala, nakakahiya po!" Tinangka kong ibalik sa kanya ang pera pero mabilis siyang nag-krus ng mga balikat at humarap sa ibang direksiyon.
"Tanggapin mo 'yan. Magtatampo talaga ako!" May pagtataray niyang sambit.
Sa sobrang kalituhan, natawa na lamang ako.
***
Ms. Shirley's kindness felt too good to be true. Itinago ko ang perang ibinigay niya, walang intensiyong gamitin ito. I didn't want to come off as rude by returning it, but I was ready to give it back in case some sumbatan session occurs.
Habang nag-aabang ng masasakyan, nag-research muna ako tungkol sa sinehan na tinutukoy niya. Nang makitang may Romeo Cinema nga sa lungsod ng La Bianco at hindi naman ito mukhang kuta ng mga masasamang loob, pumara na ako ng taxi.
Inside the taxi, all I did was stare at the streets we were passing by. Gabi na pero maliwanag pa rin ang paligid at masigla ang mga sidewalk. People were busy trying to get to their destinations, while others were just simply there for the hell of it.
They describe La Bianco as a small provincial town, but for me, it's no different than other bustling cities out there. Maraming mga building na nagliliwanag pa rin, at sangkatutak pa ang mga sasakyan sa kalsada. I sure hope the mindset is as modern as it looks though. I mean, for the love of all things holy, it's already 2015.
Pagbaba ko sa taxi, napako ako sa kinatatayuan at napatitig sa gusaling nasa harapan ko.
The building was almost the size of a regular mall and it looked like it was stories high. The words "Romeo Cinema" glowed in gold neon colors. The building's design was a simple cube-like structure, but it looked pretty sleek.
However, what amazed me was the fact that the building was literally for showing movies. Nasanay ako na nasa mall ang mga sinehan. Elementary pa yata ako nang huli akong makakita ng sinehang may sarili talagang gusali.
"Nice." Sa pagpasok ko, hindi ko napigilang ngumiti nang makita ang mga movie posters na halatang hand-painted. Nakasabit sila sa dingding kung saan nakalagay ang 'now showing' na neon sign.
Lumapit ako upang pagmasdan nang malapitan ang mga hand-painted na poster. Sa sobrang tuwa, nilabas ko pa ang cell phone ko para i-research ang pinagbasehan ng mga ito.
Manghang-mangha ako habang palipat-lipat sa bawat poster, lalo na nang makarating ako sa harapan ng poster para sa pelikulang "San Andreas." Medyo may kakaiba sa painted version ng mukha ni The Rock, pero bilib na bilib ako sa pagkakaguhit ng mga building na gumuguho at umuusok. Halatang tutok na tutok ang artist sa pagguhit ng bawat detalye.
"Kunan mo ng litrato. Maganda yan kung ilalagay sa Instagram."
Mabilis akong napalingon nang may magsalita mula sa likuran ko.
Awtomatiko akong napaatras nang makita ang isang matandang lalakeng halos hindi na makatayo nang tuwid. Singputi ng kanyang manipis na buhok ang suot na kulay puting polo t-shirt, na naka-tuck in pa sa kanyang pantalon. His deep, wrinkly eyes also looked red and tired.
He smiled, suddenly raising my alarms.
Ngumiti na lamang ako pabalik. I'm not comfortable around older people that's not a member of my family kaya maglalakad na sana ako palayo, pero muli siyang nagsalita.
"Ikaw si Shari, 'yong bagong tenant namin 'di ba?"
Napako ako sa kinatatayuan. Lumingon ako sa matanda at pilit na ngumiti na parang isang inosenteng anghel. "Hala, asawa po kayo ni Ms. Shirley?"
Tumawa siya nang malakas at umiling. He threw his head back as he laughed heartily, natakot tuloy ako bigla dahil parang matutumba na siya.
"Nakababata kong kapatid si Shirley," pagtatama niya, nahiya tuloy ako bigla.
"Oh my God! Sorry po!" I bowed a little. Kasalanan ng mga kdramang pinapanood ko.
"Naku, wala 'yon." Umiling-iling siya't nagwasiwas ng kamay. "Siya nga pala, kamamatay lang ng asawa ni Shirley noong nakaraang taon kaya huwag nating babanggitin kapag nasa building, ha?" His neck looked strained and his eyes were watery as he spoke. Parang hirap na hirap siyang magsalita, pero halatang nasa mood pa rin dumaldal.
He sounded so warm and gentle that I found myself nodding and smiling. Still, my guards were up. He and Ms. Shirley are basically strangers. What's worse, they own the apartment I'm living at. Paano kung may secret passages pala sila or hidden camera na inilagay sa unit ko?
"Paano mo po pala ako nakilala?" I couldn't help but worry. This was the first time I met him, and yet, he already recognizes me. Same with his sister.
Ngumiti siya at tinitigan lamang ako. It creeped me out a little, pero naisip kong baka nag-loading lang ang isip niya. Ganyan minsan ang lolo ko noon, e. Besides, the old man right in front of me looks old-old. Parang nasa 90s na.
