WASHINGTON D.C.
Senator Stern: Mr Stark, could we pick up now where we left off? Mr Stark. Please.
Tony: [turns around from where he was trying to talk to Pepper who looks like she was trying to tell him off.] Yes dear?
Senator Stern: Can I have your attention?
Tony: Absolutely.
Stern: Do you or do you not possess a specialised weapon?
Tony: I do not.
Stern: You do not?
Tony: I do not. Well, it depends on how you define the word weapon.
Stern: The Iron Man weapon.
Tony: My device does not fit that description.
Stern: Well... How would you describe it?
Tony: I would describe it by defining it as what it is, Senator.
Stern: As?
Tony: It's a high-tech prosthesis. That is... That is... That's actually the most apt description I can make of it.
Stern: It's a weapon. It's a weapon, Mr Stark.
Tony: Please, if your priority was actually the well-being of the American citizen...
Stern: My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America.
Tony: Well, you can forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself which is tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution, depending or what state you're in. You can't have it.
Stern: Look, I'm no expert...
Tony: In prostitution? Of course not. You're a senator. Come on.
[People laugh. He waves. Pepper does not look impressed at all. He mouths "no?" and she shakes her head.]
Stern: I'm no expert in weapons. We have somebody here who is an expert on weapons. I'd now like to call Justin Hammer, our current primary weapons contractor.
Tony: Let the record reflect that I observed Mr Hammer entering the chamber, and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance.
Justin Hammer: Absolutely. I'm no expert. I defer to you, Anthony. You're the wonder boy. Senator, if I may. I may well not be an expert, but you know who was the expert? Your dad. Howard Stark. Really a father to us all, and to the military-industrial age. Let's just be clear, he was no flower child. He was a lion. We all know why we're here. In the last six months, Anthony Stark has created a sword with untold possibilities. And yet, he insists it's a shield. He asks us to trust him as we cower behind it. I wish I were comforted, Anthony, I really do. I'd love to leave my door unlocked when I leave the house, but this ain't Canada. You know, we live in a world of grave threats, threats that Mr Stark will not always be able to foresee. Thank you. God bless Iron Man. God bless America.
Stern: That is well said Mr Hammer. The committee would now like to invite Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes to the chamber.
Tony: Rhodey? What?
[Rhodey walks in, Tony gets up to greet him] \
Tony: Hey, buddy. I didn't expect to see you here.
Rhodey: Look, it's me, I'm here. Deal with it. Let's move on.
Tony: I just...
Rhodey: Drop it.
Tony: All right, I'll drop it.
"you were at senate hearing?" asked kata in shock "what is it with people i'm friends with being at senate hearings?" asked clint, "what can i say we love the senate" "didn't they try to arrest you?" steve asked kata "yes but you know they didn't" christine opened another portal and two people fell out, identical women tessa and laura barton, "what the??" asked tessa "hello" said kata "kat, so what are we doing here?" "did i forget to mention?" asked christine "yes' said kata "miss petrova meet your family" kata turned to a family of four two women and two men, she frowned 'so your the people who abandoned me how nice" and she turned away and talked to her sister in laws and the movie continued
Stern: I have before me a complete report on the Iron Man weapon, complied by Colonel Rhodes. And, Colonel, for the record, can you please read page 57, paragraph four?
Rhodey: You're requesting that I read specific selections from my report, Senator?
Stern: Yes, sir.
Rhodey: It was my understanding that I was going to be testifying in a much more comprehensive and detailed manner.
Stern: I understand. A lot of things have changed today. So if you could just read...
Rhodey: You do understand that reading a single paragraph out of context does not reflect the summery of my final...
Stern: Just read it, Colonel. I do. Thank you.
Rhodey: Very well. "As he does not operate within any definable branch of government, Iron Man presents a potential threat to the security of both the nation and to her interests." I did however, go on to summarise that the benefits of Iron Man far outweigh three liabilities and that it would be in our interest...
Stern: That's enough Colonel
Rhodey: ...to fold Mr Stark...
Stern: That's enough
Rhodey: ...into the existing chain of command, Senator.
Tony: I'm not a joiner, but I'll consider Secretary of Defence, if you ask nice.
[Laughs from crowd.]
Tony: We can amend the hours a little bit.
Stern: I'd like to go on and show, if I may, the imagery that's connected to your report.
Rhodey: I believe it is somewhat premature to reveal these images to the general public at this time.
