Little(s?) - Seungmin, XXXXXXX
Caregiver(s?) - XXXXXXXXXX
Warnings: anxiety attack and some swears. not a lot.
Summary: Basically in the first paragraph but: Seungmin stresses himself out over some small lyrics
Remember everyone has an anxiety attack differently.
And totally not based off of a current situation (some tmi)
^~^
Kim Seungmin is a closeted little and bi-romantic. He's also in a K-pop group called Stray Kids. Sounds weird, right? They aren't actual kids, age-wise and physically. Nor are they homeless, yet at least. Seeing how much they start fires in their dorm they might soon but that's a story for another day. Anyways,
The only person Seungmin has ever told about being bi-romantic was his old friend back when he lived in America. After that, he's never told anyone. Why? Long story short, that kid told the whole grade which led to the whole school knowing, and everywhere Seungmin went, kids teased him about "you would like someone to stick something up your ass?" and such. Elementary and middle schoolers can be scary.
After that, the family moved back to South Korea and Kim Seungmin started over again. He decided to not spill anything personal to him (such as being bi-romantic) to any future close friends. It was a great decision. He would never be hurt again.
The time came when he got accepted into JYP Entertainment and he had more work to do on top of schoolwork. Over his trainee time in JYP, he met a person called Bang Christopher Chan, Chan for short. Turns out, Chan went to the same school as Seungmin so they hung out quite a bit, always discussing about their life as a trainee. One lunch, Chan asked Seungmin if he wanted to be in a group with him.
Seungmin asked if there was anyone else and Chan named off a Han Jisung and Seo Changbin. Seungmin didn't know about the latters, maybe he's heard of Han Jisung. If he did remember correctly, Han Jisung thought highly of himself and often fought with other trainees. Scary.
In the end, Seungmin agreed and asked if Chan wanted anyone else. Chan said to look around for any potentials.
Over time the small group grew to nine members. In age order, the members were: Kim Woojin (vocalist), Bang Christopher Chan, Lee Minho (dancer. He worked with BTS as a dancer), Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin (Dancer. Pretty tall and visuals like a prince but Chan loved him regardless of his prince-like appearance), Han Jisung, Lee Felix Yongbok (Aussie like Chan. Deep voice. Cute, fairy-like appearance. Actual sunshine.), Kim Seungmin, lastly Yang Jeongin (vocalist. Baby). Chan told Park Jinyoung that he wanted this group to debut together. It took some time but Park Jinyoung agreed to the idea.
After that, the group went through a survival show. In the beginning, the group went against a group of girls who would later be called Itzy. After that, they won and got to debut first. They went through a series of evaluations, one including that they had to self-produce their own song. Music, lyrics, and even the dance. Once all that was done, they debuted on March 25th, 2018. Kim Seungmin was one of the main vocalists, along with his fellow Kim Woojin.
Over his time with the group, he befriended two members the most. Those two are Yang Jeongin and Lee Minho. Over time the three started creating songs together. Without telling 3Racha, the producing sub-unit that contains Bang Chan, Seo Changbin, and Han Jisung.
Currently, the odd trio were sitting in the dance practice room. They had just practiced the dance for their new song, Maniac. Seungmin had his head resting on Minho's thigh and his legs on Jeongin's lap. He was sprawled out comfortably on the ground as the trio took a rest.
They sat in comfortable silence as music played at a pianissimo volume from Minho's phone. Minho stroked Seungmin's hair softly as he listened to the current playing song.
Jeongin looked over at his best friends. "Are we done for the day?" He asked, moving Seungmin's legs off his lap so he could lie down next to the elder.
Minho started stroking Jeongin's hair too. "Sure if you want." Minho smiled adoringly at his two maknae's.
"Yes." Seungmin agreed, looking up at his older friend. "But I would rather just chill in here for now," he grabbed Minho's hand and placed it on his head, meaning he wanted more head rubs.
"Okay then," Minho resumed petting Seungmin, "what shall we talk about?"
Jeongin shrugged, as did Seungmin. Then the boy nicknamed maknae on top brightened up. "I wrote more lyrics for our song!"