Uulitin ko sana ulit ang tanong, pero natigilan ako nang mapansin ang luhang pumatak mula sa kanyang mga mata.
Napakurap-kurap ako sa gulat, hindi alam anong gagawin o sasabihin. Ano bang problema ng mga matatanda sa lugar na 'to?!
Panicked, I had to ask, "S-Sir, okay ka—"
"Pasensya na, kahapon pa mahapdi ang mga mata ko." Tumawa siyang muli at nagpunas ng luha, pero nakita kong may pumatak na ring luha mula sa kabila niyang mata. Nagsimula siyang suminghot habang tumatawa. "Naku, kapag matanda ka na talaga. Kung ano-ano na ang karamdaman."
I didn't want him to feel embarrassed, so I faced the posters again and stared at them.
Huminga siya nang malalim at napansin kong kumuha siya ng panyo mula sa kanyang bulsa. Habang nagpupunas ng mukha, nagpatuloy iya sa pagsasalita, "I'm sorry, Hija."
Napalingon ako sa kanya.
Ngumiti siyang muli at umiling. "Nag-background check kami sa 'yo. Gusto naming masigurong mabubuting tao lamang ang titira sa building."
His answered felt like a total invasion of privacy, but I just nodded and smiled back. Paano naman kami? Paano namin malalamang mabuti kayong tao?
"Pasado naman po siguro ako, 'di ba?" biro ko na lamang.
"Oo naman, Hija." Taas-noo niyang sambit. "Pangako, habang nakatira ka sa poder namin, sisiguraduhin namin ang kaligtasan mo. Natuto na kami sa mga nangyari noon."
"Noon?" Nakunot ang noo ko.
Pumikit siya at tumango. Ilang sandali siyang nakatayo lamang at mabigat ang bawat paghinga. Kinabahan ako dahil baka inaatake na siya sa puso. Diyos ko, huwag po!
"May batang ipinagkatiwala sa akin noon." Dumilat siya at nakita kong nanunubig na ulit ang kanyang mga mata. Pansin ko pang nanginginig na ang kamay niyang may hawak na panyo.
"Napahamak siya dahil sa kapabayaan ko." And just like that, he burst into tears.
I froze where I stood, unable to comprehend what was going on.
It was the first time I saw an old man cry and it hurt like hell.
"Pasensya ka na." He gasped, quickly wiping his tears again. He was trying to stop himself from crying but from the way his shoulders kept moving up and down, it was clear that he had trouble controlling his emotions.
"S-Sir, ang puso n'yo ho." I blurted out, scared that for his health and safety.
"Okay lang . . . " Tumango-tango siya at pilit na tumawa kahit na pulang-pula pa ang mukha at maya't mayang sumisinghap. "Okay lang ako."
Even if he kept saying he's okay, I was still worried. Inalalayan ko siya paupo sa isang mahabang upuan. It was a good thing napakaraming mauupuan sa paligid.
Soon, I found myself sitting right next to him. None of us spoke a word and all I did was stare mindlessly at the posters on the wall.
"Pasensiya ka na, Hija," he spoke after what felt like forever. His breathing sounded calm and his hands were no longer trembling when I looked at him.
"Nagiging emotional din po ang lolo ko sa tuwing may mga naalala siya sa nakaraan." I shrugged and smiled, trying to make him feel a little bit better.
"Pagpasensiyahan mo na talaga kaming mga matatanda," he said, all smiley again.
I didn't know what else to say, so I looked around, trying to find something we could talk about.
A lightbulb lit over my head when I saw a hiring sign on the wall. Tamang-tama, naghahanap ako ng part-time job!
"Uy! Hiring sila!" I beamed, pointing it out.
"Gusto mong magtrabaho rito?" He sounded amused as he asked.
"Depende po sa suweldo at kung mabait ang boss," I said jokingly and shrugged.
The old man chuckled. "Mabait naman ako at okay magpasuweldo sabi ng mga empleyado ko."
My eyes widened as my head slowly turned to face him. "Hindi naman po siguro ikaw ang manager dito, 'di ba?"
Siya naman ang nagkibit-balikat. "Hindi, pero ako ang may-ari."
I let out a loud gasp and clutched my chest. Hindi ko na talaga natago ang gulat ko. It was a very mortifying moment for me.
"Salvador Romeo," pakilala niya sa akin sabay lahad ng kanyang kamay. "Puwede mo akong tawaging Tiyo Salvador."
Tiyo Salvador?! We're not even close! Tama na ang pagpapahiya ko sa sarili ko!
I shook his hand and smiled. Hindi na ako nagpakilala pa dahil tapos na siya sa pagba-background check sa akin.
All of a sudden, a female employee dressed in blue polo and black pants walked toward us with an apprehensive smile. Nahihiya yatang makadistorbo sa usapan namin.
Sir Salvador and nodded. "May problema ba, Trina?"
Trina looked troubled, scratching her head. "Boss, same problem na naman. May customer na pong nagrereklamo sa kanya."
I was just listening to them when Sir Salvador suddenly turned to me and smiled. "Gusto mo na bang magsimula sa training mo ngayon?"
Napakurap-kurap ako. "Po?"