Stern: With all due respect, Colonel, I understand. And if you could just narrate those for us, we'd be very grateful. Let's have the images.
Rhodey: Intelligence suggests that the devices seen in these photos are, in fact, attempts at making manned copies of Mr Stark's suit. This has been corroborated by our allies and local intelligence on the ground...
[Tony is doing something on a Stark device]
Rhodey: ... indicating that these suits are quite possibly, at this moment, operational.
Tony: Hold on a second buddy. Let me see something here. [Sets up his device to connect with the screen showing the pictures.] Boy, I'm good. I commandeered your screens. I need them. Time for a little transparency. Now, let's see what's really going on.
Stern: What is he doing?
Tony: If you will direct your attention to said screens, I believe that's North Korea. [Video of a suit. It falls over and clearly doesn't work very well at all.]
Stern: Can you turn that off? Take it off. [Justin Hammer stands up]
Tony: Iran.
[This suit can fly. For all of five seconds before crashing, judging by the smoke, probably on fire. Justin is by the screen, trying to find the off switch.]
Tony: No grave threat here. Is that Justin Hammer? How did Hammer get in the game?
[Yep, it's a video of Justin Hammer. With a suit. Again that really doesn't work.]
Tony: Justin, you're on TV. Focus up.
TV Justin: Okay, give me a left twist. Left's good. Turn to the right. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
[Language Justin]
Tony: [Just as not-TV Justin finds the plug and unplugs the screen] Wow. Yeah, I'd say most countries, five, ten years away. Hammer Industries, twenty.
Justin: I'd like to point out that that test pilot survived.
Stern: I think we're done is the point that he's making. I don't think there's any reason...
Tony: The point is, you're welcome, I guess
Stern: For what?
Tony: Because I'm your nuclear deterrent. It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property? You can't have it. But I did you a big favour.
"you have quite the ego" snapped james potter "and what is that ego?" asked kata "that he made america secure and safe" replied james "your not even amercian" snapped kata "and nor are you" said lilly "no, i'm russian" "your british" said the potter family in sync
[Stands up and turns around to face the crowd]
Tony: I've successfully privatised world peace.
[Both hands make peace signs and everyone stands up, all talking at once]
Tony: What more do you want? For now! I tried to play ball with these ass-clowns.
Stern: [beep] you, Mr Stark. [beep] you, buddy. We're adjourned. We're adjourned for today.
Tony: [puts on sunglasses. Rhodey's still sitting down and has the same look on his face as Pepper did. Basically, they're both tired of Tony not taking serious things seriously] Okay.
Stern: You've been a delight.
[Kind of scene change. It's now on a television on a Russian news channel with Russian dubbing. Because it's a film where the selected language is English, we can still here the English clearer than the Russian. We're back to Ivan.]
Tony (on TV): My bond is with the people. And I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself.
[Ivan is still working. There's things going blue. It works. It's not a full suit, but it does now look like he has whips made of lightning. Scene change. Tony's house. He's in his workshop. Pans in from across the ocean]
MALIBU, CALIFORNIA
Tony: Wake up, Daddy's home.
Jarvis (V.O., A.I): Welcome home, sir. Congratulations on the opening ceremonies. They were such a success, as was your Senate hearing. And may I say how refreshing it is to finally see you in a video with your clothing on, sir.
"who said that" "jarvis my AI" said tony
[One of the robots is trying to make a smoothie. Without a blender lid]
Tony: You!
[You knocks over the blender. Well, he tried.]
Tony: I swear to God I'll dismantle you. I'll soak your motherboard. I'll turn you into a wine rack.
[You looks down, sad.]
Tony: How many ounce a day of this gobbledegook am I supposed to drink?
Jarvis: We are up to 80 ounces a day to counteract the symptoms, sir.
[Tony downs green liquid]
Tony: Check palladium levels.
[Using the same machine as before]
Jarvis: Blood toxicity, 24%. It appears that the continued use of the Iron Man suit is accelerating your condition. Another core has been depleted.
"you were not going to tell me were you?" asked pepper, to which tony shook his head, pepper huffed
Tony: [Takes Arc Reactor out of chest. The core pops out, rusted and slightly smoking.] God, they're running out quick.
Jarvis: I have run simulations on every known element, and none can serve as a viable replacement for the palladium core.