2Min looked at the boy, who ran across the room to grab his phone. "I'm so proud of you, Innie!" Minho sarcastically said.
When Jeongin waddled back over to the two, he slapped Minho's arm. "It's small but I was thinking something like..." he extended each vowel a bit much as he opened the notes app on his phone. "This!" He handed both Min's the phone.
They both read the lyrics carefully. Their song, they decided, was about a love triangle, based on their music video, Mixtape: On Track. Each individual would write as if they were stuck in the triangle. Minho said to create more emotion between the three ways.
The lyrics Jeongin wrote read as the following:
I was a fool to think I could win
Your heart faster than him
I ran out of breath as you ran away
It was impossible to swim toward you
You fell for someone else
Someone, not me
Someone better than me.
Then it cut off.
"Again it's not much but that's what I worked with at five in the morning yesterday,"
2Min looked up at Jeongin, Minho handing the phone back to the younger. "Personally, I think it's great. What about you, Seungie?" Minho nudged Seungmin's arm.
Seungmin sat up. "I love it," he hugged the maknae tightly. "Who hurt you, Innie?" He jokingly said.
"I've had my experiences," He shrugged it off. "Anyways! I was thinking it could be like the uh... the b-bridge!" He said with his oh-so-cute little stutter. Seungmin couldn't help but smile at the small, perfect flaw suited for Yang Jeongin. "Like it has big emotion... vocally! And the instruments are minimal besides whoever is going to sing that line. Much like in Chan's song! You know, I Hate To Admit!"
Minho nodded along, looking at the maknae with loving eyes. "I get what you mean," he said. "And you know, I was thinking the exact same thing for the bridge. The lyrics don't seem like much," the two maknaes nodded in agreement, "but it holds, or can hold deep emotion," He reached out his hand to ruffle Jeongin's hair. As he did, "Our baby bread is so cute," he said.
Jeongin pushed Minho's hands away. "No, I'm not!"
Seungmin giggled and joined Minho in giving the baby affection. "You're so cute, Innie!" He started tickling Jeongin's stomach.
The maknae fell onto the ground in a fit of giggles and loud laughter as his friends tickled him over and over, telling him how cute he was.
"I just want to pamper you with kisses and love all the time!" Minho spoke, sounding like he was speaking to a baby. Jeongin giggled loudly."I want you to giggle all the time! You're so cute!"
"St– stop!" He laughed, trying to push 2Min's hands away.
"Baby Innie wants us to stop, Seungminnie," Minho looked at Seungmin, stopping both his and Seungmin's hands. Jeongin panted, trying to catch his breath again. "Was it too much?" He pulled Jeongin onto his lap.
Jeongin shook his head, snuggling his head into Minho's (big) chest. "I wuved it, Minmin...."
Minho smiled adoringly and placed a kiss on the maknae's head. "I'm glad,"
Seungmin looked at the two with half-lidded eyes and a lovesick smile on his face. He loved when his two best friends get like this. When the two feel free enough to show their love for each other. When it's just these three and the couple decide to be lovey-dovey with each other. Of course, Seungmin allows them since the two never really show affection when the other members are around. It's whatever makes them happy. Whatever makes the couple happy, Seungmin's happy with.
Seungmin looked over the lyrics he wrote.
Looking at you two together makes me jealous.
My eyes quiver between your hands
I thought it was supposed to be us
Not you and him alone
But the three of us, unknown
We promised the three musketeers
Now I'm chasing fears
Looking at you happily
I wish I was with you two–
He slammed the notebook closed. It startled Chan and Jisung, causing them to look at the boy on the couch. "Seungmin? Are you okay?" Chan asked, turning away from his computer. Seungmin looked up at Chan with confused eyes. "You slammed your notebook pretty hard. Everything good?"
Seungmin nodded, slowly opening his notebook again. "Yeah... yeah everything's fine." He smiled weakly.
"Channie, can you look over these?" Jisung gave his phone to Chan.
"Sure... Seungmin," the vocalist looked at Chan. "Are you ready to record?"
"Re– record what?"
"The song for our next album. You know? 24 to 25." He reminded.
"I– I– I thought you– I thought that was tomorrow?"