"Paid training kami rito," dagdag ni Sir Salvador kaya agad akong napangiti. Cha-ching!
***
Huminga ako nang malalim habang naglalakad sa ubod nang liwanag na hallway. Huminto ako sa malaking pinto at agad itong tinulak pabukas.
Sumambulat kaagad sa akin ang mukha ni The Rock sa screen. Pagsara ko ng pinto, sinakop ng kadiliman ang kinatatayuan ko.
Kinakabahan man, pilit kong tinatagan ang kalooban. Pinaandar ko ang flashlight na pinahiram nila sa akin at maingat na humakbang patungo sa hagdan. Dumadagundong ang puso ko dahil sa lakas ng audio, at hindi nakatulong na isang malakas na lindol ang pinapakita sa eksena. My sight and hearing were completely overwhelmed with my surroundings.
Umakyat ako sa hagdan, pilit na tinatatagan ang sarili. Sa bawat nakabibinging dagundong, lalong humihigpit ang hawak ko sa flashlight.
Nang makarating ako sa tuktok, tuluyan akong nakahinga nang maluwag. Kaagad kong nilibot ang paningin sa paligid hanggang sa makita ko ang pakay ko.
Tinutok ko ang flashlight sa pinakadulong upuan at nakita ang lalakeng natutulog. Nakataas ang kanyang mga paa sa upuan at ginawa niyang sandalan ng pisngi ang dalawang mga kamay. He was basically in a fetal positon while facing the wall.
The entire row was empty but I still struggled as I walked toward him. By the time I reached him, I took a deep breath and pointed the light directly at his face. It was only then when I realized that he was wearing headphones.
What the hell is wrong with him?! Why would he sleep inside the cinema while wearing headphones?!
"Sir . . . " With my politest voice, I tried to wake him up. "Sir . . ."
I moved the light around his face, trying to get through to him. And when that didn't work, I had to tap him in the shoulder.
"Sir?"
His skin felt so cold. Kung hindi lang nila sinabi na palagi niya itong ginagawa, siguro inisip kong chugi na siya.
"Sir?"
I tapped him again, and to my relief, he frowned and shook his head. He placed his hand over his face and slowly opened his eyes.
I didn't want to blind him, so I slowly moved the light away from his face. "Sir, bawal pong matulog dito."
The guy just yawned and faced the wall again, burying his left cheeks under his hands.
Kung hindi lang talaga siya mukhang tanga sa ginagawa, bumilib na ako dahil mukhang hindi siya nakakaramdam ng pangangalay sa posisyon niya. In fact, he looked really comfortable. Parang fetus talaga na may suot na headphones!
I took a deep breath and weighed my options. In the end, I decided to play pitiful first. If left with no choice, saka na ako mag-ha-hulk mode.
"Sir . . . " I tried to sound as sad and desperate as I could. "Sir, please po, baka masesante ako kung hindi ka pa lalabas dito."
I heard him heave a loud sigh. I couldn't help but smile.
"Sir, please po, kailangan ko po talaga ang trabahong 'to. Kailangan ko po talaga—"
Before I could even finish, the guy stood up. It was clear from the way he stomped how annoyed he was, but I couldn't care less. It was already a win for me.
As he walked past the row of empty chairs, I noticed how he didn't even fetch out his phone to guide him in the dark. Parang kampante na siya sa katiting na liwanag mula sa screen.
Worried that he might trip and fall, sinundan ko siya at tinutok ang liwanag ng flashlight sa kanyang nilalakaran.
Lumingon siya sa akin nang mapansin ang ginagawa ko.
"Keep walking," I ordered and flicked the light forward.
He let out another loud sigh, faced ahead, and continued walking.
I felt victorious at how I handled my first task, so I couldn't stop smiling even as we walked down the stairs.
The guy was the first to reach the door. When he opened it, an obnoxious amount of light greeted me. Nasanay ang mga mata ko sa dilim ng sinehan kaya nagtaas ako ng kamay at pinatong ito sa ibabaw ng mga mata ko.
All of a sudden, everything was bright and the loud noises were muffled. Wala sa sarili akong lumingon, nakapatong pa rin ang kamay sa ibabaw ng mga mata.
I was surprised to see the guy closing the door. He kept it open until I could pass by.
I blinked to help my eyes adjust from the light. And by the time I put my hand down and looked around, I noticed that it was just the two of us, standing in the middle of the brightly lit hallway.
"Bakit wala kang uniform? Bagong empleyado ka ba rito?" the guy spoked as he walked toward me, earning my undivided attention.
Nang magtagpo ang mga mata namin, bigla na lamang umawang ang kanyang labi. Hinila niya pababa ang suot na headphones at nanatiling nakapako sa kinatatayuan.
Sa hindi malamang dahilan, natigilan din ako at hindi nakagalaw habang nakatayo kami sa harapan ng isa't isa.
Tila ba biglang huminto ang oras at may kung anong mahikag nag-udyok sa akin na manatiling nakatitig sa kanya. Mahikang nagpahigpit sa puso ko.
With every second I spent staring at his eyes, I slowly realized one thing.
All I felt was hate.
xxx