[Tony inputs a new core. It's silver, giving a judgment of just how badly damaged the other one was. Replaces Arc Reactor in chest.]
Jarvis: You are running out of both time and options. Unfortunately, the device that's keeping you alive is also killing you.
[Which we can see from the image of Tony's chest on the computer screen. There's blue lines all around the Arc Reactor. Camera angle shifts to focus on his actual chest.]
Jarvis: Miss Potts is approaching. I recommend that you inform her...
Tony: Mute.
'see even jarvis told you to tell me" "how was i supposed to tell my best friend "oh don't mind me i'm just casually dying" i couldn't tell you that" "hey hey guys save it for the honeymoon' said clint, "that is exactly what kata told us" said pepper
[Shirt back down, computers switched to screen saver, Pepper inputs a code and opens the door]
Pepper: Is this a joke? What are you thinking?
Tony: What?
Pepper: What are you thinking?
Tony: Hey, I'm thinking I'm busy. And you're angry about something. Do you have the sniffles? I don't want to get sick.
Pepper: Did you just donate...
Tony: Keep your business.
[Both walking around the room]
Pepper: ...our entire modern art collection to the...
Tony: Boy Scouts of America.
Pepper: ...Boy Scouts of America?
Tony: Yes. It is a worthwhile organisation. I didn't physically check the crates but, basically, yes. And it's not "our" collection, it's my collection. No offence.
Pepper: No, you know what? I think I'm actually entitled to say "our" collection considering the time that I put in, over 10 years, curating that.
Tony: It was a tax write-off. I needed that.
Pepper: You know, there's only about 8,011 things that I really need to talk to you about.
'how do you know that?" asked tony pepper shrugged
Tony: [to another robot] Dummy. Hey, stop spacing out. The Bridgeport's already machining that part.
Pepper: The Expo is a gigantic waste of time.
Tony: I need you to wear a surgical mask until you're feeling better. Is that okay?
Pepper: That's rude.
Tony: There's nothing more important to me than the Expo. It's my primary point of concern. I don't know why you're...
Pepper: The Expo is your ego gone crazy.
"well she isn't wrong"
Tony: [Picking up a painting. Of Iron Man] Wow. Look at that. That's modern art. That's going up.
Pepper: You've got to be kidding.
Tony: I'm gonna put this up right now. This is vital.
Pepper: Stark is in complete disarray. You understand that?
Tony: No. Our stocks have never been higher.
Pepper: Yes, from a managerial standpoint.
Tony: You are... Well, if's messy then let's double back.
Pepper: Let me give you an example.
Tony: Let's move onto another subject.
Pepper: No, no, no, no. You are not taking down the Barnett Newman and hanging that up.
Tony: I'm not taking it down. I'm just replacing it with this.
[Tony is now stood on a desk about to take down the Barnett Newman to put the Iron Man picture up].
Tony: Let's see what I can get going on here.
Pepper: Okay, fine. My point is, we have already awarded contracts to the wind farm people.
Tony: Yeah. Don't say "wind farm." I'm already feeling gassy.
Pepper: And to the plastic plantation tree, which was your idea by the way. Those people are on payroll...
Tony: Everything was my idea.
Pepper: ...and you won't make a decision.
Tony: I don't care about the liberal agenda any more. It's boring. Boring. I'm giving you a boring alert. [Jumps off desk] You do it.
Pepper: I do what?
Tony: Excellent idea. I just figured this out. You run the company.
Pepper: Yeah, I'm trying to run the company.
Tony: Pepper, I need you to run the company. Well, stop trying to do it and do it.
Pepper: You will not give me the information...
Tony: I'm not asking you to try...
Pepper: ...in order to...
Tony: I'm asking you to physically do it. I need you to do it.
Pepper: I am trying to do it.
Tony: Pepper, you're not listening to me!
Pepper: No, you are not listening to me.
Tony: I'm trying to make you CEO. Why won't you let me?
Pepper: Have you been drinking?
Tony: Chlorophyll. I hereby irrevocably appoint you chairman and CEO of Stark Industries effective immediately. Yeah, done deal. Okay? I've actually given this a fair amount of thought, believe it or not. [One of the robots brings him a tray which a bottle and glasses on it] Doing a bit of headhunting, so to speak, trying to figure out who a worthy successor would be. And then I realised it's you. It's always been you. [Pours champagne. Pepper sits down, shocked and confused]. I thought there'd be a legal issue, but actually I'm capable of appointing my successor. My successor being you. [Hands her a glass. She doesn't take it.] Congratulations? Take it, just take it.