Chan shook his head. "If you want to do it tomorrow and rest today, you can,"
"Yes please–" Wait. But he's the main vocalist. He shouldn't be scared. "Actually... yes. It's– it's just the demo, right?"
"Right. Are you sure you're ready?" Chan asked again. He was concerned big time. Seungmin never stuttered like this or acted like this.
"I'm ready, Channie!" Seungmin shot up.
"We can just– we'll just do it tomorrow. You can take the rest of the day off,"
No. NO! Now he sounds weak and scared. In front of Jisung too! Noooooo! "We are doing it now!"
Chan and Jisung looked up from Jisung's phone. "It's fine, Seungmin. We have to do other things anyways–"
"I want to do it now, Channie!" Oh no. oh no no no no no NO. WHY. WHY KIM SEUNGMIN? Snap out of it. Don't. Fucking idiot.
He stood in place, looking at the two's reactions to his temper tantrum. They looked disgusted. "I– I didn't–" His hands trembled. Oh god. He needed to get out. He needed to run away. They hate him. They think he's disgusting. His breathing patterns quickened as he ran out of the studio without much thought.
"Seungmin!" Chan yelled out.
Felix walked out of the dance practice room with a satisfied grin on his face. His body was pressed against the door when another crashed into him. He looked at the batch of hair. "Seungmin?" The vocalist looked up. His eyes were more pearly than usual. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Not again. No no no! "W– where's Minho? I– I– mean Jeongin! Where's Jeonginnie– Jeongin!" He begged.
"Hey hey hey," Felix shushed. He stroked the younger's hair. "Calm down. I'll take you to Jeongin, okay? Just take some breaths–"
"NO! I want Jeonginnie now!" WHY CAN'T YOU SHUT UP SEUNGIE? THEY DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!
"Okay... sheesh..." Felix guided him inside the practice room he was just in. "Jeongin, you have a request–" Seungmin rushed out of Felix's grip to find the maknae. " –ed friend... okay." He walked back out of the room.
Jeongin looked up from his phone to see Seungmin running towards him. He opened his arms and let the boy come into his embrace with tears now running down his cheeks. "What's wrong, Seungminnie?"
"Can every– everyone stop ask– asking me d– dat! Is– is annoying!" He cried, hugging Jeongin tighter. "I– I can't b– bweath... help me– me Innie–"
"Calm down, Seungie," Jeongin forced Seungmin to look at him. "What have we practiced?" Seungmin tried deep breathing but his breath left him in shudders. "Slow down, Seungie..."
"I– I can't Innie– is– is too– too– too– hard–" He stuttered, his breathing becoming worse. He clamped his hands together, that soon would be hard for him to have control over. "In– INNIE! I– I CAN NOT UNCIRCLE HANDS! HEWP MEE! IT– IT HURTS! HEWP MEE INNIE! WANT TO– WANT TO UNCIRCLE HANDS– HEWP–"
"Seungie! Seungie! Puppy, listen," Jeongin took Seungmin's hands into his own. He interlocked their hands and rubbed the elder's hands. Seungmin looked at Jeongin with his big, tear-ridden puppy-like eyes. It hurt Jeongin to see the boy like that. "Can you hear me?" Seungmin nodded. "You're okay, puppy. Lean against my chest," he pulled Seungmin close and put Seungmin's back on his (Jeongin's) chest. He breathed long and slow. "Follow me," he continued to breathe deeply.
This contact allowed Seungmin to adjust to the new pattern and soon he was calm.
"Are you okay, Puppy?"
"Seungie wants to go home..." Seungmin closed his eyes as he did more deep breathing.
Jeongin nodded with a sigh. "Okay... Let's get your face washed up then we can get Minho to drive us home–"
"No! Minmin cannot know about Seungie!" Seungmin turned around to face Jeongin. "He can't know about Seungie! Not yet!" He said, a bit bigger now.