"what does irrevocably mean" asked pansy "i can't take it back ever and for that i am happy"
Pepper: I don't know what to think.
Tony: Don't think, drink. There you go. [They tap glasses and drink]
[We're back in Russia. A man hands Ivan a letter down a twitten, out of sight. It contains a fake passport and a ticket. Another scene change. Tony and Happy are boxing. Pepper walks in.]
Pepper: The notary's here! Can you please come sign the transfer paperwork?
Tony: I'm on happy time. [Tony hits Happy in the face with his elbow] Sorry.
Happy: What the hell was that?
Tony: It's called mixed martial arts. It's been around for three weeks.
Happy: It's called dirty boxing, there's nothing new about it
Tony: All right, put them up. Come on. [The Notary walks in. Both Happy and Tony's attention shifts to her]
Pepper: I promise this is the only time I will ask you to sign over your company.
Notary: I need you to initial each box.
Happy: [Taps Tony on the back of the head with a light punch, not enough to hurt him] Lesson one. Never take your eye off... [Tony kicks him and he goes crashing into the corner of the ring. Camera angle shifts to Pepper and the Notary and clangs are heard.]
Tony: That's it. I'm done. What's your name, lady?
Notary: Palmer. karenina Palmer
Tony: Front and centre. Come into the church.
Pepper: No. You're seriously not gonna ask...
Tony: If it pleases the court, which it does.
Karenina: [To Pepper] It's no problem.
Pepper: [To Karenina] I'm sorry. He's very eccentric.
[Karenina enters ring. Tony swigs down more green liquid out of a bottle]
Tony: Can you give her a lesson?
Happy: No problem.
Tony: [Steps out of ring and towards Pepper] Pepper.
Pepper: What?
Tony: [Sitting down next to Pepper] Who is she?
Pepper: She is from legal. And she is potentially a very expensive sexual harassment lawsuit if you keep ogling her like that.
Tony: I need a new assistant, boss.
Pepper: Yes, and I've got three excellent potential candidates. They're lined up and ready to meet you.
Tony: I don't have time to meet. I need someone now. I feel like it's her.
Pepper: No, it's not.
Happy: You ever boxed before?
Karenina: I have, yes.
Happy: What, like, the Tae Bo? Booty Boot Camp? Crunch? Something like that? [Natalie's face shows brief annoyance at his statement before Tony distracts her]
Tony: How do I spell your name, Karenina?
Natalie: P-A-L-M-E-R.
Pepper: What, are you gonna google her now?
Tony: I thought I was ogling her. [Brings up Karenina's file on table which doubles up as a computer. He has computers on everything.] Wow. Very, very impressive individual.
Pepper: You're so predictable, you know that?
"yes i do" pepper rolled her eyes "hang on i'm so confused you used a fake identity, why" asked dean thomas "kata petrova isn't even her name it is kathrine potter" said lilly "kathrine potter, too english" said melina "she is english" "she needed a russian name she was raised in russia therefore she is russian" snapped clint
Tony: She's fluent in French, Italian, Russian, Latin. Who speaks Latin?
Pepper: No one speaks Latin.
Tony: No one speaks Latin
Pepper: It's a dead language. You can read Latin or you can write Latin, but you can't speak Latin.
Tony: Did you model in Tokyo? 'Cause she modelled in Tokyo.
Pepper: Well...
Tony: I need her. She's got everything that I need. [Camera is now on Karenina and Happy, Karenina looking over, hearing what Tony is saying]
Happy: Rule number one, never take your eyes off your opponent.
[He goes to take a swing, she grabs his hand and flips him over, legs over his head.]
Pepper: Oh, my God! Happy.
Tony: That's what I'm talking about.
Happy: I just slipped.
Tony: You did?
Happy: [Who looks a little like he's in pain] Yeah.
Tony: Looks like a TKO to me. [Rings the bell and Karenina leaves the ring]
Karenina: Just... I need your impression.
Tony: You have a quiet reserve. I don't know, you have an old soul.
Karenina: I meant your fingerprint.
Tony: Right.
Pepper: So, how are we doing?
Tony: Great. Just wrapping up here. Hey. You're the boss.
Karenina: Will that be all, Mr Stark?
Tony: No.