"Seungmin, I think it's about time you tell Minho. He won't get mad at you. Does he get mad at me?" Seungmin nodded innocently. "That's only when Innie is bad. When I told you and Minho I was a little, was he mad?" Seungmin shook his head, feeling guilty over nothing. "I think Minho will love it! He'll love you as much as he loves Innie. Maybe even more because Puppy is just so cute!" He tickled Seungmin's tummy a bit. "So what do you think? And I want both sides to make an agreement. Not just puppy Seungie, not just Seungmin. But Kim Seungmin as a whole,"
"Okay..." Seungmin shook his hands from nerves. He was gonna tell Minho. Jeongin was right beside him.
"You go in first. I'll be right behind you," Jeongin patted Seungmin's back.
Seungmin looked at Jeongin. "You're supposed to be younger than me,"
"Yeah okay, you old crybaby."
Seungmin chuckled, then opened the door to Minho and Felix's room. He saw both boys on their phones, not even talking with each other. Jeongin stood right behind Seungmin. "Felix, I think Chan wanted to play some League Of Legends with you in his room." He announced.
"Oh? Why didn't he just tell me?" Felix hopped off his bed and ran to Chan's room.
Jeongin smiled as he closed and locked the door.
Minho put his phone away and pulled Seungmin into a tight hug. "What's up?" He asked as he leaned back and stroked Seungmin's hair.
The maknaes made eye contact. Jeongin nodded as he sat on Felix's bed. Seungmin took a deep breath in and out before announcing out of the blue, "I'm a little,"
"Damn that was straight-forward," Jeongin choked.
Minho looked down at Seungmin. "I know,"
The vocalist looked up at Minho with wide eyes. "You what–?"
"I know, Seungmin. I've known for a while now,"
Stunning. "Whe– when? How?" His heart rate shot up as did his breathing. Not again.
"It's okay, Seungmin," Minho pressed soft kisses along Seungmin's forehead. "You're okay. I've had my suspicions for some time but you just confirmed it. I'm glad you did. But... why didn't you just tell us before?"
Seungmin shrugged. "I was scared..."
The couple looked at each other. "Fair enough," Minho put one arm out and motioned for Jeongin to join their cuddle session. The boy compiled and cuddled up next to Seungmin. "Now I have my two babies with me,"
Jeongin and Seungmin giggled at the nickname. "Can Seungie and Innie play now?" Jeongin asked.
"If Seungie wants to," Minho nudged Seungmin's back.
Seungmin thought about it. Maybe. "Seungie want to sweepy..." he yawned almost on cue.
"Then it's nap time," Minho told Jeongin to grab a blanket and some stuffed animals. The little happily hopped to Minho's closet.
He grabbed a Mickey Mouse blanket and a few fox stuffies he had, even grabbing a puppy stuffed animal. Just for Seungie! Then he waddled over to his boyfriend and bestest friend and hopped onto the bed. He gave Minho the blanket to hold and set the stuffed animal crowded around Seungmin. Soon he laid down next to Seungmin and scattered the stuffed animals around him too. "Does Seungie want Daengmong?" He showed the other little his puppy.
Daengmong. Seungie liked the sound of that. He made grabby hands towards the puppy with a pout on his face. On top of that, he also whined. Jeongin excitedly gave Seungmin the puppy and then settled down.
"Ready?" Minho asked, prepared to set the blanket down on the three.
"Innie weady!" Innie looked at Seungie. "What about Seungie?"
"Ta Ta!" Seungie squealed.
Minho cooed at them both then covered the three. "Night night Innie and Seungie," Minho pressed a kiss on both the little's heads.
"Night night Papa!" Innie closed his eyes and held Seungie close.
Seungie also closed his eyes but didn't fall asleep. In fact, he wasn't even Seungie right now! His head was just full of thoughts. Thoughts like how he would love to join the couple's relationship.
"Oh really?"
Oh no. Seungmin looked up at the smirking Minho. "Yeah, you speak out loud a lot, Seungmin," Oh. No. "Don't worry. I love you both. We can talk about this later. When Innie isn't Innie," Minho leaned down to kiss Seungmin's lips. "He'll love you too."
Oh, Seungie. You are one kid.
^~^
How cute.
I am making a book based on this. I'm thinking it'll be posted like next century because I want to pre-write some chapters before posting. Stay tuned and stay stay!
~ Quokka wuv chu wif alw Quokka's heart! Wike dwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssss muchies!