Pepper: Yes, that will be all, Ms Palmer. Thank you very much. [She leaves. Tony turns to Pepper]
Tony: I want one.
Pepper: No.
[News report is heard. In French. It's about the Grand Prix.
Tony, Pepper and Happy are seen leaving a car and walking into a building. Happy is carrying a red suitcase]
Tony: You know, it's Europe. Whatever happens the next 20 minutes, just go with it.
Pepper: Go with it? Go with what?
Karenina: Mr Stark?
Tony: Hey.
Karenina: Hello. How was your flight?
Tony: It was excellent. Boy, it's nice to see you.
Karenian: We have one photographer from the ACM, if you don't mind. Okay?
Pepper: When did this happen?
Tony: What? You made me do it.
Pepper: I made you do what?
Tony: You quit. Smile. Look, right there. Stop acting constipated. Don't flare your nostrils.
Pepper: You are so predictable.
Tony: That's the amazing thing.
Karenina: Right this way.
Tony: You look fantastic.
Karenina: Why, thank you very much.
Tony: But that's unprofessional. What's on the docket?
Karenina: You have a 9:30 dinner.
Tony: Perfect. I'll be there at 11:00.
Karenina: Absolutely.
Tony: Is this us?
Karenina: It can be.
Tony: Great. Make it us.
Karenina: Okay.
Pepper: Mr Musk. How are you?
Mr Musk: Hi, Pepper. Congratulations on the promotion.
Pepper: Thank you very much.
Tony: Elon, how's it going. Those Merlin engines are fantastic.
Mr Musk: Thank you. Yeah, I've got an idea for an electric jet.
Tony: You do?
Mr Musk: Yeah.
Tony: Then we'll make it work. [To Pepper as they walk] You want a massage?
Pepper: Oh, God. No. I don't want a massage.
Tony: I'll have Natalie make an...
Pepper: I don't want Natalie to do...
Tony: Don't want you tense. By the way, I didn't mean to spring this on you.
Pepper: Thank you very much.
Tony: Green is not your best colour. [Justin's head appears from behind someone]
Pepper: Oh, please.
Justin: Anthony. Is that you?
Tony: [To Pepper] My least favourite person on Earth.
Justin: Hey, pal.
Tony: Justin Hammer.
Justin: How you doing? You're not the only rich guy here with a fancy car. You know Christine Everhart from Vanity Fair. You guys know each other? [She appears.]
Christine: Hi. Yes.
Pepper: Yes.
Tony: Yes, roughly.
Pepper: We do.
Justin: BTW, big story. The new CEO of Stark Industries.
Christine: I know, I know.
Justin: Congratulations.
Christine: My editor will kill me if I don't grab a quote for our Powerful Women issue.
Pepper: Oh.
Christine: Can I?
Pepper: Sure.
Justin: She's actually doing a big spread on me for Vanity Fair. I thought I'd throw her a bone, you know. Right?
Pepper: Right. Well, she did quite a spread on Tony last year.
Tony: And she wrote a story as well.
Pepper: It was very impressive.
Tony: That was good.
Pepper: It was very well done.
Christine: Thank you.
Pepper: I'm gonna go wash.
Tony: Don't leave me.
Justin: Hey, buddy. How you doing?
Tony: I'm all right.
Justin: Looking gorgeous.
Tony: Please, this is tough.
Christine: Can I ask you... Is this the first time...
Justin: [Posing for a camera while Tony replaces sunglasses and tries to escape] Fromage, Say "Brie".
Christine: ...that you guys have seen each other?
Tony: God, that's so awful.
Christine: Listen, is it the first time you've seen each other since the Senate?
Tony: Since he got his contract revoked...
Justin: Actually, it's on hold.
Tony: ...when you were attempting to...That's not what I heard. What's the difference between "hold and "cancelled"? The truth?
Christine: Yes, what is it?
Justin: No. The truth is... Why don't we put that away? The truth is, I'm actually hoping to present something at your Expo.
Tony: Well, if you invent something that works, I'll make sure I get you a slot.
Karenina: Mr Stark?
Tony: Yes?
Karenina: Your corner table is ready.
Justin: I actually have a slot this year. Yes, I do.
Tony: Hammer needs a slot, Christine.
Justin: We kid, yeah. We kid. We're kidders.
[Tony is doing another test. It reads Blood toxicity 53%. He's in a bathroom.]
Tony: [In the mirror] Got any other bad ideas?